• Steam Achievements

    This title has a total of 69 Steam Achievements. Meet the specified conditions, where applicable, to receive the Achievement.

    AchievementDescription
    40 Year Old VirginCompleted the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
    A-Rod Who?Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
    And THAT'S why you never get out of the treeKilled all of the book protestors in the library.
    Anger Management With Roger ClemensNailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
    Anustart!Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
    C U Next TuesdaySurvived Tuesday.
    CAN YOU DIG IT?!Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
    Can't Touch ThisExploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
    Cesar Millan is GayMauled 30 people with your dog.
    Chapelle's ShowLured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
    Chuck Norris'd!Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
    Darth Maul'd!Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
    Do you even Enzyte, bro?Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
    Don't taze me, bro!Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
    Door MatSevered all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
    Duck DynastyUsed a Bass Sniffer Radar.
    FAB-U-LOUS!Wore all three outfits.
    Fear and LoathingSmoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
    Finkle IS Einhorn!Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
    Found 'em faster than GWBDiscovered the hidden Taliban base. (Secret)
    Friend of DorothySuccessfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
    Fur Sure!Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
    Gary vs. a Giant PenisDiscovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse. (Secret)
    GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
    Gotta pay the Troll TollFound one of the hidden underground sewers. (Secret)
    Hello, NewmanKicked 30 dogs.
    Here, WilfredGained your first dog helper.
    Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!Killed over 1,000 people.
    I Am LegendCommitted suicide... the Taliban way.
    I don't know whether to kiss you or kill youPut out someone that's on fire.
    I don't need virgins for thisSuicide-bombed a Taliban member.
    I should buy a boatRead the newspaper every day.
    I swear, I am NOT Marcellus WallaceKilled 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
    I swear, I thought it was a home fillExploded a nuclear bomb.
    I'm not even supposed to be here today!(no official description)
    It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of ThursdaysSurvived Thursday.
    It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dogPlayed "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
    It's OK, we got Greenlit anywayKilled someone who refused to sign your petition.
    It's sterile and I like the tasteSucked down your own piss.
    John Rambo'd!Made a very long killing spree. (Secret)
    Lieberman is our Leader!Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
    Michonne ain't got nothin' on meResurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
    Officer McLovin'Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
    OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!Survived Wednesday.
    OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...saleRoasted 30 people with fire.
    One time, at band camp...Saved the marching band from explody death.
    Paid the PiperSuccessfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
    Planet of the Apes: The MusicalCompleted the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
    Pussy on a PedestalSlaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
    R. Kelly's ProtegePissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
    Rebecca Black's NightmareTotaled 30 cars.
    Reddit would be proud.Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
    Rick Grimes 4 LifeMade 30 zombies lose their heads.
    Running With ScissorsRan 30 miles while holding the scissors.
    Scientology Level: OT VIIICompleted the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
    Screw Bill Lumbergh!Survived Saturday.
    SCREW that game!Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. (Secret)
    SeƱor CornballerAte 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
    Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
    Shiva Blast"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
    Someone's got a case of the Mondays!Survived Monday.
    Taxidermy with Chuck TestaUsed a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
    Thanks for the money!Finished all seven days.
    There's always money in the banana standFound the secret bank exit on Monday. (Secret)
    Uncle T-BagEscaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
    Well, aren't YOU a badassKicked open a door.
    Where's Mr. McGibblets?Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
    Workin' for the WeekendSurvived Friday.
    You are not aloneObserved an NPC going POSTAL! (Secret)

    Contributed By: Eevee-Trainer.

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