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  3. mental wellness at board 8 [bipolar] [depression] [anxiety] [health] [antipurge]

User Info: DpObliVion

DpObliVion
2 months ago#201
How am I supposed to feel when I end up in a bit of a reunion with people who I don't really want to be associated with and who I don't want to talk to and was feeling anxious about talking to about how things have been since I've last seen them, but they don't recognize me or talk to me anyway?

Context, I guess: Dad's retirement party this weekend. After graduating college and being unemployed for over a year, he got me a job where he worked, where I never wanted to work in the first place, and was miserable working there for two and a half years until I quit seven years ago. A bunch of people there that I recognized from my time working there, but none of them seemed to recognize me. I really didn't want to talk to any of them, and a part of me is certainly relieved that I didn't have to deal with any, "Well, what have you been up to since then?" conversations, but at the same time, feels like it's confirming my complete irrelevance.

Also, my dad talked about some things in his speech which really resonated with me, in a very regretful, personal way. Like talking about how his parents taught him to give his absolute best to his employer who was paying him for the job, but I've been in a situation for years where I've been very bitter towards my job and my employer, and have been quite intentionally not giving my best at my job, showing up late every day and wasting my employer's time and just generally half-assing and not giving a s***.

I mean, it was bad enough just being at that retirement party, feeling super bored and depressed and anti-social, but then just being reminded that I'm a failure of an employee and a person. So it's been a pretty rough weekend. I almost want to just go in to work tomorrow and quit because I feel bad that I can't get myself to give 100% to my job and to my employer.
LGM

User Info: Waluigi1

Waluigi1
2 months ago#202
GTM posted...
how can one word simplify the multitude of thoughts in my head so well

For real.
PSN, and GT: Waluigi1
Switch FC: SW-6848-3841-9099

User Info: Waluigi1

Waluigi1
2 months ago#203
DpObliVion posted...
I really didn't want to talk to any of them, and a part of me is certainly relieved that I didn't have to deal with any, "Well, what have you been up to since then?" conversations, but at the same time, feels like it's confirming my complete irrelevance

Man, I relate with this really hard. It feels contradictory but I can't help but feel that way.
PSN, and GT: Waluigi1
Switch FC: SW-6848-3841-9099

User Info: GTM

GTM
2 months ago#204
remember to love yourself, you're great
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling

User Info: GTM

GTM
2 months ago#205
bump
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling

User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#206
bump
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling

User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#207
bump
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling

User Info: Hardcore_Adult

Hardcore_Adult
1 month ago#208
The relative that won't f***ing leave is still here and My throat feels like someone's been playing violin w/ my tonsils.

Also, I'm becoming a wee bit disillusioned with the job again.

Oh, and I still dislike a good portion of my family at the minute.

But these are first world problems.

I'll come back when I'm missing an arm/leg/etc or am facing jail.
I'll get back up for good this time and I ain't comin' down...

User Info: jcgamer107

jcgamer107
1 month ago#209
I've also had a nasty throat + sinus infection that's now lasted over a week and has caused me to miss a lot of work. Every summer for the last few years my throat/sinuses have gotten infected multiple times, seems like I have some chronic problem. I'm seeing a doctor Wednesday about it.

My roommate commented on my not going to work today - I'm really behind on rent and it's amazing that I haven't been kicked out yet. I did not want to miss all this work and I'm hoping to go back tomorrow but the whole thing is pretty f***ed. I've also had bad stomach problems the whole time I've been sick, and have been really depressed. Life's pretty s*** lately, I don't really want to live.
Official Advokaiser advocate

User Info: GTM

GTM
1 month ago#210
Stay well and see the sunlight
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling
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