What do you need help on? Cancel X

Jump to:
Would you recommend this Guide? Yes No Hide
Send Skip Hide

Head Radio Script by FaaipdeOiad14

Version: 1.2 | Updated: 08/28/02

Grand Theft Auto III - Head Radio Script v1.2
Head Radio Script
Grand Theft Auto III
Playstation 2
v. 1.2
Username: FaaipdeOiad14
E-Mail: FaaipdeOiad14@hotmail.com, feel free to send any questions,
comments, or suggestions for this FAQ

Version History
v1.0 - August 5, 2002 - Everything is new.
v1.1 - August 10, 2002 - Added some 2 Dialogues and 1 Song that I
missed. Added the Misc. Info Section. Corrected mistakes.
v1.2 - Corrected mistakes. Added part of Equinox script. Added
Thanks section.
v1.3 - Minor corrections. Added Legal Information

I. Head Radio Script
01..........Dialogue 1 - Fan in the Mall
02..........Announcer 1 - Head Radio
03..........Song 1 - "If you Don't Change"
04..........Dialogue 2 - Call him Mike
05..........Announcer 2 - Built from Cheap Labor
06..........Commercial 1 - Equinox
07..........Dialogue 3 - Bowling Alley Show
08..........Song 2 - "All you Think About is You"
09..........Announcer 3 - Geographic, Demographic, Income
10..........Song 3 - No Lyrics
11..........Announcer 4 - Win Tickets
12..........Commercial 2 - Sue Anyone
13..........Announcer 5 - #1 in Noise
14..........Commercial 3 - Fernando's New Beginnings
15..........Commercial 4 - PetsOvernight.com
16..........Announcer 6 - Love Media
17..........Dialogue 4 - 60 Years of Rock
18..........Announcer 7 - Less Annoying
19..........Dialogue 5 - Ready to Party?
20..........Song 4 - "Good Thing"
21..........Dialogue 6 - Exclusive Song?

II.  Misc. Info
III. Thanks Section
IV.  Legal Information

I. Script

Dialogue 1 - Fan in the Mall

Hunt: Ya, the rock of Liberty City. I'm DJ Michael Hunt. Last week when
we were broadcasting live from that food court at the mall. A fan said
to me "Mike, why do you always use cheesy clich├ęs? Can't you say
something original for once." Hey! I'm not here be original, I'm here to
rock! Rock around the clock. 24/7 dudes! Non stop rock here on Head

Announcer 1 - Head Radio

Announcer: The single source of gratification in your miserable
insignifact life. Head Radio. You may need us, but we don't need you.
Head Radio.

Song 1 - "If you Don't Change"

Forgive me, but I didn't do anything wrong.
So sue me, If you think the teacher had the life.
Forget me, If you don't think your friend is your enemy.
Because it's always been your innocence.

You sit, you shy, you withstood it.
You censor your life for your benefit.
But you lose all the taste.
And you sit there and waste.
You're day, your month, your year.

Nothing stays, they pass you by.
If you don't change, If you don't change.

Tell me, will you always be the same.
Oh maybe, kick yourself and play the game.
You ask me, what it is your doing wrong.
You hesitate, you stand there and you should know.


Dialogue 2 - Call him Mike

Hunt: Here it is, Head Radio. I'm Michael Hunt, you can call me Mike,
with another phat jam of non-stop rock from the station that gives you
more because we pay our employees less.

Announcer 2 - Built from Cheap Labor

Announcer: Built from cheap labor, El Salvador and Paraguay, this is
Head Radio.

Commercial 1 - Equinox

Lady: I used to be concerned and nervous about the future. Sometimes I'd
get scared before an important event, such as childbirth or a family
funeral. Hey sometimes you need some help navigating lives trouble
spots. That's when I discovered Equinox.

Man 1: After the divorce and losing little Tommy, life was getting me
down. I couldn't focus on anything at work. After trying Equinox, I've
been employee of the month 3 times in a row.

Man 2: I used to fall unconscious for hours at a time. Now with Equinox,
I never need to sleep.

Man 3: Equinox is new from Zaibatsu Pharmaceuticals. Ask your doctor
about Equinox today.

Man 4: <fast speech>"Equinox may cause nausea, loss of sleep, blurred
      vision, leakage, kidney problems and breathing irregularities. Do
      not take Equinox if you are operating any machinery, driving a
      car, pregnant, a child of low age, unhappy or if your family has a
      history of mental disorders. </fast speech>

Man 3: Equinox, softening life's harsh realities.

Dialogue 3 - Bowling Alley Show

Hunt: Here's one that brings down the house when I do my weekly Michael
Hunt's rock 'n' roll jam at the Liberty City's premier bowling alley.
I'm Mike "wheels of steel" Hunt

Song 2 - "All you Think About is You"

I know she sounds kind of cool
But she feels kind of good
She swings her hips and her bits to the rock 'n' roll groove
What she makes, What she breaks
I say its all good
But she can't hide from the sight that makes her move.

Got maybe, gone crazy
I don't know if she's listening tonight
I think its time I told you
I can do nothing else but see through you
Cuz I to one to many times
So baby stop and see something else
That makes you feel ok, what you say,
Always seem to think about you

Turn the page, dammnit did I hear you say
I got laid, no way
Turn the page, wish I had it all again
What the hell is me?


You and all your pride and glory
What's it like to be so horny
Cut your hair and change your look
Get a job and a filed suit
Kind of like your holding life
And obviously playing at night


Announcer 3 - Geographic, Demographic, Income Bracket?

Announcer: No matter what your geographic, demographic, or income
bracket. We've got content personalized for you. Head Radio because
your head needs it.

Song 3 - No lyrics

Announcer 4 - Win Tickets

Announcer: Head Radio, with free concert tickets. Just listen for your
time to call. When you hear caller 25. If you can correctly answer the
trivia question, you'll be qualified. Every qualifier will meet at the
local mall, where you'll be told to perform various acrobatic stunts.
The one who can do the best goes on to nationals. Then if you win there,
you'll get free concert tickets. From Head Radio, where it's easy to

Commercial 2 - Sue Anyone

Man: Is your job effecting your health? Do you become fatigued? Does
working take time away from family and social events like watching
wrestling? There's an easy solution. Sue your Boss. See the great thing
about this country is you can sue anyone for anything and you'll
probably win, or at least get a settlement. At the firm of Ragin and
Pozger, personal injury attorneys. We can show how falling down and
howling like a sissy can result in a large damage award from your
employer. We also specialize in injuries suffered in auto, bus, and
train accidents. We can even train you to through yourself in front of a
bus and pretend to be injured. Hey that's why the pay for insurance.
Call the law offices of Ragin and Pozger and get ready to enjoy a life
of luxury.

Announcer 5 - #1 in Noise

Announcer: The number one for noise, Head Radio

Commercial 3 - Fernando's New Beginnings

Fernando: Has your marriage gone stale? Has the spark gone out of your
love life? Looking to add a little adventure the monotomy of monogamy.
I am Fernando Martinez, founder of Fernando's New Beginnings. A
revolutionary new way of saving your marriage. We understand how two
kids and a mortgage can take the passion out of your love life. With our
three-step program, you will rediscover romance, guaranteed.

Phil: Hi, my names Phil, I've got three kids, two cars, and a mortgage.
My love life was going stale even before my wife's car accident. Then I
called New Beginnings. Thanks to Fernando, I'm still married, but on
Wednesday afternoons, I meet Barbara at the motel by the turnpike

Fernando: See the passion is back. Phil's marriage is saved and his kids
will have a daddy to look up to. Call New Beginnings today. Cinco,
Cinco, Cinco, Nuevo, Dos, Nuevo, Dos. It will be a miracle, I guarantee
it. Fernando's New Beginnings, we turn a ending into a new beginning.

Commercial 4 - PetsOvernight.com

Man: Are you bored with man's best friend?

Boy: Sorry Fido were gonna have to drown you.

Man: Why not try mans first cousin? At PetsOvernight.com we've got every
primate in stock from spider monkeys to gorillas. You'll love your new
best friend.

Boy: Mommy, Jim-Jim bit me.

Mom: Oh ya, you just bite him back then. Ok?

Man: PetsOvernight.com, delivering little bundles of love in box,
directly to your door.

Announcer 6 - Love Media

Announcer: This is Head Radio, a Love Media station. Just one of 900
radio stations, 300 TV stations, 4 networks, and 10 senators(thank you).
Head Radio.

Dialogue 4 - 60 Years of Rock

Hunt: Your listening to Head Radio the rock of Liberty City for 60
years. I'm DJ Michael Hunt taking through another set of non-stop rock
and pop. It's Head Radio.

Announcer 7 - Less Annoying
Announcer: More tolerable, less annoying, a better variety of noises
between commercials. The one and only. Head Radio.

Dialogue 5 - Ready to Party?
Hunt: Are you ready to party? These boys certainly are.

Song 4 - "Good Thing"

Sometimes I feel like I can
Come clean, unused
been caught, been bruised, been used

Dialogue 6 - Exclusive Song?
Hunt: That was Whatever with "Good Thing". That band is gonna be
huge. This is the only place you can find this next song, except for
the other 800 stations owned by Love Media. Our sister stations. This
is Head Radio.

II. Misc. Info

-The Head Radio Building is located in Harwood, Portland.
-If you call Michael Hunt by Mike like he wants you to. It becomes the
infamous name Mike Hunt.

III. Thanks Section

-CJayC for posting this guide
-Mikey Garcia, TJ Nunyerbizness, and RUAN4608, and Saiberdood for
pointing out corrections
-PackingHeat for helping me on part of the Equinox commercial

IV. Legal Information

Copyright 2002 FaaipdeOiad14(Contact: faaipdeoiad14@hotmail.com

All rights reserved

This document was created and maintained by FaaipdeOiad14, it's author.
It is the sole property of its author, whom bears the copyright and
reserves all rights.  It is protected by "United States Code:
Title 17 - Copyrights", the "Berne Convention for the Protection of
Literacy and Artistic Works (Paris Text 1971)", any and all copyright
and patent laws applicable and International Treaties.

This document can only appear in one of two forms:  electronic and a
personal printed file for private use.  The ONLY websites that can post
this document are:


This document may not be reproduced or retransmitted (the above listed
websites are the only sites exempted from this) in any way, shape, form, or
medium.  You shall contact FaaipdeOiad14 if you want your site to use this
information in anyway.

You may not alter, edit, format, remove or add materials to any part of
this document.  It may not be offered for money and/or compensation (even
if profit attempt fails) or offered as a bonus or gift for accessing a web
page or purchasing an item.  It may not be added to an archive of any type.
It must always remain in the English Language.  It will not be translated
to any language for any reason whatsoever.  It will not appear in any
publication.  This document was in no way intended for commerical,
promotional and/or profitable uses.  This guide is limited to personal and
private use only.  Any other uses MUST be priorly approved by the author,

If this copyright is trangressed, the violators will face immediate civil
and/or criminal penalties to the fullest extent possible.  Any breach of
copyright (which includes acts of stealing, plagerism, pirating, uses not
private and personal, posting without permission, etc.) is considered a
felony, and will be punished accordingly.

By accessing, reading, viewing, or using this document in any way, you
automatically agree to abide by this copyright.  This copyright supercedes
any conversation, verbal exchange and written statements that have any
affiliation with this guide.  The latest version of this document contains
the copyright information that is valid for the latest version, and all
prior versions.  There's no reason for not checking the latest version,
their locations are listed above.  Ignorance to this, the copyright, or
the law is no excuse.  Also, any part of this copyright may change at
anytime, withour prior warning.

All characters and associated materials are copyright their owner.
No breach of copyright intended.  This guide, its author,
and persons otherwise associated (through contributions, hosting, etc.)
make no claims to the above stated articles.  All trademarks and copyrights
not acknowledged in this document are respected.

Information in this document is provided "as is," without warranty or
guarantee of any kind, either express or implied.

Under no circumstances will this guide, its author, and persons otherwise
associated with this guide, be held responsible by any party for any
direct, indirect, consequential, or special damages incurred through use of
this document, including without limitation, lost profits, and loss of
computer data.

If for any reason you do not agree with parts or the entire copyright, your
only remedy shall be to not use this guide.

View in: