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Guide and Walkthrough by Wiej

Version: 1.05 | Updated: 03/01/2008

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                             "Conker's Bad Fur Day"

|                              ~~FAQ/Walkthrough~~                             |
|                          ~~Created October 7, 2007~~                         |
|  RATED M (FOR MATURE) |       "By KrocTheDoc"      | Version 1.00 |NINTENDO64|

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|                          |    Table of Contents   |                          |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

|Ch.#|    Name/Description   | Search |               Description              |
|(01)|    Version History    |VERSIONS| Descriptions of updates to the FAQ.    |
|(02)|      Introduction     | INTROD | The introduction to this FAQ.          |
|(03)|      Game Basics      | BASICS | Basic information about Conker's BFD.  |
| 3a |         Story         |  STOR  | The story behind the game.             |
| 3b |       Controls        |  CTRL  | How to control Conker.                 |
| 3c |         Moves         |  MOVE  | Conker's techniques and skills.        |
| 3d |     Items/Weapons     |  ITEM  | The items/weapons found in the game.   |
| 3e |       Enemy List      |  ENEM  | A list of the enemies in Conker's BFD. |
| 3f |     Character List    | CHARAC | A list of characters in Conker's BFD.  |
|(04)|      I. Hungover      |CHAPTER1| The game's training level.             |
| 4a |     Scaredy Birdy     |CHPT1P01| Curing Conker's hangover.              |
| 4b |      Pan Handled      |CHPT1P02| Getting the frying pan.                |
| 4c |       Gargoyle        |CHPT1P03| Getting rid of the gargoyle.           |
|(05)|   II. Windy (Pt. 1)   |CHPT2PT1| The first part of chapter two.         |
| 5a |        Mrs Bee        |CHPT2P01| Returning the beehive.                 |
|(06)|    III. Barn Boys     |CHAPTER3| The third chapter of the game.         |
| 6a |         Marvin        |CHPT3P01| Feeding marvin the mouse cheese.       |
| 6b |     Mad Pitchfork     |CHPT3P02| Meeting Franky the pitchfork.          |
| 6c |       Sunny Days      |CHPT3P03| Making bees tickle a sunflower.        |
| 6d |       Barry + Co      |CHPT3P04| Rescuing Franky.                       |
| 6e |        Buff You       |CHPT3P05| Attacking the haystack.                |
| 6f |      Haybot Wars      |CHPT3P06| Defeating the robot.                   |
| 6g |     Frying Tonight    |CHPT3P07| Getting out of the robot area.         |
| 6h |       Slam Dunk       |CHPT3P08| Opening a gate in the area.            |
|(07)|   II. Windy (Pt. 2)   |CHPT2PT2| The second part of chapter two.        |
| 7a |       Poo Cabin       |CHPT2P02| Heading through poo cabin.             |
| 7b |        Pruned         |CHPT2P03| Pouring prune joice into a trough.     |
| 7c |       Yee Haa!        |CHPT2P04| Killing the cows.                      |
| 7d |     Sewage Sucks      |CHPT2P05| Swimming through the pile of poo.      |
| 7e |   Great Balls of Poo  |CHPT2P06| Putting your poo balls to work.        |
|(08)|    IV. Bats Tower     |CHAPTER4| The fourth chapter of the game.        |
| 8a |      Mrs. Catfish     |CHPT4P01| Meeting the catfish.                   |
| 8b |      Barry's Mate     |CHPT4P02| Heading up Bats Tower.                 |
| 8c |     Cogs' Revenge     |CHPT4P03| Finding the missing cogs.              |
| 8d |    The Combination    |CHPT4P04| Opening the safe.                      |
| 8e |      Blast Doors      |CHPT4P05| Doing a pinwheel challenge.            |
| 8f |      Clang's Lair     |CHPT4P06| Swimming through an underwater tunnel. |
| 8g |       Pisstastic      |CHPT4P07| Defeating the flames.                  |
| 8h |      Brass Monkey     |CHPT4P08| Defeating the boiler.                  |
| 8i |   Bullfish's Revenge  |CHPT4P09| Swimming back to the start.            |
|(09)|      V. Sloprano      |CHAPTER5| The fifth chapter of the game.         |
| 9a |   Corn Off the Cob    |CHPT5P01| Feeding the Great Mighty Poo corn.     |
| 9b |     Sweet Melody      |CHPT5P02| Defeating the Great Mighty Poo.        |
| 9c |     U-Bend Blues      |CHPT5P03| Swimming past the spinning blades.     |
| 9d |       The Bluff       |CHPT5P04| Getting past the two guards.           |
|(10)|     VI. Uga Buga      |CHAPTER6| The sixth chapter of the game.         |
|10a |      Drunken Gits     |CHPT6P01| Getting into the dino-idol room.       |
|10b |       Sacrifice       |CHPT6P02| Sacrificing a dino to the idol.        |
|10c |         Phlegm        |CHPT6P03| Going through the dinosaur idol.       |
|10d |        Worship        |CHPT6P04| Getting rid of the rock guys.          |
|10e |       Rock Solid      |CHPT6P05| Breaking Berri out of her cage.        |
|10f |        Bomb Run       |CHPT6P06| Taking a bomb through the idol.        |
|10g |         Mugged        |CHPT6P07| Getting your money back from cavemen.  |
|10h |       Raptor Food     |CHPT6P08| Eating cavemen with a raptor.          |
|10i |      Buga the Knut    |CHPT6P09| Defeating Buga the Knut.               |
|(11)|   II. Windy (Pt. 3)   |CHAPTER2| The third part of chapter three.       |
|11a |     Wasps' Revenge    |CHPT2P07| Returning the hive again.              |
|11b |       Mr. Barrel      |CHPT2P08| Riding Mr. Barrel down the hill.       |
|(12)|      VII. Spooky      |CHAPTER7| The seventh chapter of the game.       |
|12a |        Mr Death       |CHPT7P01| Getting a shotgun and killing zombies. |
|12b |      Count Batula     |CHPT7P02| Dropping mice in Batula's grinder.     |
|12c |        Zombies        |CHPT7P03| Getting out of Count Batula's mansion. |
|12d |       Mr. Barrel      |CHPT7P04| Riding Mr. Barrel out of the house.    |
|(13)|    VIII. It's War     |CHAPTER8| The eight chapter of the game.         |
|13a |        It's War       |CHPT8P01| Meeting the general.                   |
|13b |      Power's Off      |CHPT8P02| Restoring the area's power.            |
|13c |          TNT          |CHPT8P03| Blowing up the giant jet.              |
|13d |      The Assault      |CHPT8P04| Heading through the beach.             |
|13e |     Sole Survivor     |CHPT8P05| Getting two guns from a dead soldier.  |
|13f |     Casualty Dept.    |CHPT8P06| Heading through a big building.        |
|13g | Saving Private Rodent |CHPT8P07| Saving Rodent, a soldier.              |
|13h |    Chemical Warfare   |CHPT8P08| Going through the area with Rodent.    |
|13i |       The Tower       |CHPT8P09| Destroying the tower's supports.       |
|13j |      Little Girl      |CHPT8P10| Destroying submarines firing missiles. |
|13k |     The Experiment    |CHPT8P11| Killing the Little Girl's robot.       |
|13l |       Countdown       |CHPT8P12| Heading through lasers and the beach.  |
|13m |     Peace at Last!    |CHPT8P13| Leaving the war chapter.               |
|(14)|       IX. Heist       |CHAPTER9| The ninth chapter of the game.         |
|14a |  The Windmill's Dead  |CHPT9P01| Going in the remains of the windmill.  |
|14b |    Enter the Vertex   |CHPT9P02| Matrixing your way through the bank.   |
|14c |       The Vault       |CHPT9P03| Defeating the final boss.              |
|14d |      End Cutscene     |CHPT9P04| The ending of Conker's Bad Fur Day.    |
|(15)|      Appendicies      | APPEND | The last chapters of the guide.        |
|15a |     Tail Locations    |  TAIL  | Where the 1-up tails area.             |
|15b |      Cheat Codes      | CHEATS | The cheat codes of the game.           |
|15c |    Legal Disclaimer   | LEGALD | The legal notice of this FAQ.          |
|15d |  Contact Information  |CONTACTI| READ THIS BEFORE CONTACTING!           |
|15e |        Credits        | CREDIT | I would like to thank...               |

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (01)           |     Version History    |           VERS           |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| October 13, 2007 | Version 1.00 |
                   | The FAQ is complete, meaning all the cash is in there and
                   | the guides for all nine chapters are complete. The extra
                   | chapters are also done.

| March 1, 2008 | Version 1.05 |
                | I added two extra tails I missed. These were pointed out to me
                | thanks to cellosolo777@gmail.com. Thanks cello!

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (02)           |      Introduction      |          INTROD          |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

Welcome to my FAQ for Conker's Bad Fur Day. This is my eighth FAQ for GameFAQs
and my fifth Nintendo 64 guide. Rareware has made yet another top-quality,
hilarious game for the Nintendo 64 FAQ. Originally, the game was to be called
Twelve Tails and was going to be another 3d platform like Banjo-Kazooie. When
criticism claiming it would be "another cutesy platformer" reeled its ugly head,
the game was transformed into a poo humor-filled, violent, swearfest. And thus,
Conker's Bad Fur Day was born.

Before the guide starts, let me dish out a little warning. If you're not at
least, shall we say, 14 years old (or at least mature enough to be able to watch
shows like Family Guy), then **** off, as any character in this game would say.
Parents, if you don't like the sound of BFD, don't let your kids play it. It's
not the type of thing you want your little boy to be playing.

Conker's Bad Fur Day is totally different from N64 games like Super Mario 64 and
Banjo-Kazooie. It's not where there are worlds you must open by collecting items
, working your way towards the boss. BFD is much more open-ended. Basically, you
progress through the game doing various tasks for characters, rather than
collecting huge amounts of garbage. In fact, the only thing you have to collect
is money.

The VERSION HISTORY chapter explains changes made in each update of the FAQ. The
GAME BASICS tells you basic information about the game. If you read it, you'll
be able to skip a lot of training/cut-scenes that tell you controls and other
such information. The WALKTHROUGH explains how to complete every task in the
game and will tell you where all the money wads are as well. The APPENDICIES
includes credit and legal information as well as extra information like cheat
codes. Enjoy!

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (03)           |       Game Basics      |          BASICS          |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 3a                                  Story                               STOR |

Conker had mentally left the conversation. His mind wandered to thoughts of his
girlfriend Berri and why she had such a problem with him having fun without her.
As he sat contemplating giving her a call, he moved uncomfortably in his chair.
His bladder ache had now reached the point where it couldn't be ignored.

"Conker!" came the cry from the group seated around the table, making Conker
jump. "It's your turn."

"Okay, okay. But first I've got to call Berri to let her know I'll be late." He
stood unsteadily, then just before staggering off, decided that maybe the toilet
was a more pressing issue.

The evening wore on, and the beer kept flowing. One round became another, and
then another, until Conker reached that awful moment of realization:

"Guys, guys. I think I've had too much." He paused for a moment, nearly retching
then and there. "I gotta go..."

At the next table a couple of pretty little chipmunks sniggered and whispered
something to each other as Conker tottered slightly, then nearly lost his
balance completely.

"I don't think he can hold his drink," he overhead the nearest one say.

"No, indeed," her sly-looking friend replied.

Conker toyed with the idea of vomiting on the both of them but decided that
perhaps it wasn't such a good idea with their boyfriends sitting opposite. For
some reason, they were dressed in combat fatigues and engaged in a most heated

"The war! The evil Teddy Bears have overrun the Grey Squirrels' homeland! We
signed up this morning, and you should do the same, Mr. Red Squirrel." At this
point, several grey squirrels around the alehouse leveled accusing gazes at
Conker. "If you have any sense of decency and honor, that is."
stand once more. "I'm definitely going now. Good-bye!"

"I think you just hit the nail on the head," said Conker, as he attempted to
stand once more. "I'm definitely going now. Good-bye!"

On the way out, two of his old school chums grabbed him by the arm, shouting,
"One more for the road, Conker?" And before he knew it...

"Slammers? Oh no, not slammers!" They were lined up in front of him--eight in
total. Oh well, tomorrow was another day...

| 3b                                Controls                          CONTROLS |

                                 Control Stick


The control stick is used to manuever Conker anywhere within 360 degrees. This
allows you to move and head to different areas. Holding the control stick
lightly will cause Conker to tip-toe. Push it further and he will walk. Hold it
all the way and Donkey will run. Running is the most efficient way to explore
the worlds, so you should always do so. However, when moving across narrow
bridges, tip-toeing is safer and more advisable.

Underwater, the control stick allows you to move as well. However, it is much
more difficult to swim to precise locations or to objects underwater. Pushing
the control stick up causes Conker to go down while holding it down causes him
to go up.

                                    A Button


Like in pretty much all N64 adventure games, the A button is used to jump. Press
A and Conker will jump, allowing you to reach higher ledges. You'll need to use
this pretty much all the time throughout the game.

                                    B Button


After entering the room with the key in the first chapter, Conker will remember
how to use his frying pan. Press B and he'll swing it. You'll stop moving for a
second, so you can't swipe the pan while running. The frying pan is used to
temporarily stun strange objects like corn or cheese. They're pretty fast, so
you have to be close before pressing B. You can then move into it to grab hold
of it and take it to other places.

While on the water (after swallowing the confidence pills in Windy part 2),
press B to submerge. Conker's face will appear on the screen and his expression
will become worse and worse as you stay under longer and longer. A little bit
after his face becomes blue you'll start losing your health, so you'll want to
be extremely careful. Sometimes you'll find bubble pockets to restore your air.
To swim around underwater, move the control stick while holding B.

The last use of the B button is to activate context zones and context buttons.
Throughout the game, you'll find pads with the letter B on them. A lightbulb
will appear above Conker's head if you stand on it (sometimes this happens just
anywhere, without the pad). Press B and something will happen that allows you to
complete the task at hand. If a lightbulb doesn't appear when you stand on a pad
, it means you have to complete some other task before using the pad.

                                    Z Button


Hold the Z button while on the land and Conker will crouch. You can then press
the A button to make him do a highjump. While crouching, you can't do anything
else but move the control stick to turn in a circle.

                                    C Buttons


Conker's Bad Fur Day has one of the simplest camera systems, which is probably
all for the better. Hold left or right C to rotate the camera sideways. If you
press up C, you can toggle between two different views. One is further away from
Conker, letting you see more at once. If you hold the down C button, you can
center the camera behind Conker, making things a bit easier to see.

                                    L Button

                               ~~Skip Cutscenes~~

After watching a cut-scene once, you can press the L button to skip it (a select
few cut-scenes cannot be skipped). If you haven't seen the scene before, you
won't be able to skip it. Also, some of the context zones come with manuals to
explain the more complex stuff. If you want to use the zone for a second time
but need the manual again, press L and B at the same time.

                                    R Button


If you hold the R button, you'll be able to see a first-person view of the area.
If you're unfamilar with a level, this is a great way to look around and see
where you're going. You can't do anything else while holding R.

| 3c                                  Moves                               MOVE |

                                   High Jump


Conker will remember this move at the top of the waterfall in the training area.
While on the ground, hold Z to crouch and press A. Conker will do an extra high
jump. You can now reach much higher ledges and platforms. You'll need to do this
a lot throughout the game, as the normal jump won't cut it for many ledges.

Unlike the high jump in a lot of other N64 games, you can get a bit of distance,
but usually you'll be using...

                             Helicoptery Tail Thing


Conker will remember this move at the top of the waterfall in the training area.
Press A to jump, then press and hold A again to make Conker spin his tail. You
can now cross rather large gaps as the tailspin will make Conker float for a
while. After a bit, his tail will slow down and stop. Be careful, because if you
fail to cross the gap before Conker stops spinning his tail, you'll fall
straight down and possibly die.

While the most important use of the tailspin is to cross gaps, you can also use
it to break falls. Hold A just before landing from a fall and you'll float
safely down. If you time it incorrectly, you'll get hurt anyway.



This move makes Conker look like a baby, which he is sometimes. Hold Z to crouch
down, then start moving the control stick. Conker will start crawling around
like a little baby. Since he moves EXTREMELY slowly while crawling, you can use
this move to get across very narrow ledges. If you have difficulty controlling
Conker on ledges, the crawl may make it a bit easier.

| 3d                              Items/Weapons                           ITEM |

                                Collectible Items

                              Anitgravity Chocolate

After leaving the training area and entering the Windy chapter for the first
time, you'll start seeing pieces of chocolate all over the place. Pick them up
to restore your life bar (you only get six pieces throughout the whole game). If
an enemy hits you, you'll lose one or more pieces of chocolate. After losing
them all, you'll die. Pieces of chocolate can be found all over the place, so
stocking up isn't hard.

A short while after picking up a piece of chocolate, the piece will respawn, so
you can always head back and refill your health with ease.


Throughout the game, you'll encounter packs of bills with eyes. Walk near one
and Conker's eyes will turn into dollar signs. Conker will grab and pocket the
bills and say something funny. You'll need money to pay some of the characters
in the game for their services. Fortunately for you, Conker whistles his money
back to him, so you'll never really lose any bills.

You can find cash in alcoves and on roofs as well as in many other places. If
you press the start button, you can view how much money you have. The cash wads
usually come in packs of 100. However, one pack is only worth 10 dollars.

                            Pads, Switches, and Misc.

                              Context Buttons/Zones

After meeting Mr. Birdy, you can activate context zones and context buttons.
Throughout the game, you'll find pads with the letter B on them. A lightbulb
will appear above Conker's head if you stand on it (sometimes this happens just
anywhere, without the pad). Press B and something will happen that allows you to
complete the task at hand. If a lightbulb doesn't appear when you stand on a pad
, it means you have to complete some other task before using the pad.


                                   Frying Pan

Found in: Room with key in training area

After entering the room with the key in the first chapter, Conker will remember
how to use his frying pan. Press B and he'll swing it. You'll stop moving for a
second, so you can't swipe the pan while running. The frying pan is used to
temporarily stun strange objects like corn or cheese. They're pretty fast, so
you have to be close before pressing B. You can then move into it to grab hold
of it and take it to other places.


Found in: Several locations

You'll have to pay Birdy ten dollars for this (though Conker whistles it back).
Press B while on the context button to take them out and shoot the nearby
beetles. To shoot, press Z. Use the control stick to aim. You have an unlimited
amount of shots.


Found in: Various locations

Sometimes, usually when Conker jumps off of a seemingly dangerous plank or
ledge, a lightbulb will appear. Press B to turn into an anvil and crash
downward. This can sometimes hurt enemies, smash open ledges, or activate


Found in: Top of Franky's barn/inside Bats Tower

This is your weapon that you'll use against Barry and the other bats in certain
areas. Press B when the lightbulb appears just after you hear a squeak and
Conker will torch the bat with a flamethrower.


Found in: Area above Franky's barn/under the barn after killing the Haybot

While in the correct context zones in the barn areas, press B to take out some
knives. You have an unlimited supply. Press Z to throw them, allowing you to cut
ropes and cords. Use the control stick to aim.

                                  Toilet Paper

Found in: Great Mighty Poo battle

In the Great Mighty Poo battle, stand on the context buttons not covered with
poo and press B to take out a roll of toilet paper. When the Great Mighty Poo
opens his mouth to sing, press B to throw the roll into his mouth and cause
damage. If you want to put the toilet paper away, press Z.


Found in: Beginning of Spooky chapter

When you meet Gregg trying to kill the catfish in the Spooky chapter, he'll give
you a shotgun to deal with the zombies up ahead. Press B to take it out, hold R
to go into aiming mode, and press Z to shoot. You can't hurt yourself, so it's
all good. Press A to reload. While in aiming mode, hold Z to use a laser-
targetting feature. If you want to put the gun away, press B.


Found in: Count Batula's mansion

After killing Count Batula, press B while standing on context buttons in a
couple places in the mansion to take out a bow, letting you kill bats. Press Z
to fire, hold Z to use the laser targetting, and press B to put the bow away.

                                 Dual Shotguns

Found in: Beach in It's War! chapter

At the end of the beach in the It's War! chapter, Conker will loot two shotguns
off of a dead soldier's body. Press B to take out the guns and Z to shoot. You
can hold R to aim and hold Z to use a laser-target. Press B to put the guns
away. The shotguns will let you kill the Tediz throughout the chapter.

                                  Machine Gun

Found in: Room in It's War! chapter

You'll have to shoot the Tediz operating the machine gun chair with a bazooka.
Then, you can hop into the chair and press Z to fire powerful bullets at the
Tediz while using the control stick to turn the chair.


Found in: Several times in It's War! chapter

There are a couple parts of chapter eight in which you'll get to use a bazooka.
When you can, press B to take it out/put it away, hold R to aim, and press Z to
fire. The Bazooka fires considerably slower than the shotgun.

| 3e                               Enemy List                             ENEM |


                                 Difficulty : *

You'll encounter a huge, living gargoyle at the top of the first chapter. Once
you get the frying pan, whack him to make him fall off the bridge, allowing you
to continue.


                                Difficulty : **

You'll find a group of wasps guarding the beehive in the Windy chapter. If you
want to return the hive, you'll have to keep moving or the wasps will sting you
and force you to start over. There are also wasps guarding the ladders leading
up to the top of the Barn Boys chapter.

                                 Dung Beetles

                                Difficulty : **

Dung beetles hang out on ledges in the Windy area and around the ledge leading
up Poo Mountain. The mountain ones you can just avoid, but the ledge ones you
must shoot with your slingshot to head up the slope they're guarding.


                                Difficulty : ***

Worms will pop out of nowhere on the path leading up to the windmill in Windy
and the path leading to Count Batula's house. If you run quickly, you can easily
run into them and get hurt, so move slowly and highjump over them when they pop
out of the ground.


                                Difficulty : **

Large metal blocks guard the path to the cheese farm in the Barn Boys chapter.
Wait for them to jump, then rush under them before they land to avoid getting
hurt. You'll find a crate variation of these at the start of the It's War!

                                Barry and Buddies

                                Difficulty : ***

Along very narrow ledges at the top of the Barn Boys barn and the path leading
up the inside of Bats Tower, you'll encounter Barry the bat and his bat friends.
When you reach the context zone, press B after you hear a squeak to torch the
bats and kill them. Larger bats are also found guarding keys in Count Batula's
house after killing the count.


                                 Difficulty : **

In the Bats Tower chapter, you'll find a bullfish at the end of the river. If
you get too close, he'll bite you. After he gets loose later on, you'll have to
swim through the river before he bites you.


                                 Difficulty : **

Imps are found in various locations, mostly in Bats Tower and Windy. They look
like green dudes in metallic armor. You can't kill them with your frying pan or
anything, so just avoid them (sometimes you can kill them with a special weapon
or item).


                                Difficulty : ****

Clangs, which are eyeballs swimming around in Clang's lair, an area in Bats
Tower, will try to bite you. You can point your flashlight helmet at them to
blind them for a VERY short time, so swim past them quickly.

                                    Fire Imps

                                 Difficulty : **

Fire Imps are found at the end of the safe in the Bats Tower chapter. To kill
them, drink beer from the keg and press B to start pissing on them. They'll run
to run under you and burn you, so you'll have to be careful. If you want to
extend your piss stream, hold Z. Use the control stick to turn around and aim.
After a while, Conker will get a hangover, so you'll need to get some alka-
seltzer from the medicine cabinet.

                                    Uga Buga

                                 Difficulty : *

Uga Bugas are the cavemen patrolling the Uga Buga chapter of the game. There's
no way to kill them, so just avoid them (it's easy as they're quite slow).


                               Difficulty : *****

Raptors patrol the building at the start of the Uga Buga chapter. You can only
avoid them. You'll also be attacked by one (though you'll have to hipnotize it
to eat the cavemen) in an arena at the end of the chapter. Press B to headbutt.
Walk into a caveman to grab him by the mouth, then press Z to swallow.


                                Difficulty : ****

Zombies are found in the Spooky chapter (in the graveyard and in Count Batula's
house after destroying the said count). They'll try to run towards you and
attack you. The only way to kill them is to use the shotgun Gregg gives you to
shoot them in the head. If you shoot them anywhere else, they'll merely bounce


                                Difficulty : ***

Villagers are mice patrolling Count Batula's house. You have to, as a bat, pick
them up (hold B to fly) and press Z to drop bat poo on them. This will stun them
for a while and allow you to pick them up. You can then fly to the room where
Count Batula is hanging and drop them in the grinder, allowing Batula to feed on
their blood. Once he's had too much, he'll fall off his cord and be grinded


                               Difficulty : ****

Tediz are evil teddy bears found throughout the Its War! chapter. Use your dual
shotguns to shoot them in the head and kill them. If you shoot them anywhere
else, they won't die.


                               Difficulty : ****

You'll find subs in the waters surrounding the area the little girl is in in the
Its War! chapter. Shoot them with a bazooka while they're not firing missiles at
you to get rid of them.

                                  Bank Guards

                                Difficulty : ***

Bank Guards are found throughout the Feral Reserve Bank in the Heist chapter.
Use the B button pads behind the pillars to Matrix glide through the air and
shoot them with a crosshair in slow motion. Of course, you can be shot too.
Since you have no control over Conker's pre-determined flying motion, you have
to press B on the pad at the right time.

| 3f                             Character List                         CHARAC |


Conker is a heavy-drinking, materialistic red squirrel that you play as in the
game. He drinks beer, gets the hot girls, and grabs all the money he can find.


Berri, Conker's curvaceous girlfriend, is seen in the opening sequence. You
don't see her again until a cut-scene about halfway through the game. In the
Rock Solid club, you'll have to break her cage open. The last time you see her
is at the Feral Reserve Bank, where she'll assist you in robbing said bank.

                                The Panther King

The Panther King, ruler of all the land and master of his castle, treats his
subjects will cruelty. His table, which is missing a leg, falls over whenever he
places his milk on it. This creates a problem for Conker because a red squirrel
is the only thing that can possibly fill the gap. Of course, a rich king cannot
be arsed to go out and buy another damn table.

                                 The Professor

The professor, a personal scientist of the Panther King, lives only to sort out
the king's problems with the power of science. He flies around in a hovering
chair with no legs. The professor is the one that determines the only thing that
can fill the gap in the king's table is a red squirrel.

                           The Panther King's Guards

The Panther King's guards watch over to the entrance to the Uga Buga chapter and
appear in a few cut-scenes. Conker fools one of them into thinking that he is an
elephant, allowing him to get past them.


Birdy is a scarecrow found in a couple places in the beginning of the game. He
will teach you how to use context pads and sell you a manual for the more
complex stuff.

                             Gregg the Grim Reaper

Gregg, the very short grim reaper, will appear when you die to explain the life
system (grab squirrel tails for extra lives to prevent yourself from dying). He
also appears in the Spooky chapter to give you a shotgun.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (04)           |      I. Hungover       |         CHAPTER1         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 4a                             Scaredy Birdy                        CHPT1P01 |

In the opening cut-scene, Conker leaves his girlfriend, Berri, a trick message
saying that he's with some guys who are off to "fight some war or something".
Conker proceeds to get drunk and wander off in the direction opposite his home.
In a throne room of a distant castle, the Panther King is mad because his table
has a missing leg, causing his milk to spill. Conker wakes up in some forest or
something with a horrible hangover, giving you your first objective.

At the start, head forward and around the farm patch's fence. You'll move very
slowly while hungover and you can barely jump either. At the other side, go
through the opening in the fence and head to the middle of the patch, where you
will meet Birdy the scarecrow. Conker asks him for help, to which Birdy replies
that Conker should step over behind him. Head to the B button pad behind Birdy
and the scarecrow will explain that they're called context sensitive. He'll tell
you to press B when a lightbulb appears and makes a ting noise. A lightbulb will
appear above Conker's head, so press B. Conker takes out a beer, which Birdy
snatches and drinks. He'll tell you to try it again outside the patch or do it
again here. You can press B two more times on the same pad to take out helium
and beer (Birdy will go to bed after drinking both). Head back outside the farm
patch using the exit Birdy opens for you and press B on the pad. Conker takes
out an alka-seltzer, which cures his hangover. He'll realize that these give him
just what he needs in that moment in time. Understand now? It's sensitive to the
context of what you need. Clevuh. Conker tells you you can skip cut-scenes,
assuming you've already seen them, by pressing L.

You can now run at normal speed and press A to jump at a normal height. Run over
to the water and swim to the ledge at the top of the waterfall. You can't get
hurt at all in the training area, so don't worry if you fall off the ledge.
Conker will remember that you can hold Z and press A to do a highjump and press
A while in the air to do a tailspin, letting you hover to cross gaps and break
falls. Be warned, Conker can't tailspin forever, so you can fall. Okay, tailspin
to the log nearby. Head up the path and tailspin across a few more gaps. At the
top, you'll reach a bridge. Ignore it for now and highjump to pull the key near
the bridge, opening a door. Head back across the gaps and go into the door once
you find it.

| 4b                              Pan Handled                         CHPT1P02 |

Chase the key around in this room until the door closes, at which point Conker
will remember that you can press B to swipe a frying pan. You'll stop for a
second when you do so, so you'll need to be near your target. Run up to the key
and smash it with the pan to stun it, then pick it up and take it towards the
door to open it up. Head back outside the door. Tailspin across the gaps until
you reach the top of the path, then head to the bridge, where you'll meet a

| 4c                               Gargoyle                           CHPT1P03 |

The gargoyle will explain that he's been sitting on a piece of gothic
architecture for 200 hundred years and only just got comfy on the bridge, so
he's not moving to let you cross. Conker will remark that it's a bit early in
the day to be talking about gothic architecture, so the gargoyle says if he
comes a bit closer, they can discuss things of another nature. Approach the
gargoyle and press B to whack it with your frying pad. The gargoyle will laugh
at the fact that you actually tried a frying pan, but this causes him to lose
his balance and fall off the bridge to the bottom of the waterfall. He dies, but
a huge boulder falls and blocks the opening at the end of the bridge.

Highjump onto the top of the rock, then tailspin to the wooden ledge on your
right. Use the context button to take out a dynamite with plunger. Conker will
use it to blow up the rocks, so tailspin back and head into the passage.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (05)           |   II. Windy (Pt. 1)    |         CHPT2PT1         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 5a                                Mrs Bee                           CHPT2P01 |

NOTE: This is the first area where Conker will be able to collect health.
However, you won't be able to get extra lives until you die. This FAQ assumes
you have already died or killed yourself, allowing you to collect squirrel's

After entering the chapter, a cut-scene will show that a professor in a floating
chair goes to the Panther King's throne room. The king shows that the professor
must fix his three-legged table. The professor says he will do what he can, but
will require a bit of time. The king tells the professor not to take too long
and threatens him with duct tape. In the professor's lab, he swears about the
king and looks for something that might help. He knocks a bunch of antigravity
chocolate out the window.

The chocolate will land in front directly in front of Conker. Head down the path
and collect the chocolate to boost your health up to the maximum of six. At the
bottom of the path you'll find a sign with two directions, naught and nice.
Behind the sign is a squirrel tail. Follow the nice path to the right and you'll
meet Mrs. Bee. She's crying because a group of wasps stole the beehive. Conker
agrees to get it for her and asks where it is. Mrs. Bee merely tells him to
follow the signs. Head backward and take the naughty path this time. Go up the
slope to where you'll find some yellow goop surrounding the grass. You'll walk
slowly on this. Head up the path until you reach and area with a beehive. Grab
it and three wasps will come out to try and attack you. Rush down the path
(don't stop moving baby, don't stop moving, wiggle, wiggle or you'll get hurt
and the wapss will most likely steal the hive back) and avoid the sticky crap.
Continue down the path until you reach Mrs. Bee again. Conker will throw the
hive to her and she'll fly into it. From the hive, she will shoot the three
wasps and kill them.

Mrs. Bee thanks "Mr. Squirrel" (get used to this, as Conker doesn't tell anyone
his name) for his efforts and comments that none of it would have happened if it
weren't for her good-for-nothing husband, who, not suprisingly, ran off with
another woman. As a reward for your good services to the bee community, Mrs. Bee
presents Conker with...a big fat wad of CASH ($100).

After you have your money, head over to the sign again. Follow the naughty path
until you reach the place where you find the hive. Tailspin across the river
below to where you'll find a gray metallic B button pad. The beetles on the
ledges up the slope are angered by your presence, but decide to wait for you.
Stand on the pad and Birdy will appear. He'll tells you you need a manual to use
this particular B button pad. However, it'll cost you ten dollars. Birdy will
hand you the manual after Conker forks over ten bucks. As Birdy leaves, the
bills run back to Conker. Now press B and Conker will start reading the manual.
Manuals will tell you how to use more complex zones. If you want to use the zone
again but need the manual, press L and B. To skip it, just press B. Use the
control stick to aim your slingshot and press B to fire. Now shoot all the
beetles on the ledges on the slope ahead. After shooting one, it will fly up.
Shoot it again to kill it before it hurts you. Once they're all gone, a door at
the top of the slope opens. Head up the slope and Conker will discover a fork in
the path. Take the right path.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (06)           |     III. Barn Boys     |         CHAPTER3         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 6a                                 Marvin                           CHPT3P01 |

In his lab, the professor is putting together an experiment to figure out ze
problem with ze table. Clevuh. The professor sees ze problem and realizes zhere
is a... a... (a gap, maybe?). He decides to do some experiments to sort it
out. And when the Tediz are ready, the king and professor will see who uses ze
duct tape.

Go forward at the start of this barn area and cross the river. Turn right, then
look on your left and talk to the two blocks sitting on top of each other. Jack,
the man on the bottom, demands that Conker make the fat ass bitch on top of him
get off pronto. Conker asks what he'll do for him. Jack replies that he'll maybe
help him if Conker can also get rid of the smelly rat polluting (no joke) the
small area with his toxic farts and burps. Jack also tells Conker that if he
runs into Burt, he should just mention his name and everything will be good.

Take the left path from the start now. Head along the ledge above the greenish
river and run under the blocks bouncing up and down when they jump to avoid
getting hit. Talk to Burt, the block on the ground by the cheese farm, at the
end and he'll open the gate for you just because you mentioned Jack. Whack one
of the pieces of cheese here and pick it up. Now head back along the ledge with
the bouncing blocks. If you get hit, you'll drop the cheese, so stick to the
right side of the ledge where there's a small safe spot. Continue along the path
under the area with the four posts until you reach Jack again. Walk over to the
mouse and feed him the cheese. Marvin, the mouse, will ask for another. Keep
going back and feed Marvin two more pieces of cheese. After he's had three total
, he will explode, which makes the lady on top of Jack fall off. Jack thanks you
and tells you there's something "real neat" inside the barn. You've just got to
open it first.

Hop up the two blocks, then jump up the pipes. Jump to the roof and run to the
wooden part, where you'll find a switch. Step on it to open the barn. Now grab
the CASH ($200) in front of you. Jump off the edge of the roof and tailspin to
avoid losing health. You'll see a wooden crate hopping around a circular
platform. Go to your right and you should see the barn door on your left. Head

| 6b                             Mad Pitchfork                        CHPT3P02 |

Conker will ask what is "real neat" inside the barn, as he can't see it himself.
Unless some guys jumping around stinking of horse poo is neat, which of course
it isn't. One haystack says this is pretty neat. The doors close behind Conker
and a paint pot over in the back of the room will tell Franky the pitchfork that
it's his turn to kick this guys ass. However, Franky wants you to come over to
him. Run over to the where the paint pot and brush are and Conker will insult
Franky, starting the battle.

Head over to the haystacks. Position yourself so you, Franky, and a haystack are
lined up and Franky will charge forward and destroy the haystack. If you line
yourself improperly, he'll poke Conker and you'll lose a piece of chocolate.
Some haystacks are smaller than others, making them harder to kill. After all
they're are gone, the paint pot and brush will tell Franky his kick ass sucked.
Franky takes their suggestion of killing himself.

Unfortunately, his attempt to hang himself doesn't work, as he doesn't have a
neck of any description. His "friends" continue to mock him for his idiocy. Now
head over to the wall opposite the entrance. Go to the corner and highjump to
pull the switch, opening a door near the ceiling and causing a bee to fall
outside. Leave the barn. A cut-scene shows after you leave about a giant
haystack entering the room. The haystack claims his nemesis is defeated.

| 6c                               Sunny Days                         CHPT3P03 |

Head over to the circular platform where a wooden crate is bouncing around and
talk to the bee that fell out of the barn. He asks Conker if he could spare him
a dime, but gets ignored. The bee tells Conker that in his own country he's a
king, but his wife (Mrs. Bee) threw him out. The hive keeps getting stolen, but
he doesn't care and he's been reduced to a bum. Conker decides to leave and not
help the bee, but the bee tells Conker about the big-breasted babe, which gets
his attention. The bee wants to "pollinate" the babe (who is a sunflower, as a
cut-scene will show). The bee gets Conker to help him by offering him cash if he

Go past the wooden crate hopping around and follow the narrow path above the
water until you reach the sunflower, who tells Conker to stop tickling her with
his bushy tail. After the cut-scene, go back to the platform where the wooden
crate is. Talk to the bees in the center, who are tickly BEES (1).. We're going
to get all five sets of bees before going to the sunflower. The bees follow you,
so head past the wooden crate and over to the cheese farm. Jump onto the big
cheese piece and start jumping around the giant cheeses around the farm. You'll
find some BEES (2). Now head over to the metal blocks past the cheese farm. Get
past them and you'll be by the start, so highjump just by the start to find more
BEES (3). Turn around and head to where you fed Marvin the cheese. Climb up the
blocks and pipes, then jump to the roof where you opened the barn. Just by where
you got the cash you'll find some BEES (4). Now turn around and you'll see a
steeper roof. Highjump to the top from the less steep part and head near the
edge, where you'll find a ladder. Climb it and you'll reach the top of a giant
bucket. Carefully head around to the other side where you'll find more BEES (5).

Go back and climb down the ladder. Head to the less steep roof and tailspin to
where Jack is. Opposite Jack you'll see the platform where the wooden crate is
bouncing around. Highjump to it, then follow the path by the water to reach the
sunflower. All the bees will tickle her and the bee will come to pollinate her,
complete with disturbing sex sounds. Now use the flowers breasts to bounce up
into an alcove below. You need to bounce several times in succession, so I
recommend you just tailspin right after bouncing. In the alcove you'll find some
CASH ($300). Follow the path back to where the wooden crate is. Highjump on top
of the crate when it's near the barn, then highjump to the ledge on the barn
wall and head into the opening.

| 6d                               Barry + Co                         CHPT3P04 |

You'll meet a bunch of bats who are here to kill you. One of them is named
Barry. Carefully head across the very narrow beams. A lightbulb will appear.
After hearing a squeak, press B and Conker will take out a flamethrower. If you
time it correctly, you'll torch the bat. Head along the left beam once you kill
the three bats. Now use the B button pad to take out some knives. Press Z to
throw them, trying to cut the rope hanging Franky. Once you hit it, Franky will
fall to the bottom of the barn. Tailspin down to where he is after putting away
the knives by pressing B. The paint pot points out that the brush repeats
everything he says and Franky thanks Conker for helping him. Conker asks what
they're going to do about the giant haystack man you saw when you left the barn.
Conker puts the brush in the paint pot, then agrees to hop on Franky to fight
the haystack.

| 6e                                Buff You                          CHPT3P05 |

                                 Boss - Haybot

                               Difficulty : 3/10

After hopping on Franky, head over to where the giant haystack is. Try to circle
him until you get behind him, then press B to have Franky stick him with his
fork. If you try it from his front, it won't work and he'll punch you back. You
will also get knocked off Franky, forcing you to jump back on him. After
sticking him, he'll be engulfed in flames. After you hit him again, he'll show
his robot eye and target Conker. Give him a third poke and the haybot will throw
a fit. He'll slam the ground, causing the floor to break. Conker, Franky, and
the haybot will all fall into the pit below.

| 6f                              Haybot Wars                         CHPT3P06 |

Conker falls to the ground and busts his leg. Franky celebrates that they
defeated the haybot, but now you'll have to face his fully robotic form. The
haybot takes out suzie 9mm's and will start firing missiles at you. They home in
on you, so it can be a bit tricky to avoid them. A sure-fire way to avoid
getting hit is to stand behind one of the giant tanks in the room. You'll also
find chocolate behind one of them. When the battle begins, get away from the
haybot (he chases you when you're near). As the missiles come, jump just before
they hit. Now go near the haybot and look around for a pipe with water coming
out of it. Lure the haybot over to the water and he'll malfunction. He'll
retreat to the center of the room and start spinning around. Go near it and wait
for it's back to face you, then jump and press B to smash the DO NOT PUSH
button. One of the robot's arms will explode.

Continue dodging missiles as they fire and lure the haybot to the water. If you
need some more chocolate, head behind the pipes to get some. You have to dodge
the missiles before one of the pipes starts leaking. The number of missiles you
have to dodge increases each time. After pressing the red button two more times,
the haybot will explode. Though the robot is gone, Franky has been split in two
by the explosion. Fortunately for him, Conker tapes the pitchfork together with
tape. However, the entire place floods with water. Franky abandons Conker,
leaving you to escape on your own. There are also electrical wires you'll have
to be careful of.

| 6g                             Frying Tonight                       CHPT3P07 |

Rush over to the pipe where you found the two chocolate pieces. Climb the ladder
behind it and you'll find a B button pad. The water level will soon rise to
where you are. Use the pad to take out your knives, then cut the wire just next
to you. Now cut the wire dangling from the pipe behind you. On your right side
you'll find another wire. After cutting it, swim across from the context pad and
climb the ladder on the next tank. Take out your knives and cut the wires on
your left and right, followed by the wire all the way across the room. The water
raises one last time, so swim over to the other side of the room and look for
a ledge. Hop onto it and exit this area.

You'll meet the monk dude with the stone that Conker puked on in the opening
sequence. Hop onto his stone and he'll get mad, propelling you upward to a
ledge. Get the chocolate if you need it, then go to the left side and grab the
CASH ($400). Now leave the barn.

| 6h                               Slam Dunk                          CHPT3P08 |

Climb the ladder just next to you (it's very long) to reach a platform. Climb
past the platform and you'll find a wasp. Rush past it when the bee flies past
the ladder to avoid getting stung, which will knock you to the platform below.
Head up the next ladder past a bee. Climb past a platform and past more wasps
where you'll reach a diving board (don't look down). Jump off it to where the
chocolate pieces are and you'll see a lightbulb. Press B to turn into and anvil.
Conker will slam down into the bucket below and hit the B button pad, which
opens a gate near the bottom of the level.

Climb the ladder in the bucket, then find the ladder leading down. Head down it
to reach the roof. Hop to the less steep roof, then tailspin to where Jack is.
Turn around and hop into the nearby green river. Follow the river westward and
you'll see the gate that opened. Go into the tunnel and you'll find a squirrel's
tail plus some CASH ($500). Continue following the tunnel and head past the
valley under the blocks by the cheese farm. When the ground becomes low enough,
hop to your right and go forward over to the exit. Leave the Barn Boys chapter.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (07)           |    II. Windy (Pt. 2)   |         CHPT2PT2         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 7a                               Poo Cabin                          CHPT2P02 |

Make a left U-turn and take the left path that you ignored before. Head forward
and Conker will take out a gas mask due to the horrible stink. Go over to the
cabin and push the door open.

In the Panther King's castle, the professor barges into the throne room just as
the king begins to become impatient. He has discovered that the gap in the table
causes the milk to spill when it is placed on it. The only thing that can fit in
the gap is a red squirrel. The king orders his guards to find him one.

Inside the cabin, you'll meet a dung beetle. The beetle wants you to make the
cows crap so he can make a ball of poo for you. Stand on the trapdoor and press
B to make Conker smash it open as an anvil. Head forward and jump onto the rope
at the end of the hallway. Climb upward and jump to the nearby rope, then jump
and tailspin to the rope on the other side of the room (it's near a pipe pouring
out poo). Jump to the next rope. Above the third rope is a beam. When the poo
pouring down is out of the way (if you get hit by it, it will knock you to the
bottom and you'll have fall through the trapdoor again), tailspin to the beam
and head into the new pathway. On your left you should see another opening.
Tailspin to it and follow the path to the exit.

| 7b                                 Pruned                           CHPT2P03 |

You come to an outside area where a bull is sitting. The bull becomes enraged by
Conker's red fur and starts chasing him. Make a left U-turn and you should see a
path leading up. Poo balls are rolling down, so you'll have to be careful. Head
up, jumping over the poo balls as you go. After highjumping up a few ledges,
you'll reach a nearby barrel. Now go over to the metal circle nearby and run in
the direction the arrow is pointing to make it turn. Prune juice will pour into
a trough below. Conker realizes that anything that drinks that will have to take
a crap. A target comes out of the wall below, giving Conker an idea.

| 7c                                Yee Haa!                          CHPT2P04 |

Head back down the path (if you jump off from the prune juice circle, you'll
die) until you reach the bottom. Now go around the area until you find the
target. The bull is much faster than you, so you have to jump over it. Stand in
front of the target and highjump over the bull when it comes to hit the target.
A target on a wall will come out and a cow will walk out of a shed to graze on
some grass. Head over to the target on the wall and stand in front of it.
Highjump over the bull when it comes and it will get its horns stuck in the
wall. Jump onto its back.

To charge, press B. If you get too close to the edge, he'll throw you off, so be
careful. Ride him to the cow and press B to charge into the cow. She'll decide
to go over to the prune juice and have a drink. However, that makes her take a
crap on the grate in the middle. Now charge her with the bull while she's
shitting and she'll explode. Keep doing this. Each time you have to hit antoher
normal target to get the next cow out. The second cow takes two hits to get her
to drink, while the third takes three. Once you've killed three cows total, the
bull will break the poo grate and fall into the pit. Hop in there yourself.

| 7d                              Sewage Sucks                        CHPT2P05 |

The whole place is pretty much flooded with crap now. Swim around the room, then
head through the alcove you'll find to another watery room. Jump into the alcove
here and you'll find a context button. Use it to swallow some confidence pills,
which let Conker get rid of his swimmies. He takes out a manual. It explains
that to dive under, press B. Hold B and move the control stick to swim around
while keeping an eye on the Conker face that appears on the screen. Once his
face turns blue, he'll eventually start losing all his health.

Go back into the room you dropped into when you jumped into the poo grate and
swim directly downward. You'll find the area with all the ropes. Look for a
ledge near the bottom in the middle of a poo waterfall and look across from it
to see an opening. Swim through it to reach the exit. At the end, turn around
and you'll see some CASH ($600) in an alcove. Swim back into the rope room and
into the pit below. You appear back at the start of the cabin, so head out the

| 7e                           Great Balls of Poo                     CHPT2P06 |

The dung beetle outside will point to the poo ball next to the cabin. You can do
whatever you want with it now. Take the poo ball and push it to the other side
of the cabin. You should see a big slope leading up the giant mountain, called
Poo Mountain. Start pushing the poo up the slope. Along the way, you'll
encounter dung beetles. Wait for them to sleep in the alcoves, then push the poo
balls past them. At the top of the slope, Conker will put a stick of TNT into
the poo ball and push it onto the large beetle below. The beetle swallows the
poo ball by accident, causing him to explode. Another poo ball appears outside
the cabin.

Head down Poo Mountain until you reach the bottom. Go to the other side of the
cabin and start pushing the next poo ball. This time, go up the slope on the
same side of the cabin as the poo ball. You'll have to turn around to see it.
Push it up, rushing past the dung beetles when they go in their alcoves. Push
the poo ball into the hole at the top and it will roll down inside the mountain
and crash through a bunch of planks boarding up an entrance at the bottom.
Highjump on top of the moutain, then quickly jump again to reach the top, where
you'll find a wad of CASH ($700).

Take the path down Poo Mountain again to find your next poo ball. Push it past
the slope you just went up, following the river around the bottom of the
mountain. Push it off the edge of the poo river and it will land on the head of
an armored imp standing on a ledge by a lake. Jump into the lake and head to
your right, avoiding the imps swimming around. You'll find the poo balled imp,
so stand on the switch by him and press B to turn into anvil. Conker will hit
the switch and cause the a drain in the water to open, killing the two imps in
the water. Now head to the back of the lake and you'll find the entrance to the
next chapter.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (08)           |     IV. Bats Tower     |         CHAPTER4         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 8a                               Mrs Catfish                        CHPT4P01 |

You appear in an area with a long river. Conker meets a group of catfish who ask
Conker to help them with the nasty bullfish who's stolen their fortune. The
catfish ask Conker to get rid of him, but he only agrees when offered ten
percent of the money. The safe with the money has a combination that the catfish
will enter once it's safe. Head forward, following the river. Swim down until
you reach the end, where you'll find the bullfish in a small area. Press B to
dive under, then swim into the hole next to the dogfish.

| 8b                               Barry's Mate                       CHPT4P02 |

Swim through the path until you reach a place where you can surface. Head onto
the ground and you'll be a huge circular tower. Go to the right side of the room
and talk to the cog on the wall. He tells you to either find his missing cogs or
**** off, but Conker turns him around to reveal his nice, gay side. The gay side
asks Conker to find the mean side's "friends" or else his life will be a misery.
An elevator thing lowers nearby. Head over to it and ride it up to a ledge going
around the room , where you'll find Barry and the other bats again. Head along
the ledge, then cross the narrow plank. When you hear the squeak, press B while
the lightbulb is above your head to torch the bat. At the end, go along a ledge
and jump to the rope. Climb up to another plank. Keep going up the tower,
killing the bats as you head along the planks. The planks after the first one
are much narrower. When you reach a half plank at the top, climb the rope that
got you there and at the top, you should see another rope near it. Jump to that
rope, then climb up and tailspin to the top of the tower. Tailspin across the
ledges on top of the tower to your right. Avoid the imps as you go until you
find a wad of CASH ($800).

Make your way back to the wooden ledge sticking off the tower, then jump to the
rope and tailspin to the top platform. Go along the half plank and face the
tower wall. You should see a switch above a cobweb. Tailspin to the switch,
which Conker will pull. A gate will open in the water that you were in when you
entered and you'll fall in the cobweb. Tailspin to a platform below, then make
your way down the tower. Once you reach the bottom, head to the water and swim
down. Just under the floor is the gate you opened.

| 8c                              Cogs' Revenge                       CHPT4P03 |

Swim through the pipe, avoiding the imps as you go. Once you surface, you'll be
in a tiny circular room. Going around it is a red cog. Try to run right into it,
then slam it with your frying pan before it gets away. Pick it up and swim back
through the pipe, avoiding the imps. Head to the floor, then go to the right
side of the room and place the red lady COG (1) next to the evil cog. Swim back
through the pipe with the imps to the room where you got the cog. This time,
turn around and head through the pathway above the imp tunnel to find a larger
room. Smack the green or blue cog with your pan (these ones are a bit harder),
then go back and swim through the imp pipe. Head over to the mean cog and place
the COG (2) by him. Head back through the imp pipe one more time. Go into the
larger room with the two cogs and smack the other cog, then take it back through
the imp tunnel. Head over to the mean cog and place the COG (3) near him.

Now head to the center of the room and you'll find a big circle. Run around it
to make it start spinning, like with the prune juice thing. Mr. Big Cog and all
the other cogs will start spinning. After a while, the rope tying the dogfish
will contract, trapping him to a very small area. The wheel inside begins to
spin so fast that Conker can't control it anymore. He jumps and the mean cog
falls off the wall. The lady cogs beat him up and put him on Mr. Big Cog as
punishment. The mean cog turns around and the nice one tells Conker that the
problem outside has been taken care of. The red cog thanks you and heads off to
the Caribbean with her friends after kissing Conker. Jump into the water nearby
and swim to the exit.

| 8d                             The Combination                      CHPT4P04 |

Head along the river, swimming past the waterfalls and the dogfish. Once you
reach the catfish, Conker will ask for the combination. However, the catfish
insist on opening it themselves. Swim through the river again to the bullfish as
the catfish follow you from behind. A few imps are now in the river, so you'll
have to be careful. Once you reach the safe, the catfish will switch the WRONG
to RIGHT, which is the combination...Head into the safe now that it's open.

| 8e                               Blast Doors                        CHPT4P05 |

Conker will wake up the money, who declares that Conker isn't his boss. The
money hops into the water below to swim with the fish. A door closes over the
water and a B button pad comes out, so use it to take out your slingshot. Face
the end of the room, where you'll see a pinwheel. The object is to shoot the
letters of the word OPEN in order. If you mess up, one of the imps will attack
you, but you can shoot them with your slingshot to knock them back. While the
letter you're aiming for is covered up, shoot around the wheel so you can figure
out where to aim, then shoot once the letter is open. After spelling out open,
the trapdoor will open, so hop into the water. Use the B button pad to take out
a flashlight helmet, then swim into the tunnel below.

| 8f                               Clang's Lair                       CHPT4P06 |

This can be pretty frustrating, as you can easily lose your oxygen while trying
to navigate the confusing passages. You'll find Clangs, which are giant eyeballs
, throughout the level. You can use the flashlight helmet to blind them for a
very short time, so you can quickly rush past them. At the start, swim down a
tiny bit and you should see an alcove. There's a bubble pocket here for you to
refill your oxygen. Swim directly downward and blind the Clang, then go past it.
You'll find a few more air pockets as you head down. At the very bottom, use the
air pocket and look around for two green light tunnels. Swim through the top one
and blind the Clang, then surface at the top of this room. Use the context pad
to replace the batteries for your helmet.

Swim to the left side of the room to find two blue light tunnels. Head through
the top one and surface in the next room. On your left you should see a switch.
Pull it to open a nearby tunnel. Swim down and look for a green tunnel. Swim
through it, avoiding the Clang. Surface at the top of the room and use the B
button pad to replace your batteries again. Now hop into the water and swim to
the northwest part of the room to find two yellow light tunnels. Swim through
the top one, blind the Clang, then swim upward through the long shaft. Along the
way, blind the Clang and use the air pockets to refill your oxygen. At the top,
you'll finally reach land. There's a huge pit here, so drop into it.

| 8g                                Pisstastic                        CHPT4P07 |

Head forward and you'll be shown a cut-scene of two fire imps who are smoking.
Conker drops down and the fire imps decide to try and burn him as he looks kinda
flaaammable. After the scene, you should see a B button pad where the flame guys
were. Use it to drink beer from the keg, making Conker drunk. Now head forward
into the open area and press B to start pissing. Hold Z to extend your piss
stream. Try to pee as much as you can on the fire imps. When one jumps over you,
quickly pee on him before he creeps up on you and burns you. Eventually, Conker
will stop and get a hangover. Head to the left side of the room and look for a
B button pad near the back. Use it to take out some alka-seltzer and cure your
hangover. Get drunk again and continue peeing on the fire imps. Once there are
only two of them left, they'll hop into a boiler to start the real boss fight.
The boiler will grow giant brass balls.

| 8h                               Brass Monkey                       CHPT4P08 |

                                  Boss - Boiler

                                Difficulty : 2/10

This is quite easy, as you can see. Head to one of the corners of the room and
you'll find a switch above the corner. Near the pipe thing that the switch is
above you'll see a grate. Wait until the boiler comes over and stands on the
grate, then highjump to pull the switch, pouring poo on the boiler. He'll be
stunned and will retreat backward. Quickly run up to him and go near his crotch.
Press B to smack his balls with bricks, which will raise the pressure dial.

Keep doing this. After using one switch, it will disappear, so you'll have to
use all four corners. Be careful of the boiler's flame breath that it will use
on you when it gets near. After you've smacked it four times, Conker will whup
its balls with bricks and his frying pan. The boiler collapses after his balls
fall off. The fire imps try to escape but instead press the self-destruct
button. Alright, now take the boiler's ball and push it over to the right side
of the room. You should see a weird looking switch tile on the floor. Put the
ball on it to open up a door near it. Remember to avoid the flame guys, as they
still are here. Now take the other ball and push it over to the switch. This
time, roll it down the newly opened path to kill the imp. Head through the path
and to the exit.

| 8i                            Bullfish's Revenge                    CHPT4P09 |

Head forward and grab the CASH ($900), then leave the safe. Once outside, the
catfish ask for their money so they can give you your dollar. But that means...
their fortune was only ten dollars? The new deal is you keep the lot ($910).
While the catfish argue over this, the dogfish comes loose, creating a bigger

Hop into the water and quickly swim away from the fish. Swim past the catfish so
that you're lined up with it. The dogfish will swim straight into her and eat
the catfish. Hurry through the river in this method, making sure to line
yourself up with each catfish. All the catfish will be eaten, letting you escape
safely. Once you reach the end, rush to the dock. Conker struggles to run to
safety as the dogfish crashes through the dock. He gets stuck in the wall, so
hop onto his back and highjump to the alcove above, where you'll find a whopping
three packs of CASH ($1210). Now hop out and head over to the exit.

Once back in the Windy area, swim across the lake and down the river. Hop over
to your left to the context button, then head up the slope where you defeated
the beetles and take the left path into the poo cabin area. Go over to the cabin
and go along the edge of Poo Mountain. Once you find the entrance that you
opened with your second poo ball, head inside.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|            (09)          |      V. Sloprano       |         CHAPTER5         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 9a                            Corn Off the Cob                      CHPT5P01 |

A dung beetle will tell you take his advice and get out, as there's something
really bad down in the poo ocean in this room. About two days ago, the beetle's
friend Tezza was swiped up by a big hand... and he never came back. Then Bazza
was next, while he was minding his own business. He decided to escape the
mountain before he was taken too. The beetle tells you there's some money in
here if you can be arsed to get it.

Head forward. Hey, there's some sweet corn! BRING ME SOME SWEET CORN! Chop chop,
food delivery boy. Smack the piece of sweet corn around the hole with your pan.
If you get hit by the hand that comes out of the hole, you'll drop the corn
(wait, if his hand comes out of there, why can't the lazy bastard just get the
damn corn for himself?). Once you have the corn, take it to the ledge
overlooking the big lake of poo and Conker will throw it in, where it will be
eaten. Head past the first hole and follow the path to another pit. You'll have
to tailspin a gap and avoid the poo raining down (watch for shadows). Smack the
two kernels of corn here and take them to the ledge, then continue past the
hole until you reach another. Smack the three pieces of corn and take them to
the ledge to make a giant pile of crap with green eyes come out.

| 9b                              Sweet Melody                        CHPT5P02 |

                          Boss - The Great Mighty Poo

                              Difficulty : 2.5/10

The pile of poo is actually an opera singer and he will start his song. "I am
the Great Mighty Poo and I'm going to throw my shit at you. A huge supply of
tish come from my chocolate starfish. How about some scat you little twat?" All
the Great Mighty Poo does is throw pieces of himself at you, which are pretty
easy to avoid if you stay on the move. Head to the B button pad next to the
nearby hole and dodge the poop while staying near the pad. Once the GMP opens
his mouth to sing, press B on the pad to take out a roll of toilet paper.
Quickly use the Z button to throw it into his mouth, causing damage.

The Great Mighty Poo will sing the next verse of his song. "Do you really think
you'll survive in here? You don't seem to know which creek you're in. Sweet corn
is the only thing that makes it through my rear. How do you think I keep this
lovely grin? Have some more caviar." He'll throw a piece of poo that lands on
the context pad. Go along the path so you're heading back to the start. Don't
forgot to watch for the raining poo and grab the chocolate. Once you reach the
second pit, go over to the context button. You can either wait for him to stop
throwing shit or you can throw the toilet paper at the poo balls to break them.
He'll change his position some times, switching back and forth between two
places. After he opens his mouth, throw a roll of toilet paper in. You'll need
to throw in another roll before he sings the next verse.

"Now I'm really getting rather mad. You're like a niggly tickly shitty little
tag nut. When I've knocked you out with all your bab, I'm going to take your
head and ram it up my butt." Conker: "Your butt?" "My butt!" "Your butt?" "My
buuuuuuttttttt!" Some glass nearby will break. Now continue along the path until
you reach the first hole you saw. The GMP will switch between three places, so
dodge his poo balls until he opens his mouth. He switches places pretty quickly,
so I recommend you just aim at one place until he appears there. After throwing
three rolls of paper into his mouth, he'll sing so loudly that the glass

Head back the other way so you're heading towards the other holes. After passing
the gap in the path, look for a side path. Follow the side path and you'll find
some CASH ($1310). Now pull the switch to flush the Great Mighty Poo. You'll see
him drain into a pipe below. Backtrack to the second hole where you fed the GMP
two pieces of corn. From the ledge, tailspin to a ledge where the Great Mighty
Poo was. Continue tailspinning down a few ledges until you reach the exit.

| 9c                              U-Bend Blues                        CHPT5P03 |

In Berri's house, someone knocks on her door. She thinks it's Conker "standing
her up" again, but it turns out to be some rock dude. Berri says she isn't
interested in whatever he's selling, but that's not why he's here. The evil
looking rock dude kidnaps Berri after punching her, then drags her away.

After the cut-scene, drop into the circular room and get any chocolate you might
need as well as the squirrel tail on the right. Jump into the water and dive
under. Once you use the air pocket below, swim over to the tunnel with the
spinning fans. They'll kill you instantly if you hit them, so swim as close as
you can and turn the camera sideways, then swim past once it's safe. There's an
air pocket before the third fan (they get faster as you go on). Once you make it
past all three, swim to the surface of the next room and turn around. Head
through the pipe below the ceiling fan and climb the rope. Turn to your right at
the top and you should see a ladder. Once the spinning fan blades are out of the
way, jump to the ladder and climb up to a metal bucket. Head around until you
see a path, then run across the bridge to the panther king's guards.

| 9d                               The Bluff                          CHPT5P04 |

One of the guards is crapping behind a rock, but the other demands that Conker
pay the toll. Conker hands over the $1000 (you should have $1310), but the guard
realizes that Conker is a squirrel, which is just what they need. He fits the
description perfectly, but Conker explains that he's an elephant. Squirrles are
big and gray with flappy ears and long and snouty noses. Conker passes to the
exit as the other guard finishes crapping. He calls the other guard a stupid
twat for letting Conker fool him. Conker whistles his $1000 back before leaving.

At the start, head forward and around the stone structure to the other side.
You'll have to highjump over raptors along the way. Go through the exit and you
will reach the second level of the structure. Continue around to the next exit,
which takes you to the top. You'll see a weird idol statue at the top. Near it
is a wad of CASH ($1410). Highjump on top of the statue and press B to turn into
an anvil, smashing it down. Do it three times to crash down into the next level.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (10)           |      VI. Uga Buga      |         CHAPTER6         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 10a                             Drunken Gits                        CHPT6P01 |

Conker will fall off the idol after it destroys a caveman. Head forward to where
the chocolate is and turn around to see four rock piles on the ground. If you
approach them, they'll wake up and attack you, so head around the very edge of
the area. When you reach the guy guarding the entrance, push the rolled up rock
dude around the area and to the idol that you smashed in here. Highjump on top
of the idol and become an anvil again to open a door below. Push the rock
through the newly opened hole and continue through to where you'll push it down
a tunnel, killing some cavemen.

Go through the tunnel and you'll find a giant dinosaur idol with fireballs
flying around the room. After Conker asks the maestro to change the dramatic
music to something with more of a beat, turn the camera so you're facing the
idol. Go down the pathway on your right and continue heading around the right
side of the room, past a few fire lakes. At the end of the room, you'll find an
exit on the right side of the idol.

| 10b                               Sacrifice                         CHPT6P02 |

Carefully head along the narrow walkway while avoiding the cavemen until you
reach the giant egg. Approach the egg and you'll see a monk, so jump on his
stone to be propelled on top of the egg. Press B when the lightbulb appears and
Conker will sit on the egg until "some time later", at which point the egg will
hatch and reveal a baby dino. He'll jump onto the monk and squash him, then
declare that Conker is his mama. The dinosaur follows you, so continue along the
pathway. It's pretty long and winding, but you'll make it eventually. He'll eat
the cavemen along the way, so don't worry about them. At the end of the walkway,
you'll find the exit back to the dinosaur room.

Head back to the front of the room, going down the slope next to the fire lake.
Now head in front of the dino idol's mouth and you'll see four cavemen. Since
the dino likes to eat the cavemen, this next part can be a bit frustrating. In
front of a weird platform you should see a context button. Use it to take out
your slingshot, then look up at the right wall to see an arrow switch pointing
up. Shoot it to make the platform in front of you rise. Now quickly make your
baby dino stand on the platform, then run back to the context pad and take out
your slingshot. This time, shoot the button on the left, which lowers the
platform and crushes the baby dinosaur.

| 10c                                Phlegm                           CHPT6P03 |

The idol is pleased with your offering, so he opens his mouth to reveal a mucous
-covered tongue. A monk guy crawls out of his tongue as well, so hop onto his
stone to get shot up on top of the idol. Head forward over his eyes to his back
and you will find some chocolate, a squirrel tail, and some CASH ($1510). Go
over to the front of the idol and find his nostrils on the sides. When smoke
isn't coming out of a nostril, hop into it and press B to fill it with pepper.
Now pepper the other nostril when it's safe. The idol will sneeze, getting rid
of the mucous and sending Conker flying. Head up his tongue and enter the mouth,
avoiding the uvilla.

Go past a uvilla, then take the right path and tailspin across a couple gaps.
Go past the uvilla on your right and to the exit. Once outside, Conker will
steal a dead caveman's hat. Head back into the idol. Go through his throat,
crossing the gaps and avoiding the uvilla, then go back outside the idol's

| 10d                                Worship                          CHPT6P04 |

When Conker reaches the bottom of the idol's tongue, the cavemen will begin to
worship him. Conker asks them if they like the rock dudes that you saw before,
to which they reply no. It's time to get rid of them. Head over to the left or
right side of the front and go up the ramp leading to the tunnel by which you
entered the room. Head up the tunnel and through the place where you entered the
chapter. Now go over to the rock guys. Approach one of them and it will unroll
itself. Give one a whack with the frying pan (the first pop, as Conker puts it),
from behind and wait for the other cavemen and to come and kill it. Once all
four of them are gone, head to the guard in the back. He tells you that sneakers
aren't allowed, but then decides that Conker can go in. The cavemen tell him the
password, though he can't understand. He manages to get lucky and is allowed in.

| 10e                               Rock Solid                        CHPT6P05 |

A bunch of crazy techno music is playing when you enter the club. In here,
you'll want to avoid the dancers or they might smack you. At the start, you will
see a switch. If you stand on it, a door below the cage where Berri is trapped
will open, but the minute you step off, the door closes. Jump off the left side
of the platform you're on at the start and tailspin down. In this part of the
club you'll find a table and three cavemen guys. Behind the table you'll find a
rolled up rock guy. Start pushing him away from the table and around the whole
club, past the rock dancers. Push it up the ramp leading to the stand and onto
the switch, which will open the door below Berri.

Jump back down to the table and look near where you found the rock guy. You
should see a context button. Use it to drink from the keg above it and become
drunk, then head over to the front of the club. Pee on the guy near the middle
door and try to aim so that you pee him into the whole. He'll fall on a ledge
above where you are. Turn around and you should see a + medicine cabinet on the
wall of the platform where the entrance is. There's a ramp you can use next to
it to get to it, where you can press B to cure your hangover. Now drop into the
middle door where the rock dude fell.

Hold A quickly so you can tailspin and avoid taking damage, then start pushing
the rock guy around the ledge. You'll encounter two female dancers along the
way. When they're on the edge of the ledge, push the rock past them (this way
they'll only push you into the alcove instead of knocking you off if you don't
make it past them). The second one you'll have to push the rock in front of.
After making it to the end, place the rock guy on another switch to open the
right door. Tailspin to below where you are and head over to the context pad
again. Drink from it to get drunk, then go to the dancer near the right door.
Pee him into the door and he'll land on Berri's cage. After curing your hangover
, get drunk again and head to the left side of the room. Pee the last male
dancer into the last hole. He'll drop on the cage and break it, but Berri will
run off, not recognizing Conker in his hat. Conker remarks that he wants to
leave, as it's getting a bit noisy. First, drop into the left or right door to
appear in Berri's cage. Now go to where Berri was standing to find some CASH
($1610). Tailspin down and head up the ramp to reach the entrance. Talk to the
rock guy and he'll tell you you have to see the boss for taking the money.

You'll see Berri on a weasel's back, who is sitting at a table with a bunch of
other weasels in a Godfather parody. The weasel accuses Conker of stealing his
dough, to which Conker asks Berri how she's doing. The weasel asks her if she
knows this guy, but Berri asks why she would associate with a caveman. She is
dismissed. The weasel kills one of his men for "showing no respect", then goes
back to Conker. He is willing to forgive you and let you keep the money as long
as you do him a job.

The weasel, in a different room, explains that cavemen have come and invaded
"his patch". He wants you, with your disguise, to go through the area, through
the mouht of the dinosaur idol, and drop the bomb once you make it through its
throat. However, if that bomb explodes before Conker makes it, then mama's gonna
buy him a mocking bird, I mean the weasel suggests Conker leave town. He also
tells him to leave town after the bomb goes off.

| 10f                                Bomb Run                         CHPT6P06 |

You appear in front of the door outside the Rock Solid club. Head around the
area so you can avoid touching the rock dudes and dying, then go over to the
statue that you made drop in here. Go through the tunnel underneath it and avoid
the cavemen, then head through the next tunnel into the idol room. Go down the
ramp on either side and drop off it after passing the caveman. Head to the
idol's tongue, then run up it and go inside his mouth, avoiding the uvilla.

Go past the uvilla as they swing from side to side. If you hit one, the bomb
will immediately explode, so be careful as hell. You'll have to take the left
path this time, as you obviously can't jump with a bomb in your hand. Once you
make it to the end, go through the exit. Outside the idol, head to the edge of
the ledge you're on and Conker will automatically in the bomb, causing a massive
lava flow. After the cut-scene, hop along the stone platforms (be quick as once
you step on a platform, it will sink into the lava) and to the exit.

| 10g                                 Mugged                          CHPT6P07 |

When Conker enters the place, he will be knocked out by a caveman. Later, he'll
wake up to see four cavemen on hoverboards above the lava. They've stolen all
your money ($0)! What is the world coming to when a squirrel can't even go to a
dinosaur-themed world without getting mugged by a bunch of prehistoric brats?
One of the cavemen falls off in laughter and dies, so the others challenge you
to a hoverboard race in an attempt to get the money back.

Once the cut-scene has ended, head forward along the bridge above the lava and
to an opening. You appear just above some lava, so walk straight forward and
drop onto the hoverboard. This isn't an actual race, as you can take as long as
you'll want. You'll have to head around a course at intense speeds, whacking
the cavemen with your frying pan once you get close. If you crash into a wall or
a dinosaur leg, you die instantly. If you skid along a wall, you'll lose a piece
of chocolate. At the start of the course, go forward and dodge the dino's legs,
then hop at the end of the cliff to a lava waterfall. If you don't jump, there's
a chance you'll crash into the fall and die. Go through the cave, avoiding the
pillar. Continue past a dinosaur leg and you should see a caveman. Here, there
is a gate on your right and an open path on the left. Take the left path so you
don't crash and continue past a bridge to the start. Whack the first caveman
when you can ($536). Continue heading around the course, whacking the second
caveman ($1073) and the third ($1610). After whacking the second one, you'll
have to start taking the right path instead of the left, as the gate switches.
Once you've killed all the cavemen, take the left path again (the gates switch
for the second time) and head under the bridge. When you see a ramp leading up,
go up the ramp and jump for some CASH ($1710) plus an exit.

| 10h                               Raptor Food                       CHPT6P08 |

Conker rides through a tunnel and crashes into an arena, where he thinks the
people are cheering for him. A big caveman, called Buga the Knut, sits up in a
chair above with his girlfriend. He commands that Fangy be sent in. After
regaining control of Conker, head forward to the door that he points out. The
drawbridge opens and a raptor enters with the goal of taking down Conker. This

After the raptor comes out, go over to the very middle of the arena as quick as
**** where you'll find a context pad. Quickly use it (make sure you're facing
the raptor) to take out a watch, which will hipnotize the dinosaur and allow you
to ride him. Press B to headbutt and Z to swallow. Head around the place and
walk into each caveman to grab him by the mouth, then press Z to swallow him.
These guys are unarmed, so it's easy to take them down. After killing them all,
Buga will send in a group of infantry.

You'll have to kill about 16 cavemen. Getting hit by their clubs will cause you
to lose control of the dinosaur. If that happens, rehypnotize him and jump on
his back when you here a weird noise. The trick is to run into the caveman and
spread them out, as they all get scared. Now head towards one of them so you can
deal with him when he's not backed up by his buddies. Alternatively, you can
grab one by the mouth, then run to safety and eat him. Continue using either
method until they're all gone, at which point another group will come out.

This time, the cavemen have spears, so you'll have to worry about them throwing
their weapons at you. It's hard to swallow one when there are other's nearby
without getting hit, so try to swallow them when they're on their own. Once you
have gotten rid of all of them, Buga's girlfriend will tease that Conker has a
bigger boner than him, enraging Buga and causing him to drop to the arena to
fight you himself.

| 10i                              Buga The Knut                      CHPT6P09 |

                              Boss - Buga the Knut

                               Difficulty : 4/10

When Buga drops down, head forward, though you should keep your distance. When
you see him jump, jump after a second or so to avoid getting hit by the
shockwave and falling off the dinosaur/taking damage The dinosaur trusts you now
, so you won't have to rehypnotize him should you fall off. When Buga raises his
bone (be careful of this), bite his balls (press B). Buga will cover himself in
shame as his loincloth drops, so go to his backside and bite his ass, turning
his cheek red. Continue doing this, biting his balls when he raises his bone.
After biting him three times, his secret (he has a tiny boner) is revealed and
he runs off in shame. Conker reckons that now it's "babe time", but the dinosaur
doesn't want him to leave. Conker throws a bone from a dead caveman to the
drawbridge and shuts it to get the dinosaur away.

Turn to your left and go northwestish to find the ledge where the cavemen
infantry came from. Jump over to that ledge and go through the opening. You'll
appear in front of Buga's girlfriend, who turns out to be a hundred times larger
than Conker. She picks him up and "breaks up" with him, then puts him on a
higher ledge. Go through the new opening, following the cash that goes in.

Go over to your bridge on the right and head to the other side. Run through the
tunnel where you'll find the exit. Grab the CASH ($1810), then head rightward
and head through the valley until you reach a dropoff. Walk straight forward and
you'll fall into the water where you found the three spinning pipes leading to
the king's guards. Head around the area and through the exit. Once in the Great
Mighty Poo area, simply walk into the pit below.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (11)           |    II. Windy (Pt. 3)   |         CHPT2PT3         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 11a                            Wasps' Revenge                       CHPT2P08 |

You appear in the poo cabin where you met the dung beetle. Go through the door
to leave. A cut-scene will show that the evil wasps have stolen the hive once
more and are taking it inside the honeycombs. Once the scene ends, head out of
the Poo Mountain area and down the slope where you defeated the dung beetles. Go
left and talk to Mrs. Bee, who will tell you that the hive has been stolen once
more. Conker agrees to it only after Mrs. Bee promises to pay him quadruple the
amount paid last time. She tells you that you'll have to go further this time.
Head back to the sign and take the "Naughty" path, following the trail past the
yellow goo area and to the honeycombs. Before going in, highjump to the left
honeycomb, then tailspin from the right honeycomb to the middle one. You appear
above the river where some CASH is ($1910). Go back into the comb and drop down,
then enter the bottom middle honeycomb.

Head forward along the path until you reach the hive. It opens up, so jump into
the machine gun chair. At the top of the screen is a radar showing the bees
around you as blue dots. If a dot turns red, it's close to the center and will
sting if you don't kill it quickly. Turn around, following the radar. As you go
on, the amount of bees will increase until the whole place is surrounded by
bees, making it a bit difficult. Once they're all gone Mrs. Bee will come and
tell you to hurry. Press A to jump out, then grab the hive and head back out of
the honeycomb as fast as you can (three wasps will come to chase you).

After getting outside, head down the path. When you reach the sticky yellow goo,
head around it to avoid being slowed down. Continue down the path until you
reach Mrs. Bee. Conker throws the hive, then Mrs. Bee uses missiles to kill the
wasps again. After it's over, she'll give you your CASH ($2210).

| 11b                              Mr. Barrel                         CHPT2P09 |

From here, hold down C to center the camera and go left to cross the bridge.
After crossing, look to your left and you should see a slope leading up a vast
mountain. Go upward (be very slow) until a worm pops out of the ground. Go near
it and highjump over it, then continue slowly up the mountain. There are a bunch
of these worms, so if you go too quickly, you'll run into them and lose a piece
of chocolate. After making it to the top, you'll meet Mr. Barrel, who requires
Conker to show him a large amount of money (you've got enough though). Hop onto
him and ride him down the mountain. Hold the joystick left or right to turn him
(you kill the worms as you go down, so don't worry about them). At the bottom,
the barrel will crash into a bunch of boards blocking an opening in the river,
but Conker passes out. After a while, he wakes up during the nighttime. Jump
into the river and go through the opening.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (12)           |      VII. Spooky       |         CHAPTER7         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 12a                               Mr. Death                         CHPT7P01 |

Rocks will fall, preventing you from leaving the way you came. Head forward
through the tunnel until you come to an open water area. Follow the current of
the river. If you go left against the current, you'll find a stream going down
, though you can't go up it. Continue following the current (you'll pass Gregg
the Grim Reaper on a dock trying to kill some catfish) until you reach the end,
where you'll find another tunnel. Go into the exit.

From here, jump to the switch above the waterfall to open a gate past the Grim
Reaper. You appear in a side room of the starting tunnel, so head rightward to
the end of the tunnel. Swim forward with the current until you reach the dock,
then go up and talk to Gregg. He thinks you want to go up to where you opened
the gate, but tells you there are zombies there. To help you, he gives you a
shotgun and tells you that only a shot in the head will kill the zombies. Press
B to take out/put away your gun, Z to fire, R to aim, and hold Z to use a laser
targetting feature.

Head up the dock until you find the gate you opened. Go into the graveyard
beyond the gate and head through it until some zombies pop up. Highjump onto a
gravestone, where you can safely pick off the four zombies. Go a little furhter
along the fence on the left and three more zombies will appear. Shoot them down,
then hop over the fence and go over to where you'll find another zombie. Kill it
, then go to the middle of the path just near the fence. Shoot them, then head
along the left side. Near the end, a bunch of zombies will pop up. Blast them
until Gregg appears in front of the exit. Put the gun away and talk to Gregg,
who will open the gate for you. Go inside.

Head up the long winding path at a slow pace. There are skeleton worms here, so
if you go too fast, you'll just run right into one as it pops out of the ground.
When one pops out, highjump over it to avoid taking damage. Once you reach the
top, enter the house you'll find.

| 12b                             Count Batula                        CHPT7P02 |

You'll vill be immediately greeted by a dracula-like vampire dude who invites
Conker into his home. He thinks Conker is in need of "sustenance" and invites
him into his dining room. Half of ze dining room floor is ripped apart, but ze
table is still intact. Conker munches on chicken and drinks vine, then asks ze
guy about the person on the picture on the vall. He explains that it is his
forefather, who vas a crusader in a var of long ago, vhen zhey were allies with
ze squirrels and panthers. Alas, zat union did not vork out. The count is awed
by ze music of ze children of ze night, but zen he hears ze noise of ze
villagers braying on his door, and zhere are more of zem zis time. He says he
had planned to kill Conker and drink his blood, but it looks as if he'll be
needing his help. He looks as if he is about to bite Conker. Just then, ze
villagers break into ze house.

In another room, the Count dangles by a rope from ze ceiling. He realizes,
judging from ze taste of ze blood, zat Conker is his great, great, great, great,
great grandson. He explains zat ze villagers occasionally pop into his
establishment to try and kill him. He has had a few... minor alterations to ze
household. Zhere is a grinder to kill ze villagers (who are mice), pumps to pump
blood up a pipe, and some other bits and pieces. He asks Conker to put the
villagers in the grinder and allow the him to feed, then it is revealed that
Conker has been transformed into a bat.

To fly, hold B and move the control stick. Press Z to drop bat shit, which will
stun the villagers long enough for you to drop down and grab them. Once you have
one, fly it over the grinder. Conker will automatically drop it in. The count
drinks blood every two times you drop in mice. From the start, you'll want to
fly to the northeast corner and go into the door on your right. This will lead
to the library. Between the two shelves you'll find three mice. From the nearby
doorway in the same corner you can reach the foyer, where you'll find three mice
at the bottom of the stairs and another at the top. From the ledge you start on,
fly to the left to the bottom floor just above the grinder. There's a door here
that leads to a hedge garden with a three mice lurking throughout the hedges. If
you need some chocolate, fly to the very top of the grinder room. In one of the
corners you'll find three chocolate pieces on a ledge. After dropping seven mice
into the grinder, the count will become so fat that he drops into the grinder
and dies. Conker detransforms, but the whole house is now full of zombies and
the front door is locked.

| 12c                                Zombies                          CHPT7P03 |

Head around the room to your left, being careful not to fall to the floor. Go
through the doorway on the other side to reach the library. Go down the path on
your right and tailspin to the top of the middle bookshelf. Equip the crossbow
using the context button, then start shooting the bats in the corners of the
room. Wait for them to pause before shooting (the controls are the same as the
shotgun). Once they're all gone, tailspin back to the path and head up to the
grinder room. Go around the room to your left until you reach the other side,
then enter the top of the dining room. Quickly shoot the zombie that pops out,
then look on the left side of the ledge to kill another zombie. Go along the
plank to the context zone, then shoot the three bats using the crossbow.
Carefully tiptoe along the planks to reach the very back of the room, where you
will find a key. Pick it up, then take it back along the floorboards and into
the grinder room. Go around to your right to reach the library, then head right
and head all the way down the path until you reach the bottom of the library.
Avoid the zombies and go to the start of the left side. Head through the hallway
, avoiding the zombies, then go right once you reach the foyer. Go past the
stairs and over to the front door, where Conker will place the first KEY (1) in.

A bridge outside will appear above a gap. Turn so that Conker's back is facing
the wall, then go right and through the doorway. Ignore the many zombies that
flood the hallway until you reach the dining room. Now hop onto the table and
blast away all the zombies lurking in here. Head to the side opposite the
hallway you came through and go through the door to reach the bridge. Cross it,
then continue to reach the outside garden. Highjump onto the hedges so you can
safely blast the zombies. Go around the hedges and shoot all the zombies in the
garden, then hop to the fountain in the center and grab the key behind it. Head
around the hedges until you reach the bridge again, then cross it to reach the
dining room. Go around the table and head through the hallway until you reach
the foyer, where you should go to the front door and place the next KEY (2) in.

A staircase will accend to the place where the three pieces of chocolate are.
Head up the stairs across the door and go right to the grinder room. There's a
gap leading northward, so go to the edge of the wooden beam and tailspin to the
ledge. Head to the corner, then climb the ladder on the wall to reach the ledge
full of chocolate. Now look to the right so you're looking at the other side of
the room. Tailspin to the ledge here and highjump to the next ledge, where you
will find a bone key. Jump to pull it, which opens a couple of doors. Now go
back to the chocolate ledge and head leftward. Jump across the pipe and to the
ledge, where you'll find a key. After grabbing it, head around the ledge and
across a beam, then go through the doorway. You appear near the staircase, so go
along the stairs in the foyer over to the main door to put the last KEY (3) in.
The front door opens, but there are skeleton worms guarding the path.
Fortunately, Conker takes notice of Mr. Barrel nearby and gets an idea.

| 12d                              Mr. Barrel                         CHPT7P04 |

Hop onto Mr. Barrel, then go through the mansion door. Once outside, carefully
roll down the path. You'll have to steer carefully, or you'll fall to into the
endless abyss below. As you go down, you'll automatically destroy the skeleton
worms. At the end, head through the graveyard where you killed the zombies and
through the gate near Gregg. Head into the river and go right, passing Gregg the
Grim Reaper. Look around for the waterfall going downward, then head in that
direction. With the barrel, you can roll up the mini-waterfall. At the top, the
barrel will break, but you're on land. Head through the exit.

You appear behind the gate behind the waterfall in the hungover area. Get the
CASH here ($2310). Head across from the waterfall and go through the passage.
This leads to the river next to the farm patch at the top. Head across the farm
patch where Birdy is and go over to the ledge atop the waterfall. Tailspin
across the gaps until you reach the tops, then go across the bridge and enter

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (13)           |     VIII. It's War     |         CHAPTER8         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 13a                               It's War                          CHPT8P01 |

You'll see an advertisement for soldier recruits. The gray squirrels are
apparently in a war with evil teddy bears. As the general says, it is not known
where they came from, but is known that they must be sent back to that place.
Head down the slope once in the Windy chapter. At the signs, follow the naughty
path leading to the wasp nest. Head up the path along the river until you come
to the yellow sticky crap surrounding the grass. Highjump over the electric
fence on your left here and go through the doorway.

| 13b                             Power's Off                         CHPT8P02 |

Go forward until you see a cut-scene of a jet being shot by a submarine and
crashing into a beach area due to an.... incompitent pilot. A general comes and
tells Conker that a boat must arrive, so Conker must clear the jet out. First,
we've got to turn the power back on. Head forward when the scene is over and hop
into the water. There's an electric eel swimming here, so you'll have to be
careful. Swim through the half-circle tires under the water, avoiding the eel.
There are three of them positioned around the center. You'll have to grab the
eel's attention. Make it follow you through the half circle and keep swimming.
Once the eel goes through all three tires, the power turns back on and the eel
dies. A context pad also appears above the center platform in the lake.

| 13c                                 TNT                             CHPT8P03 |

Swim to the right side of the central platform and go up the stairs. Push the
block on your left so it's lined up with the slope ahead, then go up the slope
and go to your left to find a men's bathroom door. Press B in front of the door
and Conker will knock to reveal a lizard with a giant TNT barrel on his back.
You'll have to push him to get him where you want. Once you regain control of
Conker, push the lizard past the bathroom and down the slope. He will hit the
block that you pushed, stopping him from landing in the ocean. Now push him over
to the right. You'll have to take him all the way around the area, but there are
mines that pop out of here. This is the order they appear in (inside means
closer to the wall and outside means closer to the edge): outside, outside,
inside, inside, outside, outside, inside, outside. Push the lizard so that he
weaves around the mines and doesn't hit them. He'll sit down and rest once you
reach the end of the path. Now go back around the mines and head to where you
pushed the block. Go forward to the central platform above lake and use the
context button to take out a flaming slingshot. Use it to shoot the TNT barrel
all the way across the lake and he'll ignite, blowing away part of the jet.

Go back and head up the slope, then head left and open the men's door again to
find another lizard with a TNT barrel. Push him back to the right and down the
slope, where he'll be stopped by the block. This time, push him to the left and
you will find some green crates hopping around. When the one on the inside turns
around to go further from you, push it towards him so you're following him.
He'll turn around to the inside at the end of the path, letting you go past.
Next up is a crate dropping down and being pulled up by a rope. Let the box drop
down, then quickly push the lizard past it once it's pulled up. Now all you have
to do is make it past another set of green crates and another metal crate. The
lizard will sit down and rest at the end, so head back past the metal crates and
the wooden crates until you reach the start. Head to the platform above the lake
and take out the flame slingshot again. Shoot the lizard you placed and he'll
ignite, blowing away another part of the plane. The jet will sink underwater,
clearing the way. Put the slingshot away and then drop down to the stairs to the
right of the central platform. Talk to the general, who punches Conker, knocking
him out.

| 13d                             The Assault                         CHPT8P04 |

Conker wakes up to find he's on a boat with gray squirrel soliders, who are
being shipped to battle. Conker has an army hat himself. The boat stops and
opens up, followed by the soliders being blasted to their deaths by Tediz, evil
teddy bears (they were mentioned by the professor, who created them, a long time
ago). Conker jumps into the water as several more squirrels are killed while
swimming. He manages to make it to the beach, where several more squirrels are
killed. After the cut-scene ends, head to your right until you find an opening
in the fence. Keep going around the fencing, as the place where the opening is
alternates, so you'll have to wind around. If you keep moving, you have a good
chance of avoiding the fire. You can also use the metal bar barriers until the
Tediz stop firing for a second.

| 13e                            Sole Survivor                        CHPT8P05 |

After going to the left for the final time, Conker will jump and meet a soldier,
who explains that Tediz have been shooting them for ten hours. He asks you to
clear out the machine gun nests up in the building. The gray squirrel dies, so
press B to take out dual shotguns (I'm not sure if they're shotguns, as they
fire a hell of a lot faster than the gun Gregg gives you). You can use the C
buttons to move around like with the shotgun. The controls are the same, except
you get a crosshair instead of a laser. If you need some chocolate, go forward.
Now shoot the lock on the door next to the dead soldier and enter the building.

Like with the zombies, you can only kill Tediz by shooting them in their heads.
Go forward a bit after the cut-scene and a bunch of Tediz will pop out from
behind boxes. Shoot the Tediz on the boxes on the left side, then shoot the ones
ahead. Go forward more and shoot the last few Tediz, which opens the door ahead
to reveal lasers. Crawl under the lasers, then go under the high parts of the
next few lasers. Grab the piece of chocolate behind the box, then take out your
guns and turn the corner. Go forward, shooting the three Tediz behind the stacks
of boxes. Kill the Tediz hiding behind the next corner and the one on top of the
boxes, then tailspin at the right time through the lasers. Shoot a trio of Tediz
that pop out, then head forward and shoot two Tediz that fall from the ceiling.
Go under the lasers, shooting the two Tediz from the ceiling and one on the
box. Shoot the next two Tediz that drop from the ceiling plus one behind a box,
then approach the elevator. Some mines will come out of nowhere and chase Conekr
, who makes it in the elevator just in time.

Hop over the lasers, getting the two chocolates, then shoot the Tediz that drop
from the ceiling and two that come out of nowhere. Turn the corner and wait for
the flamethrower to stop, then go past it and shoot the Tediz that come from
behind the boxes. Head past two more flamethrowers and turn the corner, where
you will have to kill four Tediz. Shoot another Tediz that drops from the
ceiling, then head through the lasers and blast another ceiling Tediz. Shoot a
couple box Tediz, then continue to go past a flamethrower and tailspin over some
lasers. Pass two more flamethrowers, then shoot the five Tediz lurking behind
the corner. Shoot two ceiling Tediz and you'll see what looks like a really
complex laser pattern. It's actually three laser sets, so tailspin over the two
lower ones and walk under the next two to the exit.

| 13f                            Casualty Dept.                       CHPT8P06 |

Two doctor Tediz are discussing what would happen if they gave the game twenty
intelligent characters, but they get back into character once they spot you.
Stay where you are and hold R to aim. When the Tediz pop out from behind the
counters, shoot them (wait for them to get close to you). Continue blasting
Tediz until they stop popping out of the counters, then head to the other end of
the room. Go to your right to meet a gray squirrel trapped in an electric chair,
who tells you one switch will free him but the other is... Pull either switch on
the wall and it will shock him. Now pull the other to open the door (tough luck
for him). Head through.

You'll find a rather large Tediz who is operating a machine gun chair. He spots
you and starts firing, so quickly take cover behind a box. When he stops to
reload (you'll see a cut-scene of this the first time), head over to him and
climb the rope on your right. Jump to the big stack of boxes and head to the
context pad at the end. Quickly take out the bazooka when he's almost out of
shots and blast him when he's reloading, getting rid of him. Now jump down and
get into the chair yourself. Look to your right and start blasting down the
Tediz behind the boxes. Once they're all gone, look to your left and shoot
behind more boxes. If you ever need to grab chocolate, press A to hop out of the
chair and grab the chocolate around it. The reload time of the machine gun is
significant compared to your normal weapons. You'll need to shoot two sets for
each side, then two sets on both sides at the same time and a set on the right.
Once you're done, a door at the end of the right side will open. Hop out of the
chair, then head through the right side. You'll find a conveyer belt past the
door that opened. Head to your left and you'll find a small path to the exit.

| 13g                        Saving Private Rodent                    CHPT8P07 |

You'll find a room in which a soldier is being held captive by a group of Tediz,
who apparently plan to kill him. They shoot at him, but he uses his special suit
to protec thimself from the bullets. Once the scene is over, go into aiming mode
and blast the Tediz. There's only like five of them, so it's not too hard. Once
they're all gone, approach the soldier, who Conker knows (his name is Rodent).
Rodent explains his suit is made of titanium and makes him indestructable, so
Conker can hide behind him for protection.

Once the scene is over, head forward and you should see a pathway tunnel. Go
through it and Conker will see bomber planes up in the sky. A bomb will
immediately drop, so hide behind Rodent. You are forced to go first, despite
what Conker said, which means you can't actually stay behind Rodent at all
times. When you hear a bomb about to drop, quickly take cover behind Rodent to
avoid getting hurt. Also watch for the shadows of the bombs. A few mines are
also lurking in the tunnel, so when they approach, hide behind Rodent. It's a
long way, but eventually you will make it to the end of the tunnel. Rodent says
he'll go and wait by the door while Conker shoots the locks off. Head all the
way to the right until you reach the end. Now look to your right and you'll see
a big lake. From the dock, jump to the lifeboat and use the context button to
take out a bazooka. Turn around and look for the giant door Rodent mentioned.
There are four orange dots holding the lock, so blast them down and the door
will open. Put away the bazooka and make a run for the door, avoiding the mass
laser fire and Tediz Head through the door. If you die after blasting the locks,
you won't have to do it again.

| 13h                           Chemical Warfare                      CHPT8P08 |

Conker will discover a tank, which Rodent realizes is a "class 22", which he's
always wanted to be in. Go forward and hop into the tank, which has horrible
controls. Holding the control stick forward moves you in whatever direction you
face. Holding it left or right will make the tank spin, and holding it backward
will make it move backward. You can use the C buttons to rotate the gun, press Z
to fire, and R to aim. Use the up and down C buttons to zoom in and out while
aiming. What you want to do is head across from where you found the tank and
shoot the small door with the toxic symbol on it. Hop out of the tank (A) and
go through the door.

Go forward. Throughout this tunnel, you'll find mines and toxic waste puddles.
Tailspin over the toxic waste, then tailspin back and lure the mine into the
waste, where it will explode. Keep using this strategy until you reach the end
of the tunnel, where you should pull the switch, making the toxic waste rise.
Quickly rush back through the tunnel, tailspinning over the puddles. At the end,
highjump to the exit.

| 13i                               The Tower                         CHPT8P09 |

Once outside again, go forward and hold down C to turn the camera. Now head left
to discover that the giant door has opened. You should see an open area with a
giant tower in the middle. The guns at the top of the tower are scoping around.
Head forward and tailspin over the gap, then go up the metal bridge to find a
context button. Use it to turn into an avil and smash the bridge down. Continue
along the narrow path like this, avoiding the Tediz's grenades and the laser
fires. You'll have to smash down a couple bridges along the way. Look to your
left to find the third bridge, which leads to three Tediz. After smashing the
final bridge, quickly head back along the path. When you reach the end, go
through the door and hop into the tank.

Drive the tank back through the door. The grenades can hurt the tank, but not
the tower blasts. Use the sniper to blast away Tediz from afar, which lets you
kill them without being hurt. At the start, aim at the tower and you should see
a caution strip bar supporting it. Blast it, loosening the tower's support.
Continue heading around the area, killing Tediz from as far away as you can.
Keep looking at the tower to blast away its four supports. Some of the paths are
extremely narrow. If you drive off the path and start slipping, quickly hop out
of the tank to avoid falling. You can then head back to where you found the tank
to jump back into it. You'll need to go to the three Tediz end area to blast the
fianl support off.  The tower will collapse, leading behind a giant crater. Hop
out of the tank and cross the wooden log, then jump into the crater.

| 13j                              Little Girl                        CHPT8P10 |

After dropping down, cross the bridge to find a little girl in the center of the
area, who is apparently trapped in the ground. Submarines are patrolling the
water around the area trying to fire Teddyfunkin U47 intercontinental ballistic
missiles at you. After the cut-scene, look around the area. There are three arch
structures, one in the left, right, and in the back. Head to the one of the left
(this is assuming you're facing the little girl) and grab the chocolate if you
need it inside the arch. Go behind the arch and you'll see a context button.
After the sub fires a missile, use the context pad to take a bazooka. Quickly
shoot the submarine. It will be destroyed, but is replaced by another. Keep
shooting the subs, putting the bazooka away when the missile comes. You can also
use your bazooka to shoot down the missiles before they kill you. Once they're
gone, head to the arch in the back. This time, you'll have to deal with two
submarines. I suggest trying to blast them both, then putting the bazooka away
and hiding behind the arch. Once they're gone, head to the final arch, the one
in the right. Again, shoot two submarines until they're all gone. It can be a
bit difficult, but just remember to take cover when necessary. Once they're all
gone, head to the center and talk to the little girl. She seems happy that she's
going to get to see mummy and daddy again.

| 13k                            The Experiment                       CHPT8P11 |

Rodent drops into the area with his tank and quickly warns Conker to stay away
from the girl, but Conker doesn't listen. He tries to get the girl out of the
trap, but she turns evil. The hatch opens and a giant Tediz robot comes out,
picking up the little girl.

                            Boss - Tediz Experiment

                               Difficulty : 7/10

Quickly head backward and jump into the tank where Rodent is, as you'll need it
to compete with this thing (it's slicer can kill Conker in one hit). Go into one
of the arches while the robot goes to the center. He'll take out mini-guns and
start blasting you with bullets. Just hide behind the arch until he has to
reload. Get out of the arch quickly as **** (you want to be close as possible to
outside of it while he's firing) and blast one of the guns away. If you're quick
, you can blast away the other gun. The robot will come toward you, so blast the
little girl out of its hand. He'll turn around to fetch her while she shows her
apparent anger issues. A hatch on the back of the robot opens to reveal a red
button, so blast the button to inflict damage.

Drive behind the nearest arch and take cover. The robot will begin using magneto
laser electroshockers. There's no reloading here, so simply drive out of the
arch and blast the two lasers away before he hurts you. As the robot approaches
you, blast the little girl away again. When the robot turns to pick her up,
blast the red button in his back again.

Go behind the nearest arch to take cover. The Tediz robot will take out cannons
to start firing missiles like the damn submarines did, only a shit load will
blast towards you at a time. Wait for a break in the fire, then blast the
robot's missile launchers away. Shoot the girl out of his hand, then blast his
red button when he turns to pick her up. The robot collapses and is commanded to
get up, but does not rise. A few mines come out of the red button, and attach to
the tank, then explode.


The tank has been reduced to rubble, as Conker sees. Conker survived, but Rodent
... no Rodent died. After Conker's tribute to Rodent, the little girl will press
a button. A four minute, thirty second timer starts, giving you a limited amount
of time to get the **** out.

| 13l                               Countdown                         CHPT8P12 |

Once you regain control of Conker, hop into the pit ahead. You land in the
corridor just past the first few Tediz you killed after swiping the guns off the
dead soldier. However, there are some crazily complicated laser patterns in here
, making this almost inarguably the most difficult part of the game. Tailspin a
very small distance over the first set, the jump over a laser. Now crawl under
three horizontal lasers and tailspin through the small gap in the vertical ones.
Jump through some vertical lasers so you land between them, then tailspin
through the horizontal ones at the right moment. Take out your guns and kill the
Tediz lurking behind the corner. This next laser pattern is difficult. If you
don't manage to tailspin through it at the exact right moment, you'll die. I
recommend crawling and purposely getting hit by the bottom laser. You lose two
pieces of chocolate, so you'll need at least three. Go forward and shoot the
Tediz behind the corner, then hop onto the box. Crawl under the laser and drop
down, then jump over the next laser. Head to the end of the hallway and crawl
under the laser to reach the first room you saw Tediz in. Head to the end of the
room and the door will be blocked by blue lasers. Jump onto the nearest box and
take out a bazooka, then shoot all the Tediz in the room. I recommend you start
with the one on the box. The last one will land in the blue lasers, destroying
them, so head through the exit.

You appear on the beach at the start. The timer becomes two minutes no matter
how long you had when you went past the blue laser exit. Head forward through
the beach until you reach the fence. Turn to your right and there will be a
Tediz lurking on the beach. These Tediz fire missiles that kill you in one damn
hit, and they're accurate as hell. Take out your bazooka and blast the Tediz,
then head forward to the end of the row, where you should look on your right to
find a Tediz in the corner (the one on your left on the other side of the fence
will be destroyed by the lasers). After killing it, make a U-turn left and go
down the path. Shoot the Tediz up ahead, then go forward. Eventually, about
three or four Tediz will pop out of nowhere. There's no way you can kill them
all, so blast the one directly ahead, then rush past the Tediz, making your
movement as random as possible. When you reach the end, Conker will rush towards
the shore and jump into the boat. The boat starts off, bringing them to safety.

| 13m                            Peace at Last!                       CHPT8P13 |

The general takes Conker by his side and gives him a talk. War is a terrible
thing, as Conker points out. The general says it's sad that all these fine young
men are sent off to do the dying while those guys who never see a single bullet
whizz past their heads, those so-called generals, twenty miles behind enemy
lines, tell them to go and die. Meanwhile, Rodent wakes up! He's not dead, he's
alive!!! But... the countdown... The whole island blows up and the building
collapses as Conker and the general watch. Rodent goes flying above the boat and
the other soliders celebrate his making it out. After the boat lands, head up
the stairs and go forward to the exit. Leave the most difficult chapter forever.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (14)           |        IX. Heist       |         CHAPTER9         |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 14a                          The Windmill's Dead                    CHPT9P01 |

The door behind you closes, so you can't ever return (not that you'd want to).
Jump over the electric fence and head up the naughty path until you reach the
honeycomb place. Tailspin down to the contxt button you used to kill the beetles
and look ahead to find a piece of the windmill in flames. Highjump on top of it,
then jump to the path leading up the windmill. There are no longer any worms, so
just run up until you reach the top, where Rodent will come and show his respect
for Conker. His speech "implies" (it's pretty obvious) that he crashed into the
windmill and destroyed it. Once he's gone, head into the windmill and drop down.
Go forward through a doorway at the bottom.

If you ever looked near the poo cabin, you might have seen a ladder leading up
to an exit. This leads to a bunch of signs telling Conker to leave. If you try
to go across the rickety bridge, it will fall apart and you'll drop into the pit
below. This secret entrance leads to the other side. Go to your left and jump
over the wall. Go over to Don Weaso, who tells Conker that he needs you to do a
little job. Conker begrudgingly accepts, followed by Berri arriving, in a
leather outfit just like Trinity and Neo's in the Matrix (the next part is an
excellent and obvious parody of the Matrix). Weaso says he thought Berri didn't
know Conker, but Berri explains that Conker is her boyfriend. Don Weaso explains
that his escapades with the cavemen put him out of business, so he needs Conker
and Berri to rob the Feral Reserve Bank in order to replenish his funds. Conker
agrees only on the condition that he gets a leather outfit as well, which he
does. Once the scene is over, head forward and through the bank's revolving

| 14b                           Enter the Vertex                      CHPT9P02 |

Conker will, in a Matrix fashion, enter the matrix, I mean the bank, and place
his luggage on the checking system. The guard tells him to place any metallic
objects in the tray, following the alarm going off. Conker kicks the guard and
then shoots several others, followed by Berri shooting the last one and standing
by Conker's side. Once the scene is over, head forward to the two pillars
blocked off by lasers. Hide behind one of the two pillars to find a context
button. Two bank guards will start shooting from behind the lasers. Just stay
behind the pillar (make sure you're as close as possible to it) and you won't
get hit. When the fire ceases, press B to make Conker spin through the air in
slow-motion. As the bank guards are regrouping, shoot them. Now wait until the
second set of two appears, then shoot them down while they regroup. Stop gliding
through the air after they're gone and Berri will hop over the lasers, then turn
them off.

Progress over to the next pillar. This time, you'll need to deal with three
guards at once. If you screw up and get shot while gliding through the air, you
might get your head blown off while getting back up and die. Get rid of two sets
of three while they're regrouping. Conker will use Neo's classic bullet dodge
move to avoid the guard's shots, then spin on his figner. Berri will throw a
knife at him.

Go forward to the next pillar and take cover behind it. The guards' bullets will
blast away the pillar, so you'll have to be careful. When they regroup, press B
and blast them all away. Get rid of the next set and Conker will jump into the
air in slow motion, then kick the guard.

Quickly head forward to the next pillar. There are four guards this time,
meaning there's quite a good chance you'll get killed if you screw up. Get rid
of the first set (you'll need some fast aiming this time), then kill the second
once they regroup. Berri will slow motion kick the guards into the lasers,
getting rid of them. Head forward and to the elevator, which Berri and Conker
will take to the second floor.

| 14c                               The Vault                         CHPT9P03 |

There's a huge complex pattern of lasers, but Berri just turns them all off,
opening the door ahead. Go forward and through the tunnel to reach the vault,
where Conker will be awed by the huge amount of money. You'll need to smack
these with your frying pan to get them.

After collecting three packs of CASH ($1,000,000), Conker is a millionaire. As
he celebrates, Berri notices that the Panther King is sitting on a ledge above.
The king is happy that he's finally found a red squirrel, which Conker realizes
is him. Conker doesn't recognize him at first, but soon realizes that the fabled
Panther King in the stories his mum used to tell him is real. Don Weaso comes to
the king's side and is given his bounty, revealing that the whole thing was a
setup. Berri thinks that she can intimidate the king, but instead, Don Weaso
shoots her in the chest. Berri dies choking in Conker's arms. The king begins to
feel a bit sick. The professor comes to his side and then goes to Conker, saying
he's going to take him. The king's problem is getting worse. He suddenly can't
breathe, and the professor says the incubation period is almost complete. The
latest addition to his plans takes shape since Conker got rid of the Tediz as a
Xenomorph pops out of the king's chest, killing him. The professor is awed by
the Xenomorph's beauty and decides to go into space, as he is fed up by the
outdated castle and lack of technology. He commands the alien to attack Conker.

                             Final Boss - Xenomorph

                              Difficulty : 9.5/10

Go over to your right where the Panther King was sitting. On the wall of the
ledge he was sitting on is a switch. Jump to pull it, opening up an air duct
that sucks the air into space. The Panther King's body is sucked into space and
a door opens to reveal a space suit. Go to the side of the room and hop into the
space suit. The professor will be sucked into space followed by Berri. Head up
to the Xenomorph and it will spin its tail around (it can also bite you). To
avoid the tailspin, hold A to hover for a while. You can hold Z to block, which
lets you avoid getting hurt by the bite. Hop over a tailspin, then press B a
bunch of times to punch him until you uppercut him, stunning him. Fly over to
the Bowser, I mean the Xenomorph's tail, which Conker will grab him by. Start
spinning him around (move the joystick in slow circles or it won't work) until
he stops scratching the floor. When the time is right, press B to throw him into
the air duct. He comes back out, though, so the battle isn't over.

This time, the Xenomorph is faster and also can dodge your punches. There's no
chocolate in the room, so you'll need to conserve energy. The Xenomorph also can
jump over you or backup, so beware. Go near it and dodge two tailspins. Right
after the second spin, punch it until it's stunned. Glide over it and grab it's
tail, then spin it. Once it stops scratching the ground, throw it into the air
duct. It comes back once more, so the battle presses on.

This time, the Xenomorph jumps over you a lot and is quite good at dodging your
punches, so things get quite difficult. I recommend getting close to it. If it
spins its tail, jump, but hope that it bites. If it bites, hold Z and block it,
which stuns it for a second. Punch it until he's stunned, then glide over him
and pick up the tail. Throw the Xenomorph into the air duct for the third time.

| 14d                             End Cutscene                        CHPT9P04 |

It looks like it was over, but the Xenomorph leaps out of the air. Just as he is
about to kill Conker, he freezes in midair. Conker jumps out of the spacesuit
and realizes the game has locked up. He calls out to the developers, who start
IMing him. Conker agrees to keep the lockup a secret if they help him out a bit.
First, they transport him to a blank white background and give him a bunch of
weapons. Conker chooses a double-barreled gun and a sword. The developers take
Conker back to the throne room, where Conker unfreezes the game and uses the
sword to decapitate the Xenomorph. Franky the pitchfork and the Panther King's
guards enter the throne room. The guards decided to make Conker king, but Conker
doesn't really want to be king. He realizes he forgot to ask the developers to
bring Berri back to life, but they are gone now. Characters from the game come
back to visit Conker, including Marvin the mouse, the paint pot and brush,
Rodent, and the red lady cog. The characters cheer "Long live the king!" So...
there he is. King. King of all the land. He guesses you know the characters
surrounding him now, because he certainly does. Conker may be king, and has all
the money in the world, plus the land, but he doesn't really want it. All he
wants is to go home with Berri and have a bottle of beer. It's true... the grass
is always greener. You don't really know what you've got until it's gone. The
credits roll.

In the Cock and Plucker Bar Conker was in during the opening sequence of the
game, Conker orders scotch, single malt, speyside, no ice. The bar tender
notices Conker doesn't look too good, but he doesn't want to talk about it. He
goes outside a bit drunk and sees it isn't looking too good out.

|                         =~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~                         |
|           (15)           |      Appendicies       |          APPEND          |
|                         ~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=                         |

| 15a                            Tail Locations                           TAIL |

                                   II. Windy

1. Behind the NAUGHTY/NICE sign at the bottom of the slope at the start.
2. Inside poo cabin, go to the rope that you use to jump to the top beam. From
   the top beam, instead of heading into the alcove, go to the other end of the
   beam, where you'll find a tail.

                                 III. Barn Boys

1. In the cheese farm where you find the cheese for Marvin, head along the huge
   cheese ledges around the farm. Highjump off one of them towards the left side
   and a lightbulb will appear. Press B to turn into an avil, destroying the
   cheese and revealing a tail.
2. After feeding Marvin the mouse enough cheese to kill him, jump onto the
   fatass bitch that falls off the block. Jump onto the pipe and tailspin to the
   barn ledge to the left. Keep heading around the sides of the building,
   jumping gaps, until you find a tail.
3. In the cave in the "moat" around the barn that is unlocked after defeating
   Haybot with cash in it, there is a tail.

                                 IV. Bats Tower

1. Along the river to the bullfish, there are waterfalls on the left wall.
   Behind the first one you'll find a tail.

                                  V. Sloprano

- After going into the air that the Great Mighty Poo is flushed into, you'll
  find a pool of water. Around the pool is a tail.

                                  VI. Uga Buga

1. On the back of the dinosaur idol. After sacrificing the baby dinosaur, you
   can use the monk that comes out of the idol's mouth to get on top of it.
2. After completing the chapter and getting to Uga Buga's girlfriend, head into
   the opening behind her. You'll have to cross a bridge leading to a long path.
   You would normally go right to leave the chapter, but instead, highjump on
   top of the entrance, then tailspin to the left. Keep heading around the left
   until you find the tail, which is worth five tails.

| 15b                             Cheat Codes                           CHEATS |

WELDERSBENCH      - Unlocks all chapters
PRINCEALBERT      - Unlocks Barn Boys chapter
CLAMPIRATE        - Unlocks Bats Tower chapter
ANCHOVYBAY        - Unlocks Sloprano Chapter
MONKEYSCHIN       - Unlocks Uga Buga Chapter
SPANIELSEARS      - Unlocks Spooky Chapter
BEELZEBUBSBUM     - Unlocks Its War! Chapter
CHOCOLATESTARFISH - Unlocks Heist chapter

| 15c                           Legal Disclaimer                        LEGALD |

This FAQ may not appear in any way, shape, or form on any site but gamefaqs.com
without express, written persmission from me, the author. Understand that this
document is protected by copyright, and to publically display it without
permission is a violation of copyright. However, IF I DO give you permission to
use this document on your site, you are welcome to do so. But please, DO NOT use
it UNTIL (read: UNTIL) I give you permission.

All trademarks and related indicia belong to their respective owners and holders
, NOT me!

Copyright 2007 Ethan Alwaise

| 15d                          Contact Information                    CONTACTI |

PLEASE read this before attempting to contact me.

The only way you can contact me is to email me at zoophoria@gmail.com. Please
include "Conker's Bad Fur Day FAQ" in the title so I'm aware that
it's not junk.

You are allowed to email me about... suggestions for the FAQ. If I messed up,
which I probably have done several times, feel free to correct it, and I'll fix
the mistake and credit you. You can also praise my FAQ, or hate on my FAQ. I
appreciate praise and ignore hate mail. The last thing you can email me about is
permission to use the FAQ. Sure, you may use my FAQ IF AND ONLY IF I GIVE YOU

You MAY NOT email me about... spam. Please! I do NOT need spam! It's the
absolute worst thing you can email me. Also don't email me with spelling/grammar
corrections, which I can find on my own. That's pretty much it.

| 15e                               Credits                             CREDIT |

wikipedia - The wikipedia website had the name I used for the final boss.

bananagirl - I got the story from her FAQ as I lost my instruction manual. Her
             FAQ also informed me of the use of the down C button.

Dallas - His FAQ was helpful for the weapons section, Clang's Lair, and a few
         strategies in different sections.

Nemesis/Pyro Vesten - Their guide made me realize the haybot trick.

coldryon/HoOteYhOo/Starky27 - They contributed the cheats I put in.

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