Review by Jericho0784
Reviewed: 02/18/01 | Updated: 02/18/01
For fans only (yes, all three of them)
To quote Adam Sandler from Billy Madison, ''There's a nice piece of ****.'' Yes, this game is that bad. From foggy graphics which even beat out the first Turok to the boring, repititious gameplay to the grating soundtrack, this game is the embodiment of pure, unadulterated (well, maybe adulterated) garbage. I'm so disappointed in this game that I'd take a cue from the aforementioned film and leave burning bags of dog poo on the doorsteps of the developers of this game.
It's the same goofy South Park stories that we've come to love (until it became uncool to do so), so at least they kept true to that aspect in this game. Basically, aliens have come to South Park and are doing all sorts of crazy crap. I'd give it a ten if the story wasn't so retarded, but I'm giving eight just because it was true to the series.
Well, it looks like a 3-D version of the cartoon, and it would look great if there wasn't SO MUCH FREAKING FOG!!! It's ridiculous when you can't see twenty meters in front of you. Why doesn't the expansion pak do anything about this? Because it's too busy prettying up the tiny bit that you CAN see.
Oh boy, the music is simply horrid. Please do your ears a favor and keep the music off. You'll thank me later, trust me. The voices are actually somewhat decent, if not marred by the same damn phrases heard over and over and the obligatory cartridge limitations. If they paid less attention to voices of every character and more attention to the other problems of the game, we might have had a decent game.
What can I say? It's the same controls you've seen from every other FPS. You can either have Turok controls or GoldenEye controls. Not that it matters because it's the EXACT SAME THING you've played before, in better games.
This is where the game takes a swan dive. You do the same damn thing over and over. You find your loser friends so you can carry more crappy weapons, go through a labyrinth filled with enemies with the AI of a Goomba, kill aforementioned enemies, and find the exit. Then you get to do it again. And if you can stay awake long enough, you'll fight a really sucktacular boss. Then what happens? You get to do the same tired crap again. See my point?
Buy or Rent?
I wouldn't recommend doing either. South Park sucks to the point where anybody who even mentions its name is immediately lynched and this game as an FPS, quite frankly,
is pretty boring, not unlike the cartoon these days. Only the two or three remaining fans and mindless sheep should think about trying this garbage out.
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