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User Info: DSMachine

9 years ago#1
Saxon: Welcome to the first edition of Saxon's Troll Lodge. I'm Saxon Jackson the *holds up 4 fingers* 5th.

Chucky: 5 years later and the guy is still a dumb f-
Tiffany: Chucky! This isn't pay per view.
Chucky: ****! No bonus pay?
Tiffany: Oh dear...

Saxon: This revolutionary and historic...

Tiffany: Pfft!

Saxon: ...first show is dedicated to the GFCW/IDPW legend, the Demon Suplex Machine! Today I will interview the former Demonweight Champion and get details on this "invasion" that the IWC has been buzzing about.

Saxon walks down a long corridor with low crowd noise that increases as he gets closer to an entrance.

Chucky: Where's he headed?
Tiffany: Maybe if you shut up we'll find out.
Chucky: **** you.
Tiffany: This is why we never got married.

Saxon reaches the end and opens a door. The crowd noise is defeaning. A huge cage resides in the middle of the room with 2 fighters in it. One of them, with his blood red flesh and familiar horns, is pounding away at his opponent. On the outside there's maybe 2 or 3 hundred drunk spectators cheering on the outcast.


Tiffany: Oh my...is it really him?
Chucky: No way. The last I heard he was doing deliveries for DHL.

The beast lands a belly to belly demonplex onto the cage wall and with one last savage blow to his opponents temple he knocks him out. His body lays limp. The ref calls it a match and raises the beast's hand.

Announcer: Your winner, by knock out, is the Demon Suplex Machine!

The crowd goes wild and DSM nods his head to them.

Chucky: Well, I guess the DHL thing didn't work out.

Saxon: This is the moment we've been waitiing for, ladies and gents.

A shady looking guy hands DSM a wad of cash. DSM shakes his hand and walks away. Saxon follows DSM to his locker room. DSM wipes his opponents blood off his face with a black towel before sitting down and covering his head with it. He has yet to acknowledge Saxon.

Saxon: Hello, DSM.

DSM begins removing the tape from his fists, but continues to ignore Saxon.

Saxon: I said HELLO, DSM.

DSM: Heard ya the first time. What do you want?

Saxon: I'm doing investigative reporting on my very first show.

DSM: What's that got to do with me?

Saxon: You are my first scoop. And I just happen to be GFCW's number holds up 2 fingers 1 reporter.

DSM: shakes head Right...

Saxon: So, DSM, can you give me details on the invasion that everyone's talking about?

DSM: News sure does travel fast.

Saxon: Yes it does.

DSM: Truth be told I'm not sure where we're headed to, but wherever that is I know one thing. We will conquer.

Saxon: Can you tell us how it all came about?

DSM: I got a call late one night from Max. Much like myself, his appetite for destruction is insatiable. We just love tearing **** up.

Saxon: DSM, I must ask that you keep this interview PG.

DSM: Since when has GFCW been PG?

Saxon: Well-
Now it's about time I step in with the gangsta lean,
It's about that time, homeboy...

User Info: DSMachine

9 years ago#2
DSM: Was it when Dawn and I ran over Squall and almost killed him with a monster truck? Or how about when Max and Don drove a tank to the ring intent on blowing **** up? Or maybe it was when Elmo raped half the roster?

Saxon: Point taken.

DSM: Anyways, Max is looking for a fight and I'm always up for one. So we decided it was time to go find some fresh blood to spill.

Saxon: Seems like you did some of that tonight.

DSM: Not enough for my tastes. These guys here offer me no challenge. I've spend the last few years traveling the world for a real challenge. Haven't found any. The closest I came was a couple months ago when WWE contacted me about facing Taker at Mania. What bigger challenge than to end the glorious streak right?

Saxon: Rumors said it was going to be Sting.

DSM: That was BS. Sting was never in the running. Vince has had his eye on me for years but the timing was never right. However, with GFCW buried, and my craving to prove that no one can defeat me, I was game to face the one man they said was unbeatable on this one day every year.

DSM finishes up removing the tape from his hands and gets up to wash them.

DSM: WWE officials carefully put the rumor out about Sting facing Taker, but it was a smoke screen to keep my involvement a surprise. All the papers were drawn out and I was ready to sign on but 2 very important things stopped me. 1- I found out Taker was hurt. He wouldn't be 100% going into the match. I have too much pride to face the heart and soul of WWE on his greatest night when he's in no shape for the fight of his life.

DSM turns the faucet off and sits back down.

Saxon: And the other reason?

DSM: chuckles Money.

Saxon: They didn't offer you enough?

DSM: Actually, they offered me a pretty penny.

Saxon: So then...

DSM: They offered me a pretty penny to take a dive. They wanted me to JOB to Taker.

Saxon: Really?

DSM: They wanted to protect his legacy by tarnishing mine. They wanted me to lay down for someone that I know I can defeat, even at WrestleMania.

DSM removes the towel from his head and looks Saxon in the eye.

DSM: After all I've been through, do you really think I would lower myself to losing to an inferior opponent?

Saxon: Not rea-

DSM: Of course not! I may not live by the rules that humanity has set, but I do have a code of honor. And that code guides me through the belief that you have to kill me to beat me. Just ask Squall. He had to send me into the abyss to take my title. When I step into a battle I am ready to put my life on the line as should my opponent. There is no other way.

DSM covers his head once again.
Now it's about time I step in with the gangsta lean,
It's about that time, homeboy...

User Info: DSMachine

9 years ago#3
DSM: So that call I got from Max got me excited. This is a chance for DSM to regain his former glory, while keeping his belief system intact. This invasion could be the rebirth of the Demon Suplex Machine.

DSM snarls at Saxon, who jumps back.

Saxon: Well, um, thank you, DSM, for your time.

Chucky: Is that a wet spot on Saxon's pants?
Tiffany: He's known to have a weak bladder, Chucky.

DSM stares Saxon down until Saxon backs out of the locker room.

Saxon: Always a pleasure to talk to DSM.

Saxon wipes his forehead down with a napkin that he got from McDonalds.

Saxon: That's all for this week, folks. Tune in next time when I find out the father of Elmo's next baby. The leading candidates are Female Dog, PeePReeL, and Charlie Sheen. Or is that Charles Lee Ray? Saxon checks his notes.

Chucky: Wasn't me, I swear.

The show fades to black.
Now it's about time I step in with the gangsta lean,
It's about that time, homeboy...

User Info: likeabot

9 years ago#4
****ing sweet man. nice promo. glad to see you still got it. now who we wreckin!??!

User Info: likeabot

9 years ago#5
*passes the mic to max*

User Info: Maximicus

9 years ago#6
Sometimes I talk to myself. I'd say it's the only way to have an intelligent conversation, but even then it usually devolves into poop jokes.
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