DeathSpank: Thongs of Virtue
FAQ/Walkthrough by Bkstunt_31 / Thnikamanl33t
Updated: 09/28/10 | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide
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Thank you very much! | ¯| | | |¯ | | | | '._______________________________________________________.' | | | | |_|¯|_| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ |_|¯|_| _______________________________________________________________________________ Bkstunt and Thnikaman present: _________________________________________________________________________ o¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯'¯o ( -=- GameFAQs.com's September 2010 FAQ of the Month! -=- ) o_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_o ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ _ .-. ___ | |__| | ,' `. /| _,----._ ,-' _,| | / _ '/ ,'| \,-. _ \ _,--.'-. | | |,-. / ,' \,' | | | | `. | ,--._ (,--. \ | | | _ \ | / _,-. ,'\,-. ,--._ | | | | | |/ ,-. ) _,-' / | | | / `. || \,' \\, _ \ '--. ||\,-. | |,'\ | | | || \,'/ / ,'| | | | | | | | \ _ | | |_) | ,-' || _ \| ,' | | | | \ <,-.\ |_| | | | |_| / / `--' \ | | _,' /,'| || | \ | < | | | | `.__,' `.__ '.| | \,' _ | | | / \`-' || | | | . `. | | / | `-'| | |`. ,' | / / | | `-'\||_| '-| |`./ | |,' / | | | | / /\| / / | | '-' | _,' | '.| / | \_,' ,' |,' '-' '-._,' '.__,-' _____ _ __ _ _ _ _ |_ _| | / _| | | | (_) | | | | | |__ ___ _ __ __ _ ___ ___ | |_ | | | |_ _ __| |_ _ _ ___ | | | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \ / _` / __| / _ \| _| | | | | | '__| __| | | |/ _ \ | | | | | | (_) | | | | (_| \__ \ | (_) | | \ \_/ / | | | |_| |_| | __/ \_/ |_| |_|\___/|_| |_|\__, |___/ \___/|_| \___/|_|_| \__|\__,_|\___| __/ | |___/ - ASCII art by my friend DomZ - Hey everyone, welcome to Bkstunt's and Thnikaman's walkthrough of Deathspank: Thongs of Virtue. Just like the first game, Deathspank, Thongs of Virtue is jam packed with humor and fantastic dialog. It also has a TON of quests, I counted something around 162 quests by the time I finished. In the walkthrough, we'll list all the quests and provide a general guide. In all honesty, I didn't find Thongs of Virtue to be too hard. There's a lot more spread-out quests here compared to the first game, and it's a bit harder in general. But there's also much better weapons and variety, as well as new co-op choices (Sorry, still no online co-op). First though, here are our emails, so you can contact us for FAQs (Check the guide first), questions, or comments: Bkstunt: Gregorio31 @ gmail.com Thnikaman: Thnikaman.Thnik @ gmail.com ============================================================================== - TABLE OF CONTENTS - ============================================================================== Note: Press Ctrl+F and enter in the code to skip to that section. I. Controls.............................................................[DS01] II. Walkthrough.........................................................[DS02] Prolouge: War is hell on my allergies....................[DS201] Part 1: Rambo and the Nun................................[DS202] Part 2: Something sinister is cooking....................[DS203] Part 3: The fall of Santa Claus..........................[DS204] (Optional Area) The Snowy Mountain Dungeon................[DS205] III. Quest List.........................................................[DS03] IV. Runestones.........................................................[DS04] V. Trophies...........................................................[DS05] VI. FAQ................................................................[DS06] VII. Credits and other ramblings........................................[DS07] ============================================================================== Controls =====================================================================[DS01]=== As I mentioned before, the game is pretty much self-explanatory, and I'm sure you can figure it out within minutes, but here's the control scheme: _,.--.,_ _,.--.,_ | _____ | | _____ | |-' `'.__________________________,'` `-| ,' __ `. ,' .,. `. / | | \ SONY / (/_\) \ ! __ \/ __ | ! ,-. `-' ,-. | | |__ > < __| !__SELECT START__| ([ ]) ( O ) ! ! /\ ___`-. ,-' `-' ,-. `-' | |\ |__| ,' `. \ / ,' `. ( X ) /| | `. / \ | | / \ `-' ,' | | `-.____,-. \ / |____| \ / ,-.____,-' | | ,'\ `.___,' / \ `.___,' /`. | | / `-.___,-' `-.___,-' \ | \ / \ / \ / \ / `.__,-' `-.__,' Left stick - Move Right stick - Pan camera Select - Open Quest Log (R1 and L1 to navigate pages) Start - Pause the game R1 - Open Inventory screen L1 - Open Map screen R2 - Block L2 - Target enemy D-pad/Shape buttons - Use equipped items And there you have it. Pretty much everything is self-explanatory, it's exactley the same as the first game, so if you played that you'll be at home here. ============================================================================== Walkthrough =====================================================================[DS02]=== Here it is, our guide to Deathspak: Thongs of Virtue! ============================================================================== Prolouge: War is hell on my allergies ====================================================================[DS201]=== The game begins with a cutscene insuring us that this is still in fact a true story. The cutscene brings us up to speed on Deathspank's activities since his journy north into "Le battlefield". It is at this point we find that Deathspank has been captured by orque soldiers and is forced to peel potatoes but all these things and more are about to change. You'll also have a new main quest. What, you don't want to peel potatoes, do you? A quick note on co-op, the second player can drop in and out at will. This time around, you'll have to choose between Sparkles the wizard from the first game or Steve the ninja. Also, if you bought the game at release you can choose the DLC character Tannako the warrior-spider. Each character has their own unique moves and shares the health bar with Deathspank. NEW MAIN QUEST: Escape the POW Camp From: Storyline Reward: Um, escaping? How to Accomplish: Um, fight your orque captors! Just keep going and you'll finish this quest. Ok, lets go over a few Deathspank-related notes right quick. I'm sure you can tell how to use weapons, and can tell that you can equip up to eight items using your controller. You can also auto-equip armor in the item menu, which is nice, but it doesn't auto equip weapons. We're not going to tell you the location of every single chest, or when you get better items, so be sure to explore a bit and check out any new weapons that you pick up. Some weapons have elemental attributes as well, so keep that in mind. The health meter and experience meter are self explainitory, but the purple thing in the middle is your justice meter. You will get special weapons that you can equip and use for special attacks when the justice meter is full (these weapons have purple arrows behind them). You'll also get special runestones that let you combine justice and melee attacks to do even better special attacks. Deathspank himself as one of the thongs, which allows him to resurrect at any nearby outhouse, meaning you are immortal. You can also use the outhouses to warp around. Quests are all kept tracked in your quest menu, and you can use fortune cookies to get hints on the quests. Some quests will require you traveling around the world, and some you will be holding on to for a LONG time, so keep that in mind to. Ok, let's play. Armed with a potato pealer and your pow gear you set out down the path towards your orque captors. Stabbing the first guard to death with said pealing device you will obtain a semi-auto pistol (thats right, it's time for a little bang bang action). Make sure to open the nearby chest as it contains a fire axe for your convenience. As you walk a bit further down the path you will find a great number of orque guards stationed there, many of which have double axes. The first one you kill should drop one of these and you can finally replace your pealer. In this same area is a higher level orque with a "tesla rod". Kill him and this will be your first WEAPON OF JUSTICE!!! Ahem, sorry. Now head west through the gate that is now open and you'll recieve a quest. NEW MAIN QUEST: Make an Escape Plan From: Storyline Reward: FREEDOM (What, you wanted a cookie?) How to Accomplish: Talk to your fellow POW's, they might have something interesting to say. First you'll talk to the American soldier as he's the first one you'll come to. He'll inform you of the overall plan and suggest you obtain a uniform to fool the bridge guard. Next, you'll speak with the British chap north of the American. He'll tell the orques deep dark secret and major weakness: they can't read. Which makes your new task of forging documents much MUCH easier. What horrible guards. Lastly, we'll talk to the French fellow to your east (Gee, it seems like the whole world is in on this war and like it's not the first time either. Hmmmm.) He likes to talk in codes and informs you that to cross the bridge you'll need to firgure out the password somehow. Now the gate to the east will open allowing you to progress. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Orque Gloves/Boots/Shoulder/Vest/Helmet From: POW Soldier 1 (American) Reward: A charming new set of orquish diggs How to Accomplish: Once you go through the gate leaving the camp head north on the road. Kill jungle beasts for the clothes they ate. Be carefull of the big beasts as they spawn a group of smaller ones when they die. Be sure to equip the orque clothes. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Write With From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: One step closer to escape How to Accomplish: East of the camp you'll find some wooden walkways with some interrigator chickens on them. Kill all the chickens and keep heading east until you find a rather large one. Kill him and recieve a quill. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Use as Ink From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: Even closer to escape... How to Accomplish: Travel north to where all the jungle beasts are, then head west into the jungle. Here you'll be attacked by jungle squid tenticles. Fight your way further west and you'll see a much larger tenticle. Kill this and it will drop some ink. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Paper to Write On From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: Two steps closer to escape How to Accomplish: Continue north from where you fought the squids and you'll come to a rather disgusting place filled with latrene goo's, thats right it's a latrene. Once you have killed all of the smaller goos attck the big one. Once it is dead you'll recieve some toilet paper. NEW MAIN QUEST: Forge Orque ID From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: A falsified ID for clubing and crossing drawbridges How to Accomplish: Combine the pen with the ink and the inked pen with the paper in your inventory. NEW MAIN QUEST: Learn the Secret Password From: POW soldier 3 (French) Reward: Secret and forbidden knowledge of liberation How to Accomplish: As you approach the latrene you'll hear two orques talking to each other about how much they hate their detail. One of them is occupying the outhouse. This is when you learn that gnomes when eaten in exccess causes constipation. The other orque being the good guy that he is helps his friend relax by telling him their soothing password "and the mighty Orque Barks Back". NEW MAIN QUEST: Get Across the POW Bridge From: POW soldier 1 (American) Reward: Um... you get across the bridge How to Accomplish: Once your fully decked out in orque garb, have combined the pen ink and toilet paper, and you've committed the password to memory, go east of the control point and begin a dialog with the orque bridge guard. After you've proven your Orqiness you'll be allowed to pass. Once the bridge is down head across and kill the orques. Then you'll see a gate next to which is a first aid station that will dole out potions for you. So stock up on potions and head through the gate . Now begins the revolution er... um... well, it seems all your POW buddies have been killed with fire. Well now it's up to you. Head north and kill all the regular orques but avoid Ze Commandorque until they are all dead. Once they are begin a dialog with commandorque. Now you'll change into the jungle murder set which resembles Rambo. Nice. He will begin to attack you. He's level 4 so you should be careful and the missles that he calls in with his monocle will kill you in one hit. Hit and run tactics work well. You'll also need to kill the little orques that come to help, but that should be pretty easy. Don't forget to block if you need to and use your justice meter. Remember that you can get a full justice meter by doing a perfect block, you just need to time your block to right before he hits you. You can get in a lot of back hits by using the telsa rod. Once he's dead you'll collect his monocle which is a great weapon of justice that turns your enemies against one another. Now follow the path west through another gate to the north and you'll come to a cave Once you exit the cave you'll walk up a path where once again you'll meet Sandy the tall armored red head who lied to you in the first game and then didn't save you from the POW camp. But I digress. A cutscene will reveal to you the secret of the thongs. ============================================================================== Part 1: Rambo and the Nun ====================================================================[DS202]=== After the cutscene you'll get several main quests and a package. NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Cuisine From: Sandy Reward: A mighty thong How to accomplish: Kill Worten, the cook. Keep playing, you'll have to do this one. NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Generosity From: Sandy Reward: A mighty thong How to accomplish: Kill.... Santa?!? Sniff... Keep playing, you'll have to do this one. NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Compassion From: Sandy Reward: A mighty thong How to accomplish: Kill the nun with a thousand names. Keep playing, you'll have to do this one. NEW SIDE QUEST: Disgruntled Delivery From: Sandy Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Deliver the package to the Army General up north in Le Beaux. Keep going and you'll see a soldier up north a bit, who has a quest for you. NEW MAIN QUEST: Recon the Comm From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Oddly warm gloves How to accomplish: Find the comm tower to the west of the outpost. Ok, the battlefield is a fun place, but for god's sake don't hit the bombs, as they'll kill you outright. You'll also find a odd looking chest nearby that has a circle, zigzag, and a teardrop on it. Remember that for later, as you can fashion your own keys for these types of chests. You can go back to the cowardly soldier for another quest after scouting the comm tower. NEW MAIN QUEST: Radio Signals From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Oddly warm boots How to accomplish: Quick! Run the dynamite to the tower. I suggest you kill the orque's around it first. Again, you can head back to the cowardly soldier for yet another quest. NEW MAIN QUEST: Behind Enemy Lines From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Flaming monocle runestone How to accomplish: Head west of the blown-up comm tower and kill Col. Orque. Col. Orque isn't too hard, use your new monocle to take away his troops and lay the smack-down on him. You'll get your first runestone as a reward, which is awesome. Runestones let you combine weapons and use them both at the same time, when your justice meter is full, for awesome attacks. Try it out when you can. You'll also get a side quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Plan From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Take the plans to the Army General in Le Beaux Kuckelle. Now head to the Navy dock (remember your map is L1) to talk the soldiers here for two more quests. NEW SIDE QUEST: Melon Protection From: Outpost soldier (navy docks) Reward: Undeath grenade How to accomplish: Buy the soldier a new helmet from Poque LaTere's Armory in Le Beaux Kuckelle. NEW MAIN QUEST: Mega Bomb From: Outpost soldier (navy docks) Reward: Greatest generation shoulders How to accomplish: Use the bazooka to blow up the bomb past the bridge. Now head down the docks and kill the enemies around the huge bomb. Now use your bazooka to blow the bomb to pieces. Fun. Be careful and don't run in to fast, there's exploding barrels that sometimes don't explode all at once and can kill you. As soon as you destroy the bomb and cross the bridge, a plane will take the bridge out. This gives you a side quest to use an outhouse to get back to the outpost soldiers. NEW SIDE QUEST: Use an Outhouse From: Storyline Reward: Learning how to teleport? How to accomplish: Simply warp to the outpost soldiers via an outhouse. You can now do the side quest for the outpost soldier by buying him a helmet. The shopkeeper will also have two packages for you to deliver. NEW SIDE QUEST: Find the Taint From: Poque Latete Reward: Well, you get to meet a pirate. How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Captain Taint, in Scurvyville. NEW SIDE QUEST: Off To Farmer Blizbane From: Poque Latete Reward: Minor crit. Potion How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Farmer Blizbane, who lives north of Le Beaux Kuckelle. Ok, Enter Le Beaux and talk to everyone, you should get several quests to do. Also check out Fort Discharge nearby for some more. You'll get ALOT of quests after checking out the city and the fort. NEW MAIN QUEST: Map out the North Pole From: Army General Reward: Molten warfare helm How to accomplish: Sail by the buoy's around the North Pole. NEW MAIN QUEST: Chunk of Gold From: Army General Reward: Molten warfare gloves How to accomplish: Take the heart of gold from Madame Primp in Strumfuquel. You'll need to get her to change her costume and than try and open the odd chest in her room. Make sure you have the right key from the locksmith. NEW MAIN QUEST: Gun Parts From: Army General Reward: Bazooka How to accomplish: Collect the gun parts scattered around the catacombs that you access from the Sanctuary. NEW SIDE QUEST: For the War Effort From: General's assistant Reward: Spinning tomahawk How to accomplish: Collect 50 pieces of scrap metal. These are scattered about and drop from killing orques. NEW SIDE QUEST: Marching Orders From: General's assistant Reward: Undeath sword How to accomplish: Deliver the marching orders to the captain at the navy docks (complete after the Dammit! quest). NEW SIDE QUEST: Odd Looking Chest From: Locksmith Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Examine the odd looking chest north of Le Beaux. NEW SIDE QUEST: Vacuum Tubes From: Radio host Reward: Incendiary grenade How to accomplish: Destroy robots for the vacuum tubes at the Eisenbein residence. NEW SIDE QUEST: Lost Father From: Lucy Eisenbein Reward: Undeath grenade How to accomplish: You'll find Lucy's father past Tricore-7, stuck in a cage. NEW SIDE QUEST: Mercy From: Town medic Reward: Fire axe 2: Hot Steele How to accomplish: Retrieve medical supplies from the Sanctuary. Wow, a lot of quests, right? We can do some of the side quests now, but a lot of them we will have to wait awhile for, some of them (like the North Pole quests) we can only do near the end of the game. Go ahead and try to go to the navy docks. What? This can't be! As you head to the captain you'll be mugged! Gah. You can also talk to the captain for another quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dammit! From: Storyline Reward: Undeath bazooka How to accomplish: Find the thieving orc south of the first broken wooden bridge and kill him. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil for the Ship From: Navy captain Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Retrieve 10 oil barrels from the eisenbein house north of Le Beaux. The captain will leave a note telling you he's at the dock near the jungle in the east. Well, so much for that. Well, remember the broken wodden bridge? Head there and kill the orcs nearby to recover the orders. Than give it to the navy captain. Head north to find that chest for the locksmith, this one has a mushroom, diamond, and a teardrop. We can now come back if we need any oddly shapped keys. You can get the one by the first outpost now if you want, remember it had a circle, zigzag, and a teardrop on it. Head north and take the path east to go to the Eisenbeing residence. Here you can collect oil and kill robots while collecting vacuum tubes. Yea! You'll get a new quest from the jounalist guy while having your oil delivery delayed. NEW SIDE QUEST: Photojournalism From: Radio host Reward: Minor healing potion How to accomplish: Use the camera to take pictures by the lights arouhd the Destroyed City. Head further north and you'll come to Rarmer Blizbane's farm. Here you can drop off your package to him and get another side quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rampaging Robots From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: Orb of brief invulnerability How to accomplish: Kill rampaging farm robots for Farmer Blizbane. You can head north east to get to the robots. Killing them is easy, but try not to smack the little purple beasts as they pack a punch. Also, check out the bridge to the east on your way back. You'll get two more quests. Also make sure to inspect the dead adventurer to the west of Farmer Blizbane's place. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pesky Skeletons From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: Heck from heaven How to accomplish: Kill skeletons and bring their thigh bones to Farmer Blizbane. NEW MAIN QUEST: Lower the Orque Drawbridge From: Storyline Reward: Access to the bridge How to accomplish: Go northeast from the destroyed city and around to the peninsula to find a lever that will let you across the bridge. Head further north to reach the destroyed city. As you kill the orc's you'll notice that you'll get photo op opportunities, so take some photo's if you want. Just look for the street lamps for good photo spots. You can also find ol' Ima and Strunken to the northwest of the destroyed city. After talking to the two (who really shouldn't be married), you can than grab three lemons from the tree. Don't leave, Strunken!! Well, he didn't leave too far, you'll find him south from Ima again. Like always, Strunken want's dung. Sigh... NEW SIDE QUEST: Manure Matters From: Strunken Reward: Help from heaven How to accomplish: When you fight jungle donkey's in the Scurvy Jungle, collect their dung and give it to Strunken. Fight your way east and you'll meet an old friend, the greem exterminator. Needless to say... NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the Lost Jungle From: Greem exterminator Reward: Calvary sword of super carving How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the jungle mating stone and defeat the greem queen. Head around to the peninsula while killing the orcs. Here you can lower the drawbridge that you saw earlier as well as find another odd chest, this one with a heart, a diamond, and a teardrop. You can get another side quest from the radio host as well. NEW SIDE QUEST: On the Air From: Radio host Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Fix the five radio towers scattered around Farmer Blizbane's property. The radio towers are spread out, one is by farmer blizbane, and you'll find four more past the drawbridge into blizbane's farmlands. You can also do the skeleton quest here. The farmlands also have commanders that you can't hurt yet, so leave them alone for now. Keep fighting through the farmlands to the field outhouse and you'll get two more quests. You can also get another quest from the radio host after repairing all of the towers. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find a Detour From: Storyline Reward: Access to new areas. How to accomplish: Keep playing, you'll complete this automatically. NEW SIDE QUEST: Shoot the Recruits From: Outpost soldier (by field outhouse) Reward: Minor healing potion How to accomplish: Kill the giant pips in the snowy mountains and collect their teeth. NEW SIDE QUEST: Heart of Darkness From: Radio host Reward: Help from Heaven How to accomplish: <eet with Scoop the Reporter. You can find him in the Jungle, near the south. (Or use the Jungle Outhouse). You can also do another side quest for Blizbane after killing the skeletons. NEW SIDE QUEST: Thighbone Delivery From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: Orb of invulnerability How to accomplish: Take the thighbones to the demon witch north west of the Sanctuary. Anyway, head south of the field outhouse and you will find another radio tower, as well as the navy captain. Give him his oil and you'll be given a quest. Oh, you'll also find our good buddy the thongolith researcher a bit down the road as well. I should also mention that I gathered 50 scrap metals by now, and you should be getting close as well. NEW SIDE QUEST: Save the Seamen From: Navy Captain Reward: Poison bazooka How to accomplish: Rescue the seamne from the jungle greem camp NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Compassion From: Thongolith researcher Reward: Great white north gloves How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of compassion and fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. Well, the thongolith is just down the path a bit, so if you do take it's readings you can go back to the researcher for another quest. NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Cuisine From: Thongolith researcher Reward: Desperadic gloves How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of cuisine and fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. Keep heading through the jungle and you can find Scoop, the reporter who's papers you've been reading, down to the south. He'll give you a story to deliver to the radio host. You can also find a mutinous pirate nearby, but he's a bit too hard for us right now. Just remember that he is east of Scoop. NEW SIDE QUEST: Scoop's Secret Story From: Scoop Reward: Minor crit potion How to accomplish: Take the story to the radio host in Le Beaux. A bit north west of Scoop is the spelunker, again returning from deathspank. Of course, he'll want you to go get crystals for him. You'll see him standing near caves throughout the game. Every single time all you have to do is get the crystal's from the cave's for him. NEW SIDE QUEST: Jungle Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Very easy, like all the spelunker's quest. Go into the cave to get the crystal for him. You'll also notice a call lever inside the cave, which is used for a quest in the future. Now head south into the greem camp, take out the greems, and rescue the four sailors scattered about from their cages. The navy captain will once again take off and leave a note for you. Ok, If I rescue a crew, you should wait for me! Right?!?! You can find the captain by teleporting to the field outhouse and heading west, where he will be anchored up. Returning his crew will net you another quest. Oh, you can also do the greem queen quest now and get another greem queen quest from the exterminator if you so choose. NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the High Plains From: Greem exterminator Reward: War hammer How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the high plains greem mating stone and kill the queen NEW SIDE QUEST: Embattlements go Boom From: Navy Captain Reward: Hunting sword How to accomplish: Use the C4 to destroy the four orque trooper embattlements that you have fought through already. You can do that fairly easily by visiting the embattlements, with three explosions north of Farmer Blizbane (one directly north, and two further up by the destroyed city, around on the penisula), and one east of Farmer Blizbane. Ok, with all that questing out of the way, go to the Mountain Base outhouse and keep going down the trail. You'll find some Pips who, like the last game, pack a punch, so remember to block and use your justice meter. My advice? Fire grenades, baby! Or, y'know, bazooka's work well too. A bit further on you'll find an odd treasure chest with a heart, diamond, and a star. You'll also meet the brave... er.. cowardly spelunker again. New quest! NEW SIDE QUEST: Rocky Path Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Get the crystal from the rocky path cave. Keep heading down the very curvy path and you'll run into the home of Plaid Pete, who, as you'll see, is drunk off his ass. Deathspank remarks that he'll talk to him later, when it's plot significant. Haha, this game crack's me up. Keep heading down the path and you'll reach the scurvy jungle. Sounds like a nice place. You can also visit Scurvyville, which has quite a few quests for you. ARR! NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate's Best Friend From: Insecure pirate Reward: Major Stealth Potion How to accomplish: Finds some parrots on chicken island for the pirate. NEW SIDE QUEST: Treasure Map From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Feeling heroic? How to accomplish: Find the captains mutinous pirate members: 1. In Scurvyville Jungle 2. East of Scoop, in the Jungle 3. Past Hanna's house, by the UFO 4. By the Crazy Husband Spelunker Cave 5. On spider island NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate Without A Cause From: Treasureless pirate Reward: Grenade How to accomplish: Bring back a generic treasure for the tresureless pirate from skeleton island. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pour Le Roi et Le Pays From: French pirate person Reward: Epic chest of awesomeness How to accomplish: Plant the 10 french flags across the world. Find the "Stand de Drapequ"'s around the world. 1. East of Scurvyville 2. By the Sanctuary 3. Fort discharge 4. Sierra mountains (as far west as you can go) 5. By the Oasis 6. By Worten's 7. Outside of Worten's 8. Spider Island 9. Strumfuquel 10. Dino graveyard. NEW MAIN QUEST: Lemon From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Falchion How to accomplish: Get the lemons from Strunkens farm, nortwest of the Destroyed City. NEW MAIN QUEST: Keys to the Ship From: Cpt. Taint Reward: A ship! How to accomplish: Get the keys from Plaid Pete. You'll need the rum and lemons before you get the ship, though. NEW MAIN QUEST: Rum From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Hammer of Frozen Dooms How to accomplish: Kill Worten to be able to buy rum from Strumfuquel. Quite a few quests, some of which we can't do right away. Some we can. Some will take literally the whole game to do. If you want, go ahead and do the plaid pete quest, it's a rather fun fight and you can get a shiny new runestone, the Undeath Railroad. You'll also get a wishing coin, which we'll need later. You can also complete the jungle donkey dung quest for Strunken, which nets you another quest: NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Droppings From: Strunken Reward: Poison club the second How to accomplish: Kill a tyrannoraptor for its dung. It is located in the dino graveyard. Well, for now head east through the cave (after killing the donkey's in the nearby jungle). Keep going through the caves and you'll complete the detour quest you got long ago. Nice. Kill the commanader (again, bazooka) for some nice equipment and keep heading north. Killing the purple pips here will give you their teeth as well. You'll also find the spelunker again to the northwest of this area. NEW SIDE QUEST: Snowy Mountain Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. This cave also has a special runestone for us, the Nature Tesla Rod. Nice. Go into the next cave. Squash the puny ants until you see the dragon further in. Well, this is Big Poppa Dragon. Get in a few cheap bazooka shots and than go to fight him. When he's about half way dead he'll use a big fire breathing attack, during which you can get in some more bazooka shots or cheap shots at his back. He's not too hard, I won easily at level 6. When he dies you'll get ANOTHER runestone. This one is the Undeath Calvary. Again, nice! Okay, for those of you that bought the game when it first came out, you'll notice that there's a cave to the east, called the mysterious cave. Inside you can find a frozenish monk, with another quest. This area is meant to come back to later, as the enemies in the narrow paths are extremly hard for now, but keep this area in mind. I went through it by myself at level 15 and Thnikaman and I went through it co-op at level 13. It's a great place to level as well as get the best armor in the game from. NEW SIDE QUEST: A Silent Quest From: Frozen monk Reward: Shank's Mega-Bloody Motor-Saw How to accomplish: Kill the Taking Tree at the end of the Dungeon. Anyway, back to the main quest. Keep heading down the path and you'll enter the Dark Forest. You'll also find another journal page from Dr. Eisbein. You'll als see a Salmonella Ghoul chicken thingy that you'll get a quest from. NEW SIDE QUEST: Feed the Salmonella Ghoul From: The Salmonella Ghoul Reward: Help from heaven How to accomplish: Lure a stoopid chicken from the Sanctuary to the Salmonella Ghoul. Yummy. Keep heading north and go right to the Dark Forest Lake. You'll find another chest that has a circle, diamond, and a crescent on it. You'll also encounter good old Rich Cabin nearby, which of course means more side quests. You'll also find the Spelunker nearby as well. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rub It In From: Rich Cabin Reward: War Hammer How to accomplish: Give the magazine to Derek Oil, in his estate west of Strumfuquel. NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal in the Dark From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. This cave also has a nice runestone for us, the Flaming Calvary. Head back out and kill your way towards the Sanctuary. You can also explore around for a few treasure chests. Here you can find some of the medical supplies and listen to stories from the tourist monks (make sure to listen to these stories, guys), but the monk on the stairs won't let you enter. He keeps saying only those near death may enter. Well, you know what needs to be done. Go forth and .... almost die! Yes, now that your heart beat is on the screen, you can now go in. Now you'll see the nun scolding some people for walking on the grass. Urgh.. don't you hate that rule? What else is grass there for? Now talk to these two monks and convince Darren to go skinny dipping, than you can run down to the lake and take their monk gear. Equip it and head back to the Sanctuary where you saw the nun enter. The monk will enter the building, so follow him. You'll also find a library book on the floor, as well as a new quest. NEW MAIN QUEST: Enter the Catacombs From: Plotline Reward: Entrance to the catacombs How to accomplish: You need to burn five forbidden books in the sanctuary room. One is given to you right off the bat. you can find three more in the library in Le Beaux. The last one you need to get from Mr. Frangtrangle, who is past the Tricore-7 robot. North past the Sanctuary is another Eisben journal. Nearby is Hanna's place. She's the witch that Blizbane wanted the package deliverd to. Once you do you'll be given several new quests (talk to the well too, for another quest). NEW SIDE QUEST: Make a Wish From: The talking well by Hanna's place Reward: Minor Healing Potion How to accomplish: Rind wishing coins to give to the talking well. You can give the well additional coins you find at anytime. NEW SIDE QUEST: Heroic Remains From: Hanna Reward: Poison Club How to accomplish: Find the tomb of the unknown ghoul slayer west of the dark forest outhouse. NEW SIDE QUEST: Do Bearalopes... In the Woods From: Hanna Reward: $240 How to accomplish: Kill bearalopes to get their droppings. Geesh, this game and droppings... You'll have to wait for the bearalopes to respawn to get all the droppings. NEW SIDE QUEST: Red Alien/ Green Alien From: Hanna Reward: Minor Stealth Potion How to accomplish: Kill red aliens and collect their goo behind Hanna's place. Head up behind Hanna's house to meet your first alien!! Well, it's not too special, it seems Deathspank already knows the creature. NEW SIDE QUEST: A Safe Return From: Green alien Reward: Ray gun How to accomplish: Recover the space ship parts from the red aliens. Explore the area behind Hanna's house to find the red aliens, where you can get the ship parts and goo. There's also a pirate deserter back here, but's he's level 16 and has a ranged weapon, so leave him alone for now. Once you get Hanna's quest done, you'll get a new quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Magical Ward From: Hanna Reward: Command killer sword How to accomplish: Return to Farmer Blizbane Return to Farmer Blizbane and you'll get a new undead killer sword and a new quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Undead Commanders From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: $3960 How to accomplish: Use your new sword to kill the undead commanders. Finally, sweet vengence. Now you can keep heading up pash Hanna's house. You can also find Dr. Eisbein up the road, who will give you another quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Father in a Cage From: Dr. Eisbein Reward: Super soldier spade How to accomplish: Kill the mark 6 robots to finD the key punchcard. The robots are a little ways past Dr. Eisbein. The robots are easy to kill and only up the road a little ways. After freeing the good doctor, he'll want you to deliver plans to his daugher Lucy. Warp back to Le Beaux. Since thats so easy to do, I'll give you the quest that Lucy gives you after you deliver the plans as well. NEW SIDE QUEST: Tricore-7 Plans From: Dr. Eisbein Reward: Undeath grenade How to accomplish: Warp to Le Beaux and talk to Lucy. NEW SIDE QUEST: Robot Scans From: Lucy Eisbein Reward: Minor Speed Potion How to accomplish: Scan a Mark-7 robot with the scanner Lucy gave to you. They can be found at Wortten's Factory. Be careful how far you go up, the Tricore 7, which is the huge robot looking background thing, can kill you in one hit. So walk around it! You'll eventually meet the very large, obnoxious Leprechaun. He'll give you a riddle to cross his rainbow bridge, but no matter what you answer you will be wrong. After a while you will insult him and have to fight. He grows bigger every once in awhile and will push you back, but just keep at him and he'll fall fast enough. Just swinging Fire Axe 2 was good enough for me to kill him. Once he's dead he'll drop a runestone, Poison Railroad, as well as a library book that you'll need to get into the Sanctuary. Since we have all the forbidden books, lets head back there. Equip all your monk gear again, especially if you are auto-equiping equipment. Don't forget to take your auto-equip option off at this point. Go into the temple of altars and place all the books onto the pedestals than hit the switch. Now move onto the center of the star and head down into the catacombs. Down here the monks will welcome you since you are wearing your monk robes. None of the catacomb inhabitants will harm you, in fact, so keep it that way for now. You can also find gun parts scattered about. Head downwards and here you'll come to the first real puzzle of the game. Hit the switches in this order to pass: 1. Brown 2. Orange 3. Red 4. Brown 5. Red 6. Blue 7. Yellow 8. Green 9. Yellow Now you can move onward to the store room, which holds plenty of barrels and a TON of gun parts. You should be able to finish the gun part quest by visiting here. Now go through the dungeon and you'll eventually see the Nun surronded by five different barriers. Go down each of the colored paths and talk to the silent monk brute's, each of who will give you an item. Use that item on the device nearby to take down the barrier. You can now talk to the Nun, who will tell you that she controls the powers of the five gods that you learned about from the tourist-monks. She'll than turn into each of the gods, or rather make the statues come to life. Now we have a choice, we can either fight the statues or talk our way out of it. Talking our way out not only saves us a fight, but it makes the Nun weaker in the end. The first statue, Beatrice, will knock all your weapons out of your hands. I recommend using the fire axe 2 to continually hit her, and when it happens just run up and pick up the fire axe to continue hurting her. After she's dead you will have all your weapons again. To talk your way out of it, just answer: "Nine years of work couldn't capture it's perfection." The next statue, Lucy, will hit you taking away money. Ouchy ouch. Smack her through your wallet pains as fast as you can. To talk your way out of it, just answer: "I give all that I have to the downtrodden." The next statue, Susan, will slow you down and poison you. She's not too bad, honestly, just block when you need to, use your justice, and smash her to bits. To talk your way out of it, just answer: "That which makes flowers bloom and birds sing." Albert, the next statue, will make you run away from it... and sometimes will shrink you. He is also resistant to fire and has a very weak projectile attack, so use your ranged weapons. To talk your way out of it, just answer: "The last thing you ever lifted." The last statue, Walter, will randomly make all your items move to differnt slots, but he hits like a girl and your items will go back to their original slots after a little while, making Walter no challenge at all. Plus, I mean, you can SEE where your items are so just look and hit whatever button your weapons pop up on. To talk your way out of it, just answer: "I'm confused." After going through all the gods, the Nun will start to fight, using her ruler as a weapon. Hit her with your best weapons. She's not hard at all since you talked your way through the gods, maybe requiring one potion throughout the fight, and afterwards you'll recover the thong of compassion and be treated to a cutscene. You'll also get the gate key to the west. Nice. Notice, the Nun will be harder depending on how many gods you fought instead of talked to, as she will inherit their special attacks, so best to talk your way through. Afterwards, you will again meet up with Sandy and get two new quests. NEW MAIN QUEST: Open The Gate To The West From: Storyline Reward: Access to the west How to Accomplish: Kill the nun. NEW SIDE QUEST: Cantankerous Delivery From: Sandy Reward: Revolver How to Accomplish: Deliver the package to the sheriff of Strumfuquel ============================================================================== Part 2: Something sinister is cooking ====================================================================[DS203]=== Once you pass through the gate to the west you'll see an elevator. Take it up and suddenly you'll be in the wild west. Up ahead the road forks if you go west you'll quickly find a man and woman standing next to a stage coach. Talk to them to recieve your first quests. Walk a bit to the west and you'll discover the road to Strumfuquel has been blockaded by the White Rock Banditos. Also, If you head east down the path you'll find the secret greem camp. Here you can complete the queen of the high plains quest. Beware the robber greems when they hit you you'll drop cash. You can pick it back up but it's still a chore. NEW MAIN QUEST: White Bandito Blockade From: Approaching the blockade Reward: Passage into Stumfuquel How to Accomplish: Complete the damsel and stage coach driver quests. NEW SIDE QUEST: Neither Rain Nor Sleight... From: Stage Coach Driver Reward: 3 major stealth potion How to Accomplish: Travel North past the ghosts and skeletons ( remember your nature club for the ghosts) into the White Bandito's camp you'll find the mailbags scattered about their camp. NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Hats From: Damsel Reward: $11960 How to Accomplish: In the same White Bandito camp as well as on the road leading up to it you'll find the hats. You'll see them as the are hard to miss. Now head south again to the stage coach and turn them in and you'll recieve yet another quest from the stage coach driver. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pretty, Pretty Hand From: Stage coach Driver Reward: Terrible Lizard boots How to Accomplish: Head back to the Bandito camp and kill the orque chief to get his hand and take it back to the coach driver. While your up that way you should head west from the camp until you find some giant ants kill them (Note: fire ants are immune to fire damage) and head north where you'll find the spelunker again. NEW SIDE QUEST: Ant Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Just get the crystal. However, be careful of the lvl 12 ants inside. Now return to the stage coach driver with the pearl hand. Now since that bussiness is complete the path to strumfuquel is now open. So continue west until you find the town here a plethora of quests awaits you. At the North end of the town is a flag post for the "Pour Le Roi Et Le Pays" quest. Go into Madame Primps Brothel and speak to her. Turns out she's a prostitute and she's got a heart of gold. She also has a lot of costumes if you want the trophy you have to pick every postition from the menu. Once she goes to change check the chest for what shapes it needs. Once you get the key go back and get her to change again. When she does open the chest and she will attack you kill her and she will drop her heart of gold which will give you the chunk of gold you need for the chunk of gold quest. [Note: Here's a list of all the costumes that you can see, as given to me by Robin Gwin. Thanks Robin!] 1 Totally Traditional. 2 Patty cake. 3 Make heroic whoopie. 4 The birds and the bees. 5 Double von prong. 6 Bishops scepter. 7 Gorillas wheelbarrow. 8 Rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. 9 The saucey sasquatch. 10 The isoseeles inversion. 11 The one eyed pirate. 12 Chunky peanut butter. 13 Purple pagoda. 14 The twirling fantastic. 15 Spider monkey. 16 The skillful zombie. 17 The forbidden planet dance party. 18 You must be this high to ride. 19 The john gault railway. 20 The plaid bagpipe. NEW SIDE QUEST: From One Law Man to Another From: Stage Coach Driver Reward: 3 Major Healing Potions. How to Accomplish: Just go to Strumfuquel and deliver it to the sheriff. You'll find the sheriff near the center of the town so that you can deliver the note from the stagecoach driver and sandy's package to him. He'll also have some quests for you. Head further west from the sheriff and you'll see the Haunted Crotch bar. Hurray, surely nothing could stand in the way of piratedom now lookout rum here I.... oh. It seems Grimtub Hobblepotty the bartender and owner of the bar has had his licour license stollen by this worten woman we've heard so much about. Drat and double drat. There are A LOT of quests you can get here. Again, some we can do and some will wait for awhile. NEW MAIN QUEST: Nitro Run From: Engineer Reward: Terrible Lizard helm How to Accomplish: Before accepting this quest head south along the tracks and kill the fire ants there. Then return to the engineer get the Nitroglycerine and take it south to the conductor. NEW MAIN QUEST: Liquor License From: Grimtub Hobblepotty Reward: The ability to purchase Rum as well as other potables. How to Accomplish: You'll get Grimtub's Liscence after killing Worten. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rattler Snakeskin Boots From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel Reward: 8 grenades How to Accomplish: Go back to the white rock orque camp and kill orques until they drop the boots. NEW SIDE QUEST: Going Home From: Sad Widow Reward: 10 undeath grenades How to Accomplish: Once you speak with her take her east towards the haunted farm (the one north of the elevator), being careful not to get too far ahead. Once you drop her off at the farm she'll ask you to find her missing husband. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Lost Husband From: The Sad Widow Reward: Chest of the Golden Lion How to Accomplish: The Husband is further down the western area, to the northwest of Worten's. NEW SIDE QUEST: Trillion Dollar Bill From: Banker Reward: 5 ice grenades How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Orque camp and kill the Orque chief there. NEW SIDE QUEST: Money Troubles From: Banker Reward: Fire resistance potion How to Accomplish: Deliver the theft report to Derrik Oil. NEW SIDE QUEST- Queen of Greem Island From: Greem Exterminator Reward: Orb of wicked invulerability How to Accomplish: Once you have a ship travel to Greem Island, kill the queen greem there and take her mating gland. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Waiting Deputy From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel Reward: Awesome armor potion How to Accomplish: Once you've completed all the quests in the Blue Basin Bandito camp to the west the blockade they put up will go down. Just on the other side of it to the North is the deputy. Deliver the warrant and evict those troublesome peace loving monks. NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Snowbellies From: Prospector Reward: Plate Shoulders of Siding How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Sandy Desert and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: Blood Mountain Bacon From: Prospector Reward: 5 poison grenades How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Blood Mountains and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Rashers From: Prospector Reward: Necklace of Use How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the dinosaur graveyard and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: Prickly Pork From: Prospector Reward: Gold Key How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Cactus Forest and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. Once you complete the snake skin boots quest the sheriff will have another quest for you to do. NEW SIDE QUEST: 37.8 Liter Hat From: The Sheriff of Strumfuquel Reward: Venomous crown How to Accomplish: As you walk don the tracks you'll come across another blockade. Just south of this blockade is the red orque camp kill their chief and you'll get the hat. Travel south following the tracks and you'll see a path leading north with a sign that says Dereck oil over it. This path will lead you to the tar pits. Here you will not only find Derrik Oil (In the northern most part of the tar pits), whom you must take Rich Cabins magazine to, but also two spelunker caves (one in the east and one in the west). On the path towards the western cave before the dino graveyard you'll find another flagpost. Once you enter the dino graveyard you'll see the very large Tyrannoraptor from which you must collect poop for Strunken. NEW SIDE QUEST: Tar Pit Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the tar pit crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Grave Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the grave crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Hand From: Derrik Oil Reward: Gold Key How to Accomplish: Return to the dino graveyard and kill some Raptors until they drop the parts. NEW SIDE QUEST: Wealthy Bastard From: Derrik Oil Reward: Awesome armor potion How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. Once you return to Rich Cabin he of course has another magazine. Prepare yourself, the media war is on. I recommend using your portable outhouse for this part. NEW SIDE QUEST: Proving His Worth From: Rich Cabin Reward: Poison grenades How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Banking and Gouging From: Derik Oil Reward: Promotional wristwatch How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Look who's Running Things From: Rich Cabin Reward: Calvery Sword of Mega Carving How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Financial Philistine From: Derik Oil Reward: Self winding pocketwatch How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Who's the Boss From: Rich Cabin Reward: Orb of undead might How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Nouveau Riche From: Derik Oil Reward: Venomous boots How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. Once you get done with that ordeal you may as well go turn in the dino poop to Strunken. No point carrying that stuff around, and he'll want you to gather more dung. NEW SIDE QUEST: Frozen Treats From: Strunken Reward: Great Axe How to Accomplish: Get frozen manure from the frost giant island, north of the Island cave. You'll need the ship for this. Once you've spoken with Strunken return to the Dino graveyard and gather the oil derrik parts for Derik Oil. Once you return them to him he'll have some more quests for you. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Fixin's From: Derik Oil Reward: Ice Bazooka How to Accomplish: Just head south from Derik to find them, they're all over the tar pits. Fixing them will spawn oil monsters, so be ready. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Monsters From: Derik Oil Reward: Incendiary Grenade How to Accomplish: Kill oil monsters in the tar pits and collect their bits. Once you return to Derik Oil he'll ask you yo kill the big mama oil boss to ensure the oil monsters don't come back. You'll have to go to the oil cave in the tar pits and kill her. He'll give you the scented oil you'll need to draw her out. NEW SIDE QUEST: Big Oil Boss From: Derik Oil Reward: Awesome stealth potion How to Accomplish: Head to the oil cave in the eastern part of the tar pits. Once inside use the scented oil Derik gave you to draw her out. Once "she" comes out kill her, it's not very difficult. Gather her head and return to Derik Oil (though I'm not sure the oil monsters have heads). Now that you've finished all of the Derik Oil quests head south and follow the tracks further west. Here you'll run into the Damsel and Stage Coach Driver again. NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Jewelry From: Damsel Reward: Desperadic Helm How to Accomplish: Head west along the tracks until you reach the blockade. From here head south into the Red Renegade Bandito camp, the jewelry will be scattered about the camp. NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Wheels From: Stage Coach driver Reward: Venomous chest How to Accomplish: Kill orques in the Red Renegade orque camp and they will drop the wheels. Also in this camp is the 37.8 Liter Hat you need for the sheriff. Just kill the orque chief. Once you've gathered everything you need from the camp return to the Damsel, Stage Coach Driver and Sheriff. NEW SIDE QUEST: Gunslinger Gloves From: Sheriff Reward: Boots of siding How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Bandito camp and kill their chief. Before you move on, head west of the stage coach into the sandy desert. There are a good many quests to complete in this area. The first of which you'll get from the worthless coward of a big game hunter. He's directly off the beaten path near an outhouse. From there head west and you'll meet Lawrence of the sandy desert. Follow the western edge of the desert south from Lawrence and you'll eventually see a spelunker near a cave (you know what that means). This cave also happens to be one of the caves you need to collect a sample from for the prospector. Go southeast from the cave and you'll see an oasis where there's not only a hermit with a quest but also another flag post for that French lady. While your there head to the center of the desert and kill the dragon there. Beware though it's a doozie. The Mammoth Ice Tusk from the Snowy Mountain cave helps a ton. NEW SIDE QUEST: Worm! From: Big Game Hunter Reward: 250 Sub Machine gun (pffft) How to Accomplish: You'll find the queen south of where Lawrence is standing just kill her and she'll drop the shell. Once you return with the shell the hunter will have another creature for you to kill. NEW SIDE QUEST: Silk Road From: Big Game Hunter Reward: 5 Grenades (double pffft) How to Accomplish: In the southeastern corner of the desert you'll find the spider amongst some skeletons, just kill it and return to the hunter with the spinnerete. Once you turn in the spinnerete the hunter has another quest that he would like to take credit for doing. NEW SIDE QUEST: Royal Pip From: Big Game Hunter Reward: Ice bazooka How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll have to travel to the blood mountains. Head west along the tracks until you see a small camp of orques. From here head south down the path. The first thing you'll see is a small group of pips, one of which (a big white one) is the pip king. Kill him and collect his head. Of course the big game hunter is the type of guy who's always got something else to kill, que next quest... NEW SIDE QUEST: Nice Rack From: Big Game Hunter Reward: 300 machine gun (sigh) How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll need to return to the Dark Forest. In the cave north of Rich Cabin you'll find the bearalope sire. Kill him and take his antlers to the hunter. Once again the hunter requests you kill yet another beast. NEW SIDE QUEST: Just the Tip From: Big Game Hunter Reward: Terrible Lizard Chestpiece How to Accomplish: You'll have to travel all the way back to the Destroyed City for this one. The tenticle monster is south of the Destroyed City and just north of where the zappers are located. Once it pops up kill it collect it's tip and return it to the hunter. Finally, he has now had you kill all the things he's always wanted to kill. You can now move on to Lawrences quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Enlisted Help From: Lawrence of the Desert Reward: Terrible lizard gloves How to Accomplish: Apparently recruite means kill because thats what you do. Head south from Lawrence and you'll find a small camp filled with ghouls. Kill them to collect their fingers and return to lawrence. And since thats all you have to do for him we'll go ahead and knock out the spelunker quest. Remember to use the blasting cap in the cave to collect the sample. Just use it anywhere in the cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Desert Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave. Well that was easy, let's see what this hermit wants. Oh, he has a mighty quest for us. Well, not a quest persay, he basically tells us to go get killed and leave him alone. Who knew a hermit could be such a jerk. Of course Deathspank, being the do-gooder that he is, takes it as a quest... NEW SIDE QUEST: The Most Dangerous Creature From: Hermit Reward: None (That's right, when you assume someone is giving you a quest when they're not they don't usually reward you). How to Accomplish: Kill the hideous stinker and bring it's head to the hermit. You'll find it northwest of Worten's. It'll be a bit before we can kill this mighty beast. So let's head on down the tracks. First person you see will be the engineer again, turns out these blockage things are a constant threat to the railroad. Nearby, to the northwest of the engineer, is the thongolith of Cuisine that you needed to run tests on. West of that is the Cactus Forest and another cave. Once again this is one of the cave the prospector wants you to check out so use your blasting cap inside. NEW SIDE QUEST: Cactus Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dynamite Shuffle From: Engineer Reward: $14,200 How to Accomplish: Your best bet here is to scout your way through the blood mountains until you come to a bunch of people. Once you've discovered the shack outhouse take it back to the red orques outhouse, get the dynamite, take the red orques outhouse to the shack outhouse, head noth to the tracks follow them to the blockage and give the dynamite to the Conductor. But, be quick about it as the dynamite has a short fuse. Now that the blockage is cleared you can find out what all those people want. NEW SIDE QUEST: Spare Change From: Man Missing His Money Reward: $19,520 How to Accomplish: Head back along the path you came from and kill the green shirted orques there. Then head North to the small orque camp you saw earlier and kill them. This should give you all the money you need. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pass the Pan From: Prospecter Dude Reward: $16,800 How to Accomplish: The Monks are the ones that have his pan, and are North of the engineer that is further west down the tracks. You'll need to complete the deputies quest in order to anger the monks so you can kill them and loot the pans from their persons. NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Jacking From: Stagecoach Driver Reward: Plate Chest of Siding How to Accomplish: Head further west down the tracks till you come to an engineer. Once you do, begin walking south down the nearby path. This path will lead you into the Blue Basin Orque camp. You'll see a stage coach sitting in the camp, you can't miss it. Interact with it to recover it. Then return it to the stage coach driver NEW SIDE QUEST: Now With Wings! From: Damsel Reward: Gloves of Siding How to Accomplish: When you enter the Blue Basin Orque camp you'll see the feminine products littering the ground. Gather them up and return them to the damsel. In this camp you can also find the gunslinger gloves for the Strumfuquel Sheriff and the trillion dollar bill for the Strumfuquel Banker. Both of which are dropped by the orque chief there. Once you complete these you may as well turn them in. In fact the banker will reward you with another quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Foreclosure From: Banker Reward: $32,400 How to Accomplish: Post the foreclosure signs at each of the 9 strumfuquel mortgage houses. PLACES TO FORECLOSE: 1. Eisenbiens Residence- North of Beaux Kuckelle 2. Ima and Strunken's Farm- North of Destroyed City 3. Hanna Haybenstance's House- South of the Monistery 4. Haunted Farm- East of Strumfuquel 5. Strumfuquel House- North end of Strumfuquel 6. Lawrences Hut- west of Big Game Hunter 7. Railway Shack- Near the Shack outhouse 8. Burnt Up House- Sierra Mountains south of Lewis Clark 9. House in Le Beaux- West of the General in Le Beaux Not all of these are accesable now, but you can do several of them if you wish. Now go back to the shack outhouse and follow the tracks further west. Speak with the engineer you come across to get his quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Acid Reflux From: Engineer Reward: Venomous gloves How to Accomplish: Once he hands you the acid there is no time for anything but running it down the tracks. So thats what you do run west down the tracks, ignoring the robots in your way, and give the acid to the conductor. The acid will start to take chunks out of your health, so use a health potion if you need to, just to be safe. Once you've help desolve the troublesome boulder you'll notice a sign to the north which reads Worton's. Next to this sign is the deputy you need to talk to. He needs you to enforce the law for him. NEW SIDE QUEST: Eviction Notice From: The Deputy Reward: $16,800 How to Accomplish: Head east down the tracks until you see a rocky road to the north near the engineer platform. Follow this path and you'll soon come to a temple plagued with peace loving monks. Yuck!! To the far right is a sign upon which you can place the eviction notice. This of course will drive the peacful monks to acts of violent violence. Once you've rained justice upon the monks pios heads and collected the prospecting pans that drop you can turn those quests in respectively. If you keep heading north past the factory you'll come across the spelunker again. NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal of Blood. From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Enter the cave to the west and retrieve the crystal. On your way to the cave you'll have to fight the legendary hideous stinker. Once you kill it you'll recieve not only it's head but also an Undeath Shovel runestone. This cave is one of the caves you need to get a sample from so drop your blasting cap and look out. Also, inside the cave is one of the mutinous pirates you need to kill. By now you should definitely be able to kill him off. Outside the cave is the Sad Widow's Crazy Husband. You know the one she wanted you to find. Well, he's not to keen on returning to his wife. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rio Loco From: Crazy Husband Reward: Shoulders of the Golden Lion How to Accomplish: Enter the cave and kill the queen, she'll drop the keepsake you need. Return to the Haunted Farm and give it to the sad widow. Well I guess she took that well. While your out and about return to the hermit with the stinker head he didn't ask you to get. Suprised you didn't die, the hermit sends you off to get a well guarded idol from the Jungle. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Temple of Idol-ness From: Hermit Reward: Unsafe gloves OBJECTIVE- Head to the jungle and find an idol to return to the hermit. How to Accomplish: You may remember earlier that there was a lever you couldn't use in the jungle cave. Well you can go there now and use it. At first there will only be three guards (which hardly seems "well guarded") but once you pull the lever a small army of them will come. Once you despatch the guards head across the now bridged gap and get the idol. Return it to the hermit for your reward. Have some justice ready to go and a health potion handy. Now he'll tell you once again to get lost. Which of course Deathspank takes as a challenge quest to lose himself. WOW!! NEW SIDE QUEST: Intro to Existentialism From: Hermit Reward: None How to Accomplish: Leave. Go. Go AWAY. Leave the hermit ALONE. With those quests complete there's nothing left to do but enter Worten's factory. Of course the secretary will stop you as soon as you enter. Turns out it's difficult to make an appointment to see Worten. Now if only I were an employee. NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Birthday Song From: Secretary Reward: $8.50 an hour with benifits after a year How to Accomplish: Talk to Tina at her taco stand in Strumfuquel. She'll only sell you the birthday cake special if it's your birthday. You can use the library card as ID but it has to have todays date on it. To find out the date pick up a newspaper from the newspaper stand outside the Haunted Crotch in Strumfuquel. If you're library card does not display the correct date you can change it at the Le Beaux Kuckelle library. Then return to Tina who will begrudgingly sing you the birthday song. Remember it and sing it to the secretary afterwards. NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Drug Test From: Secretary Reward: The comfy knowledge that your drug free How to Accomplish: In the southern most part of the factory you'll see a door to the infirmary, inside is the drug-testing machine. At this point you know what to do. NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Uniform From: Secretary Reward: Fitting in with the crew How to Accomplish: In the eastern end of the factory you'll see the breakroom door. Enter and take the vest off of the corkboard. You'll need to collect 6 pieces of flair from the torn vests that the orque ninjas drop. Combine them in your inventory. While inside the factory be sure to get a scan of the mark-7 robots. When your in Le Beaux Kuckelle to change your library card turn in the quest to Lucy Eisennein. NEW SIDE QUEST: Destroy the Tricore-7 From: Lucy Eisenbein Reward: Free the enslaved robots How to Accomplish: Go to the Tricore-7 in the Dark Forest. Place the programmed crystal on the ground near the tricore-7. Then, kill mark 6 robots in the area. The discharge from them will damage the Tricore-7. Make sure to kill the healer bots as well. Once you've got the uniform, the song and the drug test report head back to the secretary. She'll give you a swipe card you need to access the restricted area of the factory. This area is full of traps to avoid such as pumping pistons, a burning floor room, and a area where condiments drop on your head. Once you pass these areas the door to wortens kitchen will be before you. When you enter you'll see worten before you. After you talk to her you'll find out what her secret ingrediant is. Once you are enightened (or disgusted) the battle will begin. First, before you fight you'll have to return to the Le Beaux library and check out the book how to speak Japanese which will also give you a trophy. Now, return to the arena and speak with the Japanese judge. He'll tell you his favorite foods which you then tell to your adopted orphan daughter what to get. she'll put them in the oven and out comes the dish. Give it to the judge and he'll order his ninjas to attack Worten. After a brief fight she'll fall. Sandy will show up with a package and a cutscene for you. You'll also get the Ice Jackhammer Runestone and the liquor license. Take the liquor license to the Haunted Crotch to get some rum, and you can finally get that pirate ship you akways wanted. (Bk's thoughts on the chef: Easy as hell, I was level 19 and using Shank's mega chainsaw. Don't know if cooking matters, I didn't do the Japanese quest before fighting Worten, but it's a good idea to. If you didn't, don't worry, you can still learn japanese afterwards. I didn't really see her use any special moves.) ============================================================================== Part 3: The fall of Santa Claus ====================================================================[DS204]=== After the fight you'll get another cutscene, as well as the Ice Jackhammer runestone. You'll also get a liquor liscense, meaning you can finally get rum! You will also get a new side quest from Sandy. Use the nearby warp to exit. NEW SIDE QUEST: I'm Sick of Deliveries From: Sandy Reward: Nothing How to accomplish: Take the package to the thongolith researcher in Strumfuquel. Well, we might as well go to Strumfuquel to deliver the package and get our rum. If you haven't gone west of Worten's yet, go ahead and check it out now. You'll also discover Lewis Clark (witty) needs some help. NEW SIDE QUEST: Gone With the Rain From: Lewis Clark Reward: Unsafe Helmet How to accomplish: You'll find the items scattered throughout the Sierra Mountains, so just explore a bit. A bit south from Lewis you can find another foreclosure... well what's left of it anyway. This should be your last forecloser house, if you're missing any, check the list by the quest name (The quest name is Foreclosure). Make sure to grab the TNT while your at it. You can find Lewis's supplies scattered around this large area, so just explore and grab them all up. You'll also run into the spelunker again (what is this, the dozenth time?) who will, of course, have a quest for you. NEW SIDE QUEST: Sierra Mountains Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. Well, when you're ready, go talk to the engineer, and you'll get a cool cutscene as well as the "well-educated" trophy. You'll also have made a path through the mountain. Good job! There's also a french flag holder nearby, so grab it. The area in the cave is a tribute to all the people at hothead games who made Deathspank. And yes, you can kill them. But why would you want to do that??? Ok, now lets go get our pirate ship. Yes! About time, right? Well, we can only get on and off at docks, but now we can explore quite a bit. Oh, before I forget, you can also visit the library to learn japanese and get another trophey (and a cool cutscene). NOTE: I also had over $2,000,000 dollars at this point, so I bought the last two runestones from the weapon shop. They are: Flaming Tomahawk (fire weapon / tomahawk) Ice Tomahawk (ice weapon / tomahawk) We have some options on what to do, since the ocean is a fairly big place. You can do several of the side quests now, such as the parrot parts, since chicken island is a short ways north of Scurvyville. Skeleton Island, with the generic pirate treasure, is also nearby to the west. Greem Island is also to the west, it's the bigger one. You can kill the final queen greem there. There's also a cliche island betwen chicken island and greem island, that has a dead man and a treasure chest. Sailing north east you'll notice shamrock island, which doesn't have anything worth noting besides an outhouse, and than another island a bit further north east which has the island cave and a quest from the spelunker. NEW SIDE QUEST: Island Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. And that's the last we'll see of the spelunker. The island north of here is frost island, where we can do Strunken's frost giant poop quest. Now we may as well go visit the island to the far west, which is spider island. There's another outhouse here as well as a pirate to kill and a french flag to plant. Also, sail south of spider island to find an island not on the map that's yet another tribute to the hot head games staff. You can kill the orcs and get another outhouse here. For turning in the map to Cpt. Taint you'll get a new quest. NEW SIDE QUEST: Taint's Treasure From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Petty cash How to accomplish: Sail to X island and take out the mutinous pirate captain. Well, after that you should be done with all your side quests, leaving us with three main quest. Now let's map the north pole, just use the ship to sail around it and hit all the buoy's, than report to the Army General. You'll now have a new main quest, which you might as well do know since we have nothing else to do (you have the option of talking to the general whenever you want to storm the north pole). NEW MAIN QUEST: Storm the North Pole From: Army General Reward: Access to the north pole How to accomplish: Talk to the Army General. Well, poor soldiers... they die so needlessly. Anyway, after the cutscene you'll be at the north pole, where you can chop down the orcs and do the last thongolith researcher quest. You might as well do the thongolith quest now, as the reideer pens are blocked off for now. Head north to meet Santa Claus. After that you'll be in a new location with a new quest. NEW MAIN QUEST: Muffle The Mirth From: Storyline Reward: Stop Santa from knocking you out. How to accomplish: Hit levers 1 and 3 to find the exit. Well, this place is fun. Full of Santa's letters and no way out. Well, ok, the no way out is a lie, as all you have to do is hit levers 1 and 3 to make a bridge to the cell with a door, leading to the reindeer fields. You can hit other combinations to get potions if you wish. Head north and take out Santa's sleigh team. Rudolph has some charging moves and a nose-laser, but should be no challenge for you. Afterwards equip the ear muffs and head over to Santa again. You'll now have to face Santa's coal monster, which fight like a ice giant from the ice dungeon, so just block and hit until you get it down to half-health. When it's around half health it will sprout flames and send out burning embers which act like bombs, so equip your best ice weapon and finish it off. Afterwards Deathspank will make Santa-ka-bob and Sandy will reclaim the thong, telling you to go to her secret base to have all revealed to you. NEW MAIN QUEST: Secret Base From: Sandy Reward: Access to the secret base. How to accomplish: Take the mini thongolith to the thongolith researcher and than use the mini outhouse out of your items menu. Well, once you show the thongolith research the mini thongolith, he will give you a teleporting outhouse that will take you to... the moon?!? Apparently the secret base is on the moon. Huh... Here, take the path to the left to find an armor set from the future as well as a Zero G fire extinguisher. You can use it to put out the Zero G fire, of course, next to the thongolith of peace. Keep heading north and fight your way past the space marines (take THAT, Halo!) until you get to Sandy. This leads to one very big decision... Do you let Sandy kill you, or do you fight? Choose whichever choice you want, there is no "wrong" answer. If you fight, you'll go up against Sandy. She will teleport around and smack you. She can also call in space marines, turtles with bombs strapped to them, and a UFO to rain fire down upon you. The space marines should be laughable to you by now, especially if you have the Mammoth Ice Tusk. Kill the turtles with your ray gun, and just run away from the UFO. Keep hitting Sandy with your best weapons (preferably the Mammoth Ice Tusk) and she will fall. Whichever ending you choose, congrats on beating Deathspank: Thongs of Virtue. You can restart the game to do the ending that you did not choose, as well as get the tail of two endings trophy. ============================================================================== (Optional Area) The Snowy Mountain Dungeon ====================================================================[DS205]=== The Snowy Mountain Duengeon came with the game if you bought it right away, as it was bundled in with Tannako the Spider Warrior. It's located east of the Snowy Mountain outhouse and is definitely meant for higher level players. After playing through it twice, I definitely know my way around. The first time I went in solo, and was around level 15. The second time I was playing with Thnikaman and we were around level 13. For doing in solo, level 15 is pretty good. You'll level up quickly and find some of the best armor and weapons in the game, and you'll even be able to equip them early with Eubrick's cards, which is good since there's a kick-ass fire weapon that you can equip at level 18 (16 with Eubrick's help). I forget the fire weapon's name, but it's the one with the arm holding the dagger! Since most of the enemies in this dungeon are ice-based, having this weapon and being able to use it is a must. When going in at level 13, even with Tannako at my side, the going was ROUGH. We died quite a few times, but leveled up fast and got those good weapons. Besides the regular enemies, there's only two enemies of note. The first is Neopolitin, who seems to guard a gate behind him. He tries to freeze you in place and can summon small spiders to help him out. Keep moving when you can and use your best fire-based attacks. Once you defeat him, you'll have to face the Taking Tree. He CONSTANTLY shoots spells at you while occasionally summoning a regular enemies to fight you. Alone, I killed off the enemies and hit the tree with my best weapons while blocking when I was expecting the tree to shoot. The tree shoots at regular intervals and is pretty easy to dodge. You'll want some good food and potions for this part, of course. With two players, one can take care of the enemies while the other wails on the tree. True, both players will have to take care and watch out for the tree's spells. But boy, it's nice to have Tannako webbing enemies up and getting so much health back. So, my advice is to go in at around level 14-15 and get those awesome fire and ice weapons, as well as the artic explorer armor. ============================================================================== Quest List =====================================================================[DS03]=== **MAIN QUESTS** NEW MAIN QUEST: Escape the POW Camp From: Storyline Reward: Um, escaping? How to Accomplish: Um, fight your orque captors! Just keep going and you'll finish this quest. NEW MAIN QUEST: Make an Escape Plan From: Storyline Reward: FREEDOM (What, you wanted a cookie?) How to Accomplish: Talk to your fellow POW's, they might have something interesting to say. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Orque Gloves/Boots/Shoulder/Vest/Helmet From: POW Soldier 1 (American) Reward: A charming new set of orquish diggs How to Accomplish: Once you go through the gate leaving the camp head north on the road. Kill jungle beasts for the clothes they ate. Be carefull of the big beasts as they spawn a group of smaller ones when they die. Be sure to equip the orque clothes. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Write With From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: One step closer to escape How to Accomplish: East of the camp you'll find some wooden walkways with some interrigator chickens on them. Kill all the chickens and keep heading east until you find a rather large one. Kill him and recieve a quill. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Use as Ink From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: Even closer to escape... How to Accomplish: Travel north to where all the jungle beasts are, then head west into the jungle. Here you'll be attacked by jungle squid tenticles. Fight your way further west and you'll see a much larger tenticle. Kill this and it will drop some ink. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Paper to Write On From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: Two steps closer to escape How to Accomplish: Continue north from where you fought the squids and you'll come to a rather disgusting place filled with latrene goo's, thats right it's a latrene. Once you have killed all of the smaller goos attck the big one. Once it is dead you'll recieve some toilet paper. NEW MAIN QUEST: Forge Orque ID From: POW soldier 2 (British) Reward: A falsified ID for clubing and crossing drawbridges How to Accomplish: Combine the pen with the ink and the inked pen with the paper in your inventory. NEW MAIN QUEST: Learn the Secret Password From: POW soldier 3 (French) Reward: Secret and forbidden knowledge of liberation How to Accomplish: As you approach the latrene you'll hear two orques talking to each other about how much they hate their detail. One of them is occupying the outhouse. This is when you learn that gnomes when eaten in exccess causes constipation. The other orque being the good guy that he is helps his friend relax by telling him their soothing password "and the mighty Orque Barks Back". NEW MAIN QUEST: Get Across the POW Bridge From: POW soldier 1 (American) Reward: Um... you get across the bridge How to Accomplish: Once your fully decked out in orque garb, have combined the pen ink and toilet paper, and you've committed the password to memory, go east of the control point and begin a dialog with the orque bridge guard. After you've proven your Orqiness you'll be allowed to pass. NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Cuisine From: Sandy Reward: A mighty thong How to accomplish: Kill Worten, the cook. Keep playing, you'll have to do this one. NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Generosity From: Sandy Reward: A mighty thong How to accomplish: Kill.... Santa?!? Sniff... Keep playing, you'll have to do this one. NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Compassion From: Sandy Reward: A mighty thong How to accomplish: Kill the nun with a thousand names. Keep playing, you'll have to do this one. NEW MAIN QUEST: Recon the Comm From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Oddly warm gloves How to accomplish: Find the comm tower to the west of the outpost. NEW MAIN QUEST: Radio Signals From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Oddly warm boots How to accomplish: Quick! Run the dynamite to the tower. I suggest you kill the orque's around it first. NEW MAIN QUEST: Behind Enemy Lines From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Flaming monocle runestone How to accomplish: Head west of the blown-up comm tower and kill Col. Orque. NEW MAIN QUEST: Mega Bomb From: Outpost soldier (navy docks) Reward: Greatest generation shoulders How to accomplish: Use the bazooka to blow up the bomb past the bridge. NEW MAIN QUEST: Map out the North Pole From: Army General Reward: Molten warfare helm How to accomplish: Sail by the buoy's around the North Pole. NEW MAIN QUEST: Chunk of Gold From: Army General Reward: Molten warfare gloves How to accomplish: Take the heart of gold from Madame Primp in Strumfuquel. You'll need to get her to change her costume and than try and open the odd chest in her room. Make sure you have the right key from the locksmith. NEW MAIN QUEST: Gun Parts From: Army General Reward: Bazooka How to accomplish: Collect the gun parts scattered around the catacombs that you access from the Sanctuary. NEW MAIN QUEST: Lower the Orque Drawbridge From: Storyline Reward: Access to the bridge How to accomplish: Go northeast from the destroyed city and around to the peninsula to find a lever that will let you across the bridge. NEW MAIN QUEST: Find a Detour From: Storyline Reward: Access to new areas. How to accomplish: Keep playing, you'll complete this automatically. NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Compassion From: Thongolith researcher Reward: Great white north gloves How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of compassion and fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Cuisine From: Thongolith researcher Reward: Desperadic gloves How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of cuisine and fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised. NEW MAIN QUEST: Lemon From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Falchion How to accomplish: Get the lemons from Strunkens farm, nortwest of the Destroyed City. NEW MAIN QUEST: Keys to the Ship From: Cpt. Taint Reward: A ship! How to accomplish: Get the keys from Plaid Pete. You'll need the rum and lemons before you get the ship, though. NEW MAIN QUEST: Rum From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Hammer of Frozen Dooms How to accomplish: Kill Worten to be able to buy rum from Strumfuquel. NEW MAIN QUEST: Enter the Catacombs From: Plotline Reward: Entrance to the catacombs How to accomplish: You need to burn five forbidden books in the sanctuary room. One is given to you right off the bat. you can find three more in the library in Le Beaux. The last one you need to get from Mr. Frangtrangle, who is past the Tricore-7 robot. NEW MAIN QUEST: Open The Gate To The West From: Storyline Reward: Access to the west How to Accomplish: Kill the nun. NEW MAIN QUEST: White Bandito Blockade From: Approaching the blockade Reward: Passage into Stumfuquel How to Accomplish: Complete the damsel and stage coach driver quests. NEW MAIN QUEST: Nitro Run From: Engineer Reward: Terrible Lizard helm How to Accomplish: Before accepting this quest head south along the tracks and kill the fire ants there. Then return to the engineer get the Nitroglycerine and take it south to the conductor. NEW MAIN QUEST: Liquor License From: Grimtub Hobblepotty Reward: The ability to purchase Rum as well as other potables. How to Accomplish: You'll get Grimtub's Liscence after killing Worten. NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Birthday Song From: Secretary Reward: $8.50 an hour with benifits after a year How to Accomplish: Talk to Tina at her taco stand in Strumfuquel. She'll only sell you the birthday cake special if it's your birthday. You can use the library card as ID but it has to have todays date on it. To find out the date pick up a newspaper from the newspaper stand outside the Haunted Crotch in Strumfuquel. If you're library card does not display the correct date you can change it at the Le Beaux Kuckelle library. Then return to Tina who will begrudgingly sing you the birthday song. Remember it and sing it to the secretary afterwards. NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Drug Test From: Secretary Reward: The comfy knowledge that your drug free How to Accomplish: In the southern most part of the factory you'll see a door to the infirmary, inside is the drug-testing machine. At this point you know what to do. NEW MAIN QUEST: T.G.I.W Uniform From: Secretary Reward: Fitting in with the crew How to Accomplish: In the eastern end of the factory you'll see the breakroom door. Enter and take the vest off of the corkboard. You'll need to collect 6 pieces of flair from the torn vests that the orque ninjas drop. Combine them in your inventory. NEW MAIN QUEST: Storm the North Pole From: Army General Reward: Access to the north pole How to accomplish: Talk to the Army General. NEW MAIN QUEST: Muffle The Mirth From: Storyline Reward: Stop Santa from knocking you out. How to accomplish: Hit levers 1 and 3 to find the exit. NEW MAIN QUEST: Secret Base From: Sandy Reward: Access to the secret base. How to accomplish: Take the mini thongolith to the thongolith researcher and than use the mini outhouse out of your items menu. **SIDE QUESTS** NEW SIDE QUEST: Disgruntled Delivery From: Sandy Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Deliver the package to the Army General up north in Le Beaux. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Plan From: Cowardly soldier Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Take the plans to the Army General in Le Beaux Kuckelle. NEW SIDE QUEST: Melon Protection From: Outpost soldier (navy docks) Reward: Undeath grenade How to accomplish: Buy the soldier a new helmet from Poque LaTere's Armory in Le Beaux Kuckelle. NEW SIDE QUEST: Use an Outhouse From: Storyline Reward: Learning how to teleport? How to accomplish: Simply warp to the outpost soldiers via an outhouse. NEW SIDE QUEST: Find the Taint From: Poque Latete Reward: Well, you get to meet a pirate. How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Captain Taint, in Scurvyville. NEW SIDE QUEST: Off To Farmer Blizbane From: Poque Latete Reward: Minor crit. Potion How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Farmer Blizbane, who lives north of Le Beaux Kuckelle. NEW SIDE QUEST: For the War Effort From: General's assistant Reward: Spinning tomahawk How to accomplish: Collect 50 pieces of scrap metal. These are scattered about and drop from killing orques. NEW SIDE QUEST: Marching Orders From: General's assistant Reward: Undeath sword How to accomplish: Deliver the marching orders to the captain at the navy docks (complete after the Dammit! quest). NEW SIDE QUEST: Odd Looking Chest From: Locksmith Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Examine the odd looking chest north of Le Beaux. NEW SIDE QUEST: Vacuum Tubes From: Radio host Reward: Incendiary grenade How to accomplish: Destroy robots for the vacuum tubes at the Eisenbein residence. NEW SIDE QUEST: Lost Father From: Lucy Eisenbein Reward: Undeath grenade How to accomplish: You'll find Lucy's father past Tricore-7, stuck in a cage. NEW SIDE QUEST: Mercy From: Town medic Reward: Fire axe 2: Hot Steele How to accomplish: Retrieve medical supplies from the Sanctuary. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dammit! From: Storyline Reward: Undeath bazooka How to accomplish: Find the thieving orc south of the first broken wooden bridge and kill him. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil for the Ship From: Navy captain Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Retrieve 10 oil barrels from the eisenbein house north of Le Beaux. The captain will leave a note telling you he's at the dock near the jungle in the east. NEW SIDE QUEST: Photojournalism From: Radio host Reward: Minor healing potion How to accomplish: Use the camera to take pictures by the lights arouhd the Destroyed City. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rampaging Robots From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: Orb of brief invulnerability How to accomplish: Kill rampaging farm robots for Farmer Blizbane. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pesky Skeletons From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: Heck from heaven How to accomplish: Kill skeletons and bring their thigh bones to Farmer Blizbane. NEW SIDE QUEST: Manure Matters From: Strunken Reward: Help from heaven How to accomplish: When you fight jungle donkey's in the Scurvy Jungle, collect their dung and give it to Strunken. NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the Lost Jungle From: Greem exterminator Reward: Calvary sword of super carving How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the jungle mating stone and defeat the greem queen. NEW SIDE QUEST: On the Air From: Radio host Reward: Machine gun How to accomplish: Fix the five radio towers scattered around Farmer Blizbane's property. NEW SIDE QUEST: Shoot the Recruits From: Outpost soldier (by field outhouse) Reward: Minor healing potion How to accomplish: Kill the giant pips in the snowy mountains and collect their teeth. NEW SIDE QUEST: Heart of Darkness From: Radio host Reward: Help from Heaven How to accomplish: <eet with Scoop the Reporter. You can find him in the Jungle, near the south. (Or use the Jungle Outhouse). NEW SIDE QUEST: Thighbone Delivery From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: Orb of invulnerability How to accomplish: Take the thighbones to the demon witch north west of the Sanctuary. NEW SIDE QUEST: Save the Seamen From: Navy Captain Reward: Poison bazooka How to accomplish: Rescue the seamne from the jungle greem camp NEW SIDE QUEST: Scoop's Secret Story From: Scoop Reward: Minor crit potion How to accomplish: Take the story to the radio host in Le Beaux. NEW SIDE QUEST: Jungle Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Very easy, like all the spelunker's quest. Go into the cave to get the crystal for him. NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the High Plains From: Greem exterminator Reward: War hammer How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the high plains greem mating stone and kill the queen NEW SIDE QUEST: Embattlements go Boom From: Navy Captain Reward: Hunting sword How to accomplish: Use the C4 to destroy the four orque trooper embattlements that you have fought through already. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rocky Path Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Get the crystal from the rocky path cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate's Best Friend From: Insecure pirate Reward: Major Stealth Potion How to accomplish: Finds some parrots on chicken island for the pirate. NEW SIDE QUEST: Treasure Map From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Feeling heroic? How to accomplish: Find the captains mutinous pirate members: 1. In Scurvyville Jungle 2. East of Scoop, in the Jungle 3. Past Hanna's house, by the UFO 4. By the Crazy Husband Spelunker Cave 5. On spider island NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate Without A Cause From: Treasureless pirate Reward: Grenade How to accomplish: Bring back a generic treasure for the tresureless pirate from skeleton island. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pour Le Roi et Le Pays From: French pirate person Reward: Epic chest of awesomeness How to accomplish: Plant the 10 french flags across the world. Find the "Stand de Drapequ"'s around the world. 1. East of Scurvyville 2. By the Sanctuary 3. Fort discharge 4. Sierra mountains (as far west as you can go) 5. By the Oasis 6. By Worten's 7. Outside of Worten's 8. Spider Island 9. Strumfuquel 10. Dino graveyard. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Droppings From: Strunken Reward: Poison club the second How to accomplish: Kill a tyrannoraptor for its dung. It is located in the dino graveyard. NEW SIDE QUEST: Snowy Mountain Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. NEW SIDE QUEST: A Silent Quest From: Frozen monk Reward: Shank's Mega-Bloody Motor-Saw How to accomplish: Kill the Taking Tree at the end of the Dungeon. NEW SIDE QUEST: Feed the Salmonella Ghoul From: The Salmonella Ghoul Reward: Help from heaven How to accomplish: Lure a stoopid chicken from the Sanctuary to the Salmonella Ghoul. Yummy. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rub It In From: Rich Cabin Reward: War Hammer How to accomplish: Give the magazine to Derek Oil, in his estate west of Strumfuquel. NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal in the Dark From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. NEW SIDE QUEST: Make a Wish From: The talking well by Hanna's place Reward: Minor Healing Potion How to accomplish: Rind wishing coins to give to the talking well. You can give the well additional coins you find at anytime. NEW SIDE QUEST: Heroic Remains From: Hanna Reward: Poison Club How to accomplish: Find the tomb of the unknown ghoul slayer west of the dark forest outhouse. NEW SIDE QUEST: Do Bearalopes... In the Woods From: Hanna Reward: $240 How to accomplish: Kill bearalopes to get their droppings. Geesh, this game and droppings... You'll have to wait for the bearalopes to respawn to get all the droppings. NEW SIDE QUEST: Red Alien/ Green Alien From: Hanna Reward: Minor Stealth Potion How to accomplish: Kill red aliens and collect their goo behind Hanna's place. NEW SIDE QUEST: A Safe Return From: Green alien Reward: Ray gun How to accomplish: Recover the space ship parts from the red aliens. NEW SIDE QUEST: Magical Ward From: Hanna Reward: Command killer sword How to accomplish: Return to Farmer Blizbane NEW SIDE QUEST: Undead Commanders From: Farmer Blizbane Reward: $3960 How to accomplish: Use your new sword to kill the undead commanders. Finally, sweet vengence. NEW SIDE QUEST: Father in a Cage From: Dr. Eisbein Reward: Super soldier spade How to accomplish: Kill the mark 6 robots to finD the key punchcard. The robots are a little ways past Dr. Eisbein. NEW SIDE QUEST: Tricore-7 Plans From: Dr. Eisbein Reward: Undeath grenade How to accomplish: Warp to Le Beaux and talk to Lucy. NEW SIDE QUEST: Robot Scans From: Lucy Eisbein Reward: Minor Speed Potion How to accomplish: Scan a Mark-7 robot with the scanner Lucy gave to you. They can be found at Wortten's Factory. NEW SIDE QUEST: Cantankerous Delivery From: Sandy Reward: Revolver How to Accomplish: Deliver the package to the sheriff of Strumfuquel NEW SIDE QUEST: Neither Rain Nor Sleight... From: Stage Coach Driver Reward: 3 major stealth potion How to Accomplish: Travel North past the ghosts and skeletons ( remember your nature club for the ghosts) into the White Bandito's camp you'll find the mailbags scattered about their camp. NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Hats From: Damsel Reward: $11960 How to Accomplish: In the same White Bandito camp as well as on the road leading up to it you'll find the hats. You'll see them as the are hard to miss. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pretty, Pretty Hand From: Stage coach Driver Reward: Terrible Lizard boots How to Accomplish: Head back to the Bandito camp and kill the orque chief to get his hand and take it back to the coach driver. NEW SIDE QUEST: Ant Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Just get the crystal. However, be careful of the lvl 12 ants inside. NEW SIDE QUEST: From One Law Man to Another From: Stage Coach Driver Reward: 3 Major Healing Potions. How to Accomplish: Just go to Strumfuquel and deliver it to the sheriff. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rattler Snakeskin Boots From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel Reward: 8 grenades How to Accomplish: Go back to the white rock orque camp and kill orques until they drop the boots. NEW SIDE QUEST: Going Home From: Sad Widow Reward: 10 undeath grenades How to Accomplish: Once you speak with her take her east towards the haunted farm (the one north of the elevator), being careful not to get too far ahead. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Lost Husband From: The Sad Widow Reward: Chest of the Golden Lion How to Accomplish: The Husband is further down the western area, to the northwest of Worten's. NEW SIDE QUEST: Trillion Dollar Bill From: Banker Reward: 5 ice grenades How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Orque camp and kill the Orque chief there. NEW SIDE QUEST: Money Troubles From: Banker Reward: Fire resistance potion How to Accomplish: Deliver the theft report to Derrik Oil. NEW SIDE QUEST- Queen of Greem Island From: Greem Exterminator Reward: Orb of wicked invulerability How to Accomplish: Once you have a ship travel to Greem Island, kill the queen greem there and take her mating gland. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Waiting Deputy From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel Reward: Awesome armor potion How to Accomplish: Once you've completed all the quests in the Blue Basin Bandito camp to the west the blockade they put up will go down. Just on the other side of it to the North is the deputy. Deliver the warrant and evict those troublesome peace loving monks. NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Snowbellies From: Prospector Reward: Plate Shoulders of Siding How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Sandy Desert and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: Blood Mountain Bacon From: Prospector Reward: 5 poison grenades How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Blood Mountains and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Rashers From: Prospector Reward: Necklace of Use How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the dinosaur graveyard and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: Prickly Pork From: Prospector Reward: Gold Key How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Cactus Forest and use the blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample. NEW SIDE QUEST: 37.8 Liter Hat From: The Sheriff of Strumfuquel Reward: Venomous crown How to Accomplish: As you walk don the tracks you'll come across another blockade. Just south of this blockade is the red orque camp kill their chief and you'll get the hat. NEW SIDE QUEST: Tar Pit Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the tar pit crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Grave Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the grave crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Hand From: Derrik Oil Reward: Gold Key How to Accomplish: Return to the dino graveyard and kill some Raptors until they drop the parts. NEW SIDE QUEST: Wealthy Bastard From: Derrik Oil Reward: Awesome armor potion How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Proving His Worth From: Rich Cabin Reward: Poison grenades How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Banking and Gouging From: Derik Oil Reward: Promotional wristwatch How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Look who's Running Things From: Rich Cabin Reward: Calvery Sword of Mega Carving How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Financial Philistine From: Derik Oil Reward: Self winding pocketwatch How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Who's the Boss From: Rich Cabin Reward: Orb of undead might How to Accomplish: Return to Derik Oil with Rich's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Nouveau Riche From: Derik Oil Reward: Venomous boots How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine. NEW SIDE QUEST: Frozen Treats From: Strunken Reward: Great Axe How to Accomplish: Get frozen manure from the frost giant island, north of the Island cave. You'll need the ship for this. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Fixin's From: Derik Oil Reward: Ice Bazooka How to Accomplish: Just head south from Derik to find them, they're all over the tar pits. Fixing them will spawn oil monsters, so be ready. NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Monsters From: Derik Oil Reward: Incendiary Grenade How to Accomplish: Kill oil monsters in the tar pits and collect their bits. NEW SIDE QUEST: Big Oil Boss From: Derik Oil Reward: Awesome stealth potion How to Accomplish: Head to the oil cave in the eastern part of the tar pits. Once inside use the scented oil Derik gave you to draw her out. Once "she" comes out kill her, it's not very difficult. Gather her head and return to Derik Oil (though I'm not sure the oil monsters have heads). NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Jewelry From: Damsel Reward: Desperadic Helm How to Accomplish: Head west along the tracks until you reach the blockade. From here head south into the Red Renegade Bandito camp, the jewelry will be scattered about the camp. NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Wheels From: Stage Coach driver Reward: Venomous chest How to Accomplish: Kill orques in the Red Renegade orque camp and they will drop the wheels. NEW SIDE QUEST: Gunslinger Gloves From: Sheriff Reward: Boots of siding How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Bandito camp and kill their chief. NEW SIDE QUEST: Worm! From: Big Game Hunter Reward: 250 Sub Machine gun (pffft) How to Accomplish: You'll find the queen south of where Lawrence is standing just kill her and she'll drop the shell. NEW SIDE QUEST: Silk Road From: Big Game Hunter Reward: 5 Grenades (double pffft) How to Accomplish: In the southeastern corner of the desert you'll find the spider amongst some skeletons, just kill it and return to the hunter with the spinnerete. NEW SIDE QUEST: Royal Pip From: Big Game Hunter Reward: Ice bazooka How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll have to travel to the blood mountains. Head west along the tracks until you see a small camp of orques. From here head south down the path. The first thing you'll see is a small group of pips, one of which (a big white one) is the pip king. Kill him and collect his head. NEW SIDE QUEST: Nice Rack From: Big Game Hunter Reward: 300 machine gun (sigh) How to Accomplish: For this quest you'll need to return to the Dark Forest. In the cave north of Rich Cabin you'll find the bearalope sire. Kill him and take his antlers to the hunter. NEW SIDE QUEST: Just the Tip From: Big Game Hunter Reward: Terrible Lizard Chestpiece How to Accomplish: You'll have to travel all the way back to the Destroyed City for this one. The tenticle monster is south of the Destroyed City and just north of where the zappers are located. Once it pops up kill it collect it's tip and return it to the hunter. NEW SIDE QUEST: Enlisted Help From: Lawrence of the Desert Reward: Terrible lizard gloves How to Accomplish: Apparently recruite means kill because thats what you do. Head south from Lawrence and you'll find a small camp filled with ghouls. Kill them to collect their fingers and return to lawrence. NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Desert Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Most Dangerous Creature From: Hermit Reward: None (That's right, when you assume someone is giving you a quest when they're not they don't usually reward you). How to Accomplish: Kill the hideous stinker and bring it's head to the hermit. You'll find it northwest of Worten's. NEW SIDE QUEST: Cactus Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Get the crystal from the nearby cave. NEW SIDE QUEST: Dynamite Shuffle From: Engineer Reward: $14,200 How to Accomplish: Your best bet here is to scout your way through the blood mountains until you come to a bunch of people. Once you've discovered the shack outhouse take it back to the red orques outhouse, get the dynamite, take the red orques outhouse to the shack outhouse, head noth to the tracks follow them to the blockage and give the dynamite to the Conductor. But, be quick about it as the dynamite has a short fuse. NEW SIDE QUEST: Spare Change From: Man Missing His Money Reward: $19,520 How to Accomplish: Head back along the path you came from and kill the green shirted orques there. Then head North to the small orque camp you saw earlier and kill them. This should give you all the money you need. NEW SIDE QUEST: Pass the Pan From: Prospecter Dude Reward: $16,800 How to Accomplish: The Monks are the ones that have his pan, and are North of the engineer that is further west down the tracks. You'll need to complete the deputies quest in order to anger the monks so you can kill them and loot the pans from their persons. NEW SIDE QUEST: Stagecoach Jacking From: Stagecoach Driver Reward: Plate Chest of Siding How to Accomplish: Head further west down the tracks till you come to an engineer. Once you do, begin walking south down the nearby path. This path will lead you into the Blue Basin Orque camp. You'll see a stage coach sitting in the camp, you can't miss it. Interact with it to recover it. Then return it to the stage coach driver NEW SIDE QUEST: Now With Wings! From: Damsel Reward: Gloves of Siding How to Accomplish: When you enter the Blue Basin Orque camp you'll see the feminine products littering the ground. Gather them up and return them to the damsel. NEW SIDE QUEST: Foreclosure From: Banker Reward: $32,400 How to Accomplish: Post the foreclosure signs at each of the 9 strumfuquel mortgage houses. PLACES TO FORECLOSE: 1. Eisenbiens Residence- North of Beaux Kuckelle 2. Ima and Strunken's Farm- North of Destroyed City 3. Hanna Haybenstance's House- South of the Monistery 4. Haunted Farm- East of Strumfuquel 5. Strumfuquel House- North end of Strumfuquel 6. Lawrences Hut- west of Big Game Hunter 7. Railway Shack- Near the Shack outhouse 8. Burnt Up House- Sierra Mountains south of Lewis Clark 9. House in Le Beaux- West of the General in Le Beaux NEW SIDE QUEST: Acid Reflux From: Engineer Reward: Venomous gloves How to Accomplish: Once he hands you the acid there is no time for anything but running it down the tracks. So thats what you do run west down the tracks, ignoring the robots in your way, and give the acid to the conductor. The acid will start to take chunks out of your health, so use a health potion if you need to, just to be safe. NEW SIDE QUEST: Eviction Notice From: The Deputy Reward: $16,800 How to Accomplish: Head east down the tracks until you see a rocky road to the north near the engineer platform. Follow this path and you'll soon come to a temple plagued with peace loving monks. Yuck!! To the far right is a sign upon which you can place the eviction notice. This of course will drive the peacful monks to acts of violent violence. NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal of Blood. From: Spelunker Reward: Gold key How to Accomplish: Enter the cave to the west and retrieve the crystal. NEW SIDE QUEST: Rio Loco From: Crazy Husband Reward: Shoulders of the Golden Lion How to Accomplish: Enter the cave and kill the queen, she'll drop the keepsake you need. Return to the Haunted Farm and give it to the sad widow. NEW SIDE QUEST: The Temple of Idol-ness From: Hermit Reward: Unsafe gloves OBJECTIVE- Head to the jungle and find an idol to return to the hermit. How to Accomplish: You may remember earlier that there was a lever you couldn't use in the jungle cave. Well you can go there now and use it. At first there will only be three guards (which hardly seems "well guarded") but once you pull the lever a small army of them will come. Once you despatch the guards head across the now bridged gap and get the idol. Return it to the hermit for your reward. Have some justice ready to go and a health potion handy. NEW SIDE QUEST: Intro to Existentialism From: Hermit Reward: None How to Accomplish: Leave. Go. Go AWAY. Leave the hermit ALONE. NEW SIDE QUEST: Destroy the Tricore-7 From: Lucy Eisenbein Reward: Free the enslaved robots How to Accomplish: Go to the Tricore-7 in the Dark Forest. Place the programmed crystal on the ground near the tricore-7. Then, kill mark 6 robots in the area. The discharge from them will damage the Tricore-7. Make sure to kill the healer bots as well. NEW SIDE QUEST: I'm Sick of Deliveries From: Sandy Reward: Nothing How to accomplish: Take the package to the thongolith researcher in Strumfuquel. NEW SIDE QUEST: Gone With the Rain From: Lewis Clark Reward: Unsafe Helmet How to accomplish: You'll find the items scattered throughout the Sierra Mountains, so just explore a bit. NEW SIDE QUEST: Sierra Mountains Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. NEW SIDE QUEST: Island Crystal From: Spelunker Reward: Gold treasure chest key How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done. NEW SIDE QUEST: Taint's Treasure From: Cpt. Taint Reward: Petty cash How to accomplish: Sail to X island and take out the mutinous pirate captain. ============================================================================== Runestones =====================================================================[DS04]=== Here's a list of all of the game's runestones and how to use them, as well as where they can be found. Flaming Cavalry Use a melee fire weapon with a Cavalry Sword. Found at: Found inside the Dark Forest cave, behind Rich Cabin's place. Flaming Tomahawk Use a melee fire weapon with a Tomahawk. Found at: Any weapons store for $1,000,000 Ice Tomahawk Use a melee ice weapon with a Tomahawk. Found at: Any weapons store for $1,000,000 Ice Jackhammer Use a melee ice weapon with a Jackhammer. Found at: You get this runestone after defeating Worten. Undeath Shovel Use a melee undeath weapon with a Soldier Spade. Found at: Kill the Stinker northwest of Worten's (This quest comes from the Hermit at the Oasis). Undeath Railroad Use a melee undeath weapon with a Railroad Sledgehammer. Found at: Kill Plaid Pete for this runestone. Undeath Cavalry Use a melee undeath weapon with a Cavalry Sword. Found at: Kill the Big Poppa Dragon in the Snowy Mountain Cave. Nature Telsa Rod Use a melee nature weapon and a Telsa Rod. Found at: Find in a gold chest in the Snowy Mountain Cave. Poison Railroad Use a melee nature weapon and a Railroad Sledgehammer. Found at: You get this runestone after defeating Mr. Frangtrangle. Flaming Monocle Use a melee fire weapon and a Monocle. Found at: Complete the quest "Behind Enemy Lines" near the beginning of the game. ============================================================================== Trophies =====================================================================[DS05]=== Who doesn't like trophies? Here's all the trophies you can get in the game and our comments on the best way to do it! (This is for the PS3, of course, although I imagine the 360 has the same achievements). Orque Impostor (Bronze) ~ Convince an Orque Guard you are an Orque. You will get this one by just playing through the game. Death of a Penguin (Bronze) ~ Kill the Evil Nun. Another one you will get by playing through the game. Primp V.I.P (Bronze) ~ See all 20 of Madame Primp's Outfits. Make sure to visit Madame Primp and see all 20 of her costumes for this trophy. You gotta do this BEFORE you open her treasure chest. Well Educated (Bronze) ~ Get an Engineering Degree Talk to the Conductor to the far west in the Sierra Mountains for a cool cut-scene and this trophy. Raise Your Mast (Bronze) ~ Go Sailing in a Pirate Ship You'll get this one once you get the boat. You'll do this automatically as you play through the game's main missions. Konichiwa (Bronze) ~ Learn to speak Japanese After talking to the Japanese judge's at Worten's, the "Learn how to speak Japanese" book will be available in the library in Le Beaux. Check it out to get this trophy. Dispenser of Justice (Silver) ~ Kill 3000 enemies Well, I didn't get this one after playing through the whole game AND the DLC dungeon, so you may have to wander around the world killing enemies until you get this trophy. To Serve Man (Silver) ~ Kill Worten Another one you will get by playing through the game. A True Hero (Gold) ~ Reach Level 20 The best place to level in the game has to be the DLC frozen dungeon east of the Snowy Mountain outhouse. You can also find some high level enemies on the various Islands around the North Pole. Mystic Transport (Bronze) ~ Discover all 44 teleporting outhouses. These are easy to find, but you'll have to play the entire game to get them all. There is one that isn't on the map, which is south of spider island. Ruin Christmas (Silver) ~ Kill Santa Claus Another one you will get by playing through the game. A Tale of Two Endings (Silver) ~ Watch both game endings. You'll know when you have to make this choice. You can than restart the game (hit continue from the main menu) and make the second choice to get the trophey. Frozen Justice (Gold) ~ Kill the Taking Tree This is the end-boss of the DLC "Snowy Mountain" dungeon, just kill the Taking Tree to get the trophey. See the Snowy Mountain dungeon section if you need help/tips. ============================================================================== FAQ =====================================================================[DS06]=== Feel free to send any questions in to our email, just be civil and at least try to use the walkthrough before you ask. Since we didn't list the contents of every chest, I really can't help you find where to get such-and-such sword, or what monster drops what items, so keep that in mind. We'll post some FAQ's as soon as we get some. Hopefully you can find everything you need in the guide. ============================================================================== Credits and other ramblings =====================================================================[DS07]=== o Guide Related: DomZ for his Ascii Art at the top. Check out his site at: - http://www.freewebs.com/domz_ninja/asciiart.htm Brandon Davis for the lawmen reward! Thanks man! o Personal: Bkstunt: My wife Lisa and daughter Sadie. Also to the makers of Deathspank, you guys are hilarious. Can't wait to see what you make next! Thnikman: My wife for putting up with my late nights, Bkstunt for his part in the gig, and hothead for making such a glorious display of gamery. As I learned on my first walkthrough, copyrights are pretty silly for this kind of thing, so please, if you want to use this walkthrough on your site, simply ask us by emailing one of us above, and we'll more than likely say yes. ~FIN
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