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User Info: Seraphor

Seraphor
6 years ago#1
Basically, after the sector 5 reactor blew up, Cloud fell to his death.
The rest of the game after that point was simply a fantasy that played out in Cloud's unconscious mind during the last few moments of his life.

Think about it, everything up until that point was believable.
A mercenary, working for an eco-terrorist group, blowing up polluting reactors, that's pretty much it.

However after this point things get more and more unbelievable.

1. Flowers broke his fall
A few flowers won't break a fall from that height, in fact they probably didn't, they were probably the last thing he actually saw before he suffered a fatal subdural haemorrhage.

2. Aeris
What a coincidence that the random flower girl he met earlier that day, happened to be in the 'church' he landed in. And then it turns out she's the last of her species, a species that happens to look exactly the same as humans, and can also speak to the planet. Yeah right.
He probably saw her earlier that day, thought she was hot, and had been dick-thinking about her all afternoon. It's no wonder he fantasised about her on his deathbed.

3. Zack
Seriously, he couldn't even figure out his own past. Doesn't sound like reality to me, it sounds like the way things get muddled up in your head when you're dreaming.
Which leads us to...

4. The Lifestream
He fell into the centre of the planet and had this psychedelic fantasy about finding himself, then survived and came back to the surface, apparently unscathed! Not to mention it was his childhood friend who hadn't seen him for 7 years who apparently saved him.

5. Sephiroth
A guy who died, and fell into the core of the planet 7 years ago, is apparently still alive, and controlling clones all over the world, to summon a meteor that will cause enough damage to the planet, that the planet will "heal itself" and turn him into a god.
Seriously, it gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on. Just what you'd expect from an hallucination.

He wins the chocobo race, despite having never ridden a chocobo before.
He gets away with sneaking on board a military ship without being caught.
He goes into space on a rusting old rocket that can barely stand up.
The list is endless.

Cloud was a loser.
He failed in SOLDIER, and he failed in being an eco-terrorist.
He even failed in his own damn fantasy!
In the reality of the game, Tifa mourns his death for a few days, then totally gets over him, because after all she hasn't known this guy for 7 years! She marries Barret, adopts Marlene with him, and they run 7th heaven for the next ten years.
Aeris, or as she's really known in the real world, Tracy, is actually a prostitute, and only sells flowers during the day as cover. (they actually come with her business card attached, which Tifa was horrified to discover in Marlenes bedroom after Cloud gave her the flower)
Zack never existed, Zack was actually Clouds imagined cover for when he was to go on undercover missions, but he never made it into soldier so that never actually happened.
Nibelheim did burn down, but it wasn't Sephiroth who did it, it was Cloud, with a chip pan, because he's such a klutz.
Yuffie was actually his girlfriend, but she dumped him, because he was too much of a loser for her.

User Info: more_cow_bell

more_cow_bell
6 years ago#2
somebody was bored.
"First come smiles, then comes lies. Last is gunfire."

User Info: EveryonesGrudge

EveryonesGrudge
6 years ago#3
What the hell, I'm in.
The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.

User Info: WingedMasamune

WingedMasamune
6 years ago#4
Looks like someone just discovered the Squall is Dead theory.
PSN: Grekaosangel
http://theepicgamers.com/downloads/grekaosangel/Project%20VII.pdf

User Info: Raiu

Raiu
6 years ago#5
You know, once you take "everything that's not 100% realistic must be part of a dying dream" as a basic tenant of fiction, then pretty much every story in the world that is not 100% mundane is suddenly also a "dying dream".

Lord of the Rings: Bilbo falls off the table at his birthday party, cracks his head open, dreams the whole epic quest about rings and wizards and elves and magic.
Star Wars: Luke Skywalker dies of dehydration while gathering moisture, dreams the whole adventure in space and magic "Jedi" powers.
Spongebob Squarepants: The pirate singing the opening theme is dying of scurvy, and dreams up a bizarre undersea world with talking plants and animals.
Superman: Jonathan and Martha Kent get into a car accident while driving home, and have a dying dream about finding a magical flying alien baby. And it turns out to be the best magical flying baby in the whole universe!

See? It's easy!
-Raiutaryuu-

User Info: CatMuto

CatMuto
6 years ago#6
WingedMasamune posted...
Looks like someone just discovered the Squall is Dead theory.


Yeah, this basically feels like the Squall is Dead theory, only with Cloud. And earlier and not "everything past the 1st Disc is a dead dream" but a "everything past the first HOUR of the game is a dead dream"

C-A
"Yahoo! Yeah, you bastards worked out who the totally-not-obvious killer was! Good going there, you frickin' geniuses!" - Monokuma, DRAT

User Info: Atomos199

Atomos199
6 years ago#7
Seraphor89 posted...
had been dick-thinking about her all afternoon.

He even failed in his own damn fantasy!

Aeris, or as she's really known in the real world, Tracy, is actually a prostitute, and only sells flowers during the day as cover. (they actually come with her business card attached, which Tifa was horrified to discover in Marlenes bedroom after Cloud gave her the flower)

The highlights. For anyone who went TL:DR on this one.

9/10, might read again.
I never gained supreme ulti-complete status. I projected my mind ca. 3 years into the future and realized it was going to be a waste of time.
~ bastardpoetry

User Info: RinkuTanuki

RinkuTanuki
6 years ago#8
CatMuto posted...
WingedMasamune posted...
Looks like someone just discovered the Squall is Dead theory.


Yeah, this basically feels like the Squall is Dead theory, only with Cloud. And earlier and not "everything past the 1st Disc is a dead dream" but a "everything past the first HOUR of the game is a dead dream"

C-A


Terra was dead before the game even started and none of it happened ever.
I'm not 100% sure, so don't quote me on this. But I don't think the purpose of the censorship was to ruin time-traveling Hitler's fun. - Curse

User Info: Atomos199

Atomos199
6 years ago#9
Can we now pretend that WE are all dead, and this topic never REALLY happened?
I never gained supreme ulti-complete status. I projected my mind ca. 3 years into the future and realized it was going to be a waste of time.
~ bastardpoetry

User Info: CatMuto

CatMuto
6 years ago#10
RinkuTanuki posted...
Terra was dead before the game even started and none of it happened ever.


I knew it! For years I've had this theory, but never spoke up about it. It's nice to finally know that it's true.

C-A
"Yahoo! Yeah, you bastards worked out who the totally-not-obvious killer was! Good going there, you frickin' geniuses!" - Monokuma, DRAT
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