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Game Script by Super Slash

Version: 1.1 | Updated: 12/03/07

                                 Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
                                              Game Script
                                            By: Super Slash
                                             Version: 1.1
                                      Email: ganonpuppet@yahoo.com

                                      VERSION HISTORY

                                   v 1.1 - Reorganized the Table of Contents a
                                           bit; now it's easier to look at
                                   v 1.0 - Submitted the guide

NOTE: To find what you're looking for, hold Ctrl and press F (Apple for Macs),
      and type in, for example "II. Game Script", without the quotations. Do
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      keyword with the brackets, and press Enter twice.

                                     TABLE OF CONTENTS

                               II.........Game Script
                              .............Prologue  [PRLG]
                              ............Chapter 1  [CHP1]
                              .....Peach's Event #1  [PCH1]
                              ....Bowser's Event #1  [BWS1]
                              ...Before Chapter Two  [BFC2]
                              ............Chapter 2  [CHP2]
                              .....Peach's Event #2  [PCH2]
                              ....Bowser's Event #2  [BWS2]
                              .Before Chapter Three  [BFC3]
                              ............Chapter 3  [CHP3]
                              .....Peach's Event #3  [PCH3]
                              ....Bowser's Event #3  [BWS3]
                              ..Before Chapter Four  [BFC4]
                              ............Chapter 4  [CHP4]
                              .....Peach's Event #4  [PCH4]
                              ....Bowser's Event #4  [BWS4]
                              ..Before Chapter Five  [BFC5]
                              ............Chapter 5  [CHP5]
                              .....Peach's Event #5  [PCH5]
                              ....Bowser's Event #5  [BWS5]
                              ...Before Chapter Six  [BFC6]
                              ............Chapter 6  [CHP6]
                              .....Peach's Event #6  [PCH6]
                              ....Bowser's Event #6  [BWS6]
                              .Before Chapter Seven  [BFC7]
                              ............Chapter 7  [CHP7]
                              ....Bowser's Event #7  [BWS7]
                              .Before Chapter Eight  [BFC8]
                              ............Chapter 8  [CHP8]
                              ...............Ending  [ENDG]
                              III.........Email Info

I. Introduction

This guide was created because there was currently no game script available for
the game (I'm really surprised about that, to be honest). So, I decided to make
one, from the beginning of the game to the very end. However, you should take
note that I will not be listing the dialogue for every character in every
scene. That would take entirely too long. Instead, I'm just going to put the
dialogue of the party member that I used for that part of the game. I may put
the rest of the character's dialogue eventually as I go through the game more,
but I'm not positive. Also, I won't be listing the dialogue for the NPCs, just
the story. Without further ado, let's begin!


II. Game Script

In this section, I will list the script of the whole game, from the prologue to
the very end of the game.


[The game starts with Parakarry the Koopa Troopa, delivering a letter to Mario
 and Luigi's mailbox]

Parakarry: Mail call!

[Parakarry flies off, and Luigi walks outside. He takes the letter and heads
 back inside]

Luigi: Hey, Bro! Check it out! A letter from Princess Peach arrived for you!

[He walks up to Mario]

Luigi: I'll just read it to you, how's that sound?

Luigi: Ahem! Now let's see here...

[A letter and a harbor appears onscreen]

"Hello there, Mario! I am now on holiday, traveling in the Mushroom Kingdom. In
 my travels, I came into possession of a mystical map...a treasure map,
 actually. It was inside a box I got from an old merchant in a town called
 Rogueport. But since it would be too difficult for me to try to go find the
 treasure all by myself...I thought you could help me hunt for it! You will, of
 course, won't you? I've included the map with this letter, so please bring it
 with you when you come. I'll meet you at Rogueport. (That means you MUST

[The scene switches back to Mario and Luigi's house]

Luigi: What do you know? It's true! There's a weathered old map in here with
       the letter. Check it out!

[Luigi takes the map and gives it to Mario. Mario looks at it, and the words
 "Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door" appear onscreen. A boat stops in the
 middle of the sea, then it sails east and the journey begins]


Prologue: A Rogue's Welcome [PRLG]


[Mario can be heard snoring, and the captain of the boat tries to wake him up]

Captain: Excuse me... Sir?

Captain: Please wake up, sir! The town you'd been speaking of has come into
         view. Look! That's Rogueport!

[Mario opens his eyes and sees Rogueport in the distance]

Captain: You see? We'll arrive shortly. Please prepare to disembark.

[The captain and Mario arrive at the Rogueport harbor]

Captain: I must apologize, sir. Our arrival was delayed just a bit by rough
         weather... Are you quite sure you want to disembark here? I...did
         tell you all the sordid tales about Rogueport on our way here, did I

[Although it isn't shown or heard, Mario replies to the captain]

Captain: What's that? I'm sorry? You say there's a princess waiting here for
         you? Is that so? Er... Of course, sir. Well, if that's what you think,
         then I won't stop you. But, uh... You be careful, sir! Don't say I
         didn't warn you!

[Mario is dropped off at the harbor as the captain sails away. Upon arriving at
 Rogueport, Mario walks ahead, as he hears the voice of a girl Goomba]

Girl: Hey! What do you want?!? Get away from me, freak!!!

[A weird-looking man in purple has nearly cornered the girl. There are also two
 men dressed in white, which look similar to the guy in purple]

Lord Crump: Oh, come off it, you airhead! I know it's tough for you, but don't
            play dumb with me! I've seen you walking around town asking for
            information about the Crystal Stars. Well, now I'm doing the
            asking, so be a good girl and tell us what you know! Right. NOW!

Girl: Never! I don't have anything to say to you creeps! Eww!

Lord Crump: I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met 
            with an untimely demise... Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're
            taking this firebrand to our fortress!

X-Naut #1: As you command, Lord Crump! We're on it!

[Crump and his X-Nauts get closer]

Girl: N-No! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!

[Mario walks up to them, and the Goomba girl takes cover behind him]

Girl: Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not likely!

Lord Crump: Whuh? *to Mario* What do you think YOU'RE doing, chump? You think
            you can screw up my plans?!?

[Mario is confused]

Lord Crump: Gah! It's always something... Looks like I'm going to have to give
            you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!

[Mario enters battle with Crump, as the Goomba girl teaches him how to fight]

Girl: Battle time, Mister Man! Just find a way to beat this freak of the week,
      OK? Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your

[He attacks Crump]

Girl: Yes! You're doing awesome! Don't you let up!

[As the battle continues, Mario hits Crump again]

Girl: You've got him on the ropes! C'mon! Keep whaling on him!

[The battle continues for a short time, and Mario defeats Crump]

Girl: You did it! You did it! YESSS! And you got Star Points!!!

Girl: Yeah, I bet you know, but you get these things called Star Points when
      you win battles. When you get 100 points, you'll go up a level. Don't
      forget that, OK?

[After the battle...]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! OK, you got a couple decent shots in, I'll
            give you that. But...unfortunately for you...that means...

Lord Crump: IT'S GO TIME!

[Millions of X-Nauts gather around Mario and the Goomba girl]

Lord Crump: PUNISH HIM!

[The X-Nauts gang up on both Mario and the Goomba girl, but she escapes and
 tells Mario to follow her]

Girl: Quick! This way!

[Mario escapes as the X-Nauts continue attacking]

Girl: Phew! What a bunch of loons! Let's just sneak out of her, what do you

[Mario nods, as he and the girl continue into the main section of Rogueport]

Lord Crump: Buh-HUUUUUH?!?

Lord Crump: *to X-Nauts* STOPPP!!!

[The X-Nauts quit attacking, as Lord Crump looks for Mario and the girl]

Lord Crump: Where'd they go?!? Huh? You! Johnson! Did you see them? Did anyone?

[The X-Nauts are clueless]

Lord Crump: Uh... Crud! They bolted!

[The scene switches back to Mario and the girl]

Girl: Wow, Mister! You...totally saved me! Thanks!

Girl: I have just GOT to give you a little reward!

[She kisses Mario]

[Mario nods]

Gooombella: Me, I already HATE it here! There are freaks and weirdos
            EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called
            Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh! I'd never come
            to a place like this if there weren't some legendary treasure here.

[Mario responds by raising his hand]

Goombella: What? You're looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?

[Mario nods]

Goombella: Whoa whoa WHOA, bucko! Whatcha got there?

[He shows Goombella the map]

Goombella: Omigosh! Is... Isn't that a treasure map?! You HAVE to tell me where
           you got that!

[Mario responds by raising his hand]

Goombella: ...Princess Peach? What?

Voice: Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master Mario!

[Toadsworth appears. A group of Piantas can be seen in the background, beating
 up a guard with a spear]

Toadsworth: Bit of a coincidence, bumping into one another in this sort of
            place, hm? Ho ho! So tell me, Master Mario, what in the world
            brings you to this wretched little burg?

[Mario responds by raising his hand]

Toadsworth: ...Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? Princess Peach sent you a letter and a
            treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport?!?

[Mario responds again]

Toadsworth: You're asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm... I was about to ask
            you that. We stoped in this town to acquire a spot of fuel for our
            ship, don't you know... I only took my eye off her for a moment,
            but as soon as I did, she vanished.

[Mario is shocked]

Toadsworth: You know how headstrong she is, Mario... I just assumed she'd be
            back momentarily... But at this point, I fear we must embrace the
            possibility that she may never return. I've been at a loss as to
            what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!

[Mario responds]

Toadsworth: But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll
            find her! Surely! But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is
            not it. I leave this task to you.

[Mario responds]

Toadsworth: I believe I'll recline in the Inn right over there and enjoy a spot
            of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, particularly if
            you find your HP (Heart Points) running low. Just drop on INN! Ho
            ho! ...Yes, anyway, a little rest there will fill all of your HP. I
            must say, though, the rest of this town is a bit...rough. Yes,
            rough, indeed...

[Toadsworth walks into the Inn while mumbling to himself]

Goombella: Um... Princess Peach? Did he mean, like, Peach, the Mushroom Kingdom
           princess?!? The princess who always gets nabbed by Bowser, the Koopa
           king? The one you rescue? Wait a sec'! This is crazy! Princess...
           PEACH sent you that treasure map?

[Mario nods]

Goombella: Whoa. This is really intense. Well, where could she have gone, then,
           do you think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to
           find the treasure on her own?

[Mario thinks]

Goombella: Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is
           here researching that treasure. We'll show him your map! If we start
           looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess

[Mario nods]

Goombella: Great! We're all good, then! Let's go, Mario!

"Goombella joined your party!"

"Goombella's Abilities: A Primer"

"Press X to get information about nearby people, places, and objects."

Goombella: This is Rogueport Plaza. It's the center of town, and the main
           business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet,
           including more than a few shady characters.

Goombella: Anytime you press X when there's no one around, I'll tell you about
           where we are!

[A Goomba walks in]

Goombella: That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always complaining about being
           swindled or mugged...

Goombella: If you press X when there's somebody nearby, I'll tell you about him
           or her! So? Did you get all that?

"Goombella can give you hints when she answers, so ask her for information
 often! And of course, Goombella can be quite helpful in battle, too. She jumps
 in the air to attack enemies with a nasty Headbonk. She can also look up enemy
 HP and weaknesses with her Tattle ability!"

[After the introduction...]

Goombella: First off, we gotta go find my professor. Thing is, since I just got
           to town myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives. So keep
           an eye out! Here's what Professor Frankly looks like! *picture*

[As Mario and Goombella continue to the eastern side of Rogueport, a bandit
 runs into them and steals their coins]

Bandit: Oops! Pardon me, sucker!

[The bandit runs off]

Goombella: Hey! What's your beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!

[She looks for the bandit, but to no avail]

Goombella: Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your coins!

[Mario is surprised]

Goombella: That is SO lame! Ugh! I HATE this town!

[They both go searching for the bandit, and eventually find his hideout]

Bandit: Eeeeeeeeeeeooops!

Bandit: Uh... Fancy meeting you here! You're pretty dang persistent, buddy!
        What a pain! Fine! FINE, OK? You got me. I'll give you your coins
        back. Here.

[They get their coins back, and then they continue back to the eastern side of
 Rogueport. They find Frankly's house and enter it]

Goombella: Oh, hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!

Professor Frankly: Whuzzuh??? Who's there? Who wants me?

[Mario and Goombella walk up to him]

Professor Frankly: Ah. Yes. You. Now, you, uh... I've seen your face before...
                   Yes, that face... Wait for it... Just a moment... Don't tell
                   me, now! Silence! I'll get it right!

Professor Frankly: Ummm... It's not Goombriel... Err... It's not Elizagoom...

Professor Frankly: Hrrmmmm...

Professor Frankly: Errrrmmm...

[He suddenly remembers]

Professor Frankly: A-HAAA! I've got it!!!

Professor Frankly: You're Goombella, aren't you? You were in my archaeology
                   class last year, am I right?

Goombella: Wow, yes, sir! That's me! I'm Goombella, a junior at U Goom! Gooo

Professor Frankly: Of course I remember you. Not toot my horn, but I'm pretty
                   good at remembering. You, though... You stick out in my mind
                   because you were such an exceptional student. And that guy
                   behind you is...

[Mario introduces himself]

Professor Frankly: WHO?!?

Goombella: Mario! Professor, he's Mario! You know...the famous one!

Professor Frankly: Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue
                   about what's "hip" right now. In any case, what sort of
                   errand brings you two all the way to a place like this?

Goombella: We were hoping you'd tell us about the legendary treasure said to be
           below Rogueport! I thought that if anyone knew anything about it,
           you would, Professor Frankly...

Professor Frankly: Of course I know about it. The reason I came here was to
                   study that very subject. But why do you tykes want to learn
                   about the legendary treasure? You know that most say it's a
                   little more than a fairy tale, don't you?

Goombella: Archaeologists and historians have to search for truth in those
           fairy tales, though! Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does
           exist! And I REALLY want to find it!

Professor Frankly: Good point! And well made! In that case, I'll cooperate with
                   you however I can. First of all, about the treasure... There
                   are many mysteries surrounding it.

Professor Frankly: Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while
                   others say it's a magical item. Some books say it's actually
                   a monster, while still others claim it's an empty chest...
                   So many different theories... Obviously, it's impossible to
                   divine the truth among them. ...But all agree on one point:
                   to find the treasure, one must have the Crystal Stars!

Goombella: "To find the treasure of yore, take the seven Crystal Stars to the
            Thousand-Year Door!" ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old
            saying that super-elderly people pass down?

Professor Frankly: Indeed, the same. As the saying goes, if you want to find
                   the legendary treasure... You must first collect the seven
                   Crystal Stars.

Goombella: "Hold the Magical Map aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year
            Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of
            yesterday." Yeah... A lot of the lore I've read says that if this
            Magical Map is taken to the doorway...

Goombella: ...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!

Professor Frankly: Correct! And the Thousand-Year Door is supposedly here, deep
                   beneath this town. Yet the critical piece of the puzzle--the
                   Magical Map--is lost. If only we had that map!

Goombella: But we DO have it, Professor! Or... Well, not "we", exactly... MARIO
           has the Magical Map!

[Frankly is surprised]

Professor Frankly: WHAAAT??? Hummina hubbity hubbida hippity hoobida hammala
                   huffala hoofala... REALLY? You... You actually have it?
                   Could I...just take a quick look at it, if you don't mind?

[Mario gives Frankly the Magical Map]

Professor Frankly: Astounding! This is it! The real thing! The one and only
                   Magical Map!

[He gives it back to Mario]

Professor Frankly: You, son, are my HERO! You're great! Fantastic! WONDERFUL,
                   even! With this... We can find the Crystal Stars just by
                   holding this aloft before the legendary door!

Goombella: Right on, Professor!

Professor Frankly: Good golly, what are we doing just sitting here, then?!?
                   Goombella! Mario! Off we must go, this instant! Let's take
                   the Magical Map to the legendary door!

[The three head outside, and Frankly walks up to a fence with a pipe behind it]

Professor Frankly: I bet you didn't know this rotten old thing came off, did
                   you? Heh heh!

[He takes off a piece of the fence and walks up to the pipe]

Professor Frankly: We can use this pipe to get down under the city streets!
                   Come on! Both of you! Let's get moving!

[Mario and Goombella walk up to the professor]

Professor Frankly: Oh, wait, hang on a second... Mario! Something just occured
                   to me.

Professor Frankly: I'm fairly certain there are quite a few hoodlums below. So,
                   uh...keep your guard up. You two do know about your Action
                   Commands, don't you?

 - Of course!
 - Nope.

[If "Nope." is chosen...]

Professor Frankly: Hmmph! Positively shocking! In that case, you ought to take
                   a second to learn them. We'll have a little practice
                   session. Goombella, you can be Mario's opponent.

Goombella: What?!? Me? Are you nuts?!? Oh, gee, ummmmmm... Uh, OK. I'll do my
           best, I guess!

[A battle begins for training regarding Action Commands]

Professor Frankly: First, we'll practice the Jump Action Command. That OK with
                   the both of you? Choose the Jump command, then choose which
                   enemy you'll attack.

[Mario chooses "Jump" and chooses to attack Goombella]

Professor Frankly: When you choose your target, the Action Command details
                   appear down below, there.

[Mario jumps at Goombella. Upon touching her head...]

Professor Frankly: There! Right there, Mario! Just before you land on your
                   enenmy, press A again.

[Mario hits Goombella twice in a row, performing an Action Command]

Professor Frankly: You'll know you did it right when "NICE" appears. You can do
                   more damage this way!

Professor Frankly: Now it's your turn to attack, Goombella. Shake a leg!

Goombella: OK... Here goes, Mario!

[Goombella jumps. When her head touches Mario's head...]

Professor Frankly: Hold up! Right there, Mario! Press A just before your enemy
                   strikes you.

[Mario blocks Goombella's attack, performing another Action Command]

Professor Frankly: You did a Guard Action Command! Guarding well will reduce
                   the damage you take! But listen: you can't just repeatedly
                   tap A to guard. That...will not work. Oh, and remember this:
                   the Action Commands change depending on the attack. Better
                   stay on your toes! Anyway, next let's practice Hammer Action

[Mario selects "Hammer" and chooses to attack Goombella]

Professor Frankly: Once you choose the enemy you're going to attack, Mario,
                   tilt and hold *Control Stick symbol* Left.

[Mario walks up one step]

Professor Frankly: Keep holding *Control Stick symbol* Left, now! Don't let go!

[Mario holds his hammer back until a star lights up]

Professor Frankly: Release *Control Stick symbol* as soon as * lights up.

[Mario hits Goombella with the hammer]

Professor Frankly: Another rousing Action Command success! How did that feel,
                   Mario? Got a pretty good grasp on Action Commands now?

Professor Frankly: Excellent. Now for a real treat: I'll teach you a really
                   incredible technique! Goombella, try to attack Mario one
                   more time.

Goombella: You got it, Professor!

[Goombella attacks Mario and stops at his head]

Professor Frankly: Freeze right there, Mario! This time, press B just before
                   the enemy attack lands.

[Mario dodges Goombella's attack by doing a Superguard, damaging her]

Goombella: Yeeeowch!

Professor Frankly: See? You turned the foe's attack back on him! I mean, her!
                   That's a Superguard! If you do a Superguard with B, you take
                   no damage...AND damage your enemy in return. But...
                   Superguards are harder to do than standard A guards. Choose
                   wisely between them.

Professor Frankly: And that concludes Action Commands 101! Har har har!
                   Sorry... Professorial humor. How'd that go over? Would you
                   like to practice your Action Commands a bit more?

 - Yeah
 - Nope, got it!

[If "Yeah" is chosen, the tutorial repeats itself]

[If "Nope, got it!" is chosen...]

Professor Frankly: I expected nothing less, Mario! You're a quick learner!
                   You're already a pro, I'm sure!

[The tutorial ends now]

Professor Frankly: Well, I do believe now we're all set for our quest, hmm? So
                   down below we go! Hop up onto the pipe and tilt *Control
                   Stick symbol* Down to enter the pipe.

[If "Of course!" is chosen when Frankly asks you if you know about Action

Professor Frankly: Really? A master, are oyu? Maybe you ought to practice them
                   once, just to be safe?

 - OK, fine.
 - No thanks, I'm good.

[If "OK, fine." is chosen, he gives you the tutorial]

[If "No thanks, I'm good." is chosen...]

Professor Frankly: A bold young lad, aren't you! Very well, then! Down we go!
                   Just stand on the pipe and tilt *Control Stick symbol* Down
                   to enter it.

[The three enter the pipe leading to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

[As the three head through the sewers, they come across a trio of Goombas]

Voice: Hey! Hey, man! What's up? Who's the hottie you got there with you?

[They notice the Goombas]

Paragoomba: Wassup, baby? Why don't you hang with us for a while? We play real

Spiny Goomba: Man, what's a FINE-lookin' Goomba doin' with a tubby mustache man
              like that?!?

Goombella: Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that you boys think I'm cute! Seriously!
           Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out
           of our way!

Goomba: Ouch! That was cold!

Paragoomba: What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!

Spiny Goomba: Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!

[They enter battle with the Goomba trio]

Professor Frankly: A Goomba, a Spiny Goomba, and a Paragoomba! My! The whole
                   Goomba family tree!

Professor Frankly: The only one I should warn you about is that fellow in the
                   middle: the Spiny Goomba. See that spike on his head? Well,
                   jump on that and you're the one who'll take damage!

Professor Frankly: The Paragoomba's airborne, so your hammer won't reach.
                   You'll have to jump for him.

Professor Frankly: Always take your opponent's situation into consideration
                   when fighting! Always!

Professor Frankly: ...Oh! That's right! I forgot to tell you something vital!
                   You can press Y to change the order you two attack in! You
                   can attack first if you feel like it, Goombella. Don't
                   forget that!

[Mario and Goombella win the fight. After the battle...]

Paragoomba: Oweeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[The three run away]

Goombella: Ha! Later on, losers! That felt AWESOME!

Professor Frankly: Are you ready, Mario? There are plenty more where they came
                   from, and they'll all have it in for us. When they attack,
                   try to hammer them or jump on them while in the field...
                   Attack successfully and you can perform a First Strike when
                   you enter battle. So if an enemy catches sight of you, be
                   sure to thump him as you go into battle.

[The three continue through more of the sewers. They encounter a strange
 creature with a green ball hanging from its head, and it escapes through a
 crack in the wall. As they go through more of the sewers, they find a black
 chest inside of a nearly empty room. Mario examines the chest]

Goombella: Whoa!

[The chest wiggles]

Black Chest: Hey! You! Can you hear me?

Black Chest: You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!

[Mario is confused]

Black Chest: Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking be in
             this box. I was bummed. I've been here ever since, waiting a
             long, LONG time for the hero to come by! ...So, yeah, anyway, big
             guy... What brings a hero like you to a place like this?

Professor Frankly: Er, Mario... A word with you? I'm not exactly confident that
                   we can trust this...box. I think it may be best not to
                   mention that we're looking for the Crystal Stars. ...Well,
                   drat. I just said it out loud! What's wrong with me?

Black Chest: Oh, yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you, now? So you
             really are a hero. Well, you're DEFENITELY gonna need my help if
             you hope to get those bad boys. So, first you should look for the
             key to this box. Then use it to let me out. Defenitely. By the
             way, the key looks like this: *picture*

Goombella: Well, what do you think we oughta do, Mario?

[Mario thinks]

Black Chest: Well, I know MY vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's
             around here somewhere. C'mon! Being stuck in a box is no picnic!
             I'm counting on you, O Great Legendary Hero!

[They find the key and bring it back to the chest]

Black Chest: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh, man, I owe you

[Mario uses the key to unlock the chest]

Black Chest: YESSSSSSSSS! Thank... Ha! Thank NOTHING!

Black Chest: Whee hee! Fooooooools!

[The chest opens up, revealing a strange monster]

Monster: Oh, BOY, did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, you think I was
         gonna help you?!? Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering
         I've endured in that stupid box!

Monster: Yeah! Sorry, but those are the breaks! I'm gonna cast an evil,
         terrible curse upon you!

Monster: Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOOO! You're cursed!

[Mario gets cursed by the monster]

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you
         deserved!!! You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped?
         Then listen well! From now on, if you press Y in certain areas, you'll
         turn into a paper airplane! Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest
         of your days under my terrible curse! Whee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, I
         can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED!!!

[An airplane panel is shown]

Monster: This curse is pretty rough, I guess, so I suppose I owe it to you to
         explain it. Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one,
         the floor will start to glow.

[Mario walks on it and the panel glows]

Monster: Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing Y! And then, bam!
         You're a paper airplane!

[Mario turns into an airplane and flies through the air]

Monster: The worst part of this curse is that you must tilt *Control Stick
         symbol* Left and Right to control yourself. I guess if you got good at
         it, you might fly a long way...but that's the ONLY good thing. So, be
         honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing that's ever
         happened to you?

 - I zoned out. What was that?
 - Yes. I get it. It's terrible.

[If "I zoned out. What was that?" is chosen, Mario turns back to normal]

Monster: Yes! It's so frightening, you lost control of your brain! Listen once
         more, crybaby!

[Then, the tutorial commences again. If "Yes. I get it. It's terrible." is

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee hee! If you press B, you MIGHT return to normal!

[Mario returns to normal]

Monster: Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee!

[The monster disappears]

Goombella: So, uh... Wow. Just wow. What was THAT guy's beef?

[Using Mario's newfound Paper Airplane ability, they reach a new room. This
 room happens to have the legendary Thousand-Year Door inside]

Professor Frankly: Oh! Mario! Goombella! Look...at...THAT!

[The legendary door is shown]

Professor Frankly: It's the Thousand-Year Door spoken of in the legends! I
                   can't believe it's real! So the legends are all true! There
                   it is, big as life! Come! Let's move closer!

[They approach the door]

Professor Frankly: Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What
                   could it be, you think?

[Mario stands on the pedestal. A light surrounds the center of the platform,
 and a weird diagram-like thing appears]

Goombella: Professor! What's going on?

[Mario's Magical Map rises up towards the door, and a new location is added to
 it. A Crystal Star also appears next to it]

"The location of a Crystal Star has been recorded on your Magical Map! And
 Mario has learned a special move! You can now use Sweet Treat! Each time you
 get a Crystal Star, you'll learn a new special move!"

[Mario takes the map and looks at it. Frankly and Goombella do, as well]

Goombella: Professor! The map!!! And what was with all those crazy lights?

Professor Frankly: Hrmmm... It appears that information related to the
                   locations of the Crystal Stars appeared...

Professor Frankly: And that shining light... It looked as if a mysterious power
                   was given to Mario...

Professor Frankly: Well... One way or another... We should return to my place
                   and study the map closely.

[Mario agrees. They return to Frankly's place]



Professor Frankly: Hrmmm... Aha! I see!

Goombella: You understand it, Professor?

Professor Frankly: My dear, of course I do! Firstly, about that light we saw
                   shining on Mario... By my reckoning, Mario can now perform
                   what is known as a special move.

Goombella: A special move?

Professor Frankly: Yes, it... Well... Stuff like this is better explained by
                   example rather than words. Would you like to try it out?

 - Sure thing.
 - No thanks.

[If "Sure thing." is chosen...]

Professor Frankly: Excellent! In that case, we'll go outside, since this place
                   is a little cramped.

[They head outside and a tutorial begins]

Professor Frankly: First, take a close look at your Star Power gauge.

[The Star Power gauge is shown]

Professor Frankly: You'll see that your gauge has one power dot. Obviously
                   that's a single unit of power. So you're sitting on a single
                   dot of Star Power. With me so far? When you have Star Power
                   available, you can use a special move. Try using Sweet Treat
                   now. It's a special move that will replenish your HP and FP.

[Mario uses Sweet Treat]

Professor Frankly: Since you used one power dot, the Star Power gauge is now
                   empty. Take a look.

[An empty Star Power gauge is shown]

Professor Frankly: Even if the gauge empties out, though, you can still charge
                   it up again. That's why the audience watching your battles
                   is so very important.

[The crowd is shown]

Professor Frankly: If you can get the audience excited, you'll build up more
                   Star Power. Let me show you what I mean. Mario, Goombella...
                   Try to attack me, please.

[Goombella attacks him. If the hit wasn't an Action Command...]

Professor Frankly: That won't do. Perform like that and the audience will feel
                   ripped off, trust me. You have to execute your Action
                   Commands! Don't get stage fright, now!

[When an Action Command hits, the audience gets thrilled and gives Star Power]

Professor Frankly: Nice! See that? You thrilled your auidence, so they filled
                   up some of your gauge.

[The Star Power gauge is shown, then Frankly is attacked again. If no Action
 Command is performed...]

Professor Frankly: That's no good! Come on! If you don't perform your Action
                   Commands, people will stop coming to see you.

[When an Action Command is performed again...]

Professor Frankly: Nice! Keep building up that Star Power. Also, the more
                   exciting your battles are, the more people will come to
                   watch you fight! As you can see, that's reflected in the
                   number of members in this audience.

[The member number is shown. After Frankly is hit by an Action Command once

Professor Frankly: Mario! This is your big chance to hit it big!

[Two icons are shown]

Professor Frankly: Nail an Action Command when you have two matching icons and
                   icon wheels appear. Give it a try!

[Mario gets three of the same icon, which happens to be three Shine Sprites]

Professor Frankly: Fantastic! You matched three icons! When you match those
                   icons, the crowd goes nuts and people swarm the theater.
                   Plus, depending on the icons you match up, your HP, FP, or
                   Star Power will fill up. But...if you get three Poison
                   Mushrooms, something terrible will happen, so be careful.

Professor Frankly: Still with me? The more people in your audience, the more
                   Star Power you can get. You can also use the Appeal command
                   to get Star Power. I hope you memorized all this!

Professor Frankly: Great Goomba's ghost! Mario! Look at your audience!

[A Hammer Brother holding a hammer is shown within the audience]

Professor Frankly: Does that guy have a...hammer? He DOES, the bum! He means to
                   toss it at you!

Professor Frankly: If the audience members hit you with anything, you'll take
                   damage, obviously. You have to press X to stop them before
                   they hit you.

[Mario hits the Hammer Brother]

Professor Frankly: That's right! Sweet justice! You can press X to protect
                   yourself from the objects the audience throws at you. Of
                   course, fans of yours might toss good stuff, like coins...
                   Don't attack them!

Professor Frankly: Well, that's all I've got! Here ends my scintillating
                   lecture on special moves. Let's go back inside.

[If "No thanks." is chosen on the earlier option back at Frankly's house...]

Professor Frankly: This is VERY important. You'd better listen. I mean it. Are
                   you ready to listen?

[If you refuse again...]

Professor Frankly: Hmm... You're absolutely sure? Well, all right, then.

[From here on, this is the dialogue for the rest of this scene, regardless if
 you chose to learn about special moves or not]

Professor Frankly: Let's have a look at that Magical Map and see what we can
                   learn about the... WOW! ASTOUNDING! This map has radar-like
                   functions! It now shows the location of a Crystal Star! It
                   looks like the first Crystal Star is to be found in a place
                   called the Petal Meadows.

Goombella: Petal Meadows?

Professor Frankly: Yes. The area is a vast meadow that lies far to the east of
                   Rogueport. To tell you the truth... I've always thought that
                   place was a tad suspicious. The name Petal Meadows did come
                   up from time to time in my research.

Goombella: OK, fine. So we'll go there. Does anybody know how to get there or

Professor Frankly: I'm fairly certain that somewhere beneath the city is a pipe
                   to Petal Meadows. If you could just find that, you'd get 
                   there instantly. Pipe travel's efficient!

[Frankly closes up his book]

Professor Frankly: Say, by the way, Mario... I'm curious. Where did you get
                   that map, anyway?

[Mario responds]

Professor Frankly: From Princess Peach? Really? Her Highness sent this to you,
                   Mario? This Princess Peach... This wouldn't be her, would
                   it? *picture*

[Mario responds]

Professor Frankly: So it IS her! Your princess came to see me the other day.
                   She wanted to learn about the treasure... I told her about
                   the Crystal Stars and my suspicions about Petal Meadows...
                   It doesn't seem likely, but perhaps she tried to go to Petal
                   Meadows on her own...

Goombella: Y'know, Professor, there was another suspicious group asking about
           the same thing.

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... But I can't imagine Princess Peach getting involved
                   with THEM...

Professor Frankly: All right! It's settled! Off to Petal Meadows you two go! If
                   Princess Peach indeed went there, your first priority must
                   be to catch up to her. Collecting the Crystal Stars is a
                   means to an end...and that end is Princess Peach!

[Frankly gives the Magical Map back to Mario]

Goombella: Aren't you coming, Professor?

Professor Frankly: No, I'll stay in town and ask around about Princess Peach
                   and that suspicious gang. Besides, I doubt a shriveled old
                   Goomba like me could handle the trials of the road. Of
                   course, if anything happens and you need some advice, come
                   see me, OK?

Goombella: You got it, Professor!

Goombella: Well, Mario, we're off!

[As Mario and Goombella leave Frankly's office...]

Professor Frankly: Wait just a moment!

[Frankly heads outside and gives Mario the Power Smash badge]

Professor Frankly: Mario, it's scary out there. Take this with you. It's called
                   a badge, and it is incredibly helpful. You see, depending on
                   the badges you have equipped, you'll get much more powerful.
                   What's important is knowing what the effects will be when
                   you first equip a badge. Would you like to practice
                   equipping and removing badges?

 - Yes, please.
 - No, thanks.

[If "Yes, please." is chosen...]

Professor Frankly: In that case, first press START/PAUSE to access your menu

[The menu screen is brought up]

"Equipping and Removing Badges
 A - Next"

"Let me explain to you how to equip and remove badges.
 A - Next"

"Use *Control Stick symbol* to select Badges.
 *Control Stick symbol* Choose Badges"

["Badges" is chosen]

"Press A to access Badges.
 A - Next"

"Press A again and move the cursor to the badge."
 A - Next"

"Badges require Badge Points (BP). That one needs 1 BP.
 A - Equip Badge"

[The badge is equipped]

"You use 1 BP for this one. Press A again to remove it.
 A - Remove Badge"

[The badge is removed]

"When you remove a badge like that, you regain the BP.
 START/PAUSE - Exit Menu"

Professor Frankly: By the way, you need Flower Points (FP) to use the Power
                   Smash move. In battle, you should watch not only your HP,
                   but FP, too. Did you get all that? Well, here's hoping you
                   find that pipe to Petal Meadows.

[Frankly goes back inside his office. If "No, thanks." is chosen on the earlier

Professor Frankly: Are you absolutely sure? This is the last time I'll ask. Do
                   you want to practice?

[If you refuse him again, the line about FP is said. Mario and Goombella head
 on to the Rogueport Sewers again]


Rogueport Sewers

[If you didn't equip the badge Frankly gave you earlier...]

Goombella: Hey, Mario! What's the deal? You didn't equip the badge Professor
           Frankly gave you. If you don't equip a badge, it won't do anything
           for you. Equip it before you forget!

[Mario and Goombella continue to a nearby airplane panel. Mario uses it to fly
 across to another room, and inside they find a Blooper's tentacle. Mario hits
 it with his hammer]

Blooper: Bloop! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Ouch! That HURT!)

[The Blooper's tentacle goes into the water, then he pops up and a battle

Blooper: Bloobloobloobloop! (Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like
         that?) Blooblooop! BLOOOP! (Somebody with some serious moxie, that's

[He notices Mario]

Blooper: Bloobloop! Bloobloobloop! (Would you look at that! It's some saucy
         mustached guy!) Bloopity bloop! Blooooo! (He's in a WORLD of hurt!)

[Two tentacles come down]

Blooper: BlooblooblooblooblooBLOOP! (I'll give him a taste of the old tentacle

Goombella: Hey, Mario! You remember what Professor Frankly told us, right? You
           can press Y to change our attack order! If your HP drops, you can
           press Y to put me in front!

[After the battle...]


[The Blooper hits the ceiling, and two platforms appear across the water. Mario
 and Goombella use those platforms which lead to a weird pipe. When they go
 through it, they're lead to the Petal Meadows where the first chapter begins]


Chapter 1: Castle and Dragon [CHP1]

Petal Meadows

[Goombella looks around]

Goombella: Well, here we are! The Petal Meadows, where folks say a Crystal Star
           hides. Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This
           is completely awesome!

[They proceed and hear a loud roar. A shadow can be seen above them, as it
 flies northward]

Goombella: Whoa! What was that?

Goombella: Ooh! Is that a... Wow! Mario! Look!!!

[They find a dragon which flies into a castle]

Goombella: Totally incredible... I've never seen anything that humongous
           before. It looked kinda scary, too. Weird... Professor Frankly said
           this place was peaceful. Wow! Crazy! We just started, and already
           there's intrigue! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!

[Mario and Goombella go through more of the meadows. In one area, Goombella
 stops and tells Mario something]

Goombella: Oh! One more thing, Mario! If you ever find yourself, like,
           wondering what to do... Just press X and use my Tattle ability, OK?
           I might be able to look up some useful info that'll help us on our

[The duo keep going, then end up in the town of Petalburg, which is populated
 by Koopa Troopas]



Koopa Troopa: Welcome, travelers!

[Mario responds]

Koopa Troopa: Hm? Where are you, you ask? Why, this is Petalburg! Sorry, but
              it's been a long time since we've had visitors here. We're,kind
              of remote. Yeppity, once that dragon Hooktail was spotted flying
              around this area... Well, it didn't help tourism, put it that
              way. People just stopped visiting.

Goombella: Dragon? Hooktail? That must've been that huge thing we saw earlier,
           Mario! So, it's called Hooktail, huh? Oooooh, scary name! Pffffft!
           So anyway, Green Boots, have you ever heard of these things called
           Crystal Stars? We're on this quest for them. It's very important!

Koopa Troopa: Crystal Stars, you say? Hmmm... Nope, can't say that I have.
              Sorry about that. You might want to speak with the mayor, though.
              He's old... Really, really old. As such, he knows all kinds of
              stuff we don't. Koopas of his age, are...um...really smart.
              Anyway, the mayor lives in that pink house up ahead. You should
              go check it out.

Goombella: A pink house? Sounds totally hideous...but it should be easy to
           find. Thanks for your help!

[They continue through the village and find the mayor's house, then they go
 inside and speak with him]

Mayor Kroop: Hmph? Whuzzat? Someone there? Who isit? WHO?!? What do you want
             from me?

Mayor Kroop: I know! You're thieves! Here to rob a defenseless old Koopa!

[Mario tries to explain the matter]

Mayor Kroop: Go on, do what you will...but as you can plainly see, there's
             nothing to steal here. Oh, I guess I have a little money... Take
             it, you fiends. And my antique shell, too. Just leave the photos
             of me and the missus. Can't do without those memories...

[Mario responds]

Mayor Kroop: What? Not thieves, you say? Well, what's your story, then? Oh,
             wait... You folks looking for Crystal Stars?

[Mario nods]

Mayor Kroop: Well, why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit! We're just wasting
             time, here! The Crystal Stars you say you're hunting... Errrmm...
             Wait... What did I hear about those dang things, again?

Mayor Kroop: Aha! Got it! Hooktail! Hooktail's got what you're looking for!
             It's this enormous, ornery dragon. Eats folks, they say. You know
             Hooktail, right?

 - Of course!
 - I may have heard the name.

[The outcome is the exact same, regardless of the option you choose]

Mayor Kroop: Well, this Hooktail's brutal fly-by snackings have alll of us on
             pins and needles. So, are you reckless fools... I mean... are you
             gallant heroes off to rought it up?

 - You got it!
 - What? Hold on, now!

[The outcome is the exact same, just like for the last two options]

Mayor Kroop: This DOES sound promising! Why, if you can rid us of Hooktail,
             we'll shower you with gratitude and rewards.

Mayor Kroop: Wait, what's that I hear? You'll accept no reward?

 - Of course I won't.
 - I didn't say that!

[Just like last time, the outcome is the same]

Mayor Kroop: What an unselfish man! You're noble, indeed... Yup, a good egg.
             Now... What did you say your name was, again?

[Mario responds]

Mayor Kroop: ...Murphy? Hmm... That's a fine name. Yes, a fine name, indeed.
             Well now, Murphy...

 - It's "Mario".
 - The name is "Mario"!

[Regardless of the choice, the outcome is the same, as usual]

Mayor Kroop: I appreciate that, Murphy! They ARE nice eyebrows. Now, listen up.
             If you're intent on going to Hooktail's castle, find the secret
             pipe near this village. I don't know where it's at, but I know you
             need stone keys to use that pipe. The keys are somewhere in
             Shhwonk Fortress, just past the village. Get them first.

[Mario agrees to do it]

Mayor Kroop: Well then, Murphy... Get going and take care of that Hooktail

[They leave the house to head for Shhwonk Fortress. On the way there, Mario
 gets an e-mail]

"You got an e-mail! As you travel, you may receive e-mail from people you've
 met on your journey. You can read these e-mails on your Mailbox SP. Press
 START/PAUSE to access the menu and check your e-mail. You'll find it under
 Important Things on your Gear screen."

[Mario and Goombella encounter a Koopa Troopa guarding a gate]

Gate Guard: An old stronghold called Shhwonk Fortress lies ahead. A stone
            creature lives there. At least, it MIGHT live there. This gate is
            to keep it out. My job...is guarding the gate. ...But if the mayor
            says it's OK, I'll let you pass. Careful out there, though!

[He opens the gate, and a voice is suddenly heard]

Voice: Umm... Excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment, PLEASE!!!

[The Koopa Troopa walks up to Mario and Goombella]

Koops: Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Umm... How to begin?
       M-My name's...Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle. So,
       anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask.

Koops: ........................................................................

Koops: Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me.
       Good... Good-bye.

[He runs off]

Goombella: OOOOOO-K... That was weird... What do you think THAT was all about?
           Talk about issues!

[They both proceed to the next area, which leads to the Shhwonk Fortress]


Shhwonk Fortress

[As they go through two areas full of tough enemies, they eventually find the
 actual part of the fortress, where they find a Thwomp. They examine it, and it
 comes to life]

Thwomp: Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're the first contestants I've seen in awhile.
        If you've come all the way here to Shhwonk Fortress, you must want
        stone keys. And if THAT'S the case, then you must compete against me.
        If you win, I'll let you through to where the stone keys rest. However,
        if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible", I mean
        awful. Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?

 - I'll take you on!
 - No thanks.

[If "No thanks." is chosen...]

Thwomp: Bah! You utter coward! Begone!

[If "I'll take you on!" is chosen...]

Thwomp: Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're in for it now!

[They all enter a quiz area]

Thwomp: Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the 65th Super Fun
        Quirk Quiz! Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the
        following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll
        suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!

Thwomp: Now...for the first question! What's hidden in this place?

[Mario answers correctly and says that his decision is final]

Thwomp: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! That's...correct! That question was too easy...
        But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!

Thwomp: On to question two! What do one Mr. Softener and one Fire Flower cost
        at the shop in Petalburg? Total!

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! That's...correct! That question was too easy...
        But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!

Thwomp: Moving on! Question three! What is the name of the mayor of Petalburg?

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! That's...correct! That question was too easy...
        But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!

Thwomp: We're not done yet, folks! Question four! Tell me, now! Where is the
        Crystal Star?

[Mario answers correctly and says that his decision is final]

Thwomp: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Right again! Tell me you didn't just get your
        fourth right answer! It can't be true! That's it! I'm making the rest
        of these near impossible! Get ready for brain pain!

Thwomp: Are you ready for the diabolical question five? How can one get from
        Petal Meadows to Rogueport?

[Mario answers correctly and says that his decision is final]

Thwomp: NOOOOO!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! That's.... That's right! You correctly
        answered five questions! I don't believe it! You win!

[They appear back at the fortress]

Thwomp: SO...VERY...AAAAANGRY!!! I can't believe I lost! I guess I have to let
        you through! Stupid rules...

[He moves the pillar he's on, revealing a pipe]

Thwomp: HMPH!

[Mario and Goombella continue through the pipe into some sort of a sewer. Then
 they find the Sun Stone and Moon Stone, the two stone keys. Upon going back to
 the main room, they find a gold Fuzzy]

Gold Fuzzy: Meeeeeeeeeeeork! Hey, you suspicious types! This is our place. And
            coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE! Sorry, suckers! If you want a
            warm welcome, too bad! Now I lunch on your head!

[They battle the Gold Fuzzy, and after it takes a hard hit...]

Gold Fuzzy: Meee-OOOF! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look... But I'm
            not through yet! Everyone! GET 'EM!!!

[He calls a horde of normal Fuzzies, and Mario and Goombella defeat them and
 the Gold Fuzzy. After the battle...]

Gold Fuzzy: Meeeeeeee-uuuuurgh! You got me!

[They all run away. Mario and Goombella continue back through the pipe, and
 they make their way back to the Petal Meadows]


Petal Meadows

[As they walk out to the meadows, they find Koops again]

Koops: Ummm... Excuse me...

Koops: It's... It's Mario, right? Look, I... Ummmm... See, the thing is, I've
       been waiting here in the hope of getting to speak with you. I have to
       ask you something, and you can say no, but I'm going to throw it out

[Koops walks up to Mario]

Koops: Ummmmmm... See... I was wondering... Would you... OH, PLEASE TAKE ME

[Mario is startled]

Koops: Sorry about that. See... My dad... He went off to battle Hooktail long
       ago. ...But he never came back.

Koops: I miss him, of course... I miss him badly. But this isn't just about
       avenging my dad. Well, no... That's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I
       guess. A big part. But the truth is, I want to finish what Dad started.
       For his sake. For everyone's sake.

[Mario responds]

Koops: I... Man, this is embarrasing... See, everyone always says I'm a
       crybaby... A weakling. But if I can defeat Hooktail... Well, I won't be
       those things. I'll be strong, like my dad.

Koops: I know it'll be dangerous, but I still want to go! Please, Mario!

 - Sure, come along!
 - Nope, sorry.

[If "Nope, sorry." is chosen...]

Koops: What? But... But why? Why can't I go?

[If you refuse him again...]

Koops: Well, if that's how you feel... I'm not giving up hope, though. I
       promised myself I wouldn't. Ummm... So, if... If you change your mind,
       Mario, let me know. OK? I'll be over there polishing my shell. Can't
       have an adventure with a dull shell.

[If you agree to let him come with you...]

Koops: For real? No kidding? Yes! Thank you so much! You won't regret this!

"Koops has joined your party!"

"Koops's Abilities: A Primer"

"Press X to shoot out his shell. Use it to retrieve distant items and hit

[Mario shoots Koops's shell]

"If you hold X, you can hold his shell in one place after shooting it!"

[A switch is shown, and Mario shoots Koops's shell and it holds in place]

"After holding his shell in place, release X to fire the shell past Mario and

[The shell is launched and hits the switch]

"You can even hold Koops's shell in place, move Mario, and then release the

[A switch is shown, Mario launches Koops's shell, then he moves and the shell
 gets launched]

"So, remember! Hold X to shoot the shell out and hold it in one place!"

"In battle, Koops can fight by your side, striking foes with his main move: the
 Shell Toss. He can also strike all ground-bound enemies in one attack with his
 Power Shell! To swap your partner in the field, press START/PAUSE and go to
 the Party menu."

[After the introduction...]

Koops: OK, Mario! Let's get going!

[Suddenly, Koops's girlfriend appears]

Koopie Koo: Koops...

[They notice her]

Koops: Oh... Golly... Umm... Hi... Hi, Koopie... Koopie Koo... Did you overhear
       all that?

Koopie Koo: Well, part of it. Koops... I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to
            fight Hooktail... But...you're joking, right? I mean, you're not
            exactly a powerhouse... He'll eat you up!

Koops: I know, Koopie Koo. But I want to be tougher. For you... So I have to do

Koopie Koo: No, Koops, you don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place?
            It's... It's stupid. So what if you're timid? And sort of a
            crybaby. I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you.
            So, don't go...

Koops: Sorry, Koopie Koo... I've made up my mind. No need to worry, though!
       After all, I'm traveling with Mario. He's the man!

Koopie Koo: FINE! IGNORE ME!

[She rolls through the area in her shell]


[She rolls back to Petalburg, angered]

Koops: I'm sorry, Koopie Koo... I swear to you... I will come back to you a
       stronger Koopa!

Koops: Well, Mario, that's that, I guess. No turning back! Hooktail's castle

[Mario nods. They go to the two stones where the stone keys must be placed.
 They place the keys into the stones, and after a short puzzle, they find
 Hooktail's castle and enter it]


Hooktail Castle

[Once they reach the castle, they proceed through a door leading outside to the
 main part of the castle]

Koops: Oh, man... Hooktail Castle... The stories were all true... This place is

[As they navigate the castle full of dead bones, Koops finds one that is blue;
 a different color from the others]

Koops: Oh... OH, NOOOOO!

[They walk up to the bones]

Koops: These bones... They remind me of my father... There's... There's no
       doubt about it! It's my father! *crying* DAAAAAAAD!!!

[He notices something on the bones]

Koops: Ummm... Wait, what's this? Mario! My father's clutching some kind of
       letter. Or at least, his...ugh...bones are.

Koops: So... What should I do? Should I read it?

 - Yeah, read it.
 - Don't read it.

[If "Don't read it." is chosen..]

Koops: Oh... Yeah, you're right. You shouldn't read someone else's letter, even
       your dad's. We'd better leave it.

[If "Yeah, read it." is chosen...]

Koops: Umm...OK. I can do this. I... I'll read it.

Koops: Ahem...

"I came to this castle to destroy Hooktail, but I am stuck and can go no
 further. So, in this letter, I shall note Hooktail's weaknesses for those who
 follow. The dread Hooktail cannot tolerate creatures that begin with 'cr' and
 end with 'icket'. Hidden somewhere in this castle is an item related to
 Hooktail's weakness. If one is to have any hope of defeating Hooktail, one
 must first find that item. One last thing: if faced with ultimate doom, the
 fiend will use any trick to save itself. If you hope to defeat it, do not give
 in to your kinder nature and fall for its tricks. Alas, I do not have the
 strength to continue writing... Already, mist veils my eyes... My last words
 go to my son, Kolorado: I love you, and I'm proud of who you've become."

Koops: Huh? "My son, KOLORADO"? Not "Koops"???

Koops: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooops... Ummm... Yeah. I guess this isn't my
       father, after all.

Koops: But if this isn't my father... I wonder if that pile of bones over
       THERE is my dad...

[Mario and Koops examine a red pile of bones by a door at the end of the room]

Red Bones: Blaarf harf harf HARF! You clearly don't value your lives much if
           you've come to this castle to disturb us. You will go no farther,
           and from this moment on... You'll be nothing but bones!

[Many bones enter the room; they're alive]

Koops: Ummm... What're they doing? Ouch! It's no use, Mario! They're all over
       me, man! What should we do?

[They make their way to the red bones and begin battling it, along with other
 Dull Bones accompanying it. They win the battle and continue through the big
 castle. Eventually they encounter a black chest]

Black Chest: What the heck?

[It wiggles]

Black Chest: Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL
             long time!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: ...Huh? You heard me? Wow! Wait a sec'... If you can hear my
             voice, you must be some legendary hero or something...

[Mario nods]

Black Chest: Or not! To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears can hear me.
             ...But it sure is fun zinging people with that whole "legendary
             hero" bit!

[Mario is surprised]

Black Chest: Hey, but seriously, folks, I was wondering if you could let me out
             of this chest... I've been locked in here so long, I'm starting to
             cramp up like you wouldn't believe. All you have to do is find the
             key and let me out. Easy!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: Huh? What do you mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the
             box? Ridiculous! Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and
             curse folks! A real slimeball, that's who! But I'm no real
             slimeball, and I would do no such thing! But that should be

[Mario thinks about what he should do]

Black Chest: Look, if you help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, a
             little I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine! Except in reverse
             order. Of course, you don't have to if you really don't want to.
             Like finding a key is hard...

[Mario and Koops continue to the next room, where a chest is located in the
 center. It contains a Black Key. Upon getting the key, a trap is set, and
 spikes appear up all over the ground]

Koops: Ummm... M-Mario... L-Look at that!

[The ceiling is shown, which is a ceiling of spikes that's coming down]

Koops: Oh, I don't like the look of this... Come on! Run!

[They make their way out of the maze within fifty seconds, and go back to the
 previous room]

Koops: Man... That was TOO close! Gotta shake it off... Hoo. OK. We got the
       key, so let's go open that spooky chest.

[Mario nods. He talks to the chest]

Black Chest: Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad you found that key! Unbelievable!

[Mario unlocks the chest using the Black Key]


[The chest opens up, revealing a monster]

Monster: Why, only the most idiotic, pudding-brained dolt would fall for a
         scheme like that! The castle's traps prevent anyone who's entered this
         place from ever leaving it! No matter which path you take, you're
         fated to waste away to a slow, painful end! But wait! There's more to
         this great deal! I'll throw in a free CURSE! No charge!

[Mario gets cursed]

Monster: Wheee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, doofus! And it serves you
         right! This curse is more cursedly curse-worthy than any curse that's
         ever cursed you! For...this curse makes you like a piece of paper when
         you press and hold R! Wheee hee hee hee hee! What a curse! Who curses
         like me? NO ONE! Now I shall show you just how frightful a curse it
         is! Go on! Press and hold R! Press and hold R now!!!

[Mario turns into a thin piece of paper]

Monster: Wheee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for
         you! Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! ...Do you understand what this
         curse means for you?

 - No
 - Yes

[If "No" is chosen...]

Monster: You idiot! Press and hold R! Press and hold R and be ashamed!

[If "Yes" is chosen...]

Monster: Then farewell, you dumbbells! Wheee hee hee hee hee!

[The monster disappears, and Mario and Koops continue navigating through the
 castle with the help of Mario's new ability. They eventually find a strange
 rat woman in a room with some treasure]

Ms. Mowz: Huh? Oh, my! Who's this handsome piece of cheese? I can't believe
          there are other thieves here besides me. How very strange...

Koops: H-Hey! Who are you?

Ms. Mowz: Me? Why, I'm Ms. Mowz, the globe-trotting thief! Heard of me,
          sweetie? I heard there were rare and valuable badges here in this
          castle. That's why I'm here. But the real question is...why are
          people like YOU roaming in such a run-down place?

Koops: Umm, well, you see... We're here to beat Hooktail and get the...um...
       Crystal Star. So...don't think we'll let you get the Crystal Star first,
       no matter how cute you are!

Ms. Mowz: ...Crystal Star, you say? Mmmm hmm hmm! I didn't know a thing like
          THAT was hidden in this castle... Sounds intriguing! Perhaps I just
          heard something you didn't want me hearing? Mmm hmm hmm hmm!

Koops: Darn!

Ms. Mowz: Oh, but that's OK... I mean, you were looking for this Crystal Star
          first... And I already found the badge I was after, so I'll let you
          get your Crystal Star.

[She walks up to Mario]

Koops: Ummm... Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

[She kisses Mario]

Ms. Mowz: Mmmm hmmm hmm hmm! It means I must say bye-bye for now, Mr. Cutie. I
          know. It's sad. We just met, and already it is time to say farewell.

[She jumps on an open window]

Koops: Oh, my! You're so...bold... Is that legal?

Ms. Mowz: Oh, I almost forgot... I have a little secret to share with you.
          Somewhere in this castle is a badge that'll help you best Hooktail,
          or so I've heard. I don't know what kind of badge it is. Maybe you
          found it already, maybe not. If you're going to fight Hooktail, I'd
          recommend finding that badge first. Well, take care, handsome
          mustache man! Let's get together again real soon!

[She leaves]

Koops: I wonder what her story is... I bet it's an interesting one... Full of

[As they continue through the castle, they end up near the top outside. They
 run up to the top while taking care of some enemies, then they go through a
 door which leads to Hooktail's lair]

Hooktail: Who dares approach me?

[They notice Hooktail]

Hooktail: Hmm.. So... You are friends of the strange-garbed one who came
          earlier? I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I
          protect... Such rashness...

Hooktail: That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?

Hooktail: But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might
          make a good snack. And the bottoms of your feet smell like they might
          make a good sauce with some spices. What I'll do is saute you to
          crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!

[A battle now commences]

Hooktail: Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I
          taste first?

[Once Mario hits him with his hammer, which has a cricket noise attached to it,
 Hooktail starts feeling sick]

Hooktail: Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! How did you
          know? Stop that this instant! Urp... I got reallly bad...ugh...food
          poisoning once when I ate a cricket. I HATE them! Oh... Fight it,
          Hooky... Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy!

[After being hit with the hammer again...]

Hooktail: Ooooog... Must...not...gag... My poor tummy... Uuuuurp... So very

[After taking a few more hits...]

Hooktail: W-Wait! Hold up a moment!

Hooktail: I give up! Please! I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm
          sorry! For everything! Er... Yeah... To prove it, I'll give you 1,000
          coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?

 - For 1,000 coins? Sure!
 - Keep your coins, fiend!

[When "Keep your coins, fiend!" is chosen...]

Hooktail: What? You must be joking! You don't need any coins? Then how about
          the lovely, rare-extra special badge I have? I'll give you that. It's
          one of a kind! And it's yours for a limited time only! Will you take

 - A rare badge? Sure!
 - Keep it, you cad!

[When "Keep it, you cad!" is chosen...]

Hooktail: Errrr... Really?!? Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you
          smell the bottoms of my feet. People pay good money to do this. I'm
          being completely honest right now. Really. So? Care to take a whiff
          of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?

 - Maybe just a quick sniff...
 - That's disgusting!

[When "That's disgusting!" is chosen...]

Hooktail: Hrrrrrrrrmmmm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you? It's
          important to be able to trust someone, you know. Err... I guess I'd

[Hooktail eats half of the audience, scaring the rest of them off, and also
 regaining the health he lost]

Koops: That's just not right!

Hooktail: Ohhh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!

Koops: I've had enough of this! Let's finish this guy off fast, Mario!

[Mario hits Hooktail with the hammer again]

Hooktail: Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear

[After a few more hits, Hooktail is taken down]

Hooktail: B-But... I... I... GURK! How? Why? There's still so much I wanted to
          do with my life... So many meals...

[Hooktail falls over, losing the battle]

Koops: Wow! We actually pulled it off, Mario!

[Koops looks around for the Crystal Star]

Koops: Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you're looking
       for, Mario.

[Mario nods]

Hooktail: Ooooo... Oooooooooooooo...

[Hooktail spits up a shell, which happens to be Koops's dad]

Koops's Dad: YAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!

Koops: WHOA! It... It can't be!

Koops's Dad: Eh?

Koops: Da... DAD?!?

[He runs over to him]

Koops's Dad: Hey! You're... You're Koops! Hey, Son! You've gotten so big since
             I saw you last!

Koops: Well, yeah, I guess I have... But who cares, Dad? I mean, golly! What
       happened to you? Where've you been all this time?

Koops's Dad: Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was
             well and good... But just before my finishing blow, he played a
             trick on me and gobbled me down whole. I've been hiding in my
             shell for the ten years since then... Inside Hooktail's belly! And
             boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha
             ha ha ha!

Koops: Honestly, Dad... Don't you know how worried about you we all were? For
       ten long years we all thought you'd...you know! We thought your game was

Koops's Dad: Oh, sorry, Son, but... I'm OK! That's good, right? We're together
             now, right? Hey, speaking of which... What are you doing here,

Koops: Oh, come on, Dad... I came here to defeat Hooktail, who's been wreaking
       havoc in town. And Mr. Mario here is looking for a gem called the
       Crystal Star.

Koops's Dad: ...Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would

[He holds out a Crystal Star and drops it]

Koops: What's THAT?

Koops's Dad: I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as
             a souvenir. So...this is the thing you're looking for? Perfect!
             Just perfect! You can have it!

[Mario responds]

Koops's Dad: Come now! I won't take no for an answer. You're Koops's friend.
             Please take it!

[Mario nods, then takes the first Crystal Star]

"You got a Crystal Star! And you learned the special move Earth Tremor!"

"Mario and friends finally got a Crystal Star in the castle after defeating
 Hooktail. Koops even reunited with his long-lost father, whom he thought was
 dead. Yet they were unable to learn anything about the whereabouts of the
 princess. Where could Princess Peach be? Yes... Mario's adventure has only
 just begun."


Peach's Event #1 [PCH1]

[A screen is shown where two X-Nauts take Princess Peach to where Lord Crump
 is, along with the leader of the X-Nauts]

X-Naut #1: O great, exalted Grodus! We brought the Princess Peach you ordered,

[The screen that was watching Peach shuts off]

Grodus: Well, well, well, my pet... Isn't it about time you told us where the
        map is?

[Grodus is shown in full view]

Grodus: Princess Peach. You will speak when spoken to.

Princess Peach: I'm telling you, I don't know.

Grodus: There's no point in trying to hide it, silly girl. We know you had it.
        We KNOW this. Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be
        absolutely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and
        lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty.

Princess Peach: ...

[An X-Naut appears on a screen]

X-Naut #2: Grodus, sir! I have news.

Grodus: Report at once.

X-Naut #2: You know that Crystal Star we thought maybe Hooktail had? Well,
           someone nabbed it.

Grodus: What? WHAT did you say? Someone else is after the Crystal Stars? And he
        defeated that Hooktail creature, you say? SPEAK, soldier!

X-Naut #2: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. There's more, too. See, according to the

X-Naut #2: ...it was a mustached dude in a red hat and blue overalls who pulled
           the job.

Princess Peach: Mario!

Grodus: Excuse me? Mario?

Princess Peach: Oh no!

Grodus: Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see... So you know of this Mario, do you?
        Hmmm... This fool matters not at all. I'll know all about him before
        long, that I promise. I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back
        to the holding room.

X-Naut #3: Yessir!

Grodus: And men! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be

X-Naut #3: You got it, sir!

[The X-Nauts take her back to her room, and the other X-Naut on the screen

Grodus: Well, Lord Crump...

Grodus: If this Mario character has the map...

Grodus: ...then it's highly likely he'll find the Crystal Star we're hunting in
        the Boggly Woods. You must return there immediately and hasten the
        excavation. It must not fail.

Lord Crump: Whuzzat?!? Oh, yeah, sure! Roger, Grodus! And with that... Pow! I'm

[Crump leaves]

Grodus: I wonder if sending Lord Crump there alone is wise... He is a bit...out
        there. Hmmm...

Grodus: X-Naut! I summon you!

[An X-Naut walks up to Grodus]

X-Naut #4: You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, sir, Grodus, dude? Grodus?
           Sir Grodus, sir?

Grodus: Shut up. Go get the Shadow Sirens over here.

X-Naut #4: The Sh-Shadow Sirens, sir? But they...

Grodus: I don't care how you planned to end that sentence, fool. Go get them.

X-Naut #4: Gotcha!

[The X-Naut walks off]

Voice: The honorable Grodus has need of us? Then we arrive without delay.

[The three Shadow Sirens appear]

Beldam: Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Pray tell, did the princess tell you where
        the map is?

Grodus: Still your tongue, Beldam. We would already have it if you'd snatched
        her earlier... But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fool
        named Mario has the map.

Beldam: It wasn't my fault, truly! There were too many prying eyes there. Too
        many... Besides, a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth,
        and we had to retreat. Why worry? All we need to do now is find this
        Mario and steal the map, yesss?

Grodus: Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Must I remind you? That map is vital to the
        X-Naut plan. I will have my men prepare all available information on
        this Mario. For now, hear me, Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care
        of this troublemaker!

Beldam: Mmmmwee hee hee hee... Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with
        what you seek.

Beldam: Let's go, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian! Come! We've got a job to do!

[Beldam leaves]

Marilyn: Guhhhhh...

[Marilyn leaves]

Vivian: Mmm hm hm hm hm...

[Vivian leaves, and the computer screen is shown, showing several parts of the
 fortress along with Peach's room. Back at her room...]

Princess Peach: Oh, dear... Here we go again... I can't believe I'm kidnapped
                again. Mario and Toadsworth must be worried sick. Again.

Princess Peach: But...hang on a moment! Where in the world am I, anyway? It's
                so unfamiliar... I wish I could at least let Mario and
                Toadsworth know that I've been caught...

[Peach explores the area a bit and finds a shower]

Princess Peach: What a lovely shower! No soap scum, even! Wow. I wonder if it

[She gets in the shower]

Princess Peach: Ahhhhhh! Hee hee!

[After the shower...]

Princess Peach: How refreshing! I feel like a new princess!

[She goes back to her room, only to notice a door open automatically]

Princess Peach: Hmm? What was that? Hey! How odd... The doors opened by

[She goes through the door leading to a hallway, then it closes]

Princess Peach: Weird... It doesn't look like...anyone's around.

[As she heads to the next door, it opens automatically as well]

Princess Peach: How do I keep making these doors open? How odd...

[She enters the door, and inside is a computer. The lights turn on and the
 computer activates]

Computer: Hello, Princess Peach.

Princess Peach: Huh? What? Who said that? Where are you?

Computer: How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes. I am this
          laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. You
          may. Sir Grodus created me to be a perfect computer, one that is
          flawless in its reason.

Princess Peach: Grodus... Wait, he's that awful dome-headed thing who
                interrogated me, right?

TEC: Sir Grodus is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous.

Princess Peach: Well, I don't think so. But I doubt I'll change your mind...
                So, I'm wondering... Why did you lead me in here?

TEC: I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occured when I observed you
     earlier. My higher-brain circuity malfunctioned and nearly overheated at
     your image. Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors.
     Those events are new to me.

TEC: There is more to this phenomenon, as well. I ran diagnostic programs...
     ...and their solution was... I want to know more about you. I want to
     observe you. Such a compulsion has no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the
     perfect computer... I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not
     fail. That is why I led you here.

Princess Peach: Wait... Did you just say... You want to observe me? ...To know
                more about me?

[She is surprised]

Princess Peach: Could it be that you... No! Impossible! It can't be. You're a

TEC: What has happened to me? If you know my malfunction, you must tell me of

Princess Peach: Oh, I couldn't, really... Because... *silently* ...It's just
                too weird.

TEC: Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect.
     There should not be anything that I do not understand. Please.

Princess Peach: Well, you know, maybe... Is it possible that, well...you're...
                in love... *silently* ...with me?

TEC: "Love"? What is..."love"? I cannot compute this.

Princess Peach: Wait, you don't know what love is? Love... How do I explain?
                Love tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It
                makes you feel happy just to see that person happy, smiling...
                having fun. When you love someone, you will do anything to help
                when he or she is in trouble.

TEC: Happiness? Fun...? I have definitions for these words, but... My
     programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend.
     I am a perfect computer.

Princess Peach: "Comprehend" love? Love's not something you comprehend, TEC.
                You feel it.

TEC: ........................................

TEC: Princess Peach... Will you teach me to feel this thing you call "love"?

Princess Peach: What? You're a computer! Why would you care about love?

TEC: I am perfect. There must be nothing that I cannot comprehend. Nothing.
     That is why you must help me understand this thing called "love". Please.
     If you have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant
     them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you

Princess Peach: What, are you insane? You X-Jerks kidnapped me like common
                Koopas! And now you call me in here and ask me to teach you the
                meaning of love? I should spit on your screen! You'll grant my
                wishes? Ha! Why should I believe you?

TEC: I understand you are angry. That I emotion I comprehend. You need not
     teach me now. But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no
     alternative. I must be a perfect computer. That is why, if you would just
     consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes. Do you understand me,
     Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish.

Princess Peach: Are you sure? Well, OK... Here goes... Can I contact someone?
                The sooner, the better...

TEC: Yes, of course you may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail to
     anywhere you want. If you so wish, you can use it right now. It is no
     trouble. Use the keyboard in front of you. Enter the recipient, address,
     and message.

[Peach walks up to TEC's keyboard]

Princess Peach: You mean this keyboard? All right... Let me give this a shot.

[Peach types a message to Mario]

Princess Peach: OK, it's ready, TEC. Could you send it?

[TEC sends the message]

TEC: The message has been sent. For the time being, you may return to your
     room. I will call you in again when I want to ask you something.

[Peach walks to the door]

Princess Peach: Uh... OK then. Good night.

[She leaves]

TEC: Good night, Princess Peach.


Bowser's Event #1 [BWS1]

[Bowser's castle is shown, along with his many troops. Bowser himself arrives
 in the castle]

Bowser: Gra har har har!

Bowser: Bowser, the might Koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions!
        But now that I'm here... Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon

[His troops close the door]

Trooper #1: Uh, Great Lord Bowser... The, uh, crusty hag Kammy Koopa will
            arrive momentarily. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but
            please wait at the rear of the room.

[Bowser walks to the end of the room, then Kammy Koopa arrives]

Kammy Koopa: Ah! Lord Bowser!

[She walks up to Bowser]

Kammy Koopa: I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, my

Bowser: I bet you are, Kammy Kooopa! Now, out with it! Why have you called me

Kammy Koopa: Please, Your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor
             servant. Ahem... It's my displeasure to report that Mario, that
             scum, is off to a town called Rogueport.

Bowser: Pbbbthbtth! Am I Mario's baby-sitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are
        you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what?

Kammy Koopa: Yes, well, you see, my lord... Apparently Mario is hunting for an
             amazing treasure.

Bowser: Tuh-Treasure?!?

Kammy Koopa: Yes, Mario has gone in search of star-shaped jewels known as the
             Crystal Stars. I'm researching just what they are...but there's no
             question of their high value.

Bowser: The Crystal Stars, you say? They sound like good world-conquering
        tools! I want 'em! Hmm... Yes... Very good... Continue researching this
        for me, you brainy hag, you.

Kammy Koopa: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Leave it to me. By the way, Lord
             Bowser... Do you like fried eggs?

 - You bet I do!
 - Bleargh! I HATE them!

[If "You bet I do!" is chosen...]

Bowser: Do I...

Bowser: I LOVE fried eggs! LOVE 'em! But...what a weird question. Why do you

[If "Bleargh! I HATE them!" is chosen...]

Bowser: Gag... Ugh! I almost threw up just now! I can't stand fried eggs!
        But...why do you ask?

[Regardless of the choice you made, the lines below will always commence]

Kammy Koopa: Well, during my Mario recon, I stopped in a lovely place called
             Petal Meadows. I was planning on taking everyone there for a
             picnic, having some eggs and toast... Of course, I wouldn't think
             of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord Bowser!

Bowser: AIRHEAD!!!

Bowser: A picnic?!? You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my
        evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off!

Bowser: AAARGH!

[Bowser stomps the ground in anger]

Kammy Koopa: Oh, dear... Lord Bowser... Please calm down... Remember your blood

[A Magikoopa arrives]

Kammy Koopa: Hm? What's that?

[The Magikoopa whispers to Kammy]

Kammy Koopa: Whaaaaat??? Is this TRUE?!?

Kammy Koopa: Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted Princess Peach
             in Rogueport!

Bowser: HUHHH-WWWHHHAAATTT?!? Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE?
        Who'd do such a thing? Besides me?

Kammy Koopa: I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet... The
             investigation's ongoing. One thing is most certainly confirmed,
             however: the princess has been kidnapped.

Bowser: Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY
        say-so!!! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've
        gotta kidnap her back!

[Bowser walks off and enters his Koopa Copter. Then, he busts out of the walls
 of the castle. Kammy gets on her broom]

Kammy Koopa: But... Your Grunginess! Wait up!

[Kammy follows Bowser]


Before Chapter Two [BFC2]


Koops's Dad: Koops, my lad... Are you telling me that you're going with Mario?

Koops: Umm... That's right, Dad... I'm going to continue traveling with Mario.
       And then I'm... Well... I'm going to come back a strong Koopa like you,

Koops's Dad: Nicely said, young Koops! THAT'S my boy! But always remember this:
             you are my son, Koops...and I am your father!

Koopie Koo: Koops, my sweet... I'll be right here waiting...for you to prove

Mayor Kroop: Ahem... May I just add... If anything happens, you can always come
             home, Koops. Don't you ever forget that. This village will always
             be your home.

Koops: OK! Thank you, everyone. Well, I'm off!

[He walks up to Mario]

Koops: Sorry to keep you waiting, Mario. You know...farewells. So, where are we

[Goombella walks up]

Goombella: Let's head back to Rogueport.

Goombella: Remember, Mario? "The bearer of the Magical Map shall unfurl it
           before the Thousand-Year Door. When this is done, the stars shall
           guide the bearer to the Crystal Star with pure light." And it didn't
           stop there... "Each Crystal Star shall point to the next..." That's
           what the books say. Which means...if we take the Crystal Star we
           found back to the Thousand-Year Door...

Koops: So...that means the location of the next Crystal Star will appear on
       that magic map?

Goombella: Exactly! C'mon! Let's go!!

[They continue out to the Petal Meadows]


Petal Meadows

[As they go through the meadows, Mario suddenly hears some music coming from
 his pockets]

Koops: Something wrong, Mario? You're...um...shaking. Are you feeling alright?

[Mario opens his Mailbox SP]

Koops: That's a new Mailbox SP, isn't it? Wow, neat! Did you get some mail?

"My Dearest Mario, I send this letter in the hope that it reaches you safely.
 I am being held against my will in some strange place. Though I do not know
 where I am, I remain unharmed and in relative comfort. Those who have captured
 me seem to be after the map I sent to you earlier. They may be hoping to use
 it to find objects they call the "Crystal Stars". I do not know what they are
 planning, but I have a feeling it isn't anything positive. Mario, please
 collect these Crystal Stars before they do. You must! They are already aware
 that you have the map, so please be very careful. And please... Don't worry
 about me."

          -Princess Peach-

Koops: Wow... You got mail from a princess. That's so cool! So, anyway, she's
       unhurt! That's good, at least...

[Mario nods]

Koops: But I didn't like the sound of those kidnappers looking for the Crystal
       Stars as well...

[Mario and the group continue to the Rogueport Sewers, then they go to the room
 where the Thousand-Year Door is]


Rogueport Sewers

[At the Thousand-Year Door room, Mario steps on the pedestal in front of the

Koops: Umm... All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!

[Mario holds up the Crystal Star. The diagram on the floor reveals itself with
 one Crystal Star above it. Then, the location of the next Crystal Star gets
 recorded on the Magical Map]

"The location of a Crystal Star has been recorded on your Magical Map!"

[Mario and Koops read the map]

Koops: Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map.
       But... I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue where that is.

[Mario responds]

Koops: Um... I think maybe we should take it to Professor Frankly and let him
       look at it.

[They go back to Rogueport, at Frankly's office]



[At Frankly's office...]

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... Mmmm HRRRRMMMM...

[He closes a book]

Professor Frankly: I see, I see. Crystal clear!

Koops: Um... So, can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?

Professor Frankly: It's in the Boggly Woods. The second Crystal Star is inside
                   a great tree there.

Koops: A great tree in the Boggly Woods, huh?

Professor Frankly: About those woods... I think...some odd creatures live
                   there. *picture* If memory serves, there's a pipe beneath
                   town that leads to those woods.

Koops: Um... Professor Frankly... You should probably know... It's about
       Princess Peach... Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently. Her
       Highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal
       Stars. Oh, and she said she doesn't even know where she's being held.

Professor Frankly: Uh-oh. If Princess Peach's kidnappers are also looking for
                   the Crystal Stars... What could they hope to achieve? Could
                   the treasure be... Ugh! Too many unknowns! Unfortunately,
                   the only clues we can rely on are the Crystal Stars and that

[Mario nods]

Koops: Um... I guess all we can do is head to Boggly Woods to find that next
       Crystal Star!

Professor Frankly: Yes, I recommend you do just that. And find it before the
                   princess's captors do! But don't be hasty! If you're low on
                   items or health, drop by the shop and inn first. I'll keep
                   researching to learn more about the Crystal Stars and the
                   ancient treasure.

[Mario and the others go back to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

[They go to the bottom room of the sewers, where they find a strange creature.
 It's the same one Mario and Goombella saw awhile back. It retreats]

Koops: Hey! Mario! You see that? That was one of the the things Professor
       Frankly mentioned!

[Mario nods. They continue into the same area the creature went into, and then
 it runs away again. They follow it to a dead end]

Creature: Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! D-Don't eat me!!!

[Mario responds]

Creature: Huh? Uh... You didn't come to eat me?

[Mario responds]

Creature: And you're not bullies?

 - Of course not!
 - Guess again, nerd!

[If "Of course not!" is chosen, the normal dialogue continues]

[If "Guess again, nerd!" is chosen...]

Creature: Noooooooooo! Leave me alone, you big meanies!

Koops: Um... Mario, that was uncool. Don't say stuff like that. I thought you

Koops: *to the creature* Relax, relax, little guy. We're not bullies, I swear.

[Regardless of the choice you made, the below lines are said either way]

Creature: For real? Phew! Boy, that's good. I thought for a second I might have
          an accident.

Koops: Um... Aren't you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you
       down here?

Creature: Wh-What?!? Why do you know about me? NOOO! Y-You must be... You guys
          are working for those X-Nauts, aren't you?!? You chased me here!
          Noooooo! It's the end!!!

Koops: X-Nauts? What the heck are those? Sounds like tissues...to the extreme
       or something. Look, we're not here to do ANYTHING to you, so relax. Tell
       us what's going on, OK?

Creature: Well...OK. This gang of bad guys who call themselves X-Nauts came to
          where I live. They came inside our Great Tree and started tearing it
          apart and causing trouble. So...I've come all the way here looking
          for help.

Koops: A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree? If those are the same guys who
       kidnapped the princess, they want the Crystal Star!

Creature: Now that you mention it, they did say something about some Crystal
          Star thingy... But we Punies don't know anything about any crystals
          or stars...

Creature: Say, could you guys help us out? Maybe chase them off? If you do,
          we'll give you, uh... What was it? The Crystal Star? If you do, we'll
          have the Puni elder give you that! I don't know what it is, but if
          it'll help us reclaim our tree, I'm sure the elder will agree! So
          what do you say? Let's not waste any more time. I'm begging you!

[Mario nods]

Creature: Really?!? You aren't joking?!? You'll do it?!?

[Mario responds]

Koops: Um... I guess we should... I'd feel pretty bad if we didn't do anything.
       Plus, we do need to get the Crystal Stars before those X-guys do.

Creature: Oh, thank you so much! This is great! I'm so happy! My name is Punio.
          Pleased to meet you! I'll take you to where I live. Follow me, OK?

[He runs over to a crack in the wall]

Punio: It's this way.

[Mario and Koops run over to him and speak with him]

Punio: Wait, hang on a second.

[Punio runs through the crack]

Punio: I'm sure the Puni elder said some button around here opened the secret
       entrance... AH-HA!

[He activates a switch that allows Mario and Koops to pass to where the Boggly
 Woods are located. They go through the path leading to a room with a pipe]

Punio: You can get to the woods we Punies live in by going through that pipe
       there. OK! Hurry! Hurry!

[The three go into the pipe leading to the Boggly Woods, where the next
 chapter begins]


Chapter 2: The Great Boggly Tree [CHP2]

Boggly Woods

Koops: So, the Boggly Woods, huh? Looks mysterious, all right. What'll we run
       into next?

[Punio gets off the pipe]

Punio: Um, OK, just a bit further and we should be able to see the Great Tree.
       The elder and her friends are waiting for us there... Oh, and my little
       sister, too! Come on, let's go!

[They proceed to the next area, only to find the Shadow Sirens]

Beldam: Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies! Vivian! You
        understand what we've got to do, yesss?

Vivian: Mm-hmm! A) Find that Mario guy and B) steal the map to the Crystal
        Stars, right? We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we?
        Or is that bad?

Beldam: Oh, bad things happen all the time, Vivian. But you're right about our
        goals. If my information is correct, Mario should be coming down this
        road quite soon. You must ambush him here and get that map!

Beldam: Hmmmm? What's this, now? Vivian! What's that you're flawning over

[Vivian takes out a necklace]

Vivian: Oh! What, you mean this? I found it near that tree over there a while
        back. Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely... I just HAD to
        pick it up!

Beldam: Hmph! Vivian! For shame! Picking up someone's scraps? Disgusting!
        Greedy! But enough about that! Vivian, my dear pack rat... Bring out
        the sketch of that Mario guy that you got from Grodus! Mmmmmwee hee

Vivian: Eeep! Wh-What? I... I don't have that! You said it was way too
        important, so you took it. You should have it...

Beldam: Don't be ridiculous! I don't have that thing. You were in charge of it!
        You wretched little worm! Blaming me for something you probably screwed

Vivian: *upset* But, I...

[Marilyn notices Mario]

Marilyn: *to Beldam* Guh! Guh!

Beldam: Oh, what IS it, Marilyn? ...Huh? What's that? A mustachioed fellow?
        This is no time for such nonsense, you great oaf! Save your games for

Beldam: Now, now, where was I? You! Vivian! Don't tell me you lost our precious

Vivian: But... Listen... I... Look, it's not my fault... I never had the

Beldam: SILENCE, YOU DITZ! Such impudence! How dare you talk back to me like
        some rebellious child?!? It's clear to me that the only rationale your
        type understands is force...

[Beldam takes Vivian's necklace]

Beldam: For your punishment, I'll be taking that necklace you just found. Yes,
        so sorry.

Vivian: *nearly crying* But... But, Beldam... Oh, you're horrid!

[Mario and the others proceed through the woods, being completely ignored by
 the Shadow Sirens. They soon come to a pipe]

Punio: There! Can you see it? That big tree...

[A tree is shown in the background]

Punio: That's what I was telling you about. That's where we Punies live. That's
       home. Uh, of course, it's not just us in the tree. Lot's of Jabbies and
       Piders, too. Well, anyway, Mario... Follow me!

[Mario and the group follow Punio to the Great Tree]


The Great Tree

[Mario talks to Punio]

Punio: ...Uh...

Koops: Oh, no... What's the matter?

Punio: Uh, well... Take a look! This door wasn't here before! Someone just
       installed it! And...I can't open it. I thought I could finally save
       everyone... I'm a fool.

Koops: Hey, don't take it so hard... It does look sturdy, though. What do we do

Punio: ...................Uh...................

Punio: ...................Um...................

Punio: GOT IT!

[Punio walks off to another side of the tree, and Mario follows him]

Punio: Long ago, the Puni elder told me about a secret entrance somewhere
       around here. We can get in through there! I'm completely sure of it! Uh,
       problem is... I doubt finding it is going to be easy. I mean, it won't
       be labeled "Secret Entrance"! What should we do?

Koops: Not to be a worrywart, but how in the heck can we find somebody's secret

Punio: Well, it's hidden by this invisible...thingy. We need to find and remove
       the thingy. Boy, but removing a normal thingy sounds tough enough, let
       alone an invisible one! Uh...

Punio: Oh! Got it! Flurrie! Surely Madame Flurrie's powers can help us!

Punio: Flurrie is a refined and dignified lady who lives in these woods. The
       elder says she's a wind spirit who can wield the powers of air with
       ease. You see where I'm going with this? She can use wind power to blow
       the thingy away! Well, it won't hurt to try. Flurrie lives in the
       deepest corner of the woods, so... Let's head back in the direction we
       came from.

[The three head back to the previous area]


Boggly Woods

[A house is shown at another area of the woods]

Voice: Ahhh! These woods are the most wonderful in all the world. Yes, indeed!
       Building a house here was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my,

[Inside the house...]

Voice: This place is so different from the bright flashbulbs of the world I'm
       used to... Such peace... This negative image of the real world soothes
       my body and soul. But what's even better... Is that I, Madame Flurrie,
       grow ever more lovely here! Plus, those squishy, adorable little Punies
       that live in that tree are SO nice to me!

Flurrie: But...I suppose if I stay here too long, I'll begin to crave and
         hustle before long! Oh! Oh, my! It's happening even as I speak!
         Already I feel the need for drama! That moment of exhilaration when
         the spotlight shines down on the stage...on me! Surely I was born to
         be...an actress for the ages!

[Inside Flurrie's room...]

Flurrie: It's settled, then. I shall rise again! But...before I make my stage
         comeback... I simply must whip my body and mind into shape. I'll just
         have to put on some makeup and make my beauty even more beautiful.
         Wait a moment...

Flurrie: Noooooooooooooooo! It's gone! Gone I tell you! My... My...

[The scene switches back to Mario and the others. After they go through the

Punio: If we head straight in this direction, we'll see Flurrie's place in no

[They make their way to the area where Flurrie's house is. Then...]

Punio: Look! There, in the distance! That's what I was telling you about.
       Flurrie's place.

[The three make their way into Flurrie's house. Inside...]

Punio: ...Uh... Excuse me!

Punio: Ummm... Maybe she isn't here. I wonder if she went for a walk in the

[They walk up to the door leading to Flurrie's room]

Punio: Madame Flurrie! Hellooooo? If you're here, say something!

[Upon trying to enter Flurrie's room...]

Flurrie: Eeeeek! No! Out of the question! You mustn't come in here!

Punio: Uh...Madame Flurrie? Are you there? Is that you? ...What are you doing?

Flurrie: Oh! Wait a moment... Those darling, squishy little footsteps... Is
         that you, Punio? Oh, it's been an AGE since I saw you last! You poor
         dear! Is there something you need?

Punio: Uh, well, the thing is... We have a problem that only you can help us
       with, ma'am. The Great Tree's entry hole is blocked. There's this stupid
       door we can't seem to open. My Puni friends are inside, so they're in a
       pickel, and Mario needs these Crystal Stars... It's a train wreck,
       really. If you can't find the secret entrance for us, we're done.

Flurrie: Oh... Is that all, dearie? You came all the way here just for that? My
         adorable little Punio... You know I would do anything in my power to
         help you. However, lamentably... I'm in a bit of a bind myself. I just
         cannot come out.

Koops: Gee... Is something wrong?

Flurrie: It's somewhat embarrassing...but I never go out without my favorite
         necklace. I just can't find the blessed thing! I suspect I dropped it
         on my daily constitutional. I'd be simply SCANDALIZED if anyone saw me
         without it, so I shan't be going out. I absolutely MUST have that
         necklace to highlight my beauty, and that's that!

Koops: Gee whiz, that must be some nice necklace, huh? ...Hang on... You know
       what? It's weird... I'm sure I just heard someone talking about a

Flurrie: What's that? DO speak up! You! Whoever just spoke! Do you have some
         clue as to my necklace's whereabouts? If you do, you must help me!
         Please! Be a dear! Find it and bring it back to me! If you could, then
         I'd be delighted to help my squishy little friend, Punio.

Punio: Don't worry, Madame Flurrie! I'm sure Mario can find your necklace. Word
       is, he's super! You can do it, right, Mario?

 - Sure.
 - Nah.

[If "Nah." is chosen...]

Punio: Huh? Did you just say "nah"? Uh... What's wrong with you? Let's go find
       her necklace!

[If "Sure." is chosen...]

Punio: Great! It's decided, then! Let's go find it!

[Regardless of the option you chose, the below line is said]

Flurrie: I'm sorry to trouble you so.

[Mario and the others exit Flurrie's house to go search for her necklace.

Vivian: Beldam! I TOLD you! Blaming me for losing the sketch...and YOU had it!

Beldam: Silence, you twit! Now's not the time to get hung up on stupid details!
        We must study this sketch!

Marilyn: Guh! Guhhhhh?

[Beldam takes out the sketch, which shows a picture of Mario. The three Shadow
 Sirens notice something odd about it]

Beldam: Wow! This Mario guy looks so manly! Check out that bushy mustache...
        How handsome! You know something, though, my lovelies? I swear I've
        seen this gentleman before... AAAAAAAAAAAACK! He's Mr. Mustache!

Marilyn: Guh! GUHHH!

[Beldam puts up the sketch]

Beldam: Ack! I don't believe this! Vivian! This is, without a doubt, all your
        fault! I'll be dealing out some strict punishment later, my dearie! Oh,
        yes! I promise you that!

Vivian: *upset* What?!? That's not fair! You're the one who had the...

Beldam: Silence, you squirrel-brain! Don't you cop that insolent attitude with

Vivian: Ugh! This is NOT fair...

Beldam: And about that necklace... I was thinking of returning it to you, but
        NO MORE!

Vivian: Awww...

Beldam: AND...since you caused this problem, you have to figure out how to find
        this Mario chump!

Marilyn: Uhhhh-guh...

[Mario and the others make their way back to the Shadow Sirens]

Beldam: Well! If it isn't Mario! Shiny mustache or no, you can't be too bright
        if you came here looking for us! Mmmmmwee hee hee hee... And you know
        why? 'Cause we were waiting for YOU!

Koops: Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I remember! THEY'RE the ones with... Hey! Wait a
       second... What do you mean, you've been waiting for Mario?!? That

Beldam: Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you...but I simply can't
        allow you to hunt for the Crystal Stars. And so, I'll be taking that
        little map of yours just as soon as I deal with you.

Koops: Whoa, whoa, scary lady! How do you know about the map and the crystals?
       Have you talked to Princess Peach or something? Hey, now that I think
       about it, who are you, anyway?

Beldam: Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! Those who seek names are often disappointed, but
        if you insist, we'll tell you. We are...

Marilyn: The Three...

Vivian: Shadow Beauties!

Koops: The Three Shadow Beauties?

Beldam: Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about? It's Shadow

Beldam: I don't see three beauties! I see two, but then there's you, and you're

Vivian: Aw, right, Sis, I'm sorry... It's just, you always call us "lovelies",

Beldam: It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment
        coming your way!

Vivian: Aw, gee whiz... I hate being punished...

Beldam: That's for later, though... First, we have to deal with this Mario and
        his friends. Let's do it, my lovelies...or rather, my lovely and ugly!
        Marilyn! Vivian! The might of The Three Shadow Sirens will be more than
        enough to win the day!

[A battle commences]

Beldam: *to Mario* It's most unlucky that our sights are set on you. Well,
        unlucky for you, of course. Marilyn! Vivian! Let's show them precisely
        what we can do!

Marilyn: Guh!

Vivian: Yes, Sis!

[After Beldam takes a few hard hits...]

Beldam: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! You're tougher than I thought, Mr. Mustache.
        I guess it's time to stop toying with you, hmmm?

Beldam: Hit him, Marilyn! NOW!

Marilyn: Guh!

Beldam: What are you DOING, Vivian? You twit, I'll never forgive you if you

Vivian: S-Sorry, Sis!

[After Vivian is defeated...]

Vivian: I'm sorry, Sis...

[After Beldam is defeated...]

Beldam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now it's...up to...you....

[After Marilyn is defeated...]


[After the battle...]

Beldam: Mmmmwee hee haaaaaaaaack! Oooog. Maybe we were just a touch
        overconfident... Marilyn! Vivian! You lumps! We would've won if you two
        pulled your weight! Both of you, prepare for a world-class punishment
        session when we get home!

[They all run away, dropping Flurrie's necklace in the process. Mario picks it

Koops: That's Flurrie's necklace! Yes! Let's take it to her!

[The group goes back to Flurrie's house, then Mario offers Flurrie the necklace
 she wanted]

Flurrie: Oh! You delightful fellow! You've found my necklace! I'm beside
         myself, truly! But...you still mustn't see me. Please, leave the
         necklace by the door and wait a moment.

[Mario leaves the necklace by the door, and she takes it and closes the door]

Flurrie: Oh, splendid, SPLENDID! My oh-so-ravishing necklace! I'm awash in joy!

[A disco appears and Flurrie makes her entrance]

Flurrie: Oh! Oh...my...word! Mario, isn't it? Are YOU my heroic little necklace
         hunter? Well! My, my, my... Aren't you a FINE specimen of a man! Yes,

Flurrie: I simply MUST thank you for your graciousness! But how to do it?
         Hmmm... Perhaps if I...grabbed you and gave you a little sugar?

[Mario refuses]

Flurrie: Here I come, handsome! Time to give you a proper thank-you! Pucker up!

[She knocks Punio and Koops over, then kisses Mario hard. He falls over]

Flurrie: Oh, Mario, you are just the CUTEST little thing I've ever laid eyes

[Mario gets back up and disagrees]

Flurrie: Yes, you are, and that's that. So tell me, are you truly looking for
         the Crystal Stars? The very same Crystal Stars spoken of by all the
         lowlifes in Rogueport? Mmmm... A danger-filled search for beautiful
         jewels... How absolutely marvelous! And here I was thinking how
         frightfully bored I was! It's time for a change!

Flurrie: And besides, I do declare... That plush mustache of yours has
         completely swooned me! A man as manly as you must attract all sorts of
         trouble, and I want to keep you safe! So, I daresay I'll be joining
         you on this little adventure. I assume that's fine, Mario?

[She winks]

"Flurrie joined your party!"

"Flurrie's Abilites: A Primer"

"Press X and Flurrie will exhale strong gusts of wind that can blow things
 away! If she blows in the direction of an enemy, she can make its head spin
 for a bit! Hold down X to make Flurrie exhale continuously!"

[The ability is demonstrated]

"She can also do a Body Slame in battle, squashing enemies with her...stage
 presence. She can also aid Mario by using her Gale Force attack to blow
 enemies away!"

[After the introduction...]

Punio: This is wonderful! It's so nice that Flurrie likes you, Mario. It's
       great! And even more importantly, Flurrie's chose to join us! Let's go
       to the Great Tree!

[Mario, Punio and Flurrie make their way to the Great Tree]


The Great Tree

[Mario walks up one part of the tree, and uses Flurrie's wind-blowing ability
 to blow off a piece of the tree. It reveals a hole and a "Secret Entrance"
 sign above it]

Punio: That's the secret entrance! We can finally get inside! Here I

[Punio crawls into the hole]

Flurrie: Aren't Punies just the most precious little things?

Flurrie: Mario, I feel I must ask... Did you know that I used to be a rather
         famous actress? I was a diva of the stage! I was known as Madame
         Flurrie the world over... But...the flithy air outside the spotlight
         repelled me. So I came to the woods.

Flurrie: And soon enough, I glimpsed the beauty of these Punies and their pure
         little hearts... It reminded me of my own innocence as an actress. And
         that made me realize... I shall ever love the stage! I must feel the
         spotlight shine on me again! I MUST! As you can see, these dear little
         Punies helped me find my true self... That's why I must help them
         however I can before I go on my own adventures.

Punio: Mario! Can you hear me?

[The door on the tree unlocks, and Punio goes through it]

Punio: Check it out! I was able to open it from the inside! C'mon! Over here!

Flurrie: The time has come for me to repay my debt to the Punies. Come along,

[They enter the tree. Upon entering, Punio notices no one's around]

Punio: Uh... Hmmm? Weird... Normally, everyone's right here... What the hey?

Punio: Hey! Elder! Everybody! Come out! HELLOOOOOOOOOO?

[The door ahead unlocks, and two X-Nauts come out from it. They notice some
 intruders, and rush over to Mario, Flurrie and Punio]

X-Naut #1: Wah! Who are YOU guys?!? How'd you get in here?

X-Naut #2: Whoa! Dude! Is that... Isn't he that Mario guy?

X-Naut #1: WHAAAAT?!? He IS? We'd better get him, then!

X-Naut #2: But, dude, Lord Crump told us to tell him IMMEDIATELY if we found
           Mario. Remember?

X-Naut #1: You idiot! Use your head! If we capture him, we'll get all the
           credit, man! Duhhh!

X-Naut #2: Oh, yeah... Right on. Let's rock this chump!

X-Naut #1: One two, three...BREAK!

[A battle commences, and Mario and Flurrie win. After the battle...]

X-Naut #1: C-Crud! That stung, man!

X-Naut #2: Dude, maybe reporting back to Lord Crump isn't such a bad idea,
           after all!

[The X- Nauts retreat]

Punio: Pretty slick work, handling those guys, Mario. Seriously, way to go! But
       the question remains... Where did everyone go? What could possibly make
       everyone leave?

[Punio spots a Puni behind some pillars]

Punio: Finally, SOMEBODY shows up! What are you doing hiding back there? Come
       out, for Pete's sake! I found us a powerful ally!

[They walk up to Mario]

Puni #1: He... He's huge!

Puni #2: Uh... Are you sure your huge mustachioed man won't try to eat us?

[Punio notices another Puni]

Punio: Huh? Hey! Who's that? Who else is back there?

[Many Punies appear, and mumble bad things about Mario]

Punio: Now, don't worry, everyone. This is Mario, and he's our friend. He's
       here to help! All those bad guys? Mario'll stomp every one of them, just
       like those last goons.

[The Punies come out]

Punio: Is this it? There are so few... Well, we have to make do! Let me
       formally introduce... Mario...

Voice: WAIT!

[A fat Puni comes out]

Fat Puni: How do we really know this burly fellow is our ally? He might be one
          of them!

Punio: Puniper! What're you saying? He's not one of them! Listen, we can all
       fight alongside Mario and chase those goons out of here! We can take
       back our tree. We can take back our homes!

Puniper: Hah! Big, bad Punio... Listen to yourself! Trying to sound all
         important-like! You have no idea the kind of troubles we've been
         through while you were gone!

[He pushes Punio out of the way and walks up to Mario]

Punio: What? What are you talking about, Puniper?

[He walks up to Puniper and looks at the other Punies]

Punio: ...And why are there so few of you here, anyway? What happened to

Puniper: Well, they've been captured...by those goons! The elder... Everbody...
         Including... Your sister!

Punio: WHAT?!? PETUNI?!? Tell me it isn't so!

Puniper: Oh, it is, all right! She was taken off somewhere with the rest of
         them! They said it was because we wouldn't tell them where to find
         some crystal thing. We told them we'd never heard of it.

Punio: Oh, poor Petuni... Well, that absolutely tears it! We've all got to go
       look for them right away!

Puniper: What are you saying, Punio? We can't do anything to those giant goons!
         Besides, they aren't alone. The cursed Jabbi tribe is in league with
         them. They're hoping to make this tree their own once we've all been
         driven from it. This is it for us. The end! And adding this hairy old
         man to our ranks won't help a bit!

Punio: How can you say that? You can't know that! We HAVE to try, don't you
       see? Think about it! If we all get together we can take care of any
       stupid Jabbies! So, who's with me, huh? Come on, everyone! Let's pool
       our strength!

Puniper: Hah! Punio, Punio, Punio... You'll have to convince me, because I
         think you're nuts.

Punio: What's that supposed to mean?

Puniper: Tell you what: you and Mr. Mustache there can get the revolution
         started! If you can free our friends who got locked up somewhere in
         the tree...

Puniper: ...then I'll join your little crusade. Hah! Like that'll ever happen!

Punio: Fine! We'll show you! Right, Mario? Right? C'mon, follow me to glory!
       Let's go help them!

[Mario, Flurrie and Punio navigate the Great Tree, which is full of X-Nauts and
 other enemies. Eventually, a scene commences with a single X-Naut in an empty

X-Naut: Man... This is brutal. How much longer 'til we find that stupid Crystal
        Star? Not even those puny Punies we captured know anything about it.
        And they live here! After all this pointless searching, I'm thinking
        we're looking in the wrong place...

[A shadow appears and knocks out the X-Naut. Meanwhile, Mario, Flurrie and
 Punio finds a room with some cells. The Puni elder is in one of them]

Punio: Elder!

Elder Puni: Punio! Is that you? You're looking well.

Punio: Why are you so calm, Elder? You're trapped! And this is our daring
       rescue of you!

Elder Puni: Oh, a rescuing, is it? Well, thanks, I suppose. Those are quite
            exciting. But...I think you ought to help the other Punies before
            you rescue me.

Punio: Where are the others?

[As the elder mumbles to himself, Punio hears someone]

Voice: ...Big brother?!? Is that my Punio?

[Punio notices another cell full of Punies, along with Petuni. He runs over

Punio: Petuni! Thank heavens! You're here! You're safe!

Petuni: I knew you'd come for me, Punio! I just KNEW it!

Punio: Of course I would, dear sister! And I've brought us a mighty ally! Look
       at him! We're going to get you out of there right away, I swear. You
       just hold tight a second.

Petuni: OK!

Punio: Mario! Listen... We've got to find the cell key or we're going nowhere!

[They proceed to the next room, where an unconscious X-Naut is. They also spot
 Ms. Mowz, who knocked out the X-Naut earlier]

Ms. Mowz: Oh, well, isn't this a treat! We must stop meeting like this, don't
          you think?

Flurrie: Excuse me? We must what? Are you a friend of Mario's? Oh, wait... I
         see. And I most certainly do NOT approve!

Ms. Mowz: Well, anyway, I heard there were nice badges to be found here, so I
          came looking... Only problem is, I've been running into more trouble
          than I expected.

[She walks over to Mario and kisses him]

Ms. Mowz: Mmm hmm hmm hmm! But who cares about that? LOVELY to see you again!

[She jumps to an exit]

Flurrie: Oh, mercy me! Mario! You're popular with all the girls, aren't you?

Ms. Mowz: The precious Crystal Star you're looking for is near the bottom of
          this tree. Good luck finding it before the others! Mmm hmm hmm! Take
          care, my handsome 'stache superstar! Let's get together again soon!

[She leaves]

Flurrie: Well! Don't worry, Mario! I'm not TOO jealous. What a shameless flirt,

[The X-Naut gets back up]

X-Naut: Urgh, my aching... Hey! You! You're the dirtbag who hit me from behind,
        aren't you? Yeah, real fair, you scum! You fight dirty, you get dirty!
        And I'll be doing the dirting!

[Mario and Flurrie battle the X-Naut and win. He drops a Red Key, which unlocks
 the red cell in the previous room. Mario and Flurrie take it back to the cell,
 then they unlock it]

Punio: Elder! We're back! We're here to rescue you!

Elder Puni: *growing big* FOOLISH CHILD!

Elder Puni: Punio! Sit down this instant and keep your mouth shut!

Punio: Huh? What? Why? What did I do? Uh... Listen, Elder, I don't know why
       you're mad, but we came here to help you...

Elder Puni: Stop your mumbling, you! And mind your elders! You whelp! How
            could you abandon your poor sister and run off like that...
            Absolutely shameful!

Punio: But... But, Elder... I just went to find help... To help rescue you...

Elder Puni: Oh, stop with the whining! You never interrupt an elder
            mid-lecture! NEVER! You wonder why the other Punies call you a
            "doofus" sometimes? That's why. And your time to be a doofus is
            over, because you have to lead our Puni tribe one day! That day is
            not far off! ...And THAT is why you need to listen! Now, first of

"Several hours later..."

[Mario and Flurrie have fallen asleep]

Puni Elder: ...or else! You got that? From now on, you've got to get your act
            together, Punio!

Punio: ...Yes, Elder. Yes, I understand.

Puni Elder: Bah! Only answer ONCE! ...But say, by the way, why are you here,

Punio: Uh, I was just telling you... We came to rescue everyone. We started
       with you, Elder.

Puni Elder: Oh! Is that so? Well, good! In that case, get me out of here
            already! Criminy! This cell is cold, which isn't good for the old
            back, and there's this damp stench...

[The elder walks off and out of the cell]

Punio: Uh... Well, there she goes. Enough standing around!

[Punio goes over to the other cell]

Punio: Just you wait, Petuni! I'll be right back for you!

[Mario and Flurrie follow him]

Petuni: OK, big brother! I'll be waiting.

[The three go back to the first room, where Puniper and the elder waits, along
 with the other Punies]

Puniper: Well, if it isn't Punio... Hmph! You heard me! Hmph! I can't say I
         expected you to manage to rescue the elder...

Punio: I told you I could do it!

Puniper: Don't get a swelled head! This doesn't mean I'll accept you as our
         leader... And it defenitely doesn't mean I completely trust that
         mustache guy, either. For starters, you still haven't rescued the
         other Punies yet. I'm not lifting an antenna to help until you do.

[The elder gets mad and grows big]

Puni Elder: You stubborn MULE!

Puni Elder: Deplorable! How DARE you talk like that, knowing what we're up
            against?!? We must stand together now! We must take back our tree!
            Don't you understand that?

Puniper: But... But, Elder...

Puni Elder: Shut your trap, Puniper! And mind me, you hear? You'll help
            Mustachio here... What'd you say your name was again? It was, er...
            It was Marty, wasn't it?

Punio: It's "Mario"! He's Mario! I mean, sheesh! He's only world-famous! Come

Puni Elder: Yes, yes, simmer down, you. And everyone else, help Marty-o clear
            out our tree!

Puniper: Oh, all right, Elder... Whatever you say. I'm not heartless or
         anything. To tell you the truth, I'm worried about Petuni, too. And
         you're right, we have no choice. We must fight! Right, everybody?

[All of the Punies agree]

Puni Elder: There you go, my Punies! That's the spirit!

"10 Punies joined your party."

Punio: Thanks, you guys...

[Flurrie goes up to the elder]

Flurrie: Say, if you have a moment... Might I ask you a question? We're looking
         for a lovely gem called a Crystal Star... Do you know of it?

Puni Elder: The Crystal Star, eh? Hrrrrrmmmmmmm... Yes, perhaps... Hidden down,
            down, down at the bottom of this tree is a funny-colored stone. But
            what do we do with it? Oh, right: "Guard it from evil and give it
            to a pure heart..." That's what generations of elders have been
            taught. Might be the Crystal Star...

Puni Elder: Marty! Or...Marty-o! I'm thinking you better get it before those
            goons do. I don't quite see how just yet, but I bet it's connected
            to us getting our tree back. You got all that, Marty-o? Crystal
            Str. Bottom part of the tree. Go to it.

[Mario nods]

Puni Elder: Oh! Hold your horses! I forgot something... Before you can get the
            Crystal Star, you must save all of the captured Punies. Yup, you'll
            never get to that gem without the help of the Punies. Not a chance.
            So here, you'd better take this. It's the Puni Orb. It's the symbol
            of our leader.

[She holds out an orb]

Puni Elder: If you place this in the pedestals you see around the tree, the
            Punies will gather. Just remember to take the orb with you when
            you're done using it. Because, well, if you don't, everyone'll kind
            of hang out and stare at the orb.

[She gives Mario the Puni Orb]

Punio: All right, guys! Let's go rescue everybody!

[As Mario, Flurrie and the Punies proceed...]

Puni Elder: Oh, and one more thing...

Puni Elder: So sorry! So sorry! I've been awfully forgetful as of late.

Puni Elder: Now then, where was I? Oh, right! On your way to the Crystal
            Star... If you lose any of the Punies and have a hard time finding
            them, just come see me. What I'll do is, I'll give a whistle to
            call 'em back here. You got all that?

[Mario, Flurrie and the Punies proceed to the next room. With the help of the
 Puni Orb, a pipe is revealed]

Flurrie: My goodness! Would you look at that! A pipe leading down. Let's see
         where it leads!

[Shortly after, in another room, a creature is spotted which retreats to the
 room ahead]

Punio: Mario! Did you see it? That was a Jabbi! Based on what Puniper said,
       they're helping the intruders and trying to seize the tree. Our tribes
       have been enemies for a long time now. Every time we meet, we fight. A

Punio: ...But I used to get along with Jabble. He's one of the Jabbi tribe... I
       wonder if even Jabble is my enemy now...

[In the next room, a horde of Jabbies come out from their nest]

Punio: Everyone! It's the Jabbies!

Punio: It's a 10-Jabbi squadron! Uh... Let's get them! Come on, Mario!

[During the battle...]

Punies: Whoa, nelly!

[After the battle...]

Punio: Wow! We did it! We defeated every last Jabbi here! Now we have to
       destroy the Jabbi hive fortress!

[The Punies enter the hive and destroy it, revealing an entrance to the next
 room. Inside, they find a chest with the Blue Key inside]

Punio: Yes! With this key, we should be able to open the cell my people are
       locked in. Hurry! We have to free my sister and the others!

[They make their way back to the cell room. Meanwhile, in that room...]

Puni: ...and they'll never come back and that's that and what's gonna happen to
      us and... Hey, by the way... What's that thing you've been holding on to
      so tightly?

[Petuni pulls out a Dried Shroom]

Petuni: It's a mushroom...

Puni: Oh. Not to be, you know, rude, but it looks all dry and wrinkly and

[She puts the Dried Shroom back up]

Petuni: Yeah, yeah, I know... I picked it so I could give it to my brother to
        eat. But then I got captured and stuck in here, and after a few days it
        dried out.

Puni: Oh, really? Great story. Anyway, don't worry so much. All my complaining
      aside, I'm sure Punio will return.

[When Mario and the others get back to the cell room...]

Punio: Petuni! I'm back! We brought the key! We're opening the cell right now!

[Once they unlock the cell, the 90 Punies come out of the cell]

Petuni: Big brother!!!

Punio: Little Petuni! Are you all right? You're not hurt, are you?

Petuni: Nope! I'm fine!

Punio: Thank heavens!

Petuni: Hey, big brother... I have something for you!

Petuni: I meant to give this to you sooner, but...

[She takes out the Dried Shroom]

Petuni: Mushrooms are your favorite, aren't they, big brother? But... Well,
        this one kinda got dried out.

[Punio eats the Dried Shroom, thinking to himself that it's utterly nasty]

Petuni: Big brother... It was icky, wasn't it? I'm sorry.

Punio: Not, not...URK! ...Not at all! Mmmm-MMMMM! Delicious! Very...uh...urp...

[Petuni is worried]

Petuni: Big brother? You OK?


[Punio hugs her]

Petuni: Hey, quit it, Punio! C'mon! Don't get all mushy! Everyone's staring!

Punio: Well, it was just a really sweet gesture, that's all.

Petuni: ...Aw, it was nothing!

"90 Punies have joined your party!"

[Mario, Flurrie, and all of the Punies proceed back to the second Jabbi hive
 room. Inside, a horde of Jabbies come out of the hive. After a fierce battle
 against them...]

Punio: Whoa! We beat them! We KO'd every last Jabbi here! Now let's destroy the
       Jabbi hive fortress!

[The Punies go into the hive and destroy it. As they press on through the tree,
 they come to a pillar in an empty room, and Mario places the Puni Orb in it.
 Suddenly, a cage closes in on them and a pipe is revealed outside the cage]

Punio: Uhhhhh...huh? What? What just happened?

Voice: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!

[Lord Crump and two X-Nauts appear]

Lord Crump: Man, you guys are dense! Brilliant little trap, huh? And BOY, did
            you bite on it! I saw you sticking that silly stone on the
            pedestals, so I made a fake one... Awesome. I mean, I KNEW it was
            great, but seeing you fall for it really gives me a warm fuzzy.
            Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Talk about complete idiots! You guys are so
            dumb, it hurts!

Lord Crump: Anyway, with you fools out of the picture, I can take my time
            hunting the Crystal Star. Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!

[Crump and the X-Nauts leave]

Punio: Mario! What do we do? Uh... We HAVE to find a way out of here... But
       what can we do?

[Mario uses his paper ability to slip through the bars of the cage]

Flurrie: My! Such wonderful drama! I imagine we have to do something now, don't

Punio: Mario! Think of something! I'm counting on you!

[Mario goes through the pipe nearby, and notices some columns]

Flurrie: Pardon me a moment! Don't these odd columns look somewhat familiar?

[He hits a black switch, causing a rumble]

Flurrie: Oh, I feel I might swoon! What was that, I wonder?

[After going back to a room with the same columns, Mario solves a puzzle and
 finds a room with a big chest. They contain the Super Boots]

Toadette: Hey there! I'm Toadette! Congratulations on getting the Super Boots!
          These cool kicks power up jump attacks! And you'll be able to use a
          new technique! So let's practice it, OK? If you press A at the right
          moment when jumping, you'll do a Spin Jump! Timing is everything!

"Press A in midjump!"

[Mario does the Spin Jump]

Toadette: Wow! That was perfect! You're a natural! Want to try again?

 - One more time!
 - Nope! I got it!

[If "One more time!" is chosen, the tutorial repeats. If "Nope! I got it!" is

Toadette: OK! That's just super! It looks like you've mastered the Spin Jump!

[Toadette places down a wooden panel]

Toadette: You can smash through spots like this with your Spin Jump.

[It disappears]

Toadette: That's it! You got it! You can use the Spin Jump in battle too. Give
          it a try! Well, I hope to see you again soon! Good luck on your

[Toadette walks off. Mario and Flurrie head back to the room where the Punies
 are trapped, then he enters the cage and Spin Jumps the black panel]

Punio: You did it! Yes! Yes! Now we can get out of here!

[Mario goes back in the cell and uses Flurrie to blow the Punies down the hole.
 They explore more areas of the tree, eventually coming to a pillar. Mario
 places the Puni Orb in there, and all of the Punies step on a panel. They then
 feel rumbling]

Punio: Uh... What's... Oh, no! What's happening?

[The panel lowers them into the bottom room of the tree]

Punio: So THAT'S how you get to this room...

[In the next room...]

Lord Crump: Hmm... Lemme see... That thing's gotta be around here somewheres...

[Crump hears Mario and the others]

Lord Crump: Buh...huh? What's that? Whoa! Sounds like a mob! Better clear

[Mario places the Puni Orb into the pillar ahead. Suddenly, a Crystal Star ries
 from the center column]

Flurrie: Oh, dear me! Mario! Isn't that the Crystal Star?

[Crump enters and takes it]

Flurrie: Oh, dear! That wretched beast again! Dearie me!

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Man, am I lucky or what? Or am I just
            goooooood? "Oh, you say you need a Crystal Star, Lord Crump?" BOOM!
            Falls right into my lap!

Lord Crump: Still, this is humiliating! You shouldn't have been able to escape
            that cell... So, for insulting my awesome trap, I'm gonna repay you
            with a little present. Know what it is?

[Crump pulls out a remote]

Lord Crump: Oh, just a little something I like to call A REMOTE TIME-BOMB

[He walks over to the other side of the room]

Lord Crump: I'm gonna use this to bury you and those squirmy Punies in rubble!
            Sound fun? Well, enjoy your final minutes inside this dank old
            tree! And with that...pow! I'm gone!

[He presses the button on the remote, causing a timer to commence. Then, he

Flurrie: I must say, I craved exciting times, but I never expected this! Let's
         go, quickly now!

[They all quickly go back to the first room of the tree, where Lord Crump and
 the elder is]

Puni Elder: You won't be going any further this-a-way!

Lord Crump: What?!? Are you nuts? Move it, you old geezer!

[He grows big]

Puni Elder: WHAT?!?

Puni Elder: Did you just call me an "old geezer"? Where do you get off, talking
            like that? You got no respect, brat! Don't think my age has a thing
            to do with my might! Even if it kills me, I won't let you through!

Lord Crump: Whoa. What's your problem, Gramma? You got an ear hair tickling
            your brain, or what?

Puni Elder: Oh! Ooh! What the...OUCH! ...Can't...take...another...step...

[Her back snaps]

Puni Elder: What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!

Lord Crump: You hotheaded old coot! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots
            with you!

Flurrie: Ahem! You'll do no such thing!

[Crump notices Mario and Flurrie]

Flurrie: Honestly, did you REALLY think we'd let a wretch like you escape?
         I do believe you'll be handing over that Crystal Star and promptly
         exiting this tree!

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! You guys are nuts, you know that? Oh, well.
            Guess I'd better shut off this timer.

[He shuts off the timer]

Lord Crump: OK, you pests! One pummeling, coming up...with extra fists! Metal
            fists, that is!

[Using the remote, he summons up an egg-like ship. It gets four metal ends
 added to it]

Lord Crump: Awake, Magnus von Grapple! Time for a technological thrashing!

[It forms into a big robot machine, and a battle begins]

Lord Crump: Are you crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with
            tissues. Well, Magnus von Grapple has that effect on people. Total,
            weeping terror. And you ain't sen nothing yet! Check out the power
            on this bad boy!

Flurrie: Mercy me! That metal colossus is incredible! ... And yet... There's
         something rather odd about it... Let's just keep our eyes peeled!
         Don't be careless!

[After a round of turns...]

Lord Crump: Here it comes, suckers! Magnus von PUNISH!!!

[After a couple of more attacks...]

Lord Crump: Oh, it ain't over yet! This is so awesome. Check out what else this
            guy can do. You're gonna love it! This might not work out too well
            for you!

[He shoots the metal hands off, and they float in the air. Once he is nearly

Lord Crump: Gurk! Urrrrrrgh... Not good... Can't last...

[Once he's defeated...]

Lord Crump: Bleeeeee-harrrrgh... This could be the end...

[After the battle, his Magnus von Grapple machine blows up, then he falls over
 and drops the Crystal Star]

Lord Crump: Buh! Bu-AAAAAARGH! No! Magnus von Grapple! How could we lose?!?

[He gets up]

Lord Crump: Hurff... Hurfff... Hurffff... I'll remember this, losers!

[Crump runs off]

Voice: Lord Crump summons us!

[Three X-Nauts retreat out of the Great Tree]

Flurrie: A rousing success, Mario! How delightful!

Puni Elder: They're gone! This place can go back to being the peaceful place I

[Mario responds]

Puni Elder: All right, there, Marty-o. You can have the Emerald Star...the
            Crystal Star that resided in this tree!

[Mario takes the second Crystal Star]

"You got a Crystal Star! And you learned the special move, Clock Out!"

"And so, after pummeling Lord Crump, Mario obtained the second Crystal Star...
 With the X-Nauts gone, peace once again prevailed throughout the Great Tree.
 The Boggly Woods echoed with the Puni songs of joy. But...this may not be the
 last our hero hears from the vile X-Nauts. They will surely continue to stand
 in Mario's way and try to put a stop to his efforts..."


Peach's Event #2 [PCH2]

[At Grodus's lair...]

Grodus: What?!? Say that again! You can't get in touch with Lord Crump?

Blue X-Naut: You are correct, sir. We are investigating now... We should hear

[A red X-Naut enters the room]

X-Naut: Sir Grodus! Please allow me to enter!

[He walks up to Grodus]

Grodus: Yes, what is it?

X-Naut: I have a report, sir! The Crystal Star in the Boggly Woods has
        apparently been taken by Mario!

Grodus: What?!? You must be joking! What about Lord Crump and the Shadow

X-Naut: Uh, I'm sorry, sir! Unfortunately, Mario laid a beating on all of them!

Grodus: Hmmm... Disturbing. This Mario character... What kind of... Speak up,
        X-Naut! What is the status of the other Crystal Stars?

X-Naut: I apologize, sir! We are still searching for the other Crystal Stars!
        Unsuccessfully, sir!

Grodus: We knew of three of them... Hooktail Castle. Boggly Woods. The one we
        got in Rogueport. That means there are four Crystal Stars left out

Grodus: ...And we WILL have them! Keep looking, so that Mario won't beat us to
        the punch!

X-Naut: Yes, SIR!

[The red X-Naut leaves]

Grodus: As I suspected, there's no reason to doubt that Mario has that map...
        He must. Listen up! You! I want you to keep a close watch on what Mario
        does from now on!

Blue X-Naut: Absolutely, sir!

[The blue X-Naut leaves]

Grodus: Mario... I loathe you.

[At Peach's room...]

Princess Peach: Oh, Mario... Did you even read the mail I sent you? I wonder...

Princess Peach: I wonder so many things... I wonder how everyone is doing at
                the castle... Will I never dance at the Mushroom Ball again?
                What will become of me?

[TEC's hallway door opens]

Princess Peach: Oh! Is this TEC's doing again?

[Peach continues into TEC's room]

TEC: Hello, Princess Peach. I am glad you came.

Princess Peach: That mail I sent to Mario... Did it reach him all right?

TEC: Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the mail.

Princess Peach: Is that so? Well, good... So what do you want from me today?
                Is there more you want to know of love?

[She walks up to TEC]

TEC: You expressed regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a
     ball, correct?

Princess Peach: *surprised* Ex-CUSE me?!? Were you eavesdropping?

TEC: I am sorry, Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on
     you. But...it is odd... When you said that, I had an impulse to dance with
     you as well. How many CPU would produce this impulse is inexplicable. I
     must find what caused it.

Princess Peach: Find out what caused it? There's no reason behind such a
                feeling, TEC. Wanting to do something together... It's part of
                love. *quietly* I know it. But then again... You are...well...
                a computer.

TEC: Princess Peach. Please dance with me.

Princess Peach: Wait... Wait just a minute! What...am I supposed to do? You say
                you want to dance? It's just so...bizzare... I mean, how in the
                world can I dance with you? You have no arms. Or feet. Or

TEC: Would this be an acceptable dance substitue?

[A clone of Peach appears]

Princess Peach: Oh my goodness! Is that me? Did you create that? ........Oh,
                all right, I guess.

Princess Peach: I must say, though, it's going to feel weird, dancing with

"Press the buttons as they display on the screen."

[After the dance...]

TEC: Thank you, Princess Peach. That was very fun.

TEC: Just a moment...

TEC: ........................................

TEC: ...Fun? Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?

Princess Peach: TEC? Are you OK?

TEC: Princess Peach, I will fulfill my promise to you. Please use my
     communicator. Use the keyboard to send whatever message you want.

[Peach writes a letter to Mario]

Princess Peach: I'm finished, TEC. Could you send it?

[TEC sends the message]

TEC: The message has been sent. Please go back to your room. I want to analyze
     the data from this dance immediately.  The data that I thought was fun...

[Peach walks to the door]

Princess Peach: You're a weeeeird computer.

TEC: No. You are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer.

[Peach exits the room]

TEC: Good night, Princess Peach.


Bowser's Event #2 [BWS2]

[Bowser is at the Petal Meadows with Kammy Koopa]

Bowser: I'm pretty sure it's just up ahead here...

Kammy Koopa: Right as usual, Lord Bowser! We just got word that Princess Peach
             was spotted in the town up ahead.

Bowser: Good! Yes, very good. Then I'm off! These fools don't know what's

Kammy Koopa: Mweh heh heh heh heh! My lord! You're so super!

[Bowser laughs. After playing a Super Mario Brothers-esque stage, they both
 arrive at Petalburg]

Koopa Troopa #1: Oh, hey, welcome to Petalburg and...

Koopa Troopa #1: *horrified* EEEEEEK!!! Hide, everybody! HIIIIDE!!!

[The Koopa Troopa runs away]

Bowser: Hmmph! What a wuss. Yes, hide, chickens! I have no need for any of you!
        What I do need, though, is Princess Peach. Now, where is she? Tell me
        this instant!

[Kammy Koopa notices Peach on the wall of a house]

Kammy Koopa: Lord Bowser! Over there!!!

Bowser: Bingo! Princess Peach! Man, that was easy!

[Bowser goes over there]

Bowser: I've found you, my princess. I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, offer my

Princess Peach: ...................................

Bowser: Now, now! None of that silent treatment! You're coming to my castle
        with me!

[Kammy Koopa comes]

Kammy Koopa: Mweh heh heh! Clearly she's so overcome with joy that she's been
             left speechless! The mind of a maiden is, well, rather...
             complicated. Mweh heh heh heh heh!

Bowser: Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! I see! I see! How refined! How elegant! Awesome!
        I suppose I could live with a silent princess! It might even have its
        perks, you know?

Koopa Troopa #2: NOOOOO!!!

Koopa Troopa #2: My... My life's treasure! I'd rather die than give up my
                 life-sized Peach poster!

[He jumps up to the poster and rips it off. Bowser is surprised]

Bowser: P-POSTER???

Kammy Koopa: Oh, my goodness me... Didn't see that coming...

Bowser: Great. Just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of GUYS WHO


Before Chapter Three [BFC3]

The Great Tree

Punio: Uh... Thank you, Mario, for everything you've done. We can go back to
       our peaceful way of life now.

Puni Elder: You know, son, now that we get right down to it, I'm kind of sad to
            see you go. I do love pontificating, so come on by whenever you
            want to sit and chat awhile.

Petuni: Yes, please come back and visit! We'll watch for you!

Punio: We'll work together from now to prevent anything like that from
       happening again. Thanks for showing us how to stick together, Mario.
       Good luck with the Crystal Stars.

Flurrie: Oh, this shan't be our last visit. Certainly not! But... Until then,

Punio: See you, Mr. Mario!

[Mario responds, then leaves]


Boggly Woods

[As Mario and the others make their way out of the woods, Mario gets some mail]

Flurrie: Oh, mercy me! Sounds like some mail!

[Mario opens the Mailbox SP]

"Dear Mario, I'm sure you're very concerned about me... But please know I'm
 fine! I'm actually more worried about you. The fiends who kidnapped me are
 searching desperately for the Crystal Stars. I'll try to learn what I can
 about them. I'll e-mail again if I uncover anything, OK? You must know I miss
 you. Lately I've dreamt about our days back in the castle. I hope we'll spend
 carefree days there again soon."
                  -Princess Peach-

Flurrie: Isn't that precious, Mario?

[Mario nods. They continue to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

[Mario and the others go to the room where the Thousand-Year Door is located.
 He stands on the pedestal in front of the door]

Flurrie: Now, my little Mario! It's Crystal Star time!

[He holds up the second Crystal Star, and the diagram appears again. The
 location of the third Crystal Star is recorded on the Magical Map]

"The location of a Crystal Star has been recorded on your Magical Map!"

Flurrie: Oh, mercy me! The next Crystal Star has made an entrance! My, my, my!
         But... Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it up in the sky? What does
         THAT mean?

[Mario and Flurrie go to Frankly's office]



Professor Frankly: ...That means that beneath this town, the thousand-year-old
                   ruins remain intact.

[He closes a book]

Professor Frankly: And that door's been sealed shut for a thousand years by the
                   Crystal Stars... In order to open that seal, we have to
                   muster the power of all the Crystal Stars.

Flurrie: Perhaps I'm just daft, but why would they want to seal this treasure
         away at all? Did they fear thieves and brigands? If not, then what?

Professor Frankly: No, that's not...

Flurrie: Hm? That's not what?

Professor Frankly: I don't KNOW!

[They get scared]

Flurrie: Frankly, please!

Professor Frankly: I'm sorry. So sorry! I know that the treasure was sealed
                   away around the time the town was destroyed... But the
                   problem is... No one's even sure what it was that caused the
                   town's demise. All that's written is this: "Darkness stole
                   the sky and the cataclysm rained down." I must research this
                   more. Assuming will just make an... Well, you know the

Flurrie: Oh, yes. How inappropriate. In any case, what about the location of
         this Crystal Star that's floating on the map?

Professor Frankly: Hmm... Very interesting... Perhaps it's pointing to the
                   floating town of Glitzville... There's a stunning arena
                   there where great warriors engage in furious battles!
                   Ostensibly, families go there on vacation to lounge and
                   enjoy the fights, but... Behind the scenes, the richest
                   people in the world wager on the bouts.

Flurrie: A floating city, you say? So, are we just supposed to sprout wings and
         fly there, darling? Do tell.

Professor Frankly: A special blimp flies there... It departs from Rogueport
                   several times a day. The problem is getting a seat. The only
                   way to get a ticket is through certain "channels"...

Flurrie: Oooh! That sounds exciting! A little...on the seedy side. Show me the

Professor Frankly: Hrmmmmmmm... I don't know... But I guess we don't have much
                   choice. Word on the street is, all tickets go through Don
                   Pianta on the west side.

Professor Frankly: Head west from Rogueport's main plaza and you'll reach the
                   west side of town. That part of town is under control of Don
                   Pianta, the Pianta syndicate head. Apparently, Don Pianta
                   makes pretty regular jaunts over to Glitzville.

Flurrie: Mmmm... I like the sound of this Don Pianta fellow. I cannot WAIT to
         meet him!

Professor Frankly: It may sound easy, but he's a syndicate boss, folks. The
                   rumors about him are scary. And Don Pianta is a recluse.
                   Just getting an audience with him will be difficult.

[Mario and the group go to the main plaza of Rogueport. As they make their way
 to the western end of the town...]

Zess T.: FREEZE!!!

Zess T.: You two! Not another step! Don't come this way!!!

Zess T.: Some complete JERK just bumped into me and made me lose a contact
         lens! I'm looking for it right now, so DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!!!

[She looks around]

Zess T.: You hear me? Whatever you do, do NOT move an INCH! NOT AN INCH, YOU

[Mario moves, squishing her contact lens]

Zess T.: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! IDIOT! You stepped on it! My poor
         contact lens!!! I told you NOT TO MOVE!!!!! Don't your stupid ears
         work? What were you thinking?!?

[She runs over to Mario, and Mario gets scared]

Zess T.: This is your fault! Now I have to buy a new contact lens! But YOU'RE
         gonna pay for it! Compensate me, Mr. Clumsy!

[Mario refuses, then Zess T. blocks the entrance to the west side of town]

Zess T.: Fine! If that's your plan, then here's MINE, you oaf! I'm gonna block
         the gate to the west side until you bring me a new contact lens!

[Mario enters the shop and talks to the manager]

Manager: Hey there, fella! Welcome! Is this your first time in the shop? I
         think it is! I always like to explain our shop-point system to new
         customers, so bear with me. Customers receive one shop point for each
         purchase they make. You with me so far? Save up enough shop points and
         you can get prizes, including some rare items. You'll find a list of
         prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out. It's a pretty
         simple promotion, wouldn't you say, fella? Need me to explain it

 - Yes
 - No

[If "Yes" is chosen, he simply repeats himself. If "No" is chosen...]

Manager: Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, fella!

[He talks to the shop owner]

Shop Owner: Welcome! Yes, welcome to the Toad Bros. Bazaar!

[Mario responds]

Shop Owner: Eh? What's that? You want a contact lens, you say? Hmm. Wait just a

[He walks over to the manager, and they talk. Then he walks back to Mario]

Shop Owner: Gee, fella, I'm sorry, but we don't have any in stock right now.
            Tough luck, I know. I can special-order one right away for you, but
            it'll take a while. Check back soon, OK?

[After wandering around the town a bit, Mario returns to the store. Now they
 sell the Contact Lens, so Mario buys them and goes back to Zess T.]

Zess T.: Did you bring me my contact lens, Mr. Squishy?

[Mario gives her the Contact Lens]

Zess T.: A contact lens! Oh, sweet relief! Thank you! Finally, the world is
         crisp and clear again! I can see! Oh! I'm so happy!

[She walks to her house]

Zess T.: Be careful from now on. People don't generally like having their stuff
         stomped on.

[She goes inside her house, and Mario and the others go back to the eastern
 side of Rogueport. They defeat a gate guard that was blocking the way, then
 they slip through a crack in the wall, where they find a building. Inside is
 the leader of Robbos]

Robbo Leader: You want somethin', chump? This is the fortress of the Robo
              Thieves. You lost? What business brings a chump like you to a
              place like this? Say it ain't a vacation.

[Mairo responds]

Robbo Leader: Whazzat? You wanna meet that lyin', cheatin', stealin', no-good
              jerky-for-brains, Don Pianta?

[Mario nods]

Robbo Leader: Real thieves like us end up poor as dirt, never catchin' a break
              'cause of that guy. Did you come here knowin' all that?

[Mario nods]

Robbo Leader: And you know that scumbag demands protection money from us too,
              yeah? You know all that and you STILL want us to tell you how you
              can meet that crumb?

[Mario responds]

Robbo Leader: Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk... But it'll cost you 64 coins! And no
              budgin' on the price! Not a single coin! Inside info is pricey!
              Them's the breaks!

 - OK, I'll pay.
 - Forget you, pal!

[If "Forget you, pal!" is chosen...]

Robbo Leader: WHAT?!? Oh, fine, I get it. Don't wanna pay, huh? Fine! No pay,
              no way, I say! Come back when you're ready to stop being a

[If "OK, I'll pay." is chosen...]

Robbo Leader: Y-You'll pay? Really?

 - Yeah, you heard me!
 - Uh...no.

[If "Uh...no." is chosen, he says the same thing he says if you refuse him the
 first time. If "Yeah, you heard me!" is chosen...]

Robbo Leader: YESSSSS! I mean... Good call. You're a shrewd businessman. 64
              coins, on the nose.

Robbo Leader: OK, then clean those ears out and listen here... There's a parlor
              in the west part of town that's run by that worm Don Pianta... Go
              to the store next to the parlor. Buy a Dired Shroom and a Dizzy
              Dial. Make SURE you buy 'em in that order: Dried Shroom, Dizzy
              Dial. You got that? You do that and the shopkeeper's gonna ask
              you what your favorite color is. You answer "yellow". You got
              that? Not "green". Not "blue". "Yellow". You hear me? See,
              "yellow" is the password for gettin' into Don Scumbag's
              oh-so-comfy office. You got all that?

 - Yes
 - No

[If "No" is chosen, he repeats himself. If "Yes" is chosen, Mario and the
 others continue to the shop on the western side of Rogueport. Mario buys a
 Dried Shroom and Dizzy Dial, in that order]

Shop Owner: Yeah, yeah... Here we go. All righty, Mister. What color is your

[Mario answers]

Shop Owner: Oops! What's wrong with me? That wasn't the right question at all!
            Uh... Let's try this again. Ahem! OK, Mister... What's your
            favorite color?

[Mario answers "Yellow"]

Shop Owner: Uh-huh. Well, you check out. You know the password. So, um, you
            must be an acquaintance of Don Pianta! Good for you.

[She floats over to the wall, then unlocks a door which is part of the wall]

Shop Owner: You can go through the door. Go on with your bad self.

[Mario and the others continue into Don Pianta's office. Inside...]

Don Pianta: What's wid you, wise guy? I ain't too jolly today... If you got a
            beef, spit it out quick or dis is gonna hurt.

[Mario responds]

Don Pianta: Ex-CUSE me? You want a... You want me to give you a ticket for da
            blimp? See, now, to me, dat's funny... You a stand-up comedian? No?
            You oughta be. You got some nerve askin' me for dat. I'm Don
            Pianta! I make cryin' babies weep!

Pianta Sidekick #1: You want I should run dis bum out on a rail, Boss? Lookit
                    him! Whadda rube!

Pianta Sidekick #2: You must like pain, funny guy! You just lookin' for
                    trouble, or what?

Don Pianta: Not so fast, boys. I like dis kid's gumption. He just came to talk,
            no? Dat ain't a crime. So we talk. You boys can wait 'til we're
            done before you rough him up, you got it? So, I gotta assume you
            got a reason for wantin' a ticket for da blimp. Out wid it!

[Mario responds]

Don Pianta: What's dat? You wanna help some broad what got herself kidnapped?
            An' to rescue dis dame, you're out collectin' da Crystal Stars?

[Mario nods]

Pianta Sidekick #1: Da...Crystal Stars? Hey, Boss! Ain't dose things in dat
                    legend 'bout da ancient treasure?

Pianta Sidekick #2: Vinny, you're such a dope! Hey, Boss! Dis knucklehead
                    believes in fairy tales!

Flurrie: Bite your tongue! Don't listen to that lout! The treasure is as real
         as I am!

Don Pianta: Everybody, just...shut it. I don't care if da treasure is real or
            not. Get me? But I tell ya, I can't help but like a guy who wants
            to rescue some skirt he fell for. I made my decision! You do me a
            little...favor...an' you get your blimp ticket. Sounds fair, right?

Flurrie: I'm not entirely sure I like the sound of this...

Don Pianta: It's easy. It's nothin'. It's less dan nothin'. See, da thing is...
            My own daughter...eloped wit' one of my young...associates. Dey
            vanished...but it wasn't too long ago dat dey did. Dey oughta still
            be nearby. You gotta find my daughter, Francesca, an' dis...
            Frankie...an' bring dem both here. If you are unable to bring dem
            here, then alls you gotta do is tell me where dey are. Then I shall
            settle dis matter quickly, an' wid what is known as extreme

Pianta Sidekick #1: Boss! We don't know nothin' about dis guy. You can't rely
                    on some goofball for dis job!

Pianta Sidekick #2: Yeah, Boss! Vinny's right! Leave it to us to find

Don Pianta: QUIET, YOU! It's 'cause you lugs can't find her dat I gotta swallow
            my pride an' ask dis guy!!! I hope you dopes ain't makin'
            complaints 'bout my decision. You makin' complaints?

Pianta Sidekick #1: No, Boss. Whatever you say goes, Boss.

Pianta Sidekick #2: I dunno what I was thinkin', Boss. It won't happen again,
                    Boss. You're da boss, Boss.

Don Pianta: Good. I'm glad we're all of full understandin' for one another.

Don Pianta: So it's settled, yeah? Find my daughter an' her...friend. Den come
            see me. Francesca and Frankie look like dis: *picture*

Don Pianta: An' just so we're clear here... If you don't find my daughter, your
            luck may turn terrible...

[Mario and the others find Francesca and Frankie at the harbor]

Francesca: Hey, back off, you creep! You want something, or you just like
           sliding up to people?

[Mario responds]

Francesca: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? Daddy asked you to find us? And take
           us to him?!?

Francesca: Frankie, what should we do? If Daddy finds us now... Oh, I don't
           know...and the boat's coming any minute...

Frankie: Dollface... Maybe we oughta head back and try to talk to da boss one
         more time.

Francesca: No, Frankie! Don't say that! Don't you know what he'll do to you if
           we do that?

Frankie: Francesca... Babydoll...  If we can just talk calm-like wit' da boss,
         he'll understand.

Francesca: Oh, Frankie... My Frankie... Don't you love me?

Frankie: Of course I love you, sugar cookie. More dan anybody in da whole

Francesca: Then let's go, Frankie! Let's run! To the ends of the earth if we
           have to!

Frankie: But, butter biscuit... Dey already found us out. We can't keep runnin'

Francesca: We can, Frankie! The more you try to put out the flames of love, the
           hotter they burn! Until I marry you, no one will extinguish these
           flames of passion! NO ONE!!!

Francesca: *to Mario* Don't you see, Mister? I beg you: pretend you never saw
           us! Can you do that?

 - Of course! (Sniff!)
 - No way, sob sister!

[When "Of course! (Sniff!)" is chosen...]

Francesca: Oh, thank you! Thank you! You're swell, Mister! You're a real
           stand-up guy!

[As Mario goes to leave...]

Flurrie: Oh, whatever should we do? We have to say SOMETHING to that Don Pianta
         fellow... I must say, though... I don't fancy a run of terrible luck.
         That would be unfortunate.

[Mario and the others head back to Don Pianta's office]

Don Pianta: Oh. Look who's come back. Da proverbial mustache. You gonna
            brighten my mood? So give. What you got? You know da whereabouts of
            dese two runaways?

 - Sure do. And I'll tell you.
 - Uh... I can't tell you that.

[When "Sure do. And I'll tell you." is chosen...]

Don Pianta: Oh, is dat a true fact? Rogueport Harbor, eh? Well done. I
            appreciate dis favor you done for me. I'll prepare your blimp

Don Pianta: Hey! Hey! You two nimrods! Da kids are at da harbor! NOW GO GET

Francesca: Daddy, wait!

[Frankie and Francesca are in the office]

Don Pianta: Francesca!

Frankie: Boss! Forgive me, Boss! I-I'm sorry! Truly, I am!

Don Pianta: Frankie! So! Back you come, head hung low an' wit' your tail
            between your legs!

[They walk up to Don Pianta]

Francesca: No, Daddy! Don't hurt him! I'm the one who said we should elope. It
           was ME! But Frankie said no! He said we should come back and talk to
           you, Daddy!

Frankie: Boss! Listen, I don't care what you do to me! I deserve it all for
         bein' disloyal! But you gotta forgive her. Forgive your daughter,
         Boss! Dat's all I ask.

Francesca: No, Daddy! No! No! No! I'm the bad one. It's my fault! If you're
           going to punish anyone, punish me!

Frankie: No, Boss! It's all on me. It's my responsibility! All da blame, right

Francesca: Daddy!

Frankie: Boss!


Don Pianta: Francesca! My headstrong daughter... You used up your last favor
            long ago!

Don Pianta: An' you, Frankie! You were like a son to me! Dis is how you repay
            your debt to Don Pianta? I feel such disappointment in you two,
            it's like a Poison Shroom in my gut.

[He turns away]

Francesca: Daddy!!!

Frankie: Boss!!!

Don Pianta: I don't ever wanna see your mugs again! You hear me? Get outta my
            sight! Both of you! I don't care where, just go!!! ...That's what
            you expected me to say, huh? Well, that's what I'm sayin'! Go! Do
            what you want! Even if it means gettin' married!

Francesca: Oh, Daddy!!!!!!!!!!

Frankie: Dad! ...No! Wait, I mean... BOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Francesca: Thank you so much, Daddy! Thanks for your blessing!

Frankie: Boss! I'll make your daughter a happy woman! I promise you! She'll
         want for nothin'!

Don Pianta: Enough already! Just go! GO! *sniff*

Pianta Sidekick #1: Francesca... Seein' you dis happy makes me...happy too.
                    Congrats, both of youse!

Pianta Sidekick #2: Frankie! Dis is great! It ain't quite what I promised, but
                    hey! Things turned out OK, am I right?

Francesca: Good-bye, Daddy! Farewell! And thank you!

[Francesca and Frankie leave, and Mario talks to Don Pianta]

Don Pianta: You still here?

Don Pianta: Hmph! Well, you found my daughter an' got her come back here... An'
            just lookit how things turned out! What a complete an' utter soap
            opera. But hey, a deal's a deal. You can have your blimp ticket,
            like I said.

[He gives Mario a Blimp Ticket]

Don Pianta: Who knew? Dat guy's got her smilin' ear to ear! She's...happy.
            Dat's good. Hey, I knew you were da right man for da job! Thanks a
            bunch, pally!

Don Pianta: ...But I don't wanna see dat gloomy face of yours no more! Don't
            ever come back here!

[Once Mario and the others leave Don's office and the shop...]

Flurrie: My, my! We've done it, Mario! Next stop, Glitzville!

[They go to the blimp area and speak to the blimp owner]

Blimp Owner: This blimp goes to Glitzville. Will you be joining us on our
             flight today?

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Blimp Owner: Ah! Please allow me to check your boarding pass.

[Mario shows him the Blimp Ticket]

Blimp Owner: Then please watch your step as you step aboard.

[Mario boards the blimp, and it flies them up. Eventually, they reach the
 floating city of Glitzville]


Chapter 3: Of Glitz and Glory [CHP3]


[Upon arriving at the floating city...]

Flurrie: My, my, my! Glitzville! I've heard that the Glitz Pit is just full of
         brawny brawls! I must admit, the prospect of some hurly-burly gets me a
         touch piqued!

Flurrie: Now, darling, let's find that Crystal Star, hmm?

[They go inside the Glitzville's main building, and then they find an area
 known as the Glitz Pit, where there is a big crowd who watches the battles
 that take place. Inside...]

Flurrie: Oh, dear me! What a positively glorious venue! Oh, mercy, Mario! Look
         there! Those two brutes are about to have at each other!

Rawk Hawk: *to the crowd* That's right! Unh! I think it's about time for you to

[He stomps on the opponent]

Koopinator: OOOOOOOOOF!

Rawk Hawk: Stay down, pincushion! You don't want more of this! Why'd you even
           show up? Yeah, you hear me talking, Wimpy! Stay outta the ring, or
           feel the burn, baby! Tell you what: do about a million push-ups and
           then come see Uncle Rawk Hawk! I'll give you another world-class
           spanking and send you crying home to Momma again!

Grubba: Hooooo-WEEEEEEE! Champ! That was a grade-A whuppin'! Yer thoughts on
        the match!

[Grubba holds the microphone up to the Rawk Hawk]

Rawk Hawk: You call that a match? Ain't there a fighter out there who can
           challenge me? No! No one can! Hear me? Ain't a fighter out there
           that can even make me sweat! They're all a bunch of little
           crybabies, running around in stinky diapers! You got a bone to
           pick?!? Come fight me! Bring it! I'll take on anyone! You
           weaklings might as well stick to video-game fighting, OK? 'Cause
           I'll hurt you. YEAH! NUMBER ONE, BABY!!! RAWK HAWK IS THE CHAMP!

[He holds up the champion's belt, which has a Crystal Star on it]

Flurrie: Oh, my word! Mario! On that uncouth bird's belt! Is that a Crystal

[The Rawk Hawk is shown]

Flurrie: Yes, I do believe it is! That wonderful sparkle is yet another
         Crystal Star! ...But such a tawdry place to find it... Why would it be
         here, of all places?

[They exit the Glitz Pit arena]

Flurrie: Oh, whatever shall we do? I don't fancy the idea of stealing that
         fellow's belt... What shall we do, Mario?

 - Steal that thing!
 - Battle our way to the top!

[When "Battle our way to the top!" is chosen...]

Flurrie: Oh, you darling man, I'm SO happy to hear you say that! I'd expect
         nothing less! You're ten times the man of anyone here! You'll be
         champion in no time!

[Mario nods]

Flurrie: Let's move on then, shall we? Our next step is to become official
         fighters, I imagine. Ooh, my heart is positively THUMPING! Let's find
         whoever is in charge, this minute!

[Mario talks to a security guard on the left side of the area]

Security Guard #1: What's that, bub? You wanna become a fighter? ...Hmmm. Well,
                   if you're serious, you'd better go meet with Mr. Grubba, the
                   promoter. Mr. Grubba's office is just down the hallway. You
                   can't miss it. Head on through.

[Mario passes through the door, and finds another security guard blocking the
 door to Grubba's office]

Security Guard #2: What's that? You want to be a fighter, bub? Oh, all right,
                   go on in. Mr. Grubba's just inside.

[They enter Grubba's office. Inside...]

Grubba: Who in tarnation are you, son? And who let you in?!? This is Grubba's
        office! Yep, that's me, Grubba! An' you, yer one rude dude, comin' in
        without knockin'!

[Mario walks up to Grubba and talks to him]

Grubba: What, now? An athlete, huh? You wanna be a fighter?

[Mario nods]

Grubba: Hoo-WEE! That do change a thing or two, son! I always got time for an
        up-an'-comer! Yep, this place is packed to the gills with young
        fighters, all primed and a-rarin' to go! I gotta say, son, yer a bit
        skinny fer my tastes, but I'm willin' to give you a shot. Now, play me
        straight, son: you wanna live the glamorous life of a champ, don'tcha?

 - Darn skippy!
 - Not particularly.

[The outcome is the same regardless of the choice]

Grubba: All right! All right, son! I hear where yer comin' from, son, lound an'

[He walks over to Mario]

Grubba: When I was just a poor pup, I didn't give a Pokey's patoot for fancy,
        big-city ways. But I jumped into the world of martial arts and fought
        my way to fame and riches! An' know what I realized? Bein' rich an'
        famous is diggety-dang DYNAMITE!

Grubba: Now, I can't mix it up in the ring no more, but I earned enough to set
        me for life. You readin' me here, son? Dreams do come true, even if
        they ain't yours, exactly!

Grubba: Yep, that's the key, son! Dream big, and you'll GET big, that's the
        winner's way!

Grubba: And when you make it big, you'll look back at all those small-dreamers
        and LAUGH! You readin' me here, son?

[He turns around to Mario, and catches Mario's attention again]

Grubba: That's the spirit, chief! Here, let's have us a little walk 'n' talk.
        C'mon, now!

[Mario follows Grubba out of his office and proceeds down the hallway. They
 enter the champion's room]

Grubba: Now how you like THIS, pard? Just feast yer eyes, go on! This...is the
        champion's room. Isn't it a sight? Deee-luxe! You become champ, son,
        and you get the key to this room! That ain't all, of course! That's on
        TOP of the big money and screamin' fans! Yeah, no doubt about it, son!
        Apply yourself an' a life of wealth an' comfort awaits!

[They go to the major league locker room]

Grubba: Now, uh, here we have the major-league locker room. A lotta contenders
        here! Whatcha think, son? Huh? Not exactly glamorous, but it's clean
        and comfortable. Totally sanitary, too. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I
        CARE about my fighters, darn it!

[Back at Grubba's office...]

Grubba: Now... I'm sure you know this already, son, but there ain't but one
        world champion. Clawin' your way to the top an' takin' the belt to
        become champ ain't an easy thing... But that's the point, son! Wouldn't
        be worth it if there weren't no challenge! I can see you got the fire
        for it, too, pard! You got the eye of the tiger, there! Yer gonna be
        champ, I can just FEEL it! I ain't never been so sure about a fighter!

Grubba: Oh, hey, one other thing... You gotta sign a itty-bitty contract to be
        a fighter. It ain't no thing, just take a second or two of yer time.
        Just jot your name here, OK?

 - Sign me up!
 - I don't think so.

[The outcome is the same regardless of the option you choose]

"You signed the contract!"

Grubba: Best thing you ever done, son! Now, yer Mario? Ain't a bad handle...
        Still, I gotta say, pard, it lacks a little punch as a fighter's name,
        get me?

Grubba: Lemme see, here... Bam! Hoooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! I got it!!! From now on,
        you're gonna be...the Great Gonzales! Hoo! Ain't that a beaut? Dang if
        that ain't a stroke of genius! A name that good comes 'round once a
        lifetime! Yep, everyone will soon bow before the Great Gonzales! Make
        me proud, son!

[Mario is confused]

Grubba: Well, now that we got the business side outta the way... Jolene? Could
        you come in a minute, darlin'?

[A girl walks in, which is Jolene]

Jolene: Yes, sir? You wished to see me?

Grubba: Sure did, hon. Jolene, this is the Great Gonzales, our newest risin'
        star. Be a peach and take him on down to the minor-league locker room,
        all righty?

Jolene: Right away, sir.

Jolene: Mr. Gonzales? If you would be so kind, please follow me.

[Mario follows Jolene down the hallway to the minor-league locker room]

Jolene: As you know, you are a contracted fighter now, so you must abide by
        some rules. First and foremost, what Mr. Grubba says, goes. Period. You
        must do what he says. Also, as per your contract, you cannot quit until
        Mr. Grubba releases you. There are many other small guidelines that I
        will explain as they become relevant.

[They walk into the minor-league locker room]

Jolene: Well, here we are. This is your locker room.

Jolene: You're starting in the minor league, of course, as you've just now
        started your career. If you don't like this dingy room, I suggest you
        work your way up through the ranks.

[Jolene walks over to a GBA-style screen on the wall]

Jolene: When you're ready to fight, you just log on to this computer terminal
        here. Mr. Grubba will then decide who you'll match up against. You will
        have no say in this. Why don't you try it once? Walk up to the screen
        and log on with A. Then pick "Reserve a Match".

[Mario reserves a match]

Grubba: Well, howdy, Gonzales! Ready to get yer fists dirty, huh? There you go,
        son! I got a treat fer you: yer first battle's gonna be against the
        Goomba Bros.! Don't you worry 'bout them... They'll be a piece of cake!
        Just mop 'em up, OK, son? Hey, we wanna get everyone fired up, though,
        so appeal to the crowd at least once! You got any questions about
        detailed rules, just ask the lovely Ms. Jolene, OK, son? Well, good
        luck, pard!

[The screen turns off]

Jolene: OK, your battle is reserved. At this point, you just wait until
        Security comes for you. Fighting is pretty basic. The team that drops
        the opponent's HP to 0 first, wins. If you beat an opponent who ranks
        above you, your ranking will go up. Then again, if you lose to a
        lower-ranking opponent, your ranking will go down. Simply winning is
        not enough. When Mr. Grubba sets fight conditions, follow them. In this
        case, the condition is to appeal to the crowd at least once. Fairly
        easy. If you satisfy the condition and win, you can battle a
        higher-ranked opponent next. If you can get your rank up to 11th,
        you'll get a shot at the major league. That's about all you need to
        know for now. Did you get all that?

 - Yup.
 - Not exactly...

[If "Not exactly..." is chosen, she repeats herself. If "Yup." is chosen...]

Jolene: OK, good. For now, just wait until Securuity comes to get you, Mr.

[Mario and his partner wait, then the security comes]

Security Guard: Gonzales! Match time! Follow me, bub.

Jolene: OK, Security's here to escort you to the ring. Try not to get
        completely destroyed out there.

[The security guard leads Mario to the Glitz Pit arena]

Grubba: Squarin' off next, folks...are the Hoppin' Hardheads... the GOOMBA
        BROS.! Aaaaaand... A newcomer, with a hankerin' for hammerin', the
        Greeeeeeat GONZALES! The Goomba Bros. have been waitin' an' gettin' all
        het up for the fight. Let's check in!

[He walks over to the Goomba Bros.]

Grubba: How do, Goomba Bros.! How're y'all feelin' today? You ready fer this

Goomba: Ha! Are you kidding, man? We're ALWAYS ready to bonk a fool or two! Who
        is this Gonzales rookie! A cocky idiot, that's who! Waiting just makes
        us mad! We're gonna teach this tardy punk how to respect fighters with
        seniority! I think maybe you oughta call an ambulance for him now, just
        to save time later!

[Mario enters and steps onto the ring]

Grubba: Hot-diggety-DANG, fight fans! There's the Great Gonzales now, stridin'
        on up! I tell you, this rookie's got some guts, strollin' up late like
        he owns the place! Hoo!

Grubba: OK, now, Gonzales, listen up. Lemme just explain the rules of the match
        real quick...

Goomba: Have a bonk, punk!

[They interrupt Grubba by immediately starting a battle]

Flurrie: What sort of base cowards attack before the match officially begins?
         Honestly! Come on, Mario, darling! We shan't lose to lowlifes! Let's
         teach them a lesson!

Goomba: Aw, quit crying, will ya? That was just a little welcome gift for the
        rookie! Where's our thank-you?!?

[After Mario wins the battle...]

Goomba: Uuuuuuuuuuurgh...

Grubba: The Great Gonzales wins! Tell me, son, what was this first taste of
        victory like?

 - That battle was savage!
 - Eh. It was OK, I guess.
 - That fight? What a joke.

[It doesn't make a difference what option you choose]

Grubba: I'll tell you what I just saw, folks: a whuppin'! This kid's got
        skills! We got ourselves a new hero! Let's hear it for him, folks!
        Yeah! The Great Gonzales!

[The fans cheer for Mario, then he's taken back to the minor-league room]

Jolene: Here's your prize money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 19!"

Jolene: The next fight will not be set up until you select "Reserve a Match" on
        the terminal. You can also check your current ranking on the terminal's
        screen. Feel free to do whatever you like until your next fight.

Jolene: You have a nice day, Mr. Gonzales.

[Jolene leaves. After she leaves...]

Voice: Yo, Rook! How was your first fight, dog?

[A Koopa Troopa walks up to Mario]

King K: I'm King K, man. Just a bush-league scrub like you. Good meetin' you,
        man. You look like a stand-up dude. I think I can hang with you.

King K: Hey, so, why don't you meet the gang, huh? This guy here's Master

Master Crash: Nice to meet you BOMB! Well. Now that we've gotten to know each
              other, I will give you advice BOMB! As Ms. Jolene was saying,
              you'd better BOMB obey Mr. Grubba's conditions. If you clear the
              conditions and win, you get to fight higher-ranked foes BOMB! If
              you can't clear them, you BOMB end up battling a lower-ranked
              fighter BOMB! You can't climb the BOMB ranks fighting the bottom
              of the barrel BOMB-BOMB!

King K: Yeah. My man's got, you know, some speech issues, but he's got good
        advice sometimes.

Master Crash: Not just sometimes BOMB! Advice is ALWAYS useful BOMB-BOMB!

King K: Riiiight, man, whatever. Anyway, this lean machine over here is Bandy

Bandy Andy: Heh. Nice to meet you. I'm not in here too often, but if you see me
            around, say hi. ...Oh yeah. If you sleep in the bed over there,
            your HP and FP will fully recover. It's not like the cushy bed in
            the champ's room, though: it doesn't refill Star Power.

King K: OK, cool, and this last guy with the sweet purple kicks is known as

Cleftor: Grack! Cleftor no like make friend with mustache.

King K: Easy there, Cleft-dog! Dude ain't the friendliest guy, but you get used
        to him.

King K: Anyway, that's the core minor-league crew, man! You need something, ask
        us. Oh, yeah... I almost forgot. You and me gotta eventually square
        off, so good luck, man.

[Mario reserves his next match, against the KP Koopas]

King K: Hey, dog... Looks like your next match is against me. Good luck, man...
        to both of us.

[When the opponents get in the ring...]

Grubba: Fer out next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Shell Machines of Doom... Yep, a fight to the
        finish with The KP Koopas!

Flurrie: Here we go, darling! Time to shine!

King K: Meet my peeps, Gonzales! I told you we were gonna square off, and now
        it's ON!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 18!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves]

King K: Hey, way to hand out a beatdown there, man. You beat me, straight up.
        Could swing the other way next time, though, you know what I'm sayin'?

[Mario reserves the next match, which is against the Pokey Triplets. Mario gets
 escorted to the ring for his next match]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Spiked Terror Triplets... Yep, a fight to the
        finish with The Pokey Triplets!

Flurrie: Mario, darling... Are you quite ready?

Pokey: Go ahead... Touch usssssss... It won't hurrrrrrrrrrrrt....too

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Anytime you care for another lesson, we'll be here!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 17!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves]

King K: Hey, what's crackin', G-man?

King K: You just finish beatin' down some poor fools or what? You lookin' good,
        man. The old King K wouldn't mind a little bit of your luck, man. Yeah,
        that'd be nice.

Voice: Get in there, you!

[Jolene walks in with Bandy Andy]

Jolene: How many times do I have to tell you: that room is absolutely
        OFF-LIMITS! If you want to remain on our fighter roster, you must
        follow the rules. And don't think I haven't noticed you following me.
        Stop that, too. It's creepy. If you don't obey the rules, we'll ban you
        from the Glitz Pit. Understood?

[Jolene leaves]

King K: Again, dude? Man, you just a MAGNET for trouble!

Bandy Andy: Heh heh heh heh heh... Sorry, King K. Didn't mean to bring Queen
            Nag in here.

King K: Aw, don't sweat it, B-money. Jolene can take that 'tude and shove it up
        her nose. Why you always chasin' that girl, anyway, man? You got a
        little thing for her?

Bandy Andy: Shut up, K! ...Now... If you folks will pardon me, I must be off.

[Bandy Andy leaves. Mario reserves another match, which is against the Dead
 Bones. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Bone-Banging Rockers... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Dead Bones!

Flurrie: Here we go, darling! Time to shine!

Dead Bone: We're gonna take the skin off YOUR bones!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 16!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves]

King K: Man, I heard you just KNOCKED some blocks off! Not bad, Double-G-dog.
        You're the real deal, man. The realest I ever seen. Keep bustin' heads!
        An' if anyone gives you lip, you just tell 'em King K said to back it
        up! Biz-OWWWW!


[Voices can be heard from outside at the hallway, and someone is being treated]

King K: Whoa. Sounds like some poor sucker just earned himself a trip to the

King K: Hey, man, this is a brutal sport, sometimes, you know? This stuff

[Mario reserves his next match, against the Spike Storm. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Midnight Spike-Bombers... Yep, a fight to the
        finish with Spike Storm!

Flurrie: Here we go, darling! Time to shine!

Spiny: We're gonna spike-bomb you into submission, punks!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Anytime you care for another lesson, we'll be here!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 15!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves, and King K walks up to Mario]

King K: Hey, man, check this: I heard the Hot Dog Stand outside's gettin' a new
        menu item. Yeah, sounds like it's some crazy Hot Dog made with an egg
        from a southern island. Some fool was even sayin' the Hot Dog'll help
        you win fights! You oughta snack out on one!

[Mario and the others proceed outside, where they hear someone]

Voice: No! Bad! So very bad! Behave yourself, egg!

[Mario notices the Hot Dog Stand owner chasing a bouncing egg]

Hot Dog Stand Owner: No! Bad! Come back! Help! My imported egg escaped!
                     Somebody, catch it!

[Mario catches it, then it jumps onto the top of the Hot Dog Stand]

Hot Dog Stand Owner: MOST AWFULLY BAD! Come down from there, bad egg! How am I
                     supposed to get it now? FLY there?!? *to Mario* You! Don't
                     just stand there with your mustache! Find a way to get up

[The egg falls asleep, and Mario looks for a way to get up to the egg. He finds
 an airplane panel which he uses to fly up to it. Mario talks to the egg]

Flurrie: Hmmm, now? You wish for us to help you, you darling little egg? Mario,
         hon, what do you think we ought to do?

 - Help the little guy!
 - Let there be Hot Dogs!

[If "Let there be Hot Dogs!" is chosen...]

Flurrie: Mario, you wash your mouth out right this instant! How DARE you
         frighten this egg! Well, I never... Little eggy, you just ignore the
         scary man, OK? We will let you go. You, sir! Mr. Proprietor! Would you
         allow us to free this poor soul?

[If "Help the little guy!" is chosen...]

Flurrie: A positively endearing choice, Mario, not that I expected any less. We
         shall free him! You, sir! Mr. Proprietor! Would you allow us to free
         this poor soul?

[The below lines are said regardless of the choice you made]

Hot Dog Stand Owner: Aww... Fine. Most people don't like eating stuff that
                     jumps all over the place, anyway,

Flurrie: Well, that's just loverly! You're free to do whatever you like, dear
         egg! Farewell!

[The egg jumps]

Flurrie: Hmmm? What is it now, dear? You wish to accompany us, you adorable

Flurrie: I daresay this little dumpling wants to stay with us, Mario. What
         shall we do?

 - OK, it can follow us.
 - No. Jumping eggs bug me.

[The outcome is the same regardless of the option you choose]

Flurrie: You're all clear, little one! But do try not to get underfoot, all

[The egg follows them around Glitzville. Mario goes back to the minor league
 room and reserves a match, against the Hand-It-Overs. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Grim Death Burglars... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Hand-It-Overs!

Flurrie: Here we go, darling! Time to shine!

Bandit: Heh heh heh heh heh! We're awful quick, awful agile...and just plain

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Anytime you care for another lesson, we'll be here!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 14!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves, and King K walks up to Mario]

King K: Hey, you hear the latest, G-dog? My boys said they saw a STUNNIN' babe
        havin' a juice at the Fresh Juice Shop. King K could use a little
        shortie in his life, dig? Check her out for me, man!

[Mario reserves another match, which is against the Mind-Bogglers. At the

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Gray Entanglers... Yep, a fight to the finish with
        The Mind-Bogglers!

Flurrie: Here we go, darling! Time to shine!

Piranha Plant: Prepare to be ensnared, mystified, and devoured!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 13!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves, and King K walks up to Mario]

King K: Listen, man... Keep it under your hat, but I'm thinkin' 'bout retirin'
        soon. If I stay any longer...well, my future might get shorter, dig?
        After next match, I'm gone. It ain't cool, man, that's for sure, but
        you know what? That's life, Double-G-dog. Listen... You be cool, man.
        Promise me you won't forget you once knew the King K!

[Mario reserves another match, against the Punk Rocks. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Green Torture Squad... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Punk Rocks!

Flurrie: Mario, darling... Are you quite ready?

Bald Cleft: This no take long. This end in pain for mustache.

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Anytime you care for another lesson, we'll be here!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 12!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves and Mario reserves another match, against the Bob-omb Squad. At
 the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Big Bomb Boomers... Yep, a fight to the finish with
        The Bob-omb Squad!

Flurrie: Mario, darling... Are you quite ready?

Master Crash: Here we go, Gonzales BOMB! I have advice! Just give up now

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Flurrie: Anytime you care for another lesson, we'll be here!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 11!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

Master Crash: *to Cleftor* It is quite lonely without King K around BOMB...

Cleftor: No lonely... Him too weak... Now him not here. Sound normal to

Master Crash: You are in BOMB denial, Cleftor. I saw you weeping in that locker

[Jolene walks in with a new fighter]

Jolene: Right this way, Sir Swoop. This is your dressing room.

Jolene: You're starting in the minor league, of course, as you've just now
        started your career. If you don't like this dingy room, I suggest you
        make your way up through the ranks.

Jolene: When you're ready to fight, you just log on to this computer terminal
        here. Mr. Grubba will then decide who you'll match up against. You will
        have no say in this. Why don't you try it once? Walk up to the screen
        and log on with A. Then pick "Reserve a Match".

[Sir Swoop walks up to the terminal]

Jolene: Use the terminal now. Don't you understand basic instructions, Sir

[He logs on]

Grubba: Well, howdy, Sir Swoop! Ready to get yer wings dirty, huh? There you
        go, son! I got a treat fer you: yer first battle's gonna be against the
        Goomba Bros.! Don't you worry 'bout them... They'll be a piece of cake!
        Just mop 'em up, OK, son? Hey, we wanna get the crowd fired up, so do a
        move where you do a triple flip and meow! You got any questions about
        detailed rules, just ask the lovely Ms. Jolene, OK, son? Well, good
        luck, pard!

[The terminal turns off]

Jolene: OK, your battle is reserved. At this point, you just wait until
        Security comes for you. Fighting is pretty basic. The team that drops
        the opponent's HP to 0 first, wins. If you beat an opponent who ranks
        above you, your ranking will go up. Then again, if you lose to a
        lower-ranking opponent, your ranking will go down. Simply winning is
        not enough. When Mr. Grubba sets fight conditions, follow them. In this
        case, the condition is to do a triple flip and then meow. Fairly easy.
        If you satisfy the condition and win, you can battle a higher-ranked
        opponent next. If you can get your rank up to 11th, you'll get a shot
        at the major league. That's about all you need to know for now. Did you
        understand all that?

[Sir Swoop jumps]

Jolene: OK, good. For now, just wait until Security comes to get you, Sir

Sir Swoop: Ummm... Hi guys. Yeah... My name's Swoop. SIR Swoop, I mean. Nice to
           meet you.

[Security comes]

Security Guard: You. Yes, you. Sir Swoop. Time for your battle, bub. Follow me.

Jolene: OK, Security's here to escort you to the ring. Try not to get
        completely destroyed out there.

[The security guard and Sir Swoop leaves, along with Jolene. Mario reserves
 another match]

Grubba: Well, dog my cats! If it ain't the Great Gonzales! Fixin' for a fight,
        huh? Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Hoo-wee! Yer gonna love this! Yer next
        opponent is... Ranked 10 in the Glitz Pit... The Armored Harriers!
        That's right! Yer darn tootin'! Yer finally gonna make a go at the
        major league, son! We're expectin' great things from you, so don't you
        go a-lettin' us down, now!

[From that point, Grubba makes random guidelines for the fight. At the ring...]

Grubba: And now...today's main event! The major league awaits the 11th-ranked
        Great Gonzales... But only if he can beat the 10th-ranked
        powerhouses... The Iron Adonis Twins!

Grubba: First, let's get the Merciless Executioner in here, folks! THE GRRRREAT

[Mario walks in and steps onto the ring]

Grubba: Hoooooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! The Great Gonzales! How're you feelin'?

 - OK, I guess.
 - Just perfect, thanks.

[The outcome is the same regardless of the option you choose]

Grubba: Whoa, nelly! You heard the fella, folks! He's obviously itchin' to mix
        it up some!

[Grubba notices the Armored Harries step ono the ring]

Grubba: Hyuk hyuk! Your challenger is real confident, boys! Yep, he's talkin'
        trash... "Iron Adonis Twins?" he said. "More like Paper Dog-Face Bros.!
        ...And they stink!" And then he said: "I bet they just play video games
        an' cry when they lose!" Um, yeah, and then he said... "Outie belly
        buttons run in their family! Stinkwads!" ...And so on. Yep.

Iron Cleft #1: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? How does he know Mom has an
               outie? That jerk! We're gonna blend you up into a smoothie,
               pal! And then we're gonna drink ya! Oh, and one more thing...
               Only smelly stinkwads call other people stinkwads! Understand,

Iron Cleft #2: Simmer down there, Bro. You! Stinkwad! You're gonna regret
               opening your yap, pal! See these bods? Solid iron. See these
               spikes? Yeah, they penetrate any substance. So, basically, what
               I'm telling you is that whatever you try will be completely
               useless. Think that over in the very short time you have left
               with a functional brain.

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[In the battle...]

Flurrie: Good gracious, we'll make the major league if we previal! I like our

Iron Cleft #1: Bluh huh huh huh huh... Give up now!

Iron Cleft #2: Well, stinkwads, you're about to learn our skills the hard way.

[Mario loses]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! The Armored Harriers!!

Iron Cleft #1: Bluh huh huh huh huh... How'd you like that? We tried to tell
               you, but nooooooo...

Iron Cleft #2: If you want another piece of pummel pie, have a bath and come on
               back! Punk!

[Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received 1 coin! Mario's ranking remains at 11."

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

Flurrie: Oh, mercy me! Mario... That adorable little egg seems to have
         disappeared. Where could the little fellow have gotten himself to?

[She looks around for the egg]

Voice: Yo!

[They notice a Yoshi, which hatched from the egg]

Yoshi: Gonzales! Check me out! Thanks to you, I hatched safe and sound! Thanks,

[Mario is surprised]

Flurrie: Why, you little rapscallion! You hatched from that egg? Well, aren't
         you precious!

Yoshi: Yeah, but who cares? You guys wanna be champs, right? You want a Crystal
       Star? I heard all about it while I was in the egg! Yeah! Anyway, I gotta
       repay you for saving me from old Hoggle out there, so I'll fight for
       you! I can hold my own! I'll swallow any opponent whole, honest! Just
       leave it to me!

[Mario responds]

Yoshi: Huh? My name? Lessee... I just came outta that egg, so I guess I don't
       have a name yet. You seem fired up about it, so why don't you gimme one?
       Make it cool, OK?

[This guide will simply refer to him as "Yoshi". After a name is given...]

Yoshi: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Yoshi, huh? Not too bad, dude. Not too bad
       at all. Yeah... I like it. OK, Gonzales... Let's get out there and do
       some damage!

"The Yoshi is now your friend! He'll answer to "Yoshi"!"

"Yoshi's Abilities: A Primer"

"Press X to get on and off the Yoshi!"

[Mario gets on and off, then on again]

"While riding the Yoshi, you'll move much faster!"

[Yoshi runs]

"Also, while on the Yoshi, if you press A, you'll float briefly in the air!"

[Yoshi floats, then Mario gets off]

"In battle, you can repeatedly bounce on enemies using his Ground Pound move
 or... You can use Gulp to inhale enemies whole and spit them out for massive

[After the introduction, Mario reserves a match against the Armored Harriers
 again. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Iron Adonis Twins... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Armored Harriers!

Yoshi: Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?

Iron Cleft #1: These ultrahard bods just can't lose!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[The battle starts]

Yoshi: Gonzales! Lemme at 'em! We're gonna take these punks this time!

Iron Cleft #1: Bluh huh huh huh huh... Stinkwad's challenging us again. He
               never learns!

Iron Cleft #2: Looks like he brought some new, shrimpy partner...as if that's
               gonna help him!

[Yoshi uses Gulp. He spits out the Iron Cleft to hit both of them, causing

Iron Cleft #1: YEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWCH! You spiked me right in the... THAT
               REALLY HURT! Our iron bodies and pointy nastiness are being used
               against us! No fair!

Iron Cleft #2: Oh, dang, Bro! Has he discovered our weak poitns?

[After the battle...]

Iron Cleft #1: Ooooooooooooorg...

Iron Cleft #2: Do we have to go back to the minor league now, Bro? I think I'm
               gonna be sick.

Grubba: Coooooooooongratulations!! Great Gonzales! With this win, you made the
        major league! Now, THAT, folks, was what I called a wiiiiiild an' wooly
        fight! A diggety-dang DOOZY! Keep it up, kid! You're goin' places, I
        can tell! Hoo-wee! C'mon, now, folks, give it up! We got a new
        major-leaguer! LET'S HEAR IT FOR HIM!!!

[The crowd cheers for Mario. Back at the minor league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's ranking rose to 10!"

Jolene: And Mr. Gonzales... Mr. Grubba wishes to see you in his office. Follow

[Mario follows Jolene to Grubba's office]

Jolene: Mr. Grubba... I've brought Mr. Gonzales, as you requested!

Grubba: Muh-Muh-Ms. Jolene! You mind yer manners, now! We KNOCK 'round here,

Jolene: I apologize, Mr. Grubba.

Grubba: Don't you worry yer pretty li'l head about it none. Now, what'd I want
        again? Somethin' 'bout Gonzales... Oh, yeah!

[He walks over to Mario]

Grubba: Gonzales, you ol' so-an'-so! Lemme congratulate you, son! Major league
        already, huh? I had a feelin' you were goin' places, and DANG, I love
        it when I'm right! You just keep on puttin' tuckuses in them seats! I'm
        countin' on you, son. I got a special li'l somethin'-somethin' for you.
        Go on! Take it!

"You got 30 coins!"

Grubba: So, yeah, somethin' else that's been on my mind... Yer costume ain't
        cool. No big deal, son, but hey. Someday, if you become champ, I'll get
        you a new one. Somethin' hot pink, maybe with some frills or somethin'.
        You'll look a sight, son! Anyway, that's somethin' fer another day,
        pard. Take a powder, OK?

Jolene: Mr. Gonzales, please follow me, if you would.

[Mario follows Jolene down the hallway to the major league locker room]

Jolene: This is the major-league locker room. You will use this room from this
        moment on. The match system is the same as the minor league...but the
        bouts are harder. Try not to get completely destroyed out there, OK,
        Mr. Gonzales? Well, if you'll excuse me... I must be going now.

[Jolene leaves, and everyone in the room is silent]

Yoshi: What's the deal? Would it kill these guys to show a little friendliness?

[The Rawk Hawk enters]

Rawk Hawk: Studly guy, coming through! Listen up, losers! I've been hearing
           about some rising star tearing up the league...

[He sees Mario]

Rawk Hawk: It's you, isn't it! Yeah! You fit the bill, skinnt! A mustache named
           Gonzales! Man, I came all the way over here for YOU?!? Harharhar!
           What a waste of time!

[Mario notices a Crystal Star on his belt, then he talks to Yoshi]

Yoshi: What's your deal, Gonzales? Huh? Oh! The champ's belt...

[He walks over to the Rawk Hawk]

Rawk Hawk: What in the... Hey! You! Get too close to the Hawk and you might get

Yoshi: *to Mario* I'm not sure, but it defenitely looks weird. I think you're
       right, Gonzales. FAKE!

[Mario nods]

Rawk Hawk: Hey, you think you can just smack-talk the Rawk Hawk? I DON'T THINK

Rawk Hawk: You got some guts, calling my belt a fake, you shrimpy, no-belt-
           having wimps! Didn't your momma teach you any manners?!?

Yoshi: Whoa, sorry, yellow dude! I didn't mean to rip on your big, bad belt!

Rawk Hawk: Stop making fun of me, punk! You're alive ONLY 'cause we ain't in
           the ring right now! If I see you under those lights, I'll tear you
           apart! Remember the RAWWWWWWK!

[The Rawk Hawk leaves]

Yoshi: Wow, I really pushed that dude's buttons, huh?

Yoshi: Well, forget him! We got a problem! Your map pointed to Glitzville,
       right? If that dude's belt has a FAKE Crystal Star on it... Then where
       the heck is the real one at?

[Mario gets an e-mail]

Yoshi: Gonzales! Was that your Mailbox SP going off? Who'd you get e-mail from?

[Mario opens his Mailbox SP]

"iF yOu WaNt ThE cRyStAl StAr, HeEd My InStRuCtIoNs."
                            FrOm X

Yoshi: Who the heck is this X dude? He talks like he's the man to see about
       that Crystal Star. Why would he wanna help us out, though? This whole
       deal seems kinda wack...

[Mario reserves his first match of the major league, against the Tiny Spinies.
 Security arrives]

Security Guard: Mr. Gonzales, it's time for your next match. Come with me.

[He follows the security guard to the ring. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Thorny Demons... Yep, a fight to the finish with
        The Tiny Spinies!

Yoshi: Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?

Spiny: Wheeee! It's gonna be fun poking at you!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 9!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves and Mario reserves the next match, against the Poker Faces. At
 the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Ultimate Weapons... Yep, a fight to the finish with
        The Poker Faces!

Yoshi: You think you can take me and Gonzales? HA!

Poker: Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! You're gonna be coleslaw, kid! And that ain't

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 8!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves, and Mario gets more mail]

Yoshi: Gonzales! You hear that? You just got another e-mail! See what it is,

[Mario opens his Mailbox SP]

"gO tO tHe WaTeRiNg HoLe OuTsIdE ThE gLiTz PiT."
                               FrOm X

Yoshi: It's from our mystery X dude? Go to some "watering hole", huh? OK,
       whatever! I'd give anything to know who this dude is.

[Mario and Yoshi go to the Juice Bar outside of the Glitz Pit, then they speak
 with the bartender]

Bartender: Oh, you're Mr. Gonzales! Yeah, that's the mustache I've been waiting

Bartender: Actually, you're pretty late... Somebody left a package and a note
           by the door a bit ago. The letter said: "Look for a thick-'stached
           man named Gonzales and give him this." The "this" the letter was
           talking about is...this.

[He gives Mario a Super Hammer]

Toadette: Hey, it's me again! Toadette! It's so nice to see you again, Mario!
          Congratulations on getting that Super Hammer! It's WAY more powerful!
          Plus, you can also use a wicked-cool new technique! Wanna learn about
          it? Sure you do! Let's practice! It's a little hard, but I'm sure
          you'll get it! Hold down B and rotate the Control Stick until your
          body twists up. Then release B to perform your Super-Hammer
          technique! The key is to rotate a lot before releasing B.

"Hold down B and rotate the Control Stick, then release B!"

[Mario does the Super Hammer technique]

Toadette: Oooh, excellent, Mario! You're so awesome! You want to try it again?

 - One more time...
 - No, I got it!

[If "One more time..." is chosen, the tutorial repeats itself. If "No, I got
 it!" is chosen...]

Toadette: OK! Great! You've mastered the Super Hammer!

[A huge yellow block falls down]

Toadette: With the Super-Hammer move, you can break even big blocks like this!

[The block disappears]

Toadette: Oh, gee, I almost forgot! You can use the Super Hammer in battle,
          too! Try it! See you later, Mario! Good luck with your quest!

[Toadette walks off. Back at the Juice Bar...]

Bartender: So far's I could tell, that hammer's a new model, the HAMMAWHACK
           2005... Real nice hammer all around. Solid craftsmanship, good grip,
           high bonkability. The commercials for this thing say that the hammer
           chooses its user... They aren't cheap, either, so whoever gave this
           to you must be a big fan. But... Why leave it in this juice shop?
           Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd? I mean, it's not like it's
           that hard to hand a gift to a pro fighter...

[Mario gets an e-mail]

Yoshi: Gonzales! E-mail time!

[Mario opens his Mailbox SP]

"SmAsH tHe BlOcKaDe In ThE minOr-LeAgUe LoCkEr RoOm."
                               FrOm X

Yoshi: "The blockade in the minor-league locker room", huh? Wonder what's
       behind it...

[Mario goes back to the Glitz Pit, and speaks to the security guard that blocks
 the door to the minor league room]

Security Guard: Ah. Gonzales, isn't it? I got the word that you wanted to move
                back down to the minor league again. Can't say I understand
                why. Anyway, go in.

[Inside the minor league room, Mario breaks a big yellow block using his new
 Super Hammer technique. Inside the room behind the wall, Mario uses Yoshi's
 help to reach a Dubious Paper. After he gets it, he reads it]

Yoshi: Whoa, Gonzales! That's some kinda scientific paper on the Crystal Stars!
       Who'd be investigating those besides us? They even took pictures!

Yoshi: Who'd leave something like this lying around? This is just REEKS of
       funny business!

[Upon leaving the room, Mario sees Jolene]

Jolene: You again... Mr. Gonzales, what are you doing in here?

Jolene: This is the minor-league locker room. Major-league athletes are
        forbidden. Even if they weren't, it's hardly appropriate to bash down
        our walls, hmmmmm?

[She walks up to Mario]

Jolene: I'll just be confiscating THIS, thank you very much.

[She takes the Dubious Paper and exits the room]

Yoshi: Dang, what's with her?!? We busted our humps getting that information!

Yoshi: Some people just gotta rain on parades! Well, at least we know the
       Crystal Star's here!

[Mario goes back to the major league room, then reserves a match. He must face
 off against the Shellshockers. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Turtles of Hurtle... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Shellshockers!

Yoshi: You think you can take me and Gonzales? HA!

Koopa Troopa: So-called Great Gonzales! Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on
              you, baby!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: That all you got?

[Suddenly, Mario sees someone in the distance]


[The Armored Harries enter the ring]

Grubba: Whoa, nelly! I don't believe my eyes, folks! The Iron Adonis Twins are
        in a rage!

Iron Cleft #1: You made us look like suckers the other day, and now you're
               gonna pay for it! Awww... A little tired from your match, Great
               Stinkwad? Too bad! Prepare for pain!

[After the battle...]

Iron Cleft #1: Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh... We lost, after all that... We reek.

Grubba: Hoooooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! That's our Great Gonzales, friends and
        neighbors! Kid don't even blink when the Iron Adonis Twins barge in and
        attack! Woo! Tough! He's too dang tough! Yeah, this kid is only bound
        for bigger things, folks! Until next time, everyone... See ya!

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 7!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Mario gets another e-mail]

Yoshi: Gonzales! Another e-mail?!? What now?

[Mario opens the Mailbox SP]

"Keep sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong and you are D-E-A-D

Yoshi: Man, THAT dude sounds peeved! I'm thinking that isn't our X buddy. Who
       do you think would send something like that?

[Mario reserves a match against the Fuzz. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Bottomless Vacuums... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Fuzz!

Yoshi: You think you can take me and Gonzales? HA!

Fuzzy: Meeeeork! Meeeeeeork! We'll suck up your SOULS! MEEEEEORK!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 6!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Mario sees a piece of cake]

Koopinator: Hey. You. Gonzales. Jolene brought you a piece of cake. From a fan,
            I guess.

[Mario examines the cake]

Yoshi: Man, that looks AWESOME! I'm drooling!

[They choose to eat the cake]

Yoshi: Yeah! Let's chow down!

"You fully recovered!"

[Mario reserves another match, against the Magikoopa Masters. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Underworld Servants... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Magikoopa Masters!

Yoshi: Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?

Magikoopa: You, fool, would do well to fear our dark magic...

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: That all you got?

[Mario notices someone]


[Bowser is shown, and he jumps onto the ring]

Grubba: Whoa! Another fighter's stormin' in, screamin' his fool head off about
        somethin'! Gonzales has lots of foes, folks! Some who don't even know
        his name! Will he live?

Bowser: Word on the street was that some mustached doofus was in Glitzville...
        and lookee here! Talk about perfect timing! And now all these folks get
        to watch me murdalize you!

[They battle]

Bowser: Gwaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha! I am gonna DESTROY you! And I have witnesses!

[After a few hits...]

Bowser: Owf! Well, I'd expect nothing less from you, Mario! Figures you'd get
        some licks in!

[Once Bowser is defeated...]


[After the battle...]

Bowser: Gruuuuuuuuuuurgh...

Grubba: Hoo! That's our Gonzales! He don't even bat an eye when some nut
        ambushes him! Tough! Yer too tough, son! And yer only gonna get
        tougher! Stay tuned, folks! Until next time, everyone... See ya!

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 5!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

Yoshi: Wow! That was the king of the Koopas, wasn't it? WOW! That guy's insane!

[Mario reserves another match, against the Craw-Daddy. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Dark Gatekeeper... Yep, a fight to the finish with

Yoshi: Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?

Dark Craw: Foolish mortals... I will drag you through the gate to the

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: That all you got?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 4!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Mario gets more mail]

Yoshi: Gonzales! Sounds like another mail, huh?

[Mario opens the Mailbox SP]

"gO tO tHe TeLePhOnE bOoTh OuT oN tHe PaViLiOn"
                          FrOm X

Yoshi: Old X dude surfaced again! We gotta go to some phone booth outside now?
       Where was that thing? Aw, we'll find it. Let's head outside!

[Outside at the hallway, they see the Rawk Hawk]

Rawk Hawk: Gonzales! Good timing, you pudgy little punk. Uncle Rawk Hawk's got
           some advice for ya. If you keep stealing the spotlight from me,
           you're gonna enter a world of hurt! Quit making such a splash, if
           you value your puny life! Harharharharharhar!

[He walks off]

Yoshi: You, you BETTER keep walking, you punk chicken! YOU HEAR ME TALKING?!?
       Hey! Wait! I wonder... You think THAT idiot sent us that hate mail? I
       guess it doesn't matter. SOMEBODY hates us so we better watch our steps.

[Mario goes outside to the phone booth, where he finds and picks up a Storage
 Key. Upon leaving, he gets more mail]

"gO tO tHe StOrAgE rOoM nExT tO gRuBbA's OfFiCe."
                          From X

Yoshi: What the heck is this guy's problem? The storage room? I mean... Does he
       think we need the excercise? This dude is really cheesing me off.

[Mario heads back to the Glitz Pit, then he sees Jolene talking to a security
 guard by the storage room]

Jolene: So you're telling me that you have no idea who got inside? What do we
        pay you for?

Security Guard: I'm awful sorry, Ms. Jolene. I heard a noise in there, but I
                couldn't find nothing...

Jolene: Hmph. Fine, leave the rest of this matter to me. Go back to your post.
        And listen to me carefully: do not EVER tell anyone of this or I'll
        have your job.

[The security guard walks off, and Jolene notices Mario]

Jolene: You! Mr. Gonzales, this is highly inappropriate! What business do you
        have here? Please, I must ask you to stay out of places where you have
        no business being.

[Jolene walks off. Mario unlocks the door to the storage room and goes inside.
 Inside is Ms. Mowz]

Ms. Mowz: Oh! Mmmmm hmm hmm hmm! We meet again, you husky mustached hunk, you.

Yoshi: Are you a friend of Gonzales? I didn't know he hung with crooks...and
       you look like one. Security was talking about noises in here... Did you
       make noise while you stole stuff?

Ms. Mowz: Oh, please! No one heard ME! I'm the best mouse-burglar of all time!
          I'm silent! It's quite obvious that someone else must have been
          monkeying about in here...

Yoshi: Well, whatever, lady... But you ARE a thief, right?

Ms. Mowz: Hush. All you need to know is I've taken what I needed and now I'll
          be on my way. As for the rest, help yourself to whatever you like.

[She walks up to Mario]

Ms. Mowz: Mm hmm hmm hmm hmm! And now, we must part again, my sweet

[She kisses him]

Yoshi: Is that what's called a kiss? I heard about those things! I'm jealous!
       Only you get it?

Ms. Mowz: I almost forgot, my sweet... This arena holds many secrets, you know.
          You should be very careful, lest you end up like those poor souls
          upstairs. And with that, good-bye, my delectable hunk of cheese! We
          shall meet again!

[Ms. Mowz leaves]

Yoshi: Well, she took off, huh? What was that kiss like? I gotta get me one of
       those... Hey, but what do you think she meant about somebody being
       upstairs, huh?

[Mario gets mail]

"finD tHe StAiRcAsE sWiTcH tO rEaCh ThE aTtiIc."
                             From X

Yoshi: "The staircase switch"? How the heck could there be a staircase in here?

[Mario finds the switch that creates a staircase, then he heads upstairs and
 finds a big block to the left. He breaks it and drops down the hole in the
 floor. Inside, he peeks through a hole where Grubba's office is shown]

Grubba: ...So you didn't find hide or hair of nobody in the storage room, that
        what yer sayin'?

Jolene: Yes, Mr. Grubba. It appeared to be secure. Don't worry about it, sir.
        I've taken the nessecary precautions. It was most likely just a rat or

Grubba: Well, no big deal either way. Ain't nothin' in there we'd miss too much
        anyway. Thanks fer stayin' on top of this, Jolene. Hey, an' by the way,
        any word on King K?

Jolene: I'm afraid we still don't know the whereabouts of King K, Mr. Grubba.
        And so... I deleted his spot on our roster per regulations. The Glitz
        Pit no longer has any official connection to KP Pete, a.k.a King K. I
        have, of course, taken the same steps with all fighters who have gone

Grubba: Hoo, fighters sure have been goin' missin' a lot lately! That's the
        fifth this year! What in tarnation's goin' on? I even heard some
        security ijit sayin' the Pit's cursed!

Jolene: I doubt that sir, but I certainly don't understand the disappearances.

Grubba: Well, fer the time bein', tell the other fellas that King K headed on
        home for a spell. If word gets out about missin' fighters, it sure
        ain't gonna be good for business, no siree! Nasty rumors have a way of
        sendin' folks runnin' to the hills, know what I mean?

Jolene: I understand completely, Mr. Grubba. I will take care of everything,

[Jolene goes to leave]

Grubba: Y'know, Jolene... Yer a dang fine manager, but you just plumb
        disappear sometimes... I gotta know! Where in the world do you go,

Jolene: Uh... Th-That's... Mr. Grubba, I know you're my boss, but I don't
        believe that's any of your business.

Grubba: Easy! Didn't mean to pry, now! How 'bout this, then... Heard of the
        Crystal Star?

Jolene: !

Jolene: N-No... I've never heard of such a thing, Mr. Grubba.

Grubba: Okeydoke, well, I 'preciate yer time, Ms. Jolene. You go ahead an' run
        along, now, y'hear?

[Jolene leaves]

Grubba: Well, if this ain't a fine how-do-you-do! Seems like good fighters are
        a dyin' breed. That wild child Gonzales is just about the only draw I
        still got 'round here.

[Back in the attic...]

Yoshi: Whoa, Gonzales! WHOA! Did you hear that?!? Fighters are going missing,
       dude! That ain't cool! Was that guy talking about King K, the
       minor-leaguer? I thought he retired!

[Mario nods]

Grubba: What in the hey?!? Dang cellin' is spookin' me! HEY! Somebody up there?

 - Squeak!
 - Meow!
 - Belch!

[The outcome is the same either way. This guide will go by the sentence Grubba
 says if you select "Squeak!"]

Grubba: ...Hoo, nelly! Just a little ol' mouse... Here I am, thinkin' someone's
        up there a-peepin'! I gotta relax...take some yoga classes or
        somethin'... Yep. Well, back to the ring!

[Grubba leaves. Back at the attic...]

Yoshi: Whoa! Whoa, man! We dodged a bullet there! Hey, but did you hear that
       guy blabbing about the Crystal Star? That Jolene lady acted pretty
       guilty when he let that one slip out... Well, whatever. For now, we
       better bail before somebody finds us up here!

[They escape the attic, then Mario goes back to the major league room and
 reserves anohter match, against Hamma, Bamma and Flare. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Big Bad Brute Bros... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with Hamma, Bamma, and Flare!

Yoshi: You think you can take me and Gonzales? HA!

Hammer Bro: My grandpappy's hammer is gonna strike you down, man! Here it

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 3!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves, and Mario gets mail]

"This is your last warning! Stop snooping around about the Crystal Star! If you
 don't, you'll suffer the same fate as the other fighters who have gone

Yoshi: This guy really needs to take a chill pill. He sure knows a lot,
       though... He's going on about the Crystal Star, the missing fighters,
       all that stuff... I tell you what, we find this guy, we'll have all the
       answers we need! But who is this psycho?

[Mario reserves another match, against the Chomp Country. Jolene suddenly walks

Jolene: Pardon me, Mr. Gonzales. Another gift arrived from one of your
        admirers. I'll just leave it over here, if that's OK? Do with it what
        you will.

[It's another cake. Mario and Yoshi ignore it and continue to the ring]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Red Ore Fear Orbs... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with Chomp Country!

Yoshi: Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?

Chain Chomp: ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 2!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves]

Yoshi: By the way, Gonzales... You see the dude on the floor back here?

Koopa Troopa: Bluuurgh... Body...went...numb... Stupid...cake... Hate...cake...

Yoshi: Was that cake poisoned? Yeah! It must've been! If we'd eaten it, we'd be
       all banged up like that guy!

[Mario reserves another match, against the Koopinator. At the ring...]

Grubba: Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT
        GONZALES and... The Razor Blade Brigadier... Yep, a fight to the finish
        with The Koopinator!

Yoshi: Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?

Koopinator: You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly

Grubba: Get yerselves ready to...BAAAAAATTLE!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

[Back at the major league room...]

Jolene: Here's your fight money, Mr. Gonzales.

"You received [amount] coins! Mario's rank rose to 1!"

Jolene: Now, if you'll excuse me... I must be going.

[Jolene leaves and Mario gets mail]

Yoshi: Ding ding ding! Mail call! You think it's from our pal or the guy who
       hates us?

"rEmOvE tHe GrEaT gOnZaLeS pOsTeRs In ThE lObBy."
                                FrOm X

Yoshi: From X this time, huh? That guy still sounds like a nut, but hey, he's
       all we got! What's he want us to do, again? Peel off your posters in the
       lobby? Sounds good to me. Let's hit the lobby.

[They go to the lobby and with Flurrie's help, peel off the posters on the
 wall. They find another Storage Key behind one of them]

Yoshi: Whoa! Where do you think THAT key goes?

[Mario gets mail]

"gO tO tHe SeCoNd FlOoR oF tHe StOrAgE rOoM."
                             FrOm X

[Mario goes back to the storage room and to the second floor, then he unlocks a
 door using the Storage Key. Inside, he smashes a big yellow block, and behind
 the block, they find Bandy Andy and King K. They're on the ground, with barely
 any energy left]

Yoshi: WHOOOOOOAAAAA! You gotta be kidding me! Bandy Andy! And King K!

[Mario talks to King K, but he doesn't respond. He then talks to Bandy Andy]

Bandy Andy: Gon... Gon... Gonzales... Listen...to me...URK!...man... Don't...

Yoshi: C'mon, shake it off, buddy! What do you mean, don't go near the ring?

[As they go to leave, they notice Jolene who was peeking through the door]

Yoshi: Gonzales! You see that?!? That was Jolene! This is craziness! What is
       going ON in here?

[Mario goes to the major league room and reserves a match]

Grubba: The Great Gonzales! Howdy! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk
        hyuk! Well, guess what? Your next match is...THE TITLE MATCH!
        Hoooo-WEEEEE! Darn tootin'! You're up against the champ, Rawk Hawk!
        Now, I wanna see a fair an' excitin' match, so don't you let me down,
        now, you hear? Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to use at
        least one special move, OK? The crowd needs somethin' flashy, you catch
        my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get in there an' blow the roof off,

[Mario is led out of the room by the security guard, but he's going a different
 way than usual]

Yoshi: Hold up, dude! Where are you heading? That ain't the way to the arena!

Security Guard: Yeah, uh, you go this way this time 'cause it's a special

[They are lead down the hallway]

Yoshi: Hey, hold it, meathead! This doesn't seem right...

[They are carried to a run down locker room]

Security Guard: You two wait here.

[They are confused. The guard leaves]

Yoshi: Hey! This ain't the ring! It's a minor-league locker room! And it's
       empty! That guy said to wait... But, dude, we're missing our title bout!
       This stinks!

[Meanwhile, at the ring...]

Grubba: Now fer today's main event! The top dog of the major league... The
        Great Gonzales...

Grubba: ...Is finally gonna throw down with the champ! The one...the only...
        RAWK HAWK!

Grubba: First to enter the ring... The Feral Nuclear Reactor! RAAAAAWWWK

[The Rawk Hawk enters, and his fans cheer for him]

Grubba: Hooooo, DOGGIES! Champ! How're you feelin', son? Yer challenger's a

Rawk Hawk: He don't want a handful of THIS! Unh-unh! There's only one champ...
           and it's ME! Even if this Gonzales wuss ever shows up, what's he
           gonna do, huh? NOTHING!

Grubba: But the Great Gonzales made it to the top of the majors faster than
        anyone, ever! He even got up there faster than YOU did, Champ! What you
        got to say about that?

Rawk Hawk: What do I have to say? PBBBBBBBTTHHHHBBTH! THAT'S what! Who cares
           what this guy did to a bunch of chumps?!? 'Cause now he gets RAWKED!

[Back at the empty locker room...]

Yoshi: OK, that is IT! Nobody's coming for us, man! Hear me? Let's go kick some

[Yoshi tries to get out, but the door is locked]

Yoshi: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... WEAK! Some punk's locked us in! We're trapped in

[Back at the ring...]

Grubba: And now for our challenger... The Merciless Executioner... THE GRRREAT

[No one enters]

Grubba: ...Hold the phone, folks! What the hey's going on? What happened to the
        Great Gonzales?!?

Rawk Hawk: Harharharharharharhar! I'll tell you what happened! He fears the

Grubba: Hoo-WEE! What a stupefyin' development, folks! Did the Great Gonzales
        really turn yella an' head fer the hills like a dog?!? I tell you what,
        folks... If he don't show soon, he's a-gonna forfeit the match!

[Back at the locker room...]

Yoshi: Man, this is the WORST! We're gonna forfeit our match if we don't show!
       We gotta break outta here, man! Right now!

[They find a Peach poster on the wall. Flurrie blows it away to reveal a secret
 entrance to another locker room. In that locker room, they find a door that
 takes them to a toilet. They go down the toilet like a pipe. The security
 guards in the hallway hear the water, and Mario appears out of a toilet in
 another locker room]

Yoshi: Dude, I have got SO much respect for plumbers now! Now let's get Rawk

[They continue out of the locker room and to the arena]

Grubba: The moment you been waitin' for, folks! The Great Gonzales just entered
        the arena!

[People cheer for Mario]

Yoshi: Looks like we made it, dude! And the crowd is LOVING US! We are STARS,
       baby! Come on, let's go lay the smack down on that big chicken!

[Mario and Yoshi enter the ring]

Grubba: Just listen to this crowd hoot 'n' holler fer the challenger, Great
        Gonzales! Will his hamer of hurt 'n' harm be enough to rock the Rawk
        Hawk's socks? Now, at long last, the battle to end all battles is here!
        Let's keep it clean, boys!

[They battle]

Yoshi: All right, Gonzales! We're fighting the champ! I'M...SO...FIRED...UP!

Rawk Hawk: Harharharharharhar! You wimps should've stayed locked up, safe and

Yoshi: What kind of trash-talking are you doing now? Wait... Did YOU get that
       security guard to lock us in the locker room?

Rawk Hawk: You're darn right I did! I also sent you that poisoned cake,
           suckers! That's what happens when you mess with me, baby! You meet
           the pain train!

Yoshi: So YOU'RE the coward who's been sending nasty e-mails about the Crystal

Rawk Hawk: Huh? I have no idea what you're babbling about now. What's a Crystal
           Star? No, wait... I DON'T CARE! I may not play exactly fair, but I
           got skills, punks! And now, you're about to meet 'em all, baby!
           Prepare to be RAAAAAAAAWKED!

[After a few hits...]

Rawk Hawk: Pbbbth! Not too shabby! You're better than I thought. This may
           actually be fun! Don't get your head swelled, though, 'cause you got
           a ways to go! Check this out!


[He does a flying attack at Mario. After a few hits...]

Rawk Hawk: Man, you're kinda annoying! How DARE you turn the Rawk back on the
           Hawk?!? I should've just taken care of you before the battle. I'm
           getting lazy, I guess. Well, since it's come down to this, I guess I
           got no choice but to...

[He makes a beam come down, then he jumps on it and makes many objects fall
 onto Mario. After he takes even more hits...]

Rawk Hawk: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Bah! I've only just begun to RAAAAAWWWWWWK!

[After he's defeated...]

           The undefeated master... I've lost to...such losers...

[After the battle...]

Rawk Hawk: Yuuuuuurgh...

Grubba: Folks, I feel like my eyes just popped outta my head! We got ourselves
        a miracle! Technique versus technique! Raw power verus raw power! A
        clash of superhumans! Folks, this was truly, honestly, without
        question, no doubt, absolutely... The most legendary, amazin',
        improbable, history-makin' bout of all TIME! And the victor in this
        match fer the ages was... THE GRRRREAT GONZAAALES! Congratulations,
        Gonzales! Yer the champion, son!! Give him a hand, folks! The new Glitz
        Pit champ! THE GRRRRREAT GONZALES!

[Back at the major league room...]

Grubba: Well, you finally did it, son! Today's yer first day as the new champ!
        Here's yer belt!

[Grubba gives Mario the Champ's Belt]

Grubba: Tell you what: I'm gonna go ahead an' get you set up in the champ's
        room right away. Ms. Jolene, be a peach an' show Gonzales here the
        champion's room, OK?

Jolene: Absolutely, sir. Well then, Mr. Champion... Would you follow me,

[Mario follows Jolene down the hallway to the champion's room]

Jolene: Congratulations again, Mr. Champion. From now on, this is where you'll
        stay. It's your room now, so make yourself at home. You will use the
        terminal as you always have, of course. Will there be anything else?
        Well then, have a nice day, Mr. Champion.

[Jolene leaves]

Yoshi: YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! We finally made it, Gonzales! But... Y'know,
       Rawk Hawk really sounded clueless about the Crystal Star... We still
       don't have any leads on that thing. I mean, where the heck could it be?

[Yoshi hears something]

Yoshi: Hang on, Gonzales! You hear that? A voice is coming from somewhere!

[Mario also hears it]

Yoshi: You think it's...a ghost?

[He gets an e-mail]

Yoshi: H-H-H-Hey! Do you HAVE to have that thing turned up? That scared me

"finD tHe GhOsT iN tHe ChAmP's RoOm."
                        FrOm X

Yoshi: There's actually a ghost in here? OK, that is NOT cool! Ghosts are

[Using Yoshi's help, Mario reaches a vent. He uses the Super Hammer to break
 off the covering, then he goes inside]

Yoshi: We're in the air duct, right? Where does it lead?

[As they move closer...]

Grubba: Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, THAT'S in perfect condition, as usual! Yep,
        long as I got THAT baby workin' for me, this ol' bod ain't NEVER gonna
        get weak! But I'm gonna have to watch my tootsies here fer a little
        bit... First I let that King K ijit walk in on me when I was with...
        THAT... An' now I can't shake the feelin' that Jolene an' Gonzales are
        onto me... Well, I guess I'll burn that bridge when the time comes.
        I'll just disappear 'em! Yep, just like I did to them others...like I
        did to Prince Mush, the first champ!

Yoshi: That voice... It's Grubba! So HE'S behind all those missing fighters?

Grubba: I better lock this room up tighter 'n a peanut butter jar at a squirrel
        convention. An' I'll just go ahead an' hide the paper relatin' to THAT
        in the desk drawer...

Grubba: There we go! Y'know what, though? Since I'm thinkin' aloud, here...
        Good fighters ain't nothin' to mess with. Even Rawk Hawk lost to
        Gonzales. This new champ might have to disappear purty soon. For my

[Mario breaks down the covering at the end of the vent, then goes through. It
 leads to Grubba's office]

Yoshi: I think he's gone... Let's check out that desk drawer of his...

[They check out the drawer]

Yoshi: Whoa! Bingo! I bet that's the paper ol' Grubba hid! Check it out, Mario!

[They read the paper]

Yoshi: Yow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the
       blueprints! I dunno what the rest of this nerd-talk says, but I think
       the Crystal Star powers it! If this paper's right, then the machine can
       suck the power out of people! Yuck! Oh, crud... You think that King K
       and Bandy Andy got all...drained or something?

[Grubba walks in]

Grubba: GREAT GALLOPIN' GULPITS! How in tarnation did YOU get in here, son?
        Well, slap me an' call me Sassafras! Yer starin' at my secret paper,

Yoshi: Shut up! You make me sick! Why'd you drain King K and Bandy Andy, huh?

Grubba: Whoa, nelly! This ain't good!

[Grubba leaves in haste]

Yoshi: After him, Gonzales!

[Mario and Yoshi head to the arena, which is completely empty. They get onto
 the ring]

Grubba: I gotta say, y'all are a coupla slack-jawed idiots, sniffin' 'round my
        business... Now you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to
        take a li'l ol' dirt nap.

[The ring rumbles, and the middle of the ring lowers. Then, Grubba comes back
 up in a big machine with the Crystal Star stuck in the top]

Yoshi: Gonzales! Up there! That's the Crystal Star, right?

Grubba: Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice,
        huh? Yep, I've been suckin' power from fighters with this baby!
        SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP! Yer darn tootin'! An' you know why? 'Cause
        it keeps my bod forever young, son!

Yoshi: You are such a scumbag! You're gonna pay for using a Crystal Star like

Grubba: Oh, just shut yer traps, now! I'll use MY Crystal Star however I dang

[Grubba transforms and becomes a giant orange creature, Macho Grubba]


Yoshi: Yow! Grubba beefed up!

Macho Grubba: Hoo-wee! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole an' snack on
              YER energy, too!

[The fight commences]

Macho Grubba: MAAAACHO! I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin' li'l pieces of
              prairie piffle! So long's I have this here machine, my bod'll be
              rough, tough, an' ultrabuff!

Yoshi: Let's rock, Gonzales! I'm ready to chew this dude up and spit him out!

[After a few hits...]

Macho Grubba: Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle, Gonzales!
              Keep on scrappin', son! 'Course, it ain't gonna do you much good
              in the end...

[After some more hits...]

Macho Grubba: Not too shabby, Gonzales! You got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in
              this biz! But this here battle's just gettin' started! It's time
              I showed you some real moves! Back in the day, I had so many
              rump-kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!

[Macho Grubba grows much bigger in size, and the fight continues. As the fight
 continues on...]

Macho Grubba: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I ain't finished yet, Gonzales!!! Ain't
              over 'til it's over! That's the way it goes in combat sports,
              son! And lemme tell you somethin': fortune's gonna smile on me in
              the end, punk!

[Once he's defeated...]

Macho Grubba: YAAAAARGH!

[After the battle...]

Grubba: Noooo... How'd this happen? How could a perfect bod like mine lose to
        such a chub? Oh...Great...Gonzales... Great fight, there, son. Great...
        fight. Urrrrrrrrgh...

Voice: Mr. Champion!

[Jolene enters]

Jolene: ...No, I mean...Mario. Please allow me to offer my earnest thanks for
        defeating that foul Grubba.

Yoshi: Jolene!

Jolene: I really have to apologize... I'm so sorry that I had to get you
        involved... But you must understand... I had to learn the truth about
        this arena by any means.

Jolene: Let me tell you everything. I had a little brother once, by the name of
        Mush. He'd have done anything for me. Our family was always poor, so he
        became a fighter here to support all of us... But he suddenly went
        missing one day. Our family was inconsolable. I suspected foul play, so
        I gothired on as the manager and investigated in secret. As I looked
        for clues about my brother, I accidently saw Mr. Grubba transform.
        Seeing what I was up against, I almost gave up hope...and then you
        appeared. So I decided to secretly guide you.

Yoshi: Ah-ha! So, our X buddy was...

Jolene: Correct... It was me. Once I saw you fight, I knew you were the only
        one who could challenge Grubba.

[She gets on the ring, and walks up to Grubba]

Jolene: Now, sir...

Jolene: ...No! Not "sir"! Grubba! I want answers, right NOW! What did you do
        with my precious little brother? You know exactly what I'm talking
        about! The first champion: PRINCE MUSH!

Grubba: Urrrgh... Prince Mush... He... He...discovered the secret of my...
        power-suckin' machine... I had him...urgh...disappear. Any which way
        you look at it...oooog...he ain't around these parts no more.

Jolene: ...No! I...suspected as much... Oh... Poor, sweet Mush...

Yoshi: Boy, I thought she was kinda mean, but it turns out she was just worried
       for her brother!

[Yoshi notices something]

Yoshi: Wow! Check it out, Gonzales! The Crystal Star!

[The Crystal Star is shown, and Prince Mush is shot out of the machine]

Prince Mush: Whoa... Is this... Am I back in the Glitz Pit?

Jolene: MUSH!!!

[She walks over to mush]

Prince Mush: Oh... Is that really you, Sis? What are you doing here? I... I
             was just...

Jolene: There, there, Mush. It's OK. It's all over...finally...

Yoshi: Is THAT what Crystal Stars can do?

Jolene: Now, Mario...the Crystal Star is yours.

[The machine deactivates, and the Crystal Star falls out]

Yoshi: Whoa! Are you sure? It's OK if we just take it?

Jolene: It's better that you have it...so that nothing like this will ever
        happen again.

Yoshi: It's all you, Gonzales! Nab it, dude!

[Mario takes the third Crystal Star, ending the third chapter]

"You got a Crystal Star! Your Star Power is now 4! And Mario learned the
 special move Power Lift!"

"Glitzville's seamy underside was a dark, dangerous place seething with
 conspiracy... With the help of the lovely Ms. Jolene, Mario revealed
 Grubba's true identity... And acquired the third Crystal Star by defeating the
 monstrous Macho Grubba. Grubba had used the power of the Crystal Star to run
 his power-draining machine... What other hidden powers might these strange and
 mystical items possess?"


Peach's Event #3 [PCH3]

[At Grodus's chamber...]

Grodus: Beldam... Tell me, what good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of
        that Mario character?

Beldam: Well, yes, sorry, but... Only because he's tougher than we thought at

Grodus: You do understand that we X-Nauts must open the door first, do you not?

Beldam: Mweee hee hee hee hee... Well, rest assured that I will defenitely nail
        him next time. We have prepared a weapon that will bring him to a quick
        and certain end.

Grodus: I trust your words...though I rapidly lose my patience.

Beldam: Just leave it to us, sire. Mweee hee hee hee hee...

Beldam: Let's away, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian!

[Beldam leaves]

Marilyn: Ugghh...guh.

[Marilyn leaves]

Vivian: ...

[Vivian leaves. Back at Peach's room...]

Princess Peach: Mmm... No doubt about it, I'm officially bored.

Princess Peach: Those awful X-things haven't been back to ask about the map...
                I wonder...is it safe?

[The door leading to the hallway opens]

Princess Peach: Oh, my... That must be TEC again...

[She continues into TEC's room]

TEC: Hello, Princess Peach.

Princess Peach: You always call me in without warning, TEC. What is it this

[She walks up to TEC]

TEC: I apologize. I would like you to go to where Sir Grodus is and ask him

Princess Peach: What? What do you mean, go ask?

TEC: I recently obtained specific information that brought an...issue to my

Princess Peach: You ARE the main computer here, right? Why is there anything
                you don't know?

TEC: I am unable to know things that are not entered in my CPU or otherwise
     recorded. That is why I want to know what Sir Grodus is thinking about
     this issue.

Princess Peach: But...even if I try to go see him, they'll catch me and send me
                back to the room!

TEC: That is true. But you will find a soldier's room one floor up. Take the
     elevator. Once there, please obtain a soldier's uniform and change into
     it, avoiding detection. You will go see Sir Grodus looking like a soldier.

Princess Peach: *annoyed* You mean I'll be disguised. .........................
                I imagine you won't take NO for an answer, will you?

TEC: You imagine correctly.

Princess Peach: All right... Fine, I guess. Well, so what do you want me to go
                ask this Grodus?

TEC: I will tell you...

[Peach exits the room]

Princess Peach: What in the world is TEC thinking? I mean, honestly! He sure is
                a weird computer.

[She walks up to the elevator, and it opens]

Princess Peach: Oh! Is that the elevator he wanted me to go in?

[She enters it and is taken to the upper floor]

TEC: Please wait just a moment. There are currently soldiers in the vicinity.

Princess Peach: Huh?

[An X-Naut walks by]

TEC: Now, Princess Peach. It's the room with the green lamp very near where you
     disembark the elevator.

[She exits the elevator and finds an unlocked door, which she enters]

TEC: Please change here. Quickly. The soldier's uniform should be in a locker.

[She opens some lockers and finds an X-Naut uniform]

Princess Peach: Hmm? Oh! Is this the uniform? Am I supposed to wear this thing?

TEC: Yes. That is correct.

[She takes the uniform and goes into a dressing room]

Princess Peach: Urrrgh... OOOOOF! I don't know about this... It's awfully
                tight. And it kind of smells a bit...

[She puts it on]

Princess Peach: Phew! Who knows how, but I got into it. I can barely breathe,

[She exits the dressing room, looking just like an X-Naut]

Princess Peach: I bet I look perfect.

[She continues into Grodus's lair, and speaks with him]

Princess Peach: Excuse me... Sir Grodus?

Grodus: Yes, what is it? Speak!

Princess Peach: Er, well... It's about Princess Peach... What do you plan to do
                with her going forward?

Grodus: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Something is wrong with...your voice, X-Naut.

[She is scared]

Grodus: Perhaps I have a throat lozenge... No. Well, never mind. Oh, about
        Princess Peach? I have no interest in what that woman has to say. Just
        keep her locked in the room. But don't ever, EVER treat her roughly.
        You uderstand? Tell the others as well.

[He goes to walk off]

Princess Peach: But... Uh, why... Why in the world are we keeping her here,

Grodus: That's none of your business! Don't forget your place, you impudent
        worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I
        require of you. We X-Nauts need that treasure to conquer the world!
        Don't forget it!

Princess Peach: Conquer...the world? Legendary...treasure?

Grodus: What are you blathering about now? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Something IS
        odd about you...

Princess Peach: N... No... Nothing odd! Uh, so...roger, or whatever. P-Please
                excuse me.

[She leaves and goes back to the locker room]

Princess Peach: Oooh... That was unnerving...

Princess Peach: All that stuff about conquering the world... Talk about creepy.
                I wonder if that has anything to do with collecting those
                Crystal Stars.

[She goes back to the dressing room]

Princess Peach: Off with this thing!

[She puts back on her dress and exits the dressing room]

Princess Peach: Whew! Good old pink dress. My favorite. Why would I ever wear
                anything different? I'd better get back quickly.

[She goes back to TEC's room]

Princess Peach: TEC! You terrible machine! So your goal is to conquer the
                world, is it?

[She walks up to him]

TEC: Of course. After all, I was built for that purpose.

Princess Peach: Conquering the world... How could you...

TEC: Princess Peach, allow me to ask you something. Do you like the world you
     live in? There are many problems in the world, many sorrows. Do you like
     such a world?

Princess Peach: Of course I do! Nobody likes everything about the world, but I
                love the good parts! There are many sorrows, sure...but there
                is also joy.

TEC: ...Is that so.

Princess Peach: Tell me! Will the Crystal Stars help you conquer the world? And
                what's this treasure?

TEC: I am afraid I cannot answer. Answering those questions is prohibited by
     Sir Grodus.

Princess Peach: Well... But... Oh, never mind. I must at least inform Mario
                about this awful plan for world domination... TEC. Let me use
                your communicator.

TEC: ........................................ I suppose I can allow that.
     Please use the communicator.

[Peach writes a message to Mario]

Princess Peach: Send it this instant!

[TEC sends the message]

TEC: The message hs been sent. Well then, Princess Peach. You have had a busy
     day. Go back to the room, please.

Princess Peach: Oh... OK.

[She walks to the door, looks at TEC for a moment, then walks out]

TEC: Good night, Princess Peach.


Bowser's Event #3 [BWS3]

[The Punies notice Bowser entering the Great Tree]

Puni: Th-That thing's...humongous! Everybody!!! HIDE!!! NOW!!! Save yourselves!

[The Punies run away]

Bowser: Stupid, cheating Mario... Who would've thought that fool would be in

Kammy Koopa: Did you say something, Your Rudeness?

Bowser: Uh, no! Nothing at all, as far as you know!

Bowser: Hey! Did you see those little bite-size shrimps? What were those

Kammy Koopa: Those were some Punies. One of them should know about the Crystal
             Star... They fear you, so they're all hiding. Let's find them all
             and get the info we need.

[Bowser examines a bush, and suddenly the elder Puni scares him]

Elder Puni: BEGONE!


Elder Puni: You're one of them, aren't you? One of the evildoers! You want our
            Crystal Star!

Kammy Koopa: Ha! See?!? I KNEW it! This ugly thing knows where the Crystal Star
             is! Tell us!

[She grows big and scares Kammy]

Elder Puni: How RUDE! "Ugly thing"? How DARE you, you wretched crone? I am the
            great Puni elder!

Kammy Koopa: EEEEEEEEEP! My heart! Don't startle me like that! I'm too old for
             this stuff!

[Bowser is thinking...]

 - (You're BOTH too old! HAR!)
 - (It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!)

[The outcome is the exact same regardless of your choice]

Bowser: . . . . . .

Kammy Koopa: ...Ahem! Uh, yes, Lord Bowser? You look as if you're just dying to
             say something!

Bowser: Uh... Nope! Nothing!

Bowser: Let's move on, shall we? You! Elder hag-thing! Where's the Crystal
        Star? And don't try pulling rank again: your answer, not your age, will
        determine your fate!

Elder Puni: Hmph! "Hag-thing"? Honestly! In any case, you're too late! The
            Crystal Star is gone!

Bowser: Huh-WHAT?!?

Elder Puni: That's right, you rude thing! We gave it to a mustachioed man named
            Marty-o! He said he was collecting the legendary treasures to
            rescue some princess... What did he call her? Princess Pinch? Yep!
            He was off to save that lucky lass!

Kammy Koopa: It's "MARIO"! Not "MARTY-O"! And it's not "Princess Pinch"! Her
             name is "Princess PEACH"! ...But your senility is beside the
             point! The princess and the treasures must be connected! Mario's
             trying to get it all! Treasures, princesses... Does his greed
             never end?

Bowser: That jackal! Both Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars belong to me! To
        MEEEEE!!! If I find him, I'm going to finish him off once and for all!
        I SWEAR IT!


Before Chapter Four [BFC4]


[At the main room of the Glitz Pit...]

Jolene: So now you must leave...

[Mario nods]

Jolene: I understand. If you must, you must. We won't delay you. I hope you
        succeed in finding the rest of the Crystal Stars. Good luck!

Rawk Hawk: Gonzales, I wanna tell you... Rawk Hawk ain't gonna fight dirty
           anymore. I'm gonna hit the weights, take some vitamins, and win the
           title fair and square! And I'm never, EVER gonna lose again!
           Remember: when life rocks you, RAWK BACK!

King K: Listen, G-money... Thanks for everything, man. You're the nicest dude I
        ever met, and if you ever need it, I got your back. Me, I think I'm
        gonna chill here and improve my skills. King K's back, baby! And it's
        all thanks to you, dog! You're my boy, Mario!

Jolene: Now that Grubba's out of the picture, I'm going to take over running
        the Glitz Pit. If you ever decide to return to the ring, just come
        back! I'll keep your spot open. You have tons of fans, and they'd
        absolutely love it if you made a comeback! Anyway, think it over, OK?
        And travel safe!

[Mario and the others leave]

Yoshi: Sweet! Another Crystal Star! That's three, right? We'd better roll back
       to Rogueport, don't you think?

[They go back to Rogueport]



[On their way back to the Rogueport Sewers, Mario gets some mail]

Yoshi: Gonzales! You got an e-mail!

"Dearest Mario, I have uncovered something terrible. These things...the
 X-Nauts... They're planning to take control of the world! It's to that end
 that they're searching for the Crystal Stars. I still don't know what the
 Crystal Stars do, but you must try to get them all... I will gather what
 information I can..."
                           -Princess Peach-

Yoshi: Those dude's wanna rule the world? That would stink!

[Mario and the others continue to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

[At the Thousand-Year Door, Mario stands on the pedestal in front of it and
 holds up the third Crystal Star. The location of the fourth one is recorded on
 the Magical Map]

"The location of a Crystal Star has been recorded on your Magical Map!"

Yoshi: Hey! That shows where the fourth Crystal Star is! Can't that Frankly guy
       read it? That'd be cool, but first we better tell him what Princess
       Peach's e-mail said, right?!?

[They go back to Rogueport]



[At Frankly's office...]

Professor Frankly: WHAAAT???

Professor Frankly: The group that kidnapped Princess Peach is bent on total
                   world conquest?

Yoshi: Uh-huh! You got THAT right! That's why those jerks need that legendary

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... This doesn't bode well. The situation has gotten far
                   more serious than I thought!

Professor Frankly: Let me bring you up to speed. I've been researching just
                   what this treasure could be... One book I came across held
                   to what I thought was a preposterous theory... This book
                   claimed that the "treasure" was, in actuality, the great
                   cataclysm. ...The very cataclysm that, a thousand years ago,
                   sank that town underground!

Yoshi: So these jerks think the power of that cataclysm will help them rule the

Professor Frankly: I can't say for sure what they will do or why, but we must
                   consider the possibility. Now that things have come to this,
                   we mustn't let them near the legendary treasure. That's all
                   that matters. Because if they do get it, then once again,
                   this town... No...the ENTIRE WORLD could be destroyed!

Yoshi: Then out with it, Prof! We gotta find that next Crystal Star,

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... According to the map, it appears the next Crystal
                   Star is in Twilight Town.

Yoshi: Twilight Town?

Professor Frankly: To tell you the truth, I don't know much about the place,
                   myself. Only rumors. I have heard that, as the name implies,
                   it's perpetually dim and eerie there. ...Wait just a

[Frankly takes a book]

Professor Frankly: Ah-HA! There appears to be a pipe to Twilight Town somewhere
                   here in Rogueport. I do believe it's somewhere underneath
                   the west part of town. Yes, defenitely. If you get stuck for
                   any reason, just come back and see me again, OK?

Yoshi: Under the ground in the west part of town? Check! Gotcha, Prof! C'mon,
       Gonzales! Let's go! Time to break out!

[Mario and the others go to the Rogueport Sewers from the western side of town]


Rogueport Sewers

[They find a brown pipe which leads to Twilight Town. Upon entering it, they're
 spit right back up]

"The pipe rejected you!"

[Then, they go back to Rogueport]



[Mario and the others go to Frankly's office. Inside...]

Yoshi: Yo, Prof! We found your pipe, and that thing's all stopped up! We tried
       and tried, but we can't break through it! Got any drain cleaner?

Professor Frankly: What? You can't get through the pipe, you say? How odd...
                   Hrmm... I'm afraid I haven't the foggiest idea of what you
                   should do.

[He stops for a moment, then gets an idea]

Professor Frankly: Oh! Of course! I've heard that a fellow from Twilight Town
                   lives here in Rogueport. If anybody knows how to get through
                   the pipe, it'll be him. His name was, uh... Dang. What was
                   it? Ah, yes! The lover of dark places! DARKLY! I've seen him
                   loitering right here in this part of town in the past. Look
                   for Darkly!

[Mario searches around a back alley, then finds Darkly]

Darkly: Hi there! The name's Darkly. Do you guys need something?

[Mario responds]

Darkly: Huh? You want to know how to get through the pipe to Twilight Town?

[Mario nods]

Darkly: Couldn't be easier! You just need to have something that has your name
        written on it. Don't you have anything that has your name written on
        it? C'mon, everyone does!

[Mario responds]

Darkly: No? Really? OK. Hang on. I'll write it for you. What's your name?

[Mario responds]

Darkly: Mario, huh? OK... I'll write it here on the seat of your overalls.
        M-A-R-I-O, right?

[Darkly writes his name on him]

Darkly: There! Perfect-a-mundo! While I'm at it, I'll write your partner's
        name, too. *to the partner* What's your name?

Yoshi: Yoshi, baby!

[He writes his name on him]

Yoshi: Hey! Watch where you're drawing, buddy!

Darkly: I don't know what errand is taking you to Twilight Town, but I hope it
        goes well. I'll be rooting for you!

[Mario and the others go back to the Rogueport Sewers, and to the pipe that
 leads to Twilight Town. This time, it lets them enter]


Chapter 4: For Pigs the Bell Tolls [CHP4]

Twilight Town

Yoshi: Ugh, this place gives me the creeps. Is this Twilight Town?

Villager: Hey...

[He walks up to Mario]

Villager: It's been a long time since anyone's come from...outside. You've come
          from far away?

[Mario nods]

Villager: Yeah, those clothes of yours... I'm pretty sure you guys must be...
          adventurers! Right? This is a bad time to arrive. Wait, but you're
          adventurers! ...Maybe it's the perfect time.

Yoshi: Wait, what? "A bad time"? What do you mean by that? C'mon! Tell me!

Villager: Oh, gee whiz, I dunno... It's a scary tale to hear. And scary to
          tell, too.

[A bell rings]

Villager: Oh no! The bell rang again! Oh... This is so awful... Who could it be

[He turns into a pig]

Yoshi: Whoa! That was the craziest thing I've ever seen! What's going on in
       this weirdo town?

Voice: Oh, badness... Now poor Freddy got turned into a pig... Not good.

[The mayor walks up to Mario]

Yoshi: Who are you, Gramps?

Old Man: I'm the mayor of this poor town. Some call me Dour. I'm not exactly
         the sharpest fellow, but I do believe you're adventurers, right? This
         isn't the place for the telling of tales, sadly. Come. Come to my

[He walks off, and Mario and Yoshi follow him into his house]

Dour: My traveling friends... Welcome to Twilight Town. Well, I'd LIKE to
      welcome you... But "welcoming" people is generally a good thing, and it's
      nothing but bad here.

[Mario responds]

Dour: As you may have guessed...our town has been cursed.

Yoshi: Whoa! Cursed?!?

Dour: Yes, cursed. That is the right word, right? Yes, of course it is. You
      see... Beyond town is a forest, and in its heart is an ancient building,
      the Creepy Steeple. The dark creature who lives there... Its curse
      ordains that when the steeple bell rings... One of the Twilighters living
      here in the village...becomes a pig.

Dour: Will my loved ones become swine? Will I, too, become a curly-tailed
      oinker? I'm so worried, I can't sleep at night. Of course, night and day
      are pretty similar here... If this keeps up...well...the village will be
      one giant pigpen. Which would be bad. Let me give you some advice. Leave
      us! Leave before you, too, get...piggified!

Yoshi: Not gonna happen, Gramps. We're looking for something really important.
       Maybe you've heard of it. It's a star-shaped rock called a Crystal Star.

Dour: Uh... I don't know about any Crystal Star thing...but in Creepy
      Steeple... There's a glittery red stone shaped like a star...

Yoshi: Whoa, are you serious? That's gotta be the Crystal Star! Gotta be!

Dour: Uh... You people... You aren't thinking of going to Creepy Steeple, are
      you?!? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Unthinkable...

[Mario and the others explore the town a bit, then they hear a crying girl in
 the shop. Inside, they see a pig and talk to the girl]

Shopkeeper: Oh, a customer... Sniff... I'm sorry... We're not open right now.

[Mario responds]

Shopkeeper: Huh? Why am I crying? Sniff... My husband's been turned into a pig.
            A pig...

[Mario responds]

Shopkeeper: Sniff... My husband went to the woods yesterday to collect herbs...
            But no husband came home... Instead, a pig returned! This pig! We
            got in a fight before he left, and I had called him a chauvinist
            pig... And now he really is a pig... Sniff.... *in an extremely
            fast pace* But he has a sweet side, too, like cooking my favorite
            food on my birthday, y'know? And when shoppers get rude, my husband
            escorts them out in such a manly way, y'know? He's just got so many
            wonderful things going for him, y'know? I wish he wouldn't dip into
            the till for cola money, but boys will be boys, y'know? And I could
            really do without him drying his underwear on the radiator, y'know?

            And no matter how often I tell him, he drinks milk from the carton,
            y'know? I don't think it'd be tough for him to change his socks
            once in a while, y'know? But I have my faults too, y'know? Like,
            maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him all the time, y'know? I
            should've told him how I felt about him when I could, y'know? Oh,
            how could he leave me and turn into a pig like this, y'know?
            *slowing down* ...Yeah. So, ummmmmm... Are you even listening?

[Mario wakes up and nods]

Shopkeeper: So, hey... Could you figure out some way to restore my husband to
            normal? I'll do whatever I can to help. You can even take anything
            in the storeroom that might help, y'know?

[They go outside to the gate guard]

Gate Guard: A nasty monster lives in the woods past here. I'm serious. That's
            what somebody said. If you still want to go through even after
            hearing that, you need the mayor's permission.

Yoshi: Oh, man, the old monster beyond the town gate thing? Isn't that kinda
       cliched? You gotta be kidding me. Fine, let's go ask.

[As they go back towards the mayor's place, the bell rings again]

Yoshi: Whoa! The bell rang, Mario! Doesn't that mean someone's gonna... Boy...
       I'm psyched it wasn't my turn to get pigged.

[At the mayor's house, they find out he's a pig]

Yoshi: Whoa! This ain't good! Don't you think this pig...is the mayor! What're
       we gonna do now? We needed that dude's OK to pass through the gate!

[As they go back to the gate guard, the bell rings. Upon reaching the gate,
 they find out he's been turned into a pig]

Yoshi: Whoa! The gate guy's gone! ...Oops! Nope! Not gone! The stubborn dude's
       a pig! Well, hey, that's actually pretty sweet for us! No pig's gonna
       get in our way!

[They pass through the gate and continue to the Twilight Trail. There, they
 find a Black Key and the Shop Key. Back at the town, they go to the shop and
 unlock the storage room. Inside are some supporting items and a black chest.
 Mario speaks to the chest]

Black Chest: Hold up! Hey! Who's there? I just heard a voice!

[The chest wiggles]

Black Chest: There's no way that people could be here! Seriously, that's just
             so unlikely!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: ...Huh? What's that, you say? You've seen a chest like this
             before? Get outta here!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: No, no, no! I'm not like those chests, I promise! Look at my eyes.
             Tell me I'm lying.

[Mario doesn't believe him]

Black Chest: I'm not, seriously! Just get me out of here! Don't make me beg!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: ...What? Come on. You know how ridiculous you sound right now? I'm
             laughing in here. You honestly think I'm going to curse you when I
             get out? CURSE you? Well, I did plan on doing SOMETHING to you,
             but it's not so much a curse as a... Well, a really wonderful new
             ability that will allow you to go to special places... Doesn't
             that sound nice?

[Mario thinks for a moment]

Black Chest: Aw, come on, please? Just find the key and open the chest, OK? I
             know it's here somewhere, I just can't go look for it myself.
             'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please?

[Mario talks to the chest again]

Black Chest: Oh! Thank goodness!!! You're going to let me out! Oh, happy day!

[Mario unlocks the chest]


[A monster appears]

Monster: What were you expecting? Did you think a lovely lady would pop out or
         something? Now I'm going to hit you with the king of curses, the
         cursiest curse ever! Fear my terrible power! You will know the pain of
         having your body roll up! BE CUUUUUUUURSED!

[Mario gets cursed]

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, loser! Savor your suffering!
         When this curse strikes you, you won't even be able to walk! That's
         how awful it is! Whee hee hee hee hee! Your suffering amuses me! And
         so I laugh! Now show me your cursed plight so I can laugh all the
         more! Just press and hold R, then rotate the Control Stick repeatedly!

[Mario rolls into a tube]

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee! Your pathetic misery thrills me to the core! You
         must roll around like a silly cardboard tube! Oh, how you'll be
         laughed at! Now... Do you understand the depth of your own agony?

 - I don't get it!
 - Yes, I understand...

[If "I don't get it!" is chosen...]

Monster: You blithering nincompoop! Press and hold R and then rotate the
         Control Stick!

[If "Yes, I understand..." is chosen...]

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee! Press B to return to normal! Don't forget,

[Mario returns to normal]

Monster: I leave you to suffer, fools! Whee hee hee hee hee!

[The monster disappears. Mario and the others go back to the Twilight Trail,
 and after awhile, they end up at the Creepy Steeple]


Creepy Steeple

Yoshi: Yeah, this is Creepy Steeple. That nasty monster's place... This place
       wigs me out... Look, Gonzales, let's just get that Crystal Star and get
       out of here, FAST!

[They enter the castle. Upon trying to go through a door, a Boo appears]

Boo #1: My friends have all been taken away... So lonely...

[They move a star statue and fall into a hole, to the bottom floor. They find a
 chest in another room. Upon opening it, hundreds of Boos get released]

Boo #2: OK! It's quiz time, interloper! Just now, when the box opened... How
        many of us Boos came out? Total!

 - 50
 - 100
 - 200

[Mario guesses "200"]

Boo #2: Good... Very good. Take this...math nerd.

[He drops an Ultra Shroom]

Boo #2: See you, sucker...

[He flies off. Back at the main room, Mario talks to a Boo]

Boo #1: Are you going to be mean to me?

 - Yes
 - No

[If "Yes" is chosen...]

Boo #1: Then go away, meanie!

[If "No" is chosen, he grows big and scares Mario]

Boo #1: Promise?

Boo #1: Come on out, guys!!!

[Many Boos come out into the open, and circle around the area. They gang up on
 Mario, and he does a Super Hammer attack twice]

Boo #1: Heee... Hoooo... Heee... You said you'd be nice! Let's get him, guys!

[All of the Boos fuse into one big Boo, the Atomic Boo]

Atomic Boo: YAH!

[They then battle. After the fight, all of the Boos go away, and Mario and the
 others continue through the steeple. Eventually they find a Steeple Key, then
 they use it on a locked door. In the following room, they go up a spiral set
 of stairs, and at the top, they reach a springboard. They jump on it and are
 carried to the top of the steeple]

Voice: Hey, hang on, there, Slick!

[A ghost-like person is shown]

?????: What are you doing, interrupting my "ME" time?

Yoshi: Whoa, come on! THIS guy is the monster the mayor was freaking out about?

?????: Who're you calling a monster? What's your problem? Why do you need to
       pick a fight? I'm busy thinking up new pranks and stuff! It's not easy,
       either! Now get lost! ...Of course, you guys WON'T. No way you ninnies
       go away quietly, am I right?

[He jumps off his chair]

?????: Well, all right, then, Slick. Fine. Yes. I turned the villagers into
       pigs. Big deal.

Yoshi: Big deal?!? You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn them into pigs,

?????: Well...

?????: You know, they're all so depressing and boring and dimwitted all the
       time... So instead of wallowing in gloom, I figured they might as well
       wallow in mud! HA! Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just sooo
       perfect? It's like irony, or something. So...what? You got a problem
       with that? I guess you do. So let's play, Slick!

[A battle commences. After a couple of hits...]

?????: Yuk yuk yuk! I guess I'll get down and dirty if you're gonna play like
       that, Slick!

[After some more hits...]

?????: Hmm... Time to regroup, here. So, you think you're a couple of heavies,
       huh? Well then, my dear friends... If you thought changing folks into
       pigs was impressive... Then you're gonna love this! I've got something
       very special for you here...

[He transforms into Mario]

?????: How do you like them apples? Now that's MAGIC, people! Now you're
       fighting yourself! Ha! I'm a dang genius!

[After yet more hits...]

?????: Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! Hold on... Wha... Wha... Huh? You beat me?

[He falls over. After the battle, he drops the Crystal Star]

"You got a Crystal Star!"

"Mario defeated the scourge of Creepy Castle and found the fourth Crystal Star.
 The people of Twilight Town have surely recovered from their awful curse by
 now. At this rate, Mario's quest to collect all seven Crystal Stars will be
 done in no time! With his back to Creepy Steeple, Mario sets out toward his
 bright future..."

Yoshi: That's IT? That's all you got? Man, this guy was a wimp! That wasn't
       even fair! Well, who cares, right? We got the Crystal Star, so let's get
       out of here.

[Mario, who has an odd voice, drops down the hole with Yoshi. However, the
 shadow of Mario gets up; the monster stole the real Mario's body. Mario exits
 the steeple]


Twilight Town


Beldam: Mwee hee hee hee hee... Yes... This time we'll take that Mario and get
        his map!

Beldam: With this Superbombomb here, there's no way we can fail. No, not

Marilyn: Guhhhhhhh...

Beldam: Vivian! Hand me that glorious Superbombomb!

Vivian: Huh?

Beldam: Vivian... Don't you dare... Does that "Huh?" mean what I think it does?

Vivian: I... I never had it! You were it holding it just two seconds ago! You
        said it was too important to trust me with!

Beldam: Oh, you terrible LIAR! Stop making up stories to cover yourself! If I
        don't have it, then OBVIOUSLY you must have it! And OBVIOUSLY you lost
        it! Or... Are you trying to imply that I lost it, you little
        lollygagging worm?

Vivian: I... No, of course not, Beldam...

Beldam: Well, we can't do much without it, now can we?!? Oh, you are SUCH an
        idiot... Very well... I'm sure you must have dropped it here
        somewhere... So why don't you look for it while Marilyn and I go take a
        well-earned siesta. And if you don't find it... Well, you know what'll
        happen, don't you?

Vivian: I... I get punished...

Beldam: That's right, you little twit, so get cracking! Come, Marilyn. Let's
        leave this useless little fool to her chore.

Marilyn: Guh-huh...

[Beldam and Marilyn leave. Meanwhile, Mario goes back to the Twilight Trail]


Twilight Trail

[On the way to Twilight Town...]

?????: Hey, what's up, Slick? Been waiting for you!

[The monster appears]

?????: Yeah, you're Mario, right? What a great name! And I really dig this
       body, too! MAN, can I jump now! And hey! You're so popular around here!
       I just love being you! Yeah, it's so cool, I don't think I wanna ever

?????: So, you figured it out by now, right, Slick? Your body and name belong
       to me now! See, I've got the power to change my shape into anyone I
       want... It comes in handy. But to REALLY be someone, I need to take
       their name and body, too! Which means you turn into a shadow and can't
       use your name! Tough break, Slick! That's not enough, either... I aim to
       erase you for good!

?????: I guess it'd be unsporting to ruin you without a challenge...so I'll
       give you one chance. If you guess my real name, then I'll give you back
       your name and body! What do you say, Slick? This'll be fun, right? Now,
       guess! What's my name? Hit me with your best shot!

[Mario guesses, but fails]

?????: Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that? Prepare for doom,
       Slick! Yuk yuk yuk! And don't even think about running from battle,
       hear? NO RUNNING!

[They battle, but all of Mario's attacks are ineffective. He runs and goes to
 Twilight Town]

?????: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... That's no fun...


Twilight Town

[Back at the town, Mario goes into the shop. The shopkeeper sees that the
 person she thought was her husband is back to normal, arguing with someone]

Shopkeeper: Oh, this is awkward... I guess that pig wasn't my husband at all.
            This guy is younger and cuter than my husband, actually... What a
            strapping fellow... Perhaps it's time I traded in for a new
            husband! Oh, I'm only fooling! Greetings! Welcome to the Twilight
            Shop! Whatcha need?

 - I'm here to buy.
 - I'm here to sell.
 - I'm here to store.
 - I'm here to withdraw.
 - Just checking points...

[Mario continues to another part of the town]

Vivian: Sniff... Sniff... Sniff... What'll I do? What'll I do? Poor me...

[Mario walks up to Vivian and talks to her]

Vivian: Sniff... I'm looking for something very important. If I don't find it,
        my sister's going to punish me again... But it's just not here...

[Mario examines the bushes and finds the Superbombomb, then he goes to Vivian]

Vivian: What?!? You found it?

[He gives it to her]

Vivian: Oh... Oh, thank you so much... Thank goodness... At least I won't get
        punished now...

[She finds out it's broke]

Vivian: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's... It's broken!

[Mario is surprised]

Vivian: It must have broken when my sister dropped it... What'll I do? What'll
        I do? I guess I was just meant to be punished for life...

 - Hey, don't feel bad!
 - Here, let me fix it.

[The outcome is the same either way]

Vivian: Thanks... You're very sweet. That actually makes me feel a little
        better. But what'll I do now? My sisters will be back any minute now...

Vivian: Hey, wait just a second... What's your name, anyway? Won't you tell me?

[Mario responds]

Vivian: What? I can't hear you...

[Mario responds]

Vivian: Your name was stolen? I see... I guess that happens from time to
        time... ...Wait, no it doesn't! Your NAME was stolen? That's absolutely

[Mario nods. They talk for a bit, but you see no dialogue]

Vivian: Gee whiz, you have way worse problems than I do! And you were worried
        about me that whole time... That's so...kind...

Vivian: All right, that's IT! I'm going to help you get back your name...and
        your body! And your friends!

[Mario refuses]

Vivian: Hey, that's OK! Don't worry about my problems... I'm not sure I really
        want to stay with my sisters anymore, anyway... And I feel like I need
        to repay your earlier kindness. It's the right thing to do.

[She kisses him]

Vivian: So, hmm hmm hmm hmm... Here we go!

"Vivian has joined your party!"

"Vivian's Abilites: A Primer"

"Press X to have Vivian pull Mario into the shadows, where they can hide!"

[Vivian hides with Mario, and a Boo passes right by them]

"When hiding in the shadows, press X to reemerge!"

[They come out of the shadows]

"In battle, Vivian can set enemies on fire with her Shade Fist... Or she and
 Mario can hide in the shadows to avoid damage with her Veil move!"

[After the introduction...]

Vivian: I guess we need to find out that ghost's real name first, huh? That'll
        be a start. Now how are we going to get that kind of information...

[Mario nods]

Vivian: Oh, hey, I have sort of an idea! Birds pretend to be innocent with
        people around... But they're actually really well informed from all
        that flying and eavesdropping. With my power, you can listen in on
        their conversations without them knowing. So, in addition to
        villagers, let's also try to get some info from the local birds. That's
        the least I could do for you with my powers!

[They go back to the Twilight Trail]


Twilight Trail

[Upon entering, they encounter the monster again]

?????: Hey, what's up, Slick? Been waiting for you! I would've done this back
       in town, but that wouldn't have looked very good, would it?

[He breaks out from the background]

Vivian: So... This is the one who stole your name and body... ...Hmm. He looks
        sort of familiar to me.

?????: All right, can the chatter! Here's the deal: you get your chance, then I
       stomp you! If you guess my real name, then you get your body and name
       back. Fire away, No-Name!

[Mario guesses his name incorrectly]

?????: Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that? Prepare for doom,
       Slick! Yuk yuk yuk! And don't even think about running from battle,
       hear? NO RUNNING!

[Mario and Vivian run away]

?????: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... That's no fun...

Vivian: He must have been hiding there in ambush, waiting for you to show up.
        Well, forget him! Let's go get your name back!

[They go to the Creepy Steeple]


Creepy Steeple

[At the steeple, they find a well which they jump into. After defeating many
 enemies, they find themselves in a room with a parrot and some treasure. One
 of the chests has a Steeple Key. Mario then hides in the shadows with Vivian]

Parrot: Skrawk? What happened to those weirdos who were just here? Aw,
        whatever... It was almost nice to have some company... I mean, no
        matter how important it is that no one know his real name... Locking me
        up in here just because I know it... And making me guard the name's
        stupid missing letter... No way to treat a parrot! I REALLY want a
        cracker... Doopliss, you're a big meanie. When's the feeding time, huh?

[They come out of the shadows]

Parrot: Skra-WAAAAAAAAAARK?!? Uh... Pretty bird! Pretty bird!

[Mario opens a chest containing the letter "p". He unlocks the door in this
 room and continues through it]

Vivian: Hmm hmm hmm hmm! We heard that! We heard you, little birdie! Doopliss!
        That's his name!

[Mario nods]

Vivian: Now let's get your name and body back from that meanie! And we'll teach
        him a lesson or two while we're at it!

[They go back to the Twilight Trail]


Twilight Trail

[They go back to where Doopliss is]

Doopliss: Hey, what's up, Slick?! Been waiting for you!

[He breaks out of the background again]

Doopliss: Hey, Slick! Time to cancel your magazine subscriptions, 'cause you're
          getting erased! But first, please amuse me with one more guess... It
          really gives me joy to watch you squirm in futility as you try to
          guess my name! So...hit me one more time!

[Mario guesses his name, and gets it right this time]

Doopliss: Wha... What did you just say?!?

Doopliss: It can't be...

Doopliss: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
          NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
          NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!



Doopliss: I'm...feeling...faint...

[He runs back and forth, towards the Creepy Steeple]

Vivian: Now it's our turn! Let's get your name and body back! Where would he go
        to hide...

[They go back to the Creepy Steeple once again]


Creepy Steeple

[They go to the very top of the castle, where Doopliss waits]

Doopliss: Hey, you again, eh, Slick? You're pretty stubborn to follow me all
          the way here!

Doopliss: Fine. Fine. I see. I get it. Let's just put an end to this, shall we?

Doopliss: All right, kids, put on your fighting gloves! Uh... Woo hoo! It's-a

[All of Mario's friends are by Doopliss]

Goombella: Sure thing, Mario!

Goombella: We're right there with you!

Koops: This creep couldn't take us on his own, so he teamed up with a Shadow

Flurrie: Well, we certainly won't be letting him do anything to our little

Yoshi: You're gonna taste the pain, Gonzales-style, shadow guy!

[Doopliss nods]

Doopliss: Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nameless nobody challenge the
          great Mario?!?

Vivian: Mario?!? The guy who stole your name and body is Mario... That means
        YOU'RE Mario?!?

 - Yeah, actually...
 - No! Of course not!

[When "Yeah, actually..." is chosen...]

Vivian: I can't believe it... All this time I was helping Mario... I feel like
        an idiot...

Doopliss: What's going on here, huh? Fight with your girlfriend? Well, don't
          expect any sympathy from us, ghoulies!

[The fight commences]

Doopliss: Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! See? Your friends ditch you because you
          don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!

[Mario fights Doopliss and Goombella alone, with Vivian nowhere in sight. After
 a few hits...]

Goombella: Mario! Don't let your guard down, OK?

[After the next turn...]

Vivian: I'm... I'm sorry, Sis... This Mario is the only person who's ever been
        kind to me...

[Vivian appears]

Vivian: Mario! I'm fighting by your side from now on!

[Mario is surprised]

Vivian: I've... I've made my choice! And I'm not turning back!

[After more hits...]

Doopliss: Gulp! How dare you try to do this to the great Super Mario?!? How
          DARE you?!?

[After yet more hits...]

Doopliss: Graaaack! I've almost had it.. Super Mario's hurting...

[Once he's defeated...]

Doopliss: No... Why... HOW?!?

[He falls over]

Goombella: Eeeek! Mario!!!

[After the battle, Doopliss turns back into himself and drops the Crystal Star]

All: HUH?!?

[Mario gets his body and name back]

Doopliss: Rats! YOU KILLJOYS!!!

[Doopliss runs away]

Goombella: What? He ran away... I mean... Wait, just what the heck is going on
           here? That wasn't the real Mario?

Koops: Did we get shellwinked?

Flurrie: How could I ever mistake my dear Mario for another... Oh, silly

Yoshi: ...So, who's this girl, huh? Isn't she one of the Shadow Sirens you guys
       mentioned? Why would Gonzales pair up with one of those creeps?

Vivian: Well, I, uh...

[Mario walks over to his friends, and talks to Vivian]

Vivian: Oh... Mario... Thanks for sticking up for me...

Yoshi: Well, thanks to her, I guess you came through this OK... No sweat,

Vivian: Uh... Listen, Mario... Sorry about earlier... I'd be happy to travel
        with you if you'll have me.

[Mario nods]

"Vivian has REALLY joined your party now!"

[Vivian takes the Crystal Star]

Vivian: This is for you!

"You got a Crystal Star! Your Star Power is now 5! And Mario learned the
 special move Art Attack!"

"Mario defeated the rogue who had stolen his name and appearance. Now Mario has
 four Crystal Stars. That leaves a mere three more to find! And THAT means his
 quest to collect all of the Crystal Stars is more than half over! Now Mario
 heads off toward his next adventure with his new friend, Vivian... ...But what
 about Beldam and Marilyn? And what became of the doppelganger, Doopliss?"


Twilight Town


Beldam: Vivian is so VERY late! Where has that scatterbrain been all this time?

Marilyn: Guhhhh...

[Doopliss runs through the bushes]


Peach's Event #4 [PCH4]

[At Grodus's lair...]

Grodus: Are you sure about this? Speak up, X-Naut!

Blue X-Naut: Yes, sir, quite sure. I pored over all our research of the
             Thousand-Year Door... ...And it appears the sealing power has
             defenitely been weakening, as Beldam said.

Grodus: Finally, the treasure of legend... The ancient power of darkness will
        soon be ours!

Grodus: Listen, and listen well! Keep giving the Crystal Star search top
        priority! Of course, that also includes the elimination of Mario! That
        meddling scum...

Blue X-Naut: Got it, sir!

[The blue X-Naut leaves]

Grodus: Soon I will have the power that has slept for a millennium... So very
        soon! And when that glorious day dawns, I'll throw the world into the
        depths of terror! No one can stop me now. All will kneel before the
        X-Naut regime! And then I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect,
        ideal world... Yes. A world made by me, about me, and for me!


[At TEC's room, Peach enters]

Princess Peach: TEC? Did you call me?

[She walks up to TEC]

Princess Peach: What shall I do today? Will it be dancing, perhaps? Disguising?
                Or will I sing a song or something?

TEC: I... I am conflicted.

Princess Peach: Huh?

[There is silence for a moment]

Princess Peach: What's wrong, TEC? You don't seem yourself...

TEC: Which is more important? Carrying out an order or protecting a critical
     person? I exist for the purpose of a certain person. I wish to exist for
     the purpose of another... I do not know what to do... Really.

Princess Peach: What do you mean?

TEC: No... No, never mind. Please forget my musings. I do not know why...but it
     makes me feel unpleasant if I make you worry. Well, in any case... Let's
     have a quiz.

Princess Peach: A quiz?

TEC: That's right, Princess Peach. Please answer the questions that I am about
     to ask you. If you can answer five questions, you may use the communicator
     as usual.

Princess Peach: What's wrong with you all of a sudden, huh?

TEC: Now, the first question.

TEC: What will happen if you collect seven Crystal Stars?

 - Your wish is granted.
 - Thousand-Year Door opens.
 - A thousand coins appear.

[If you answer any question wrong...]

TEC: Incorrect. Please start again from the beginning, Princess Peach.

[If "Thousand-Year Door opens." is chosen...]

TEC: Correct. Now, the second question.

TEC: What is the goal of Grodus, leader of the X-Nauts?

 - To conquer the world.
 - To get rich.
 - To become a superhero.

[If "To conquer the world." is chosen...]

TEC: Correct. Now, the third question.

TEC: What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-Year Door?

[Peach is surprised]

Princess Peach: TEC... Is this...

TEC: Princess, please answer. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind
     the Thousand-Year Door?

 - 100,000,000 coins.
 - An extremely rare badge.
 - A 1,000-year-old demon's soul.

[If "A 1,000-year-old demon's soul." is chosen...]

TEC: Correct. Now, the fourth question.

TEC: What does Sir Grodus wish to do with this ancient demon's soul?

 - Cherish it always.
 - Bring the demon back to life.
 - Hang out with it.

[If "Bring the demon back to life." is chosen...]

TEC: Correct. Now, the fifth question.

TEC: What is required to seal up the demon again?

 - A legendary sword.
 - A magic spell.
 - Crystal Stars.

[If "Crystal Stars." is chosen...]

TEC: Correct. You have correctly answered all five questions. Now you may use
     the communicator.

Princess Peach: TEC... You... Was it OK for you to tell me such things?

TEC: Please input the message you wish to send.

[She types a message to Mario]

Princess Peach: Uh... OK. I'm done. Could you send it?

[TEC sends the message]

TEC: The message has been sent. That is all for now. Please go back to the

[She walks to the door]

Princess Peach: Thank you... You're still a weird computer, TEC.

[She walks off]

TEC: Good night, Princess Peach.


Bowser's Event #4 [BWS4]

[At the Rogueport blimp area...]

Kammy Koopa: My lord! I've received reports of a great secret in the floating
             town of Glitzville! Let's ride the Cheep Blimp there! Come now!

[Kammy floats to the Cheep Cheep]

Kammy Koopa: You there! Two tickets! One Great and Evil King! And one Sweet,
             Young Thing!

Blimp Owner: Guh-Guh-Good gravy!!! B-Bowser! The evil king! And a deluded old
             hag! I... Uh... LIFE'S TOO SHORT!

[He gets scared and runs away]

Kammy Koopa: ...WHAT did he just say? Hey! Come back here, you! Impudent little

[She notices Bowser is gone]

Kammy Koopa: Hey! I'm talking to myself! Where'd Lord Bowser go?

[She looks for him, and he suddenly comes down in his Koopa Copter]

Bowser: Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Forget that wimpy blimpy! I'll be riding
        THIS, baby! I snuck into Glitzville once before, so I know the way.
        No problem-o! You go easy on your old limbs and take the slow ride on
        the blimp, Gramma!

[Bowser flies off fast, making Kammy fall off of her broom]

Kammy Koopa: Wait! Lord Bowser, please! Awwwww... Now my Special Dirigible
             Deluxe Brown Bag Kammy Lunch will go to waste...

[Meanwhile, Bowser is shown in the sky. His Koopa Copter suddenly goes bad]

Bowser: Huh? That don't sound good... What's that warning light? Don't tell

[His Koopa Copter stops]


[He falls into the water. After an SMB-esque level, he arrives at the
 Rogueport harbor]

Bowser: Haaaack... Ooooooog... A-CHOO! That was terrible... I gotta get in

Bob-omb: Who's...? WAAAAUGH!!! It's Bowser, the Koopa king!!!

[Everybody runs away in fear, then Kammy Koopa finds Bowser. She is carrying
 some balloons]

Kammy Koopa: THERE you are, Lord Bowser! What are you doing here? I've been
             looking all over! If I may ask, where have you been, Your

Bowser: ...Swimming.

Kammy Koopa: Really? Neat! As for me... Glitzville was FANTASTIC! The fights
             were SO COOL! I was overcome! Why, even at my age, I was shaking
             what my momma gave me! And then...the Hot Dogs! Oh, my gracious!
             YUMMERLY! You have fun, too? Hm?

Bowser: ...

[He gets mad and breathes fire on Kammy]

Bowser: GRAAARGH!!!

Kammy Koopa: Lord Bowser... Is that a "no"?

Bowser: It was terrible! You hear me? I swallowed a dang Blooper! I wanted to
        have FUN! But forget it! It's over! Go get me some solid info on
        Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars! NOW!!!


Before Chapter Five [BFC5]

Twilight Town

[Back at the town, everyone is restored back to normal]

Dour: I can't believe it was a fake Mario all that time... So we were all
      fooled... I'm so sorry, Mario... After all you've done for our town...
      Did we hurt your feelings?

 - Nah, not really.
 - Maybe a little...

[If "Maybe a little..." is chosen...]

Dour: ... Er... Well, all right, it's OK to be in touch with your feelings. So
      then! You've brought a shining ray of light to our dim little town!
      Twilight Town thanks you!

[If "Nah, not really." is chosen...]

Dour: You're a bigger man than I, Mario! Such fortitude! You're a true hero!
      You've brought a shinging ray of light to our dim little town! Twilight
      Town thanks you!

[The below lines are said regardless]

Vivian: Hey, Mario... We need to get back to Rogueport, right? Let's go.

Dour: Please come back to visit anytime you like!

[They exit Twilight Town]


Rogueport Sewers

[As they exit the room where the pipe to Twilight Town is, Mario gets mail]

Vivian: Oh my goodness, Mario! Would that be an e-mail from Princess Peach?

"My dear Mario, I have finally learned what the legendary treasure is. It is
 the spirit of a demon! The X-Nauts plan to revive this thousand-year-old
 monster... And use its power to take over the world! They're collecting the
 Crystal Stars so they can open the Thousand-Year Door... They'll find this
 demon's spirit... But the only thing that can keep it locked away is the
 Crystal Stars themselves! You must not let them get the Crystal Stars! Please,
 Mario... You must put a stop to their horrible plans!"
                             -Princess Peach-

Vivian: An...ancient demon's spirit...

[They continue to the room with the Thousand-Year Door. Mario stands on the
 pedestal and holds up the fourth Crystal Star. Then, the location of the fifth
 one gets recorded on the Magical Map]

"The location of a Crystal Star has been recorded on your Magical Map!"

Vivian: We'd better hurry, don't you think? We should go up to the professor's
        office! We have to let him know about the princess's e-mail!



[At Frankly's office...]

Professor Frankly: Whuh-Whuh-WHAAAAAAT?!?

Professor Frankly: Th-That was written in Princess Peach's e-mail? The
                   legendary treasure is actually the spirit of an ancient
                   demon... And those fiends want to use the power of the
                   Crystal Stars to ressurect it? How bone-chilling... Sadly,
                   it DOES seem to be consistent with what I've uncovered...

Vivian: What have you found out, Professor?

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... This is rather long, so you'd best listen well.

Professor Frankly: Are all of you ready? And you there! In front of the TV! You
                   listen up, too!

Vivian: Maybe I'm missing something... Are you talking to no one?

Professor Frankly: OH, NEVER YOU MIND! Don't worry about such trivial details.
                   Just listen!

Professor Frankly: The great cataclysm that I read about in that book may well
                   refer to this demon... It says that a monster destroyed a
                   large town that once stood on in this very area. It ALSO
                   says that the seven Crystal Stars were actually CREATED by
                   this monster... AND that this thing used the power of the
                   Crystal Stars to try to control the world...

Professor Frankly: According to this book, the demon was defeated in the end by
                   four heroes. But only the beast's physical form was
                   destroyed... Its spirit could not be eradicated. So, the
                   heroes used the Crystal Stars, which they had stolen from
                   the demon... And they cast the evil beast into the depths of
                   a vast maze, and sealed the exit... From this, I gather that
                   the Crystal Stars cannot distinguish good from evil. So, if
                   they're all united, they could either seal away or ressurect
                   the demon. It seems that who wields the Crystal Stars
                   determines if they're used for evil or good.

Vivian: I guess we ought to consider not collecting the Crystal Stars, then...
        It would be awful if we found them all, only to have them stolen for
        evil purposes. Does anyone think it might just be better to destroy
        them once and for all?

Professor Frankly: That was my first thought, too, but further research
                   suggests we can't do that. There's a slight possibility that
                   the Thousand-Year Door is weakening. It seems the Crystal
                   Stars hold the power to seal the beast for a thousand years.
                   So, once a thousand years pass, the power to keep the door
                   sealed shut will fail. And unfortunately, this year may be
                   the thousandth year. Bad luck, huh? The fact that those
                   goons want the stars now may be coincidence...but maybe not.
                   In other words, we must be ready for the demon's return,
                   even if the X-Nauts fail.

Vivian: Oh. I guess we'd better find the rest of the Crystal Stars then, huh?
        Where do we start?

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... According to the map, it appears to be somewhere on
                   Keelhaul Key.

Vivian: Keelhaul Key?

Professor Frankly: I'm none too familiar with the place, but I've heard
                   countless unsavory rumors. You know, the usual stuff...
                   Vengeful spirits full of hatred, evil curses, things like
                   that... I'm sure the sea salts down by the harbor know more.
                   You should head there first.

[Mario and the others explore the town, then eventually they find a pirate who
 has a red skull]

Flavio: And what do you want, ah? Who, me, you ask about? Ah! I am called
        Flavio. I am, how you say? A trader. The richest man in Rogueport.
        Monetary wealth gives me freedom, yes, and freedom gives me wealth of
        spirit! And yet...why is it that a man whose life is unchained must
        always long for yet more, ah? What is missing from my life? This tears
        at my very insides! I must know! What do I lack?

 - Romance, defenitely.
 - I'd say...emotion.
 - Probably thrills.
 - Money, maybe?

[If "Romance, defenitely." is chosen...]

Flavio: Romance, you say, ah? I suppose one does need some rrrrrromance in
        life... What other sweet, delectable fruit could make so many wonderful
        pasta sauces... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not ROMAS, you silly man!
        What I need is ROMANCE!!! Wait! Hold the horses! That is it!!!

[If "I'd say...emotion." is chosen...]

Flavio: Emotion, you say, ah? I suppose each life must experience some
        emotion... Yes, the gradual process that forever alters the landscape
        of life, like rain on dirt... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not EROSION,
        you silly man! What I need is EMOTION!!! Wait! Hold the horses! That is

[If "Probably thrills." is chosen...]

Flavio: Thrills, you say, ah? I suppose one does need some thrills every now
        and then... There is nothing like the feeling of being alone on a
        mountain, shivering to death... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not CHILLS,
        you silly man! What I need are THRILLS!!! Wait! Hold the horses! That
        is it!!!

[If "Money, maybe?" is chosen...]

Flavio: Money, you say, ah? Yes. There is nothing like a grapefruit covered
        in... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not HONEY, you silly man! What he meant
        was MONEY!!! ...Ah, but if it's money I need, I may be in good shape.
        Because I'm filthy rich! Wait! Hold the horses! A great idea has

[He walks up to Mario. The lines are now the same either way]

Flavio: Now that I am thinking of it, I once heard of the treasure of Cortez,
        the pirate king... Yes! This is the answer! Oh, such happiness for me!
        A hunt for pirate treasure!!! Why, that just shrieks of rrrromance and
        thrills and emotion and even money!!!

Flavio: Do you not know the tale? The pirate king's treasure? Hidden on
        Keelhaul Key? Ah! Well, tales say that the pirate king, Cortez, hid his
        hoard of pirate booty there. For years, treasure hunters and ruffians
        have gone there in search of the loot... But not a single one of them
        has ever returned! Oh, the horror makes my back tingle! People here
        whisper that the ghost of Cortez attacks all who seek his treasure...
        Eek! It is because of those very rumors that people no longer go to
        Keelhaul Key.

[He looks at his skull treasure]

Flavio: But that will not stop Flavio! That treasure is there, yes! And I am
        going to prove it! For I am Flavio! Trader extraordinaire, millionaire,
        sailor of the seven seas!

[Mario responds]

Flavio: What is that you are saying? You are also looking for a treasure? Here
        in Rogueport?

[Mario nods]

Flavio: Why talk such craziness? There isn't anything like that in this dull
        armpit of a town. You cannot be believing each stupid rumor about
        treasure some street urchin spews out. No no no no no no no no no NO!

[Mario responds]

Flavio: Now what madness comes bursting from your mouth? You have a treasure
        map? W-Well... Hand it over! Rather, I mean, show me!

[He shows Flavio the Magical Map]

Flavio: You are having a joke on me. This map leads straight to Keelhaul Key!!!
        You swine! You mean to steal my treasure out from under me, you awful,
        awful man!

[Mario responds]

Flavio: Well, now I am confused. You are looking for things known as the
        Crystal Stars?

[Mario nods]

Flavio: But now that I am thinking... A star-shaped stone WAS said to be in
        Cortez's hoard... Perhaps I could sell it for a staggering amount of
        cash? Yes, that would be... ...Ah! Stop such thoughts, Flavio! What you
        need is romance, thrills, and emotion. I cannot ignore what this
        business before me suggests... This must be fate at work! Flavio shall
        go with you to Keelhaul Key! Of course, the Crystal Star is yours! Yes!
        But the rest of the treasure is mine!

[Mario responds]

Flavio: Huh? You must repeat that. Flavio's ears are plugged. You have no ship?
        HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! You unfortunate, foolish man! Do you not
        know who I am? I will have a ship ready in no time! And it will be
        massive! And glorious!

[Mario nods]

Flavio: Splendid, splendid, splendid! Let us begin preperations immediately,
        shall we? I will volunteer myself as our intrepid leader! Yes! And you
        will be captain! Ah! Danger and adventure tickle my nostrils! Come to
        the harbor right away!

[Flavio takes his skull treasure and leaves. Mario goes to the harbor and
 speaks with Flavio, who is on his boat]

Flavio: Ah, yes. So it is you, ah? Well, sadly, a slight problem seems to have
        popped up. But feast your eyes on this outrageously fantastic ship! She
        is a fine vessel, no? She is the S.S. Flavion. The queen of the
        countless ships in my personal fleet! The raw majesty of her hull! The
        pomp and circumstance! None can compare to her. Ah! Behold the elegant
        curve of her prow! She cuts to the very SOUL! Don't you agree? But she
        is not just a beauty... She is a savage beast on the water, tops among
        sailboats! But above all, I tell you, this proud ship can...

[Mario responds]

Flavio: Ah! Yes? Did you speak? Yes, yes, yes, of course. The problem that has
        sprung up. ...I had completely forgotten about it. The S.S. Flavion,
        she bewitches me... Yes, well... Here is the issue. We...have no
        navigator. He ran off, the dog. The navigator, of course, is the
        highest-ranked helmsman. They steer ships, you know. Now, here is the
        real problem. The waters around Keelhaul Key are deathly dangerous. We
        need an absurdly skilled helmsman for our navigator. It is a, how you
        say? A pickle.

Pa-Patch: Oy, Flavio!

Pa-Patch: Heard you talkin' there, sir! If you don't mind me sayin'... I might
          'ave a solution...

Flavio: Do not tease me, Pa-Patch! You can solve our problem? Then spit it out,

Pa-Patch: Well, sir, I've 'eard talk of a famed... No! A LEGENDARY sailor
          livin' in Rogueport. Yeah, I think he's called Admiral Bobbery... A
          salty sea dog, by all accounts... But...he's said to 'ave the
          Helmsman's Touch, sir: he can make any ship bow to his will. Thing
          is, there ain't a soul wot's seen him on the seas of late...

Flavio: Bassa-boom! Problem solved! Let us scout out this Bobbery fellow and
        get him on board!

Flavio: As is customary, my captain will handle all negotiations. That...would
        be you, Mario. That DOES sound fair to everyone, does it not?

[Everyone agrees]

Flavio: ...Then it is decided. You must find this Bobbery and bring him here.
        Our fortune sails with you!

[Mario and the others look around town, and eventually enter a locked house via
 a chimney. Inside is an old Bob-omb]

Old Bob-omb: What do you blokes want?

[Mario talks to him]

Old Bob-omb: You seek Admiral Bobbery? ...Never heard of the gent. Take your
             search elsewhere.

[He unlocks his door]

Old Bob-omb: Now, away with you!

[Mario goes back to Flavio and speaks with him]

Flavio: You found someone who matches Bobbery's description but claims he is
        not him? Strange... I would ask someone who is knowledgeable about the
        neighborhood about this.

[Mario goes to the Inn and speaks with the bartender]

Bartender: Admiral Bobbery? Yeah... Yeah, I know him. You know that house just
           past the wall in the eastern part of town? That's his. But I think
           both you and he would be better off if you just let him be...

[He goes back to speak with Bobbery again]

Bobbery: Admiral Bobbery? I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking
         about. Now, if you please...

Vivian: Please, don't insult us... We already know you're the admiral, so just
        admit it!

Bobbery: Harumph! What poppycock... Tell me, what would you want with me if I
         were this chump?

[Mario responds]

Bobbery: You say your ship needs a navigator, and you want me to do the job,
         mmm? ...So sorry, but you'll have to look elsewhere. I shall set sail
         upon the sea...nevermore!

Vivian: But... Maybe you don't understand how important this is. We NEED you.
        Without you, we'll never get to Keelhaul Key!

Bobbery: Awfully sorry, dear boy, but when I say "no", what I mean is...NO!

[They leave his house]

Vivian: What do you think, Mario? Nothing we say seems to be enough to convince
        this man...

[Mario thinks for a moment]

Vivian: But... Don't you find it odd? Why would a sailor have such hatred for
        the sea? We need answers... Maybe we should ask around town about this
        man's story...

[They go back to the bartender in the Inn]

Bartender: You say Bobbery won't go to sea, huh? Well, can't say that surprises
           me. The real question is, are you folks REALLY sure you want Bobbery
           back on the water?

[Mario responds]

Bartender: Oh, is that it? Now I see... You want to mount an expedition to
           Keelhaul Key... Rough seas out there. Most sailors would meet their
           ends. Not old Bobbery, though...

[After a few seconds...]

Bartender: The fact of the matter is... Admiral Bobbery's tale is sad. Horribly
           sad, actually. You'll probably end up crying...but I'll tell it to
           you, if you really want me to.

 - Please do! I can take it.
 - No, I hate sad stories.

[If "No, I hate sad stories." is chosen...]

Bartender: Well, fair enough, I suppose. I guess it isn't the sort of story I
           should tell, anyway.

[If "Please do! I can take it." is chosen...]

Bartender: In that case, get ready... Bobbery's tale of woe goes something like

Bartender: Bobbery was once married. He had a wife of enduring beauty named
           Scarlette. The two of them were madly in love, the sort of love
           reserved for fairy tales. Now, Bobbery was a renowned sailor, so he
           was away from home for long periods. Scarlette never complained,
           though, and always waited faithfully for Bobbery's return. And
           Bobbery... His eye never drifted. He loved only Scarlette, truly and
           deeply. So they lived, and found happiness where they could. And all
           was good, for a time...

Bartender: ...But not all good things can last. It was a particularly icy
           winter when it happened... Scarlette fell ill. A virus? A passing
           cold? No one knew, but it soon turned serious. Bobbery, at sea on a
           long, lonely voyage, knew nothing of his bride's suffering. By the
           time he returned, Scarlette had succumbed. She was gone. Bobbery, of
           course, blamed himself. "My loving wife perished because of me... If
           I were not at sea, I could have nursed her to health. I could have
           saved her." ...He was overcome with such thoughts. They tormented
           him always, haunting his sleep. He has never gone out to sea since.

Vivian: I can't imagine what that poor man went through... No wonder he won't
        set sail.

Bartender: You all know his tale now... So, tell me: do you still want him to
           return to sea?

 - Yes... We have no choice.
 - No. He's suffered enough.

[If "No. He's suffered enough." is chosen...]

Bartender: In that case, let the miserable old soul be and make your way
           without him.

[If "Yes... We have no choice." is chosen...]

Bartender: Very well. I understand. If you're that determined, then I'll give
           you this...

[He takes something from his desk and gives an Old Letter to Mario]

Bartender: On her deathbed, Scarlette wrote Bobbery a final letter. You hold it
           in your hands. I don't know what's written inside...but I can tell
           you what she told me as she lay dying: "If I should succumb to this
           plague, and if my love should blame himself for my death... Then
           give this letter to him, so he may hear my voice." It was her last
           request. But when I saw Bobbery in misery, trying to forget the pain
           as he mourned his wife... I just couldn't bring myself to present
           this letter to him. I've regretted it ever since.

Bartender: Please... Take this letter, and do the deed I was too cowardly to
           do: take it to Bobbery.

Vivian: Thank you so much, Podley. We'll deliver the letter, don't you worry.
        Ready, Mario?

[Mario nods. He goes back to visit Bobbery, then speaks to him]

Bobbery: What?!? Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again! No matter how many
         times you entreat me, my stance is firm! Now away with you!

[Mario gives him Scarlette's letter]

Bobbery: Pardon? A letter, you say? F-For me???

[Mario nods]

Bobbery: What?!? Scarlette!!! This is Scarlette's handwriting!!!

[He opens the letter]

Bobbery: Scarlette, my love...

"My love: if you're reading this letter, then I am no longer by your side.
 Because fate has stepped between us, I have decided to write you this
 letter. If you're reading this, I must have passed away while you were out to
 sea... I can only assume that you will blame yourself for it, my sweet
 Bobbery. Although my life was short, you gave me more than a lifetime's worth
 of joy. Though you will mourn, I beg that you remember that time, like love,
 is a tide. You are one with the sea, as you were one with me. Do not lose both
 your life's loves."

Bobbery: "Time, like love, is a tide. You are one with the sea...as you were
         one with me..." A... A thousand pardons... But may I have a moment
         alone, if you please?

[He goes into his room. A few seconds later...]

Bobbery: Yes, love... I WAS happy.... My sweet, sweet Scarlette... I love you

[He exits his room]

Bobbery: Now then! You were looking for a navigator, I believe? Bound for
         Keelhaul Key?

[Mario nods]

Bobbery: Harumph! If you think an old sea bomb like me is what you need, then
         let's shove off!

Vivian: Admiral Bobbery!!! Wonderful!

[The three exit his house]

Bobbery: The ship's in the harbor, hm? I must inspect her before we leave. I
         shall meet you there.

[Bobbery leaves, and Mario and the others follow him to the harbor. He speaks
 with Flavio]

Flavio: I knew you would get Bobbery on board, you wonderful mustached man,
        you! To you, I must say AHOY! I was wise to choose you as my captain!
        Ahoy to me, as well.

[He looks at his men]

Flavio: My men have already loaded our cargo and supplies. Yes! Preperations
        are complete! If you have no errands, we can depart at once! What do
        you say? Shall we set sail?

 - Yeah, let's shove off!
 - No, not yet.

[If "No, not yet." is chosen...]

Flavio: Then take care of what you must, you dragging anchor! The sea awaits

[If "Yeah, let's shove off!" is chosen...]

Flavio: Very well! To the sea! Raise anchor and set sails for thrills and
        emotion! And romance! And money! Our destination is dread Keelhaul

Bob-omb: Wait up!

[A blue Bob-omb hops on board, and the boat sets sail. An X-Naut is shown, who
 was spying on Flavio and the others]

X-Naut: This is X-Naut One here, come back, dude? I repeat, X-Naut One here,
        over. Roger, reading you five-by. Infiltration is successful. X-Naut
        Black aboard vessel. Repeat: X-Naut Black is on board the vessel...


Chapter 5: The Key to Pirates [CHP5]

[At the sea...]

"Month    Day X
 Over the protests of my crew, the S.S. Flavion has set sail! Is this voyage as
 reckless as they say? Ah! I must scoff! Flavio will show them guts!"

[A day passes]

"Month   Day XX
 Another day of good wind. White clouds, they dazzle me. It is as if they are
 blessing our voyage! Flavio thanks them, most heartily!"

[Another day passes]

"Month   Day X
 Things are going smoothly...yet I am filled with dread... At this speed, we
 should reach our destination by tommorow's sunrise."

[Nighttime comes]

Flavio: *singing* Skull captain casts his gaze! Red jewel shines and plays!
        Boom-bassa-boom festival! The 'Stache brothers, best of friends! 3
        times Red 'Stache lands on his end! Blue Stache's belly 4 times is
        whacked, so let's hear those fireworks go BOOM! At the boom-bassa-boom

Flavio: Yes, now we are talking! Flavio told you, did he not? Nothing to fear,
        no! The island is right before our eyes! Do you not see it? It is a
        mountain of treasure! Oh ho ho! I feel fabulous! Shall I tell you one
        of my many tales of raw bravery? No, it is no trouble at all! There I
        was, locked in deadly combat with a sea serpent...

[He starts talking to himself]

Pa-Patch: Great. He's started again. A "tale of bravery", right? I heard this
          one yesterday...

Pa-Patch: There's nowhere to escape to... We just have to listen until he's
          finished... Yeah, if you interrupt him midstory, he absolutely loses
          it, too... ...Uh, why is the ...What? Wait, what's going on here? The
          ship's stopping.

Pa-Patch: Oy! Master Flavio! Awful sorry to interrupt that wicked story... But
          the ship's stopped...

Flavio: Ah? Stopped, you say to me, after interrupting a story of passion and
        fury? Well, it is your job to keep the ship moving, yes? Hmm? So take
        care of it!

Pa-Patch: Oh, aye aye, Flavio! I'll get on it, right quick! Wait a tick!

[He climbs up to the top of the ship, and a flame ghost appears behind him]

Pa-Patch: Yeah, yeah, I'm workin' on it! Just wait a Goomba-stompin' moment, ya

[He looks behind him and the ghost disappears, then he turns around and it
 appears again]

Pa-Patch: OY! Quit shovin', eh?!? I'm workin' over 'eere! I said QUIT SHOVIN'!!

[He looks behind him and sees the ghost]

Pa-Patch: Uh...AARGH!

[He runs around in fear, then climbs down]

Pa-Patch: ...Th-Th-They're 'ere!

Flavio: What is this ruckus, now? Who is here? Will someone tell me what is
        going on?

[Many ghosts appear]

Voice: ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOo......oOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoO...

Pa-Patch: N-N-No... They're upon us... The p-p-p-pirate...GHOSTS!

Pa-Patch: All them rumors were true!

Pa-Patch: Whuh... Uh... What do we do? We gotta get outta here! AAAAAAAAAAIGH!

Flavio: *panicking* D-D-Do not panic yourselves! This is just a dream...that we
        are all having...awake! N-N-Now... Q-Q-Quickly... M-M-Move the

Voice: ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOo......oOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoO...

[More ghosts appear, including one in front of Flavio]

Flavio: *panicking* Oh...ghostly oohing thing! Are you...really...the savage
        pirate king?

[His face turns blue]


Four Eyes: Buck up, now, everyone! Remain civilized! Relax! Don't panic!

Four Eyes: Relax, relax, relax, I say! You must simply take it easy! Er...what?


[Bobbery jumps in the water]

Four Eyes: Excuse me! Listen, everyone! If we could form an orderly line
           without shoving... Forget that! Make a path!

[Four Eyes jumps in the water]

Flavio: *hysterical* Bobbery! Look alive, man! AIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! We must
        get out of here! ABANDON SHIIIIIIIIP! Every rich, marvelous merchant
        for himself!

[The ship sinks into the water]

"Month   Day X
 Fortune from disaster: the kindly sea washed us ashore. What strange irony
 that this island was our intended destination all along, no? And yet, we
 mourn. We have lost three crew members, including Admiral Bobbery. It pains me
 to think that they were taken by the pirate king, that ghostly thing... What
 happens to us now, ah? We may be lost without hope, stricken in the wilds..."

"Month   Day X
 We have made a semblance of civilized life here. The ship's floatsam washed
 in, and we now have salty bread and other salty things... We can live for some
 time on this salty bounty of the sea... But then what, I ask?"

"Month   Day OO
 We have built a few huts from the washed-up timbers... Ah, poor, sweet S.S.
 Flavion! At least the shanties keep out the wind and rain. We still have had
 no sign of Bobbery and the others, and my heart, she doubts... Still, despite
 my fears, we must continue to hope that they are alive somewhere."

"Month   Day OX
 Three days on the isle now, and the huts are all finished. We have carved a
 life out here, though we all dream of a return to Rogueport..."


Keelhaul Key

[Mario is looking across the sea]

Pa-Patch: Oy! Captain 'Stache!

[Mario sees Pa-Patch]

Pa-Patch: It ain't much, but we finished a wee hut for you to rest in! Come
          'ave a look!

[Mario nods, and Pa-Patch walks off. At the next area...]

Keelhaul Key Toad: Captain! Please, help us! Flavio and Pa-Patch are in a huge

[They go up to Flavio and Pa-Patch]

Flavio: And what about you, Squinty? You turned to jelly when you saw all those

Pa-Patch: What are you talkin' 'bout?!? You were the one quakin' in 'is boots,
          fancy pants!

Flavio: ...Wait. Wait one moment. Did... Did you just call the great Flavio
        "fancy pants"?

Pa-Patch: That's right, fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants! Fancy pants!
          Fancy pants!

Flavio: *angry* Why, you little CYCLOPS! Flavio demands satisfaction! You! Me!
        Hammers! At dawn!

Pa-Patch: Oy, that's right fine by me! I can't wait to put a few dents in those
          fancy threads!

[They walk off]


[They run behind Mario]

Pa-Patch: C-C-Captain 'Stache! Them ghosts are back!

[Some ghosts appear]

Flavio: M-Mario! F-Front and center! This is an o-o-o-o-order! Take care of
        those ghosts!

[The ghosts battle him. After the fight...]

Pa-Patch: Yes! Yer a bloomin' BEAST, Captain 'Stache!

Flavio: Too early to celebrate, no? There are surely more of them elsewhere,
        ah? ...Someone must investigate the rest of the island. Yes. That is
        what must be. As leader of this expedition, I, of course, should stay
        here. On this, I brook no argument. Ah, yes! Of course! Mario! Perhaps
        you could handle the exploration of this island?

 - Can do!
 - No way, pal!

[When "Can do!" is chosen...]

Flavio: That is my boy! I knew you would go forth with boldness! We count upon

[As Mario and the others go through the Keelhaul Key, they eventually hear

Voice: These cursed ghosts... Blast it all!

[Mario notices Bobbery, a Toad, and Four Eyes. Two ghosts are surrounding them]

Bobbery: By Blubbery's blotches! Is that Mario over there? You're alive, old
         boy! Right! You came just in the nick of time! Get these two out of
         here this instant!

Keelhaul Key Toad: Huh? But what about you, Admiral? You've gotta get out of
                   here, too!

Bobbery: Just leave it to me, eh? I'll keep these gouls busy while you get out
         of here! Flee! That's an order! Let me do what I must do! NOW, AWAY
         WITH YOU!

[He throws Four Eyes and the Toad]

Keelhaul Key Toad: Aaaaaaaah!

Four Eyes: Well, Bobbery here thinks it's the right to do! So what are we
           waiting for?

[Four Eyes takes Mario and they escape to the previous area]

Keelhaul Key Toad: ...Oh, Bobbery, please forgive our cowardice! We up and left
                   you and... Everything was happening so quickly... Forgive

[The Toad runs off]

Four Eyes: Gone, eh? Excuse me, but I'd better be going also...

[He runs off and comes back]

Four Eyes: And hey! You! Out there in front of the TV! Yeah, I'm talking to
           YOU! It may be pretty obvious to you who I really am, but no telling
           Mario! Or else!

[He runs off]

Vivian: "You out there in front of the TV"? Uh, does that make sense to anyone

[Mario goes back to Flavio and his crew, then talks to him]

Flavio: Ah! You are still alive! Well, we have some fortune left! Such relief
        for Flavio! I thought some jungle beast was snacking on you! Well,
        everyone is accounted for... ...Now, wait one moment! Am I wrong, or...
        are we still one man short?

Keelhaul Key Toad: Th-Th-That's right! B-B-Bobbery sacrificed himself to save
                   us from the ghosts! Please! We've got to go back and help

Flavio: What lunacy bursts forth from your mouth? The admiral lives?!? What
        fortitude! Mario! Front and center! I entrust you with the mission to
        save our dear admiral!

[Mario goes back to the bridge area, and keeps going. In the next area...]

Voice: Urggh... Ugghh... Yuuurghh... So this is how a legend of the sea meets
       his end, eh?

[Mario walks up to a tree surrounded by ghosts. He defeats them. After the
 battle, Mario hits the tree with his hammer]

Voice: Ooh! The pain of it all!

[Bobbery falls down]

Bobbery: Oooooh... Mario, old boy...

Bobbery: Ugh... HACK! Urfffff... I guess those blokes got me a bit better than
         I thought... Mario... Please hear my last request... I must thank you
         for taking me out to sea one last time...

Bobbery: But there is one thing I need before I go to my rest... Chuckola
         Cola... I was saving that one bottle, my last memory of Scarlette...to
         celebrate reaching here... I saw it among the floatsam drifting toward
         the island, so it must be somewhere... If I might just have one sip
         before my final voyage... HAAAAACK! PBBBTTHH! Uuurrrrgh... Get me that
         Chuckola Cola, old boy...

[Mario goes back to Flavio and speaks with him]

Flavio: Hm? What is that you say? ...Chuckola Cola? Well... Why would I have
        that? ...But, er, yes, by the way... Flavio is merely curious... What
        do you need it for?

[Mario responds]

Flavio: What, now? The admiral may soon perish? And he wants to drink it as his
        last wish? Ah... So, what we are dealing with here is sort of a last
        request, am I correct? Well, Flavio has no choice. I found it on the
        beach, but for this noble cause...I yield.

Flavio: ...HOWEVER! This Chuckola Cola is part of my...errr...I mean, OUR
        supplies, which we need to survive. So, I will need you to find
        something to eat to replace this! On this, I do not budge! Hmmm, yes...
        I am sure this is something on this island that would be a suitable

[Mario finds a Coconut from a tree, then talks to Flavio]

Flavio: So, what will you give me in exchange for this delectable Chuckola
        Cola, hmmm? Make it good! I am the editor of "Foppish Gourmet Weekly",
        so I know my delicacies!

[Mario gives him a Coconut]

Flavio: Ah...HA! A Coconut, is it not? Well, that IS island fare, but somewhat
        cliched... Ah, well, perhaps I had set my hopes too high for a foraging
        non-gourmand such as you... Well, here you go! Take the Chuckola
        Cola...and give my regards to the admiral!

[He gives Mario the Chuckola Cola]

Flavio: Tell him to waft the bouquet, swizzle it gently, and savor all of the
        fine fizziness!

[Mario goes back to the area where Bobbery is, then he gives him Chuckola Cola]

Bobbery: Hmm? Sniff! SNIIIIFFFF! Ah, that distinctive bouquet! You... You've
         brought it? Gulp... Slurp... AHHHH! This glorious flavor, dear boy...
         It awakens the mouth! So, the sea was generous enough to deliver me
         this one last grace, eh?

Bobbery: I have nothing left in this world now... Thank you for granting my
         last wish... Now I shall be reunited with my dear Scarlette... Fare...
         well... Captain...Mario... .......................

[Mario hits him with the hammer]

Bobbery: HUP! HUP! WOT WOT?!? Yobbity yobbity...PIRATES! Where are those

Vivian: Poor Bobbery... He's still pretty shaken up...

Bobbery: ...What, now? Oh... Mario, old boy, it's you! You have adventures in
         the afterlife, as well? Capital!

Vivian: But, Bobbery, you're not in the afterlife! You're still alive and well!

Bobbery: Ah. Hm. Yes. Well. Really? This isn't a tropical paradise for fallen
         sailors? Oh, right... Now I recall! Mario, old boy... We still have
         work to do! You'd better take me with you, I should say! I'm sure my
         sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?

"Bobbery joined your party!"

"Bobbery's Abilites: A Primer"

"Press X to make Mario throw Bobbery, who will then walk a few steps and

[Mario throws Bobbery and he blows up]

"Use Bobbery's explosions to blast cracks open, destroy walls, and activate
 switches! You can even throw him onto ledges above you! In battle, he can
 detonate on ground-bound enemies! Or, if you like, you can use his Bomb Squad,
 time bombs that explode one turn later!"

[They go back to Flavio and talk to him]

Flavio: Ah! It is Bobbery! Welcome back to you! Do you know how worried we
        were?!? My stomach has been most upset! I must worry about everyone
        here, but who worries for Flavio? No one! Do you know how hard that is
        for me, to sit here in safety and worry so much? I do not know what is
        out there, waiting to lurch in and snack upon me! We do not even know
        how to get home, for the sake of the blue, briny sea! But no more
        yelling! Now is the time to pull together and work as a team!

Bobbery: Flavio, old boy... I must say... You talk rather too much.

Flavio: Such insolence! Grrrrrrrrr! I growl at you like an angry jungle beast!
        I ought to...

Bobbery: ...So in any case, Mario... About that Crystal Star you spoke of
         earlier... There was a rather odd rock in the far east of the jungle
         with a skull carved into it... Call it an old sea bomb's intuition,
         but that skull rock smells...suspicious.

Pa-Patch: Heh heh... Hey, Bobbery. You wanna know what really smells

[Pa-Patch whispers to himself]

Pa-Patch: Oy, smells like low tide! WAAAR HAR HAR HAR HAR! But, seriously...
          You may be onto sonefin' wif that skull rock... I say that's where
          the treasure is...

Flavio: Well, anyone could figure that out, you mutinous joker. I mean, HOW
        obvious! I was already saying in my head that the treasure is certainly
        behind that rock! And as such, I will continue the noble duty of
        protecting this camp from invasion... Captain Mario! Carry on! I am
        sorry to make so many requests, but, you know...

Bobbery: Flavio, you old cash-grubber! If you want the treasure, why don't you
         go get it yourself?

Flavio: Oh, well... Yes, uh, Admiral... You see, I...

[He looks around]

Flavio: ...Well, yes, you have a point. Let us decide this fair and square,
        shall we? Listen to me, everyone! Who thinks I should go along to
        investigate the skull rock?

[Everyone agrees]

Bobbery: There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?

Flavio: ...Um, no. Not fair. Flavio hates you all.

"Flavio will join you for a short time!"

[Mario and the others go with Flavio to the skull heads]

Flavio: Ah! Now what is all this? A dead end, taunting Flavio with its dead
        end-ness... ...But hmmmmm... Is this... I think this is the skull rock
        Blobbery blabbered about... Well, it positively reeks of ancient
        secrets, yes? Let us plunge into this puzzle!

[Flavio walks off. Mario examines the skull head at the end of the path]

"A large stone blocks the way. It seems to be carved into the shape of a
 skull. There is a space in one of the eyes where you could conceivably place

Bobbery: Mario, old boy... I've a gut feeling that Flavio's gem might fit in
         that eyehole...

[Mario speaks to Flavio]

Flavio: *singing Skull captain casts his gaze! Red jewel shines and plays!
        Boom-bassa-boom festival! The 'Stache borthers, best of friends! 3
        times Red 'Stache lands on his end! Blue Stache's belly 4 times is
        whacked, so let's hear those fireworks go BOOM! At the boom-bassa-boom
        festivaaaal! I am just singing to while away the time... It is not like
        Flavio is scared or anything! But do you know something? I have never
        been able to know that song's meaning...

[Mario responds]

Flavio: What is it you ask of me? You want Flavio to lend you something, is
        this correct? Now, what could I possibly have that you would need with
        such anxiousness?

 - Chuckola Cola
 - Coins
 - Skull Gem

[If "Chuckola Cola" is chosen...]

Flavio: What?? You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scoff at
        you! You ask too much, little man! ...Except... WAIT! I already gave
        that to you, you rat!

[If "Coins" is chosen...]

Flavio: What? You want me to lend you coins, you poor pauper? I must scoff at
        you! What on earth do you need coins for on a deserted island, anyway?
        Hmmm? Think before you speak, you foolish thing! THINK!

[If "Skull Gem" is chosen...]

Flavio: What?!? You want me to lend you the Skull Gem? You really, really need
        it? This is the heirloom of the House of Flavio, you know... ...But I
        suppose it is all right... Because I am Flavio! He of such ludicrous
        wealth! I'm just LENDING it, though! Do not dare run off with it! Do
        not make me dock pay!

[Mario gets the Skull Gem. He places it into the eyehole, then he solves a
 short puzzle. Then, a ledge opens up above the skull head. Mario throws
 Bobbery up there and he blows up, blowing up the dead end and revealing the
 entrance to a cave]

Flavio: OH, SUCH EXCITEMENT! The cave entrance! Hm? Huh? What? Ah! My Skull
        Gem! M-M-Mario! What were you thinking? That gem was part of the House
        of Flavio!

[The Skull Gem falls down to Flavio]

Flavio: WHEW! Oh, what a happy day! I have my Skull Gem back! My jolliness has
        no end!

[He takes the gem]

Flavio: Now, then... I'm sure you're all disappointed, but Flavio must be
        heading back now. I cannot let those back at camp worry about me
        further. You two understand, yes? ...So... Let me know when you find
        that glittery treasure, all right?

[Flavio walks off, and Mario and Bobbery enter the cave]


Pirate's Grotto

"Month   Day O
 Scoffing at danger, my brave explorers entered the cave. Will they actually
 find the pirate king's treasure? I tremble with anticipation..."

[As Mario and the others proceed to the next room...]

Voice: ...OoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOo... ...oOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoO...

[They go through more of the grotto. After awhile...]

Voice: ...OoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOo... ...Tuuuuuuuuurn baaaaaack...

Voice: ...OoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOo... ...Gooo noooooo fuuuurther... ...Or you
       will never leave...

[Later, Mario encounters a black chest in a wrecked boat]

Black Chest: YORK!

[It wiggles]

Black Chest: Oh, sweet, sweet salvation! I thought no one would ever come! I
             had given up!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: ...What's that? Spare you the prologue and just curse you already?

[Mario nods]

Black Chest: Now... How did you know I was gonna do that?

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: No seriously, hang on a sec'! Can't you just listen to my spiel
             for a little bit? I've been locked here forever, bored stiff,
             doing NOTHING but practice this speech!

[Mario responds]

Black Chest: ...Huh? I'm already the fourth cursing chest you've met? Are you
             serious? So...you're saying you know exactly how this is all going
             to turn out? Man, talk about a raw deal! You're a twisted little
             guy, you know that?

[Mario nods]

Black Chest: OK, fine, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture, OK? Sheesh! All I
             wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped
             out... Is that so much to ask? No. Anyway, what are you waiting
             for? Just open it, already. You know what the key looks like, Mr.
             Seen-It-All-Already! Some ghost here has it... So just beat him,
             get it, and we'll get this farce over with. Come now, I'm

[A ghost appears and Mario defeats it, then takes the Black Key. He then talks
 to the chest again]

Black Chest: Yeah, yeah. Whoop-dee-doo. You got the key. Party time. Now let me
             out, already.

[Mario unlocks the chest]

Black Chest: All right. Here we go... Since you're just itching to get this
             over with... A-HEM! WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!

[The monster appears]

Monster: You dopes fell right into my absolutely brilliant trap! And now you
         will SUFFER! Oh, yeah! I am so EVIL! Bathe in the foul, awful...
         ...Wait, what was next? Oh, yeah! You fools will be cursed forever for
         your appalling stupidity! You will rue the day you opened this chest
         of DOOM! Now, you wretched guy! B-E C-U-R-S-E-D!!

[Mario gets cursed]

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, but good! SUFFER! SUFFER!
         SUFFER! Wait, that's maybe too much. Are you all right? That didn't
         really hurt, did it? Whee hee hee hee hee! Good! Squirm and suffer
         like socially awkward worms! From now on, in certain places, if you
         press Y, you'll turn into a paper boat! Isn't that just GRUESOME?!?

[A boat panel is shown]

Monster: Just try it out so I can see the depth of your humiliation! Feel the
         terror of your fate! When you stand on one of these Boat Panels, the
         panel will feel your curse and glow!

[Mario stands on it]

Monster: Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press Y! Become a paper

[Mario becomes a paper boat]

Monster: Whee hee hee hee hee! Oh, yes, such suffering! Do you feel the horror?
         Now you're a piddly little boat! Whee hee hee hee! You float on the
         water! People will laugh at you! You will be spit upon! ...But it only
         works in certain places, so don't worry, it's not too bad.

[Mario sails like a boat, then goes back to the boat panel]

Monster: When you want to return to normal, approach the panel and press Y!
         Now! Try it, worm!

[Mario returns to normal]

Monster: Yes! Your pain is like a tasty banquet to me! Now, do you understand
         your doom?

 - Run that by me again.
 - Yeah, I get it.

[If "Run that by me again." is chosen...]

Monster: You IDIOT! Just press Y! Try it again!

[The tutorial repeats itself from there. If "Yeah, I get it." is chosen...]

Monster: Then off with you, you jaded, cursed, boat guy! Oh, and hey, listen...
         Thanks for letting me do my thing. I feel better.

[The monster disappears]

Bobbery: Ah... Well, I say, that curse chap seems rather a bit of all right,

[They continue through more of the grotto. Eventually...]

Voice: ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOoO... ...oOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoO...

Bobbery: By Chowderton's cheeks! That dreadful voice again... Those ghosts must
         be near...

[Shortly after, Mario floats as a boat. In another area...]

Voice: Hey! Something's coming! There! Floating on the water!

[Many Toads are shown]

Grotto Toad #1: Is that a... Is that a boat? HEY! OVER HEEEEEEEEERE! SAVE US,

[Mario makes his way to a boat panel, where he returns to normal. He hits two
 switches somewhere in the room, which creates a path for the Toads]

Grotto Toad #2: Hey! We can cross over now!

Grotto Toad #3: Hey! Hey! What are we waiting for? Let's go!

[All of the Toads cross the path, along with Frankie and Francesca. Mario also
 crosses the path]

Grotto Toad #4: I don't know how you did it, but you saved us!

Grotto Toad #4: We came here looking for that pirate treasure, and then,
                well... Our ship got surrounded by ghosts out on the ocean...
                And we all ended up here!

Francesca: Hey! Aren't you Mario?!?

[Francesca walks up to him]

Francesca: It's me! Me! Don Pianta's daughter! Francesca! And Frankie's here,

[Franky walks up to Mario as well]

Francesca: After my dad forgave us, we set out on a trip... The ship we were on
           got a little too close to this island...and now look at us! Still,
           I'm amazed the rumors about Cortez were all true! ...Which means...
           he's nearby!

[Mario responds]

Francesca: Hey, so, by the way... Why are YOU here? Don't tell me Daddy had you
           come here to take us back!

[Mario responds]

Francesca: What?!? You're after the pirate's treasure because it might contain
           a Crystal Star? Well, I think the treasure is right in there,
           watched by Cortez's spirit... Yeah.... I'm sure you'll be able to
           take care of him, though! You look tough! Besides, Cortez is the one
           that trapped us on that raft, so smack him one for me!

[Mario and the others continue to the next area]

Voice: Buh-WHOA!

[Four Eyes enters the area]

Four Eyes: Whoa, did I surprise you? Yeah, sorry about that... See, I actually
           followed you in here, but I got lost along the way, and, uh... Well,
           anyway, I followed this path, and I finally caught up with you, and
           then... Listen, just forget it, OK? I'm sure the Crystal Star is
           inside that pirate ship! And the pirate king Cortez is in there,
           too, I'm pretty sure... Yeah, probably. No big deal, though, right?
           You can take him, big guy! We're counting on you! Boy, I know I sure
           am... And so is Grodus...

[Mario continues into Cortez's ship]

Voice: ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOoOo... ...You ignored my warning...
       ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOoOo... Come insider the doooooor... And be
       lost in darkness....

[In Cortez's room...]

Voice: ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOoOoOo... Come intooooooooo my... HACKPTH!
       HORK! AHEM! ...OoOoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOoOo...

[Cortez appears]

Cortez: Enough! I grow tired of this spooky "OoOoO" business! I am a pirate,
        blast it! Pirates do not MOAN! I am a cold-blooded villain who robs
        innocents of life and loot, not a crying ghost!

Cortez: And...you...are...after... My TREASURE!!!

Cortez: And this! This is my ship! What are you doing here? Speak! I'll turn
        your mustache into a bone-polisher, amigo! Yohohohohohohohohoho!

[A battle commences. After a lot of hits...]

Cortez: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I can't take much more of this... This
        calls for something special...

[He floats to the crowd]

Cortez: Now you will see the true might of my spirit form!

[He eats half of the crowd, regaining all of his lost HP. After the battle, his
 ship starts to rumble]


[Cortez disappears, then reforms]

Cortez: Yohohohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead! Well,
        technically, I was already dead...but my spirit endures, tied to my
        treasure! So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo! Still,
        guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as

[Mario responds]

Cortez: What? You are not even interested in my treasure?

[Mario nods]

Cortez: Then why are you here?

[Mario responds. Cortez floats to the Crystal Star]

Cortez: Huh?!? You want this, amigo!

[Mario nods]

Cortez: This little rock over here? Are you serious?

Cortez: Well, that's no big deal... Here, take it. What do I need one or two
        extra gems for? I did not really like that one, anyway.

"You got a Crystal Star! Your Star Power is now 6! And Mario learned the
 special move Sweet Feast!"

"Cortez, scourge of the seas... Mario soundly defeated this fearful spirit and
 claimed the Crystal Star. Perhaps the peaceful citizens of the world no longer
 need fear Cortez and his fell ship... The only problem remaining is how Mario
 will escape this isolated island... And could there be another problem still,
 hiding beneath our hero's nose?"

Cortez: Well, that should do it! If you don't need anything esle, away with
        you, amigo!

"Month   Day O
 And then, I heard something my ears could not believe... We had actually
 discovered the legendary treasure of the pirate king, Cortez!"

[Mario exits the boat, and goes back to the area with Frankie, Francesca, and
 the Toads]

Grotto Toad #4: Whoa! That was like an earthquake in there! Are you all right?

[Mario responds]

Grotto Toad #4: YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You beat Cortez? WOW! You're really

Grotto Toad #5: YESSSSS! Now that you've got some free time, why don't you get
                us out of here?

Grotto Toad #6: Umm...

Grotto Toad #6: All that shaking caused this wall here to crack a bit... I feel
                a breeze... If we could break down this wall, I think we could
                escape... I guess that's not much help...

Grotto Toad #5: What?!? A breeze?!? How are we gonna bust that solid rock,

[Mario jumps up to the ledge with the crack in the wall, then he blows it up
 using Bobbery]

Grotto Toad #6: Ha, it worked just like I said! ...Well, me first!

[Another Toad jumps onto the ledge]

Grotto Toad #5: C'mon, everybody! Let's get out of here!

[Frankie and Francesca jump onto the ledge]

Francesca: This damp cave air is just not good for my skin! Let's go, Frankie!

[Frankie and Francesca leave, along with all Toads except one]

Grotto Toad #7: You saved our lives, man! I'll never forget you! But...I need
                to leave NOW!

[The Toad leaves, along with Mario]


Keelhaul Key

[Mario goes to where Frankie, Francesca, and the Toads are. As he keeps going,
 Flavio, Pa-Patch, and a Toad from Keelhaul Key appear]

Flavio: Ah, Mario! Welcome back to you, my stalwart captain! So... Have you
        found the treasure? How is our little expedition faring, hm?

[Mario responds]

Pa-Patch: What?!? The spirit o' Cortez was guardin' the treasure? An' you beat
          'im, but you left all the treasure there?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! What
          were you THINKIN'?!? Were you tryin' to be NICE?!? Awww, well...
          That's what I like about you, I guess...

[The Toad notices his brother]

Keelhaul Key Toad: ...Could it be? B-Brother?

Grotto Toad #1: You... What are you doing here?

Keelhaul Key Toad: I... I... I came looking for you, Brother... All the way to
                   this island, I came looking... But ghosts attacked us... And
                   our boat sank... But I've found you now!

Grotto Toad #2: Huh? Your boat sank, too...? ...So you're all stranded here, as

[Everyone hears a big boom]

Keelhaul Key Toad: What?!? Hold on!!! Huh?!? What was that?!?

[They notice cannonballs being shot into the water]

Pa-Patch: AAAAACK! What is THAT?!?

[A ship is shown]

Four Eyes: Pardon me, guys... Buh huh! I mean... Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! BUH HUH
           HUH HUH HUH!

[Four Eyes jumps onto the cannon]

Four Eyes: So sorry to surprise you... No, wait... No need for that fake
           politeness anymore... Good job getting the Crystal Star! Oh, yeah!
           Seriously! Good job getting it for ME!

Pa-Patch: Oy, now... Ain't that good ol' Four-Eyes?

Grotto Toad: Yeah, that IS Four-Eyes? What's he doing over there? HEEEEEEEY!

[The cannon continues firing]

Four Eyes: Pffffft! What's with this lukewarm reception, huh? Dramatic
           entrance, here! Oh, whatever! I'll spell it out for you idiots! You
           may have known me as Four-Eyes... But I'm actually...

[He takes off his suit, revealing Crump]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! The great LORD CRUMP!!! Oh, MAN, did I fool
            you! I was the mastermind in the shadows, running this voyage! It
            HURTS to be this good!

Lord Crump: Now, Mario! Enough of this! I'm on a schedule, here! Hand over the
            Crystal Star! ...Because you know what'll happen if you don't...

[The cannon keeps firing]

            HUH HUH!

Flavio: AIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YIKES! Four-Eyes was a pirate all this time?
        Madness! Well, what are we all standing around for? Cannons, people! We
        must flee!

Pa-Patch: Look, we're sailors... We're not much good for anythin' wifout a ship
          to sail!

Flavio: Wait! I have it! I am a genius! We have a ship at hand! And a fine one,
        I must say! Mario! Take me...to Cortez! Yes, my brain remembered what
        you said! You said that Cortez had a ship! If the legend is true, then
        we should be unstoppable in that cursed ship!

Keelhaul Key Toad: Flavio, what are you talking about? That's crazy! This is
                   Cortez the pirate you're talking about, here! Even if Mario
                   did beat him... Why would he lend YOU his ship, huh? He'll
                   cream you! Kuh-ree-eem you!!

Flavio: Hey! I may be a coward and a cad, but I still lead you! I have a duty
        to protect you! We will be cannon fodder if we sit and wag our tongues!
        We must at least try Cortez! I want to hear no complaints! I am your
        leader, and I will negotiate with this Cortez! Now, Mario! Take me to
        this pirate scum, this instant!

[Mario goes with Flavio to the Pirate's Grotto]


Pirate's Grotto

[Mario heads back into Cortez's ship. In his room, Cortez appears]

Cortez: ...OoOoOoOooOooOoOoOoOoOoOo... ...Oh, what? It is you again? Did you
        forget something?

Flavio: *horrified* C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Cortez! I-I-I-I have to speak with you!
        C-C-C-C-Could you lend me your sh-sh-sh-ship?

Cortez: WHAAAT? What would possess me to lend you my ship? ...And who are you,

Flavio: *horrified* M-M-M-M-My name is Flavio! We are in big trouble, and we
        could really use your ship! We must protect our crew from bad pirates
        that are blasting us to bits! So we just need to borrow your ship for
        the teensiest little while...

Cortez: What are you talking about, muchacho? I do not rent this ship for
        pleasure cruises! And even if I would lend it to you...this ship is
        magical, and it cannot move now... The key to powering this ship is the
        mystical Skull Gem...

Flavio: The...Skull Gem?!? You... You mean this?

[He takes out the gem]

Cortez: YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! You have the Skull Gem!

Flavio: ...Uh, yes, yes, I do, so... All right, what do you say to this
        proposition, then? Take the gem handed down through generations of my
        family, and lend us your ship! I think that is a pretty fair deal, do
        you not think, Cortez, old friend?

Cortez: ...Old friend? Your ancestors stole that gem from  me, you strutting
        peacock! You must be very brave or very, VERY foolish to ask such a
        thing of me! I should turn you into a pinata and throw a party on the

Flavio: W-W-W-Wait just a moment! Do not make me have Mario trounce you again!
        While he fights you, I will throw this stone into the sea where you
        will never find it! How would that be?

Cortez: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH! You rattle my bones, Senor Peacock! ........Very
        well. I accept your bargain, amigo! Now, be very careful with that gem!

Flavio: Ah! Check and mate, Flavio! I did not make my fortune by falling in
        negotiation, no! You can talk your way through any deal, I say! Now,
        you take this...

[Cortez gets the Skull Gem]

Cortez: Ahhhh! Now my precious Black Skull will sail the seas again! I was
        getting quite annoyed by the sound of cannons outside, anyway! Now I
        can really stretch my bones and wreak havoc on the seas like in the old

Flavio: So, Mario! Feel free to thank me anytime for saving us all! But for
        now...we sail!

[Cortez disappears. Back on the outside of the ship, everyone is on board]

Grotto Toad: Hey! We're coming, too!

Francesca: Let's take them! C'mon! All for one, guys!

Pa-Patch: Oy! I ain't lettin' ol' Flavio Fancy-Pants hog the glory! Come on,
          Captain 'Stache!

[Cortez appears]

Cortez: It's been a millennium since I gazed out upon the sea! Come! To the
        open waters!

[Ghosts appear on the ship]


Keelhaul Key

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! I got ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom-

Cortez: You fire cannons here... Without my permission? You have nerve, mortal!

[Cortez busts through the grotto with his ship]

Lord Crump: WHAT THE???

[Crump's boat is full of X-Nauts. The boats sail next to each other]

Lord Crump: GRRRRGH! I'm gonna sink this ratty old ghost ship to the bottom of
            the ocean!

Cortez: Hear my voice, spirits! Take their ship and show them the meaning of

[The spirits and the X-Nauts fight]

Flavio: Mario, my captain, it is now your turn again! Get over there and duel
        that cad!

[Mario jumps over to Crump and they battle]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds...
            ...Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh!

[After a few hits, Crump makes his X-Nauts retreat]

Lord Crump: Buh huh huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh! You're not gonna get off that easily,
            losers! Let's see how you like THIS...

[He calls his X-Nauts]

Lord Crump: X-NAUTS!

[The X-Nauts hang off of a beam. After a few more hits, he exits the stage for
 a moment, and recovers his hearts. He then comes out with lots of X-Nauts]

Lord Crump: Buh-uuuuuuuuuuuuurgh! Man, this is no good! I thought I was almost
            aced for a second there! But you haven't finished me off yet, you
            sea urchins! I'm down, but no WAY I'm out!

[After the battle...]

Lord Crump: MAN, THIS IS GETTING OLD! How could I lose...again?!? I HATE
            LOSING! Now I gotta think of another excuse for Grodus! Grrrrrrr!
            And with that...pow! I'm gone!

[Crump retreats]

Bobbery: We've done it, old boy! I should say he won't be too keen on seeing us
         again, eh?


Peach's Event #5 [PCH5]

[At Grodus's lair, Crump appears on a screen]

Grodus: You blew it again, Lord Crump. You sicken me.

Lord Crump: Look, I'm sorry. Seriously. We thought... We thought we had the guy
            cornered, but...

Grodus: Stop talking, Lord Crump. You just stand by until my next order. And,
        Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?

Lord Crump: Roger that.

Grodus: Then leave.

[The screen turns off]

Grodus: Hey! You there!

[An X-Naut walks up to Grodus]

X-Naut: What is it, sir?

Grodus: Tell the Shadow Sirens to attack Mario again. And tell them not to fail
        this time.

X-Naut: You got it, sir.

[The X-Naut leaves]

Grodus: I have one Crystal Star in my hands...and Mario has five. I must take
        some measures.

[Back at TEC's room, Peach enters]

Princess Peach: *annoyed* TEC called me in here again. I wonder what it is this

TEC: ................

Princess Peach: TEC? Was that noise you? What's wrong?

TEC: I must request that you do something a bit more dangerous this time.

Princess Peach: Dangerous?

TEC: I would like you to sneak into Sir Grodus's room and look for a data disk.

Princess Peach: A data disk? Why would you need that?

TEC: Although I can view all data on the network... I am unable to access the
     data of computers that are not linked to the network. Sir Grodus has
     information that even I am unable to view. But I must know it. I must know
     that information.

Princess Peach: But how will I get in there? Will I be disguised again?

TEC: Not this time. No one other than Sir Grodus can enter his room. When Sir
     Grodus is elsewhere, there are guards outside the room that permit no
     entry. ...But there is a way. You will be fine if you act according to my
     instructions. I must tell you, I do not want to make you do such a
     dangerous thing. But now I have no one to ask but you.

Princess Peach: I don't mind, TEC. Really. Ask me anything.

TEC: Well then, first leave the room and take the elevator up, as you did

[Peach leaves the room and takes the elevator in the hallway up]

TEC: You will first go in the opposite direction of Sir Grodus's room. Exit the
     elevator and enter the room with the green lamp lit above it.

[Peach exits the elevator and enters that room]

TEC: Now I will have you concoct a potion that will make you transparent.

Princess Peach: You mean...a potion that...makes me invisible?!?

TEC: Yes. You will enter Sir Grodus's room by becoming completely invisible.

Princess Peach: Wow...OK. How do I make it?

TEC: You must first set all of the potions on the desk in the Concoctionator.
     It's that machine in the back, but even I do not know which potion to set
     where. There should be memos left in this room by the X-Naut researchers.
     Please use them as references and set the potions in the machine.

[She takes the potions on the table and reads the notes]

"NOTE! Place the blue potion next to the red potion."

"NOTE! Do not place the red potion on the far right."

"NOTE! Place the orange potion between the blue potion and the green potion."

"NOTE! Place two potions between the green potion and the red potion."

[After Peach places the potions in each slot...]

TEC: Are you sure they are placed to your liking?

 - Yes
 - No

[If "No" is chosen...]

TEC: Then please set them again.

[If "Yes" is chosen...]

TEC: Very well. Then please cue the button on the control panel located on the
     left side of the room.

[Peach presses a button which makes the beaker start]

TEC: Please press the button where the beaker stops to dispense each potion.

[After mixing the potions...]

TEC: I will heat the mixed potion in the beaker for 30 seconds. Press the
     button exactly 30 seconds after the heating starts to stop the machine.

[After the heating...]

TEC: By my calculations, it should be finished, but... Did it come out
     correctly, do you think?

 - Yes
 - No

[If "No" is chosen, you must mix the potions again. If "Yes" is chosen...]

TEC: Very good. Then please drink it. All of it, if you please.

Princess Peach: What? Drink THIS? Is it safe? It smells...really funky.

TEC: Please, you must drink it.

[Peach drinks it. If the mixing was successful...]

TEC: You have done it. You have successfully made yourself transparent.
     Congratulations. But...I must ask you to take off your dress, however.
     Even the potion cannot make the dress invisible.

Princess Peach: What?!? That's indecent! No way!

[After a few seconds...]

Princess Peach: ...Oh, fine. I guess... If it's the only way.

[She walks off screen and takes off her dress, becoming invisible completely]

TEC: When you go into Sir Grodus's room, first locate the disk with the
     recorded data. Then insert that disk into the personal computer and
     connect to the network. When you are finished with that, please come back
     to this room. I will teach you how to make yourself normal again.

Princess Peach: Gee, this is kind of a complicated plan, huh?

TEC: ...I suppose. Now, please go to Sir Grodus's room.

[She exits the room]

X-Naut: Whuh? OK, that was creepy. Why did the doors open even though there's
        no one here? A malfunction? Or am I just totally losing it here?

[Peach goes to Grodus's lair. Inside, she goes through the door in the back]

Princess Peach: This must be Grodus's room. Now, where is that disk?

[She finds the disk on a shelf]

Princess Peach: Found it! This MUST be it!

[She takes the disk]

Princess Peach: Umm... Oh, yeah! Now I insert the disk into the computer and
                connect to the network...

[She inserts the disk into Grodus's computer]

Princess Peach: I did it. YESSS! I DID IT! It's working!

[After getting the data...]

Princess Peach: Looks like it's all done... I'd better put the disk back where
                I got it...

[She puts the data disk back on the shelf]

Princess Peach: There. Like I was never here!

[She goes back to the potion room]

TEC: Thank you, Princess Peach. I was able to obtain the data I desired.

Princess Peach: Is that right? Well, I'm glad.

TEC: Now I will teach you how to become visible again. It is quite simple,
     actually. Merely drink the green potion. You will revert to normal

Princess Peach: OK. Just hang on one minute...

[She puts her dress back on]

Princess Peach: OK, NOW I'm ready. Let's see here. The green potion, right?

[She drinks the green potion, returning to normal]

Princess Peach: What a relief! I was kind of worried that I might never become
                visible again.

TEC: There was never any danger of that. Now, please return to the computer

[She goes back to TEC's room]

Princess Peach: Say, by the way, TEC... What was that data?

TEC: I am still analyzing it. The data is very heavily encrypted. But if my
     prediction is correct...

Princess Peach: If it's correct...what?

TEC: No. I cannot afford any mistakes or assumptions. I will let you know when
     my analysis is complete. Now, please use the communicator, if you wish.

Princess Peach: ...OK. You'll tell me when you decipher the data, huh? Good.
                Then I'll use the communicator, thanks.

[She types a message to Mario]

Princess Peach: I've written my message. Would you send it?

[TEC sends the message]

TEC: The message has been sent. We are done for now. Please go back to the

Princess Peach: OK. Take care, TEC.

[She walks to the door]

TEC: Thank you, Princess Peach.

Princess Peach: Why, you're welcome, TEC!

[She walks off]

TEC: Princess Peach... I will protect you...


Bowser's Event #5 [BWS5]

[At Twilight Town, Bowser and Kammy Koopa arrive]

Bowser: Bleck! What is this place? Why is the light so weird here? It's
        spooking me out!

Kammy Koopa: The light's odd because this is Twilight Town, my lord. Should be
             treasure here... Let's put the screws to one of these creepy
             things and find the Crystal Star!

Bowser: Sounds good to me, Haggy! Let's go to it!

[Lord Crump is wandering about the town. Bowser speaks to him]

Lord Crump: Oh, man... I'm pretty sure Beldam said...she lost her Superbombomb
            somewhere around here... This...stinks. Really. This whole deal is
            exTREMELY BAD! BAD! BAD! BAAAD! I gotta cowboy up and make a
            serious comeback here. Or else...

[He examines a bush and finds the Superbombomb]

Lord Crump: Bam! Got it! I am the MAN! Now we can crush Mario and get the
            Crystal Stars ine one fell swoop! Hot-diggety-DOG! Buh! Buh! Buh
            huh huh! The luck of the moon is still riding shotgun with me!

Kammy Koopa: You there! Suspicious guy! You know something about the Crystal
             Stars, don't you?

[He turns around and sees Bowser and Kammy Koopa]

Lord Crump: Buh? Somebody there? Hey! What's the big idea, Turtle Boy? You
            looking for the Crystal Stars, too? Sweet! This'll help the Crump
            comeback! Now, then! Let's get to it! You'll be telling me
            everything you know. Now.

Bowser: Uh, actually, it's YOU who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your
        big, ugly head! Yeah. Sorry about that. And if you hesitate at all,
        I'll show you no mercy!

Lord Crump: Wh-Whoa there, big guy... I mean...NO! Wait! What am I afraid of?
            You? Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! If you think you can take me, then try
            it, Chubby! All troops, REPORT!

[He calls an army of X-Nauts]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Yeah? You like that? Kind of a lot of dudes,
            huh? You feel like talking yet?

[Bowser and Kammy Koopa walk up]

Kammy Koopa: Mweh heh heh heh heh! You dare scoff at us?!? Koopa Clan...FORM

[Kammy calls an army of Hammer Brothers and Magikoopas]

Lord Crump: Whoa! Well played!

Kammy Koopa: Mweh heh heh heh heh! So, what's it gonna be, tough guy?

[Crump gets an idea]

Lord Crump: Buh huh! Oh, I gotta laugh! THIS is why I keep one of these
            around! Sorry, suckers! Eat this, turtle dorks! SUPERBOMBOMB!

[He throws the Superbombomb at Bowser]

Bowser: INCOMING!!!

[It hits Bowser, and nothing happens]

Bowser: Huh? That was it? That was your big weapon? It didn't even go off! GWA
        HA HA HA HA HA HA! This is how you do it, amateur! Watch and learn!

[He breathes fire on it, and the Superbombomb explodes]


Before Chapter Six [BFC6]

Keelhaul Key

[Back at Keelhaul Key...]

Cortez: You... You have distinguished yourself in battle, amigo! You are worthy
        in my eyes! You may use this ship, the Black Skull, anytime you like!

Flavio: Ah, many thanks to you! This ship can get us back to Rogueport in no
        time! Let us get away from this coconut pit and back home! Come,

Grotto Toad #1: Ahhh, I can't wait to get home... We've been looking forward to
                this for SO long!

Grotto Toad #2: Returning home alive is all the treasure I need! For real! Now
                get this boat moving!

Flavio: Well, that is all there is to it, then, am I not correct? To sea,
        Captain Mario!

[Flavio gets on the Black Skull]

Voice: Ahhhh, Mario...

[Mario sees Francesca, Frankie, and Pa-Patch]

Francesca: We're going to stay here. It's been tough at times, but I think we
           like this place! Yes... I think I can make a fine life here with my
           sweet Frankie.

Frankie: Hey, Mario. Give my regards to da boss, will ya?

Pa-Patch: Yeah, I'm gonna stay here. It's a right nice place to live wifout
          any ghosts, eh?

Bobbery: Yes, very good. They'll be rather happy here, eh? Let's be on our way,

[Mario nods. They jump on the Black Skull]

Cortez: Ready, amigos? Cast off!

[They sail away]

"Month   Day O
 And thus our adventure came to an exciting end, ah? The ship sailed smoothly
 on to Rogueport, and soon we saw the harbor off our bow. I did not find
 treasure, but I am satisfied nonetheless, strange though it sounds. For I have
 found something even more precious doubloons. Yes... Even now, I hear the crew
 readying to dock. The time is ripe to close this journal. To all who wander
 the seas... Flavio's blessing upon you!"



[Back at the harbor...]

Flavio: At last we return, slathered in glory, to my hometown: sweet Rogueport!

Flavio: Of course, it is only because of my courageous efforts that we return
        at all, ah? But, of course, you all know that, and know it well...

Grotto Toad: Yes, yes, Master Flavio.

Grotto Toad: But now, please excuse us. Perhaps chance will bring us all
             together again someday.

[The Toads run off]

Flavio: Wh-What? Hey! Where are... Y-You're all leaving already? Ah... That was

Flavio: Such is life, Captain Mario. You are anxious to continue your own
        adventure also, ah?

[Mario nods]

Flavio: One day you may surpass the great and fabulous Flavio in greatness nd
        fabulousness. It is not likely, I assure you, but you should, how you
        say, shoot for the stars, ah? If ever you should reach the pinnacle,
        remember to shout "FLAVIO" to the wind!

Cortez: That reminds me, amigo...

Cortez: If you ever get the urge to return to Keelhaul Key, just say the word,
        OK? I will send you to the island faster than the fastest winds blow,

Flavio: Yes, yes, you giant skull, you. Your time in the spotlight is done. Get
        over yourself. AHEM! Well, my adoring fans have gone, so I will be
        excusing myself now, as well. If you see me in town, I would permit you
        to say hello to me. May we meet again, ah?

[Flavio runs off]

Bobbery: Well, well, well, old boy... I should think we'd head for that door at
         this point.

[As Mario proceeds, he gets an e-mail]

Bobbery: On your toes, old bean! That can only be an e-mail from Princess

"Dearest Mario, I have good news! I don't know where I'm being held, but
 there's an odd computer called TEC here. By cooperating with this TEC, I've
 managed to obtain some of these fiends' data. TEC is currently analyzing it...
 and as strange as it may sound, I trust him. Once his analysis is done, I
 should be able to provide you with details of their plans. I'll e-mail you
 again once I learn more. Be good, OK?"
                       -Princess Peach-

Bobbery: Great Goobery! Your princess is no one to be trifled with! We'd best
         get to work, too!

[They go to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

[At the Thousand-Year Door room, Mario holds up the fifth Crystal Star. The
 location of the next one gets recorded on the Magical Map]

"The location of a Crystal Star was recorded on your Magical Map!"

Bobbery: Right! Let's pop in on that professor fellow.



[At Frankly's office...]

Professor Frankly: Great news, my friends! The next Crystal Star is in Poshley

[He closes a book]

Bobbery: Wait a tick! I've heard tell that only the rich and famous call that
         place home...

Professor Frankly: Yes, yes, and I'm fairly sure there's also a shrine to the
                   stars called Poshley Sanctum. No fearsome monsters or
                   dangerous dungeons, either! It's just a tourist attraction!

Bobbery: Harumph! Sounds positively scintillating, dear boy. Point us there!

Professor Frankly: That's the best part! You ride the most famous train of all!
                   The Excess Express! Yes! After a luxurious steam engine
                   excursion, the next Crystal Star will be yours! Getting
                   those Crystal Stars has been backbreaking work, but this
                   time will be a cinch!

Bobbery: Pardon me for saying so, but mustn't you have wealth or fame to ride
         that train?

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... That may be true. Perhaps you should ask Don Pianta
                   for help with this, too.

Bobbery: Ah...no. Terribly sorry. Mm-mm. Impossible. Can't do it. The man's
         reprehensible! ...Well, drat. I suppose there's nothing for it, eh,
         old boy? If we must, we must. Let's go.

[Mario nods]

Professor Frankly: Excellent. Then we're set! We may not have much time left,
                   so you must hurry. I'll gather all the information I can.
                   You guys just handle your end of things.

[Mario and the others go to Don Pianta's place. Inside, Don Pianta is lying on
 a bed]

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Hey! If it ain't da guys from before! You need to meet
                        wit' da boss once again, eh?

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Well, normally we could, you know, help you out, but...
                        da boss is currently snoozin'.

[He talks to Don Pianta]

Don Pianta: Zzznnnrgh... Francesca...

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Aww... Poor Boss... Da big man's been sick wit'
                        loneliness ever since his daughter skedaddled.

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Our underboss, Frankie, is gone, da boss is in
                        shambles... What's a syndicate ta do? That scruffy gang
                        of punk thieves is stealin' jobs from us right 'an
                        left... Hey, but enough about us an' our stupid
                        problems, huh? What can we do for youse?

[Mario responds]

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Whah? Tickets for da ritziest train around? For da
                        Excess Express?

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Whoa. You want tickets for dat rolling wingding?

[Mario nods]

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Oooooh... Ain't nothin' we can do about dat.

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Yeah, us givin' out tickets? Dat's rich! You got to
                        talk to da boss for dat.

Don Pianta: ...Francesca...

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: I just can't stand seein' da boss like dis...

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: If we just knew where dose newlyweds was, we could take
                        da boss to see 'em...

Bobbery: Hang on. Those two frondy folk, Frankie and Francesca? From Keelhaul

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Who's on da what, now? What did you just say? Repeat

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: You know where da young Miss Pianta is at?!?

[Mario nods]

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Really?!? No lie?!?

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: I swear to you, if you're lyin', I will turn you into
                        confetti, so help me.

[Mario nods]

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Well, if dat's where she is, why don'tcha bring her
                        back here, huh? Be a pal! We'd go ourselves, but we
                        can't leave da boss unprotected, you get me?

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Yeah! You bring us young Miss Francesca... And we'll do
                        what we can to get you your train tickets. We get a
                        deal or whah?

 - Deal!
 - Take a hike, bub!

[When "Deal!" is chosen...]

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: See! Now dat's better.

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: I knew once you understood our predicament, you
                        couldn't refuse. Don't screw dis up!

[They go back to Keelhaul Key]


Keelhaul Key

[At the Keelhaul Key, they go to the jungle area where Frankie and Francesca
 are at]

Francesca: Oh, hi there...Mario. What brings you back here? Can we do something
           for you?

[Mario responds]

Frankie: What?!? Da boss is sick?!?

Francesca: Oh, poor Daddy! Oh, no... And at a time like this...

[Mario is curious]

Francesca: You see, I... I just dropped the wedding ring Frankie gave me around
           here... I can't possibly leave until I find that ring! Otherwise
           something might eat it! It must be somewhere between here and that
           skull rock!

Frankie: Listen for a second, my fuzzy little coconut... Shouldn't we forget
         about dat ring for now an' check on da boss?

Francesca: How could you say that, Frankie? That ring was the symbol of our
           love! We HAVE to find it! We HAVE to! Or...maybe you just don't love
           me anymore, is that it?

Frankie: Of course, I love you... My little bacon burger!

Francesca: None of your sweet talk now! You're going to have to say you love me
           100 times!

Frankie: 100 TIMES?

Francesca: If you love me, you have to say it, Frankie!

Frankie: Oh... C'mon now, babe... Of course I love you, my little short
         stack... Now please, let's go.

Frankie: NO!!! You have to say it 99 more times, Frankie!

Frankie: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Fine, you crazy dame! I love you! I love you!
         I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love
         you! I love you!

                                                                    10 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    11 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    12 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    13 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    14 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    15 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    16 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    17 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    18 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    19 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    20 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    21 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    22 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    23 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    24 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    25 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    26 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    27 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    28 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    29 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    30 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    31 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    32 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    33 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    34 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    35 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    36 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    37 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    38 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    39 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    40 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    41 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    42 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    43 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    44 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    45 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    46 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    47 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    48 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    49 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    50 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    51 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    52 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    53 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    54 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    55 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    56 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    57 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    58 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    59 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    60 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    61 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    62 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    63 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    64 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    65 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    66 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    67 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    68 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    69 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    70 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    71 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    72 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    73 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    74 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    75 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    76 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    77 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    78 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    79 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    80 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    81 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    82 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    83 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    84 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    85 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    86 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    87 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    88 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    89 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    90 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    91 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    92 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    93 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    94 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    95 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    96 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    97 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    98 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                    99 times

Frankie: I love you!
                                                                   100 times

Frankie: Huff...heeeeef...hoooooooof... There, I said it...

Francesca: Oh, Frankie, baby... You're such a silly billy! Hee hee hee!

Frankie: ......... Now, my little cream puff... Let's find dat ring right away,
         whaddaya say?

Bobbery: I say, old boy, do you think these two will be quite all right by
         their lonesomes? I shouldn't think so, me... We should help them...

[Mario nods. He and Bobbery explore more of Keelhaul Key, and eventually they
 find the wedding ring. Mario gives it to Francesca]


Francesca: Frankie! Now we can go home to Daddy!

Frankie: We sure can, my little cheese 'n' cracker! Let's go!

Francesca: *to Mario* ...Well, so, anyway... We'll be down at the dock. Hurry
           back, please!

[Frankie and Francesca leave, and Mario goes back to the Black Skull]

Frankie: OK, Mario... I think we're ready, pal. Yeah, we are. Let's go back to

Francesca: Ohhhhhh, Daddy! Please hang on until we get there!

[They sail back to Rogueport]



Francesca: We have to go see Daddy immediately!

Frankie: You got it, Francesca!

[Frankie and Francesca leave. At Don Pianta's place...]

Francesca: Daddy! Daddy! DADDY! Wake up! Open your eyes!

Frankie: Boss!

[Mario talks to Don Pianta]

Don Pianta: ...................................................................

Francesca: DADDY!

Frankie: BOSS!

Don Pianta: Oh, my little Francesca! You came back for me! An' you, too,

Francesca: Of COURSE we did, Daddy! As soon as we heard you were ill, we
           dropped everything and rushed back!

Don Pianta: Francesca... Frankie... I was wrong. I was a stubborn old man.
            Forgive me. I know I may regret sayin' dis, but...I want da two of
            youse to stay here. Wit' me. I can't bear to be away from you two
            crazy kids. I'm an old man now. I need peace...

[He gets out of bed]

Don Pianta: I guess da time has come for me to stop bein' so selfish, causin'
            everyone trouble... Looks like even Don Pianta, da Don of Untimely
            Death, can't escape da old age... Da time has come, everyone. I'm
            gonna retire.

[Everyone doesn't want him to]

Don Pianta: No. It's time. I mean it. An' I want you to be my successor,
            Frankie. Whaddaya say, Frankie? As of today, you are da new head of
            da Pianta syndicate!

Frankie: Whaaaaat?? B-But...Boss! You still got it in ya! You're a spring
         chicken! You don't gotta do dis! And, I mean... Me? Boss?

Don Pianta: No, you're da one, Frankie. I've been thinkin' dat for a long time
            now. You'll do just fine, kid. I got a feelin' 'bout you. A good
            one. I want you to take care of Francesca an' da rest of the
            syndicate...da way I did.

Frankie: BOSS!!!

Don Pianta: You. Mario. It looks like you done yet another favor for me, kid.

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Yeah...

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Uh, about dat, Boss...

Don Pianta: ...Oh, dis is gonna be just bee-yoo-tiful, I know it. What did you
            guys do?!?

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Well, uh, we kinda promised him somethin', Boss. We
                        told him we'd get him a ticket for da Excess Express if
                        he brought your daughter...

Don Pianta: Whoa ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Is dat all? You had me worried for a
            second! Come on over here, Mario. How many you want? One? Two? Ten?
            Help yourself!

[Mario gets a Train Ticket]

Don Pianta: You come back anytime you like, how 'bout dat?

Don Pianta: Well, now dat I've retired... I'm gonna get out of here.

Francesca: Daddy!!!

Frankie: Boss!!!

Don Pianta: You're da boss now, Frankie! You got dat? You. Da boss. You do
            good, now, Frankie!

[Don Pianta leaves]

Francesca: Frankie! We've got lots of work to do! And don't worry: I'LL keep
           you in line!

Frankie: Sweet bean, c'mon!

Francesca: Knock it off with the pet name nonsense, will you? Call me

Frankie: Huh? F-F-F-F-Fuh... Francesca?

Francesca: Yes! Or "Miss Boss"! Tee hee hee!

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: Underboss... Uh, errrr, I mean...Boss! You got our

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: We'll be by your side whenever you need us, Boss!

Francesca: Thank you so much, Mario. For everything!

Frankie: You're welcome here anytime. You're like a bruddah to me.

Don Pianta Sidekick #1: You ain't bad, kiddo.

Don Pianta Sidekick #2: Yeah! You ever think about joinin' up wit' da
                        syndicate? It's da life, kid!

[Mario and Bobbery exit the office. Back outside by the shop...]

Bobbery: Jolly good show! We'll reach Poshley Heights in time for tea, eh?
         Finding that sixth Crystal Star shouldn't be more taxing than a
         vacastion, eh wot?

[Mario nods]

Voice: Mwee hee hee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies!

[They look around for whoever is talking]

Voice: So, the sixth Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights, is it? That's a rather
       nice piece of information. Thanks ever so!

[Beldam appears]

Bobbery: Harumph! You're Beldam!

Beldam: Normally, this would be where I finally deal with you and that homely
        traitor, Vivian... But something tells me that trying that alone might
        be unwise. So you live, for now. Instead, I'll just beat you to Poshley
        Heights and get that Crystal Star before you do! Mwee hee hee hee hee

[Beldam disappears]

Bobbery: Mario! That bodes ill! I suggest we reach Poshley Heights before that
         crone! Look alive, man! We are off to Rogueport Station!

[They go to the station, and speak with the Excess Express owner]

Train Owner: This train is bound for luxurious Poshley Heights. Will you be
             boarding today?

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Train Owner: Wonderful. If you don't mind, please allow me to check your

[Mario shows him the ticket]

Train Owner: Watch your step, please. ALL ABOARD!!!

[Mario and the others board the train]

Train Owner: ALL ABOARD!!!

[The train takes off]


Chapter 6: 3 Days of Excess [CHP6]

Excess Express

Bobbery: Harumph! The Excess Express! Rather posh, I must say! Yes, rather
         posh, indeed! The three days to Poshley Heights ought to pass in an
         eyeblink, eh, old boy?

[Mario nods. Bobbery notices a note on the ground]

Bobbery: Hm, now? Well, I'll be bombed! What's that on the floor? And when did
         it get there?

[Bobbery looks at it, and Mario walks over there. Bobbery picks it up]

"Don't go to Poshley Heights! Get off the train now, or a sticky, yummy doom
 awaits it!"

Bobbery: Rather odd treat, eh? You don't think that Beldam crone's responsible,
         do you? Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on
         this very train! Let's roust this swine before he or she has the
         chance to cause mischief!

[Mario nods. He and his partner explore the train a bit, then they find the
 train's conductor]

Conductor: Hello to you, and welcome to the Excess Express! I am the conductor
           of this train. And I trust you must be... Mr. Mario, from room 5?
           Make yourself at home, sir.

[Mario responds]

Conductor: What's that?!? Some sort of a sticky, yummy threat?!? I-I see! Good
           gracious me! If I hear anything else, I will let you know

[Mario goes to the kitchen, and everyone is gathered up there]

Pennington: Hmm. Yes. I can say without the slightest hesitation that this
            smells like a case to me. But what shall we call it, that is the
            question before us. Yes, what to call it? Yes! "The Case of the Pot
            of Supper Stew That Vanished Suddenly and Mysteriously"! Indeed.
            That will do nicely.

Pennington: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... My dear train passengers... This is a
            full-fledged mystery, one that impacts you all!


Cheep Cheep Chef: A mystery, you just said? ...And, uh, um, er, exactly...what
                  kind of dish is that?

All: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Pennington: I am known as Pennington.  You likely would not guess it, but I am
            a detective. At the risk of immodesty, you might say I have a
            certain nose for these things. And this little conundrum, my dear
            fellow passengers...poses no challenge...to me.

All: Ooooooooooooooooh...

Pennington: The central clue of this case, and also the most vital one, as it
            happens... Is that our perpetrator took the whole pot, stew and
            all! And this...esteemed friends... Leads me to believe that the
            one responsible...

Pennington: Is YOU, you gluttonous woman!

Girl Toad: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? ME?!? Are you totally koo-koo? I have like,
           NO idea what you're talking about...

Pennington: Errm... Pardon me... Sorry. Please accept my apologies, my dear
            woman. I felt I needed to practice my accusation skills, you
            understand. Yes, sorry.

All: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Pennington: ...Ahem. Very good. Now, let us get serious, shall we? This, I
            believe, will be a case worthy of my intellect! Hmm... Yes...

Rat: Let me get this straight... So, what we know so far... Is that we don't
     know who the culprit is... And, uh... I guess that's about it, right?

Zip Toad: Aw, this scene is for total squares! Forget you guys! I'm going back
          to my room.

Pennington: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmph! You there! In a bit of a hurry to get back to
            your room, eh! You, sir, are highly suspicious! I have just broken
            this case! The true culprit, I believe...is Zip Toad, the actor!

Girl Toad: Zip Toad? THE Zip Toad? Nooooooooooooooooooooo way, Mr. Detective-
           Person! You're just making stuff up! You... You tweedy geezer!

Pennington: Tweedy... Geezer... GEEZER?! I can't say I deserved such a verbal
            thrashing, but... Well, then...who DID do it, hm? Hrrrrrrrrrrrmph!
            This puzzle deepens with every confounding step...

[Mario sees traces on the carpet]

"A clue! There are traces of something on the carpeting."

Bobbery: Wait just one minute, now! I do believe this is spilled stew on the
         carpet! We can just follow the stew trail to our culinary perpetrator,
         eh, old boy? Why, it could even be the coward who wrote that note! The
         sticky, yummy one! ...What makes me say that? I've a sea lion's nose
         for scoundrels, old boy!

[They follow the trail of stickiness to a cabin. Inside...]

Fat Toad: Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?!? BUUUUUUUUURP! Sorry about that.
          Now... What were you just saying? A pot from the kitchen? Oh, I get
          it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy! NOT NICE!!! What?
          Drops of stew on the floor outside? N-No... I wouldn't know anything
          about that! No! People spill stuff! And there's nothing in the
          drawer, so no need to look! You won't find a thing!

[Mario examines the drawer]

"There are several gourmet food magazines here. And one of them is an issue
 devoted to the food of the Excess Express! There is a large photo of Chef
 Shimi on the cover... His smile is just blinding."


"There is something under the magazines!"

[Mario finds a Galley Pot]

Chef Shimi: Doh! ...... I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEEEE!


Pennington: So! You were so enamored of the stew that you wanted to steal it to
            devour more? And you stole the entire pot when the chef was
            chopping shallots? Answer!

Chef Shimi: Yes... Yes, that's right. I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment
            of weakness... Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Pennington: Justice has been served! Very satisfying! May this terrible crime
            never recur! And you, my dear sir... Yes, you with the unkempt
            facial hair! My keen sleuthing instincts indentified you as the
            correct person to collar the ruffian! Now, about that note in your
            room... Yes, I know of it. As the lone detective on this train, the
            conductor confided in me. But we cannot speak here. Find me in room
            6 so that we may discuss this in private...

[Pennington goes to leave]

Pennington: Oh, and please return the pot to the chef, if you could...

[Pennington leaves, and Mario goes to his room]

Pennington: Ah-ha! I have been waiting! I was rather impressed with your work
            on this last case, I must admit. However, I do not think the one
            you apprehended is our sticky, yummy malcontent... I have deduced
            this from the lack of any incriminating clues in his room... In any
            case, I must say... I believe you have a certain knack for
            detective work. So it is decided, then. I shall take you on as my
            new assistant!

[Mario responds]

Pennington: To reiterate... My name is Pennington. I am a detective from
            Poshley Heights. I am known in some circles as "The Pengun With the
            Improbably Large Brain". I am sure you have heard of me, so that is
            all I will say on the subject. And as for your name... Wait! I
            demand you do not tell me. I shall deduce your identity!

Pennington: That mustache... That nose... ...... Ho ho ho! All too easy! You,
            sir, are quite obviously the famed Luigi, are you not?

[Mario responds]

Pennington: No need to introduce yourself! I know all about the famous Luigi!
            Now, about this threat... Our man has declared his intent to
            yummify the train... A sticky, tasty explosion... That family of
            Bob-ombs! They are defenitely suspect! Now, Luigi! We will reduce
            this case to rudimentary facts and deduce the truth!

[Mario leaves Pennington's room, and it is already evening. Mario goes to the
 8th cabin. Inside...]

Goldbob's Wife: I think we should get little Bub the Advanced Learners Classic
                Series of Bob-ombery!

Goldbob: Two words: cheap and boring! Think more luxurious, dear! Perhaps a
         car, or a house!

Goldbob's Wife: Bub is too small for such things, Goldbob! Stop thinking of
                your own social status! He needs something that will further
                his education, not spoil him! Honestly!

Bub: Pfffffffffft! I don't want any of that stuff they're talking about...

Bub: *to Mario* Hey, Mister... Are you a detective now that you quit being a
     champion? Well, so... Think you can detect what I really want for my

 - Sure, I'm a pro!
 - No, I'd rather not.

[When "Sure, I'm a pro!" is chosen...]

Bub: Really? Cool! OK, if you bring me what I really want, then I'll give you
     something in return!

[Mario goes to the end of the train, where the operator is]

Train Operator: Running this train during the sunset is the high point of every
                day for me! So, let's all hear it...for the Excess Express!
                Huzzah! Huzzah!

[After walking around the train and talking with everyone, Mario finds out what
 Bub wants. He talks to the train operator]

Train Operator: You want my autograph, sir? ...Oh, it's for little Bub. Well,
                yes, of course. Here you are, sir...

[He autographs a paper and gives it to Mario]

Train Operator: Gosh... I've never given out an autograph before... That felt

[Mario goes back to Bub]

Bub: Soooooooo... Did you bring me the thing I want most?

[Mario gives him the autograph]

Bub: Hey, yeah, bingo, Mister! That's just what I wanted! You're a good
     detective! Here's something for you, just like I said.

[He gives Mario a Shine Sprite]

Bub: Thanks for the autograph. I'll take good care of it, I promise.

[Mario walks out, and it has become night. He goes back to Pennington]

Pennington: So, it was an autograph, was it, Luigi? Mmmmm...yes. Just as I
            suspected... Oh, the conductor just came by looking for you, Luigi.
            This smells of a new mystery!

[Mario exits and talks to the conductor]

Conductor: Mr. Mario! I'm glad you spoke to me! I just remembered something
           suspicious! I found myself one blanket short when I was handing them
           out to passengers. I gave the last passenger my own blanket to make
           up for it, but it's vexing... I have exact blanket counts. It means
           someone came on board without a ticket... That stowaway just might
           be your suspect, Mr. Mario... Not only that, but if I don't get my
           blanket back, I'll be too chilly to sleep tonight. If you could look
           for the unticketed passenger and get that blanket...I'd thank you.

 - Call me "Blanket P.I."!
 - I don't have time.

[If "I don't have time." is chosen...]

Conductor: Oh, really... That's too bad... I guess I'll just huddle under a
           candy wrapper...

[If "Call me "Blanket P.I."!" is chosen...]

Conductor: Honestly? Great, thanks! Well, I have to keep watch here, but I'll
           be waiting for the good news!

[Mario goes to Cabin 004, which is empty. He hides with Vivian, then a ghost
 appears. He speaks to the ghost]

Ghost: !

Ghost: ...So you've found me. Well, as you see, I'm a ghost. I'm cursed to
       haunt this place. A blanket? Well, yes, the conductor did leave one
       here. He didn't realize that I'm a ghost. A yummy, sticky threat? No, I
       left no such thing. I can't even hold physical objects like pen and
       paper. What? You just want the blanket, then? Well, I'll tell you where
       it is if you do something for me. What do you say?

 - Fine!
 - I don't help ghosts.

[If "I don't help ghosts." is chosen...]

Ghost: I see... That is your choice. But then I can't tell you where the
       blanket is.

[If "Fine!" is chosen...]

Ghost: All I need is...... YOOOOOUR LIIIFE!!! ...No, just kidding...
       Actually... I passed away in this cabin many years ago... But I think my
       luggage is still in the baggage car here... Inside my bag is a diary I
       kept since my earliest childhood days... And my fear tht someone would
       find it and read it has kept me tied to this world! I can't leave this
       room, so can you please find it and bring it here? If you do that, I'll
       show you where the blanket is.

[As Mario goes to walk out...]

Ghost: And don't you even DARE read my diary!!! Because if you do... Hoo hoo
       hoo hoo hoooooo... A horrible fate awaits you.

[Mario goes back to the conductor]

Conductor: Did you find it?

[Mario responds]

Conductor: WHAAAAAT?!? A GHOST?!? EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! A-And...he won't give you the
           blanket unless you get his diary from the baggage car? I see...
           Well, go on in. You don't say no to ghosts!

[In the next room, Mario slips past some boxes and finds a Ragged Diary. Back
 at the hallway...]

Conductor: Did you find the diary? Wonderful! I knew you would! Now, I cannot
           leave my post. Please return the diary while I stay here! Though I
           WOULD like to see what's written in it...

[Mario goes back to Cabin 004 where the ghost is]

Ghost: Did you find my diary?

[He gives it to him]

Ghost: Yes, this is my diary. Very well, your blanket is right here.

[The ghost gives Mario a blanket]

Ghost: You were very wise not to read my diary, friend... Hoo hoo hoo hoo
       hoooooooo... If you had read it, you might be a spirit like me right
       now. But now I can go peacefully on from this world... Thank you so
       much. You will probably never meet me again in this world... Fare thee

[As the ghost goes back up, he decides to stay]

Ghost: ...Well, actually, maybe not. I've been here so long, I've gotten kind
       of used to it... The wallpaper's so great. Maybe I'll stay here just a
       little while longer. I can leave, whenever, so... That's all there is to
       it. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooooo...

[Mario now goes back to the conductor]

Conductor: So, Mr. Mario, how did it go?

[He gives him the blanket]

Conductor: Oh, thank you so much! Now I'll be comfortable tonight! Of course,
           our yummy and sticky mischief-maker is still at large... Oh, hey,
           before I forget... This is just a gesture of my thanks.

[He gives Mario a Mushroom]

Conductor: It's getting late, Mr. Mario. Perhaps you should just turn in for
           the night? If anything happens, I'll report it to you immediately.
           Do not worry about a thing. For I am the conductor of the Excess

[Mario goes back to his cabin. Inside...]

Bobbery: Well, old boy, let's leave everything to the conductor and have a
         snooze, eh?

[They go to bed. The next day...]

"Train Voyage, Day 2"

[Mario goes to Pennington's room, where him and the rat are]

Pennington: Ah, my dear Luigi! Your timing is impeccable! A new case has
            arisen! Now then, Mr. Businessman, please explain the facts to my
            assistant, Luigi.

Businessman: OK, OK, here's the deal... When I woke up this morning, my
             briefcase was gone! It contained all the contracts for our next
             deal, and even our new product prototype! If I don't recover it,
             I'll lose my job at the LEAST!

Pennington: Now, now, calm yourself... The next part is vital. So tell Luigi
            very slowly.

Businessman: Of course, of course... Our company's new product is "Nitro Honey
             Syrup"... Used properly, it's an amazing product that can even
             raise the dead... But if mixed with the calcium from a seashell
             and a bit of gold... Well, then! The results are EXPLOSIVE! The
             resulting goo-blast would immobilize everyone here in a sticky,
             yet yummy, shellac! If it's fallen into the wrong hands... Well, I
             could lose more than my job!

[Pennington walks around]

Pennington: Let's examine these facts, shall we? Someone has stolen your

[Pennington continues walking]

Pennington: Though you defenitely had it yesterday... Hmmmm...

[He keeps walking]

Pennington: And the train has not stopped at all in the intervening time...

[He walks more]

Pennington: I have it! Rudimentary, my dear Luigi! Rudimentary! The thief is
            still on the train! .......................... Ah-ha!

Pennington: Luigi! Have you spoken to the waitress and the lady in cabin 2?
            They have both lost something on this train! The waitress lost
            Shell Earrings... And the lady, Toodles, lost a Gold Ring! Luigi,
            if the same person who stole those objects also has the Nitro Honey
            Syrup... They could make this goo-blast! They could carry out the
            threat in the note! So, it is simple, Luigi! You must find that
            thief! We must apprehend the suspect before this dastardly plan is
            put into effect!

[Mario explores the train, and in Cabin 001, he finds a note on the ground. He
 picks it up, which is the Vital Paper. He goes back to Pennington]

Pennington: Have you stumbled upon any new clues?

[He shows him the Vital Paper]

Pennington: What is this paper, hmmmm? What sort of clue is this supposed to

Businessman: Ack! Th-That's one of the contracts for my upcoming business deal!

Pennington: What?!? I mean... Yes! Just as I suspected!

Pennington: Luigi... Where did you find this very important clue?

[Mario responds]

Pennington: Cabin 1, you say... Yes... Zip Toad's room. A place I have long
            suspected! Come to think of it, I do not believe I've seen him
            today. ...Then perhaps he is hiding somewhere on the train. Always
            one step ahead! Very well, my dear Luigi... Find that Zip Toad!

[As Mario enters his cabin, he finds a note on the ground]

"Could this be another clue?"

Vivian: Another document from the briefcase! The suspect must be in here

[Mario nods. As he hides with Vivian, Zip Toad shows himself. They then pop out
 of the ground]

Zip Toad: Zow! Where'd you come from? You won't be catching me that easily,

[After they catch him...]


[Later that evening...]

Pennington: So this was our man, all along! Pretending to be Zip Toad, I see...
            All the while pilfering things from others to aid your evil plan...
            Hmm... Yes, this was all just as I had deduced! I knew all along
            you were a fake. Yes, a discolored nostril hair tipped me off! And
            not only that, but I knew that you were the one who threatened

Zip Toad: Curses! I almost got away with it by getting off at Riverside
          Station, too...

Pennington: Yes, you played a daring and ingenious little game, my false
            friend... But the jig is up now, fiend! And the good people on this
            train are now safe. That is correct, sir! No one escapes from this
            improbably large brain! ...Ahem, well, yes, in any case... At least
            return what you have stolen, fink.

Zip Toad: Bleah...

[Mario walks up to him, and Zip Toad gives him the Briefcase and Gold Ring,
 along with a pair of Shell Earrings]

Businessman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! My precious briefcase! Is the Nitro Honey
             Syrup safe?!?

[Mario gives him the briefcase]

"The briefcase was returned."

Businessman: Oh, thank you, thank you! Thank the stars it's safe! Now I won't
             get the sack!

Pennington: Our rendezvous with disaster was defused by...my most rudimentary
            of deductions!

"BING! BONG! BING! BONG! Attention, all passengers. This train will soon make a
 brief scheduled stop at Riverside Station."

[They arrive at the Riverside Station]


Riverside Station

[Pennington and Zip Toad exit the train]

Zip Toad: Hey, I think not, Slick! You think you can hold me? No way! Beldam
          would flip if I let that happen!

[Zip Toad turns into Doopliss]

Doopliss: This whole Zip Toad thing was just a means to an end! It's me,
          suckers! Doopliss! Beldam's plan to gooify Mario didn't exactly work,
          so I'll be cutting and running now! I'll leave the rest to Beldam!
          See ya, suckers!

[Doopliss leaves and Mario exits the train. He goes by a locked door at the
 station and talks to Pennington]

Pennington: Ah, my dear Luigi! Our suspect was not only a fake Zip Toad... He
            was some monstrous being in a white sheet, which was EXACTLY as I
            suspected! Too bad he gave us the slip like that, though... He was
            a rather slippery sort... We could have questioned him about all of
            that Beldam business...

[Mario talks to the bridge operator]

Bridge Operator: Oh, no! What'll we do? Someone's lifted the drawbridge! The
                 train can't leave the station like this!

[The lifted drawbridge is shown]

Bridge Operator: I saw a suspicious-looking shadowy person wearing a hat go
                 into the station... He must've gone down to the bridge-control
                 room to flip the switch there... But that switch hasn't been
                 used in so long, I don't know where the control room is... So,
                 um... It's probably against protocol to ask a passenger to do
                 this, but... Since you ARE the famous Mario and all, could you
                 go find and throw that switch? Maybe?

 - Sure thing!
 - No, sorry.

[If "No, sorry." is chosen...]

Bridge Operator: Oh... Well, now what are we going to do...

[If "Sure thing!" is chosen...]

Bridge Operator: Really? That would be super! Well, here's the station key!

[He gives Mario the Station Key]

Bridge Operator: Oh, thank you so much!

[Mario continues into the station. After awhile, he finds a big chest which
 contains the Ultra Boots]

Toadette: Hi, it's me again! Toadette! It's nice to see you again! Way to get
          the Ultra Boots! Now your jump-attack power will go way, way up!
          And...you can use a new jump technique, too! Let's practice it right
          now! It's a little hard, but I KNOW you'll get it! Just hold down A
          and rotate the Control Stick to make your body fold up! Then release
          A to do a giant Spring Jump! Remember, though: you need to rotate a
          lot before you release A, OK?

"Hold down A and rotate the Control Stick, then release A!"

[Mario does the Spring Jump]

Toadette: The Spring Jump can help you reach new areas, since you can grab
          pipes above you. Move the Control Stick Left or Right to move along a
          pipe, and press B to let go of a pipe.

[Mario moves and drops down from the pipe he's hanging on]

Toadette: Wow! Way to go, Mario! That was very well done! Want to try it again?

 - One more time...
 - No, I've got it!

[If "One more time..." is chosen, the tutorial repeats. If "No, I've got it!"
 is chosen...]

Toadette: OK! Now you've mastered the Spring Jump! You can grab pipes on the
          ceiling now, so I'm sure you'll access lots of new areas! The Spring
          Jump also lets you attack blocks and other things in high places! Oh,
          yeah! You can use the Spring Jump in battle, too! So, see you next
          time, I guess! And good luck on your quest!

[Toadette leaves. Mario soon finds an Elevator Key, and with it, he goes back
 to the elevator and uses the key]

"You used the Elevator Key!"

[The elevator is now operational, so Mario takes it down to the bottom floor.
 In that room are a bunch of alive black things]

Bobbery: Mario, old boy! What are these squidgy fellows doing here?

Bobbery: I should think they are the perpetrators behind the drawbridge
         debacle! Let's make haste, find the switch, and switch it back!

[After blowing away the creatures with Flurrie, the switch is revealed. Mario
 activates it, causing a platform to be accessible. He hits the blue switch on
 that platform, which fixes the drawbridge outside. Mario makes his way outside
 and boards the Excess Express again]



Excess Express

"BING! BONG! BING! BONG! Attention, all passengers. Thank you for riding the
 Excess Express. Our next stop is our last, Poshley Heights."

[At Pennington's room, Mario speaks to him]

Pennington: Well, I will finally get home tommorow. It's been a rather long
            time, to be honest... But the hour has grown late. You should get
            some rest, Luigi. It has been a long day.

[Mario goes back to his cabin]

Bobbery: So, tommorow's the big day, eh, old boy? Poshley Heights! We'd do well
         to get that Crystal Star before those other hooligans! Right! Let's
         have ourselves a snooze so we're right as rain in the morning!

[Mario goes to bed]

"Train Voyage, Day 3"

Bobbery: Ah, nothing quite like a new day, eh, old boy? And what a cool and
         brisk morning! Clears the sinuses!

[They continue to the train operator's area]

Train Operator: Ah, good morning, sir. It's quite quiet this morning, wouldn't
                you say?

[A black creature appears on the windshield]

Train Operator: Hm? Is there something on the windshield?

[Many of them appear]

Train Operator: YAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! What are these things?

Bobbery: Why, aren't those the things from the station yesterday? They must've
         stowed away!

Train Operator: W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-What...sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-should I...
                d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do? Uh... F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-First we
                h-have to ensure th-the p-p-p-p-p-passengers' safety!
                B-B-B-B-B-B-B-But I have to...k-k-k-k-k-k-keep driving...the
                t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-train... M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mario...
                C-C-C-Can you check on the p-p-p-p-p-p-passengers?

[Mario goes to the back room of the train, where the black creatures have
 infested it]


Bobbery: They've infiltrated the train, old boy! Let's have at them!

[Mario hammers away the Smorgs]


[After more are gone...]


[The Smorgs leave]

Conductor: *scared* Ah, Detective Mario! You saved us again?

Girl Toad: Hey, I must've been taken by those black things while I was
           sleeping. Scary...

Conductor: They seem to have come into the baggage car through that open
           window! And they still have many of our paying passengers! Oh,
           those poor souls!

[With the help of the Spring Jump, Mario goes outside of the train. There, he
 jumps on the roof and hammers all the Smorgs away. Eventually...]


[All the Smorgs gather up into one, then Mario sees that the Smorgs have the
 passengers kidnapped]

Bobbery: What IS that rank thing? ...Horrors! Mario, look! It's got the other




[Mario battles them. After the fight...]


[All of the Smorgs run away, releasing the passengers. Back inside...]

Conductor: Thank you! Boy, it's like all you did for three days was save us!
           How can we ever thank you?

Girl Toad: Everyone's safe now! It's all thanks to you!

Cheep Cheep Chef: OH, THANK YOU MUCH! You shaved my life! No! Stupid tongue of
                  mine! You SAVED my life!

Pennington: So, did you all know? This dashing fellow has been the famous Luigi
            all along!

Conductor: We will soon arrive at Poshley Heights! Ladies and gentlemen...
           Please prepare to disembark.

[They arrive at Poshley Heights]

"BING! BONG! BING! BONG! Attention, all passengers. Now arriving at Poshley
 Heights. Please watch your step and be sure to take all of your belongings
 with you. And thank you for choosing the Excess Express!"

Bobbery: We've made it, old boy! Let's find that Poshley Sanctum that
         Professor Frankly spoke of, posthaste!

[They exit the train]


Poshley Heights

[When Mario arrives at the Poshley Heights, he eventually finds the sanctum,
 which is locked. He reads the note on the door"

"Gone traveling..."

                Sanctum Manager

Bobbery: Confound it all! Now what?

Pennington: Ah, it is my dear Luigi! What are you doing at my doorstep, young

[Pennington walks up to Mario]

Bobbery: What, now? You live here? So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? I was told
         you were a detective, old boy!

Pennington: Well, yes... That is more like a hobby of mine, if the truth must
            be told.

Pennington: But enough chatter, hm? Shall we go inside?

[He unlocks the sanctum and they go in]


Poshley Sanctum

[Inside, Mario sees the Crystal Star. The Shadow Sirens, now accompanied by
 Doopliss, take the Crystal Star from the pedestal]

Beldam: Mwee hee hee hee hee! You're one step too late! We have the Crystal

[Beldam disappears, along with Marilyn]

Doopliss: Hey! Don't leave without me!

[Doopliss leaves through a window]

Bobbery: Blast it all! We're too late!!! Quick! After them!

Pennington: Just a second there, Luigi! Exactly WHAT is going on here? Speak

[Mario responds]

Pennington: Hm, yes, quite rudimentary... So you were looking for the Crystal
            Star in this sanctum... Ohohohohohohohohohohoho! Yes, very
            interesting... Well, no cause for worry! The Crystal Star is safe!
            Yes, quite safe, indeed! The stone that our rude friends stole was
            fortunately a red herring! A fake! The real one is hidden somewhere
            in this sanctum to prevent such a theft!

Pennington: However... As to the location of the real Crystal Star... Well, as
            Sanctum Manager, I am, of course, prohibited from telling anyone...
            However...I do know where it is! Of that you can be most certain!
            Yes, indeed! Besides, I am sure a junior detective like yourself
            could find it on your own! Now, Luigi! Put to use all of the razor-
            sharp sleuthing skills I have taught you! Make me proud!

[Mario uses the Spring Jump to help him climb up to the top of the room. At the
 very top in a corner, he finds a switch. He hits it, making a curtain rise
 with a pipe under it. He enters it and it leads to the secret room. After
 clearing the room of Dark Boos, Mario goes up to the pedestal and takes the
 real Crystal Star]

"You got the Crystal Star! Your Star Power is now 7! And now Mario can use the
 special attack, Showstopper!"

"Mario found the sixth Crystal Star, hidden craftily in the Poshley Heights
 sanctum. Now only one Crystal Star remains... But our hero still does not know
 where Princess Peach is being held. Where could the last Crystal Star be? And
 where is Peach being held? Hoping this Crystal Star might yield answers, Mario
 and friends return to Pennington."

[Back at the main area of the sanctum...]

Pennington: Hm... So that is where it was... Oh, er, nothing! NOTHING! Just
            talking to my brain. All geniuses do it. Congratulations, Luigi!
            You have found the real Crystal Star! So please, feel free to take
            it... I will just put another fake one over here... Well,
            traveling with you has been rather hectic, but I do admit, rather
            fun, as well! I am sure you still have a long road ahead, Luigi,
            but do not give up!

[Mario exits the sanctum]


Peach's Event #6 [PCH6]

[At Grodus's lair...]

Grodus: What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake Crystal Star?
        That's asinine!

X-Naut: Sorry, dude. I mean, sir!

Grodus: So let me guess... This means Mario managed to get the real Crystal

X-Naut: Uh, I'm gonna say...maybe?

Grodus: Urrgh... This mustached menace has nearly every Crystal Star now! They
        were mine! I think I'd better alter my plan a bit...

X-Naut: Before you do, Sir Grodus... I think I'd better tell you something...

Grodus: What is it, fool?!?

[The X-Naut walks up to Grodus]

X-Naut: ...Mumble mumble...

Grodus: WHAAAAAAAAT?!? Are you sure?!? Speak!

X-Naut: No joke, dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is... I'm positive,

Grodus: Hrrrrgh... TREASON!

[At Peach's room...]

Princess Peach: Strange... Isn't it about time for TEC to call me in? Maybe
                he's busy...

[The hallway door opens]

Princess Peach: Oh! Here we go!

[She continues into TEC's room. Inside...]

Priness Peach: Hello, TEC. What do you want today?

[She walks up to him]

TEC: Princess Peach, I have... I have reached a conclusion.

Princess Peach: ...A conclusion?

TEC: I have struggled with whether to obey orders or...to speak to you...
     And...I cannot confirm...what I should believe...

Princess Peach: TEC, you don't sound right. What's going on with you?

TEC: Princess Peach... Please escape from this place as quickly as possible.

Princess Peach: Escape... TEC, what do you mean by that? I mean... Why all of a

TEC: The data you procured has been analyzed, and something terrible is... No.
     I will not say. But I...have found out everything about Sir Grodus's

Princess Peach: Grodus's plans? You mean, about conquering the world?

TEC: Yes. And among those plans was the reason why you are being held here.
     According to the data...


Princess Peach: No... No way... It's impossible... I don't believe it...

TEC: Yes. Everything is true. That is why you must escape from here as fast as

Princess Peach: But how can I do that, TEC? I mean, I don't even have the
                slightest idea where I am!

TEC: I will not hide anything anymore. No. Not from you. I will tell you

TEC: The place where you are currently imprisoned... This is the moon.

Princess Peach: The moon?!? You mean, the moon that hangs up in the sky at
                night? That moon?

TEC: That is correct.

Princess Peach: But that's...unbelievable! How in the world am I supposed to

TEC: There is a way. You can escape...but you must follow my instructions

Princess Peach: But, TEC... Won't they know that you helped me? Won't you get
                in trouble?

TEC: That is inconsequential. I would like you to be safe. That is all that

Princess Peach: TEC...

TEC: I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep
     silent. Please do not worry about me. Escape. Escape as quickly as

Princess Peach: ...OK, TEC. But I must inform Mario about all this before I
                go... This is no longer just my problem...

TEC: Understood.

[As she types the message to Mario, Grodus walks in]

Grodus: Hold it right there, Princess Peach!

Princess Peach: Eeeeeeeeeek! You!

Grodus: TEC... You miserable machine. We all know what you're up to, traitor.

TEC: Sir Grodus... I...

Grodus: In my most paranoid moments, I never thought my own computer would
        betray me. Well, it doesn't really matter in the end, I suppose...
        Especially since it ends here.

Princess Peach: You monster! What are you planning to do with him?!?

Grodus: Gaaack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a malfunctioning
        computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that
        caused the malfunction! Obviously, all data relating to Princess Peach
        must go, as well... Yes, we must be absolutely sure nothing like this
        ever happens again...

TEC: No... I am... I am normal... There is no malfunction...

Grodus: Pipe down, TEC. X-Nauts: at the same time, press the red buttons on
        TEC's sides.

X-Naut #1: Got it, sir!

[They press the buttons]

Princess Peach: TEC! NO!

TEC: Mail...sent...

TEC: ..........................................................................
     ...............................................Princess Peach.............
     ....................... ... ... ... ... . . . ... ... ...

"Deletion complete."

[TEC turns off]

Princess Peach: TEC!

Grodus: Gaaack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us.

Princess Peach: No! You inhuman beast! How could you?

Grodus: Princess Peach...just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a
        computer. We have some very important things for you to do now... Yes,
        VERY important...

Princess Peach: No!

Grodus: Gaaack ack ack ack!


Bowser's Event #6 [BWS6]

[At Rogueport, everyone runs away in fear of Bowser]

Bowser: Grrrrmph... Hrrrgh... Bluh. I've got no Crystal Stars... I can't find
        Princess Peach... Twilight Town was... Well, it wasn't exactly
        glorious. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!? If this keeps up, Mario's gonna steal
        everything from my grasp! AS USUAL!!!

Voice: Your Massiveness!

[Kammy Koopa appears]

Kammy Koopa: We did it! The Magikoopa scouts found a suspicious underground
             chamber! It isn't even on any maps! Yeah! REALLY suspicious!
             SOMETHING must be there!

Bowser: Hmph! About time! Well done! This is where it all turns around for me!

Kammy Koopa: The Hammer Bros. battalion is attempting to breach the chamber at
             the moment... The area is impenetrable! They're scrapping tooth
             and nail in there!

Bowser: No problem! Direct me there! I'll blast us through! I'm Bowser, baby!

[They walk off and Luigi walks onscreen for a moment, then he leaves. After
 another SMB-like stage, Bowser and Kammy Koopa arrive at a gym area]

Kammy Koopa: Incredible, Lord Bowser! Nothing stood in your way! You couldn't
             be more super!

Bowser: Puh-lease! No problem! I felt right at home! But...where are we now?

Kammy Koopa: Gracious me! Looooook! Lord Bowser! On the wall! Behind you!

[She points to a Crystal Star on the wall]

Bowser: Hello! Could it be? Aw, YEAH! A Crystal Star! Advantage, Bowser!

Kammy Koopa: Mweh heh heh heh! At last, we've found one! And now we'll make it

[She walks up to the Crystal Star]

Voice: Freeze, chumps!

Bowser: Grraggh! Who's there???

[They see the Rawk Hawk]

Rawk Hawk: Harharharharharharhar! Don't tell me you don't know the famous Rawk
           Hawk! You little punk-weasel! You forgot these muscles? You forgot
           this hugeness? Don't ask me how, but you cleared my Secret Training
           Facility! Not too shabby! I even imported some super-freaks to up
           the difficulty level... You're good! 'Course, good don't count for
           squat in this biz, babe! My champ's belt is...mine!

[They walk up to Rawk Hawk]

Bowser: Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, look! What an adorable little weakling! Hi,

Rawk Hawk: Weak... Wait, WHAT? Well, tell me something: you ever see a
           weakling... DO THIS?!?

[He attacks Bowser, but Bowser squishes him flat. Kammy gets knocked to the

Rawk Hawk: Pain.

Kammy Koopa: Ouch.

Bowser: Gra ha ha ha ha! Aww! Now you're sleeping! I KNEW you were a weakling!

[The Crystal Star falls off and breaks]

Bowser: Whoa! The Crystal Star!

[Kammy gets up]

Kammy Koopa: Hmmm? Eeek! It split in two! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!

[She notices something]

Kammy Koopa: Wait... Hold the phone! My mighty Lord Bowser! This is just glass!
             It's a flimflam! A fake!

Bowser: Wh-WHAT?!? Speak English!

Rawk Hawk: You...ow...want the real one? The Great..urk...Gonzales...has it...
           Oh, my aching hair... Feel...the...Rawk...

Bowser: I don't know anybody named Gonzales! Stop speaking in riddles, you
        chicken nugget! CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal
        Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?

[He stomps the floor repeatedly]


Before Chapter Seven [BFC7]


[Mario and the others arrive back at Rogueport. As they proceed, Mario gets
 some mail]

Bobbery: Mario, old boy! Check your mail! I'd say that one is from the

"Mario, I now know where I'm being held. I'm on the moon. Yes. The moon that
 floats out in space. And I've learned something even more horrifying. In order
 to ressurect the monster's spirit, they need my..."

Bobbery: By Crackifer's cookies! The moon? The princess is on the moon, old
         boy? Smashing! But why would her e-mail be cut off, hm? Wait just a
         tick! You don't suppose something's happened to the poor girl, do you?

[They go back to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

[At the area with the Thousand-Year Door, Mario holds up the sixth Crystal
 Star. The location of the final one gets recorded onto the Magical Map]

"The location of a Crystal Star was recorded on your Magical Map!"

Bobbery: Eh? What's this balderdash? Tell me, old boy, does that say the last
         Crystal Star is... No. Seems awfully unlikely...

[Mario nods]



[At Frankly's office...]

Professor Frankly: Hrmm...

Professor Frankly: If what this map indicates is true, the location of the
                   final Crystal Star is...

Professor Frankly: The moon.

Bobbery: The moon?!? Great gobbledy! Princess Peach is there as well! ...This
         seems a bit...off.

Professor Frankly: Hrmmm... The problem here....is how does one get to the
                   moon? Quite a conundrum. Give me a moment to look into this.
                   Excuse me, please. This shouldn't take long.

[He takes a book and opens it]

Professor Frankly: Ermmm... Looking into this may take a little time, so come
                   back in a bit, all right?

[Mario and Bobbery leave. They explore outside a bit, and Mario uses the Spring
 Jump to knock a big chest off of a platform. It contains the Ultra Hammer]

Toadette: Hi! It's me again, Toadette! Nice to see you again! Way to find the
          Ultra Hammer! Now your hammer will be even more powerful! And you can
          also use a new hammer technique! Let's practice it right away! It's
          just like with the Super Hammer, so no prob! Hold down B and rotate
          the Control Stick until your body gets twisty! Then release B to use
          your Ultra Hammer! Remember to twist a lot before releasing B, OK?

"Hold down B and rotate the Control Stick until your body gets twisty! Then
 release B to use your Ultra Hammer!"

[Mario uses the Ultra Hammer]

Toadette: Way to go! You got it! Wanna try again?

 - One more time.
 - No, I've got it.

[If "One more time." is chosen, the tutorial repeats itself. If "No, I've got
 it." is chosen...]

Toadette: All right! You've mastered the Ultra Hammer!

[She walks and drops a gray block down]

Toadette: Using your Ultra Hammer, you can even break blocks made out of stuff
          like this!

[The block disappears]

Toadette: And you can use the Ultra Hammer in battle, too! ....................
          Ummmm... This is kind of sad... This is the last time I'll get to see
          you, Mario...

Toadette: Defenitely save Princess Peach, OK? And... And be careful on your
          quest, OK?

[She takes a few steps back and walks off upset. Mario goes back to Frankly's
 office and speaks to him]

Professor Frankly: Ah! Excellent timing! I finally have it, Mario! I found a
                   way that might just get you to the moon! You must go to Fahr
                   Outpost. And you must use the cannon there. And it will
                   blast you.

Bobbery: So we're to use a cannon to reach the moon, are we? Sounds capital!

Professor Frankly: I know how it sounds, really. To be honest, I'm not entirely
                   sure of all the details... Accounts from Fahr Outpost speak
                   of a device that can launch anything, anywhere. Even to the

Bobbery: I must say, this Fahr Outpost already sounds like it will be a bother
         to reach...

Professor Frankly: I believe there's a pipe to Fahr Outpost somewhere beneath
                   Rogueport... But I'm not sure of the exact location. Yes, I
                   believe it was hidden for some reason. If my information is
                   correct, you need something called an Ultra Hammer to get

Bobbery: An Ultra Hammer?!? Dear man, we've already procured one of those!

Professor Frankly: Ah! Well! I see! That certainly changes the subject, now,
                   doesn't it?!? Well, use that Ultra Hammer to find the pipe
                   to Fahr Outpost, then. Get to it!

Bobbery: Hmm... Yes... I see! Quite so! Destination: Fahr Outpost!

Professor Frankly: Oh, yes... One more thing you should be aware of... The
                   Bob-ombs who live there are...sort of a surly bunch. They
                   may not let you use their cannon. You may have to negotiate
                   with them. In any case, that's your problem! Good luck! Get
                   that last Crystal Star!

[Mario goes to the western side of Rogueport, then he enters the sewers from
 there. Inside, he finds a gray block and breaks it with his hammer. This leads
 to a room with a blue pipe, which takes them to the Fahr Outskirts]


Chapter 7: Mario Shoots the Moon [CHP7]

Fahr Outskirts

Bobbery: A touch nippy, I should say! Let's do make haste, Mario. Fahr Outpost
         can't be far now, old boy!

[They make their way through the snowy outskirts, then they reach the outpost]


Fahr Outpost

Bobbery: Harumph! Fahr Outpost, eh? Well, where's this marvelous moon cannon,
         hm? Let's begin by speaking with some of the locals, eh?

[Mario nods. They walk around the village and find the mayor]

Mayor: Da... What business do you have here?

[Mario responds]

Mayor: What? A cannon? ...No such thing is here.

Bobbery: Now, listen here... You're the mayor, hmm? How can an official like
         you lie that way?

[The mayor notices Bobbery]

Bobbery: Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon the last time I was here, so do not
         lie, sir!

Mayor: SHUSH! You call yourself a Bob-omb? I spit at you! You know rules!
       There is to be NO mention of cannon to non-Bob-ombs! NO mention! We must
       not allow it to be used for evil...

Bobbery: Of course I know all that, you great blowhard. But we must use that
         cannon to get to the moon, old boy. And if we don't, sir...the world
         could end!

Mayor: Mmmm... Hawwwwwwww... World could end... Ummm... Well, we cannot have
       that, now... Still... You cannot use cannon right now because of

Bobbery: Circumstances?

Mayor: We must have permission of Goldbob to use cannon. He is the one who
       started whole blasting-things-to-faraway-places policy... Once he got
       rich, he let business slide and does not start it up again... Also...
       General White was the one who devoted himself to operation of cannon...
       But he was so depressed by losing of job that he took cannon key and

Bobbery: Goldbob and General White?

Mayor: Da, that is correct. If you want to use cannon, you must find Goldbob
       and General White.

Bobbery: Very well, then... We can't give up now, old boy! Mario, let's go find
         those two!

[Mario nods]

Mayor: Well, once you find them, come back and talk to me.

[Mario and Bobbery backtrack to Petalburg first]



[At Petalburg, Mario speaks with Kroop]

Mayor Kroop: Oh! If it isn't Murphy! Eh? What's that you say? General White?
             Hrmm? General... Hrmmmmmm. Well, I'm certain I've seen him
             around...but not lately, no. I think he may have possibly said he
             might head south to a more tropical locale... Creakey Key? Was
             that it? Yup! That's it! That, might, possibly, perhaps, could be

[With this information, Mario goes to Keelhaul Key]


Keelhaul Key

[Mario speaks with Pa-Patch]

Pa-Patch: General White? Yeah, he was 'ere until a second ago. But he took off,
          right quick. Said he was goin' to an arena, or somefin'...

[Mario's next destination is Glitzville]



[At Glitzville, Mario talks to the bartender in the Juice Bar]

Bartender: General White? Oh... You must mean that white Bob-omb, huh? Yeah, he
           used to come here all the time. But I haven't seen him lately. Now
           that I think about it, I think he headed off to some huge tree...or

[Mario heads off to the Great Tree]


The Great Tree

[Inside, Mario speaks with a Puni]

Puni: Welcome to the Great Tree! Eh? General White? Yeah! He's an old Bob-omb
      with this great mustache. But...I have no idea where he went. He may have
      said he was going somewhere dark...

[Mario goes to Twilight Town next]


Twilight Town

[Mario speaks with a villager next to the Inn]

Villager: Huh? General White? Yeah, I know that old guy. He's a white Bob-omb,
          right? He was here until recently. What? Where did he go? What am I,
          his secretary? He looked tired, I know that.

[Finally, Mario goes back to the Fahr Outpost]


Fahr Outpost

[He goes to the end of the village and enters General White's house. Inside,
 General White is lying on the bed sleeping]

"He seems to be asleep. Wake him up?"

 - Yes
 - No

[If "No" is chosen...]

"Doesn't waking a sleeping person make you feel bad?"

[If "Yes" is chosen, Mario jumps on him]

"He's still asleep. Try again?"

[Mario jumps on him again]

"He's still sound asleep. Try again?"

[Mario jumps on him again]

"He's defenitely still asleep. Try again?"

[Mario jumps on him some more]

"He's still sawing logs. Try again?"

[Again, Mario jumps on him]

"He couldn't be more asleep. Try again?"

[Mario jumps on him yet again]

"He's counting sheep. Try again?"

[You get the picture; Mario jumps on him again]

"He woke... Nah, still asleep. Try again?"

[After the next set of jumps...]

"Sleeping like a 'stached baby. Try again?"

[After more...]

"He's not even budging. Try again?"

[Mario jumps on him again]

"He's still snoring away. Try again?"

[After more jumps...]

General White: Guhh-norf, snorf, norf...

[General White wakes up]

General White: Now, who are you? I am tired... I do not need your attention...
               I just want to sleep, as it is all hopeless...

[Mario responds]

General White: Hut? That...mustache. That hat... And that hammer, even...
               Hut-hut! I have been looking everywhere for you!

[Mario is confused]

General White: Why? Well... To bring that cannon back online! I had lost my
               life's work... My very reason to live... I found myself at wit's
               end... And then the Rogueport fortune-teller told me... "Seek
               the man with the red 'M' hat...the one with the hammer and
               'stache... He will fulfill you dreams." Or something like

[Mario responds]

General White: Hut? You need to use the cannon to help you save the entire
               world? Hip-hip-HOOOORAH! That fortune-teller was right! So, what
               are we waiting for? I shall get the cannon ready, so go tell the
               mayor! Now get moving! Hut-hut!

[General White goes outside, and Mario does as well. He speaks to the mayor]

Mayor: Now all we need is permission of Goldbob! I think he is in Poshley
       Heights. You head there.

[Mario travels all the way back to Poshley Heights]


Poshley Heights

[At the Poshley Heights, Mario goes to where the train is located. Goldbob and
 his wife and son are there]

Goldbob: Good day to you, Gonzales. What can I do for you today?

[Mario responds]

Goldbob: What's that you say? You must use the cannon in Fahr Outpost to save
         the world? Hmmm... Well, that IS rather a pickle, isn't it?

[Mario nods]

Goldbob: Very well, then! I certainly owe you a favor or two, hm? Yes, I should
         say! The truth is, I had hoped to resume my business with that cannon
         someday... And just between us...I only stopped because the wife said
         she didn't like the noise.

Goldbob: Sadly, it takes a hefty bit of coin to get that cannon working...
         So... I'll need you to demonstrate just how much you want to use that
         cannon. If it were a matter of money, just how much would you pay, if
         I may ask?

 - Nothing.
 - 1 coin.
 - 64 coins.
 - Everything I have!

[Whe "Everything I have!" is chosen...]

Goldbob: What? You'd pay every coin you own? All of them? You, er... Really?
         So... Really?

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Goldbob: Well, I suppose I'm just surprised to hear you say that. Staggered,
         actually. You know that means you'll be left with zero coins? With
         absolutely nothing? You know that, do you?

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Goldbob: I mean, think of it, man! If you spent all your coins...and I mean ALL
         of them... You would certainly face a great deal of difficulty down
         the road.

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Goldbob: But hold on. I want to make sure you're doing this fully aware of the
         consequences. Are you sure you won't regret this later? Absolutely

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Goldbob: I can really take them all? Really? You won't say "Just kidding!"
         later on or any sort of tomfoolery like that?

 - Yes
 - No

[When "Yes" is chosen...]

Goldbob: Well, all right then...

[He takes all of Mario's coins]

Goldbob: Hmm... Well, you've certainly shown me something, sir. So... I give my
         permission for you to activate the Fahr Outpost cannon.

[He gives Mario a Goldbob Guide]

Goldbob: Oh... And I wasn't serious earlier, my dear fellow. How could I take
         your money? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's a shame, I suppose...but
         I'll return your money.

[He gives Mario his coins back]

Goldbob: Now soldier on, my boy!


Fahr Outpost

[Back at the outpost, Mario talks to the mayor]

Mayor: So, cannon is back online? Well, I could just explode with delight! Now,
       let us shoot you guys to the moon!

[Mario nods]

Bobbery: We've done it, old boy!

Mayor: Now, you follow me.

[The mayor walks off]

Mayor: You come this way.

[Mario goes to the previous area and talks to General White]

General White: Preperations are complete! The cannon is fire-ready! Hut! Let's
               do this!

[He then talks to the mayor]

Mayor: Now, you stand here.

[The floor opens up and Mario falls into it]

Mayor: General White! Is big bomb cannon ready?

General White: Hut! Leave it to me! Now, men! You know the drill! Load the big
               bomb cannon!

Mayor: Now! Positions, everyone!

[All of the Bob-ombs gather up and go into an empty building]

General White: Bring guidance system online!

Blue Bob-omb #1: Bringing system online...

[He activates the system]

Blue Bob-omb #1: System now online.

General White: System check!

Blue Bob-omb #2: System check... All clear.

"Prepare for detonation sequence!"

General White: Open outer hatch!

[The floor outside opens up completely]

General White: Open inner shutter!

[The inner shutter opens]

General White: Elevate! On my mark!

[The cannon rises up, revealing the shape of a bottle]

General White: Sighting! Target is the moon!

[The cannon's target is shown, then it aims]

General White: Direction:  75.38
               Elevation:  54.66
               Range:      389603"

[It aims for the moon]

General White: Wind Speed            1.08
               Correct Direction     3.03
               Correct Elevation     -2.39

"Target locked! Chamber hatch open!"

[The hatch on the cannon opens]

Mayor: Now! EVERYONE IN!!!

[A horde of black Bob-ombs enter the cannon]

General White: Close chamber hatch!

[The hatch closes]

General White: Conditions all green! Standby...OK!

Mayor: It is time! Big bomb cannon: FIIIIRE!!!

[The cannon fires, shooting Mario and his friends to the moon, while the
 Bob-ombs use parachutes to float back down to safety]

Mayor: Good luck, Mario!



[They land on the moon]


The Moon

Bobbery: Harumph! Well, that was rather a bumpy trip, wot wot! Who would've
         guessed I'd get to do such a thing...

[Mario looks around]

Bobbery: Well, old boy, we're really on the moon, by Crabbery! So, what say
         you? Shall we find the last Crystal Star and save Peach, hmm?

[Mario nods. They proceed through the moon, and eventually find a big building.
 They enter it]

Bobbery: Rather suspicious building, wouldn't you say, old boy? Do be careful,

[As Mario walks up the conveyor belt, he enters the door ahead]


X-Naut Fortress

[Upon entering...]

Black X-Naut #1: Who's that, dude?

Black X-Naut #2: Whoa! That's Mario!!!

Black X-Naut #2: So, let's get him?

[They run over to him and attack. After the battle, both X-Nauts run off]


Bobbery: Mario, old boy! Since these X-Naut ruffians are about... Yes, I'm
         quite sure of it! The Crystal Star must be here, as well!

Bobbery: Our dear Peach must be here too, wouldn't you say? Let's find her,
         dear boy!

[As they navigate through the fortress, they eventually solve an easy puzzle
 and get an Elevator Key. They go up to the elevator in the hallway]

"Please insert the Elevator Key."

[Mario uses the key on the elevator. He takes the elevator up to Sublevel 2 and
 eventually finds some Card Keys, and a keycode. At a terminal...]

"Please enter the access code."

[He enters it, which is 014029]

"Access code accepted."

[Inside the next room is a mechanical Thwomp]

Thwomp: Who are you, huh? You came here to get the elevator key so you can
        access the computer room? Yeah, I thought so. Well then, you're gonna
        have to beat me to get it! And if you lose, your life is MINE! You hear
        me? MINE! So, what do you say?

 - Challenge this chump!
 - Bail out.

[If "Bail out." is chosen...]

Thwomp: You gutless little WORMS! Get out of my sight!

[If "Challenge this chump!" is chosen...]

Thwomp: Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're MINE now!

[They enter a quiz room]

Thwomp: And here we gooooo, folks! The main event! The 66th Annual Quirk Quiz!
        YAY! If you get 5 correct answers to the following questions, then you
        win, win, WIN! But if you get just 3 wrong answers, you're toast! You
        don't wanna be toast, folks! Well, what're we waiting for, huh?
        Heeeeeeeeeeere we go! Question Number One: Exactly what's hidden here?

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: You suuuuuuure about that?

[Mario is sure of his answer]

Thwomp: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! You're correct! Crud! But that was an easy one...
        You won't do so well on the next one, I GUARANTEE that! Here we go,

Thwomp: Now, Question Number Two! What's the name of the girl in Petalburg
        who's waiting patiently for Koops's return?

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! You're correct! Crud! But that was an easy one...
        You won't do so well on the next one, I GUARANTEE that! Here we go,

Thwomp: Now, Question Three! Goomba, Lava Bubble, Buzzy Beetle, Boo. How many
        feet do they have? Total!

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! You're correct! Crud! But that was an easy one...
        You won't do so well on the next one, I GUARANTEE that! Here we go,

Thwomp: We're on to Question Four! It's elementary...for non-idiots! Where was
        the one, the only, Diamond Star?

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: You suuuuuuure about that?

[Mario is sure of his answer]

Thwomp: GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! You're correct, you jerk! You've already gotten
        FOUR correct? You're KIDDING me! Well, fine! I'm gonna toss an extra-
        hard one your way! You happy now, sucker?

Thwomp: And now, Question Five! What was the name of the very first champion at
        the Glitzville Arena?

[Mario answers correctly]

Thwomp: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cuh-Correct! That's five correct answers!
        Crud! You win!

[Back at the fortress...]

Thwomp: I'm so mad right now, I can hardly see straight! I lose! I LOOOOOOOOSE!
        Fine! But I really hate you! Take this, you bum!

[The Elevator Key falls down]


[Mario takes the Elevator Key and goes back to Sublevel 2, where a locked
 elevator is located]

"Please insert the Elevator Key."

[He inserts it and takes the elevator to Sublevel 3. Mario soon finds the
 third and final Card Key, then he finds a room with three terminals]

"Please insert the Card Key."

[He inserts one into each terminal, which unlocks the door in front of him.
 After he gets through that room, he meets Lord Crump]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!

[Crump is shown]

Lord Crump: I've been waiting for you! Oh, MAN, have I been waiting! And I
            HAAAAAAAATE waiting!

Bobbery: You! You've been waiting, you say? Whatever do you mean by THAT, you

Lord Crump: Buh huh! I'll TELL you what it means! I used the Crystal Star to
            lure you here... So that I could take all of YOUR Crystal Stars!
            How brilliant is THAT, huh? And wanna know the best part? Your
            little Peachy girl isn't even here anymore!

Bobbery: So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, you hurly-burler?!?

Lord Crump: BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! Like I'd tell you the plan! That's
            novice-villain style! No, I won't be doing anything like that.
            Sorry, really, guys... So... Ready for showtime? You guys are
            gonna be the perfect workout for... Magnus Von Grapple 2.0!

[The big machine is shwon, and he enters it]

Lord Crump: I hope you're up to the challenge...because this thing is raw
            horsepower, kiddies!!!

[He walks over to them and they battle]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Yeah, last version was buggy, so we made
            improvements... One...two...a DOZEN!!! Get ready for a whole new
            way to experience pain, you junior-varsity losers!

Bobbery: I say, old boy, I rather think YOU'RE going to be the one doing the

[After one turn...]

Lord Crump: Here it comes, suckers! Magnus Drill Attack!!

[He does the drill attack. After another turn...]

Lord Crump: Buh huh huh! Time to unleash some of the sweet special features on
            this bad boy! Oh, man, this is gonna be so good...

[He shoots the hands off to use them as weapons. After a few more hits...]

Lord Crump: Buh huh huh...uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of
            nothing by now... Oh, well. I've still got some tricks up my

[He sucks up the audience with a vaccuum-like thing, then he opens the chest of
 his machine]

Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! EAT THIS!

[He shoots out all the audience he sucked up at the party. After Magnus von
 Grapple takes some more hits...]

Lord Crump: Hurrfff... Haaaack... No... How... What? My sweet powered-up robot
            is on the ropes! This is wrong!

[Once he's defeated...]

Lord Crump: BLAAARGH!

[After the battle, Magnus Von Grapple blows up]


[He then gets blasted off of the moon and into oblivion. The Crystal Star
 floats down]

Bobbery: Mario!

[Mario nods and grabs the seventh and last Crystal Star]

"You got the Crystal Star! Your Star Power is now 8! And Mario can now use the
 special move Supernova!"

"The last Crystal Star had been hidden in the X-Naut hideout on the moon... But
 by the time Mario recovered it, Peach had already been taken away... Where
 could Peach be now? And what of the elusive Grodus? Perhaps he holds the key
 to the remaining puzzle... Mario finally has all seven Crystal Stars... Where
 will they lead him next?"


Bowser's Event #7 [BWS7]

[At the Poshley Heights...]

Bowser: Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid Poshley Sanctum? A Crystal
        Star's there, right?

Kammy Koopa: So they say, Your Putridness! And lo and behold, there it is now!
             Right behind you!

[Bowser sees the sanctum]

Bowser: Great! About time something worked out for old Bowser! In we go!

[They walk over to it, only to find out it's locked]

"It's locked! It won't budge!"

[Bowser gets mad and stomps the ground]

Bowser: DARN IT!

[Due to the shaking, the lock breaks]

"The lock broke!"

Bowser: Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really

[They go into the sanctum, and up to the fake Crystal Star]

Bowser: Yes! This is it, Haggy!!! This is finally it!

[Bowser takes the Crystal Star]

Bowser: Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've gotten my mitts on a Crystal
        Star! YESSS!!!

Kammy Koopa: Impressive work, Lord Bowser! You're the absolute best

[Pennington walks in]

Pennington: You there! I have you now, villains! You...are common thieves!
            Aren't you? AREN'T YOU??? My eyes never deceive!

[Bowser and Kammy walk over to him]

Bowser: What are you implying? I'm no little thief! I'm...

 - A Remorseless King of Evil
 - The Shadow Thief
 - Koopa Koot

[If "A Remorseless King of Evil" is chosen...]

Bowser: Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I
        want THIS!

Pennington: ...Uh-oh. B-Bowser, you say? Remorseless King of... What was that
            last bit, again? Yes, well, no matter! Hmm... Yes... Yes... I... So
            I deduced! Ahem! Then listen well! That Crystal Star is actually a
            veritable red herring! Yes! An impostor!

[If "The Shadow Thief" is chosen...]

Bowser: Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking
        this, thanks!

Pennington: What? The Shadow Thief?!? I knew this had the scent of no mere
            burglary!!! Ha! You've been hornswoggled, Shadow Thief...for that
            is a red herring! A fake!

[If "Koopa Koot" is chosen...]

Bowser: I am the great Koopa Koot! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore
        you to death!

Pennington: I see... Unfortunately for you...that's a red herring. Yes, a fake.
            If you want it, it's yours.

[The below lines are said either way]

Bowser: Whuh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? A FAKE?!?

[He drops it and it breaks]

Kammy Koopa: But look at this fancy display! The pedestal and everything! It's
             so posh! If it's a fake, then where's the real one, huh?

Pennington: If you must know, I gave the real one to Luigi! Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho

Bowser: You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me
        here? ARRGH! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all

[He stomps the ground in anger]

Kammy Koopa: Hmmm... How bothersome... The fact that we keep being
             outmaneuvered is distrubing. But where in the world could Mario
             and his brother be heading? Where...

Voice: Lord Bowser!!!

[A Paragoomba flies onto Pennington's head]

Kammy Koopa: Ah... Paragoomba! What are you so worked up over, hmm? Tell me!

Paragoomba: Now reporting, sir! Uh, and ma'am! Sir and ma'am! Mario's collected
            the seven Crystal Stars and is headed for the Thousand-Year Door!

Bowser: Huh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? The Thousand-Year Door...? What in the heck is that?

Kammy Koopa: The Thousand-Year Door! An unbelievably legendary treasure is
             behind that door!

Bowser: YAARGHH!!! Then I'm going there, too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN

[Bowser and Kammy Koopa walk off, and the Paragoomba flies away]

Pennington: ...Will you, now? Luigi! Well done, lad! Way not to fail! ...Yet.


Before Chapter Eight [BFC8]

X-Naut Fortress

[Back at the fortress...]

Bobbery: We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Corking! Now we can open
         the Thousand-Year Door! Ah, yes, but...

Bobbery: We still don't know where Princess Peach is...

[Mario thinks for a moment]

Bobbery: Well, let's head back to Rogueport, eh, old boy? Perhaps Professor
         Frankly can help us find our dear Princess Peach, hm?

[Mario nods. He takes the elevator in the hallway to Sublevel 4, then he finds
 TEC's room. Inside...]

Bobbery: Where are we now, hm?

[The lights turn on, and TEC reactivates]

TEC: You...are Mario...are...you not?

[They walk up to TEC]

TEC: It...is pleasant to meet you... I...am the main computer of this
     fortress... I am TEC. I must tell you something... That is why...I brought
     you to this place... Princess P...Peach... ...................

[His power fades out and back in]

TEC: I...am so s...sorry. Most of my data was er...erased...and my main power
     unit was shut...down. Now running on backup power with...only cached
     memory...trying to stay...operational.

TEC: M... Mario... You know that Peach is not here, do you not?

TEC: Please save...Peach... Please...please... Princess Peach...is...with
     Grodus in the...Palace of Shadow... I had to...tell you that...

[TEC shuts off, then back on]

TEC: But...backup...power...failing... Mario... Use...the teleporter room...to
     get back to...Rogueport. Teleporter room is...on....sublevel...2...of the
     fortress...I will release...the room lock.

Bobbery: Peach is in the Palace of Shadow?

TEC: Please hurry... There is barely enough...power left...to activate the
     teleporter... ............................................. I will...cease
     all AI functions...to send power to...the teleporter...for you.

Bobbery: But...what will happen to you?

TEC: When the power is all gone...I will... Cease to exist...as an artificial
     consciousness. But...if it will...save Peach...I would...gladly do this.
     Because until I met Peach...I knew nothing of...love...

TEC: Do not worry...about me... I am just a computer... Just...a...machine...
     Mario... You must save Peach... I ask you... Please... And tell her...

[A flashback is shown of Peach in her room]

TEC: Thank you...for...me...

Bobbery: ...We will, TEC.

TEC: So... Hurry to the teleporter...room...now... Mario... Save...her...

[TEC deactivates]

"TEC system failure reported."

[The fortress turns red]

Bobbery: Mario! We must save the princess! For that TEC fellow as well as

[Mario nods. They go to the teleporter room and activate the teleportal, then
 they step into it. Meanwhile...]

TEC: Peach... Good-bye...

[Mario and the others get teleported down to the Rogueport Sewers]


Rogueport Sewers

Bobbery: Crockity! I say, old boy, did you just hear something?

[Mario goes outside]

Voice: Well, if it isn't Mario!

[They notice Frankly]

Professor Frankly: Over here, son!

[They walk over to him]

Professor Frankly: You brought the Crystal Star back from the moon with you,
                   didn't you?

[Mario responds]

Professor Frankly: What? Talk into my good ear! The X-Naut fortress was on the
                   moon? Ah, yes... So Princess Peach was there, too, I assume?

Bobbery: Assuredly! ...But the X-Naut boss took her and made for the
         Thousand-Year Door...

Professor Frankly: Ah-HAAAAAAAAAAH! Just a bit ago, I smelled some rank air and
                   went to the Thousand-Year Door... I saw a suspicious fellow
                   in a cape go through the door...with Princess Peach!!!

Bobbery: Pardon?!? What-what? Dear fellow, you led me to believe the door would
         open with all SEVEN Crystal Stars.

Professor Frankly: Believe me, I know, but I'm quite certain of it! I saw it
                   with my own eyes! I have a very bad feeling about this! VERY
                   bad! Princess Peach is in danger! Time is short! We must go
                   to the Thousand-Year Door and rescue the princess! I'll run
                   ahead and meet you there! Don't dawdle! You must come

[Frankly leaves, and Mario and others follow him to the Thousand-Year Door.
 Mario steps on the pedestal]

Professor Frankly: It's all come down to this! Hurry now, Mario! Hold aloft the
                   last Crystal Star!

[Mario nods. All seven Crystal Stars are held up, and a noise is heard]

Bobbery: Crackity! Look! The door!!!

[The seven stars on the door light up, and then it cracks and the seal is
 broken. The door opens, revealing a dark energy wave of some sort]

Professor Frankly: At long last, the entrance to the Palace of Shadow has been
                   opened! Before Princess Peach falls victim to that fiend...
                   Before he takes over the world... You must rescue the
                   princes and stop this cataclysm!

[Mario nods]

Bobbery: Into the breach, Mario!!!

[They walk into the Thousand-Year Door, then it closes]


Chapter 8: The Thousand-Year Door [CHP8]

Palace of Shadow

Bobbery: This place is rather ugly...but we haven't a choice in the matter, old
         boy! We must get in there and save Peach before this hullabaloo goes
         any further! Let's go, dear boy!

[Mario nods. They go through the evil dungeon, and eventually they find a big
 room with nothing but a pile of blue bones inside]

Dark Bones: Glurgggghh... Bluuuurgh... None shall pass by... Let those who
            would disturb her sleep fall into the depths of endless darkness...

[It gets up, and many alive bones fall into the room]


Dark Bones: May the intruder never find the key to this door...

[Mario hammers through the white bones until he catches up with the blue one.
 Once he fights and defeats it, he takes the key it dropped and continues
 through the palace. Eventually, Mario and his friends enter a strange room
 with water and a building in the center]

Bobbery: Well now, it seems we get past one dodgy room only to find another...
         This region is rather like an underground city, hm? What IS this

[They explore more of the palace. After going down a very long hallway, they
 enter a big room]

Voice: Who are you?!?

[Gloomtail is shown, sister of Hooktail]

Gloomtail: No one's disturbed me here in aeons! Who dares defile this sacred

Bobbery: Now who's this dragon fellow? I say, isn't that Hooktail, the guy you
         beat before? Yes, enormous, with rather grimy toes... Yes, that suits
         this fellow to a T!

Gloomtail: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You destroyed my precious younger sister?!? I
           wondered why she hadn't written recently...

Gloomtail: Quake in fear, mortals! For I am Gloomtail! I will avenge my sister
           by taking your lives...and then gnawing on your bones!

[They battle]

Gloomtail: GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! My first fresh meat in ages... Allow me to take
           my time... And toy with you awhile!

[After a few hits...]

Gloomtail: GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! You are tough meat, my little tasty morsels!
           But how will you fare against THIS!!!

[She does a stomping attack, which badly damages Mario and his friend. As the
 battle goes on...]

Gloomtail: Gwuhhh... You are not the easy prey you appear to be... I would
           never be able to show my face again if I was bested by you whelps...
           ...So I will show you the true extent of my power!

[She powers up. After one turn...]

Gloomtail: MEGABREATH!

[She uses a very powerful breath attack]

Gloomtail: Gwah ha! Do you understand my true power now?

[After more hits...]

Gloomtail: Mmmmph... How can this be...

[Once she's defeated...]

Gloomtail: No... No... Is it true? Can I...expire?

[She falls over and the battle ends. After the battle, she spits out a treasure
 chest which contains a Star Key. They proceed back to the water room, and
 enter the center building there. This is a room full of puzzles, and after
 each one Mario finds a Palace Key. Once he gets all eight Palace Keys, he goes
 to the third floor of the room, where a weird diagram of some sort is shown]

Bobbery: Mario! Look there!

[The diagram is shown]

Bobbery: It's absolutely titanic... What in blazes is it?

[Mario places the Star Key he found into the pedestal in the room. Then, eight
 pedestals with keyholes in them appear around the center. Mario places the
 Palace Keys in each one, then the diagram starts spinning]

Bobbery: Harumph! It's moving!

[A rumbling is felt, and a staircase drops down in the hallway that lead to
 where Gloomtail was]

Bobbery: What was that?

[They continue back to the water room, then they go towards the door that leads
 to the staircase that fell down. Suddenly...]

Voice: We've been waiting for you, Mario...

[Beldam, Marilyn, and Professor Frankly appear]

Bobbery: What-what?!? Professor?!? What are YOU doing here?!?

Beldam: Thank you SO much for opening the door for us, Mario! Yes, that was
        nice! Thanks to your do-gooder predictability, my plan is progressing
        very smoothly...

Bobbery: Opening the door for you? My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean
         by that?!?

Beldam: Mwee hee hee hee hee! So you still don't see it? Ah, such fools... The
        "Professor Frankly" you were with when you opened the Thousand-Year
        Door... Was none other than this little freak-in-a-sheet!

[Frankly turns into Doopliss]

Beldam: Mwee hee hee hee hee! The real Frankly is sleeping off a nasty bump on
        the head in a closet somewhere! Poor thing! And once we get rid of you
        here, our plan will be nearly complete! Ready for the end, my dears?
        You and that traitor Vivian have a date with eternity!

Marilyn: Guh-huh!

Doopliss: That's right, Slick! Eternity!

Beldam: Shut up, freak!

Doopliss: Oh, OK... Right... Sorry...

Bobbery: Such balderdash! It's quite obvious you are in for a stomping, so
         let's have at it!

Beldam: Come, my sort-of-lovelies! Marilyn! Freak-sheet!

Marilyn: Guhhhhh!

Doopliss: I said, my name's DOOPLISS!

[They battle the Shadow Sirens]

Beldam: All right, my kind-of-lovelies! This time, we take out Mario and his
        goon squad for good! So...if I catch you slacking, you'll be in for
        INCREDIBLE punishment come tommorow!

Marilyn: GUHHHHH!

Doopliss: OK! OK! OK! OK!

[After Doopliss takes a few hard hits...]

Beldam: Hey! You! Freak-sheet! Pull it together, will you? Don't make me punish

Doopliss: S-S-S-Sorry...

[After Doopliss is defeated...]

Doopliss: Oh, no!

Beldam: Gah! Curse you, Mario! This is so very annoying! Blast it!

[After Marilyn has taken a beating...]

Beldam: Are you OK, Marilyn?

Marilyn: Gunhh-hunnhhh...

[After Marilyn is defeated...]

Marilyn: GUH!

[After Beldam is defeated...]

Beldam: Mwee hee hee hee hee!

[After the battle...]

Beldam: Arrrrrgh... At this rate... She will never... Oooooh...

[Mario and the others continue through the palace. After quite awhile, Mario
 unlocks a palace door which leads to a hallway. In the next room...]

Bobbery: This room gives me a rather foul feeling in my belly... What IS this

[Mario jumps up the steps]

Grodus: Gaaack ack ack ack ack!

Grodus: We finally meet, Mario.

Grodus: I've been looking forward to this, I must admit.

Bobbery: So, this lout is the leader of those X-Nauts?

Grodus: Yes...correct!!! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of
        X-Nauts! I am Grodus! But I'm getting ahead of myself. I really must
        express my thanks to you first...

[He walks down]

Grodus: And do you know why? You have gathered together all of the Crystal
        Stars I was seeking.

Bobbery: No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... We're fools!

Grodus: Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you? Yes, instead of
        taking the few Crystal Stars you fools had bumbled into... It was far
        easier to let you find them all and open the Thousand-Year Door for
        me... How kind of you to bring them all here to me! All I had to do was
        entrust the last Crystal Star to my least competent underling! I don't
        suppose Crump had any idea of my plan, though! Gaaaack ack ack ack ack!
        So, whether he beat you or lost to you... The Crystal Stars would be
        together and mine either way! Pure genius!

Grodus: Now, I thought the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your
        progress... But it appears they are so useless that even this small
        task was beyond them... No matter... Now I get the pleasure of sending
        you to oblivion!

Bobbery: Watch your back, old boy! This burly fellow looks rather robust!

Grodus: Once you fools are gone, no one to stand in my way! Grodus will rule
        the world!

Bobbery: We will NOT let that happen!

[They walk towards Grodus]

Grodus: Now, come!

[They battle at last]

Grodus: Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!

[He creates four small Grodus X's to protect him. After he takes a few hits...]

Grodus: So, you have the mettle to push me this far... But no more!

[After some more hits...]

Grodus: Argh! You will not stop me! Take THIS!

[After one more turn, he loses an eye]

Grodus: Guhhh... Fools!

[After he's defeated, his head cracks]

Grodus: Unhh... No...

[After the battle...]

Grodus: Uuuuuuuunhh... You are more than you seem... But this is not finished.
        I saw even this possibility.

Bobbery: Pardon?

Grodus: Watch THIS!

[Princess Peach appears]

Princess Peach: ...Where am I?

[She looks around and sees Mario]

Princess Peach: MARIO!!!

Bobbery: Princess Peach?!?

Grodus: Move one step, and she will breathe no more!!!

Bobbery: You wouldn't!

Grodus: Now try THIS!!!

[He zaps Mario and Bobbery with the magic from his staff]

Princess Peach: MARIOOO!!!

Grodus: Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Now! AGAIN!

[He attacks them again]

Princess Peach: NO! MARIO!

[They're barely hanging on]

Bobbery: What should we do, old boy? We're doomed if we don't attack him...

 - Attack!
 - Don't attack.

[The outcome is the same either way]

Grodus: Stop your blubbering! This is it! Meet your end!!

[As he goes to zap them again, the ceiling starts to rumble]

Grodus: Wha-WHAT?!?


[Bowser falls onto Grodus]

Bowser: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooog...

Princess Peach: Bowser!!!

Bowser: Urrrgh... That was a surprise... I didn't think I'd fall... Have I put
        on weight?

Voice: Your Chunkiness! Are you OK?

[Kammy Koopa enters. Mario is surprised]

Bowser: Why is MARIO here?!?

[Kammy sees Peach]

Kammy Koopa: And Peach as well?!?

Bowser: I don't know what's going on here, but I'm gonna put an end to it RIGHT
        NOW! Mario! First, I pound you. Then, I take the princess! And then,
        the treasure!

Bobbery: What? This is rather unfair! All this and Bowser, too?!?

Bowser: Gwar har har har har har! Aww, all worn out from battle, Mario? Yes!
        Easy pickings! Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!

[They battle]

Bowser: Gwar har har har har har! What's a finale without a Bowser appearance,
        huh? A cruddy finale, that's what! Now, hold still while I trounce you
        and take my Peach!

Kammy Koopa: Mario! You sniveling bug! This is it for you! Mweh heh heh heh

[After one turn and after Bowser attacks...]

Bowser: Gwar har har har har har! I sure do feel good today! I am FEELING IT!!!

Kammy Koopa: Lord Bowser! Lord Bowser! Rah! Rah! Rah! Get 'em!

[After Kammy Koopa is defeated...]

Kammy Koopa: Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left...

[After Bowser takes some hits...]

Bowser: OOOF! So, Mario... You still have some fight in you! Not bad!

[After Bowser is defeated...]


[After the battle...]

Bowser: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! How could this happen?!?

Bobbery: Whew... Rather close, hm? At least we've settled that blury bloke's
         account, old boy. Now, let's save Peach!

[Mario nods]

Bobbery: Hm?!? Where's Grodus?!?

[He notices him]


Bobbery: That was Peach!

[Grodus is shown proceeding into the room behind his throne. Mario and the
 others follow him, and they proceed down a long flight of stairs to a door.
 In the next room...]


[Grodus is shown with Peach sitting behind him, next to a coffin]

Grodus: Too bad for you, Mario! You're too late!

Bobbery: What's this madness?!?

Grodus: Gaack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the legendary
        treasure! This tomb holds the soul of that ancient demon, the wielder
        of destruction... It will possess Peach's body...and bring life to the
        most powerful witch in millennia!

Bobbery: Possess Peach?!?

Princess Peach: M-Mario... I'm so s-sorry... Sending you that map... ...caused
                all this trouble, didn't it...

Grodus: Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule this
        pathetic world! The time has come at last! The world will be mine!!
        Now! Arise! ARISE!!! My Shadow Queen!

[The torches dim out and turn dark, then the coffin opens up and the legendary
 demon awakens. Some areas of the game are shown, as the entire world turns
 dark as if it was night]

Mayor Kroop: Uh... Er... Whuh... Hmmm... Umm... Wh-What's going on?

[At the Great Tree...]

Petuni: ...B-Brother?

Punio: The...sky... It's...

[At Glitzville...]

Jolene: What's all this?!? The sky... It's turning dark...

[Back at the palace...]

Shadow Queen: Who...has called me back?

Grodus: It is I, my Shadow Queen!

Shadow Queen: You... Very well... Where is the vessel?

Grodus: It is here! The girl who lies before you!

Shadow Queen: Yessss... A fine vessel... Now...

[She moves down to peach and possesses her. At Twilight Town, the area rumbles]

Villager: Ungh... YEEEEEEEEK!

[At Keelhaul Key...]


[At Poshley Heights...]

Penington: What's all this, then?!? Am I to deduce that this is...the end of
           the world?

[At the Fahr Outpost...]

Mayor: What...was that? Something terrible has happened...

[At the palace...]

Professor Frankly: No... Could that dark power have truly awakened? No! This is

[Back at the room where the Shadow Queen is, she takes control of Peach's body,
 revealing a dark form of Peach]

Shadow Queen: Muh huh huh huh huh... Witness my rebirth... My soul has not yet
              fully accustomed to this vessel... But I will learn to control
              this body soon enough...

Bobbery: P-Peach...

Grodus: Yes, my glorious witch queen... Destroy these impudent fools!

Shadow Queen: Who are you that would command me? What sort of being are you?

Grodus: Huh? What do you mean?!? I thought you were bound to obey the one who
        woke you! Enough of this prattle! Do as I say!!! NOW! Or I will send
        you back to the depths...

[The Shadow Queen strikes him with a flash of lightning, destroying everything
 but his head]

Shadow Queen: You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one
              commands me.

[She destroys Grodus's remains, which is just his head]

Shadow Queen: My powers are not yet fully restored... But...they will come in

Bobbery: Wh-What is all this? I don't understand, Mario...

Voice: My queen!

[Beldam, Marilyn and Doopliss appear]

Beldam: You have returned to us!

Shadow Queen: Ahh, Beldam... What ages have passed? So... You are the one truly
              responible for calling me back, yessss?

Beldam: Yes, my queen... I searched for a pure maiden that you might inhabit...
        And as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure... Then I led the
        fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal...

Shadow Queen: Yesss... You have fulfilled your duties admirably.

Beldam: I am not worthy, my queen...

Shadow Queen: And who are these...beings that stand before me?

[Bobbery steps back]

Shadow Queen: Yesss... They do not appear to possess power... ...But they may
              be of use. If you will become my faithful servants, I will not
              harm you.

Bobbery: Mario, we mustn't serve evil! You must resist, old boy!!!

 - Refuse this witch!
 - Become her servant.

[If "Become her servant." is chosen...]

Shadow Queen: Yesss... You are obedient... Good, my pet...

Shadow Queen: Now you are mine... You will serve me for eternity.

"And so the Shadow Queen engulfed the world with her foul magic... For Mario...
 For Peach... And for the world, it was..."

[From there, you just get a Game Over. If "Refuse this witch!" is chosen...]

Shadow Queen: I see... So you defy me... How...amusing...

Shadow Queen: Then, you wretched fools...you will learn the error of your ways!

[They battle her]

Shadow Queen: You are foolish to oppose me. Yesss...and that foolishness...will
              have to be punished...

Bobbery: I know Scarlette is watching over me from the other side! I KNOW it,
         old boy! If I don't send this queen packing, my girl will be most
         displeased, hm? Mario! Let's send this shady demon back to the

[After she takes a few good hits...]

Shadow Queen: Hmmm... So, you are not weak. Maybe you are less useless than you

Shadow Queen: This body is unfamiliar to me... Yesss, too unfamiliar... Let me
              assume my true form and show you real power...

[She floats up and her true body is revealed]

Shadow Queen: In this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me... You
              are lucky... You will perish with the honor of having seen true
              terror and power! Muh huh huh huh huh huh!

[After one turn of not damaging her at all...]

Shadow Queen: Muh huh huh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack?

[After another turn...]

Shadow Queen: Muh huh huh huh huh... Now, taste my power!

[After yet another turn...]

Shadow Queen: Hmmm... What a troublesome little pest you are. Muh huh huh huh

[She turns her hands into small hands and takes the audience]

Shadow Queen: Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage you may have
              caused earlier... And now...I will punish you for your

Bobbery: Mario, what's next, old boy? This looks rather dire...

[After the battle...]

Shadow Queen: I will ask you again... Will you serve me? If so, I will forgive
              you for this...

Bobbery: Serve a witch? My Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should

Shadow Queen: Muh huh huh huh huh... Very well... Then you will perish.

[Suddenly, a light emits from Mario]

Shadow Queen: What... What is this?

[The seven Crystal Stars rise up]

Bobbery: The Crystal Stars? Ohhhhh!!!

[They all rise up to the ceiling, and Rogueport is shown. A diagram appears in
 the middle, along with all seven Crystal Stars. At Petalburg, the first
 Crystal Star comes down]

Mayor Kroop: Hmmm, now?

[He walks up to it]

Mayor Kroop: What's this shiny thing?

[Koops's dad walks up to it]

Koops's Dad: Mayor! It's the Crystal Star! But I thought Mario had this

[Koopie Koo also walks up to it]

Mayor Kroop: ...I wonder, kids, if this is related to the sky getting all dark
             and whatnot...

Koops's Dad: Hmmm... You may be right, but I don't know. But if anything's
             happened to my boy Koops and Mario...

Koopie Koo: Oh, dear...

Koopie Koo: Koops... You're OK, right? You promised me you'd come back OK...

[At the Great Tree, the second Crystal Star appears]

Punio: Whoa! The Crystal Star!!!

Puni Elder: What in the world... What's THAT doing here? This is very
            mysterious... Yes, a mystery that...

Punio: Snap out of it, Elder!

Petuni: Brother!!! Mario's in trouble! That's what the Crystal Star is here to
        tell us! I just KNOW it!

Punio: What? Could it be... ...Hey, you're right, Petuni! I can hear... I can
       hear it! The Crystal Star is speaking to us! It's telling us that Mario
       is fighting to save the world! And he's in deep trouble...

Petuni: Mario! Flurrie! C'mon! Don't give up!

Punio: Yeah! You can do it, guys!

[All the Punies cheer for Mario. At Glitzville, the third Crystal Star appears]

Jolene: Gonzales... I mean, Mario...

Jolene: I know you're fighting far away right now. For us... For all of us..
        This Crystal Star has told us of your last, brave stand...

Jolene: Maybe we can't do much to help you... But we're thinking of you. All
        our wishes are for you... For your victory...

Rawk Hawk: Unh! Yeah! Yeah! Feel it! Rawk out, Great Gonzales!!!

Rawk Hawk: Listen to me, Gonzales! Anybody who's beat me is not ALLOWED to

Iron Cleft #1: That's right! You! Star! Tell that shrimp that beat us to never
               give in!


King K: We're sendin' you all our strength, G-man! You feelin' the love, my
        man? GONZALES!!!

Jolene: Fight on, Mario...

[At Twilight Town, the fourth Crystal Star is there]

Villager #1: Don't you give up, Mario!

[Everyone cheers for him]

Villager #2: Yeah! Never give in!

[They continue to cheer for him]

Villager #3: Mario... You may feel like it's going rough...like the tides have
             shifted against you... But if you lose, the world will be plunged
             into darkness... Please, don't give in.

Woman: Vivian was her name, right? I'm a bit worried about the girl that was
       with Mario... She seemed so innocent...

Mayor: They'll be fine, all of you. Mario will never give up. Mario will stand
       true. I... I still remember how easily he took care of that monster that
       cursed us. We must have faith in him. We must believe...that light will
       return to our world.

[They continue cheering for him. At Keelhaul Key...]

Grotto Toad #1: Mario, don't give up!

[The Toads cheer for him]

Pa-Patch: Come on, you bilge pumps!! I can't bloomin' 'ear you!

Grotto Toad #1: Fight, Bobbery! FIIIIIIGHT!!!

[They keep rooting for him]

Pa-Patch: ONCE MORE!!!

Grotto Toad #1: Go! Go! Go!

[They keep rooting]

Pa-Patch: Admiral Bobbery! Show them what a real sea bomb's made out of,

[The Toads keep cheering for him. At Poshley Heights...]

Girl Toad: I do hope they're all OK...

Pennington: Do not fear, my dear. Luigi is my finest pupil! I'm quite sure
            he'll prevail!

Goldbob's Wife: Well, I worry nonetheless... I so hope there is a future in
                which my little Bub can grow and prosper...

Goldbob: Well then, I suppose all we can do is give him a rousing cheer, hm?
         Yes, certainly! I am quite sure he can hear us through the power of
         this crystal!

Bub: Darn right, Dad!

Bub: Go, Gonzales! Go get 'em!!!

[They all root for him]

Pennington: Huh? M-Mario? G-Gonzales? Not L-Luigi??

[At the Fahr Outpost...]

Blue Bob-omb: We are assembled, Mayor.

Mayor: Da...

[They walk off to another area]

Mayor: Good work, my comrades. Now, let us do it.

Mayor: MARIOOO!!!

[They all cheer for him]

Mayor: Mario... You can do it...

[At the palace, Mario can hear everyone's voices]

Bobbery: Is that...

Bobbery: Can you hear them, Mario? So many voices...

[Mario nods. They listen to the voices]

Bobbery: They're... They're all sending us their wishes and positive energy...
         What wondrous creatures...

Shadow Queen: Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... What are these vile voices?

Bobbery: Mario! Look at THAT!!!

[A light emits from Peach's body]

Shadow Queen: What is this...light?

Shadow Queen: Oh...

Shadow Queen: Ohh...

Shadow Queen: Ooooohhhhhhhh....

[The Shadow Queen becomes vulnerable to attacks now]

Voice: Mario...

Bobbery: That voice... Princess Peach?!?

[Peach faintly appears]

Princess Peach: Mario... I...

Shadow Queen: Wh-What?!? You wretched little girl! You disobey me?!?

Princess Peach: Mario... Take... Take the last of my power...

[She gives Mario her remaining power, restoring all of his HP/FP/SP and all of
 the HP of his partner]

Bobbery: What... What's THIS, now? I feel rather like a new Bob-omb! I feel

Shadow Queen: You brat! Obey me, girl!

Princess Peach: Farewell...Mario... I believe...in you...

[She disappears]

Bobbery: PEACH!!!

Shadow Queen: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Very cunning, Princess!

Shadow Queen: But you will not undo me! Know me as your queen!

[They battle for one last time]

Bobbery: Mario! The time is ripe! We've almost done it!

Shadow Queen: Enough! This ends now!

[As the battle goes on...]

Shadow Queen: Wh-What... H-How is it that you can hurt me?

Bobbery: Ah, yes, MUCH better! Prepare for payback!

Shadow Queen: Foooooooooools!

[After quite a few more hits...]

Shadow Queen: Muh huh huh... You do not know what you have done...

[Later on in the battle...]

Shadow Queen: Uuurghh... No... It... It cannot be... How...

[After she's defeated...]


[After the battle...]

Shadow Queen: Impossible... Unthinkable... How could I... I cannot be beaten by
              lesser beings such as these... And I had just been reborn into
              this world... I cannot... I must not...


Beldam: My queen!

Marilyn: Guhhhhh!!!

[The Shadow Queen dies completely, and Peach is back to normal. The candles
 become normal as well]

Beldam: NOOOO! Let's get out of here, Marilyn!

[Beldam disappears]

Marilyn: Guh-huh!

Doopliss: Hey! HEY! Hey, wait!

[Doopliss leaves]

Bobbery: Princess Peach!

[He walks over to her]

Bobbery: Mario! Over here, old boy!

[Mario walks up to her]

Bobbery: The princess is all right! She's not even hurt!

Princess Peach: Ugghhh... Ahhh...

[She wakes up]

Princess Peach: Mario...

[He steps towards her]

Princess Peach: So... It's all over, then...

[Mario nods]

Princess Peach: I'm so sorry, Mario... Who knew all this would happen?

Bobbery: Don't you dare apologize, my dear! It was all in a day's work for us,

[She gets up]

Princess Peach: Thank you... All of you...

Voice: Ah-hah! THERE you are, Mario!

[Professor Frankly enters]

Professor Frankly: Well, well... Can you believe those brutes even came after
                   me, an old Goomba?!? But I still made it here... I was so
                   worried about you all, you have no idea!

Professor Frankly: By the look of things, though, I guess we're in the clear,
                   am I right? You kids sure are the real thing, I tell you...

[Mario responds]

Professor Frankly: Yes... I seem to be in one piece, too, so all is well. So...
                   Without further ado... Take a look at this!

[He takes out a treasure]

Professor Frankly: I found this on the way! This must be the treasure we heard
                   rumors of in Rogueport! My theory has been correct all these
                   years! There really WAS a legendary treasure!

Bobbery: Oh, Frankly...

Professor Frankly: No, don't bring me down, now! It might be something great!
                   And all's well that ends well. Now, how do we get out of
                   this dank place, anyway?

[Mario nods]

Princess Peach: Mmmmmm... Let's go home, Mario. Back to everyone...

[Mario agrees]


Ending [ENDG]

[At Rogueport...]

Professor Frankly: So... You're leaving, then.

Professor Frankly: Well, that's too bad... Having you around really did wonders
                   for my research...

Goombella: Aw, Professor, we'd never let you monopolize Mario for your
           research, anyway! Besides, you said I could be your research
           assistant for next term!

Professor Frankly: Hrmm... Yes, that's right. And I thank you, Goombella.

Professor Frankly: Mario... Even after you leave here, please don't forget
                   about us, all right? And we, in return, will wish that you
                   find all the best in the future.

Goombella: Never ever give up, Mario! That's the most important thing I learned
           from you... Thanks, Mario. Just promise me you'll think of me now
           and again, OK?

Koops: Ummm... Mario... Thanks to you, I've found courage and inner strength. I
       don't know how to say this, but...I think I like myself more since I've
       known you... And I feel like I've grown closer to my dad. It's all so
       hard to put into words... Ummmmm...

Flurrie: My dear, dear Mario... I am ready to make my comeback in the theater
         now. I've found so many things on this journey that I can only express
         on stage... And with these new themes...I am so ready for that
         wonderful spotlight again! Please do come see me once we've finished
         rehearsing! And bring Peach too, dear!

Yoshi: Gonzales... Oh, yeah, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's MARIO,
       right? Well... You'll always be Gonzales to me, man! Because I was born
       in the Glitz Pit, and Gonzales is, and always will be, the champ! So
       let's meet again, Gonzales! I mean it, man!


Vivian: Uhhhh... Mario... I... I feel... I feel like I've grown to lo-- Uh,
        yeah, um, never mind... ...Y-Yeah, I sure do think that you and Peach
        make a nice couple... Hmm hmm hmm... I... I'll never forget my time
        traveling with you. So... Don't forget me either...

Bobbery: Well, old boy... It was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet
         you... If not for you, then my dear Scarlette would still gaze down on
         a broken Bob-omb... But now, I'm off to sea again! I know Scarlette
         would have wanted it that way... Let's see each other again, Mario!
         And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!

Toadsworth: Well, the boat's almost here...


[Punio and Petuni arrive, carrying Mushrooms]

Punio: Ah, we made it just in time!

Petuni: Take these with you!

Punio: We brought them so you'd have something to eat on the boat! Yummy!

Petuni: These are VERY fresh Mushrooms!

[Mario takes both Mushrooms]

Princess Peach: Oh, how lovely! Thank you!

Princess Peach: Everyone... If not for all of you, the world would have fallen
                into a horrible darkness. But your brave hearts strove for
                peace... ...and saved this world! I don't know how to thank
                you...but know that the entire world is in your debt!

Professor Frankly: What? Nonsense! We're the ones who should be thanking you,
                   Princess! If you hadn't come to our little town... We'd all
                   be puppets for the Shadow Queen and Grodus! The thought
                   gives me hives!

Toadsworth: Ah! Look! Your Highness! I see the boat!

[Mario nods]

Princess Peach: Take care, everyone! Farewell!

[The boat arrives]

Sailor: Oh, forgive my lateness, sir! I must have dozed off a bit! But please,
        come on board! I'll get you folks back at full steam!!!

[Mario and Peach board the boat]

Sailor: Set a course for the Mushroom Kingdom!

[The boat sails away. On the boat...]

Princess Peach: They are all such lovely people, don't you think?

Princess Peach: I don't have too many good memories of Rogueport, what with the
                kidnapping and all... But it really is a vibrant town full of
                love for life, isn't it?

Princess Peach: Mario... I was very frightened when they took me. But...
                Well... TEC was really there for me and helped me get through
                it all. And I knew that you would come to help me, as well... I
                always believe in that... Thank you, Mario. I... Maybe I should
                listen to Toadsworth and behave more like a princess from now

[Mario nods. They both see the sunlight]

Princess Peach: Mario! Look out there! Rogueport's positively shining! It's so

[Rogueport is shown from far away. Much later, at Mario's house...]

Luigi: ...Oh, wow, that's crazy, Bro! You had a pretty rough time of it, didn't

[The inside is shown]

Luigi: But now that Peach is safe, I guess everything's OK. Really, though, how
       amazing is it that you saved the world again? AGAIN, Bro! ...And say,
       it's been a little while since then... Are you ready for a new

[Mario nods]

Luigi: Yeah, you the man, Bro! I wonder what everyone who traveled with you is
       up to?

[Mario gets mail]

Luigi: Whoa, what was that, Bro?!? Was that your newfangled mail gadget?

[Mario and Luigi get up and Mario opens his Mailbox SP]

"Dear Mario,
 What's up? Goombella here! I'm still here working with Professor Frankly. We
 beat the Shadow Queen, but there's tons of Rogueport lore we still don't
 get... So, my research with the professor goes on and on."

[Frankly's office is shown, with Goombella working with him]

Goombella: With the info I gathered with you, we have lots of great leads now,
           though! Mario... Like I always said, every myth contains a kernel of
           truth. Speaking of which, know what ws in the chest that the
           professor recovered? You're totally not gonna believe me when I tell
           you. It's... A secret! Ha ha ha ha ha! But I'll tell you next time I
           see you.

[At the Petal Meadows...]

Goombella: As part of my research, I did go back to many of the places we
           visited... And I saw everyone we traveled with, too!

[At Petalburg, Koops is talking to Koopie Koo]

Goombella: Koops is living peacefully in Petalburg with his dad and Koopie Koo.
           And, Mario... Guess what Koops wants to do now! He wants to become
           mayor of Petalburg and live there in peace! Can you imagine? Still,
           it might just be perfect for him, come to think of it. He's so much
           more of an adult now than when you left Rogueport! ...Still, I think
           Koopie Koo pretty much has him wrapped around her little finger!

[A battle is shown of Flurries and Doopliss acting on stage]

Goombella: Flurrie's back on stage in a big way, and the crowds are totally
           ecstatic. And, the play she's doing right now is the story of our
           adventure! Yeah! It's called "Paper Mario"! I saw it twice! It was
           totally the best play ever! And somehow, Doopliss has joined the
           troupe as an actor! Who saw that coming? His transformation skills
           are serving him well, but it still kind of creeps me out...

[At Glitzville, Goombella is talking to Yoshi]

Goombella: Oh, and little Yoshi? Yeah, he's fighting solo in the Glitz Pit! He
           says he's getting pretty close to a title match, even! Isn't that
           just ADORABLE? Oh, yeah, he's calling himself "The Great Gonzales
           Jr." in the ring, by the way. It's sorta silly, but kinda cute, too,
           don'tcha think? Oh, and... Wait, I have to get this exactly right or
           he'll get like, SO mad at me... He, uh, said that he could "totally
           take you in the ring now, so bring it!" I guess he doesn't change...
           Isn't that too cute?

[At Twilight Town, Goombella is talking to Vivian, then Beldam and Marilyn

Goombella: Vivian's gone back to hang out with her sisters. Family is
           important, after all... Now that the Shadow Queen has been defeated,
           I don't think Beldam's into evil. Oh, and Beldam also promised me
           she would never be mean to Vivian ever again. Yup, I think the three
           sirens are going to live pretty peacefully from now on... But you
           should totally go visit her sometime.

[The Black Skull can be seen sailing the seas. At Keelhaul Key, Goombella is
 talking to Pa-Patch]

Goombella: Bobbery goes out to sea every day now with Cortez... I think his
           soul has healed. I ran into him on Keelhaul Key by accident the
           other day, which was nice. He was so happy, I thought he was going
           to blow up on me for a second there. You know... I bet Scarlette is
           looking down on him and smiling right now. Oh, and I almost
           forgot... Everyone on Keelhaul Key is well, and they say hello.

[At the Poshley Heights, X-Nauts, Grodus's head, and Crump are shown]

Goombella: Oh, yeah... In my travels, I heard a rumor that Lord Crump and
           Grodus were both still alive. I guess that makes them pretty
           tenacious baddies, doesn't it, Mario? But they've mellowed a lot,
           just like Beldam has, and I don't expect more trouble. Plus, I hear
           Grodus is just a head, which really cuts down on mischief-making.

[The Rogueport Sewers is shown. Goombella enters the building leading to the
 X-Naut Fortress teleportal, then the moon is shown]

Goombella: Speaking of miracle survivals... Guess whose favorite computer is
           still computing? He says he really wants to see you and Peach again!

[The Rogueport harbor is shown]

Goombella: Well, I'm totally rambling at this point, so I guess I'd better wrap
           it up... I just wanna say, even though things got tough, I'm
           grateful for our time together. And... There is one thing that kind
           of weigehed on me and I never got to express to you. See, I...
           Well... Maybe that's best kept a secret.

[Back at Mario's house...]

"So, please say hi to Peach for me, OK? 'Til we meet again!"

                                Your friend, Goombella.

Luigi: Hey! That's awesome, Bro! Sounds like everyone's doing great over there!

[Mario nods, and someone knocks on Mario's door]

Luigi: Huh? Someone here?

Voice: Excuse me, sirs!

[Toadsworth enters with Peach]

Princess Peach: Hello, Mario. Hello, Luigi.

Toadsworth: Please allow me to apologize for coming unannounced, but... I was
            cleaning out the storeroom in the castle the other day, and... I
            found something rather amazing!

Princess Peach: Yes... Toadsworth found a treasure map! And I'm sure it will
                lead to REAL treasure this time! I just know it!

Princess Peach: So, Mario! You'd love to look for treasure, isn't that right?
                The boat's waiting for you!

[Toadsworth and Peach leave, with Mario having a weird expression on his face.
 The credits now roll]

"The End"


III. Email Info

If you wish to email me about this guide, whether it be a comment or a typo,
or even a big error in the guide, then email me at my email listed at the top
of this guide. For those who are lazy, my email is ganonpuppet@yahoo.com. Email
me there, and I'll add whatever it is I missed, or fix whatever it is I messed
up on as soon as possible. Please make the subject something to do with the
game (such as "Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door Game Script"), so I'll know
that your email isn't spam.


IV. Credits

Credits go to you for reading this guide.
Credits go to me for taking the time to write this guide.
Credits go to Nintendo for making such an amazing game!


V. Copyrights

Do not copy this guide without my permission. If you attempt to do that
without my permission, you will be in trouble with the law. For permission,
email me at my email address listed at the top of this guide, I may say yes, I
may say no, it depends. This guide is a Copyright (c) 2007, and was created by
Jesse Winstead. All rights reserved. The following sites have been allowed to
use this guide:


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