Review by Puppetmon
Reviewed: 04/23/01 | Updated: 04/23/01
Rice cakes up attributes and were around in the caveman days! According to this game anyway....
....I hate this game.
.....huh? Oh yeah..I'm supposed to write a full long review of this game huh? Fine. Well this is certainly one of the weirdest games I happen to own. How weird? You control various cavemen and run around kill mammoths to collect tusks to build a tower that reaches up to the sun. Of course several great games are weird, such as Vib Ribbon, however this game just seems to lack something. That undefinable something that can make or break a game..anyway onto the review itself.
Plot/Story- You play as a caveman from a large tribe and gather food for the other members, while trying to kill enough Mammoths to build a tower that goes to the sun. Well the games focus definitely isn't on it's ''plot'' so the lack of a good one can be forgiven rather easily..well could if the rest of the game was good enough to make up for it anyway.
Plot: 3 of 10 (Eh, it gets points for originality anyway...name one other game with a plot like THAT!)
Gameplay- Ah, as I've said the most important part of any game (Well..except for text based games that rely entirely on plot, but that's another story.). As stated the majority of the game is spent hunting down mammoths and gathering food for your tribe until your caveman/cavewoman dies, selecting a new caveman, and then repeating that. However, in order to actually add some gameplay to it you don't start off strong enough to go around killing the larger beasts such as mammoths. You first have to increase the stats of you and your fellow tribe members. Now then..how would you expect this to be accomplished? Well whatever you guessed your wrong. You gain stats by eating Japanese Rice Cakes that are scattered every on the planet. Yes apparently during the caveman days rice cakes were just laying on the ground waiting to be eaten and to increase stats such as speed, strength, intelligence, and fertility. This VERY, VERY bizarre part of the game greatly takes away from the realism thus making this game an unrealistic caveman sim game without much of a plot to help it. All in all the gameplay is dull, repetitive, and mindless.
Gameplay: 3 out of 10
Graphics- Crap. If only I could just sum the review up in one word..anyway the graphics aren't done well at all. You can see parts of the land coming apart at the seams, all the cavemen tend to look alike except for facepaint (Which your rarely looking at, except when choosing your caveman), and there's not much variety in the land. You can walk a long distance in one direction and not really tell if your making any progress as you just wander from one dull, drab area to the next similar, dull, drab area. Alright, so so far we've determined that the game has repetitive gameplay, no plot, and bad graphics. Let's just move on and hope things get better as we go along to the music category....
Graphics: 3 of 10
Sounds and music- Sigh..so much for things getting better. Not much to say in terms of sounds and music as their ain't much of either one. It's mostly just...quiet, making this category hard to rate. Afterall if there is nothing to talk about in this category how DO you rate it?
Sound and music: 2 of 10
Controls- Oh boy. The final nail in the coffin of this game. It might've been salvageable if the controls were good, but these render the game virtually unplayable. The response is very slow and sluggish so it takes a noticeable while for your caveman to respond. They don't hit fast, making battles more of a timing thing then an enjoyable experience. Jumping is a hassle and it's quite easy to get your caveman stuck in a position where you just have to wait to die, and of course he moves slow. Repetitive gameplay is bad enough, but put it together with slow response time and bad controls? Thats enough to kill any game...
Conrols: 1 of 10
Endings- Without spoiling anything, let me just say that all the different endings (You get a different ending depending on which stat is the highest) consist of text scrolling at the bottom of the screen with various pictures being shown. All of them are, shockingly, somehow more bizarre then the game itself and appear to be drug induced hallucinations rather then actual endings.
Endings: 4 of 10. Hey, they aren't any good, but you've got to give points for multiple endings!
Replayability- Eh...if you happen to like the game you'll want to play through it to see all of the endings (If for no other reason then just to see how bizarre they all are). Actually the game does above average in this category, oddly enough.
Replayability: 6 of 10
However, even through ALL the numerous problems there is still one thing I have to say in this games defense. You can't really call it a game. It's not like any other game in existence and thus can't truly be judged as one. The only thing you can do is rent it and see for yourself as no matter how many reviews you read, you'll never truly understand this ''game'' at all. Which I suppose technically makes my writing of this review entirely pointless..
Overall Rating: 3 of 10. Of course like mentioned you HAVE to play this game for yourself to see how you'll like it..no other way.
Rating: 1.5 - Bad
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