Review by Score
Reviewed: 02/09/02 | Updated: 02/09/02
Destroying small animals by slamming giant ice blocks into them! Who could ask for more!?
In answer to the opening question.. nobody. Nobody except greedy people who steal land from the Indians and Tony Danza, but we won't go into that for this a review of Pengo! The point of this game? To smash small animals with blocks of ice. You are Pengo, a red penguin that has the undying urge to kill the Sno-bees, who seem to have the instinct to relentlessly slam into penguins. Seems to be a hate-hate relationship, and one that will surely end up in the destruction of Antarctica.. ice blocks aren't exactly a renewable resource, and those penguins are pushing them at an alarming rate. Pretty soon we're gonna see Sally Struthers walking around an iceless Antarctica full of thin penguins begging us for money to save the poor flightless, tuxedo wearing birds. Their society may be thriving right now, with the caste system they have going with emperor penguins at the top, but it won't last long.
Now, going back to the topic at hand, which is Pengo(in case you had forgotten), the game is a simple concept. You are a penguin, you have to crush the Sno-bees with the blocks of ice that are placed around the screen. The screen does not scroll, so you know your limitations, and there are no Sno-bee sneak attacks. You have to options when you come up to an ice block.. you can crush it using the penguin flipper of doom, or you can push it and watch it slide until it hits a wall or another ice block, hopefully catching an unsuspecting Sno-bee along the way. There are also three super-mega-ultra-hyper special diamond blocks in each level as well, which CANNOT be destroyed. I assume that they are made of the same indestructible material as the black boxes in airplanes.. either that or some really old oatmeal.
The graphics are nothing spectacular.. they have that wonderful old arcade game feel to them, yet they are better than the old arcade game's. You are a small red penguin.. though I'm not sure you'd be able to tell that from the graphics alone. The levels aren't too spectacular, either.. but that's ok, because the game has something that makes up for it with the intermissions that come every few levels.. hoo boy do I love the intermissions. They have the one thing that no game is complete without.. that's right, DANCING PENGUINS! I ain't gonna spoil the game for you by telling you how they dance, you'll have to take the challenge of Pengo and discover it yourselves.
The sound is pretty much what you'd expect from a game like this on Gamegear.. unless you were expecting Pengo to swear like a sailor, and the Sno-bees to scream in agony as the ice blocks send them to a painful death, then it would be nothing like you'd expect!
This is where Pengo really shines.. this game is a TON of fun to play. The controls are A-OK, but a few times they have failed me when things got too dicey while I was surrounded by a sudden Sno-bee infestation. The game starts off pretty simple, but steadily gets harder til it gets to the point where you just can't do it anymore.. which is nice because some games really suck with difficulty, either being too easy, too hard, or too easy and then suddenly too hard. This is the kind of game you keep getting better at, though, and I don't think it ever ends, so good luck!
Well, that's more or less my review... but as a super special bonus for all you readers out there, I have a crappé Pengo haiku for your reading pleasure:
Get those darn Sno-bees
Smash them good with large ice blocks
Pengo can do it
And since as a super bonus, a second haiku:
Penguins should rule Earth
They should take over humans
Yes, that would be good
There you go. Two crappy haikus, and the only Pengo review this place has to offer(as of date), so you should feel quite satisfied, and have a strange urge to smoke a cigarette.
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