Review by TheSAMMIES

Reviewed: 09/05/13

I love Qix. I think tentacle porn is hilarious. I just hate this game.

Warning! Youjuu Club is a game that is all about tentacle rape. Do you like tentacles and think they are hot? What if you just think tentacle porn is funny and like to laugh at the absurdity of Japanese porn games? What about games with terrible gameplay? Can you appreciate a bad game? If you are not one of these people, then you should probably skip this game, because that, right there, is Youjuu Club’s very limited audience. Oh, and don’t play this if you’re underage. This game is full of rape and would probably give children nightmares.

Youjuu Club is actually a remake of the X68000 game of the same name. It redraws all of the sprites and has a completely new CG gallery with some quality high resolution pictures of women getting their clothes (and private parts) shredded by tentacles. While the game does look pretty now, Digital Object seemed to have forgotten to update the gameplay. It’s still has the same broken gameplay and it’s still frustrating and monotonous as ever. You would think sex, horror, and Qix would be a winning combination, but D. O. somehow managed to screw it up with bad gameplay.

Story- You play as this really cute little imp that is on Earth. He has to go open a portal to Hell to let his larger demons onto Earth too! The demons don’t want to destroy the world and bring about Hell on Earth like most demons do, though. They just want to go find some teenage girls, rape them, and then go back to Hell now that their cravings and lust had been satisfied! There is one complication, though. The teenage girls are not just going to sit by while the imp opens the portal to hell and lets another woman get raped. They use their magic powers to make themselves run super-fast to chase down that imp before more girls get raped! You’re just a teeny tiny imp, though! They can kill you just by stepping on you! What is a poor little rape demon to do? Can you be the ultimate demon wingman and help your demon friends get laid tonight? Can you assist your demon friends when they just need to rape someone real bad? Oh my goodness, this story is terrible.

Youjuu Club roughly translates to Demon Beast Club. The whole “club” part is never really clear. Is there an exclusive organization of demon rapists and imp wingmen? It never says. Still, if you want a game that lets you play as a bad guy, this is it. Assisting monster rape from hell should be up there in the “horrible things you can do in a video game” list.

Presentation- The best part of the X68000 Youjuu Club was the disturbing techno soundtrack. It was loud, droning, fast, and trance-like. Guess what? It’s back, and even better than ever! The techno music in the Youjuu Club remake is a disturbing fit. You may even feel like you are possessed with these trance-like tunes playing over and over again, endlessly repeating like a mantra of madness. The sprites look nice too. They’re detailed and have a lot of animation to them. They also look much brighter and more vibrant than their X68000 counterparts. All the CG is high resolution too. Pictures this detailed would never fly on old X68000 hardware. This truly is an amazing remake as far as presentation goes.

Gameplay- Youjuu Club is a Qix style outline game. You start on the sides and have to claim 80% of the playing field to complete a level. There are swarms of enemies all over the place bouncing and rebounding off of everything. Every so often and angel will spawn on the sides and try to get you. No one said that demon rape would be easy and this is proof. Everyone is out to try to kill that imp wingman! Oh, and if an enemy catches the imp or intersects with his line, a giant rock falls on him and he’s smashed into a puddle of blood. Youjuu Club certainly has a sense of humor.

There are three difficulties in Youjuu Club, but they all may as well be hard. Enemies move fast. You move slow. There are a lot of enemies too, though you can sometimes predict where they are about to go. As the game goes on, the enemies get smarter and smarter, to the point where the odds are so stacked against you that you can’t win. Well, you actually can, by repeating and exploiting this really cheap trick.

If you can manage to bisect the playing field into two parts, one smaller than the other, you may be able to isolate all of your enemies into the smaller area. This can usually be accomplished by cutting down the middle and planning ahead. If this works, you can take out a huge swath of area and probably leave only one or two girls left alive. This makes the difficulty much more manageable. This trick always works on every level and every difficulty level. The whole game can be reduced to just repeating this trick over and over again.

Sometimes you can get cool stuff like powerups or time stops. They ultimately mean nothing, though. You can just repeat that trick over and over, showing just how broken the gameplay of Youjuu Club really is. After over ten years of progress, Digital Object still does not know how to make a Qix game. It’s okay. They can stick to other genres. They make much better visual novels anyway.

Cool Fact- Tentacle porn has its roots all the way back in the late 19th century. Go ahead and check out its origins and how it eventually evolved into what it is today! You can learna lot about human psychology by looking at the origins of weird porn.

Also Try- Digital Object’s other series that revolves around tentacle rape is Youjuu Senki, a strategy RPG that has you commanding an army of women off to save the world from a rape monster invasion. It actually got an English release too!

But hey, tentacles are not for everyone. When D.O. isn’t trying to figure out how many tentacles one can fit in a woman’s orifice, they’re making some of the most emotional and heartfelt hentai games ever. Try Kana Little Sister or Crescendo, but be sure to have a box of tissues around when you play. For crying, not that, you dirty minded scoundrel.

Rating: 4

Product Release: Youjuu Club (D.O. Classics Vol. 2) (JP, 03/15/02)

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