Review by Millers C

Reviewed: 10/26/01 | Updated: 03/05/02

Buy it and you will be the laughing stock of your mates.

While the title sounds good, don’t be fooled. Developed by Microids, this game has tried to mould two genres, Football and Action Adventure. Sounds promising, doesn’t it? Well, yes it may, but you haven’t heard the whole story. Remember that advert where the World Class Soccer stars such as Cantona Kicked footballs around to stop an evil Darth Vader Replica? Yes, you’ve got it! To think that a games company would make a game based on a TV Commercial, It just boggles the mind!

The Graphics are not exactly brilliant, and that’s being kind. Your viewpoint is sort of a Street of rage style 3rd Person, as you watch yourself kick footballs. The Characters look woefully amateur, second grade NES? You betcha! Animation is worse than The Crow, and The Backgrounds are dull, wooden and Cheesy. The Ninjas of Football, you face look stupid. Darth Vader replicas, again. Terribly amateur. I don’t believe Microids spent any time trying to make the graphics decent, because they aren’t’.

The Story, is that The Merlin Ball, or something like that, has been Kidnapped, by the Ninjas of football, and it’s up to stars such as Edgar Davids and Eric Cantona to get it back. Woeful. Of course it is unclear why exactly the want the football and.. Oh why should I bother explaining, it’s awful. And to think the amount of money microids had to pay to these big names. They must have been mad.

The Shoddy and unnecessarily complicated control system is very unforgiving, and this leads to frustration and ultimately boredom. There can be up to two players on screen at a time, but this is ridiculously difficult, as one person goes off screen ETC. Lets not get on about the Collision detection. There isn’t any.

The game is not difficult. There is a variety in the players you can use in the game, as well as some rumoured hidden ones. You can use the brilliance of Cantona, Davids, Figo, del Piero and Andy Cole. Hmm. The game is still obviously balanced for a 10 year olds intellect and the simplicstic nature of the gameplay shows this. The Awful Playability makes you throw up, and you wont rally want to play it to the end.

The fact that the game was based on an ad was bad enough, but since it being revealed, the control system and ugliness and ridiculousness of this game render it virtually unplayable. Buy it and you will be the laughing stock of your mates.
A Very Bad day in gaming.

Rating:   0.5 - Unplayable

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