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Nominated by Place
“The cake is a lie.”
Doug Rattman is a man thrown into unenviable circumstances. Always suspicious of GLaDOS, he is the sole survivor of her poisoning the Aperture staff. He hides into secluded areas across the facility, leaving artwork and cryptic messages for Chell to find. He also secretly works from behind the scenes to aid Chell in her own quest to escape the facility.
Not much is known about Rattman in the games. There is a supplemental comic that goes into some additional detail, such as that he relies on medication to maintain his sanity.
It’s hard to rank somebody like Rattman, somebody whose main contributions to the plot happen off-screen. His ultimate fate isn’t even revealed in Portal 2. He’s a bit of a mystery, and while that mystery makes him somewhat interesting, I’d feel funny ranking him over characters who are more active participants in the plot.
Video Game Music Contest 14 winner: Terraria Calamity - Scourge of the Universe
45. The Defect (Slay the Spire)
Nominated by GameBopAdv
I didn’t understand a word of that Wiki but I read “an automaton that has become self-aware” and I instantly liked this character. That’s a trope I really enjoy, and that’s enough to propel him above the fodder.
Also he has a card called Go for the Eyes, that’s kind of cool.
44. Funky Kong (Donkey Kong)
Nominated by kateee
“Lookin' good, Kongs! Buckle up and blast off, you're outta here!”
Funky Kong is the hippest, hottest Kong on DK Island. Throughout the series he’s operated a way for the Kongs to go back to previous worlds on the map (which is a curious feature of gameplay when you think about it), a weapons shop, and an item store. He does it all with style. He doesn’t like adverturing apparently, preferring to let the other Kongs shine; he’s happy playing a support role.
Any discussion of the “Kong family” simply must touch on Kong genealogy. Is Funky related to DK? They look virtually identical save for clothing. Would that make Funky Cranky’s son/grandson? If not, is Funky related to Diddy, like a cool uncle or something? What if he’s Candy’s brother? Or what if – hear me out – he’s just some schmuck who freeloads, crashing at DK’s treehouse and eating bananas he doesn’t pay for? Kind of like that friend we all have who’s “between jobs” and “just needs a place to stay for a few days.” Yeah. That’s my Funky Kong headcanon.
But seriously, you had to literally pay in-game currency to return to prior worlds in those games. What the heck?
43. Bowser (Mario)
Nominated by MetalmindStats
“I'm lightning in a bottle! I'm an earthquake in a can!”
Bowser is a weird character. Some Mario games, like Super Mario RPG, give him all this personality – he’s gruff and blustery and I half expect him to mug for the camera in a wrestling arena. But some games, notably the main platformers, present him as this boring, stereotypical villain. Like, in Super Mario Odyssey he wants to kidnap Peach and marry her, but there are no jokes about this; he just kidnaps her and takes the world’s slowest airship ride to the chapel. If it were a Mario and Luigi game, we’d get neat insights into Bowser’s psyche and why exactly he’s so fixated on this human woman. Because of the inconsistency, I can’t rank him higher than this.
Although I do have to say, Bowser is hilarious in the Mario Party games. He’s such a troll, it’s almost delightful to go to a Bowser Space. So props for that.
I’ve always found it interesting how Bowser’s design has evolved from his weird-looking sprite in Super Mario Bros. to what it’s basically been for decades. It’s a natural evolution, but I wouldn’t have gotten his current look out of his old sprite.
42. Goro Majima (Yakuza)
Nominated by NFUN
NFUN linked me this video for additional information:
(he also linked me this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD6__C2Ht6M
but that seems less relevant)
That first video was really great. I feel like I learned a lot about Majima through it, like his ability to problem-solve through nonviolence. Pretty compelling.
Then I did a little more digging and I realized that’s probably not an accurate depiction of this character at all.
Goro Majima is a member of the yakuza. He is known for his vicious fighting style (you know, like that video shows >_>), his temper (again!) and his somewhat skewed code of honor. He believes only he can kill the series protagonist, Kazuma Kiryu. He’s been both a final boss and a playable character, which is an interesting distinction.
I guess he’s interesting. But after watching an admittedly great video that didn’t seem too relevant, I wasn’t about to read pages upon pages of plot summary. He can go here because he’s probably funkier than Funky Kong.
41. Utsuho Reiuji (Touhou Project)
Nominated by FL81
She’s a bird girl with a nuclear reactor on her arm. That’s kind of neat. Her theme song is cool. I like her design (and I also like the fanart that was posted). Good enough for me!
“With the left leg "the leg of decomposition" and the right leg "the leg of fusion", therefore by that which controls this, the right arm's "third leg" (control rod and fuel rod)[Ref. Needed], she is able to manipulate the ultimate energy, nuclear fusion” oh
42. Goro Majima (Yakuza)
Majima in Yakuza 0 (where that clip is from, his introductory scene) is a very different character than Majima in the rest of the series. His half of Y0 is largely about how he ended up being the way he is.
Also, 24-Hour Cinderella is always relevant.
Our eyes were removed
For our own safety
40. Slak (Defender's Quest)
Nominated by azuarc
Here we have a Berserker who is so dense and thick-headed and obsessed with appearing masculine at all times that he doesn’t wear battle armor. He doesn’t wear a shirt. At one point he doesn’t even wear pants! This is “goofy bro” (I call it goofbro) to the extreme. Slak acts as comedic relief in Defender’s Quest, often writing random nonsense in Azra’s journals. He names his abs. (Naturally, they are all goofbro things.)
Why the party puts up with him, I don’t know. He must be damn good in battle. Or maybe there’s literally nobody else.
39. Kazuma Kiryu (Yakuza)
Nominated by Place
“I’m no kind-hearted soul. I can take another name, and build a new life... But on the inside I'll always have that instinct, no matter how much I hate it. I'm yakuza through and through.”
Kiryu is a member of a Japanese crime family. Though he often chooses violence over diplomacy, he has a big heart, particularly for children. He abides by an honor code. This has gotten him into trouble before.
Kiryu has had a number of adventures throughout the Yakuza series, including being framed for murder, multiple stints in prison, and a heck of a lot of fights. He has emerged from it all as a man who knows what he wants out of the world, and who isn’t afraid to take it.
It’s interesting to read about the differences between Kiryu and Majima: they’re both brutal in their enforcement, but Majima has a worse temper and is more unpredictable, whereas Kiryu is much more rational. It’s no wonder they butt heads throughout the series.