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User Info: Kamil

Kamil
8 months ago#1
(until we get shut down again)

So where was I. Last I recall, John Redcorn led us on a magical vision quest where we turned into several different objects and animals until then the visions turned to food (yum) and bands (does rock sign).

*inhales cigarette*

In sports:

Training camps officially started in the NFL yesterday. As far as I know Julio Jones is still holding out because 47 million dollars (guaranteed mind you) to play a game is not enough money for him. Gotta love it. If only I was guaranteed 47 million dollars driving the Winnebago around.

In gaming:

Fortnite's 5.1 patch....wait who who wrote this garbage? *crumbles up paper* Let's see if we can find some better news......ummmm ummmmm

*inhales cigarette*

You can now subscribe to Nintendo Switch's paid online service. Because apparently if you can't wait and want to give them money now for something available in September, you can!!!!

And finally let's hit some weather news. In a shocker to no one, an emergency was declared in the town of Redding, California. According to my sources the wildfires are 'Moving at Speeds and in Ways We Have Not Seen Before in This Area' At least 1 person has died, dozens of homes destroyed, 10,000 forced to evacuate. As callous as I may have sounded at the beginning it's always sad to see so many lives affected by wildfires and these just don't seem contained to California. Other countries around the world have been affected.

Let's not end on such a downer so let's head to the world of entertainment and see what our favorite celebrities are out to because our lives are so mundane we must live through even shallower lives. Meghan Kisses Prince Harry After Polo Match, and he liked it!!!! This I gotta see.

*inhales cigarette*

And now some messages from our sponsors. Yes we have sponsors now!
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
7 months ago#2
which means I can afford even more cigarettes *smokes two at the same time*
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
7 months ago#3
I wonder if Octavio is still around.
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
7 months ago#4
*wakes up in chair*

*still half asleep* Ahhhhh I'll stab you get away from my chickens..........*shakes head* god where I am, oh I'm on!!!!!!

In Sports, the NFL:

The Jets did the bare minimum in the 2017 season and still managed to over achieve in some folks eyes by rolling off five wins. "Everybody was used to losing," Jets safety Jamal Adams told Bleacher Report. "You can always tell that vibe. I came in, and it was like everybody wanted to do the bare minimum. They didn't want to go above and beyond. They didn't want to take that extra step. They didn't want to be uncomfortable, [but] to be great, you have to be uncomfortable." Which way do the Jets go this year. New Quarterback Sam Darnold may try and change the culture.

*sips Mountain Dew*

In Gaming: Doom Eternal (hey wait they stole that name from me!!!) is the next game in the Doom franchise and is set to release.........wow why do I even click on these Gamespot links......the title of the article is literally "Doom Eternal: Release Date And What We Know So Far" So I click on it and the article is basically, well we don't know much and there is no release date at this point." F Gamespot there is your gaming news.

In Weather:

Uhhh more California widfires uhhh Global Warming.

*inhales cigarette*

Let's end with Entertainment news again:

From The Daily Beast:
Angelina Jolie accuses Brad Pitt of shirking child support!!! Friends reveal what Brad Pitt's been paying for after Angelina Jolie claims he's failed to deliver 'meaningful' child support!!!!! One friend told Page Six that Brad has, in fact, been paying hundreds of thousands of dollars a month!!!!!!

Wow I'm so.....not interested.....ok let's take a music break. *puts on low rider*

*sips Mountain Dew*
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show
#5
(message deleted)

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
7 months ago#6
Our signals got crossed there, stay tuned for the next update.
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
7 months ago#7
*catchy music plays leading into the Dale Gribble Show*

......well you don't think those cigarettes just smoke themselves do you????

*music continues playing*

I made this tinfoil hat so the government can't read my thoughts from a satellite and you think I'm strange??? Who honestly eats tofu!!!!
*announcer voice*
Grrrrrrible talk is live!

In Sports:

So last week ESPN ran a feature called "Mount Puckmore." Essentially staffers discussed four players that just defined the team. Can't believe Ed Belfour was left off the list for the Dallas Stars *editor's note I think of Belfour as a Blackhawk first, but he was on the Leafs too and this infamous moment in history https://www.dallasobserver.com/best-of/2000/sports-and-recreation/best-bribe-6459764 - One billion dollar bribe! *

In Weather:

Hurricane Lane, a Potential Hawaii Flood Disaster, May Pass Dangerously Close to Maui and Oahu, Including Honolulu, Friday! Hawaii really has been getting battered with flooding and it may not be over. Whether the core of Lane's strongest winds affects parts of the islands through Saturday remains uncertain. Regardless, dangerous flash flooding, mudslides, battering waves and coastal flooding are likely.

In Gaming:

Introducing THE FCK DRM INITIATIVE !!! DRM not only effects games but it can effect books, music, movies and apps as well. Visit https://fckdrm.com for more details.

Let's end with Entertainment news again:

This time in the world of music. It's a little over a week old but still relevant enough. Save celebrity news for another time. https://www.businessinsider.com/worst-albums-of-all-time-according-to-critics-2017-8

The 41 worst albums of all time. Let's see now. Your top three

1. Kevin Federline — "Playing With Fire"
2. Limp Bizkit — "Results May Vary"
3. Viva Brother — "Famous First Words"

Who the hell is Viva Brother?

Let's check my e-mail live for the first time.....huh this e-mail says that these news stories are almost completely copy and pasted and lazy? What I'm insulted....I spent a lot of *ahem* time uhhhh copying uhhhh we'll be right back. Cut to commerical!!!!

Cut to commercial!
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
6 months ago#8
*technical difficulties*
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
6 months ago#9
Show will resume someday.
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show

User Info: Kamil

Kamil
6 months ago#10
TODAY is not that day.
"A lesser talent couldn't have pulled it off. But I'm willing to bet on BoJack Horseman. Are you?"
~~Cuddlywhiskers on the new show
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