Review by drunkgod

Reviewed: 11/02/04

It's not Contra... (Rent It First!!!)

Before I begin, I want to say that I played Contra on the NES and SNES everyday for 2 years. I'm a hardcore Contra fan, Up up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A B A selct start Contra fan. Me and all of my childhood friends could rip through all the NES and SNES Contras on 3 men probably without dying once even. The best things about old school Contra was the control, the gameplay was flawless. It allowed you to do amazing feats with a few quick turns. Contra also had memorable music, and the graphics t the time though not up to todays standards were still excellent to look at and non-confusing. Contra is the bible for all buddy shooter games, only Smash TV can hold a candle to the Contra series, and even then Smash TV is seriously outnumbered by 3 excellent examples of the contra series.

To me Konami has lost a lot after their logo change, all you hardcore Konami fans remember the intertwined Red and Orange L's of the Konami logo. When they dropped the yellow L it was like they lost the basic element of gameplay. All they have left now is the high production value and quality, but without gameplay quality means nothing. high production values mean nothing... The whole purpose of the game means nothing.

Konami dropped Snake for Raiden and now they are desecrating my favorite franchise, they already took a dump on Castlevania. I don't know what's next, I hope Gradius will redeem my view of the blasphemous new stance Konami has taken (crapping on all their best game titles.) Because I can't take another Metal Gear 2 or another Castlevania and definitely not another bad remake of the most awesomest franchise ever.

Now on with the review.

Graphics - 6 Not that bad
Not bad... Not good. Actually they kinda suck, the CGI is really low quality, the character design is awful and the nostalgia effect of some of the baddies may have worked their magic if the game itself didn't suck. The artwork in this game is so horrible that you wonder WTH were they thinking.

There are no effect glitches which means care was taken on the development front, so they have a really good team of programmers but the game itself looks horrid. It looks like they didn't have an art director or even a sense of what looks good at the very least.

Besides all this hooridness the graphics are confusing even though they tried to make it obvious that a giant missle is going to rain on your head or that your reflexes are so good that you can see bullets glowing in slow mow and heading towards you, the graphics were still fugly and confusing.

The camera is also annoying, why didn't they just borrow the Dark Allience over the head engine and put some effort in making gameplay and awe inspiring graphics to happen?

Also what's up with that spinning CD on the bottom righthand corner? Is it on crank?!

It's as if they didn't give a damn about what happened if they let some horrible character design go loose on the videogame world.

Conclusion. Horrible character design, horrible art direction, horrible camera angles, horrible use of a game engine. On the plus side the graphics are better than Smash TV, but not better than Super Contra which sucks for a PS2 release.

Sound - 2 Fugly Obnoxious and Annoying

Besides horrible music that they even took the time to put lyrics to. The soundtrack is horrible beyond what a drunken 80's power ballad down by a downright awful coverband could beelch out of their sour vomit as they spew chunks on center stage. The music needs to be switched to the OFF mode so that you don't stab your TV speakers in with a screw driver.

The Sound FX are also annoying and need to be turned down quite a lot. Actually just turn everything off this game freaking sucks and doesn't even deserve a full review.

Rating: 4

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