NEED HELP! To correct english lyrics

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User Info: OhMYGoodNES

OhMYGoodNES
1 week ago#1
Like the topic's title suggest... I need help to correct english song lyrics. I need to go throught all of them before getting seriously into recording the final voices. I got 21 songs to correct. Of course, what would help me is people that art pretty good or great in english and might have a poetic objectivity in the sense that this is not an University essay, so sometime the imagery can bend some rules without being irreverent.

Let me know if you are interested! Thanks !
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User Info: Lifeless

Lifeless
4 days ago#2
That is super cool! What are the songs about?
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User Info: OhMYGoodNES

OhMYGoodNES
4 days ago#3
Lifeless posted...
That is super cool! What are the songs about?


Mmm good questions. It's vague...

About emotions, some complex situations, love, anger, despair, hope, defeat, courage, resilience, suicide, relationship, life, the difficulties to communicate, loneliness, the society, social pressure, the silence, the desillusion, the desire to make a difference, melancoly etc.

I don't do party music. For me, music and writing are therapeutic. I know it all does not sounds fun, but it is for me, it makes me feel good.
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User Info: Timeclock

Timeclock
4 days ago#4
OhMYGoodNES posted...
Lifeless posted...
That is super cool! What are the songs about?


Mmm good questions. It's vague...

About emotions, some complex situations, love, anger, despair, hope, defeat, courage, resilience, suicide, relationship, life, the difficulties to communicate, loneliness, the society, social pressure, the silence, the desillusion, the desire to make a difference, melancoly etc.

I don't do party music. For me, music and writing are therapeutic. I know it all does not sounds fun, but it is for me, it makes me feel good.

I understand. Could you share some?
The battle is not over Octarians! I will never surrender after what you did! None of us will! Now die!! https://splatoonwiki.org/wiki/Inkling

User Info: OhMYGoodNES

OhMYGoodNES
4 days ago#5
Yes I will share lyrics of one song tomorrow ☺
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User Info: Lifeless

Lifeless
4 days ago#6
I could probably use some therapeutic music like this too. Would like to help you see this through if I can as well! :)
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User Info: OhMYGoodNES

OhMYGoodNES
3 days ago#7
@Lifeless so like promised here's the lyric of one of my song:

LIFEMUSICBULLs***

So confused by how they play
Yet cannot find any other way
The world is in a trance
All the songs are now the same

I feel good when I'm making these
Can only be stop by suicide or disease
This is my last resort

Hum hum hum hum hum hum
Hum hum hum hum hum hum

Fully aware that I'm not a weak
LSD was never a grief
How do we answer the call?
What if I just want to be deaf again?

Everyone's creeping out for control
Men feed on blood and Gods on souls

So many bulls***, so many lies
So many times we wanted to die
Now I don't care, be my guest
I'm emotionally transgressed
World is like what I've been told
Life is easier when you embrace the mold
Swallow your pills and enjoy the show
You're playing cool but you only follow

Yeah I'm nothing, but I'm not a fool
An underdog judged by its drool
The world will never change
As everyone's becoming the same

Everything can be bought and sold
Money pays, but most of us are poor
We'll never be free from what's coming our way

When everything's spinning out of control
Men feeds on hope and Gods on holes

So many bulls***, so many lies
So many times we wanted to die
Now I don't care, be my guest
I'm emotionally transgressed
World is like what I've been told
Life is easier when you embrace the mold
Swallow your pills and enjoy the show
You're playing cool but you only follow

We forget to fight while we enjoy the show
We forgot to fight, but not to swallow
We forget to fight while we enjoy the show
We forgot to fight, but not to swallow
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User Info: Lifeless

Lifeless
1 day ago#8
OhMYGoodNES! To me this is like a window to a soul that has exhausted itself from clawing at the walls of one's body. I like how you captured that kind of feeling. I just did a few minor grammar changes, but I might've messed up some rhyme and rhythm by doing so. Sorry about that! I indicated them below so you can check on them.

Just one thing I'm not sure about is the "LSD was never a grief" line. Like, having the article "a" before the noun "grief" could be technically be grammatically correct, but is uncommon usage, I thiiiiink? Is there another way you might like to phrase this part?

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing this. It brings me the kind of relief that comes after a good scream, and I can't even hear it yet! Great work. ☺

OhMYGoodNES posted...
LIFEMUSICBULLs***

So confused by how they play
Yet cannot find any other way
The world is in a trance
All the songs are now the same

I feel good when I'm making these
Can only be [stopped] by suicide or disease
This is my last resort

Hum hum hum hum hum hum
Hum hum hum hum hum hum

Fully aware that I'm [not weak]
LSD was never a grief
How do we answer the call?
What if I just want to be deaf again?

Everyone's creeping out for control
Men feed on blood and Gods on souls

So [much] bulls***, so many lies
So many times we wanted to die
Now I don't care, be my guest
I'm emotionally transgressed
World is like what I've been told
Life is easier when you embrace the mold
Swallow your pills and enjoy the show
You're playing cool but you only follow

Yeah, I'm nothing, but I'm not a fool
An underdog judged by its drool
The world will never change
As everyone's becoming the same

Everything can be bought and sold
Money pays, but most of us are poor
We'll never be free from what's coming our way

When everything's spinning out of control
Men feed on hope and Gods on holes

So [much] bulls***, so many lies
So many times we wanted to die
Now I don't care, be my guest
I'm emotionally transgressed
World is like what I've been told
Life is easier when you embrace the mold
Swallow your pills and enjoy the show
You're playing cool but you only follow

We forget to fight while we enjoy the show
We forgot to fight, but not to swallow
We forget to fight while we enjoy the show
We forgot to fight, but not to swallow
This signature exists to make lines of text at the end of my post not look like a signature, which would probably otherwise be overlooked.

User Info: OhMYGoodNES

OhMYGoodNES
1 day ago#9
Lifeless posted...
OhMYGoodNES! To me this is like a window to a soul that has exhausted itself from clawing at the walls of one's body. I like how you captured that kind of feeling. I just did a few minor grammar changes, but I might've messed up some rhyme and rhythm by doing so. Sorry about that! I indicated them below so you can check on them.

Just one thing I'm not sure about is the "LSD was never a grief" line. Like, having the article "a" before the noun "grief" could be technically be grammatically correct, but is uncommon usage, I thiiiiink? Is there another way you might like to phrase this part?

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing this. It brings me the kind of relief that comes after a good scream, and I can't even hear it yet! Great work. ☺


Wow I love you comment. It cheers me up ! You are poetic yourself !

For your corrections... we cannot say "So many bulls***" like we individualize them and not gather them in a whole bulls*** ? SO MUCH bulls*** is killing the rythm indeed. Maybe I will have to rework the whole sentence.

A grief ?! I don't understand how we could not use A in front. Like:
- a dog
- a sorrow
- a grief

Thanks A LOT for your feedback !!!
@Lifeless Could I throw a another one at you?
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User Info: OhMYGoodNES

OhMYGoodNES
1 day ago#10
@Lifeless

You did not said yes, but I feel sad and I wanted to share a song that fits my mood. This one will be the last song of the album.
It's kind of more straight foward.

JUMPSTART

I'm lost in my mind
But I'm finding my way now
Through the maze that is life

I stare down at the river's flow
Something is in the air
Is this what I was waiting for ?

We want to break in the light
But we're only breaking the bulb
We pray and praise for more
And if we hear nothing then it's all our fault

Wanna jumpstart, jumpstart head first
I want to stop it all over again
Wanna jumpstart, jumpstart head first
I want to stop it all over again

I got a lock to the heart
But I'm finding the key now
Through the mess that is life

The head's full and brain's blown
Something is in the pain
Is this why am I living for ?

We want to break in the light
But we're only breaking the bulb
We pray and praise for more
And if we hear nothing then it's all our fault

Wanna jumpstart, jumpstart head first
I want to stop it all over again
Wanna jumpstart, jumpstart head first
I want to stop it all over again

Nothing's near
Nothing's far
Nothing's real
Nothing last

Wanna jumpstart, jumpstart head first
I want to stop it all over again
Wanna jumpstart, jumpstart head first
I want to stop it all over again
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