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  3. mental wellness at board 8 [bipolar] [depression] [anxiety] [health] [antipurge]

User Info: GTM

GTM
9 months ago#21
bump
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling

User Info: Nuggy

Nuggy
9 months ago#22
I kind of feel relatively bad that I’m going nowhere with my life right now. Most people from my high school probably graduated and got a job by now and I’m on a disability...

It kind of makes me feel like I don’t really belong anywhere to be honest. I haven’t posted on board 8 in a long time because I don’t even feel like I even belong here anymore. I feel like it’s better that I’m known as some historical figure here versus an actual person. But I feel like this everywhere I go online because I’m not really interacting with anyone.

User Info: SuperNiceDog

SuperNiceDog
9 months ago#23
Nuggy posted...
I kind of feel relatively bad that I’m going nowhere with my life right now. Most people from my high school probably graduated and got a job by now and I’m on a disability...

It kind of makes me feel like I don’t really belong anywhere to be honest. I haven’t posted on board 8 in a long time because I don’t even feel like I even belong here anymore. I feel like it’s better that I’m known as some historical figure here versus an actual person. But I feel like this everywhere I go online because I’m not really interacting with anyone.


damn sorry about that. It's really tough world out there, online is so harsh. It just feels like you're interacting with bots all the time. Maybe try to develop a skill, like coding?
GJ BK_Sheikah

User Info: SuperNiceDog

SuperNiceDog
9 months ago#24
I got really depressed today and yesterday over the contest. I almost started crying today due to the negative feedback over my topic and also just feeling horrible about archiving people in the contest(including myself) for the past month. I felt like I was looking for the people who got the most pissed off and capturing that to be used later. I am not sure what I want to do regarding the contest doing forward.

I wrote to Zen about it, how guilty I felt for being a part of the contest.
GJ BK_Sheikah

User Info: Wreath

Wreath
9 months ago#25
SuperNiceDog posted...
I got really depressed today and yesterday over the contest. I almost started crying today due to the negative feedback over my topic and also just feeling horrible about archiving people in the contest(including myself) for the past month. I felt like I was looking for the people who got the most pissed off and capturing that to be used later. I am not sure what I want to do regarding the contest doing forward.

I wrote to Zen about it, how guilty I felt for being a part of the contest.


Dude it's just a contest its all fun and games, not meant to he taken too seriously.
https://i.imgtc.com/G1wRGgP.jpg

User Info: Mr Lasastryke

Mr Lasastryke
9 months ago#26
SuperNiceDog posted...
I got really depressed today and yesterday over the contest. I almost started crying today due to the negative feedback over my topic and also just feeling horrible about archiving people in the contest(including myself) for the past month. I felt like I was looking for the people who got the most pissed off and capturing that to be used later. I am not sure what I want to do regarding the contest doing forward.

I wrote to Zen about it, how guilty I felt for being a part of the contest.


There's definitely a ton of toxicity and people being rude as hell on this board (I've experienced enough of this myself, believe me). If you're sensitive to stuff like that it might be better for you to leave the board.

I say this with the best intentions; I have no problem with you. It's just that if the board is making you depressed and you almost start crying because of it, staying around might not be worth it. Seems like it's being a more negative than positive influence in your life at the moment.

Alternatively, you could just stick around in this topic and ignore the rest of the board. Aside from the occasional troll, everyone in this topic is being kind and supportive.

---

Aside from that, I will say the toxicity has always been one of my least favorite aspects of this board, to be honest. It's a shame your topic turned out the way it did because I do think you had a point somewhere in there and we absolutely need to have a legitimate conversation about the toxicity here. Look at how XIII is cool called ExTha a "f***wit" over the rally drama. I attacked ExTha quite harshly because of his Tifa rally but I would never insult him like that for it. In the end this is just a silly contest on a video game site. Calling someone a "f***wit" over this? Really? The way we casually and habitually insult each other here is disgusting.
Geothermal terpsichorean ejectamenta

User Info: GTM

GTM
9 months ago#27
bump
GTM - Boko United
survivor and dillos and nintendo and wrestling

User Info: VectorAgent

VectorAgent
9 months ago#28
I am in the midst of one of the worst and most prolonged bouts of depression of my life. I remember the exact moment it started. I was in my one room apartment (have since moved, living situation is in a bit of a flux at the moment). It was very late at night (technically early in the morning). I had my forehead propped into the crook of my arm as I leaned against the door, and that was when it started.

This was prompted by a few things, some of which really only have to do with me and some of which had to do with people who were then a fairly large part of my life. The me stuff is mostly a dissatisfaction with my own shortcomings, and a bit of a freaky episode when I passed out in the middle of the day and it has me wondering if I've been repressing something sort of traumatic from my past, because it has happened a few times in my life and it's always the same kind of thing that prompts it (it's always a movie, show, or book in which somebody gets molested). As for the people in my life, I was very close to several of them and became increasingly convinced that they had all completely moved on from me because they started doing things without inviting me along. A small matter to some, but this was the first genuine group of friends who I spent real time with in a very long time, so it was difficult. Throw in some heartache as well, because of course.

The morning after this started, I woke up and felt awful within seconds. I got into the shower and stayed in there for three and a half hours because I could not think of a single reason worth getting back out. There must have been something, I thought, something coming up that I was looking forward to, that I would regret missing out on if I spent the rest of my life in the shower. I couldn't think of anything. I only ended up getting out because the water turned pretty cold and I was freezing. The next day, same thing, two and a half hours in the shower this time. Two days after that, four hours. To cut a longer story short, I found myself sitting on the floor of my apartment one night, gaze alternating between my left wrist and the knife I was holding in my right hand. I wondered how long it would even take people to find out if I went through with it. I always paid my rent on time, and there weren't any issues with my room, so the landlord wouldn't have any reason to come knocking. Nobody else who I knew lived in my building, or had access to it, so it's not as though people could just stop by. I imagined it wouldn't be until my body started to smell and the neighbors complained. I wondered how long that took. I feel asleep pondering that.

In any case, life circumstances developed as such that I had to move in September, to somewhere completely different. I don't really know anybody here, and I'm trying to get my life on track. I haven't really met anybody new, so, I haven't had anything to take my mind off of the complete despair I've been in. I have one friend from where I used to live who I still keep in frequent touch with, someone who was also going through a hard time when I was, so we bonded over that. Being able to vent to her has been one of the only things keeping me sane. I sent an e-mail to one of my other friends opening up a bit about how bad I've been feeling, that was two weeks ago, and I never got a response, and that kind of hurts. My go-to method of self-psychiatry is usually just telling myself to suck it up because I hate to seem like I'm complaining, and I really hate for anyone to think that I'm being overly dramatic. It hasn't been working so well.

I thought I had outgrown feeling like this, but apparently not. I've been trying to find some positive things to focus on, to keep optimistic. It's tough. You can see from the age of my account that I've been around for a while. Always just a lurker, so there's no reason this should mean anything to anyone reading, but if you're out there and you feel like I do...right now, I love you for understanding.
Only guy on the entire internet thinking about the Scoobyverse.

User Info: DpObliVion

DpObliVion
9 months ago#29
Appreciate you for sharing. I'm definitely going through the worst depression of my life too. It's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. My life is just shallow and empty. I waste every day. There's so much that I can do and need to do to change things for the better, but I just don't. I'm afraid of the change, or I just don't have the motivation.

Either way, I just keep trying to push on.
LGM

User Info: SuperNiceDog

SuperNiceDog
9 months ago#30
hang in there Vector! I think going for a run or walk would help, that's what got me through my depression 3 days ago.

We have a very alienated, lonely culture thanks to smart phones and social media. That's probably a large reason for all of us feeling down.
GJ BK_Sheikah
(edited 9 months ago)
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