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Okay, let's dump the word 'attraction' and put it this way:Yes, I can see your point. There certainly are pedophiles who feel only the sexual lust for children without the feelings of love or admiration. But still the word 'attraction' seems to convey the meaning quite well in my opinion; it's just a different type of attraction. So maybe instead of calling the pedophiles a subgroup of the lolicons it's indeed better to say that there's an intersection between both groups. There's one group with sexual feelings (pedophiles) and one with aesthetic sentiments (lolicons). And if someone shares both kinds of feelings, he's part of the intersection. Of course there are no statistics for this, but I expect this intersection to include the vast majority of all pedophiles.
Yes, we could draw a Venn diagram of 'pedophiles' and 'lolicons' and I'm sure there would be a very large overlap in the middle.
And it could indeed be true that most pedophiles are also lolicons to some extent. It does seem difficult to imagine a pedophile having a sexual attraction to children without also liking or admiring them in some way.
But, as you said, there aren't any statistics, so we'll never know.
Even without statistics we still can rely on common sense and experience. Basically pedophiles have the same kind of feelings for children that "normal" men have for adult women. And among those "normal" men there's only a small minority (I hope) who actually rape the women they feel attracted to. Of course a "normal" man can still hope to find a partner, even when there are many women he doesn't have a chance to get close to, while a pedophile has to realize that he either needs to stay a virgin or become a criminal. And if he belongs to the group of those pedophiles who actually love little girls (and not only desire their bodies), he certainly wouldn't want to harm the ones he loves so much. So I'd think that most pedophiles never actually commit child abuse, because a) they don't want to go to jail, and b) they don't want to hurt the ones they love. So in fact being a pedophile is nothing to be ashamed of; being an abuser is. It's just that many people don't seem to understand this important difference.
It's going to sound like i'm promoting a website but here you go
Might be interesting to you guys.
Basically, yeah, I agree with the stance that pedophilia is a sexual orientation, not a mental illness. The problem is that pedophiles are attracted to individuals who are not old enough to give consent to or understand the consequences of a sexual relationship, so pedophiles are barred by law from ever having a fulfilling relationship with their preferred sexual partner.
So, in that way, it's even worse than the incest taboo. I've gotten on my soapbox these past few pages and said that any sexual relationship between two consenting adults should be legal as long as they take care not to produce children if there's a risk of those children being disabled.
But with pedophilia, the child can't consent. There is a very high risk of damage to their emotional and sexual development. And so the pedophile has to resign themself to a life of never having what they want. And meanwhile, everyone is pointing fingers at them and calling them a monster. There is a vast spectrum of human sexual preferences, and vilifying someone for being a statistical outlier who doesn't fit into the 'normal' range of that spectrum is just bigotry.
That's the way it is: a child, being to young and lacking the necessary life experience, can't consent. Any sexual act involving a child would be illegal, and, even worse, would be very likely extremely harmful to the one the pedophile feels love for. Never getting what you want is not very satisfying, but after all ruining the lives of the ones you love would feel even worse.
There's one more thing: a child will grow. After a few years it will have turned into an adult: a similar, but still distinctively different person. So unavoidably love is always a problematic thing for a pedophile, even if he has no problems to control his desires.
And thanks for the link, PIM! That's a good article.
Well either that they can't consent, or they're scared that objecting would've meant losing their primary source of affection and/or income.
Anytime, old man =P
Yeah, that's something that always bothers me about 'happily ever after's that occur when one or both of the lovers is in their teens or early adulthood. People change. The incestuous crush that a girl feels for her older brother (thinking more of Nanoka here than Kana) may evolve into a sense of distance, disgust and self-loathing when she becomes an adult. The touching bond between two high school sweethearts may fall apart when the two attempt to face the realities of living together, let alone raising a family.
And a child who feels that they love an adult enough to engage in a sexual relationship with them may feel used and taken advantage of, if incompatibility issues emerge in the relationship as the child grows older, especially if the adult loses interest in the child as they grow more mature.
That's one more reason why it's necessary to avoid any sexual acts in a loving relationship with a child, no matter how much you feel attracted to her and no matter how much she trusts you. Even if she agrees to anything you suggest, even if she seems to be flattered by being treated like a "big girl", and even if she never ever tells anybody else about it - what will she think once she's grown up, maybe twenty or thirty years later? Do you want her to remember you for the rest of her life as "the best babysitter I ever had", or rather as "the dirty scumbag who abused me back then"? Undoubtedly I want her to have fond memories of me whenever she looks back on the times of her childhood.
Yeah, it's just that the romantic in me that was fed and nurtured by fiction for a couple dozen years finds it really difficult to face the fact that that there really isn't someone for everyone and that not everybody does get a happily ever after (or even something that vaguely approximates one).