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I think it probably depends on how you're conveying you're not interested. Same thing as "you're racist if you refuse to date POC". Like no I'm not refusing they just aren't typically my type, or whatever.
I think if youre attracted to/interested in someone and they drop the bomb that they're trans and you recoil and act disgusted, prob gonna think you're phobic. Just don't be mean about it and your actions probably won't be construed as mean.
I don't think you need certain reasoning you just need to not be s***ty about it? If somebody refused to date blondes and just said they aren't really their type it's fine and literally nobody would care. But if you're vocal about how they're disgusting and/or insult them it's an issue with the type of person and more than a dating preference.
I think the simple and safe rule - making obvious exceptions for cases of abuse or statutory situations - is to be attracted or not attracted to whoever you want, just don't be s*** to other people for who they are or aren't attracted to
To be more explicit to the topic at hand, I don't think it's transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, but I do think it's transphobic if you rib your buddy about it if he is into it. Treat it with dignity, don't make someone feel like it's something they have to hide or be ashamed of
I'm blanking on who it was, but there's a good standup comedian who does a segment of one of his specials, discussing how he's attracted to chicks with sticks. He's dealt with the shame of the past and he's come to terms with it, it's all good. So yeah I agree, just be respectful.
Who cares what people do, as long as it's consenting etc...