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User Info: LinkFanatic

LinkFanatic
1 month ago#11
You and SSJ4 are generalizing drug users a lot. The reason I want to hang out primarily with other drug users is because I don't have to worry about being socially accepted. I'm like really f***ed up mentally, so the idea of me being accepted among like-minded people definitely appeals to me. Otherwise, there's always that certain pressure to act a certain way when you're with others...even your friends.

I can act completely carefree, drop my boundaries and just go wild...and nobody cares. If anything, they're more likely to overlook it as a consequence of inebriation. I can be the person I want to be, not the person that society or people with more limited boundaries than me say I should be.

That's a great feeling.
Islam is Chaos Control.
(edited 1 month ago)

User Info: GreenKnight127

GreenKnight127
1 month ago#12
Generalizing drug users? We are talking about personal experiences.

Here's some more background that might help you understand my perspective:

I spent a large portion of my childhood playing outside. I even lived on a farm for a few years, then moved to a small town of about 800 people. Country life. Outdoors.

Entertainment for me was hiking, biking, swimming, shooting guns, photography, and video games.

Drugs never needed to come into the equation.

I never had anything against people who used drugs....but I noticed that they had stuff against me.

When people found out I didn't smoke or drink....they thought I wasn't cool enough to hang out with.

When I went to college....as soon as I got done moving into my dorm room and my mom and brother left.....all the guys on my floor came to my door and wanted to get to know me. Apparently they had all moved in a few days earlier because they were athletes, or in the band, or other special programs, and got like some kind of Freshmen week thing waaay in advance. I was the last guy to move into 'their' dorm, so they wanted to see what I was into.

The FIRST question the one guy asked me was, "Do you smoke weed?"

I just kinda laughed, trying to be polite, and said, "Haha um...no. Sorry."

No lie. No exaggeration. After that.....nobody in the entire dorm wanted s*** to do with me. They wouldn't even make eye-contact with me in the hallway. Because I didn't smoke weed, I apparently had nothing in common with them. I was a non-entity in their eyes.

This bothered me for a very long time.

Like....a really long time.
"Think about everything you want out of life. Now think about how many of those things you want only because someone else told you to want them."

User Info: OrangeWizard

OrangeWizard
1 month ago#13
Recreational weed usage is still largely illegal. If I was doing something illegal, I wouldn't want to hang out with someone that might potentially report me, so maybe it was that. Honor among thieves and such.
(edited 1 month ago)

User Info: GreenKnight127

GreenKnight127
1 month ago#14
I ain't a snitch. For them to assume I'd tattle on them as justification to totally alienate me is just childish. They wouldn't even say "hi" to me. That's f***ed up.
"Think about everything you want out of life. Now think about how many of those things you want only because someone else told you to want them."

User Info: SSj4Wingzero

SSj4Wingzero
1 month ago#15
LinkFanatic posted...
You and SSJ4 are generalizing drug users a lot. The reason I want to hang out primarily with other drug users is because I don't have to worry about being socially accepted. I'm like really f***ed up mentally, so the idea of me being accepted among like-minded people definitely appeals to me. Otherwise, there's always that certain pressure to act a certain way when you're with others...even your friends.


I'm not generalizing. I'm speaking about a single personal experience, with a guy whose interests were also diverging in other ways from mine.

And it wasn't as if I had a problem with the fact that he smoked some weed on occasion. He just stopped wanting to hang out. We started becoming his backup friends. If we called and asked if he was free on Saturday, he'd say, "I don't know yet", which is basically code for "I'll let you know if my other friends don't make plans". After a while it got pretty obvious that he wasn't interested in our company anymore.
Not changing this sig until the Knicks win the NBA Championship! Started...4/23/2011? Or was it 2010?

User Info: CoyoteTheGreat

CoyoteTheGreat
1 month ago#16
I really just think it is a "certain kind" of Christian that is socially awkward. I mean, technically our country is full of them, but most normal people are really low key about their religion so they act like any secular person would. But the "certain kind" of Christian is like a "certain kind" of any sort of fanboy and make everything about their religion. That kind of person is obviously not going to mesh well with normal society.

They likely have more in common with the "certain kind" of drug users who are all about their drug use than either party in this topic would like to admit. It is just awkward to talk to anyone who has an absolute, all-consuming obsession over anything unless you share that obsession.

Beyond that, I think there are several young Christians who are clearly on the autism spectrum and attracted to a strong rules-based approach to religion. That might also account for a lot of the awkward Christians, and it isn't really the religion there so much as being on the autism spectrum that accounts for the awkwardness. That isn't really their fault or their religion's fault, and I think that they should be considered with empathy.
Disobedience is the stamp of the hero. -Ragnar Redbeard
Also, this is Kagata..
(edited 1 month ago)

User Info: SSj4Wingzero

SSj4Wingzero
1 month ago#17
Yeah, folks who are totally obsessed with one thing and allow it to influence every part of their lives can be obnoxious.

Think about it like a Sports fan. Most people watch sports and enjoy it. It's a hobby. No big deal. But on occasion, you'll find that one guy who is so completely dedicated to sports that everything he says or does revolves around it, and he can't even be in the same *room* as someone who doesn't watch the same sport or doesn't like the same team. It's rare, but it does happen.

As for autism, that's a tough one. Many people who have autism are not diagnosed as having it, and you can be just *barely* on the autism spectrum and live your whole life without anybody in your family ever thinking that you needed to get evaluated for it. Does someone have autism, or is he just an awkward guy? That line is not easy to draw even for medical and educational professionals, let alone your average everyday person.

Incidentally, some forms of autism do lend themselves to obsessions over certain things. But...they could be anything. I don't think there's much research done on any correlation between ASD and church attendance, and there probably won't be anytime soon.
Not changing this sig until the Knicks win the NBA Championship! Started...4/23/2011? Or was it 2010?
(edited 1 month ago)

User Info: kozlo100

kozlo100
1 month ago#18
Are we not all just describing everyone in their late teens and early twenties?

Isn't this the usual time where everyone is a bit awkward, a bit overzealous and idealistic, losing old friends because of changing interests, and all the rest?

I'm sure most of us don't think we were like that at our age, but are we really sure that isn't just the lingering effects of being awkward, overzealous, and sure there was something wrong about other people and not us?
Time flies like the wind,
and fruit flies like a banana.

User Info: OrangeWizard

OrangeWizard
1 month ago#19
For those of you that aren't awkward... what's it like? How do you do it?

User Info: AntiMrPlaya1

AntiMrPlaya1
1 month ago#20
GreenKnight127 posted...
I try not to generalize....but from personal experience....I have noticed that young Christians (like, under the age of 25?) aren't "awkward" so much as they are just quietly condescending.

They secretly believe that something is wrong with people who aren't Christians like them. They see themselves as better. While they see everyone else as lacking something.

They do NOT enjoy hanging out with people who aren't Christian. Unless, of course, it's to help convert them by talking about Jesus constantly.

If they are out of high school/college and STILL havent learned how to communicate, or even associate with non-Christians.....something is severely wrong.

I have personally lost three friends over the course of my life....because they "found Jesus" and suddenly would only allow themselves to hang out with people who go to church with them. They just 100% dumped everyone else in their life. For no reason. The non-Christian friends didn't say anything offensive. Didn't do anything wrong. They just existed.....and someone brainwashed them into thinking "if they aren't with Christ....they are against Christ."

The loss of one particular friend still kinda bothers me to this day. She was a very good friend....we talked all the time. Then she just stopped hanging out with all of us. Wouldn't text us back. Wouldn't say hi when we'd see her in public. It was almost unreal.

And then we talked with some people in her family, wondering if everything was okay, wondering what happened....and they told us point blank: "Yeah, she only associates with her Christian friends now."

And it was seriously like a punch in the gut.


I think this is it for me personally. I'm 29, but a lot of the people I work with are straight out of college. I'm not sure its condescension, but it does kind of feel like they struggle to talk about things other than religion.

CoyoteTheGreat posted...
I really just think it is a "certain kind" of Christian that is socially awkward. I mean, technically our country is full of them, but most normal people are really low key about their religion so they act like any secular person would. But the "certain kind" of Christian is like a "certain kind" of any sort of fanboy and make everything about their religion. That kind of person is obviously not going to mesh well with normal society.

They likely have more in common with the "certain kind" of drug users who are all about their drug use than either party in this topic would like to admit. It is just awkward to talk to anyone who has an absolute, all-consuming obsession over anything unless you share that obsession.

Beyond that, I think there are several young Christians who are clearly on the autism spectrum and attracted to a strong rules-based approach to religion. That might also account for a lot of the awkward Christians, and it isn't really the religion there so much as being on the autism spectrum that accounts for the awkwardness. That isn't really their fault or their religion's fault, and I think that they should be considered with empathy.


I never considered the autistic implications there. This is particularly interesting because I am working at school for special needs children.
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