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RaggedDruid357 13 years ago#1
It was about a month into the latest push- I think our frontline had moved about three, maybe four feet forward. Day after day we spent staring into the fog, waiting for another wave of the necrons. We all knew the line was buckling, and there was still no news of reinforcements. Then, a week after their last attack exactly, we heard the necrons preparing. Monoliths were barely visible through the fog, probing the imperial lines for weak points. So there we are, crapping ourselves, watching for glimpses of those ****ing robots, when help finally arrives!

I know what you’re thinking- when you’re told you aren’t getting reinforcements in this army, there’s no way in hell you’re getting any help. And still, there they were! Four or five squads of space marines, complete with a whirlwind tank and a dreadnought! We were so surprised to see them that corporal Sutton actually shot himself, thinking the robot scum finally had us surrounded.

Anyway, we approach the marines with the Major, and those guys were a sight- they weren’t wearing any kind of uniform colours- it looked like they’d just painted themselves whatever they liked. I **** you not when I say I saw one wearing bright purple with pink polka dots. They pulled up just behind our trenches, and their leader waved to us. I’ll never forget that helmet- first time I ever saw a silver Tau helmet on a space marine. That guy gave off an aura of easy style, I’m telling you. The men visibly relaxed when he got close.
“Alright gang, D Marines, here to help!” the figure bellowed when it reached us, giving the Major a heavy pat on the shoulder. A “<3” symbol flashed across the viewing slit. “You guys relax, we’ve got this sorted!” we gaped in awe as “STAY COOL” flashed across his visor.

So they mobilised right away, jumped our trench and fanned out all professional style in front of the lines. The dreadnaught lumbered up behind them, and the whirlwind parked behind us. By now the necrons were visible, slowly stalking towards us, rank upon rank of skeletal figures. The Major nudged me in the ribs and grinned.
“See now? They’re locking targets with their missile launchers!” He shouted, pointing towards the whirlwind. I looked, and saw that the missile launchers were indeed prepping themselves. Except they didn’t look like missile launchers. They looked like amps. “And now they’re tossing out grenades! This is the might of the imperium, my boy!” The Major went on.

Then the grenades went off, in a blinding flash of white light. I squinted out ahead of us, and saw that each marine had struck a pose. I gotta say, they looked ****ing great. Behind us, the whirlwind amps began thumping out a beat, and the dreadnought’s floodlights blazed on and off, creating a dazzling strobe effect. I found the marine commander in the line. He had his power fist in the air. The amps behind me muttered
“Time has come to…”, and one finger went up. The beat went on.
“Time has come to…”
Two fingers.
“World… The time has come to…”
Three fingers.
“GALVANISE” And **** me, they put on one hell of a show. They had the whole damn regiment dancing, right up until the part where the necrons burst over the parapet and tore everyone apart. Me and a few of the lads got away, and looking back at the struggling mass as we fled I saw a banner waving defiantly from the heart of the necron horde, proclaiming “HARDER, BETTER, FASTER, STRONGER” into the night, and a voice shouting "One more time!"

I'm telling you, it was the Disco marines. Always dancing, all the time.
lerudad 13 years ago#2
urm wtf?
An open mind is like a fortress, with its gates unbarred and unguarded...
Mast3rOfPupp3ts 13 years ago#3
"Life is a bad margarita made with good tequila." - Modern Drunkard Magazine
MrCheeseBurgers 13 years ago#4
10: Provisional (1)
RaggedDruid357 13 years ago#5
10: Provisional (1)

This is my 4th account. Piss off unless you know what you're talking about.

Also, some 40k related lulz from 7chan IRC.

<RaggedDruid> Necrobilly: you're a ***, get the **** out
<Necrobilly> NO U
* RaggedDruid pulls out a bolter
<Necrobilly> OH ****
* Necrobilly gets the **** out
schtargenfarg 13 years ago#6
This is made of win.
"Louis would be at the safe house super early, cause he STOLE MA BIKE."
CraigTNelson 13 years ago#7
-claps slowly-
damaddok 13 years ago#8
Disco Marines! Alway dancing! All the time!
But still not as good as Angry Marines.
In the immortal words of Kefka, "Don't make me hate at you"
vonkronz 13 years ago#9

*Wipes a tear from his eye*

That was simply beautiful...I applaud you sir and your new chapter of space marines, may they dance their way into the book of honor and into the Emperors golden halls, bravo sir, bravo.

damaddok 13 years ago#10
I counter with the Lazy Marines!
+++++ From the personal memoirs of Sgt Albert Golfend, 4th Chanian Regiment. +++++

It was many years ago, and I was but a young soldier in the Imperial Guard on a backwater Farm World. Despite how far out of the way of most trade paths this world was, it was of great importance to the Imperium as it had the exact climate to grow many crops that are not easily grown on most other Farm Worlds. Perhaps it was for this reason we were the victim of a massive WAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!. For weeks after requesting support, we held our own against the endless waves of Orkish destruction. After three months, we were nearly completely overrun, barely holding back the endlessly superior numbers of the Orks. Much of this season's crops had been devoured by the Orks, and I was helping to hold an outpost. As things seemed at their worst, the entire battlefield, even those green bastards, took pause as the air was filled with a hum I had never heard, but after that day, would never forget.

Over the Horizon rode Space Marines, their armor gleaming in the sun, riding what I could only describe as hovering sofas and armchairs. As they approached, they opened fire, their bolters and heavy weaponry ripping through the Ork waves, and taking more tactical positions to flank the Orks and support our position. Within moments, the mass of the Ork attack had been annihilated. As I looked out on the ravage battlefield, I saw one Marine, sitting on his hovering armchair. Suddenly behind him, a group of a dozen orks charged at him. I started to yell out a warning, but he had already seen them. He slowly reached up to his helmet, where two glass bottles were stationed, and pulled one off. He then reached into the cushions of the chair, and drew a small packet from it, marked "Waaaaghhhhhh! Rocks". He opened the packet, slipped it over the open bottle, shook it, and threw it at the oncoming Orks. Moments later, it exploded, the force blasting the bastards to pieces. With the day won, and the Orks routed, they left,as slowly and lazily as they came. I asked my commander who they were, and he simply looked on at them as they left, and spoke.

"Those son, were the Lazy Marines."

+++++ Thought for the Day: His Will be done, Eventually. +++++
In the immortal words of Kefka, "Don't make me hate at you"
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