Review by Sagami
Reviewed: 11/01/99 | Updated: 11/01/99
But there's no Bowling Fresh Shoe Smell!
With a title that has the word "Animaniacs" in it, you'd think "Ah! A game witha good load of comic mischief! Great!" BUT, then it's followed up with thephrase "Ten Pin Alley". "Well, it could still have some fun factor in it." Nope.This game is so bad that not even appearances from Yakko, Wakko and Dot can saveit from the Things That Were Set on Fire Museum.
In the game, you can play as one of 10 characters, all from Animaniacs. Then,you pick your status, ball, and go bowl. That's the gist of it. Oh yeah, andBrain's trying to dominate the world somehow through bowling. What else is new?
Anyway, as you approach the freshly waxed lanes, you prep yourself for what willbe a dramatic shot. You tense up, rush forward, and send the ball gracefullydown the lane, careening into the pins. Yeah right. You move your character intoa preset spot, press X twice, and send the ball on a God-knows-what coursetowards those pins. The only way you can hit those pins is to either leave thosebumpers on or play the game for a year, leaving you babbling like an idiot butable to get a strike with no problem.
Now that it's been ripped apart, let's look at the game from the ratings scale:
GRAPHICS: 4/10 I will admit that the graphics are somewhat well done. Thecharacters do not look like a blocky mess, like that of Poy Poy. However, thesprites for each character have one expression. They look like they've been ina room where a canister of nitrous oxide was accidentally left open. Other thanthat, the graphics are lackluster. You have this simple lane where you throw around sprite at ten sort-of-realistic pins, and that's it.
SOUND: 3/10 Well...there's not exactly that much sound to go around. For eachcharacter, there's a brief little bit of music that plays as they prepare tosend the bowling ball down the lane. The stock sound barrel is used a lot inthis game, appealing to those who watch too much Warner Bros. stuff. However,something to do that can amuse you is on both the opening screen and selectionscreens. Move the cursor around a lot and you can be an impromptu song maker!What with random sound bites coming together to form a twisted medley, you canmake a selection that caps off your ballad with "You're crazy, turkey" or evenPinky's trademark laugh! More fun than the game itself!
PLOT: 1/10 Hmmm...Wakko, Yakko and Dot finally got sick of blowing up thingsand making devices to set off whoopee cushions, so they decided to go bowling.Coincidentally, everyone ended up going out and ending up at the same bowlingalley! Yay! Then, you bowl. Michael Crichton writes stories with good plotlines.The makers of this game have not.
GAMEPLAY: 1/10 Now here's the really big beef. As you play the game, you pressmaybe a maximum of three buttons. Ooh, challenge. Anyway, as you bowl, you haveto use some physics and trigonometry to be able to strike those pins resultingin a strike. And this game is designed for Everyone, the RSAC says. How the heckare 6 year olds supposed to hit those damn pins?! Anyway, no matter how good youare at aiming, it's still almost impossible to get through a game without gutteringat LEAST once. Finally, no matter what setting the computer is on, they'll alwaysseem to get that perfect spin and strength to send those pins flying while youmanage to drop the ball on your foot. Which reminds me, you can get some slightlyamusing clips of you hit the foul line.
REPLAY VALUE: 1/10 If you're too cheap to go to a bowling alley, this willsuit you just fine. But at bowling alleys, you can actually use skill. Forget thisand find your specially made bowling ball and use it for once. Those who actuallywant to play this game should send away for a New Bedlam entry form. The menin their clean white coats will be there for you in a jiffy.
BUY/RENT: NO. That's all I have to say. No. If you actually go out to buy thisgame, look at the bottom of the CD. The data is about 1/3 of the entire thing.That's how short it is. Don't blame me if the store clerk falls on the groundafter laughing at your choice.
OVERALL: 2/10 Once again, someone thought it would be funny to see cartooncharacters in a poorly made game. Well, I don't hear anybody laughing. Get theeto a bowling alley. Mmm...bowling fresh.
Rating: 1.0 - Terrible
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