Review by Phweemaggot

Reviewed: 11/03/04

Play a real Worms game instead.

Worms has always been THE strategy game. It’s challenging without being overly complicated. But you know what they say about too much of a good thing. Or you will, after playing this game.

Worms isn’t much to look at. The terrain is done nicely, particularly the clouds, but the worms and weapons just look bland. That can pass on a computer monitor or TV screen, where it can be smoothed over, but when everything is pixilated to Hell and back, you need all the points you can get. There is the added bonus of an option that lets you change the setting of your battle, but turning a palm tree into a snowman doesn’t make it any more appealing.

It has been said that if you won’t do something right, you should not do it at all. I wish Team 17’s mobile division had followed this bit of wisdom. There are two pieces of music used. The first is a five second bit of military-reminiscent clicking. It will play itself at random times while you scroll through menus. The second, you will never hear, for two reasons. The first is that it only plays during a turn before a shot is made. There is no reason that either you or the computer will take more then two seconds to shoot, giving it very little time to play. The second, more important reason is that you can only hear it by holding the phone up to your ear, which you are not likely to be doing while playing a game. In addition to this, there’s a slight staticy noise during shots, and after them, a worm will make an obnoxious yell. These, also, will only be heard with the phone pressed against your ear.

Worms games are great because of the variety. Two or three dozen weapons and tools. A few different moves to help you get around. Complicated, randomly generated terrains can be formed with a single click, and worms are placed around them accordingly. Oh, but we don’t get that in the cell phone version. Weapons? Too many, cut it down to five. Tools? Ha, no. Moves? They can walk sideways and aim, what more do they want? Terrain is overrated, anyway. Just stick a few bumps on a flat plane, and put a worm on one of them. Oh, but make the bumps rocks! And flowers! Ooh, ooh, snowmen! SNOWMEN!

Here’s what we have left: Two worms on each side of an island fire at each other until one team dies. That team will, of course, be the computer, since the AI just loves to shoot itself. There is no real movement involved, since you can’t jump onto/over the bumps. Despite this oversimplified formula, it will still confuse Worms veterans with its drastic change in weapon behavior from previous games. Think you know how the mortar works? Oh, think again. Speaking of weapons, they included dynamite. No, not throwing dynamite. They actually think you’ll blast through four rocks and crawl your slow ass over to the enemy just to blow them up.

Overview:
Graphics-6 Ugly.
Sound-3 They shouldn’t of even tried.
Gameplay-6 Not that great.
Controls-8 Hard to use, but easier since you don’t have to move very fast.

Pros:
-Portable
-Cheap

Cons:
-Ugly
-Boring

Buy?
Lord no.

Recommend instead?
Worms World Party for PC. Simply amazing.

I have to say, this is a poor excuse for a game. If you have a few hours to kill waiting in the airport, you can pass a little time with it, but otherwise, steer clear.

Rating:   2.5 - Playable

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