Review by ObeIiskos
A flawless experience.
To say the least, Progress Quest is a gem. A masterpiece. A work of art. It's the closest thing to perfection the human race will ever achieve. Its story engrossing, its environments breathtaking, and the gameplay exciting, keeping you on the edge of your seat. The game balances difficulty perfectly, in such a way that the game isn't too difficult or too easy. There is nothing, NOTHING, that could improve this game further than the blissful experience it already is. The only thing that could make it better is for every other game to attempt to be better, just so they can be blow out of the water and pale in comparison to the amazing game that is Progress Quest.
This game balances intelligent satire with engrossing gameplay, while you're being driven through a truly amazing story with many plot twists that will bend your mind. As if all of that isn't enough, the sound is crisp and clear and the musical score is something you think you'd only hear when you've broken the barrier between fantasy and reality, and reached eternal bliss. It is among the sumptuous tunes of the gods. If the gameplay and story weren't so unique and engrossing, you would spend the rest of your days swaying to the greatest music to ever grace a game.
No other game stands up to Progress Quest. This game has the right amount of everything, with a few layers of awesomesauce and a side of win. The game is so great, you will literally no longer need the opposite sex. You won't need anyone or anything. All you need is Progress Quest. Progress Quest removes the need for material possessions. Progress Quests stops violence driven by jealousy by ending any need for relationships. Progress Quest stops crime and any and all pain. All you need is Progress Quest. All anybody needs is Progress Quest. The need for substanance is a thing of the past. You will be so lost in Progress Quest's imaginative and immersive world, your mind will believe your body has no need for anything else, and the body will adapt. You will need nothing but Progress Quest. Progress Quest provides anything and everything you will ever need.
Love Progress Quest. Embrace Progress Quest. Progress Quest loves you. Progress Quest loves everything. Love Progress Quest back. Engross yourself in its warm embrace. Stop living in fear and pain. Thanks to Progress Quest, emotions are also a thing of the past. There is nothing in the world but Progress Quest. Nothing but Progress Quest.
In conclusion, Progress Quest is not just a game. It is bliss. Eternal bliss that we've always strived for. Question it not. Embrace it. Love it. Live it.
Rating: 5.0 - Flawless
Product Release: Progress Quest (US, 12/31/02)
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