Review by Jubjub

Reviewed: 08/24/03

How lame can snowboarding get? Play this game to find out.

Dark Summit is easily one the worst snowboarding games I have ever played. And this is coming from someone who has actually played the horror that is CoolBoarders 2! If there was ever a game that I could wish had never been created, it would be Metroid Prime (worst GC game, 1/10), but Dark Summit is a close second.

For some reason, the moron developers and producers of this crap decided to implement a storyline into the game. You play some ugly woman who looks to be in her late fourties as she attempts to stop communists from taking over her beloved mountain. And how does she go about doing this? By snowboarding! In the name of all that is holy and sacred, please make my brain stopping hurting!!!

So, we're trying to get through the incredibly boring and terribly designed levels, crashing into many trees and explosive barrels. And it isn't because we suck at the game, it's because the game is just so poorly made that it makes attempting to control our ugly heroin all the more futile. And just wait until you need to do a trick or something in order to stop one of those Communist commandos from blowing up a lowly snowman. Because this will bring about frustration and stress that can only be compared to being forced to watch your family be butchered alive in front of you. Press the buttons in the exact order in the exact timing required and you will still fail! Why must this game torture me so? Make the burning end!!!

Now why, praytell, would anyone be even halfway semi-interested in playing something that sounds as lame as this game does? Well you would have to ask my friend Tyrel. I did and here is the discussion: (my words are in bold, Tyrel's are in italic)

Why in the bloody *expletive deleted* hell would you waste your money renting this crap?

I dunno, it seemed like it might have been sorta cool. plus dude, the chick has big boobs!

Yeah, but she's ugly as hell, even for a video game character.

Shut up dude, you just hate it because you can't play worth a crap!

Whatever man, get this pile of crap out of my house...

So, after the arguing ended, we tried to play just one last time to see if maybe, by one small chance, it had gotten better. Alas, it just kept getting worse and worse. Terrible graphics, controls, gameplay, mountain layout, all packaged in with a completely unneccesary and boring (as well as stupid) storyline make this easily one of the worst games to be released in recent memory.

May God have mercy on the souls who dared to release this plague upon our little blue planet. For this game will bring about mankind's darkest hour...

Rating:   1.0 - Terrible

Would you recommend this Review? Yes No

Got Your Own Opinion?

Submit a review and let your voice be heard.