Review by TheSAMMIES

Reviewed: 03/05/13 | Updated: 08/19/13

Clothes Are For The Weak

You know about how sometimes in movies the hero will tear off his shirt before fighting a bunch of bad guys to show how tough he is? Battle Skin Panic 9821 takes this concept and applies it to its logical extreme. In this game, removing your clothes actually will make you stronger and you fight strongest when you’re naked. The game has a good sense of humor and knows very well how ridiculous it is. The game is one wild ride that should not be missed if you’re into PC98 games.

Battle Skin Panic had more than one release, with the version on the PC9821 being the most graphically advanced. Even if you take away the fancy graphics and play the low resolution MSX version of this game, it still has a silly and quirky atmosphere, and is still a fun, lighthearted adventure. You’ll laugh at it. You’ll laugh with it. You might even love it. I sure did.

Huge warning. Battle Skin panic 9821 is a highly pornographic game. The concept of naked cartoon girls is so thoroughly ingrained into the game that stripping is actually a gameplay mechanic. There are plenty of scenes with uncensored cartoon nudity, so if you’re too young to be playing such a game or are simply easily offended by naked cartoon character, then maybe you should skip this one.

Story- You play as a student at a high school. There’s a new girl named Mimi that is totally into you. Mimi also happens to be a master of martial arts and has this crazy superpower that makes her stronger when she’s wearing less clothes. You and Mimi get into all kinds of crazy adventures together and eventually get thrust into a much larger plot, one where the fate of the entire world hangs in the balance.

The story never really takes itself seriously. It’s funny throughout and while it’s all in Japanese, you don’t really need to know any to play, enjoy, and complete this game. Be sure to stick around for the final boss. It’s one of the funniest and most over the top parts of Battle Skin Panic and is a perfect way to end such a ludicrous story.

Presentation- Battle Skin Panic 9821 looks significantly better than any of its other ports. Characters and settings are all hand drawn. Characters are fully voiced in battle. You can hear characters call their attacks, grunt in pain when hit, even talk trash when humiliating each other. Each character even has a different voice, a nice little touch that is unexpected of a game that came on floppy disks. Graphics are drawn in very high resolution, so much that you’d think this was a Playstation game and a good-looking one too. This truly is a graphical achievement for the PC98, something that pushed the boundaries of what the PC98 could do.

As always, Battle Skin Panic is completely uncensored. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is really up to you. On one hand, there aren’t any mosaic blocks covering up any naked bits that look horrible and out of place. The whole mosaic block thing is very prevalent on PC98 games that involve genitalia and it’s thankfully absent here. On the other hand, do you really want to see some of the enemy’s evil insect monster genitalia? Either way, there’s cartoon nudity all over this game on both humans and non-human creatures.

Battle Skin Panic also has really good music. The entire soundtrack consists of remixed songs from the MSX version, which is a very good thing. There are only a handful of tunes, but they all fit the silly tone of the game perfectly. They’re typically fast, upbeat, happy, and fun, just like the game. A few others stand out too. One boss has a theme that is dark and mysterious. It makes sense that the game would do this because the boss with this theme is dark and mysterious, just like the song. Even if the music choices are a bit limited, they still fit perfect and sound great.

Gameplay- Battle Skin Panic is divided into two parts. One part is an adventure game that gives you four commands. They are “look”, “talk”, “listen”, “move”, and “save”. Their functions are pretty obvious besides Save, which has no gameplay function other than saving your game. To get through the adventure game segments, just choose the “look”, “talk”, and “listen” choices until you move onto the next scene. It’s easy to figure out what you need to do and the game is full of pictures, so you always know what’s going on, even if you can’t read Japanese.

The other gameplay segment is a fairly complex card battle game. These are the best and most well designed part of the game. Each card does something different depending on its type and value. Red cards are attack cards. They hurt your opponent’s health bar. Blue cards are defense cards, which make you more resistant to physical damage. Yellow cards are healing cards. They raise your health equal to their value. Pink cards damage your opponent’s shame. We’ll get to that later.

There are also special cards. Huge blue cards restore all of your health. If you’re dealt one, save if for in case you feel like you’re about to die. Huge pink cards are by far the most important to learn. They are strip cards. They have your character tear off a piece of her clothing to immensely raise her attack while lowering her defense and damaging her shame. While these sound risky, you will absolutely need to take off your clothes if you are even thinking about completing this game. If you don’t, then you simply won’t do enough damage and will end up getting pummeled. You need to watch your shame, though.

Shame accumulates when you take off your clothes. Mimi obviously feels no shame if she’s fully dressed, but if she’s standing around in only her panties, she’s going to feel self-aware. Enemies can take advantage of this and use shame cards. If a character’s shame exceeds 120, then all of their clothes fall off and they transform into a tiny, “cute”, naked, and crying super deformed version of themselves. In this state, they are incapable of doing any damage unless they can lower their shame. You can do this to enemies too if they get overeager with stripping, and some of them certainly will. There is a huge yellow card that cures shame, and if you get enough of it, you can end up fighting naked and not caring. It’s kind of a funny effect too if you think about it.

The problem with this shame system is that while it’s a cool alternate way to win and the characters look absolutely hilarious when they’re in their “cute” form, later enemies are completely immune to this strategy. A good example is the aforementioned disgusting naked insect girl. Go ahead and shame her all you want. She doesn’t speak human and doesn’t even know what a nudity taboo is. This part of the game could have been designed better. Even worse, battles tend to get repetitive later on, with the game throwing the same two shame-proof enemies at you over and over again in a “maze” that is actually in the shape of a straight line.

Even with its flaws, Battle Skin Panic is still an amazing game. It won’t take you too long to beat it. It can be conquered on a lazy weekend with nothing to do. After you complete the game, you unlock a battle select mode that lets you pick any battle in the game an replay it. If you play the game with this feature unlocked, don’t go straight to the battle select mode. You’re missing out on the ludicrous and awesome story if you do.

Cool Fact- Mimi will fight with all of her clothes off, but she’ll never take off her hair decorations. Is she truly naked, then? Yes.

Also Try- Capcom vs SNK Cardfighter’s Clash on the Neo Geo Pocket Color. It’s another fun card battle game that you can actually play in front of other people without getting funny looks from people watching you.

Rating: 9

Product Release: Battle Skin Panic 9821 (JP, 09/21/93)

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