You know a game is bad when it's more famous for a poorly translated line of text than for the gameplay. The poorly translated text I am referring to is as follows : "As is Chester Cheetah way, is one-person play." This fine example of both Engrish and trying far too hard to rhyme is honestly more entertaining than anyone will ever find this game to be. You play as Chester Cheetah, who, whilst being cheesy, realized that it isn't easy being so. His motorized scooter gets stolen, and promptly broken into pieces. These pieces conveniently manage to disperse throughout the entire zoo where Chester was residing. Your goal is to collect these pieces, so you can rebuild your scooter, and leave the zoo. I honestly recommend not playing this game, unless rage-induced aneurysms are your kind of thing.
A game created in 1983 by the Coca-cola, in their oh-so-subtle anti-Pepsi ad campaigns. This game plays exactly like the original space invaders, however, instead of shooting aliens, you are shooting the letters P, E, P, S, and I, followed by an alien, because PEPSI couldn't fill the screen. Worth a play if you like this kind of stuff, but unless you've never played Space Invaders before, you aren't missing much.
#8: Yo! Noid (NES)
This game is what happens when a large company finds a mildly successful game in another country, and decides to slap a fancy new coat of paint on, and call it a day. Based on the Japanese game Kamen no Ninja Hanamaru, this game has you playing The Noid, a contemptible little bugger hellbent on one thing and one thing only: Ruining inferior pizzas. However, he doesn't do too much of that in this game. Rather, he goes on a generic side-scrolling adventure. The controls and gameplay are sound, but you know you're playing a quick cash-in. Some might make claims that the only redeeming aspect of this game is that it came with a $1 coupon for Domino's Pizza.
#7: M.C. Kids (NES)
The Golden Arches know no limit to their scope and power. McDonald's, the fast food giant, even ventured so far as to make several video games. In this game, you play as two children who go on an adventure Super Mario Brothers 3 style. The basic plot is that these two children have been chosen to travel to "McDonaldland" in order to retrieve Ronald McDonald's magical bag, which has been stolen by the Hamburglar. As to why Ronald must settle for child labor as opposed to calling the police is unknown (It could be that the kind of "magic" in Ronald's bag is something he should keep away from the Police).
Another McDonald's game, (Because the profits of being the number one fast food chain JUST AREN'T ENOUGH) This has you play, again, as two children on some kind of adventure. To advance through the four worlds, you must collect a specific number of "Golden Arches". Truthfully, this game plays perfectly fine, and there are no horrid glitches to speak of. However, this game and many others like it, have been panned by critics, for simply reeking of advertisement. The game uses an engine that is also in numerous other titles by the developer.
#5: Chex Quest (PC)
This game is what one gets when one takes the game Ultimate Doom, removes all the violence, changes the weapons and environments slightly, and covers the protagonist in a thick layer of Chex cereal. To say this game plays like Doom would be an understatement. This game IS Doom, albeit with minor graphical changes. It should be worth noting that this game did succeed, and spawned numerous sequels.
In 2008, Burger King decided to do what McDonald's had done in years past and release a video game. And by video game, I mean several video games. These include Sneak King, Pocketbike Racer, and Big Bumpin'. They were sold for relatively cheap, and were worth the purchase, if only for the novelty of owning such a game. In Sneak King, you, well, sneak. You creep up behind random people, and present them with items from the BK menu. In Pocketbike Racer, you race on pocket bikes. Some claim this is the best of the three, others tout it as the worst. In Big Bumpin' is a bumper car game, where you play on numerous hilarious stages. All in all these aren't bad games, they just aren't "good" in any sense of the word. If you can find them anywhere, I suggest getting them.
#3: Pepsiman (PS)
In this Playstation game, you play as Pepsi's silver and blue clad mascot in Japan; Pepsiman. The main point of this game is to collect Pepsi cans in order to quench the collective thirst of the public. You must also dodge obstacles such as trucks, cars, and children along the way. This game is very fast paced, but also a tad buggy. It looks surprisingly well, and would be fun to play. But seeing as it's all the same thing, it could become slightly repetitive.
In this Xbox LIVE arcade game, you may play as one of two characters: a vehicle, delivering Doritos to their destination, or a bionically enhanced Tyrannosaurus Rex, who happens to love Doritos. The more you play as the T Rex, the more bionic upgrades you get, eventually gaining an appearance likely to gain you the California governorship several years down the road. This game is extremely fun, and good for a laugh or two from some of the in-game comments. If you have the spare Microsoft Points, I suggest getting this one.
#1: Cool Spot (SNES)
If ever there was a game that was accidentally fantastic it was this one. Cool Spot was commissioned by 7Up, in order to promote their product. The gameplay is surprisingly solid, the environments are entertaining, and the music is simply amazing. The music in Cool Spot was written by Tommy Tallarico, and won many awards for it's excellence. Pretty much the only criticism of this game is that it was made for advertising purchases, and that only matters if you care about video game developers being corporate shills. This game uses the same engine as Mick and Mack: Global Gladiators, but everything else about it is absolutely superior. If you are fortunate to have owned, or even played this game before, you are one to be envied. This game is a well hidden gem, and is well worth whatever you might pay for it.
So as it has been shown, games for the purpose of pushing a product can either be very good, or very, VERY bad. Sadly, the days of a good game being made on a $60 budget and 10 hours of programming are far past us. But that doesn't mean we won't have some great, or utterly abysmal, advertisement games in the future.
List by Ampharos111 (02/22/2010)
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