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User Info: Demon1050

Demon1050
1 year ago#1
it never gets old all the stupid crap you can do that ends up being funny as hell when you're in just the right mood.

So I had this couple in a small crappy house. She's got raggedy as hell clothes working as a dishwasher struggling to make her $90 a day. He's a worthless unemployed POS. Every day she leaves for work at 6AM and he throws a party. Spends upwards of $200 for food and entertainment partying hard while the poor old lady busts her ass and still ends up in a deficit. Party's over and his ass is dead-asleep on the GOOD bed in the master bedroom meanwhile she just got home from work tired as hell and has to take a piss. The yard, kitchen, and living room is full of trash and dirty dishes full of flies and roaches. And of course all the party guests clogged the toilet up so now this poor woman has to clean up the **** of probably 20 people while having to piss so bad she's going nuts. Can he do it for her? Oh hell no he zoned out hours ago. He doesn't give a flying **** about her.

So now she goes to bed starving, in need of a shower and no social life to speak of. Barely gets enough sleep on the ratty old bed (Again, his lazy POS ass takes the only good bed) and rushes out to work again at 6AM, still getting no food, shower, barely having time to take a piss after unclogging that mess.

Then what happens? The same thing all over again. This alcohol unemployed useless mofo ain't changing, ever. lol That's the scenario I played tonight and I found it quite amusing.

User Info: Demon1050

Demon1050
1 year ago#2
Another couple I had that was funny involved the gambling machine where you can bet up to $100.

They both had good jobs until low and behold they decided to purchase an in-home casino. It was all well and good at first, actually collecting quite a nice chunk of profit playing after work. The crap took a tumble though within a week or so. She was OK but he got absolutely hooked. Skipping work, eventually getting fired. He did OK at first until the big losing streak. This is where he become obsessed. There he stood, gambling at the machine every waking hour of the day. Gotta piss? He just pisses a puddle and stands in it whilst gambling away. Tired? Just fall asleep in the piss puddle for a few hours and then get right back to the action.

It timed out to where as soon as the money ran completely out while she was at work, he died of starvation. He met his demise and slumped down right into the multiple piss puddles...almost as if he was saying FML, I'm broke so I may as well let myself die. Goodbye cruel ass gambling machine. lol
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