As we welcome in the year twenty-eighteen,
I wanted to break up the usual top 10 list routine

And as I was thinking of a new list to write
An idea came to me that I'd tell you of the night

When I heard my consoles arguing! Yes, it's hard to believe
But trust me on this, it's not my intention to deceive!

They must not have noticed me, so I hid outside the room
Next to my statue of Lara Croft (don't judge me, it's a...uhhh...family heirloom)

And listened as they debated between themselves intensely
About which console was the best there was...this, I had to see!

My Atari 2600 initially put forward a case,
"I admit I wasn't the first home console, but let's cut to the chase

I was the first really successful system, I had plenty of good games
Many of you would be jealous of these names!

Pitfall!, Centipede, Q*Bert and Spy Hunter,
Dig Dug, Combat, Pong and Frogger

To say I kickstarted the industry would be selling it short
So now I will say the ball is in your court

I am worthy as the winner of this fight,
Go on, prove me wrong, you'll find I am right!"

"Kickstarted the industry?!" my Wii sternly replied,
"You almost killed it! Has your chipset been fried?

Have you forgotten about those copies of E.T. that were buried in the dirt?"
And the 2600 nervously tugged on the collar of his shirt

"Now me, I truly revolutionised video game consoles
For I introduced motion controls!

I brought back gamers that hadn't played in many years
And made gamers out of old people who had hair growing out of their ears!

With games like No More Heroes, Skyward Sword, Xenoblade Chronicles and Super Mario Galaxy
There's just no denying the best console was the Wii!"

"Oh sure, you had some classics," my Neo-Geo debated,
"But you had lots of shovelware too, and your graphics were dated

I may not have had a huge library that my owners collected
But my arcade-perfect ports were the quality they expected

I was the most powerful console available at the time
And games like King of Fighters and Samurai Shodown were sublime

I had Metal Slug, Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting to boot
If you wanted that arcade experience, there really was no substitute

So you can keep your motion controls, you can keep that little trick
Because REAL gamers wanted to play using my arcade fight stick!"

At this point, my Xbox 360 was preparing its rebuttal
And I could tell it was not going to be subtle!

"Now hang on a minute," it said, "if you want to talk about power upgrades
Then my predecessor, the Xbox, had that in spades

I then built upon that solid foundation
So here are some facts for your consideration:

HD graphics, triple-core processing, Xbox Live and Kinect
And games like Halo 3, Gears of War, Crackdown and Mass Effect

These put me head and shoulders above just about everything else out there
So that makes me the best console of all time, I declare!"

"Haha, that's funny!" my GameCube quipped with an exhaled breath,
"The only legacy you left behind is the red ring of death!

Not only was I pretty powerful, my toughness couldn't be beat
Drag me behind a truck and I would still boot! What a treat!

My controller was excellent, and is still used to this day
And if you want to talk games, then just check out this buffet:

Metroid Prime, Smash Bros Melee, Animal Crossing and Resident Evil 4,
Pikmin, Viewtiful Joe, Double Dash!!, Wind Waker and more!

Gamers want to play games, that fact is no contest,
So that is why I, the GameCube, should be ranked as the best!"

My Mega Drive stepped forward, adding "I could say many things, but I won't
All I'll state here is Sega does what Nintendon't!

While you were busy making games for the young
For more mature gamers, it was I, who was the hero unsung

My games were all quality, with no censoring to be known
I was the machine that gamers wanted to own!

Sonic the Hedgehog, Streets of Rage, Phantasy Star and Shining Force,
Gunstar Heroes, Altered Beast, Ecco the Dolphin and Golden Axe, of course!

I was edgy, I was awesome - you simply can not refute it
I had the sexy hardware and the games that would suit it!"

"If you want edgy and awesome, then just look at me!"
Said my PlayStation with a high level of authority,

"I was so awesome, developers left Nintendo by the flock
To make games for me...I'm sure that was quite a shock!

I was the best selling system of my generation
And gave all of my owners many hours of elation

I had games like Final Fantasy VII, Metal Gear Solid, Tekken 3 and Tomb Raider,
Crash Bandicoot, Oddworld, Tony Hawk and Ridge Racer

This made me the best, for that, there is no denying
I was the system everyone wanted to be buying!"

"Oh please gramps, if you want to talk about sales..."
Asserted my PlayStation 2, "then these are the details;

You sold well, but I'm the best selling console of all time
That fact alone should be enough to make me the prime!

But just in case you needed more convincing,
My library of games should leave you all wincing:

God of War, Katamari Damacy, Kingdom Hearts and Ico,
Shadow of the Colossus, Devil May Cry, GTA: Vice City and the fourth Gran Turismo

This argument is over, I'm sorry but it's true
The finest console ever made was the PlayStation 2!"

My Dreamcast then slowly stood up and cleared its throat
And all of the other consoles stopped talking and took note

"I may not have been on the market very long,
But number #1 on this list is the only place for Sega's swansong!

I was the first of a new generation, with power up the wazoo
With my VMUs, a built-in modem, and my own operating system too

Sonic Adventure, Soul Calibur, Shenmue and Power Stone
Skies of Arcadia, Crazy Taxi, ReVolt and Sega Rally 2 were must-own

In fact, I'm still getting new releases even to this very day!
There's no doubt I'm the fan favourite, and the fan favourite I'll stay!"

Then there was a deathly silence, as if they had entered a tomb
As a slow clapping sound echoed across the room

It was the Super Nintendo! "You all make convincing arguments," it expressed,
"But come now, use your CPUs, it should be obvious who's the best!

Eight buttons on my controller, Mode-7 and Super FX
I won the 16-bit war, and had the most impressive specs

Donkey Kong Country, A Link to the Past, Super Mario World and Mario Kart
Starfox, Chrono Trigger, F-Zero, Super Metroid and that's just the start!

I could keeping going, but it's really not required
I am the greatest of all time, and the system every gamer desired!"

-----------

Just then, I coughed, making them notice my presence
And they all went back to their normal existence

So I walked into the room, realising my cover had been blown
And I looked around at all of them and announced "Let it be known:

Gaming is my passion, you do not need to compete for my devotion
I appreciate you all equally, there are no levels of emotion

'Who is the best' is not an important question as well,
What matters is the games, and at this, you ALL excel!"

And as I exited the room and turned off the light
I heard the Super Nintendo whisper "Yeah...but...I still think I'm right!"


List by White_Pointer (01/17/2018)

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