Review by HeoandReo

Reviewed: 04/23/07

A virtually unplayable mess.

Ah, yes. Disney. Formerly a worldwide respected animation company turned into the bane of emos and 12-year old immature boys everywhere in the world. Going through the cycle from the slapstick humour of the early days to catering to tween-age girls who think they'd make a good date for people like Justin Timberlake. Disney's had a good run, and oftentimes, their games showing up on a system generally tells me that the aforementioned system is nearly dead. Of course, as Disney wants to go out and create a good game once in a while, they'll ask for another company's help. First Capcom, then Square, and now, Konami. Now, usually, I have high hopes for Konami games, but it's probably best to put this game under the rug for their reputation's sake.

Like the title says, this game is about Disney characters racing, cleverly disguised as a snowboarding game. Now with a push of a button, you can make Mickey jump, Donald grind, and do a trick with Goofy... except you can't really do a thing, because the controls are so awful, and it's difficult to figure out what you're doing, because of the poor graphics and the 'so bad it's bad' sound distracting you. But I should elaborate on that later. First, I'll state the basics.

Now, you have to pick a character, which you can choose from a variety of classic Disney characters from the golden ages. Afterwards, you can pick your board, which really does nothing except cosmetic effect. They say that some have special effects, but I haven't noticed.

After you've picked your character, and your 'board', you're off to shred the mountains. And this is where everything gets worse.

Take a look at how everything's displayed. A pretty half-baked attempt at 3-D resolution on a small screen, right? You can see pixels everywhere, and everything just looks badly designed. And listen to the music. What is this? Some kind of broken synthesizer popping out tunes that scratch your ears? And try to move your character, or do a trick. You can't, right? Blame the horrendous controls.

After about an hour or so of trying, I then give up, leaving it for a rainy day to observe some more. It tried to be fun, but it was, as in the title, virtually unplayable. And a mess.

So, let's check and recheck out the previous and other aspects of the game, eh?

Graphics: 7/15. It's a pretty bad attempt at 3-D, as I said earlier. Then again, this was a time where the GBA was a hit-or-miss for 3-D games. The designs are bland, the character designs suck, and you can't make heads or tails of anything.

Music/Sound: 5/15. Like Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets reviewed earlier, this game has NES-quality sound. It's better NES-quality sound, though, because of some of the 'whooshs' and the drums in areas like the title and menu screens, but the unoriginal, quick-looping, terrible music and the disturbing sound effects while boarding really bring this score down low.

Gameplay: 11/30. So... you want to get your character to the bottom of the hill before the computer. The AI's tough. The hills are brutal, and everything else is basically a pile of shambles. It doesn't matter what character you choose, as about a good 9 out of 10 times, you'll lose by a large margin. The tenth time is a small margin. The tracks aren't very nice, either. You have corkscrew turns, half-second decisions, and wipeout areas up the wazoo.

Control: 1/15. This is one of the main factors of unplayability here. You can somewhat steer your character, but they turn very slowly, and oftentimes, this leads to a crash. It's also quite difficult to nail a trick, because you have to enter a quick button combination within a short amount of time. Everything reacts slowly, and it's hard to use effectively.

Story: 2/10. Racing games traditionally don't have a story. So I'm feeling lenient today.

Tolerance (i.e. Difficulty.): 4/15. Too hard. The melding of bad graphics, bad music, and slippery controls add up to the curse-causing embodiments that is the AI and the courses.

Extras/Replay: 1/10. So you just get new boards or something. Whoopee. And every one controls roughly the same anyway, so it's more or less a waste of time.

Total: 7+5+11+1+2+4+1 = 34/100. (Rounded to 3/10.)

Rent? Buy? Shred all over it, dude?: Are you kidding? Don't shred just one copy, shred them all! Leave a good mass of busted wires and broken plastic on the slope!

Closing Words: This is probably one of the many reasons many of us don't respect the Disney foray into the gaming industry these days. The earlier years were more faithful and fun, but now, this is the era of suffering and torture for every new game churned from Walt's vision.

An utter disappointment in all ways, shapes and forms.

Rating:   1.5 - Bad

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