Review by Zeph

Reviewed: 04/27/03 | Updated: 04/27/03

Ultra-violent? Nope. Better than the first? Nope.

I played the first Postal game, and it was a blast. Mowing down innocent bystanders while blasting away the cops proved to be entertaining. And fun. It was also the first game (I think) that featured people crawling and suffering after you filed them with lead. Even GTA (the whole series) wasn't THIS violent. Thus, when Postal 2 came out, I expected more of the same stuff, but with even better content. Sadly, it was the opposite. It had less of the same stuff, with utterly crappy content.

PLOT 1/10
Plot? What plot? Okay, I'll give a rundown on the so-called plot. You life in a redneck town called Paradise. You do errands for your wife from Monday to Friday. The game ends. Furthermore, the ending will leave you saying, ''HUH???'' Definitely award-winning material (heavy sarcasm).

Supposedly created using the Unreal Warfare engine, Postal 2 SHOULD have good graphics. Well, they're only decent. The surroundings in the game look so.... dull. Maybe its the colour scheme since Paradise is set somewhere in Arizona, a place not famed for its lush greenery. Regardless, it detracts from the game somewhat. No town should be that brown!!

Anyway, on to the characters. The lip-synching is okay I guess, better than SOF2. The randomly generated bystanders are quite varied, although you may encounter something weird once in a while, like a woman's body having a man's head. Are there cross-dressers or transvestites in Paradise? Postal 2 also features Ragdoll physics, yeah! Unfortunately, it isn't done very well. Many a time I have killed a person and had his body lie face-down, with a leg sticking up into the air. I don't think rigor mortis happens THAT fast. The bodies don't get propped up against walls either.

Finally, for a game that even has a disclaimer when you start it up, it's not that violent. Sure, you got your decapitations, and blood spouts, but no limb removals. Or gibs. The bloodstains also disappear fast, even when you set the decal lifetime to the max. Damn that ghostly bloodcleaner, they should have put unremovable stains, like the first Postal. As for the liquid physics, they're overrated. Blood pools, but they don't flow down stairs. However, sometimes the blood can flow UPHILL!

Responsive enough.

SOUND 6/10
The character you're playing has some witty lines, but not many of them, and you'll soon tire of him repeating the same old stuff over and over. The bystanders also don't have much to talk about either. The music is virtually non-existent. I'm not sure if that a good or bad thing, but heck. Oh yeah, and the people in this game are guttermouths, if you know what I'm saying.

Lotsa mature stuff in here. You got your usual bystander slaughter, which gets boring after a while, or you can... pee on them. Now THAT'S innovative. If you pee on them enough, you can even make them puke! You can even pour gasoline on them, and set them on fire! Watch them run in flames! Kick the bodies around after you're done, but watch out for your cop rating! Want to kill silently? Stuff a cat's arse up your shotgun as a silencer! Kill Gary Coleman! Does all of this sound fun? Sure... for a while.

No reloading is needed in this game, you can keep on firing your Assault Rifle until the cows come home, provided you have enough ammo. The weapons range from the basic (shotgun, pistol, rifle, etc...) to the outrageous (a cow's head, scissors??). The outrageous weapons are mostly useless, however. Oh, and this game doesn't have headshots.

Yes, you heard that right. You can fill a guy's head POINT BLANK with 10 bullets and he still won't die! A 2003 FPS game that DOESN'T HAVE HEADSHOTS??? I know this game was meant to be over the top, but that's ridiculous. I don't know whether I should deem the AI as crappy or good, as everyone in Paradise is a deadly marksman, including those tubby cops. Their bullets WILL hit you ALL the time, as they rarely miss, even when they are blocks away! You'll be reloading quite a lot in this game. And I'm not talking about your weapon.

Doing all those errands for your wife involves traversing from one end of the map to another, since they are placed far apart from each other. This tedious task is made even more tedious because the entire town is seperated into sections, and loading between those sections takes around 15 seconds. Its not fun having to wait for 15 seconds every 10 seconds of walking. The town design is decent, but the building interiors suck.

As for those errands, you can do it the normal, peaceful way, or you can do it the violent way. By killing, of course. However, even if you do it the normal way, a whole crapload of crazy freaks (varies from day to day) will storm the building you're in, so you have to do some killing anyway. And considering their phenomenal shooting accuracy, arghhh.

Once you finish the game, you get an Enhanced Game, which supposedly adds some extra stuff to the game. I couldn't see any difference, other than you being able to pee fire and starting with a useless cop uniform. An editor comes with the game, but I couldn't be bothered to learn how to use it. And there's no multiplayer. Arghhh again.

RWS has REALLY screwed up royally on this game. If they ever make a Postal 3, I certainly hope they had learnt their mistakes from making this pile of disappointment. Now, please excuse me as I search for my old Postal disc for nostalgia's sake.

Rating:   2.5 - Playable

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