Review by TheSAMMIES

Reviewed: 06/23/14

A short and funny sex comedy

Warning! Pinky Ponky has sex scenes. Don’t play if you’re offended by them and don’t play if you’re too young. Otherwise have fun because this is a very funny and strange game.

Pinky Ponky is a series of dating sims by Elf from back in the old days of Japanese computers. This is a review for the first one. It’s not like a lot of other dating sims, which will make it seem a little primitive to anyone familiar with the genre. There are no stats to raise and the game can be completed in only a few hours. It’s pretty simple and bare bones, but it makes up for everything by being funny.

Story- You play as a sleeping boy with a very huge… Uh… toaster. Yes, you play as a boy with a huge toaster. As he sleeps, he has dreams that he’s talking to girls and trying to seduce them. If you say the correct stuff his toaster gets bigger until it looks like toast is about to pop out of it. Your goal is to get this kid laid in his dreams so he can have a toast explosion and will surely have to clean the butter out of his pajamas.

Presentation- Pinky Ponky was originally on the MSX and it shows. Colors are limited and what’s there looks washed out. The X68000 was a strong piece of hardware, but this being a port, you have to expect it to look significantly worse than what you’re used to. The sound itself is whimsical and evokes the comedic nature of the game perfectly. There are only a handful of songs, but all of them sound good considering that they were originally on MSX.

Gameplay- Pinky Ponky has you talking to girls. You choose what you’re going to say and depending on what you say, your score will go up or down. If your score is good enough, you trigger a sex scene. If it’s low, then you fail the scenario and a new one starts up. There are around five scenarios in total and you should be able to complete the game in less than a day.

What makes Pinky Ponky so good is its writing. It’s so hilarious that you’ll actively want to screw up just to see the girl’s (and the narrator’s) reactions. Succeeding yields funny results too, but not as much as messing everything up. Nothing beats watching the game’s host flip out while your score drops down to zero!

While Pinky Ponky is fun, it’s hindered by its lack of longevity. You’ll probably forget the game even exists in a month, so don’t expect a timeless classic that you’ll cherish forever. Still, it’s a fun comedy with a lot of personality. That should be enough to look past its short length.

Cool Fact- Pinky Ponky is so old that Elf doesn’t have its logo anywhere in the game.You know the Elf logo, right? The one with the little fairy? I was sad when I found out she’s nowhere in here.

Also Try- Run Run Concerto is another one of Elf’s older games that’s surprisingly fun for its age. It’s a footrace game though, so don’t expect to do a lot of reading.

Rating: 6

Product Release: Pinky Ponky Dai-1-Shuu: Beautiful Dream (JP, 08/30/90)

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