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Game Script by Ratchet12345

Version: 1.01 | Updated: 02/14/08


R   R  A A    T   C     H   H E       T  
RRRR   AAA    T   C     HHHHH EEEE    T  
R  R  A   A   T   C     H   H E       T  
R   R A   A   T   CCCCC H   H EEEEE   T

              A   N   N DDDD
             A A  NN  N D   D
             AAA  N N N D   D
            A   A N  NN D   D
            A   A N   N DDDD

     CCCCC L       A   N   N K   K ::
     C     L      A A  NN  N K  K
     C     L      AAA  N N N KKK
     C     L     A   A N  NN K  K
     CCCCC LLLLL A   A N   N K   K ::

         S       I      Z  E
         SSSSS   I     Z   EEEE
             S   I    Z    E

MM MM  A A    T     T   E     R   R S
M   M A   A   T     T   E     R  R      S
M   M A   A   T     T   EEEEE R   R SSSSS




VERSION 1.00 FINISHED: 14/07/2007

+ Finished script from top to bottom, all completed.

VERSION 1.01 FINISHED: 14/02/2008

+ Named the farming vehicle a combine harvester - thanks to Scott Kirby.
+ Added more comprehensive version history.


This is a script for the game - it reveals practically ALL or the story line.
ruins the surprises!              


1: What is this guide for?
2: How I wrote the script.
3: Script.
       3.1: Introduction
       3.2: Abduction
       3.3: Technomites?
       3.4: Vegeta
       3.5: Mysterious Cameras
       3.6: Professor Sprout
       3.7: Temple Exterior
       3.8: Map Room
       3.9: Arrival
       3.10: Skyboarder
       3.11: Shrink Ray
       3.12: Luna
       3.13: Clank Wakes
       3.14: Skrunch
       3.15: Ratchet's Dream
       3.16: Clank Shakes Ratchet
       3.17: Ratchet Wakes
       3.18: Recollelction
       3.19: Test Subject
       3.20: Luna's Coordinates
       3.21: Skyboarder Returns
       3.22: Polariser
       3.23: Tiny Car
       3.24: She's A Robot
       3.25: Plot Thickens
       3.26: Tiny Invasion
       3.27: Enter Clank
       3.28: Anti-Virus
       3.29: Clank Restored
       3.30: Find Otto
       3.31: Tiny Ride
       3.32: Monologueing
       3.33: Not Half As Good
       3.34: Growing Up
       3.35: Shrink Back
       3.36: Making The Switch
       3.37: Ending
4: E-mail.
5: Credits/Disclaimer.

1: What is this guide for?

Hi, I'm Ratchet12345, and this guide is all about the script in Ratchet & Clank
Size Matters. You can use this guide to see what the characters are REALLY 
saying, to understand the storyline better, or just to read for no reason at 
all. Remember, this guide will spoil the entire storyline, so read at your own 

2: How I wrote the script.

I used a Line In cable to connect the PSP to my computer from the headphone
jack to my Line In audio input on my computer (most Windows machines have them
on either the front or back). Then I used a recorder to record the sound whilst
I played the movies on my PSP. As for the visual aspects, I just watched and
typed as it happened (I'm quite a fast typer).

3: Script.

Characters are on the left hand side.
Speech is normal text.
Actions and emotions are surrounded by square brackets, eg [Ratchet wakes up].
Location is at the very top. If the location changes, it wil be noted in plain 

This is your final warning - MAJOR SPOILERS!

3.1: Introduction

Jowai Resort, Pokitaru

[Clank has just finished building a sand model of himself. He chuckles, then
Ratchet walks on it on his way to his deck chair. Clank looks angry.]

Ratchet: [Places umbrella near deck chair and lays down]. Ah, that's better. 
The sun is murder today. [Clank walks to his deck chair] I swear, Clank, I'm 
done with all that hero stuff. Let somebody else save the universe, 
[Ratchet yawns] I need a little "me time".

Clank: [Picks up oil can] If there is trouble, then it is our duty to ensure 
that [Ratchet sleeping] [Clank puts down can and folds arms]

[Big flash, Ratchet jumps from chair]

Ratchet: Ah! [To Clank] Whad'ja do that for!?

[Clank points at a little girl with a camera. The girl takes a second picture
of Ratchet.]

Ratchet: Woah woah, uh, what are you doing?

Girl: I'm taking pictureth for my thcool project. I'm doing a report on 
"Heroeth", and I recognithed you from the nethpaper. [The girl has a lisp.]
You're Ratchet, right?

Ratchet: Well, I see you have a knack for recognising greatness. [Clank 
reads newspaper]

Girl: I wath wondering if it would be pothible to get thome pictureth of you 
doing thome "heroic action".

Ratchet: Well, I would, but there's really not much heroic work to do around
here. Oh, I can lift Clank over my head though, how about that?

Girl: I wath thinking maybe you could fight thome robotth or thomething. I
know where you can find thome!

Ratchet: [Takes out notepad] Well, I do have a massage scheduled in 15 minutes
but... [Girl looks excited] Ah, what the heck, he, I could use a bit of 
excersise! [To Clank] Come on buddy, lets put on a good show for our little
reporter here.

Clank: I am going to regret this.

3.2: Abduction

Jowai Resort, Pokitaru

[Ratchet has fought some robots, and is now talking to the girl. Qwark is seen
in the background]

Girl: Wow, That wath thuper! I can't wait to show everybody the pictureth!

[Clank walks over to where Qwark is standing. Qwark is pretending to read an 
upside-down newspaper]

Clank: Qwark?

Qwark: Huh? Clank! What a coincidence! What are you doing here?

Clank: [Slightly sarcasticly] I am trailing Ratchet and Clank to see what they 
are doing, so I can join in on their next adventure.

Qwark: [Suprised] Hey, that's what I'm doing! [Clank looks angry] De, da, no, 
wait, I mean I'm, I, I, uh...

Clank: Do you not have somewhere else to go? Home to your family, perhaps?

[Qwark looks sad, Ratchet walks over]

Ratchet: Hey Qwark, nice hat.

[Qwark starts crying]

Ratchet: Sorry Qwark, what, was that your mother's hat or something?

[Qwark continues crying]

Ratchet: Seriously, dude, it's just a hat.

[Qwark stops crying]

Qwark: it's not that. It's my mother... and father. I never knew my family. I 
was given up for adoption as a baby and was raised by monkeys.

Ratchet: [Slightly sickened] Ooooo...k. Thanks for sharing.

Clank: Perhaps you should attempt to find your real parents.

[Ship comes and hovers in background, 3 robots come out]

Robot 1: There she is! Get her!

[Girl looks scared and runs, ship shoots a small hut]

Ratchet: Looks like I'm going to be late for my massage. Let's go!

3.3: Technomites?

Jowai Resort, Pokitaru

[Ratchet has successfully made it to the robot's rendezvous point, where they
have the girl captive. Ratchet is on the elevator]

Robot 1: Target acquired. Proceeding to Kalidon.

[Ratchet sees the robot with the girl, and tries to get her, but misses as 
the robot takes her up to the ship]

Girl: Help! Help me!

[The girl drops a small grey object, the ship flies away]

Ratchet: I can't believe we lost her! Why would they want a little girl?

Clank: [Clank picks up grey object] Hmmm. I do not believe they were after 
her, I believe they were after this.

[Clank throws object to Ratchet]

Ratchet: Well, uh, this is a, a... what is this?

Clank: If my memory bank serves me correctly, I believe it is a Technomite 

Ratchet: Yeah, right! Seriouly, what is it?

Clank: I believe it is a Technomite artefa...

Ratchet: [Interrupts Clank] Look, Clank, this little girl is in trouble and
we can help her! Technomites are just some [Ratchet twirls] fairy story
parents tell their kids to explain how technology works, [throws artefact
back at Clank] they don't really exist!

Clank: I believe they do exist, and this could prove it! That is why those
robots wanted that child; to get this object.

[Qwark appears on elevator, very tired and breathing heavily]

Did we... [catching breath] did you... [still catching breath] Huh, wooo, 
huh! That was quite a jog! [Qwark sees artefact] AHHHHHH! Is that what I 
think it is? Oooh, gimme gimme gimme!

[Clank throws Qwark the artefact]

Qwark: I haven't seen one of these since... well, I've never actually seen 
one, but I've heard stories about the Technomites, and their mystical 

Ratchet: [Angry] There are, no, TECHNOMITES!

Clank: But this is our only lead! If you want to help that girl, we should
follow the coordinates etched on the side.

Ratchet: Fine, let's get out of here. See ya Qwark, and please, stay out of our
way this time!

3.4: Vegeta

Vegeta Jungle, Ryllus

[Ratchet is now on Planet Ryllus. Ratchet & Clank get out of the ship, 
whilst Qwark drops off the bottom of the ship; he came with Ratchet & Clank

Clank: The Technomites appear to have abandoned this area.

Ratchet: Yeah, the "Technomites", are really tricky that way. Alright, let's 
get this over with. Where are we going?

Clank: Well...

Qwark: I'd go that way, but that's just me.

Ratchet: Ohhh, Qwark! Why can't you just leave us alone?

Qwark: Look, I can help you! I've been here before!

Clank: Do you know where we should take this object?

Qwark: Of course I do, but what's in it for me?

Ratchet: You want to find your family, right?

Qwark: Uh-huh.

Ratchet: Well, if you tell us where to go, you can stay here and use our 
[screen appears from ship] ship's computer to research your family history!

Qwark: Ooooh, great idea! I'll do it! [Starts typing on computer]

Clank: Qwark, where do we take the artefact?

Qwark: I'd try that big building. For some reason, the good stuff is always in 
the biggest buildings. [Continues to type]

Ratchet: [Doubtful] Thanks Qwark, you've been helpful. [rolls eyes]

3.5: Mysterious Cameras

Vegeta Jungle, Ryllus

[Ratchet is deep in the Vegeta Jungle on Planet Ryllus. He notices a camera
following him. He tries to avoid being filmed but the camera just moves with 
him. Ratchet then pulls out his Lacerator and shoots the camera. Another camera 
appears and he shoots it down too. A third camera appears.]

Ratchet: Those cameras just keep on coming. [To Clank] What should we do?

Clank: Just ignore them. They are probably an automatic security system.

Ratchet: Alright, let's keep moving. They blow up real good though.

[Back at the ship, Qwark is still trying to find his family. A camera is 
filming him too, but Qwark is unaware]

3.6: Professor Sprout

Vegeta Jungle, Ryllus

[Ratchet & Clank are still in the Vegeta Jungle on Planet Ryllus. They find a 
small man with a watering can.]

Ratchet: Woah woah! Hang on now there, now be careful with that.

[The man shoots water at the ground, and a mutated plant grows]

Ratchet: [Relieved] Whooo! That was a close one! Now, let me have that water 
pistol, little fella.

[The plant eats Ratchet, Ratchet yells while Clank looks in awe, then listens 
to the man]

Man: It works! Hoo-hoo! I finally perfected my Sprout-O-Matic

Clank: Sprout-O-Matic, you say? How does it work?

Man: By shooting Mimic plants, you can make them follow you, then by using it 
to water ElectroSoil, the plant will hop in and then transform itself in to a
platform, a creature, whatever you need!

[Plant still trying to digest Ratchet, but it spits Ratchet out eventually]

Ratchet: [Relieved] AHHHH, huh? Ahhh.
Clank: Did you hear that, Ratchet? That would come in very handy!

Ratchet: Yeah, great.

Man: Since you helped with the final test, I will give you this prototype to 
try for yourselves!

[Plant looks as if it's going to eat he man]

Man: [Scared] Woah!!!

3.7: Temple Exterior

Vegeta Jungle, Ryllus

[Ratchet & Clank have come to a temple in the Vegeta Jungle on Planet Ryllus. 
Ratchet can't open the door]

Ratchet: Great, it's locked! [To Clank] Well, it looks like we'll never find 
out what that doohickey is. Come on, let's go!

[Clank finds a small hole in the temple wall]

Clank: I am able to squeeze through this crevice. Wait here, and I will unlock
it from the inside.

Ratchet: Alright, just don't take all day!

3.8: Map Room

Vegeta Jungle, Ryllus

[Clank has unlcoked the temple, Ratchet is outside sleeping]

Clank: Ratchet?

Ratchet: [Wakes up] Huh?

[They both walk in to a mysterious room with a big machine in the middle. 
Ratchet is confused]

Ratchet: How do we know the whole place won't explode when you put that on 

Clank: We do not.

[Ratchet rolls eyes, Clank puts the artefact on the machine]

Ratchet: See, I told ya, big waste of time.
The machine activates and zaps 4 walls, revealing gears, then a holographic 
intergalactic map appears.]

Ratchet: [Amazed] Woooaaahhh!! This is soooo cool! What do you think it is?

Clank: It is a Technomite map room. They built these rooms to keep track of the
planets they inhabited. [Points at planet] This one is Kalidon.

Ratchet: Hey, that's where that robot soldier said that he was taking the girl!

Clank: Exactly! And here are it's coordinates. I have never seen these 
coordinates on any other maps!

Ratchet: Well, what are we waiting for!? Let's go get her.

3.9: Arrival

Mechanoid Factory, Kalidon

[Ratchet & Clank have arrived on Planet Kalidon. They get out of the ship.]

Clank: This does not seem right... it has been too easy.

Ratchet [Angry] Easy!? Hows about I ride around on your back while you do all 
the fighting!

Clank: I mean that if the Technomites want to stay hidden, they are making it 
awfully easy to find them.

[Qwark somehow appears in ship and jumps out]

Qwark: I did it! I found my real family! I was poking around on the computer 
when I got a message from some company called *Faux-Family.com! [Screen appears 
with a man's and woman's picture connected to Qwark's picture] It's my entire 
family tree! I... I've got to... I've got to go get to them! [Qwark runs off] 
Good luck with, uh, whatever it was you were doing!

Clank: *Faux-Family.com? Does that seem odd to you?

Ratchet: Whatever! At least he's outta here! Let's get movin'.

*: "Faux" means "false" in French; I wouldn't trust a site called

3.10: Skyboarder

Mechanoid Factory, Kalidon

[Ratchet & Clank have now explored some of Kalidon. They run in to a man 
modifying an engine of some sort.]

Ratchet: Tweakin' the old engine eh?

Skyboarder: [Trying to fast talk] Why? What? What? What have you heard? Who are
you? What are you doing here? Did the committee send you.

Clank: Sorry sir. We did not mean to upset you.

Skyboarder: Yeah, well, you know, you can't be too careful these days, right! I
mean, first they accuse me of using nano-roids, right, then they say I'm, like,
using illegal alterna-fuel! Do I look like a cheater to you?

Ratchet: Uhhh... no! Not at all. You seem A-Ok to me.

Skyboarder: Ok, here man, [throws Ratchet Skyboard] let's race, and I'll prove
I'm not a cheater. If you can beat me, I'll have a surprise for ya.

3.11: Shrink Ray

Mechanoid Factory, Kalidon

[Ratchet has won the race, and thus has beaten the Skyboarder. The Skyboarder
goes to Ratchet]

Ratchet: Soooo, you said you'd give us something if we beat you?

[Skyboarder throws Clank a gadget]

Clank [To Ratchet] This is a Shrink Ray. They are very difficult to acquire.

Skyboarder: Ah, here man, you can have these too. [Throws Ratchet Grind Boot]
They're way too slippery for me to use.

3.12: Luna

Mechanoid Factory, Kalidon

[Ratchet and Clank have tracked the girl down. Clank unlockes the door and they

Girl: Wow, thankth you guyth. You are tho heroic! I've never introduthed 
myself. My name ith Luna.

Clank: Well Luna, we should leave before any bad guys show up.

Luna: [Without lisp] But I haven't had a chance to tell my "friends"... about
your heroic deeds.

Ratchet: Eh, you mean your "friendth", right?

Clank: Ratchet, that is very insensitive!

Luna: No, I mean "friends". They will be surprised that it was so easy to 
capture such stupendous super heroes.

Clank: That is very good Luna! Now try, "she sells seas shells by [Luna pulls
out a laser] the sea..." [Luna shocks Clank, Clank is knocked out]

Ratchet: Hey! He was just trying to help!

Luna: You've both been very helpful. The cameras that have been following you
have captured your every move, and now, we have the information we need.

Ratchet: We?

[Luna holds an arrow pointing upwardds, Ratchet looks up to see a camera. He 
looks angry.]

Robot Voice: Yeah, we got him! This was just too easy!

3.13: Clank Wakes

Junkyard LXIV, Metalis

[Clank is now awake. He doesn't know where Ratchet is. He appears to be on a
battle ground of some sort.]

Clank: [Weary] Where, am I?

Robot Head: They musta blasted you good, soldier. You're on Planet Metalis in
the middle of Robot War III!

[Another battle ship charges up it's laser in the background]

Clank: Metalis? The last thing I remember is talking to Luna, and then...

[The battle ship fires it's laser, destroying the head. Two other ships crash 
in to each other, sending Clank in to a backflip landing in to the head's ship 
behind him.]

Robot Head's Ship: Whooo! That was a close one! You better get movin' soldier 
or you're gonna end up like me!

3.14: Skrunch

Junkyard LXIV, Metalis

[Clank has come out of the battle alive. A tall ship lands, and Skrunch the 
monkey comes out. Skrunch makes monkey noises]

Clank: Skrunch?

[Skrunch continues to talk to Clank]

Clank: You have seen Ratchet? You know where he is?

[Skrunch hands Clank a small screen. Clank turns it on and the camera zooms to
the screen. Ratchet is on an operating table]

Voiceover (possibly Luna): Processing of subject 261595 is now one third 
complete. Begin internal examination.

[Camera zooms out back to Clank]

Clank: I must get to him immediately. Downloading coordinates.

3.15: Ratchet's Dream

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Ratchet is now in a strange dreaml The edges and corners of the screen are 
fuzzy, and al lot of strange stuff is happening.]

Qwark: You're going to need a bigger scalpel, doctor. [Ratchet wakes up in his
dream, not in the real world. Skrunch jumps on Ratchet to prevent him running 
away.] Woah there, big guy, we're just getting started! Now, if you don't like
the sight of blood, you might want to close your eyes!

Skrunch: [monkey noises]

[Another Qwark revves a chainsaw and Ratchet runs away. He opens a door and 
goes through, taking him to a completly different place.] 


[The door vanishes and another one appears, with a robot that looks like Clank
except it has orange lights instead of gren ones.

Fake Clank: It is Ok, Ratchet. You can come in! It is safe inside this door...

[The door closes and dissapears]

3.16: Clank Shakes Ratchet

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Clank has found Ratchet. He runs to his bed to find him unconcious.]

Clank: [He shakes Ratchet numerous times during this scene] Ratchet! Come on, 
Ratchet, wake up! You must wake up, there is still so much to do! I knew
something was odd about that Luna girl! This is all my fault.

3.17: Ratchet Wakes


[Ratchet is still in his wacky dream. He sees 2 doors - one with the Fake Clank
telling Ratchet to come in, and the other with the real Clank saying what he
said in the last scene.]

Clank: You must wake up, there is still so much to do! [Fake Clank spins his
head on his hand] I knew something was odd about that Luna girl! This is all my

Ratchet: Hey, it wasn't your fault; I'm just too stubborn sometimes.

Clank: You can hear me?

Ratchet: Uh, yeah, you're standing right here!

[Clank pulls Ratchet through door back to the Surgical Factory, now awake]

3.18: Recollelction

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Ratchet has finally woken up. Clank is still by his side.]

Clank: Nice to have you back, Ratchet.

Ratchet: [Wearily] Where are we?

Clank: We were both double crossed by Luna. [Ratchet jumps off bed, still 
recovering] I do not know why she did it, but I saw a video of you undergoing 
some tests. They were extracting something from you.

Ratchet: [Still weary] That's weird. I have a major headache, but other than
that I feel OK.

Clank: Well, if we are going to get to the bottom of this. The first thing we
need to do is get out of here and find Luna.

[A door opens and a NurseBot comes out and advances on them. Ratchet realises
that that NurseBot looks like the ones operating on him earlier]

Ratchet: [Angrilly] That's OK Clank, I'll handle this one.

[Ratchet smashes the NurseBot to the ground with his wrench]

Clank: I, uh, think you got him, Ratchet.

Ratchet: [Still angry] I'm just getting started.

3.19: Test Subject

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Ratchet & Clank have made it past all the NurseBots and guards. They walk into
a room with some beakers and a TV screen with Ratchet throwing a wrench on 

Ratchet: What is this place?

Clank: I believe it is a laboratory of some sort.

[The TV screen freezes on Ratchet just as he throws the wrench. It analyses him
and then resumes playback. Ratchet then sees a beaker with his face on it and
picks it up. He recognizes is from the tests performed on him.]

Ratchet: [Angilly] Nobody messes with me like this!

[Ratchet throws the beaker at a large object and it explodes. The Surgical
Factory is going to explode]

Clank: We must leave before it is too late!

3.20: Luna's Coordinates

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Ratchet & Clank have made it to their ship. Clank runs to the ship, but 
Ratchet runs to a screen elsewhere.]

Clank: This station is about to explode! We must leave now!

Ratchet: Here it is! Luna's last enrty!

[Screen comes on]

Luna: The tests are complete, Emperor Otto. I am headed to the city
with the package now.

Emperor Otto: Excellent. Are you sure the contents are perfect?

Luna: Quite sure. We created one subject, and it took 26 of our best warriors
to destroy it. How are things coming on your project?

Emperor Otto: I planted the *fake evidence. Qwarks weak mind is so easy to
manipulate! [Laughs evilly]

Luna: I will contact you when the delivery is completed. Luna out. [Screen 
turns off]

Clank: I have the coordinates.

* The fake evidence was seen in Arrival, when Emperor Otto's face was seen
connected to Qwarks face, thus explaining "False-Family" 

3.21: Skyboarder Returns

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Ratchet & Clank have at somepoint returned to the remains of the Surgical 
Factory. They see the skyboarder from the Mechanoid Factory and go to him]

Skyboarder: OK, OK, alright, here's the deal. I've got these two identical 
skyboards for us to use, right? We'll race one more time to prove who's the 

Clank: Is that a Polariser attatched to your darkmatter acceleration module?

Skyboarder: [Sarcasticly] Woah, so it is! Man, I never really noticed it 
before! [Normal] So what do you think, runt? Want to give it another go?

[Ratchet looks doubtful]

Skyboarder: I'll give you the Polariser if you beat me!

[Ratchet looks evilly at the Skyboarder]

3.22: Polariser

Surgical Factory, Medical Outpost Omega

[Ratchet has beaten the Skyboarder. He hovers over, stops, and pulls the
Polariser off his skyboard.]

Skyboarder: This stupid piece of junk never worked right anyway. [Throws 
Polariser to Clank]

Clank: It make magnets change polarity so that they either  push or pull 
[Skyboarder looks confused] when you... never mind. Thank you sir.

3.23: Tiny Car

Technomite City, Challax

[Ratchet & Clank have now arrived at the Technomite City on Planet Challax.]

Ratchet: This doesn't look too hospitibale. [Throws rock] Maybe they put in
false coordinates to throw us off the trail.

[Ratchet almost throws what he thinks is another rock]

Clank: Wait! Do not throw that!

[Ratchet realizes that it's a very small hovercar]

Ratchet: Woah! Look at this! It's a hover car! Good eyes pal; I was about to
throw our only hope halfway across the planet.

3.24: She's a Robot

Technomite City, Challax

[Ratchet & Clank have made it to a huge room. Luna is life sized and has a door
in the back of her head with a bridge extending from it.]

Ratchet: There she is! Let's get her!

Clank: *Ratchet, do you notice anything unusual about Luna?

[Technomites start to appear from Luna's head and cross the bridge]

Ratchet: Well, she does seem to have an unusually large door in the back of her

Clank: And why do you suppose that is?

Ratchet: She's um, er, a robot?

Clank: Correct. I believe the Technomites set us up from the begginning. What I
do not know is why.

Ratchet: Oh yeah? I bet those Technomites inside her head know why, and now I'm 
gonna find out.

[Luna takes off from the room]

Clank: It appears we will have to catch her first.

[Ratchet & Clank drive back to their ship and make themselves normal size there
to find Qwark]

Qwark: [Pounding on ship] Great news fellas! I found my father! Turns out that
he is the leader of...

Ratchet: Not now, Qwark! We've got important business to take care of!

Qwark: But this is important too! [Ratchet & Clank take off] I just wanted 
to... tell you that...

3.25: Plot Thickens

Farming Cooperative, Dayni Moon

[Ratchet & Clank have tracked Luna down and survived her attacks thus far. Luna
lands her ship.]

Luna: So... the courageous super heroes finally catch the little girl.

Clank: we know what you are, Luna.

Ratchet: What we don't know is why!

Luna: [Now in robotic voice with red eyes] We knew you'd fall for it, Ratchet.
You can't resist playing the hero. We just needed to get you to our lab so we
could extract your DNA, and this was the easiest way to do it.

Clank: But why do you need his DNA?

Luna: We technomites are tired of being taken advantage of. Everyone uses our
technology, but no one gives us credit. Our robots are strong, but as you have
demonstrated, they are no match for Ratchet. So we are making our own Ratchets.

Ratchet: What?

Luna: Using our advanced cloning technology, Emperor Otto has begun creating an
entire army of Ratchets. His Clone Factory is churning them out as we speak. 
You are already to late to stop him. [Luna's ship turns in to a combine 

3.26: Tiny Invasion

Farming Cooperative, Dayni Moon

[Ratchet & Clank have defeated Luna. She blows up and is sent flying. She lands
on the other side of the arena. Her small door opens.]

Clank: The construction of this robot is more advanced than anything I have 

Ratchet: Hey, advanced or not, she took the factory coordinates with her when 
we, um... you know, 'disabled' her.

Clank: I believe I may be able to interface with her to retrieve those

Ratchet: [Doubtful] I dunno, Clank; something this advanced must have some
security programs to keep you from doing that.

Clank: I am sure I will have no trouble acoiding whatever security she has 

[Clank starts to interface with Luna]

Clank: Here we go. Past the cerebral sheild... avoid the mainframe intake
security protocol... and... bingo.

Ratchet: [Surprised] You got it!?

Clank: Yes. The coordinates are [Clank gets shocked and passes out]

Ratchet: Clank!?

[Technomites are entering Clanks body. Ratchet flicks one away]

Ratchet: No! Now what!? I got it! Here I come, Clank!

[Ratchet shrinks himself and enters Clank's body]

3.27: Enter Clank

Inside Clank

[Ratchet is now inside Clank. A guard is there.]

Guard: FREEZE! Put your hands in the air! [Ratchet cooperates] Now turn around
veeerrry slowly.

Ratchet: Who are you?

Guard: I'm Clank's security backup; I come online whenever his power's out to
protect his circuitry. Hey, you're Ratchet, aren'tcha?

Ratchet: Uh... yeah.

Guard: Whew! I thought you were another one o'them soldiers that came marchin'
through here. I think they're tryin' to get into the old memory bank.

Ratchet: Well, I'm here to get rid of them and figure out how to wake Clank.

Guard: Well, if you can get all the soldiers outta here, I can throw the
auxillary switch to turn Clank back on, but I can't do it 'till all the 
soldiers are gone though!

3.28: Anti-Virus

Inside Clank

[Ratchet has killed all the soldiers. The guard agrees to throw the auxillary

Guard: Great work! Now, stand back son.

[The guard throws the switch, and a siren goes off]

Guard: You better get outta her before the automatic virus detection program
comes online and hunts ya down! I'd, uh,  head for the mouth if I was you.

3.29: Clank Restored

Farming Cooperative, Dayni Moon

[Ratchet has escaped from Clank. He un-shrinks himself.]

Clank: [Wearilly] What happened?

Ratchet: You got short circuited when you interfaced with Luna.

Clank: Hmmm, she must have had a level 9 access protocol installed, which
activates retroactivly...

Ratchet: [Interuppts] No, of course she did! Right before you conked out, you
said you found the Clone Factory coordinates.

Clank: Accessing... yes, I do have them. I can not believe I was stupid enough
to make such a simple mistake.

Ratchet: Don't worry; it happens to the [points at himself] best of us, pal!
The important thing is you got the coordinates.

Clank: I suppose you are right. We should get going.

3.30: Find Otto

Cloning Factory, Quadrona

[Ratchet and Clank have now arrived at the Clone Factory.]

Ratchet: Oh, I don't believe it. Another dead end!

[He sees Clank looking on the ground]

Ratchet: Did you lose a contact or something?

[Clank picks up a small car]

Clank: Just as I suspected.

Ratchet: Of course: the factory's shrunk! Well, let's [starts stomping] stomp 
around 'till we squish it, huh? [Grunts]

Clank: I do not think it will be that easy to find.

Ratchet: Fine, this little Emeror Otto should be a piece of cake anyway. Let's
get shrinking.

[Ratchet and Clank shrink themselves and zoom off in the car. When they arrive,
Ratchet gets out and aims his Lacerator.]

3.31: Tiny Ride

Clone Factory, Quadrona

[This is the part in the previous movie where the pair drive to the Clone 

3.32: Monologueing

Clone Factory, Quadrona

[Ratchet and Clank have tracked Emperor Otto down. Emperor Otto has a jetpack 

Emperor Otto: Ratchet, how very nice to see you, although I'm sure you've seen
enough of yourself already! [Evil laugh]

Clank: Otto, I am sorry that no one gives you credit for your work, but there
are other ways to earn respect.

Emperor Otto: [Evil laugh] You actually bought that cheesy story! This isn't
about credit for our work or respect or whatever nonsense you have come to 
believe! This is about power, and what is more powerful than intelligence?

Ratchet: The RYNO?

Emperor Otto: Nothing is stronger than the power of the mind. [A screen hovers
to where Emperor Otto is hovering] Do you seen this area behind me? That is
what this has all been leading up to. I have developed technology to transfer
the intelligence of the being in 1 chamber to the being in the other!

Clank: What?

Emperor Otto: After I have grown these clones to full size, I am going to use
my Ratchet army to gather every intelliegent being in the solar system! Then,
I will transfer all of their brain power to me, to become the most intelligent
entity the universe has ever known!

Clank: That is pure evil!

Emperor Otto: [Extended evil laugh]

Ratchet: Oh yeah? Well none of this will happen untill you get by us.

Emperor Otto: Easier done than said!

3.33: Not Half As Good

Clone Factory, Quadrona

[Ratchet and Clank have made it past the first stage of the boss battle. 
Ratchet backflips on to a thin wall just as 4 clones run in to each other.]

Ratchet: I guess Otto forgot about 1 thing: I'm not half as good without you.

Clank: True.

[Qwark appears. He is life sized.]

Qwark: Papa! Is that you?

Emperor Otto: Yes, it's me you idiot, I mean son. Now be a good boy and get 
those 2 out of here!

[Qwark grabs Ratchet and Clank, and Emperor Otto takes their Shrink Ray. He
shrinks Qwark.]

Qwark: [Sad] Papa, why did you make Qwark so tiny?

Emperor Otto: I've got a job to do son, and it's [makes himself bigger] time I 
took care of your little playmates!

3.34: Growing Up

Clone Factory, Quadrona

[Ratchet and Clank have made it past the second stage of the boss battle. 
Ratchet shoots the Shrink Ray to bring himself and Clankback to normal size.]

Emperor Otto: Oooh, nice shooting! Very clever, too! [Makes himeself bigger
again] [Evil laugh] Now, where were we? [Clank transforms in to Giant Clank]

Emperor Otto: This is getting better all the time! [He starts to float away
from Ratchet and Giant Clank]

3.35: Shrink Back

[Ratchet and Giant Clank have made it past the third stage of the boss battle.
Qwark appears on Emperor Otto's shoe]

Qwark: Papa, can I have a piggy-back ride?

[Emperor Otto tries to hit Qwark with the Shrink Ray, but he hits his own shoe
and makes himelf smaller]

Qwark: You should be more careful; you almost hit me with that!

[Giant Clank turns back in to normal Clank, and Ratchet and Clank chase after
Emperor Otto]

3.36: Making The Switch

Clone Factory, Quadrona

[Ratchet and Clank have finally defeated Emperor Otto. He is still alive, but
he is lying on the ground. Skrunch's ship arrives. Skrunch gets out of his ship 
and starts making monkey noises as he shows Ratchet and Clank a piece of paper.]

Ratchet: What is is, pal?

[Skrunch hands the paper to Clank]

Clank: These are Qwark's real parents. Skrunch says they were killed by 
defective equipent created by the Technomites.

Ratchet: [Slightly sad] Wow, that really bites. Do you think we should tell 

Clank: I think he already knows.

[Qwark is still small, and banging his fists on the floor. Ratchet makes him 
bigger and Qwark goes over to Emperor Otto.]

Qwark: [Sad] So now, because of him, I'll never know my real parents?

Clank: I recognise your parents from the photo. They were great superheroes in 
their day. You should be very proud.

Ratchet: [Notices Qwark's rising rage] Somehow, I don't think pride is what 
he's after.

[Qwark lifts Emperor Otto up]

Qwark: [Angry] How could you do something so evil!? You knew the truth and you 
used it against me to get what you wanted! Now I'M going to get what I want!

[Qwark drags Emperor Otto to the mind-transfering machine and straps him in.]

Emperor Otto: What are you doing! You don't know how it works!

Qwark: You think I'm an idiot, do you? Well, how about having [points at his 
own head] THIS brain instead of yours?You want intelligence? You're about to 
get, the,  um... opposite of that!

[Qwark straps himself in the machine]

Ratchet: [Worried] I don't think that's such a good idea, Qwark! Why don't you 
climb out of there and let's see if we can calm you down a bit, huh?

Clank: Yes Qwark, you should consider what you are about to do. Otto is right, 
you do not know the effect of this machine.

Qwark: At this point, I don't care!

[Qwark almost presses the button, but Skrunch gets in the way. Meanwhile, 
Ratchet gives Emperor Otto the Shrink Ray, and Emperor Otto shrinks Qwark. 
Skrunch is now stick in the machine. Ratchet tries to get the Shrink Ray back 
from Emperor Otto, but he misses and bumps in to the button.]

Emperor Otto: [Monkey noises]

Ratchet: Oh no! Now what are we going to do with him?

Clank: It appears that Skrunch has just added another family member.

Ratchet: Great. Can we get out of here now; I've got another massage schelduled 
on Pokitaru in an hour.

Clank: You got it.

[Ratchet and Clank walk off as Emperor Otto and Skrunch eat some bananas.]

[Explosion, and then Ratchet points his weapon at the camera, revealing 3 mini 
Ratchet clones]

Announcer: So get your Battle Ratchet today! It's the most realistic fighting 
toy ever created! [Does that really fast marketing voice] Warning: Battle 
Ratchet is a living creature that may behave unpredictably. Do not keep Battle 
Ratchet in his original package unless sufficient air holes are provided.

Ratchet: Well, I'm glad they found a use for those things!

Clank: Yes, and they seem to do a good job of keeping Qwark company [laugh].

[Qwark is still small, and is talking to 3 mini clones]

Qwark: So there I was, face to tenticle with the squid beast of Oceana 8! I 
pulled out my trusty Electrogun [clones start to run away] but the salt water 
had shorted it out! A... hey, I was just getting to the good part!

Ratchet: He may be small, but his ego is still big, huh? [Laugh]

[Cue credits]

4: E-Mail.

Feel free to send me e-mail. Tips, suggestions, even hate mail, I'll read it. 
Just make sure it's got Size Matters somewhere in the subject,and don't send 
me any attachments of any kind - your e-mail will be instantly deleted. 
However, if you notify me in advance, I may let you. 
My adress is: ratchet[underscore]12345[at]hotmail[dot]com

5: Credits/Disclaimer/Copyright.

This guide is copyright 2007 Ratchet12345. This guide may be read with no 
permission, and with that the reader may not:

1: Distribute this guide in any form.
2: Put this guide in any material freely or restrictively accessed by the 
public or persons other then the downloader.
3: Sell this guide.
4: Any other things that are illegal with my guide.

Any illegal actions performed concerning this guide will result in 
legal action.

So far, credits go to:

Me: For writing this guide.
GameFAQs: For making the best gaming site out there.
Scott Kirby: For telling me what the farm vehicle was - a combine harvester.

Any site wishing to have a link to this guide may e-mail me for permission. 
(See E-mail).

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