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by bruplex

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Guide and Walkthrough by bruplex

Version: 3.0 | Updated: 06/22/2005

Game Overview

I'm not sure if I love or hate Ghosts N' Goblins. It has bad play control, high difficulty, dinky music, and can be soul-crushingly frustrating. On the other hand, it does offer you the chance to see a man cavorting around in red, Speedo-like underwear. Dedicated gamers who make it far enough are rewarded with some of the most hilarious Japanese to English translations in 8-bit history.

I was in 7th grade (Winter 1987) when my Mom was nice enough to get me Ghosts N' Goblins for having a great report card. In hindsight, maybe I should have gone for straight C's. Keep in mind I didn't WANT Ghosts N' Goblins, I wanted Kid Icarus, Mega Man or almost any other game. Being that all the titles I wanted were out of stock and ANY game is better than no game, Ghosts N' Goblins it was. Thus began my relationship with this devilish game.

At first I remember being disappointed in GNG, but not wanting to act like an ungrateful, spoiled, little snot, I went ahead and played it. Slowly I was drawn into the choppy animation, bizarre characters, and brutal challenge. My enjoyment of the game evolved. I can remember sitting in class, itching to get home and make it one level farther, proof that somewhere in my brain a genuine fondness for the world of Satan and his minions was well in place.

Therefore I dedicate this FAQ to my good ol' Mom, who had no idea her purchase would still be relevant some 15 years later. Oh and Mom, I apologize for those nights in the wee hours of the morning when my less-than-gentlemanly comments on where that bastardly Red Demon may stick it woke you, Dad, the cats, and the neighbors up.

Our Hero

In Ghosts N' Goblins, you play the part of a brave knight, who is never named in the instruction manual. Later games in the series identify him as "Arthur" but in this incarnation he is known only as "The Knight". Knowing the poor quality of Japanese-to-English translations in Ghosts N' Goblins, it was better they didn't try to give him an English moniker. It probably would have come out as "Mighty Rapid Knight" or something equally bizarre.

Our game opens as the knight and his girlfriend are enjoying a romantic picnic in a graveyard at midnight. I know what you are thinking: what kind of loony takes his girlfriend on a date to the graveyard? And who IS this girl, some kind of blue-haired Goth? It turns out she is none other than Princess Prin-Prin (see what I mean about bad translations?), generic sweetheart of the knight. Despite the seemingly creepy setting, our knight is already stripped down to his underwear, meaning he might have been onto something with his choice of date location.

As our demure lady and her underoo' wearin' hero lounge amongst the tombstones, a big scary demon materializes in the sky and kidnaps the Princess. Not to sound cynical, but getting busy in a graveyard seems like an invitation for Satan to mess with you. He was probably just wandering this mortal coil, collecting the souls of the damned when he sees these two playing smoochie-moochie in the boneyard. If Lucifer had really wanted to live up to his title of "sinister trickster", he should have stolen the knight's armor instead of the Princess. How would brave sir whatever-his-name-is explain that one? Though on second thought, he spends a majority of the game in his underwear anyway. We can assume our hero is fairly liberal and wouldn't be bothered having to walk back to the castle bereft of clothes. Hey, if you have the body to show off in your crimson loincloth, you might as well.

Following the bold abduction, Mr. Knight realizes he needs to get off his skinny butt, throw on his suit of armor and rescue the Princess. Given how hard this game is, he might have been better off letting her become a shape-shifting bride of Satan. Instead of feeling "strongth" welling in his body, he could have chosen to dauntlessly go to Hardie's and soak his sorrows with a double bacon cheeseburger. Sometimes Satan gets the girl and there's nothing you can do except drown your sorrows in a cholesterol-fueled burger binge.