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User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#331
Piggybacking off my last post, an interactive process thing for it: https://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-s***-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play/index.html
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and you are awesome

User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#332
Hardcore_Adult posted...
Anyhow, over to someone with *real* probs.


I have the same issue of considering my own problems as not real problems by comparing them to others, and that usually leads me to spiral further down.
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and you are awesome

User Info: Mr Lasastryke

Mr Lasastryke
1 month ago#333
GTM posted...
I have the same issue of considering my own problems as not real problems by comparing them to others,


i feel the same way to a certain extent. this is part of why i decided not to post that super long post yet.
Geothermal terpsichorean ejectamenta

User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#334
Just if you're having trouble, it's still a problem worth sharing and people will see it as an opportunity to help. Everyone deserves to get help and empathy.

I dont always follow that and wish I did. It's part if my black and white thinking. I'm either someone with the worst problems in the world, or otherwise I'm not worth helping. Not the best way of thinking :p
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and you are awesome

User Info: Hardcore_Adult

Hardcore_Adult
1 month ago#335
GTM posted...
Just if you're having trouble, it's still a problem worth sharing and people will see it as an opportunity to help. Everyone deserves to get help and empathy.

I dont always follow that and wish I did. It's part if my black and white thinking. I'm either someone with the worst problems in the world, or otherwise I'm not worth helping. Not the best way of thinking :p


I know but sometimes it feels like nobody gives a monkey's
I'll get back up for good this time and I ain't comin' down...

User Info: Waluigi1

Waluigi1
1 month ago#336
GTM posted...
Hardcore_Adult posted...
Anyhow, over to someone with *real* probs.


I have the same issue of considering my own problems as not real problems by comparing them to others, and that usually leads me to spiral further down.

Big Oof for me too.
PSN, and GT: Waluigi1
Switch FC: SW-6848-3841-9099

User Info: NBIceman

NBIceman
1 month ago#337
I don't post in this topic very often but, as y'all well know, sometimes you just gotta vent, right?

Earlier this year was the end of a long process of me falling out of contact with one of my best friends. It wasn't really anyone's fault, we tried pretty hard to keep up with each other, but she moved away a couple years ago to follow her dreams and it just turned her into a different person that I didn't have much in common with anymore. Honestly, I think she might've started to find me a little boring.

I say "best friend" but she was always close to being more. We just kinda never found the right time.

Anyway, she tried, but eventually she got so busy that it was hard for her to make any time for me, and it became a vicious cycle where the less contact we had, the less of a priority it became. And eventually it was too hard on me to wait on texts back that were never going to come and I started to feel like I was just bothering her by even trying. So I sent her a happy birthday message back in February, to which she responded that she'd call me that weekend. Never heard from her, no contact since then.

Most of the time I feel good about my decision. My life doesn't feel dramatically different without her from how it did at the end there except that I'm not semi-obsessively checking my phone anymore. In some ways it's been a weight off my shoulders.

But I hate thinking about it that way. I don't have many close friends and some of my happiest memories came from her. I hate that life seems to find away to make some people drift apart even when they do everything they can to not allow that to happen.

And tonight, for whatever random reason, I'm really missing her. It's the first time I've felt like that. I thought I'd made a pretty clean break but here I am sitting at my desk at 1:00 in the morning wanting to do nothing more than call her. If I was confident that I could ever just have the kind of relationship with her where we check in once every two or three months to see what's going on, I'd just dial the number and not think twice about it. But I don't know if I really believe that's possible.

This has been BlogFAQs NBIceman edition. Y'all enjoy the rest of your evening.
http://i.imgur.com/UYamul2.gif
Spurs - Yankees - Eagles - Golden Knights

User Info: jcgamer107

jcgamer107
1 month ago#338
NBIceman posted...
I say "best friend" but she was always close to being more. We just kinda never found the right time.
f***, i feel that one

It really sucks to have someone you care about disappear from your life, it really is almost a grieving process. I hope you have someone enter your life who is equally important.
Official Advokaiser advocate

User Info: Mr Lasastryke

Mr Lasastryke
1 month ago#339
I can relate to that too to a certain extent. There was a period of time in 2011 when I literally saw my best friend every day, which was probably the happiest time in my life. Difference is that I still consider her to be my best friend, even though we only see each other like once every few weeks now. Also, I don't feel the need to call her regularly or whatever precisely because I know she's changed a lot since then, so even if we would still hang out every day it simply wouldn't be the same. Plus she's in a relationship now and she was single back then, so I get that it's ridiculous to expect her to have the same kind of lifestyle she used to have. I've accepted long ago that that period in '11 was lightning in a bottle. It's never coming back and it's pointless to try to recreate it.
Geothermal terpsichorean ejectamenta

User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#340
I wrote a brain dump, not really asking for help, just letting things go.

I just saw my clinician today, and I want to write some things down before I forget.

I'm obsessed with writing things down before I forget. My brain won't give me permission to forget things until I know I can get back to it later. Otherwise, they fester and start building up and it becomes brain fog. If I do forget, I obsess trying to remember. In meetings without paper, I can end up building lots of thoughts in my head, I'm constantly repeating them to remember them, and it's hard to keep track of all the voices.

I see things from my brains point of view. When I feel something, my brain narrates it, and that's how I know I feel it. When told to "get out of your head and stay in the moment", my brain is narrating what is happening in this moment. Like it's narrating exactly what I'm typing down. It constantly feels like I'm in my head narrating, so saying "get out of your head", I don't know what that means or how to do it.

I am obsessed with analysing everything. That's why I need to write it down, to make sure I analyse it later. If I'm feeling something, it's not just "I'm happy." It's "Why am I happy? What does this mean for me? Can I keep this long term?" And so on. It's like there are two voices. One that says "I am happy." and one that's bullying me saying "Why should I be happy?" that preys on my low confidence in myself. When I feel like crying, it's not a sadness, it's a fear that all the negative thoughts are correct about everything.

I don't like compliments. It tenses me up when I get one. I don't believe the compliments. I hear "he's just saying that to try to motivate me". Or if someone believes in me, I hear "You can't predict this, maybe I will, but I will freeze there thinking for an uncomfortable amount of time". I'm afraid I will get caught, they will see that they were wrong about me. I'm also afraid of disappointing people when I turn out to not be the person they think I am, or that they were trying to motivate me and I didnt believe them.

I think of the past and the future instead of now. When given a scenario, instead of staying in the moment, I relate them to my past. If someone says "I noticed you do this when xyz", my brain goes "it's like that time I was with abc and I also did xyz, but this one's better because def". Then I think of the future and how, this bad tick is a pattern, it's going to happen again. These tips, they only help me for a second, but then it's back. Always analysing and not enjoying the moment for what it is right now.

My lungs is like one of those game meters that slowly drains, except it drains really fast. When I'm stressed or anxious, it's empty. I take a deep breath, it relieves the tension in me, which is like refilling that meter, but it then drains in 1 second and then the brief moment of relief is gone and I'm back to where I started, and it feels like I'm just surviving and not really calming myself or anything.

I forgot a lot and I can't let it go.

Maybe this brain dump is part of the problem. I wasn't going to be okay until I wrote it down and went into my head to analyse it, and it stayed in my head obsessed until I did.
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and you are awesome
(edited 1 month ago)
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