Review by PickHut

Reviewed: 06/18/07

Lots of hard dying going on here.

It's quiet. Too quiet. As your red battleship sits at the very top of the screen doing nothing, the rest of the watery field that takes up most of the screen... also has nothing going on with it. But then you look at the sonar and see a bunch of dots arriving towards the left and right side of your screen. Seconds later, white submarines pop up and start launching torpedoes to the surface. Obviously, this is the point where you counterattack by throwing depth charges into the sea. It starts off a bit slow, but as minutes pass by, the submarines start to attack aggressively. Each now shooting up to two or three torpedoes while on screen, which is not much... until you realize three, four, or even five subs appear on screen at once. You dodge as best as you can, but the inevitable happens: your battleship gets hit and sinks. Well, it actually disintegrates on the surface, which doesn't make any sen... you get the point.

I'm pretty sure you're wondering what the hell this has to do with Die Hard Arcade.


Maybe, just maybe, I suck at playing this game, but I can't manage at all to get through DHA on the default, 4 credit setting. The enemies in this game can be harsh at times. Every time I pop the disc in, I immediately go to Deep Scan, the included minigame, so I can gather up extra credits by destroying subs. Other than that minor delay, you'll have fun with this title, even if it only lasts for 15/20 minutes. As you take control of your dynamite cop (or two with a friend), you'll go through quite an interesting take on the original Die Hard movie. There's no hiding around in this game, you pretty much go running around the entire tower, facing danger at every turn. Hell, your players first jump onto the tower with no weapons at all, despite damn well knowing they'll be facing baddies armed up the wazoo. All they start off with is their fists. But that doesn't make them less of a threat, they're quite lethal as they perform pretty much every move that's been in every beat-em-up before it.

They'll come in handy as you get thrown into plenty of absurd situations. It sounds like I'm making this up, but eventually, you end up running into a restroom while thugs are using it. Obviously, a fight breaks out between you and the three of them as you attempt to grab the anti-tank rifle that just happens to be lying on the floor. Once you pick it up and start shooting off bullets... whew. All three of the thugs, if they so happen to be in your line of fire, will go flying across the room and slam against the wall, while stall doors and rolls go flying everywhere. But as you put an end to their lives, it doesn't stop. Suddenly, more enemies start appearing, busting out of stalls, one by one. Two happen to be kung fu fighters and the other is... only wearing underwear. I don't know. At this point, you're taking on all three at the same time with a metal pipe, and slipping on rolls that are scattered everywhere. Hilariously, this whole restroom fight only lasts under 3 minutes.

You'll attack a tracksuit-wearing, afro dude on the roof with only hairspray and a lighter, while avoiding a giant antenna that wildly moves in and out of the background. Robotic spiders with spinning legs and laser beams will stop you in your tracks in some odd circuit room. And eventually, you'll be trapped in a room facing a sumo wrestler and a fat biker that can roll around at lightning speed (it's as dangerous as it sounds). You'll pick up guns, pipes, missile launchers, brooms, a clock stand, and even a bottle of pepper in your attempt to reach White Fang and rescue the butt-ugly daughter of the President. This is what Die Hard Arcade is all about. It's an enjoyable, short beat-em-up that hits the ground running (literally), and just doesn't stop the whole time as you face off against wacky foes in silly situations.

That is, if you turn off the cutscenes. I don't know who was the genius that included them, but they really disrupt the action-packed flow. After every fight, the game will go dark for about two seconds, show a dumb scene that involves running up some stairs, go dark again, and show another scene where you run through a hallway. It's annoying.

Turn them off before you begin and, well, word to your mother!

Wait, is that the right quote?

Rating:   3.5 - Good

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