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Rival/Gym Leaders/Elite Four FAQ by Richard Walker

Version: 1.2 | Updated: 01/01/06

for GameBoy/Color/Advance/SP
Rival/Gym Leaders/Elite Four FAQ
Version 1.2
by Richard Walker

-Table of Contents
Legal information
Version history
Getting started
Basic information
Codes and secrets
Tips before you start
Your Rival
The Gym Leaders
The Elite Four
Catching Mewtwo
Contact info
The final word

-Legal information
This document is copyright ©2005- 2006 Richard Walker. All rights written and
reserved. This document and parts thereof may not be copied, paraphrased, or
reproduced in any form without prior written consent from the author, Richard
Walker. This document may be freely distributed only if it remains unedited, it
stays free to public access, and proper credit is given.

Richard Walker(email@richard-walker.cjb.net) is the author, creator, and
owner of this document. All material contained in this document is the work of
the author, unless otherwise stated in the 'Credits' section. The author is in
no way associated with creators and owners of the game, nor the companies
involved with it.

This document was written on Notepad and is best viewable in 'Courier New' font.
It has eighty characters per line.

Hey hey, welcome to Richard Walker's Pokémon Red and Blue FAQ! This isn't a
walkthrough of the entire game(Though I may do one... one day). No, this is a
FAQ for those who are having trouble with that damn rival(Whom I will call Gary,
like you're supposed to), the Gym Leaders(Who all suck), and the Elite Four(Who
all suck). Pokémon games have always been close to my heart, especially my
champion Pokémon Red cart with the undefeated combination. But enough
sentimental shiznit, and on with the FAQ.

-Version history
01/01/06- Happy new year! Went through the FAQ attacking spelling mistakes, and
added a section on how to catch the big kahuna himself, in the new 'Catching
Mewtwo' section.
13/07/05- Mysteriously, GameFAQs put this under Pokémon Blue when I sent it
under Pokémon Red. I don't mind, so I made the necessary changes. Also edited
some spelling mistakes, and updated some strategies(Some I left out completely!)
01/06/05- My Pokémon Red FAQ is born. 'Tis my biggest FAQ so far.

-Getting started
Make sure your GameBoy/Color/Advance/SP is switched off, then insert your
Pokémon Red or Blue cartridge. Now switch on your GameBoy/Color/Advance/SP.

For a two player game, make sure the GameBoy/Color/Advance/SPs are switched off,
then insert a Pokémon Red or Blue cartridge(Or any other compatible Pokémon
game) into each GameBoy/Color/Advance/SP. Afterwards, insert a GameBoy
Pocket/Advance link cable into each GameBoy/Color/Advance/SP. Now switch on both

-Basic information
The main Pokémon GameBoy games are always RPG format. You are a kid who wants to
learn about the world of Pokémon. So you embark on a quest to become the
greatest trainer inside your game cartridge, and record an entry for every
Pokémon in your Pokédex(Hence the slogan 'Gotta catch 'em all!'). Still today,
catching all one-hundred-and-fifty-one monsters is considered a feat only
achievable able by the elite... or someone with too much time on their hands.
Pokémon battles are where everything happens- you're either catching a Pokémon,
trying to kill it to move on, or beating the ass of a trainer.

A button: Confirm
B button: Cancel
D pad: Move cursor
Up+B+Select button: Delete saved game(Title screen only)

A button: Speak to somebody/Pick up item
D pad: Move around
Start button: Open menu

A button: Confirm
B button: Cancel
D pad: Move cursor

-Codes and secrets
There are too many damn cheats, codes, and glitches in Pokémon Red and Blue, and
seeing this is only a FAQ for certain objects in the game, it figures I
shouldn't put up any cheats, codes, or glitches... but I shall put up one.

Fishing? In the Pokémon League? Absurd? Yes, yes, and no. You can fish in the
Lorelei's dominion(With all rods), or in one of Lance's Pokémon statue(Only with
the Old Rod). Great for last minute experience! Crap, my sarcasm detector just
caught fire.

-Tips before you start
A few tips before you begin playing Pokémon Red or Blue. Read up, sucka.

   Pokémon Red and Blue are RPGs that involves some thought every now and again.
   My FAQ should be used as nothing but a reference, when you get really stuck
   for pointers. This game is meant for you to have fun, not search on the 'net
   and find people who are way better looking than you and can play the game.
   Follow-up to the point above. Everything I say is right and helpful, but you
   shouldn't just follow it all. Explore with your own ways to beat other
   trainers. Hell, I didn't use a lot of these points when I first beat the

-Your Rival
Your Rival(I'll call him Gary because that's what he SHOULD be called) is
basically the arrogant little bastard who starts out on his Pokémon journey at
the same time as you. He is Professor Oak's grandson also, and Gary ALWAYS seem
to be one step ahead of you. Damnit...

The first time you will face lovable old Gary is in Professor Oak's lab. You've
just picked your first Pokémon on your journey, and Gary- being to the crapweed
that he is- picked the monster with the advantage. Not crucial now, but it
means everything later on. So, before you leave the lab to start the
adventure... Gary the crapweed challenges you to a battle. Let's show him, eh...

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Bulbasaur(Lv5)/Squirtle(Lv5)/Charmander(Lv5)
Prize: Nothing, cheap-ass
First fight eh? This is the lowdown of what he's got: if YOU chose Bulbasaur, HE
chose the fiery Charmander. If you chose Charmander, Gary picked the wet blanket
Squirtle. And if you chose Squirtle, he chose... ah hell, enough with the bad
jokes- Bulbasaur. Well, it doesn't matter really if you win or lose, although
you'll be slightly richer. If you got either Charmander or Squirtle, just use
Scratch/Tackle over and over and you'll finish him in no time. But with
Bulbasaur... you may have to use a Potion. Yeah, the one you got from your PC
before you even left your room. Was that easy or was that easy?

Now, this is optional. Basically after you deliver Professor Oak's custom
Pokéball package, the old man who blocks Route 2 will get his ass up. You'll be
able to buy Pokéballs to expand your pitiful collection. But most importantly
for now... you get a second clash with the crapweed himself, Gary Oak. Like I
said, 'tis an optional battle- you can completely ignore Gary as this encounter
won't be in your main route. But you can go for the extra experience points and
challenge him. Gary is on Route 22, figure out where it is. Gary won't appear
here anymore after you beat Brock in the Pewter city gym, so you can get all the
experience you want before you trek back to Route 22 to face him(I advise you
get a Pikachu from the Viridian Forest- this is great training for the little
yellow squirt).

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgey(Lv9), Bulbasaur(Lv8)/Squirtle(Lv8)/Charmander(Lv8)
Prize: Nothing, cheap-ass
Gary's acquired a Bird Pokémon for this time around, and what's worse is it's at
a fairly high level. It's Gust attack is pretty badass, and Sand Attack will
down your Pokémon's accuracy stat. Take it down quickly- if you have a Pikachu
in your squad, that will be easy. If not, fight it with your starter or even
your own Pidgey. Anything else is pretty much useless. And when the starter
comes out... I hope you have your own Pidgey, because you'll need to fight
fire with fire here and use that cowardly Sand Attack. Of course, if you have a
Pikachu and Gary has a Squirtle, this will be hella easy. Bulbasaur doesn't
pose much of a threat, hell your Squirtle could take him out. Charmander has an
awesome attack stat(Why didn't you pick him you MORON) so Scratch is a
devastating move at this point in time. But, lowering his accuracy is advisable
so he can't use it, and you can move in for the kill.

It will be a while before you see the crapweed(AKA Gary Oak) again, but sure
enough he sticks his ugly mug in your business again. In Cereulean City, as you
try to go up north via the bridge to Route 24 ala Nugget Bridge, Gary will pop
up and present a challenge. And this time, he's beefed up his team. You better
have a well-balanced squad of killers ready to do tha bizzy with the shizzy yo!!

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgeotto(Lv18), Abra(Lv15), Rattata(Lv15),
Nothing: Nothing, cheap-ass
Gary the crapweed begins strong with a Pidgeotto. Still have that Pikachu? Now
is it's time to shine yet again. Destroy it with Thundershock, but beware of
that damn Quick Attack(Pokémon using that move will ALWAYS strike first,
regardless of either Pokémon's speed stat. If both monsters use Quick Attack on
the same turn, it will come down to the speed stat to see who attacks first,
like any normal move). Pikachu has a lame defense stat. And if you don't have a
Pikachu, your own Pidgeotto or your starter will do nicely here. Or if you did
yourself a favor and caught a Geodude... use it, damnit! Next comes Abra... well
Gary, this proves being the grandson of a Poké Professor does JACK for your
intelligence. Abra has only Teleport, and since that isn't even an attack, he's
pretty screwed. Send out one of those Pokémon who need experience to keep up
with your squad to do the job here. Rattata is out afterwards, and Hyper Fang is
an attack to be frightened of. Take it out first, or the rat with the serious
dental problems will reign supreme. And finally, the starting Pokémon.
Interestingly enough, it hasn't evolved into it's second stage, even though it's
like two levels over. Whatever. For Bulbasaur use a Bird or Normal Pokémon, for
Charmander use the same(Or if you picked up a Geodude in Mount Moon, put it to
use), and for Squirtle use... well, the same(Or the Pikachu, if you have it).
Done, done, and done.

We've moved on quite a bit here! On the S.S Anne, when you try to go to the
captain's room, Gary's just been in there checking on the boat captain. Trying
to distract the driver get and us all killed, are you crapweed? Whatever. He
STILL believes he's amassed a better team than you. Since Gary Oak is a
fictional character in a kickass video game, I choose to differ. In preparation,
I advise for you heavily train your starter, catch an Abra and train it to
Lv18(It evolves into Kadabra, one of the best Pokémon you can get at this
stage), catch a Geodude(From Mt. Moon, you MORON), and make sure you've got
yourself a good Grass Pokémon. It won't prove all that useful in this match in
particular, but it will do in the later Gym Leader battles, and later Gary

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgeotto(Lv19), Raticate(Lv16), Kadabra(Lv18),
Prize: Nothing, that cheap-ass
Well, for a crapweed, Gary certainly has stepped up his game. Evolution reigns
supreme here. He begins- once again- with Pidgeotto. If you had little problems
with it then, you'll have little problems with it now. Use Geodude, Pikachu,
your own starter, or even your own Bird Pokémon. Before I go to the next
strategy, I have to ask- what steroid is Gary unleashing on his damn Rattata?
It shouldn't evolve until level-freakin'-twenty! Am I right? Of course I am. I'm
always right. Enough of my awesomeness, back to the fight. Hyper Fang poses an
even larger threat to you now, seeing as it's backed by a very big attack stat.
Should little Pika get bitten here, he's out for the count, so leave him be.
Geodude on the other hand is a Rock Pokémon, and although Gary is stupid enough
to make his Pokémon bite rocks, it will have little effect. Otherwise, your
starter(Evolved, I hope), can deal with it. Kadabra is next, and by God it's
not going to be easy. Confusion is an great move to have in your repertoire at
this stage, as it's a Psychic move, and only other Psychic Pokémon can really
absorb a Psychic attack. Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! That's why I
advised you get your own Kadabra in the mix, as it's so valuable, and even
more valuable if you can get it to evolve into Alakazam(By trading to another
Pokémon game). The only real Achilles heel that Kadabra has is a lame defense
statistic. Take advantage of that by sending out your Bird Pokémon, or
Geodude('Tis risky as it has a pathetic special stat, and may not be able to
withstand the Confusion attack). And finally, the crapweed sends out his
starter. Now if you have this Kadabra, use it here to awesome
effect(Especially if Gary has a Ivysaur; the damn thing is weak to Psychic
attacks, hahaha!). If not(And you really should have one, you MORON), use
that Bird Pokémon, or Pikachu(But not for Ivysaur). Done, done, and done.

The fifth battle between you and arch rival Gary will be in the Pokémon Tower(I
hope you're not frightened of GH-GH-GH-GHOSTS!!), on level two. You won't need
the Silph Scope to fight him either(Totally useless fact #1: Richard used to
pronounce Silph 'spliff'), as he isn't dead, and he isn't a ghost. But my
friends, we live in hope that one day he will die a horrible, sharp death. It
pays to have your Pokémon in the levels of twenty to twenty-five here,
especially your starter and a Kadabra.

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgeotto(Lv25), Growlithe(Lv23), Exeggcute(Lv22), Kadabra(Lv20),
Prize: Nothing, that cheap-ass
This will be the last time you see Gary 'the crapweed' Oak for a exceptionally
long while, so savor the beating, people. Pidgeotto is the opening act, and has
got an interesting attack stat- I keep saying it, beware of Quick Attack. Use
Geodude(Or Graveller, if you're a good trainer) here to absorb all the attacks,
and deliver the pounding punch, or Pikachu(Hopefully you've wasted TM24
Thunderbolt on it), whichever you will. Growlithe is the next victim, has a
pathetic Fire move in the guise of Ember, and Bite which can randomly make the
recipient flinch(Miss a turn, basically). Geodude can shine brightly here, or
you can put on your starter(Even Ivysaur will put up a good fight, provided it
isn't barraged with repeated Ember attacks). Exeggcute... somehow, it's a Grass
Pokémon. To the relief of some, it's movelist only has Hypnosis and Barrage.
While Barrage is annoying, it's quite damaging. And Hypnosis is the most
irritating move, EVER. Only Wrap and Fire Spin come close to this. In case
you're a MORON, Hypnosis puts you to sleep. I advise you stay asleep should you
get put to bed rather than wasting Awakenings. But whatever, you can do it if
you wish. The key is getting rid of Exeggcute quickly, so do that. Bird Pokémon
are good at this, especially Fearow and it's Wing Attack(Grass Pokémon are
pussies when put in against a beak-weilding badass). Kadabra is here, and isn't
a lot better than the last fight. Nonetheless, that's still pretty damn good.
You must always try to out-muscle Kadabra, especially so late in the battle.
If your starter happens to be Charmeleon, use Scratch to great effect. Or, use
Geodude/Graveller and cross your fingers. AND FINALLY, we have the starting
Pokémon. Ivysaur should be finished off by a Bird monster, Charmeleon should
eventually use Rage and give you the oppurtunity to... well, squash it with
anything(And if not, use Kadabra or Geodude AGAIN), and for Wartortle turn it up
with Pikachu and Thunderbolt- oh hell yeah!

You're in the Silph Co. building in Saffron City. Finally, you've made it to
level seven, where you need to be to get to the Silph Co. boss(Giovanni). All is
OK, and- HE'S BACK! Gary sticks his head where it's not needed to gloat about...
something. Buddy, take it from me- nobody cares what you have to say. I'm
talking to a GameBoy game character, so I better stop before I start talking to
my DVD player(Yeah, like YOU don't). I sure hope your team has been healed up,
and they are of great quality here. Because Gary has brought his A-team, and
he's pretty good...

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgeot(Lv37), Growlithe(Lv37), Exeggcute(Lv35), Alakazam(Lv35),
Prize: Nothing, that cheap-ass
I'll give my credit to that crapweed; he's gathered up quite a ferocious team.
It's scary how the team have progressed, and I sincerly hope yours have as well.
We can't afford to have ANY puny Lv20s here, or even Lv30s. Lv32 and upwards,
people. Gary begins with the evolved Pidgeot(Crap, what IS it with this guy and
Pidgey/Pidgeotto/Pidgeot opening the battles?!). With Wing Attack in it's
movelist now, it's pretty dangerous. Use Graveller and the full effect, or
Raichu(TELL me you've evolved that little yellow squirt), or your starter(Unless
it's Venusaur, because he will die a nasty death). And a good Normal type
monster will go down well here. Next is Growlithe, and it's devastating Take
Down attack is to be feared. Fortunately, it still only has that pathetic Ember
move and the absolutely useless Roar attack(Doesn't work in trainer battles, you
MORON), so you can use your starter to rid it. Or, if you were smart enough to
bag yourself a good Water Pokémon prior to this Gary fight, use that. That Water
Pokémon won't be too good against Exeggcute, but once again Gary looks like a
total bitch because Exeggcute's movelist is Hypnosis, Leech Seed, Stun Spore,
and Reflect. Appetizing, no? That's just asking for it. What a turd. Figure out
what you want to use, and move on. The dangerous Alakazam is up in the battle
field, and good God almighty it's going to kill ALL your Poképals if you give it
the chance. It has Psybeam to flatten everything, and Recover to undo your hard
work. We're nearing the end of this battle, so take heart in that! Anything that
doesn't have a low special stat can fare well here. If you have ANY Pokémon with
Slash, use it here! Or else, use your own judgment. The final evolution stage of
the starter is in your face here, and again use what you like. Just remember the
type advantages, and that if you're facing a Charizard, it's a dual Fire AND
Flying type. Ground-type attacks will miss it wildly. Electric attacks are
recommended. Grass attacks are now heavily disadvantaged. Water attacks still
work wonders. Jebus... that was tough.

Whee! You're on a role here, aren't you? You've gotten the eight gym badges, and
now you're scooting onto beat the tough-as-freakin'-nails Elite Four to cement
your legacy in a video game cartridge. Yup, back to that long stretch on Route
22... crap, Gary's there! He's got the badges too, he's going to battle the
Elite Four too!! FITIZZLE MY NIZZLE, HOLY SHIZZLE!</sarcasm>

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgeot(Lv47), Rhyhorn(Lv45), Growlithe(Lv45), Exeggcute(Lv47),
Alakazam(Lv50), Venusaur(Lv53)/Blastoise(Lv53)/Charizard(Lv53)
Prize: Nothing, that cheap-ass
I speak for us all when I say... what the hell?! What kind of illegal steroids
is Gary feeding his Pokémon(Totally useless fact #2: WWE superstar Triple H
calls them 'protein supplements')? As if his team couldn't get any scarier. Now
we really have to take the attention away from his truly God-awful hairstyle
and get down to buisness. Pidgeot is up first(Like it has been for the last FIVE
BATTLES! Jebus, variety is the spice of life Gary!), get rid of it with
Graveller/Golem, or some Electric Pokémon attack. Hell, even Normal Pokémon will
go down good(Note that it's OK to have ONE Normal-type Pokémon at this stage. I
had Raticate). After the merciless death of Pidgeot, it comes to our attention
that crapweed has acquired a Rhyhorn. I'm sure you know what kills Rock Pokémon
here? Right(And in case you don't because you suck, it's Grass, Water, and
Ground attacks). Growlithe is fairly beatable, so long as you don't get hit with
Take Down. Ember is lame(And he STILL has it), Leer is gay(Yeah, right...), and
Agility is useless(Why? WHY?! Who cares which Pokémon is faster? You need to
KICK IT'S ASS!). Fortunately it doesn't know it's best attack, Flamethrower.
Pathetic, Gary. Exeggcute is finally worthy of a lengthy description on how to
get rid of it, as it is quite formidable now. Leech Seed will sap your
strength(Unless you're using a Grass Pokémon against it... which isn't a bad
idea, especially if it's Venusaur), Solarbeam to cause maximum Grass damage, and
Poison Powder and Stun Spore to interfere and piss you off. Like before, the key
is getting rid of it before it can set up your Pokémon in an insurmountable
position. Use Fire or Flying to get rid of the eggs. Omelette, anyone? Yeah, my
jokes rule. Next is ALAKAZAM, and I hope and pray you have a Pokémon with an
awesome physical attack to take it down FAST. Slash is a good choice. Cut is
good. Fly is better. Just get rid of it! Finally, here's the starter... yawn.
Actually, stop yawning because they have some of their best attacks on board.
Blastoise is equipped with Hydro Pump, Charizard with Flamethrower, and Venusaur
with... Growth. OK, not all of them. That Normal Pokémon would be OK here, or
hit them with what you please, bearing in mind that Charizard and Venusaur are
dual types. They can be doubly resistant to something, or doubly endangered.
Don't ask me what attacks will get rid of them, you MUST know by now. But hey,
there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Done, done, and done.

It's the last big battle of the game. After you've squashed the Elite Four, you
are announced as the undisputed Pokémon champion in your game cartridge... oh
wait. You've just had four gruelling battles, no doubt your team is exhausted
beyond repair. And you have to face... GARY! Yes, the crapweed who always
remained a step in front of you has made it to the top before you. And, he's not
there to pass the time of day...

Trainer: Gary Oak
Pokémon: Pidgeot(Lv61), Alakazam(Lv59), Rhydon(Lv61)
IF HE PICKED BULBASAUR: Gyarados(Lv61), Arcanine(Lv63), Venusaur(Lv65)
IF HE PICKED CHARMANDER: Exeggutor(Lv61), Gyarados(Lv63), Charizard(Lv65)
IF HE PICKED SQUIRTLE: Arcanine(Lv61), Exeggutor(Lv63), Blastoise(Lv65)
Prize: Nothing... he's still a friggin' CHEAP-ASS
You'll find with a squad like this, Gary ain't cuttin' you any slack this time
around. It's time to get serious, because it's serious stakes here. I hope you
have been able to maintain something that resembles a team of Pokémon throughout
the Elite Four carnage. The idea of this fight is to see if you can top the best
the game can give with worn out Pokémon(They might not be, depends on how good
they really are), because unlike before you have no chance to heal your squad
before the Gary battle(Totally useless fact #3: Richard's squad is always like
new before he faces Gary). And this only the fight to find out if you are truly
at least a REAL trainer in world of worldwide Pokémon trainers, so there's no
pressure. Pidgeot up first(Surprise, freakin' surprise), and the crapweed
obviously wants to try and knock you down fast, as Pidgeot is a formidable
bastard. Sky Attack is devastating if it's going to hit anything with a awful
defense stat(*cough*Alakazam*cough*), but it needs to time to charge so you can
switch to a Rock Pokémon or something with withstand the blow. Kill it with
any kind of special attack, excluding Grass of course. Electric recommended. In
fact, hit Pidgeot with any strong attack so long as it isn't Ground or Grass and
you'll have it. If it uses Sky Attack first, back out immediately. Or take it
like a man, or monster, or... WHATEVER. Alakazam is next(Despite being Gary's
second-to-last bitch for the last million battles), and though it has no
altercations, it's still a tough-ass. Like ever, a strong physical attack with
help you win the day here. However, Recover and Reflect to totally negate
that... asshole. Moving on, Rhyhorn is up next. I won't start criticizing on the
fact that this MORON of a Pokémon is this high up in the game, just get rid of
it before I eat my sister. Damnit, too late. Following that up is... oh wait,
this is the complicated part. Look to the top of this strategy, and you'll see
your line-up. Basically, the remaining three Pokémon are decided on just what
crapweed picked at the beginning. Figure what you should be getting(It's NOT
that hard, Jebus), and read on. Exeggutor is the evolved Exeggcute, and it's
totally freakin' lame. Gary, I know you're a crapweed and all, but what the hell
is this? Exeggcute was awesome. This Exeggutor is the worst ever. For some
stupid reason, it only knows Barrage and Hypnosis all over again, and friggin'
Stomp. Man, Gary, go to hell. Hypnosis is more annoying than having your balls
tickled from behind, so get rid of Exeggucute before I eat my TV. Damnit, why
are you so slow? Gyarados seems to have come completely out of nowhere, not
that's it's a problem. Electric attacks work SO well here, as poor Gyarados is
Flying(?) and Water. Watch out for it's awesome Hyper Beam move. Arcanine is in
the same boat as Exeggutor, except Growlithe was never much good anyway. Ember
and Take Down, are your only real problems, but they never do cause enough
carnage. Venusaur can be beaten easily by a Psychic move(Dual type- Grass AND
Poison!), or typically a Fire attack. Don't let it use Sleep Powder or
Solarbeam. Charizard is pretty well equipped, upgrading Flamethrower to Fire
Blast for even more bastard damage. Slash is pretty badass, and Fire Spin is
annoying as hell. However, if it uses Rage, it pretty much put it's own dick in
it's mouth and you can really take advantage of that. Finallly, Blastoise is
very fearsome. Hydro Pump is there to filter out the weaklings, and Blizzard for
any Grass Pokémon who get a little too close to it. It's best to tackle it with
Thunder Pokémon. If you have a Grass Pokémon quick off the mark(Like
Victreebel), try your luck. Remember, all throughout Gary likes to use Full
Restores and simple Potions, bizzarely.

Finally, you've done it! You've completely out-played the crapweed Gary Oak. And
you'd think he be a man about it and shake your hand and say thank you? Nah.
Profesor Oak does that for you instead. Good job.

-The Gym Leaders
These dudes and dudettes scattered throught the Pokémon world are your ticket to
experience points, one-time-only TMs, and most importantly those badges(And if
you didn't know because you suck, these will gain you entry to the Elite Four).
Gym Leaders can only be fought once, and once only. These guys are 'bosses' in
the technical terms, but they always lose in the end because they only use one
main type. I ain't complainin'.

Your first historic Gym Leader battle will be against... Brock(Totally useless
fact #4: In the Pokémon instruction booklet, the screenshot for Brock says 'The
BROCK wants to battle!'). Yeah, the guy with no eyeballs in the Pokémon TV
series. He's located in Pewter City gym, and you need to squash him before you
can move on to Route 3. Shall we?..

Trainer: Brock
Pokémon: Geodude(Lv11), Onix(Lv13)
Prize: Boulder badge(Increases attack stats, allows you to use HM05 Flash), TM34
Ah, the first gym battle. It's like your first steps- the first one is always so
hard for you but everybody around you doing it makes you look like a retard.
Brock dishes out a Geodude first. If you picked Bulbasaur or Squirtle... train
them until they learn Vine Whip or Bubble respectively. This way... they will
WHIP SOME SORRY ASS!! The same for Onix. If you picked Charmander however...
here it needs to be at least Lv11. And you'll need yourself a Pidgey with Sand
Attack, and a sacrifical Pokémon(Caterpie or something). Kill Geodude with
repeated Ember attacks(If you burn the rock, the Brock will use Full Heal so he
misses a turn). When Onix is sent out switch it for the sacrifical Pokémon. No,
we're don't performing any gay-ass KKK sacrifices, we're just going to give
Charmander a nice, refreshing Potion. Once the sacrificial Pokémon has been
murdered by Onix, send out Pidgey. Use Sand Attack. Nothing else. Even when it
uses Bide. In fact, all the better when it uses Bide, because that attack deals
double the damage you scored on Onix(2x0=NO DAMAGE). Four or five Sand Attacks
should reduce poor, stupid-looking Onix's accuracy to a laughable manner.
Finally, send out Charmander for the kill with repeated Ember barrages. Hell, at
this point you won't even NEED to worry about Bide because Onix's accuracy is so
lame. Bitchin'.

Misty is the girl in the TV series alongside Ash who never, EVER admits that she
likes him(Totally useless fact #5: Richard used to have a friend who found Misty
attractive...). In the video game, she's the second Gym Leader located in
Cerulean City with a lovely pair(Of Pokémon, that is). I hope you have a Pikachu
on your side...

Trainer: Misty
Pokémon: Staryu(Lv18), Starmie(Lv21)
Prize: Cascade badge(Pokémon up to Lv30 will obey, lets you use HM01 Cut), TM11
I'll quickly note here that if you have Ivysaur with Vine Whip at Lv19(At the
very least), just skip the rest of this- you know what to do. Otherwise, read
up. Both of these Pokémon are pretty hard if you don't have attacks with a type
advantage(Note that Starmie is dual Water and Psychic types... just sayin').
Starmie has Bubblebeam which is fairly strong, which can decrease your speed on
occasion. But none of this should really be a problem unless you have a type
advantage. Nugget Bridge gave you PLENTY of opportunity to grab yourself a Grass
Pokémon and train it up for this battle, so you have no excuses. Of course, if
you have a Pikachu, as with Ivysaur this will be a breeze for you. I have no
strategy or sympathy for any douche who doesn't have a Pokémon with a type
advantage at this point.

Once upon a time in some mysterious war, this Lieutenant Surge guy used Pokémon
to shock his foes into paralysis. Now, he's in your game cart attempting to look
ferocious. He's in the Vermilion City gym, only avaliable to those who got HM01
Cut from the S.S Anne.

Trainer: Lieutenant Surge
Pokémon: Pikachu(Lv18), Voltorb(Lv21), Raichu(Lv24)
Prize: Thunder badge(Increases speed stats, lets you use HM02 Fly), TM24
Before I begin, what the hell happened to the Raichu-only battle from the TV
series? That was freakin' awesome. Oh yeah, that's on Pokémon Yellow. Lame. The
liutenant starts off with a Pikachu, and it's lost it's Thundershock attack. And
this is a Gym Leader. It does have Quick Attack to strike(Surpise, surprise)
quickly, Swift to not miss any Pokémon(Not even those using Dig/Fly), and Growl
to piss you off and make you wonder why this guy is a Gym Leader. Take as much
time as you like with Pika, because it's not going to KO your Pokémon. Ever. If
you taught TM28 Dig to Geodude or something, it's VERY handy here. Voltorb next,
and while no Lightning type attacks should make you want to laugh until you
fall off your chair and break your arm and end up with an infection and die of
AIDs is tempting, you won't be laughing after you get hit with Sonicboom. This
attack deals 20HP damage. No more, no less, regardless of type or defence.
Geodude is in trouble here... unless you use Dig again, and you'll have no
problems. You'll have even less trouble with Raichu- it's three attacks are
Thundershock, Thunder Wave, and Growl. While this is a step up from Pika, all
Ground Pokémon won't be affected by any of these attacks. You'll get no damage
at all if you leave Geodude, Diglett, or Sandshrew out there. Lieutenant. Surge-
despite how many Thundershocks and war stories he may dish out- will never beat
a Ground Pokémon in a million years with his stupid Raichu. In the Yellow
version, he rectifies the problem, but this isn't Pokémon Yellow. Providing that
Ground Pokémon is still there, ANY attack that deals a suitable amount of damage
will overcome the black rat here(Why the hell does Raichu look like a black rat
in these games?). Get your Thunder badge, and get the hell outta there!

Ah, Erika. She's the plant loving, LSD taking, freak hippy of Pokémon. She also
adores Grass Pokémon, and happens to surround herself by other girls. She's in
the Celadon City gym. Not much else to say, so let's go. Ladies first...

Trainer: Erika
Pokémon: Victreebel(Lv29), Tangela(Lv24), Vileplume(Lv29)
Prize: Rainbow badge(Pokémon up to Lv50 will obey, lets you use HM04 Strength),
TM21 Mega Drain
Before I start, I must say I found Ash's quest to get into the Celadon City gym
in the original Pokémon TV series was freakin' hilarious. On with the show, and
when you see Erika's squad they look pretty mean, but they're so, SO weak to
Fire and Bird types. Vic and Vile are dual Grass and Poison, so a Psychic
Pokémon such as Kadabra is useful here. There's so much type advantages
available, making so little to fear. Add that to the lack of Grass attacks(I
thought this was a GRASS POKÉMON gym) where only the Vileplume knows TM21 Mega
Drain, this will be an easy fight. Just don't get yourself put to sleep or
paralyzed(Bench out if you do), and you'll be A-OK.

You always have one weird-ass person who believes in twins reading minds,
witch-like powers, etc. In Pokémon, it's the Saffron City Gym Leader Sabrina. I
can make as much fun of her as I like, she's pretty damn good. Of course, you
have to rid Saffron City of the menace of Silph Co. to do anything at all in
this stupid town. Bring some Revives with you... because I said so(Totally
useless fact #6: Richard often bypasses this gym and goes to Koga's gym in
Fuchsia City to get more experience).

Trainer: Sabrina
Pokémon: Kababra(Lv38), Mr. Mime(Lv37), Venomoth(Lv38), Alakazam(Lv43)
Prize: Marsh badge(Pokémon up to Lv70 will obey), TM46 Psywave
OK, to begin with I never found Sabrina a tough cookie, but seeing as only Bug
Pokémon can really dominate Sabrina's squad(And how many of those do you have?)
I don't see how I did it. The key to fighting and beating ALL Psychic monsters
is to physically dominate them. Normal attacks, Ground attacks, Bird attacks...
hit them with all you have. Slash works particularly well. Of course, using a
Fighting Pokémon is suicide- they are weak to Psychic Pokémon, stupid(And if you
ask me, their attacks kinda suck anyway. Nobody did ask me, but they should've).
Works for Kadabra, Mr. Mime, and the watered-down Alakazam(It's using PSYWAVE,
for the love of God). Venomoth is something else(Dual type, Bug and Poison. This
is a PSYCHIC gym!), weilding only one Psychic attack(Namely Psybeam. Hell, even
Porygon has that) Stun Spore and Sleep Powder to mess with your Pokémon's
health, and Leech Life to... well, bug you. Yes, my jokes kick ass. Luckily,
it's stats suck and is subject to just about any attack. Done, done, and done.

Koga is technically Gym Leader #6, but many just go past Sabrina and straight to
him, because he is considerably easier, and Silph Co. is too big to do just
then. He's in Fuchsia City gym, and throws in an assy-arsenal of Poison and Bug
Pokémon(Totally useless fact #7: Koga gets promoted to the Elite Four in Gold,
Silver, and Crystal versions. He's just as bad there).

Trainer: Koga
Pokémon: Koffing(Lv37), Muk(Lv39), Koffing(Lv37), Weezing(Lv43)
Prize: Soul badge(Increases defense stats, lets you use HM03 Surf), TM46 Toxic
My god, this is a sorry-looking crew for a Gym Leader. They probably will poison
one or two of your squad, but they only will if they hang around long enough. Be
wary of Weezing's Toxic- it poisons the Pokémon, and the poison damage increases
each turn. And Sludge can easily poison your Pokémon, and it's pretty bitchin'.
But, Weezing shouldn't be around long enough to do any lethal damage. Your team
of killers should be anything but a match to Koga's team- they really do suck.
Get your inappropriately named Soul badge, and move on away from this crappy

The fiery soul of Blaine is the next Gym Leader. In Cinnabar Island gym, this
guy is pretty good, even against those with a type advantage. I think the plan
in the gym with those stupid question were to dumbfound anyone who tries to
answer them(One of the questions was 'Is TMXX TOMBSTONE?'), and lower the
trainer's IQ. With a reduced intelect level, they would go on to be beaten by
Blaine and his hot team. Devious plan, Game Freak.

Trainer: Blaine
Pokémon: Growlithe(Lv42), Ponyta(Lv40), Rapidash(Lv42), Arcanine(Lv47)
Prize: Volcano badge(Increases speical stats)
After those great Silph Co. battles, Gary battles and squashed Gym Leaders that
are behind you, you'd think that Blaine is a walkover. But he's actually good,
but hopefully your squad are good enough to withstand anything he can deliver.
First off, leave out any Grass or Bug Pokémon. Bring your Water and Ground
types- your fossil Pokémon you got from Mt. Moon(Kabuto or Omanyte) and a
Graveller/Golem would work really well here. Growlithe is truly a ghastly
Pokémon with the only Fire type attack it has acquired all along is Ember. Good
job, Blaine. It is only just saved by it's Take Down move. Watch out for that.
Ponyta's and Rapidash's Stomp and Fire Spin attacks are annoying, and Arcanine
is the one to beat as it is speedy, and can hit you with FIRE BLAST, the most
powerful special attack(Just below are Solarbeam, Hydro Pump, and Psychic). But,
providing you have the types I mentioned above, this battle shouldn't be hard at
all. Pick up your TM38 Fire Blast, and Fly or Surf back to Viridian City to

The final Gym Leader. Boy, we have come far ain't we? We've beaten mind freaks,
hot heads, hippies and now we're meeting... Giovanni. It's supposed to be a
surprise in the storyline sense(A really crappy one). He's in that gym in
Viridian City that's been locked all this time(Good timing, eh Giovanni). And AT
LAST!!!, a Gym Leader is showing some real variation. Shame they're all Ground
types. Whatever.

Trainer: Giovanni
Pokémon: Rhyhorn(Lv45), Dug
Prize: Earth badge(All Pokémon will obey you), TM27 Fissure
I have to commend Giovanni here, the only Gym Leader showing some real variation
of types here. Unfortunately for him, they are all dual something and GROUND, so
it's going to be a dead easy fight. Use Grass, Ice, Water attacks for great
effects here, and Psychic attacks on the Nido siblings will kill them
oh-so-easily as they are dual Ground and Poison. There's nothing really to be
afraid of at all here, as despite having some variation, the team still stink.
After killing Giovanni's squad, he'll hand over TM27 Fissure(A One-hit-KO move-
VERY unreliable, and not recommended for any Pokémon), and he'll disappear.
Maybe you'll be accused of manslaughter.

Well spank my ass and call me grandma, that's the last Gym Leader. Fairly easy,
no? Well, it's time for the real test of your abilities. Go forth to the Pokémon
League to tackle the best of the best.

-The Elite Four
I congratulate you on making it to the Pokémon League, but seriously- the Elite
Four are an awesome team. Of course, it's nothing to your Lv100s, but when we're
young, impressionable trainers with badass Lv45s, this is the ultimate test. I
advise all of your Pokémon to be at least Lv45 going in, and your starting
Pokémon has it's most powerful attack for this stage(Venusaur's Razor Leaf,
Charizard's Flamethrower, and Blastoise's Hydro Pump or HM03 Surf). It doesn't
hurt to have an Articuno on your side, either. Bring some Revives and Full
Restores too- you'll need them(Totally useless fact #8: Richard was eating apple
pie at the time of writing this paticular sentence). Or you can not have
anything I mentioned, and get creamed. But hey, I don't care. Onwards and...

Lorelei- if I recall- is actually Prima in the Pokémon TV series. She tosses a
Pokéball as if she's high. Maybe she is. I don't care. She mainly has Ice types,
but like all good trainers they're all dual types. Shame she's not a good

Trainer: Lorelei
Pokémon: Dewgong(Lv54), Cloyster(Lv53), Slowbro(Lv54), Jynx(Lv56), Lapras(Lv56)
Prize: Entry to the next stage
Stupid strategy guides. Every one of them I've read says that you should use
Fire Pokémon against Lorelei's squad as they're Ice types. WRONG: You should be
using Grass or Electric. Stupid strategy guide makers: But almighty Richard,
Grass Pokémon are disadvantaged by Ice types! Richard: Kiss my ass. The Ice
attacks these Pokémon use are really bad(Aurora Beam for Dewgong and Cloyster,
Ice Punch for Jynx, NOTHING for Slowbro, Blizzard for Lapras- OK, that's not
bad). Grass and Electric attacks will destroy them all. Dewgong has Rest to undo
your work. Cloyster has Spike Cannon to piss you off. Slowbro has... Water Gun.
Jynx has Lovely Kiss to put you to sleep(She likes to do this to Psychic
Pokémon), and Lapras has a frightening special stat with Hydro Pump to really
bring the fight. Lapras is obviously the most dangerous, it even has Body Slam
to pick on the defensively poor Electric types. Grass Pokémon will not go two
rounds with Blizzard. Even Articuno will go down with Blizzard as it's dual Ice
and Flying(For some reason, the weakness negates the fact it's part Ice too).
And to top it off, Lorelei will use Super Potion at the most inappropriate
moments to shorten your odds. If you brought that fossil Pokémon with you, use
it against Lapras- it will absorb Hydro Pump and Blizzard(Kabuto better than
Omanyte). If not... use that Grass or Electric Pokémon. If they keep getting
murdered, use Revive after Revive. Moving on.

Your resident beefy bonehead, Bruno. Despite there being no OFFICIAL Fighting
type gym because Fighting Pokémon suck ass, he still goes ahead with his lame
squad. Yawn.

Trainer: Bruno
Pokémon: Onix(Lv53), Hitmonchan(Lv55), Hitmonlee(Lv55), Onix(Lv56),
Prize: Entry to the next stage
Yawn. Onix is first, get rid of it with Grass or Water. Watch out for Rock
Throw. Hitmonchan is next, beware of it's range of punches(Thunderpunch, Fire
Punch, and Ice Punch. They can all hurt Articuno). Fortunately for you,
Hitmonchan's grim special stat doesn't help these, so get rid of it with a
Psychic or Flying attack(Fly or Psybeam are good bets). Likewise for Hitmonlee,
except there's no threat from him AT ALL. Yawn. Onix- didn't we kill one of
these? Yawn. Machamp has Submission and Fissure on it's side, but they're both
crap so don't worry. All throught Bruno is trying to beef up his Pokémon's
stats, stuffing them with drugs known as X Defense, X Attack, etc.
Yawn(Totally useless fact #9: People yawn when they think about it, it's a
natural reaction. You're doing it right now). We're done already, where was the

Your resident creepy old lady in the nasty old 1780s house, Agatha. She surronds
herself with Tombstones and a cane to hold herself up. She used to date
Professor Oak WHEN HE WAS YOUNG! What the hell?! Regardless of those
pro-Undertaker facts about Agatha, she's pretty mean. She likes Ghost and Poison

Trainer: Agatha
Pokémon: Gengar(Lv56), Golbat(Lv56), Haunter(Lv55), Arbok(Lv58), Gengar(Lv60)
Prize: Entry to the next stage
Stupid strategy guides. Every one of them I've read says that there's no
advantage over the Ghost Pokémon. WRONG: There are no pure Ghost Pokémon in
these versions; they are all dual type Ghost and Poison. Use Psychic Pokémon as
they have the advantage over Poison. Stupid strategy guide makers: But almighty
Richard, Ghost attacks will cream Psychic Pokémon! Richard: Kiss my ass. All the
Ghost attacks have some kind of property that stops it being a Ghost attack.
Night Shade deals damage almost equal to your Pokémon's level(AAARGH!!),
regardless of type or defense stat. Confuse Ray confuses your Pokémon. Lick is a
Ghost attack that can paralyze the recipient, but the damage it does is so, SO
poor. See? No real/good Ghost attacks that can pursue the weakness, so have a
tall glass of SHUT THE HELL UP. Like I said here, use Psybeam or Psychic to
storm through this battle. Alternatively, use a Ground Pokémon- Earthquake or
even good ol' Dig do the job here. A few things to remember- Golbat is dual
Poison and Flying- you can't hit the damn thing with a Ground attack. Try
Electric or Ice. Golbat- like the Gengars and Haunter- has Confuse Ray, and Wing
Attack to cause some damage. Arbok uses Glare to paralyze your Pokémon on the
first or second turns, so if you strike it lucky and it leaves you the first
turn, really kick it's ass. The Lv60 Gengar features Toxic, so don't let it use
it, you MORON. And finally, Agatha loves to bench in and bench out a lot, so be

The end is here(Well, the end of the Elite Four at least). Lance- unlike the
first two members of the Elite Four- is a formidible opponent with some awesome
beasts... elusive Dragon types. These dudes are dead tough, but NOT infallible.
They all have their one major, MAJOR weakness which I hope you'll exploit...

Trainer: Agatha
Pokémon: Gyarados(Lv58), Dragonair(Lv56), Dragonair(Lv56), Aerodactyl(Lv60),
Prize: Entry to the final stage
All credit to Lance(Who is a fictional character programmed into a video game),
he's amassed a frightening team here. Gyarados begins the tough battle, and like
ALL of his counterparts he likes to use the very effective Hyper Beam. That's
big trouble for guys like Alakazam and Raichu with awful defense statistics.
Hydro Pump is also there for anyone thinking they can sneak past with a Fire or
Ground monster, and Dragon Rage to... cause 40HP fixed damage. Gyarados' main
weakness here is his dual types. He's Water and Flying(?), and that means
Electric techniques are now twice as nice. Good job, Lance... idiot. Dragonair
is next... two of them. You can attack them head on with any physical attack
like Slash and Earthquake, and then get creamed by Hyper Beam, or you can read
up. You see that Grass Pokémon? Venusaur, Victreebel, or whatever the hell you
possess. Put it against Dragonair. It will not attack any Pokémon with the types
Grass and Poison(BOTH of them as a dual type obviously, stupid). It will just
use Agility all day. Even when it has no more effect. Handy, eh? Just pile in
with Normal attacks- Acid, Cut, hell even Tackle. Dragonair isn't going to do
anything else. Freaky, yes, but dependable when you're strapped for HP(Not the
sauce, because it sucks). Don't question me- Venusaur did it for me on my Red
version. Aerodactyl is dual Rock and Flying, and when it's not using Supersonic
or Hyper Beam it's suspect to Water attacks. Surf recommended. Dragonite is the
last one, and make him your bitch with the Grass Pokémon. Alternatively to all
of this garbage, use Articuno to demolish EVERYTHING. That's the weakness of the
day for some stupid reason, Dragon types are weak to Ice attacks. Even Gyarados
and Aerodactyl are weak to freezing attacks(They're part Flying-type. Why is
Gyarados part Flying? WHY?!). Done, done, and done.

That's it for the Elite Four, you've handed their asses over to them one by one.
No doubt you've had a great time whipping some serious ass, especially bastard
Bruno. But the Pokémon League challenge is not over, oh no. Go back to the 'Your
Rival' section, and skip to 'Encounter #8' for the final, final, FINAL battle...

-Catching Mewtwo
OK, I know this is a FAQ for the so-called bosses of the game, but Mewtwo is a
Pokémon which amazingly causes inordinate amounts of GameBoy-smashing
frustration for anyone stupid enough to not have their Master Ball. Honestly, as
a self-proclaimed classic Pokémon pro, I don't see the struggle of capturing
Mewtwo. Yes, he's the highest level wild Pokémon in the game(Through normal
play). Yes, he's the highest level Pokémon in the game PERIOD(Through normal
play, which should actually go without saying as it is possible to see anything
up to Lv255). But no, damnit no, he's not HARD. Having unusual stats does not
constitute a strong Pokémon(Which is why having a team of Lv100s is never just
enough), it's the moves that count. Mewtwo's moves are nothing special, not
counting Recover.

But of course, we're not trying to kill him forever, we're trying to capture
his genetically engineered ass(Not following me? Watch Pokémon: the first movie,
the only good movie of the bunch). Again, it's no tough feat as long as you take
advise from the King of my World(Me)...

Find Mewtwo in the Unknown Dungeon, save your game, and follow the instructions

   Stupid strategy guides. Everyone of them I've read says that sleep is the
   perfect status affiliction. WRONG: Freezing the Pokémon is. Stupid strategy
   guide makers: But almighty Richard, sleep stops the Pokémon from attacking!
   Richard: Kiss my ass. Sleep stops the Pokémon from attacking for anything
   between one and six turns. Freeze stops the Pokémon from attacking, and
   that's it. No stupid one to six turns bullcrap. If you're unfortunate
   enough to have a Fire attack remaining in your repertoire, then you're in
   in trouble as Fire attacks undoes freezing. But otherwise, if you freeze a
   Pokémon, you've just locked it's ass in an rusty bear trap and baby, it's
   crawling with tetanus. Mewtwo is no exception. It can take a while, you may
   have to revert to your saved game many-a-time(It took me only once to do
   this), but if you were stupid enough to waste your Master Ball on a Ratatta
   or something, you probably deserve it.
   We're going back to the basics. Once Mewtwo is encased in ice, chip away at
   his HP. The best bit about freeze is there's no one to six turns crap, so you
   have all the time you need. Don't use big moves on him because you might
   knock him out, and if you really had trouble freezing Mewtwo, I recommend
   against using heavy power moves. Use your Surfs, Swifts, hell- bring out your
   Tackles and Quick Attacks. Remember, you have as many turns as you need, so
   by all means take your time and don't rush yourself with hefty damage
   techniques. I love freeze.
   No, not one of Professor Oak's special testicles(Remember those?), an Ultra
   Ball. I have not seen Mewtwo captured with a Pokéball or a Great Ball. If
   you're feeling up to waste some time(And money, now that I mention it), I
   dare you to try and capture Mewtwo with a Poké/Great Ball. If you pull it
   off, send me proof of your outstanding achievement in any way via the
   'Contact info', and I'll give you £100 of my own money, guaranteed. No
   strings attached, suckas. It will never, EVER happen, but even kings make
   mistakes, so if you can proof to me that Mewtwo can be tamed with a lesser
   instrument, you get my ultimate prize. Of course, it will be in a post-dated
   cheque, cashable only in the year 3005.

That's it, that's all, time for bed children. Mewtwo can be reduced with an
Ultra Ball, saving that Master Ball for bragging purposes. Or, if you were
enough of a dolt to lose it, you have been blessed with a second chance.

Who helped in the production of this?

For posting my FAQ, duh.

The late Daily Radar for making the best Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow guide
I've ever purchased. I got it well after I became a master of the game, by the

-Contact info
Compliments and questions about my work are always welcomed. So, here are some
contact details for y'all...

This isn't as much of a contact option as a plug. But you can contact me from my
cool website, so...

Check out the Richard Walker Community today! Register today(You don't even need
an activation email) and you can speak with me- and maybe even engage in
coversation with the other members.

I log in to check my email every couple of days, so you're likely to get a
response in about forty-eight hours. Don't email me about crap, OK?

I have several IM's you can talk to me on, so here's a list of IM's. They're
listed in the order of which you're more more likely to find me on. And please
speak to me in ENGLISH, n0t tH@ sto0pid cH@t spk, LOLLLZZZ!!!!111!!1
MSN- ukrichardwalker@hotmail.com
AIM- ukrichardwalker

-The final word
Cheers for reading my Pokémon Red and Blue FAQ. As you are aware, these are
simply awesome games with some awesome battles, most of which I have covered for
your convenience. Also, this work would be pretty pointless if nobody read it,
so thank you.

And you should check out my other FAQs, reviews, and other crap I've submitted.
No, there's nothing good on anybody else's contributor page. Go Richard!

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