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  3. I have never had a single stable healthy long term relationship.

User Info: lenmutt

lenmutt
1 month ago#1
Has occured to me semi recently

Often dating peeps i do not connect with on any level due to no senpais

Ignoring nice ones because "senpai notice me" to no avail i actually think part of me likes obsessing since one time senpai did notice me and they wanted to move to fast and @_@ freaked me out, ah such was youth~

more often than not I wasn't proper significant other just more of a fling or secret.

but no saint by any means as often date below my class to maintain upper hand in what few proper relationships until i get sick of the person on some level be it sex or just them as an individual. often passive aggressively make them leave me in some way either purposely or subconsciously

i get bored in relationships quickly and can sorta see how it will always play out though i have never dated someone who was my type physically and due to hiding away my nerd s*** for the longest time meant i'd never date anyone with similar interest often vapid and sexy or okay & okay

sexually only have ever been drawn to one loves but... oof shouldn't have been doubly so since they were 1 of 2 junkies i had something with.... both abruptly ended on odd terms

oh and don't date someone who is religious when you are not especially if they are not sexually active it can create a dry tension that will leave the active one agitated and lusting after others

oh and never date within my class since the pressure is too much for me to bare and i self sabotage alot that's a whole other thing....

last one i was with were before the big move and they were a close personal friend and afterwards i got weird since i was very angry with myself for tainting one of the best friendships i had in such a long time ended up pushing them away without much explanation and thus we drifted apart.

Overall i am also just a terrible lenmutt when in a relationship hyper jealous, suspicious, and possessive demanding public displays of affection even when not very appropriate

despite all this i am actually pretty loyal i have never truly cheated on a lover, though one time i did makeout with someone i wasn't with... which lead to my current lover to break up with me funnily they had slept with someone (a personal friend) in our first attempt pretty much tells me second chances are doomed to fail. However i did not just go to that makeout person afterwards i think subconsciously i wanted my current lover to leave me again or more accurately i didn't truly want to be with them again who knows. lesser lenmut. different headspace.

i think all this is floating around my trying to be asexual head because i happened upon someone who is cute, boring but sweet. Part of me wonders "i can mold them into a perfect relationship" another part of me thinks "maybe i can have this simple rock" and the only good non selfish side of me thinks "leave them be, don't s*** up their life in an attempt to fix yourself"
https://i.imgtc.com/ILDd0a7.gif

User Info: SpunkySix

SpunkySix
1 month ago#2
same but for different reasons
What doth life?
#3
(message deleted)

User Info: willingmess

willingmess
1 month ago#4
Sorry, I don’t want to make things about me. I deleted the post.

I’m sorry to hear that lenmutt. I hope you find your special someone some day. I can definitely sympathize with you on some fronts.
Why so bananas about it?

User Info: lenmutt

lenmutt
1 month ago#5
oooh it wouldn't let me quote because you deleted the post. blah

anyways, was gonna say in response to that is you should have dated them for exp

User Info: lenmutt

lenmutt
1 month ago#6
willingmess posted...
I hope you find your special someone some day.


I was probably born wrong era 🐙

User Info: lenmutt

lenmutt
1 month ago#7
SpunkySix posted...
same but for different reasons

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvpui8zQjX1qmm6lho1_500.gif

User Info: scrappybristol

scrappybristol
1 month ago#8
All I’m gonna say is there are 8 billion people in this world, there is someone out there for everyone.

User Info: lenmutt

lenmutt
1 month ago#9
scrappybristol posted...
All I’m gonna say is there are 8 billion people in this world, there is someone out there for everyone.


but here's the thing i am a better me when not in a relationship. focused, chill, fun. I have more clarity of thought overall

User Info: Gubbey

Gubbey
1 month ago#10
i ome date had a girl at a girl

one timw there was this ome girl we had vodka together

other thsn thsg jo
I'll stop wearin' black when they make a darker color
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