WARNING - LONG... But could make you laugh. Who's Havel the Rock you say? Oh he's nobody... just you know... THE GUY WHO ****** UP YOUR DAY THAT"S WHO! You see the first boss up there? Mister, Hammer Man Taurus? Yeah... yeah.... you can fight Havel BEFORE that poser. You know why? Cause he's smart. Why wait for you to become super powerful and THEN fight you like some other chumps? Why not... oh let's say... ruin your day within the first twenty minutes of playing! And if he kills you... does he run back to his starting position? NO.. he's right around the corner! WAITING... Knight? Dead in one hit. Pyromancer? All burned out! Wanderer? You done wandered into the wrong tower! Bandit? Band-aid! Warrior? You ain't ultimate. Thief? GET THAT CRAP OUTTA HERE! Now Havel The Rock... you think he's some super warrior? Some, smiteing GOD here to force your head to the ground and lick "I can't stand this..." over and over till you aquire a Toxin immunity? That's half right... about the licking... but the funny part is. He ain't a warrior. No no no my friends... Havel... Is a.... wait for it..... BISHOP... How do I know? Check the miracle description for Magic Barrier. "Miracle of Bishop Havel the Rock" "This Coating greatly boosts magic defense, assisting warriors who must face the magic which Bishop Havel countered so proficently." That's right... Havel... is a miracle casting, church praying,cross holding, holy water sprinkling, blessid be thy name chanting BISHOP.... He will make you BOW DOWN to the LORD... The Lord? That's what he calls his hammer... oh snap, that's no hammer. That's just a dragon's tooth... Havel is also a part-time dentist... he ripped that tooth out of a dragon, then beat him to death with it. Have to beat you someone to death with their own tooth before? I don't think so, sit down... Now of course I know you want to fight him. You think you're fighting this. http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/12/129974/1973882-6209453088_a099fc305c_b.jpg No... NO... YOU are fighting THIS. http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn97/Grimno/Havel.jpg You can try status effects... Poisons... Bleeding... yeah... he eats that for breakfest. Toxic-O's cereal. Now in Chaos Bug Crunch flavor. When he wants water, he goes to Ash Lake and wrestles the Hydra just to get thirsty before sucking up water from the lake! He hits you once, you die... you gotta hit him A LOT... firebombs? Try about.. oh say... fifty of them or more and you might beat him. Why he's so hard to kill? He wears... GRANITE ROCKS... for armor... Who needs metal? Who needs cloth? Rip the ground up, slap in on you, and just go to town! And when you do beat him, if you beat him... key word there... you know what you get? His hammer? Pssshhh... His armor? As if... No.. you get... a RING.... an accessory... and the ring, it makes you be able to carry more stuff. OHHH SNAP... Havel gets the last laugh. He denies you his armor, his weapon, and gives you a ring that basically says "You're fat and slow... here's a ring to help with that diet chubby..." His armor? Hid that stuff... you might not even find it... And if you do find it? Havel laughs again! AGAIN... all those chests man.. OH SNAP.. One's a Mimic... yeah if you're not careful, he kills you beyond the grave! So sign here if you're a part of the Bishop Havel the Rock's Fan Club... cause this guy would make Biorr of the Twin Fangs beware the limit of his OWN potential! ~Grimno (The Eccentric Gamer) Explosions Solve Everything! |
Lol, nice post TC. Havel is pretty aggressive for a Bishop. Adversity introduces a man to himself. |
Thanks for that, classic stuff. People complain about the lack of a traditional "story" in this game, when this is proof of the cool stuff you can find in this game. Funny what you can learn from item descriptions, cheers |
I would have preferred if he showed up later honestly >.> As is, he's another stepping stone on my way to the shortcut at the second bonfire. One that doesn't take much time :S Now these points of data make a beautiful line, and we're out of beta we're releasing on time! So I'm glad I got burned, think of all the things we learned! |
He's the scariest thing I have seen so far I scramed like a girl when I saw him standing there at the bottom of the tower "WHAT THE F*** IS THAT!!!" Does he, or any of the characters infact, have a background story?? |
I just lol'd so hard. Best post ever. |
Great Post! I actually thought I HAD to kill this guy to progress at first..... real soul destroying stuff |
Awesome post :). Ye he beat me amny many times at the beginning made me cry..... then i went back later after teh hydra and he still smacked the crap outa me... but alas i managed to annihalate him with backstabs later :) took a while.. but damn i want his armour lol. |
sign'd Havel is a Hero. Yes he has a story, read item descriptions to get the jist of it. Top Games: Radiant Silvergun, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Left 4 Dead, Dead Space. |
I remeber when I first fought him. I opened dat door with my master boss key. I was running down those stairs thinking sone chump is about to get stabbed. I hit that last flight and I saw him. Grand Masta Flash Havel the Rock himself. The messages on the floor said tough enemy ahead. I was like "Yeah more like tough enima ahead for whoever is down there." I didnt expect him to run up the stairs so I jmped off the stairs and he followed suit landing on me and stunning me. He then just casually swung his denture hammer and I was a neat little stain on the floor. |
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