So, I have been with, well was now..., the love of my life. And just 6 months ago I proposed to her at a very fancy restaurant. She was stunned seeing as how we were then only together for 6 months. And to be quite honest, I was petrified that by me doing this so early, she might freak out and leave me. But, I manned up and decided to go through with it.
To my surprise, she said yes. Boy, lemme tell you, that night was one of the greatest, most passionate nights of my short life. So, we set our wedding date to be our 1 year anniversary. Which happens to be today. I let her pick everything out that she wanted. My only condition was that my dog be the ring-bearer. After a bit of a "discussion" I managed to get her to agree.
Fast forward to today. We were having a very private ceremony in her enormous backyard, right next to her beautiful, fully decked-out pool. After getting myself ready and everything at my house, I decided to play some Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 to pass the time. "Just one game", I said. Mid-way through a friend from my FL pops up. "Well, I'll just back out and invite him to just one more game". I backed out and invited him. We ended up playing for 3 hours straight together.
Only problem was.... My wedding ceremony started 2 hours ago. I looked at my phone to see 50 missed calls and 100 missed text messages. "Oh bananas", I said to myself. I dropped the controller, leaving my system and game on, grabbed my keys and raced over to her house.
My beautiful fiancee was covered in tears and her own mascara. I arrived just in time to see her throw the bouquet on the floor and throw herself in the pool. All the guests in attendance stared me down with a passionate anger. After a few seconds, I realized my fiancee had not re-emerged from the water. Panicking, I raced over to the pool, full tuxedo and grabbed her. She flailed around in resistance but I was able to overpower her and throw her out of the water.
After emerging from the pool, myself, I was cascaded upon by various insults and derogatory terms. I tried my best to explain what had happened but to no avail. My fiance could just not forgive me for what had happened. She slapped me in the face, called me a d-bag and stormed off, yelling over her shoulder that we were through.
I now sit here, alone, eating chocolate muffins and drinking milk, writing this. I am contemplating burning the game and the disk for ruining my wedding and my relationship. A curse upon Modern Warfare 2, Activision and Infinity Ward for developing such an entertaining game!
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