Bayonetta – Review

1. Action-adventure games that are not console exclusives are becoming a rarer and rarer breed on modern consoles. What’s even worse for fans of the genre is that those few hack and slash games that make it out for multiple platforms are usually either bad (Dinasty Warrior 6) or disappointing (Devil May Cry 4). On top of it all these games don’t sell, and taking risks with software is definitely out of publishers’ vocabulary since 2005. That’s why it was surprising that SEGA unveiled Bayonetta, a ambitious and quirky game, as a show-stealer at their E3 presentation in 2008. The end result of that spectacular presentation at E3 took two years to materialize but you would be surprised just how backwards Bayonetta is! After many years in development, after riding almost the entire next generation wave, and after SEGA’s extensive experience with action-adventure games Bayonetta manages only two things: crassness and backwardness.
   
   Make no mistake, Bayonetta fully deserves its M rating. From the get go Team Little Angles wanted to emphasize Bayonetta’s violent nature. The game starts out in a cemetery as Bayonetta, the titular heroine, unleashes some black magic on an unearthed casket with the purpose of reviving a vile demon. Her intrepidness brings about the exclamations of a Danny de Vito-like character (swearing included) and the wrath of Paradisio’s agents (read: angels). No sooner do these angels start pouring from the sky that Bayonetta proceeds to unleashing a massive can of whoop-ass on the sorry sacks of deformed biblical-painting ass, all the while striking provocative poses and gyrating gratuitously. Without being prudish most mature gamers, apparently this game’s targeted audience, will become bored of this over the top violence and sexual overtness. Inventive swearing, tons of crotch shots, massively cool killing animations, scantly clad women, strategically positioned cameras and more will make for a 15-year olds wet dream but will leave most others cold.
   
   Bayonetta, as a character, is a poorly objectified sexual toy; a recurring theme in most Japanese games. She is as flat a character as they come: she offers no duality, no rooting in reality of any kind, suffers from typical amnesia and generally would fit perfectly in a B-movie. Other characters don’t fare much better. Luka, the extremely lame love interest, is a “perseverant journalist”. Cereza is a little girl that looks a lot like Bayonetta and is an “innocent little child who can see the (true) world through her pure eyes”. Whatever is left of the cast isn’t fleshed out at all or is even more forgettable than the main characters.
   
   The game’s story revolves mostly around these characters so the results can only be as good as the raw materials. Bayonetta takes an archetypical video-game feud and runs with it as a story. In times of yore two clans of witches, one light and one dark (not unlike chocolate), held the universe in balance and “wrote history”. Something bad happened and the clans fought each other into extinction... almost. Bayonetta is the last of the Umbran witches (the dark ones) and her quest is... well, boring. Bayonetta devolves into a boring, non-sensical story about Heaven vs. Hell where, you guessed it!, your on Hell’s side! The juxtaposition of good and evil in the form of a game is a lofty idea from SEGA, if it would only be fleshed out. Bayonetta is simply a lame cover up for a broad set of ideas that religion controls people and that it’s bad so you (the player) have to destroy it. This might just be a perfect story for the local forum-dwelling antichrist but the plot here is so weak and the symbolism so thinly veiled that very few will get a kick out of it.
   
   By far however the biggest problem with the story is its presentation. No game released in the last decade has poorer cutscenes than Bayonetta! All of the cutscenes are either shot using the in-game engine or are stills pasted across the screen in an anime-wannabe style. All of these cutscenes are horribly presented, poorly voiced and feature a metric TON of nonsensical dialogue, poor action sequences and voyeur-ish shots of Bayonetta’s breasts, ass and crotch. These cringe-inducing sequences can thankfully be skipped; a feature you’ll be glad to have!
   
   From a technical stand point Bayonetta is graphically beautiful and an auditive abomination. Sound fares poorly throughout, with only a few sound effects standing out as accurate and “full” (screaming, explosions). Other sound effects are horrid, such as slashing and cutting through flesh, or poorly encoded. Several sound effects are completely missing (footsteps) and entire parts of some levels feature no sounds outside of music. Background music doesn’t fare any better being, quite possibly, the worst music ever featured in a game release. The combination of j-pop, jazz and choral cues has no redeeming feature outside of being “music”. This “music” is diluted further into a disgusting mix of genres that doesn’t fit the action on screen and makes ears bleed. Voice acting is even worse, no thanks to the paltry dialogue.
   
   Bayonetta is however, a good looking game. Many times you’ll spot a bad texture, a cutscene encoded at a much lower resolution than the main game, some screen tearing, or some poorly animated action (in cutscenes) but that’s nitpicking. When Bayonetta is rolling and firing on all cylinders the screen is flooded with light, color, blood, particles and numerous well animated monsters. The details of both the levels and the characters are exquisite with ample time being allotted to creating some of the most complex and bizarre locales in gaming. Animation is, however, Bayonetta’s strongest graphical feature not only through its fluidity but through its variety; you’ll seldom get bored of seeing battles in motion thanks to a great assortment of intricate moves. Amazingly the game moves at a brisk pace, displaying hardly a few frames of slowdown or lag throughout the whole 10-12 hour experience.
   
   In terms of gameplay Bayonetta is a standard action hack and slash. The game is perfectly linear, it has no puzzles to speak of and nothing to do outside of combat and a few vehicle sections. The actual gameplay is structured in a number of chapters, which are split into verses (levels). Not all of the verses are mandatory and some will take real skill to even access, but completing these optional levels increases one’s skill rating for that particular chapter. Chapters are capsized by cutscenes and weird minigames. The most iconic of these minigames is an angel shooting gallery of sorts where successful kills grant extra points. Between each chapter players can also save, change difficulty or visit the Gates of Hell, Bayonetta’s in-game shop.
   
   By far the strongest element of Bayonetta’s gameplay is its combat. No game during this generation of consoles, or even before it, features such depth in terms of moves, abilities and variety as Bayonetta. Fighting is decidedly brutal, fun and approachable thanks to a simple control scheme. Only 3 buttons are needed to actually string together some of the most far out moves in gaming: a kick, punch and gun button. Combos are extremely complex and can be performed both in the air and on the ground. Enemies can be thrown into the air for even more devastating damage. Upon completing some of these moves Bayonetta uses her hair to summon massive appendices (feet, fists) from another dimension to rain down hell on unsuspecting foes.
   
   Successful combos are finalized through an aptly named torture attack which launches enemies into vicious torture devices. The animation variety for these sort of attacks is much more limited than for the actual combat but seeing angels being viciously ripped apart by torture devices never gets old. On top of torture attacks Bayonetta has one more final, mega-powerful spell, known as a climax attack (would you have it any other way?). Climax attacks are triggered through scripted events and involve huge hair-monsters that take different shapes (dragons, spiders, etc.) all the while our heroine strikes a half naked pose. Said monsters proceed to mauling, biting or otherwise inflicting serious trauma on the game’s assortment of monsters and bosses. Finally Bayonetta can enter witch-time when she successfully dodges an attack. Witch time is the only defensive move in the game and the bullet-time-like effect of this special dodge is about the only way you’ll be able to get out of harms’ way and string together larger combos.
   
   Monster and boss variety is satisfactory. All of Bayonetta’s foes are extremely well animated and sport some superb creative touches. From the first angels you’ll encounter, with their disfigured shapes and huge polearms, to some of the later, building-sized bosses, creativity and attention to detail ooze from every design. Throughout the game players will also face half-flesh half-metal demon ships, small flying heads, witches of different sorts and more. Bosses are also impressive, starting small and gradually getting more and more insane. Some of the late-late-game bosses are so big that even rotating the camera will not allow you to get a good look! The only real problem with monster design stems from their frequent recycling. While facing 2-3 earlier bosses at once in a later part of the game may be cool these are still the same recycled enemies as before.
   
   The game’s levels are huge pieces of art that are seemingly there only for the purpose of showing off some of the most grandiose images in gaming. Even if all of these levels are linear and virtually indestructible, the sheer variety of vistas is impressive. Players will travel from medieval cities with crooked streets, to outer space and inter dimensional vortexes or even Heaven itself. If you’re impressed by scale than Bayonetta will certainly satisfy you... to a point. Bayonetta’s scale sometimes drags it down. From the aforementioned repetition of bosses in later levels to the utterly absurd design of some of the levels themselves Bayonetta overdoes it. In addition to the regular gameplay however Bayonetta also features two vehicle segments inspired from SEGA classics. These levels are so poor and banal that the only reason you’ll remember them is for the headaches they’ll cause.
   
   With all of this in mind it must be said that Bayonetta spends an awful lot of time traveling from point A to point B and downtime, in a game that features no puzzles or challenges outside of combat, is never any fun. Must of Bayonetta’s downtime is spent in stupidly hard platforming sections. Not because Bayonetta can actually jump, she can’t, but because the game insists on using a series of quick-time events to automate jumps. Quick-time events are the bane of the industry in recent years but Bayonetta transforms this rather banal element into a chore. The unpredictable nature of QTEs and the quick succession of events, from combat to key-inputs and vice-versa, make for some hellishly annoying trial and error sessions.
   
   Missing a quick-time event here and there or mistiming a jump wouldn’t be so bad if only SEGA didn’t punish everyone for actually trying to play the game! Being constantly told, on your first play through, that you are an incompetent buffoon for failing to master a quick time event, falling in a bottomless pit or trying to figure out just what the hell you’re supposed to do is insulting to any modern gamer. Bayonetta’s chastising ranking system isn’t exactly lenient when you’re trying to learn the ropes either.
   
   In fact most of Bayonetta’s problems stem from the fact that this game insists on being as old school as possible in terms of design. Enemies seldom drop healing items, saving can only be done at the end of a level and, worst of all, the difficulty is completely unbalanced. If you’re intent on buying Bayonetta you should know that, unless you get used to the default difficulty, you’re out of luck. You’ll either die trying or breeze through the game. The gap between the normal difficulty and the easy difficulty is so ludicrously huge that you’d wonder who, in their right mind, would actually chose very easy! On “normal” the game is a fully fleshed out hack and slash beat’em up, while on “easy” the game automates all of your combos, gives you max health and magic, along with weaker monsters! Unbalanced difficulty levels are an issue for many games but in Bayonetta’s case it’s a bit different. Switching difficulty from normal to easy shortens the game time from 10-12 hours to 7 hours at the most!
   
   To add insult to injury combat isn’t perfect either. Entering witch time in the air while the enemy is on the ground and firing at nothing (i.e. you’re not actually dodging the attack!) is common. Not only is this an annoyance but it can get you killed pronto. The huge list of moves and combos is great for those with the aptitude and desire to learn all of the game’s possible combos but most people will be relegated to using 2-5 combos that suit them best. This means that success in Bayonetta is as much linked to skill, as it is to luck and button-mashing! Finally the Gates of Hell store is pretty much useless. Outside of selling supplies, such as healing items in the form of green lollypops, some weapons and generic augments (life/mana boosts) most of the items on display are only for dedicated fans. Many of the stores other items are extra moves, special accessories or collectibles that only dedicated fans would bother buying.
   
   In the end, what it all boils down to, is that playing Bayonetta is as much fun as it is a chore. This conundrum culminates in the final level, when fierce and exhilarating fights are followed up by lame jumping puzzles, horrible cutscenes and general confusion. Make no mistake, Bayonetta rewards its dedicated fans with solid combat and good graphics but it makes no effort in finding a middle ground between hardcore action vets and the rest of the gaming community. If you’re not into sex-infused, anime-stylized, hypercomplex, straight-up action titles Bayonetta is not for you. SEGA is unapologetically telling you that through Bayonetta’s rigid and simplistic design which is more akin to games on Xbox Live Arcade than to modern action adventure games!
   
   Gameplay: 4/10
   Graphics: 9/10
   Sound: 3/10
   Multiplayer: N/A
   Overall: 5/10
2. Rating: 
   5
3. Product Release: Bayonetta (US, 01/05/2010)

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