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FAQ/Walkthrough by KeyBlade999

Version: Final | Updated: 11/23/12

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                / /__| (_) | |  |   <       / /__|  __/ | | (_) |
               /_____|\___/|_|  |_|\_\     /_____|\___|_|  \___/

                  |    Zork Zero: The Revenge of Megaboz     |
                  |            An FAQ/Walkthrough            |
                  |              By KeyBlade999              |
                  |                                          |
                  |            File Size: 50.5 KB            |
                  |          Current Version: Final          |
                  |    Time of Update: 1:19 AM 11/21/2012    |

                        Section Negative One: Donations             **ZORK_-1**

While I do write all of my guides for free, it does take a lot of time and
effort to put them together. If you're feeling generous and want to show your
appreciation, I am gladly accepting donations. I don't know exactly what the
donations will be used for, but just know that you would definitely be helping
me make more quality FAQs! Even the smallest donation amounts are appreciated,
and are a great way to say how much you appreciate the work I do. If you do
decide you'd like to donate, please send the donations through PayPal at the
e-mail address listed below. Thank you so very much for considering this!!


By the way, this is also my contact e-mail, so if you want to contribute
something to this or any of my other FAQs, or have a question to ask about one
of them, go ahead and use this e-mail.

                        Section Zero: Table of Contents              **ZORK_0**

  [Section Title] .............................................. [CTRL+F Tag]

  -1. Donations ................................................ **ZORK_-1**
   0. Table of Contents ........................................ **ZORK_0**
   1. Introduction ............................................. **ZORK_1**
   2. Version History .......................................... **ZORK_2**
   3. Legalities ............................................... **ZORK_3**

   4. Command Schemes .......................................... **ZORK_4**
   5. Main Walkthrough ......................................... **ZORK_5**
   6. Fun Things to Do ......................................... **ZORK_6**

                           Section One: Introduction                 **ZORK_1**

Welcome to another FAQ of mine. This one covers the PC game known as Zork Zero.
This magnificent game is part of a number of other Zork games, all of which are
difficult text-based adventure games, which is probably the reason you came
here. Well, you need help, and I shall do my best to give it.


Yeah, I don't know much to say about this. But try to enjoy.

                         Section Two: Version History                **ZORK_2**

Final - First and likely only version of this FAQ completed.
        1:19 AM 11/21/2012

                           Section Three: Legalities                 **ZORK_3**

This FAQ may not be reproduced under any circumstances except for personal,
private use. It may not be placed on any website or otherwise distributed
publicly without advance written permission. Use of this guide on any other
website or as a part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and a
violation of copyright.

All trademarks and copyrights contained in this document are owned by their
respective trademark and copyright holders.

© 2012 Daniel Chaviers (a.k.a. KeyBlade999).

If you would wish to contact me concerning this or my other FAQs, use this
e-mail: keyblade999.faqs@gmail.com, or PM (Private Message) me on the GameFAQs
message boards.

O-----------------------------------O    O------------------------------------O
|     Allowed sites for my FAQs     |    |        Forever-Banned Sites        |
O-----------------------------------O    O------------------------------------O
|    GameFAQs (www.gamefaqs.com)    |    |      CheatCC (www.cheatcc.com)     |
|   Neoseeker (www.neoseeker.com)   |    |       www.cheat-database.com       |
| SuperCheats (www.supercheats.com) |    |  Cheat Index (www.cheatindex.com)  |
|                                   |    | Cheat Search (www.cheatsearch.com) |
|                                   |    |    www.panstudio.com/cheatstop     |
|                                   |    | Game Express (www.gameexpress.com) |
|                                   |    |             Mega Games             |
|                                   |    |  Cheats Guru (www.cheatsguru.com)  |
O-----------------------------------O    O------------------------------------O

                        Section Four: Command Schemes                **ZORK_4**

This game is one of a wide genre of text-based adventure games. In this game,
like many of them, you'll directly enter your commands into the command prompt
on-screen. There are a number of different ways to say things, but you had best
be sure in what you want to say.

Cardinal Directions:

These can say in the form "Go/head/walk ___", or just "___". The blank is the
direction or an acceptable abbreviation as below.

 - North     (N)
 - East      (E)
 - South     (S)
 - West      (W)
 - Northeast (NE)
 - Northwest (NW)
 - Southeast (SE)
 - Southwest (SW)
 - Up        (U)
 - Down      (D)


There are a number of things you are supposed to do. A lot of them can mean the
same thing. Here are a number of them that function properly, thanks to TUI.

                    ANSWER          FOLLOW          SAY
                    ATTACK          GIVE            SEARCH
                    BLOW            INFLATE         SHAKE
                    BREAK           JUMP            SLIDE
                    BURN            KICK            SMELL
                    CLIMB           KNOCK           STAY
                    CLOSE           LIGHT           STRIKE
                    COUNT           LISTEN          SWIM
                    CROSS           LOCK            TAKE
                    CUT             LOOK            TELL
                    DEFLATE         LOWER           THROW
                    DIG             MOVE            TIE
                    DRINK           OPEN            TOUCH
                    DROP            POUR            TURN
                    EAT             PRAY            UNLOCK
                    ENTER           PULL            WAKE
                    EXAMINE         PUSH            WALK
                    EXIT            PUT             WAVE
                    EXTINGUISH      RAISE           WEAR
                    FILL            READ            WIND


It goes without saying. Don't screw it up. Most commands, except directions,
should have a verb and noun in them.

Also, be specific. Don't just say "fight". Like when fighting the troll in
Zork I, saying "fight" assumes with your hands. Instead, say "Fight with
sword" or, even better, "Fight troll with sword". This way, exactly what you
want to do is conveyed properly.

Compounding Commands:

How to execute more than one command at once, you ask? Well, you simply need to
input the command, then a comma, then the next one. For example, if I want to
go north three times: "north,north,north". If I want to go south, east, west,
and north: "s,e,w,n".

However, in Zork Zero, you need to be wary of compounding item-based commands.
For example, you can no longer say "take X, Y, Z, Q" - you must now say
"take X and Y and Z and Q" as one command.

Miscellaneous Commands:

There are a number of other commands available to you. Here are the ones I know
of, with suitable abbreviations within parentheses, and grouped together by
similar/related effects.

 - Verbose   : Whenever you re-enter a room, you'll get another description.
 - Brief     : Returns verbosity to normal, starting setting.
 - Superbrief: Only a room's name and items are detailed.
 - Look (L)  : Get a redescription of the room.

 - Diagnose: Learn of current condition. Imagine your wound status like HP.
             Perfect health is 3/3 HP, hit with a light wound is 2/3 HP, and
             hit with a serious wound is 1/3 HP.

 - Inventory (I): Find out all of the items on your person.

 - Score: Get your rank, moves, and score. Scores are out of 1,000.

 - Again (G): Repeat the last command you used.
 - Wait (Z) : Use three moves consecutively with nothing occurring. Often used
              to heal wounds.

 - Hint    : Get the hint menu after a confirmation.
 - Save    : Save a game.
 - Restore : Load a saved game.
 - Restart : Begin a new game.
 - Quit (Q): Completely exit the game after a confirmation.

Absolute Randomness:

There are a number of things in this game you can do that have pretty much no
use in the game at all, except for fun or something. This is just pretty much
my documentation for random commands that result in rather humorous effects.
There's nothing much to gain from doing any of these.

And, no, I don't plan on adding to this list. What's here is what's here; if
you find something else, great, but it's not pertinent to the game.

 - Jump, Hop, Leap, etc.: Generally, you'll get insulted, but in some areas
                          that are high up, you often get killed.

 - Scream, Shout, etc.: "Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!"

 - Kill Me With Me: "You aren't holding yourself!"

 - Hello: You're going crazy.

 - Throw Me: General negativity.

 - Eat Self: "Auto-cannibalism is not the answer."

 - Certain Swear Words: Whaddaya expect?

 - Kiss Me: "I'd sooner kiss a pig."

 - Love: "I don't know the word 'love'."

                        Section Five: Main Walkthrough               **ZORK_5**

 |                               NOTES ON THIS                               |
 |                                                                           |
 |  This section contains a full, rather verbose walkthrough for this game.  |
 |  While the commands to input are vague, they are easily drawn out from    |
 |  context. This walkthrough was designed to be less boring than a direct   |
 |  listing of the commands to enter; if you want such a list, you'll have   |
 |  to look at a different FAQ. (Not to bash those FAQs, of course. It just  |
 |  gets rather mundane looking at the same commands over and over.)         |
 |                                                                           |
 |  Additionally, this walkthrough is one of the faster ways of completing   |
 |  the game. Thusly, you won't readily explore it as much you would on your |
 |  own. This will likely ruin the game for you, so I just suggest doing it  |
 |  yourself first, or at least trying to do so.                             |
 |                                                                           |
 |  And, finally, this game is designed to be played with the instructions   |
 |  in hand, likely as a form of copyright infringement protection or the    |
 |  like. You can find PDF versions with a quick Google search. I WILL refer |
 |  to the instructions throughout the guide, because they are sort of a     |
 |  half-done walkthrough when used right, and thusly saves me some time.    |
 |                                                                           |

The Jester:

Unlike the other accompanying jerks in the "previous" Zork games, you'll find
the jester here to be much more lethal. He has a number of lines, and you'll
want to know how to get rid of the effects of the dangerous ones. Everything
else is fairly immaterial, so no worries.

"Catch you around, clown!" - Take off the clown nose or you'll suffocate

"See you later, alligator!" - Just give it time, but remember to pick up the
                              stuff you dropped

"Think I'll catch some winks. Nighty night!" - Yawn to remove the big bug

"Tune in next time, same bat-time, same bat-channel!" - I just hope you saved,
                                                        for you'll get dropped
                                                        in a random place

The Demise of the Dimwits:

Once you begin the game and read some stuff, go northeast, south, west, east,
and west. Here, Megaboz appears and begins his ranting. Do something to waste
a turn - it doesn't particularly matter. Heck, I just said "Lick wizard".

Anywho, on the next turn, dive under the table like the other people do, unless
being incinerated during the freakin' prologue is on your itinerary. Once
everything's okay on the next turn, stand up and get the parchment nearby.

Now, in case you don't know, basically Megaboz placed a curse on Dimwit and
his family. They'll soon be dead, and, in 94 years, the Great Underground
Empire will fall.

This is the story of the man who broke the curse.

Dimwit's Scepter:

94 years later, you, now a peasant, will awaken in the Great Hall, strangely
with the parchment from years ago.  O_o  Anyways, get everything nearby, then
go up and head south.

Head south again and press the button there. You'll then find a bag. Read the
warning on it, if you wish, then open the bag and get the food. Drop the
calendar and parchment - we don't need either of those, if you have the

Anywho, go north, then look at the rebus here. The mouse icon, if you noticed
before, has been removed. Interesting. Go north, then down. Drop the food and
go south twice to the throne room. Yep, two thrones - "The Excessive" is far
behind him, now. Take the scepter here. That is your first of 24 Flathead

Johann's Metronome:

Turn to the "Suspendur" (suspender) section of the instructions so you can get
your way to the Secret Wing.

There, go south and get the candle. Much like the ivory torch of prior Zork
games, this thing will be lit for an infinite period of time for some
crazy reason. It will go out, however, if you, for example, drop it in some
water. Don't be stupid - look at what happened to Dimwit!

Anywho, go south, west, then southwest. Go up here and grab the key. The jester
should appear and steal the key.  -_-  He gives you a riddle to solve and, if
you can do so, he'll hand it back. Say the letter "Y" and you'll get it back.

Go west, south, and take everything in that room. While you're at it, wear the
glove, too. Then head north, east, northeast, east, east, down, south, and
southwest to a nice torture chamber. Maybe we oughta do something nasty to the
jester here, hm?  >:)

like sitting on your butt will normally do, will kill you. Granted, you can
save and see just *how* it kills. Anyways, open the torture devices and snatch
the metronome when it falls from above. It is a Flathead item, you know.

John Paul's Seaman's Cap:

Make all the sexual jokes you want about it; it won't change the fact that you
looked here to find out how to get it.  :P

Go northeast, then down. You'll find a cap here, so take it.

Ralph's Manuscript:

Wait a turn and the jester will appear. You'll get a riddle, so answer by
saying "Triplet". Then go north, up, west, and head northward until you hit
the Great Hall. At the suggestion of DKW 001, I'll use this as one of my main
two drop points. Feel free to do as you will.

Go north and east, then drop the seaman's cap and the cloak. Go north and east
to drop the metronome and the scepter. Go south and southeast to a door. Unlock
it with the key, open the door, and drop the key. Go east twice and take the
wand - feel free to read it. Note that "minutes" is equal to the number of
moves you've taken.

Go east and up, then open the northern door. Go north twice and put on the
pair of goggles. Then head south twice out of here, then open the southern
door in this room. And here, you'll find one of the more annoying puzzles of
a game.

Here, you'll need to move the entire tower to the left or right peg, without
putting a heavier weight on a lower one. Move the "1" wieght, then stack it
onto a "2" on the opposite side. Then go for a "1" - "2" - "3" on the other
side. And so on. Once the bottom weight here is moved, put the other layers
on top in the proper order. If the bottom weight is odd numbered (1, 3, etc.),
then move it to the desired destination of the stack; otherwise, go to the
other side.

Once you're done with, go ahead and open the northern door. Go into the
open room. Go east and take (and read if you want) the manuscript. Another
Flathead item!

Stonewall's Lance:

Go west twice to the cup and take it, too. Backtrack to the east wing and head
north into the library. Touch the armor thrice to find the Lance of Stonewall.

Johann's Violin:

Since we're here in the library, take a look at the encyclopedia. There are a
number of things you can look at - there's a thorough number of things if you
look in the HINTS part of the game. Interstingly, chess, the Great Underground
Empire, grues, yourself (O_O), and, most importantly, the jester. Be sure to
note the jester's name - you'll need the whole thing later.

Well, not the whole thing, but whatever.

Go south, west, northwest, and north. Drop the manuscript and lance here, then
head into the Great Hall (south, west) so we can also drop off the cup and
wand. Go north to the Entrance Hall.

Check your inventory - if you have a scroll, slate, or comic, you may as well
drop 'em now. Push the doorbell to receive your next riddle - the answer is
"Say Time". The gate will open, and you are to head north.

Get the worm here, then go northwest twice and up. Turn the wheel here and go
down. (The cannonball is useless, for us anyhow.)  Go northwest twice and
southwest once. Open the locker here and take the key. The poster, also, is

Backtrack some - northeast twice, southeast, east, and north. The answer to
this riddle really is quite needless, but, for the inattentive, say 
"Bookkeeper". Then snatch up the coin. Go south, east, and south to find a
package. Open it and take the perch, then the pigeon.

Keep grabbing the pigeon until you actually DO grab it, which will force it
to teleport onto the perch. Once you've got the pigeon and the perch, go
north, east, and down. Push down the button and you'll hear a sound quite akin
to the goose - if you paid attention last time, that means the goose icon
from the rebus is gone.

Go south and get on the conductor's stand, then get off and take the violin.

Frank's T-Square:

Get on and off the stand once more, then head north, up, east, and north. You
will find a ring here; take it.  BUT DO NOT PUT IT ON WITHOUT SAVING FIRST!
You will regret it if you do.

Go south and west to the tower. Here, you'll find a huge tower that is perhaps
the most significant of the pirate protections here. The tower has over 1,000
rooms in it. That's bigger than the Zork TRILOGY, I believe. Turn in the
instructions to the profile of Frank Lloyd Flathead and go to his office.

There, take the T-Square and return to the bottom of the tower.

Babe's Dumbbell:

At the lobby of the tower, go west, west, west, northwest, southwest, then
southeast four times. Then head south and east to the Banquet Hall, where you
oughta drop the T-Square. Go south and down.

Here, get the walnut, then go up and west. This should return you to the Great
Hall. Drop everything except the walnut and steel key here - be sure you are
wearing the glove and the goggles.

Take the wand you dropped earlier, then go west and southwest. DO NOT PICK UP
THE FLAMINGO. Then unlock the door with the key, open the door, and drop the
key. Proceed northeast and north.

Take the lobster, who will seriously hurt you without the glove on. Then point
the wand at the lobster. Go south, southwest, west, and west again. Time for
another riddle - open the walnut by using the nutcracker, then show the walnut
to the jester, and eat said walnut. Yum yum.

Leave the west passage and head south. Drop everything and get the dumbbell.

Pierpont's Zorkmid Bill:

Now, you're probably wondering why we dropped everything but the dumbbell.
Simple - peasants are malnourished and generally do not have the strength to
lift such a "massive" weight. Don't worry for now.

Return to the Banquet Hall and drop the dumbbell.  *cue clatter*  Then
backtrack to the Gym and pick up the wand. Go north two times and read the
instructions here, if you want.

You should then begin the familiar game. Either way, it is annoying as anything
ever has been, rivaled insofar only by the Royal Puzzle in Zork III. Anywho,

</headache for now>

Go north now that the door is open and you'll have another game to play, all
thanks to the jester. But, luckily, you have the Goggles, so have no fear!
They give you X-ray vision, letting you realize the "duh" solution - the
zorkmid bill is not under any of the shells.

Point to where the bill is and you'll get it.

John D.'s Stock Certificate:

Return to the Great Hall. Drop the wand there and go to the Banquet Hall to
the north and east. Drop the zorkmid bill there. Check around and you should
have nine of the twenty-four treasures, placing you at 37.5% completion of
that quest.

Anywho, take the candle, cloak, zorkmid coin, and perch. Then take the pigeon.
Once you successfully do so, go down twice, then north. Get the passages and
read the thing that falls.

Go south twice and, seeing as you should have the glove, turn the dial to
a number (arbitrarily, I used "1"). Then open the vault and head south. Take
the certificate.

Thomas's Lantern:

After getting the certificate, drop the glove, since we'll never need it again.

Go north, up, southwest, south, west, and west. You'll note, in your
instruction booklet's blueprint, how to reach Room #17. Once there, you will
notice you are a knight's move away from Room #0 in corner. Yes, in case you
couldn't figure it out, this is a chessboard.

Drop the perch, then wear the cloak to be transported to the giant chessboard.
Go northwest, then west twice. This "soldier on a black horse" is actually a
black knight chesspiece. Give the pigeon to the soldier, which will teleport
the pigeon, and the knight, to where the perch is - Room #17.

Remove your cloak and take the pigeon. Let the soldier keep the perch, but do
not drop the pigeon. Tell the soldier to go north, then northwest. Basically,
"Soldier, go north then northwest" - remember how knights move.

After doing so, drop the pigeon and get the pigeon to head to the perch, which
is now in Room #0 with the knight. Nice. Take the hardhat from the soldier,
then tell the soldier to go south then southeast. Drop and retrieve the pigeon
again to return to Room #17.

Take the perch and drop the cloak - you won't need the latter anymore. Leave
the "construction site" and, from the exit, head south and east to the
Cave-In area. And there, you'll meet the jester. Say his middle name that you
should have written down earlier, then take the Bob-omb... My apologies, just
Bomb. Sorry, you do not get walking, talking, overly-suicidal bombs in this

Return west and north to the crossroads and, there, put the zorkmid coin into
the basket. Go along the path to the orb room and take everything there except
the kitchen sink.  [Disclaimer: there is no kitchen sink.]  Backtrack to the
crossroads again, then go north, north, northeast, down, and down.

Throw the bomb and... OH CRAP - THERE ARE HORDES OF GRUES STILL ALIVE!?!?!?!?
Oh, if we only had a candle that would be lit eternally! Oh, wait, we totally
have an eternally-lit candle.  >:)

Take the lantern. Sound familiar, Zork Trilogy players?

Thomas's Screwdriver:

Go up, up, north, and take the screwdriver. I bet you remember that from Zork I
don't you?

Lucrezia's Flask:

Go back on to the Banquet Hall and drop the screwdriver and stock certificate.
You'll need to keep the lantern for now. Proceed into the Great Hall and drop
all but the candle there, then take the cup.

Return to the crossroads and go west twice, southwest, and west twice more to
a fishing village. Go north and you'll meet with the Inquisition. Don't worry,
we're not doing Poe's "The Pit and the Pendulum" here, though that would be
totally awesome.

Well, then, take a ticket and open the box to find some repellent. Take said
repellent and read the sign. Then just wait around until it's your turn. Say
"Executioner, behead me" to induce the old, famous paradox ... and to also
induce your freedom. Nice.

Outside, drop the ticket and go west and north. I highly suggest saving now,
then sit down next to the jester. Play around as you will - you'll soon find
the game to be a bunch of bull. Okay, not really, but it's exceedingly
complicated, and I will  NOT  detail every step here. Look in the instruction
booklet's bio of Babe Flathead to get it. Aha.

Eventually, you'll win the broom from the jester. Accept it, then stand and go
south, east, south, south, and southeast. Read the sign for another classic
puzzle, then SAVE.

Go northeast and read each door. Heh heh heh. Anyways, the first statement is
always "This door does not lead to Prevaricon Territory." Thusly, the second
message on the Wishyfoo door is false. Thusly-thusly, the Veritassi door is the
only door with the second statement being true. In that case, which one is the
Veritassi door? The puzzle is randomized, but write down the statements on the
doors. If Door #1's second statement is true, check with the others. Repeat
this process with Door #2 and Door #3. Eventually, you'll find the one second
statement causing the other two second statements to be false. Go through this
true door.

Here, pick up the shovel, then head down to the fork. Go northeast, east,
and east to the crossroads. Make your way to the Lower Hall, then go down there
to the Mouth of Cave. There, go northeast, then down twice.

You'll be under the world. Go along the path to the Brogmoid's ear. Drink the
potion and listen to the fungus. Write down the name, it being important. Then
backtrack your way to the Lower Hall.

Go south and snatch up the  toboggan, then backtrack further to the Great Hall.
Drop both the cup and toboggan there, then go south, east, down, south,
and southeast.

Here, sweep the cobwebs away to reveal a flask. Drop the broom and take said

Dimwit's Crown:


Okay, that's over with. Return to the Entrance Hall and take the slate, then
head northwest until you hit the Outer Bailey. There, look at the slate and
you'll note that the elm alluded to is the stump, which had obviously been
chopped down at some time.

Stand on it, then jump as the slate says. Then dig the ground with the shovel
to find a chest. Inside is the crown!

John D.'s Diploma:

You know what to do with the crown and flash now, don'tcha? Once you do, at the
Great Hall, take the Seaman's Cap. Wear it, then take the perch, repellent, and
candle. Then take the pigeon.

Go down, southeast, and east. Enter the dock, then enter again. Look at the
control and you'll see some buttons. You only need to use three. Push the
white button, then go down and drop the repellent there.

Open the door and enter. Close the hand, then put your hand into the waldo.
Take the repellent and turn on the light. Move the lever down, then wait
around four times. Drop the repellent, get the ruby, and move the lever up.
Wait around four more times.

Drop the ruby, then take your hand from the waldo. Open the door, exit, and get
the ruby. Go up and press the green button, then exit the yacht, then the
docks. Go west twice and you'll meet the seventh riddle. Lucky you, I know the
answer. Say "music" to get the diploma.

Stonewall's Saddle and Lucrezia's Fan:

Go east, south, east, northeast, north, and east. Put on the amulet and never
take it off. Treasure it as you do your virtual life. Push the boulder and be
happy at how you parked at the green dock. Ouch. Hope there's insurance in the

Go north and press the button, then head northeast. Here, drop the ruby, perch,
and diploma. You come to a puzzle much like a familiar fable of Aesop's.

Go southwest, then down to the Lowest Hall. Get the gravel and candle, then the
pigeon. You'll return to the Shrine. There, put the gravel into the bowl. Go
southwest and down again. This time, get more gravel (you must say "more") and
the candle, then the pigeon. Put the gravel into the bowl. Repeat this all one
more time, but "get even more gravel" before the candle, then the pigeon.

And, back at the Shrine, you'll be able to take the elixir. Touch it and you
will have the power to catch flies, my young Padawan. Take everything, then go
southwest, south, west, and north. Take everything here, too, then go south

Get the fox, then head southwest. Take the fly and go west, then north. Enter
the dock, then the yacht. Push the yellow button. Take off the Seaman's Cap and
drop it. Exit the yacht, then the docks.

Doesn't this riddle seem a bit familiar, friends? Obviously, the fox wants the
rooster, who wants the worm. You can't leave the fox with the rooster or the
rooster with the worm alone or gobble gobble. Hmm... Go north, northwest, and
up. Here in the Great Hall, continue along to the Banquet Hall to drop
everything except the rooster and fox.

Take the worm, then go west, southwest, and west twice. Enter and press the
right button here. Enjoy the ride - wait around until you reach Fenshire.
There, exit and go south, east, and north. Wait around and the jester will
arrive. Apparently, you have the "ingredients".

Then the riddle truly takes hold. You need to take the rooster, fox, and worm
all across. You can only carry one at a time across, and you cannot leave the
fox with the rooster or the rooster with the worm, for someone will get eaten
and we don't need that. The fox with the worm is okay, however.

The solution? Drop the fox and the worm. Take the rooster across, drop it, and
return. Take the worm, go across, drop it and take the rooster. Cross the
quicksand again and drop the rooster. Take the fox and cross the quicksand to
the worm's side. Drop the fox, recross the quicksand, take the rooster, and
return to the other side.

There, you'll meet with dinner. A rather yummy dinner that just makes you so...

When you reawaken in the hangar, you'll find a block nearby. Take it and go
south and east. How did the archway get here? Go south and you'll meet the
jester is reader for a game of Nim, known as Snarfem in the GUE.

Here's the easy way to win this game. Look at the top-left and top-right
flowers. The former shows the pile number you want; the latter show the number
of stones you want. Follow the pattern and you'll take the fan soon enough.

Frank's Scale Model:

Return to the dirigible and push the left button. You'll return to Flatheadia,
where you oughta put the item in the Banquet Hall with your other Flathead

Take the candle, perch, ruby, toboggan, and the orbs. Read the funny paper if
you want, then take the pigeon as well. From the Great Hall, go east,
southeast, east, and south. Open the door and go down. Then look under the
slap alluded to in the funny paper. Go down to find the oracle.

Drop the perch, then put the ruby into the depression. The amulet you're
wearing then will show you where the oracle will send you to. Look at the
amulet and wait until one eye is open, then enter the oracle.

You should be at the Glacier. Here, drop the toboggan and ride it. Wheee~!
You'll be at a frozen lake. Look at the reflection of the orbs and you'll
soon see a sleeping maiden eventually. Throw the orb that showed the maiden
to you to the west.

Stand and drop the orbs, then go southwest and northwest. Take the orb, then
go west and take the model.

Leonardo's Easel and Landscape:

Drop and take the pigeon to return to the oracle's room. Go back up to the
Banquet Hall and drop the model there.

Return to the Great Hall and take the wand, then head down and southeast to
the zoo. Put the pigeon there and save, for this next part can be a bit
tricky and subject to mistakes.

Point the wand at the snake, turning it into a rope. Open the cage and get
the aforementioned rope. Then get the pigeon. Return to the oracle and
enter it with no eyes being open, which will take you to the crag.

There, at the Crag, go down and tie the rope to the spire. Go down again and
look at the amulet. Get the easel and the landscape, and you need to do so
separately. Drop and retake the pigeon to return to the oracle room. Wait for
no eyes to appear again, then enter the Matrix ... sorry, the oracle.

Push the button, then head southeast and down. Put the orb on the altar to
reunite a pair of lost, dead loves. They'll hand over a flower. Take it, then
go up, northwest, southwest, and put the block into the hole. Go south and
take the sapphire.

Drop and retake the pigeon. Now, pick up the perch and head back, once more,
to the Great Hall. Drop the perch, wand, and sapphire there.

Ralph's Quill Pen:

Then go to the Banquet Hall. Drop the easel and the landscape here and you
should be able to count twenty Flathead items around the room - that puts you
at 83% completion.

Go to the dirigible room and head to Fenshire. At the Ruined Hall, go ahead
and put the flower into the vase. Go east and take the stepladder, then head to
Flatheadia. Return to the Great Hall and drop the stepladder and take back the

Also wear the hardhat and head to the oracle room. Enter the oracle when all
four eyes are lit, then go east. You'll be hit on the head, but you'd be dead
if it weren't for the hardhat. You're welcome.

Go in any of the three directions here, then push the button. Continue along
to the dead end and take the quill pen.

Pierpont's Silk Tie:

Go west and southwest. The club is here, but we cannot take it yet, so go
southeast, east, and up. Turn on the lantern and head east. You'll quickly
lose either your lantern or candle, which is why I requested you bring the

Go southeast or you'll lose the other! You'll arrive in a witch's cave; to
summon the witches, put in "Prickly Witch, Hello" or "Sickly Witch, Hello".
Get the vial that appears and head northwest. Look at the nest and, there,
you'll find a tie. Get it.

Babe's Club:

Go west and down to find your candle and lantern. Get everything here and turn
off the lantern. Drop and retake the pigeon and, here, drop the lantern. Take
the cup and the stepladder. Finally, drop the silk tie and the quill pen.

Go back to the oracle and enter it when three eyes have opened. Go southwest,
west, and up to the Top of the World. Now, do you remember that name the other
Brogmoid fungus said? First, drink the potion, then say the name of the

Afterwards, take the little fungus and drop the cup. Return to the base of the
mountain, then go east, south, and west to find Megaboz's hut. Drop the
stepladder here. Get onto it and open the door. Then go up and push the
button to finally reveal the rebus.

Go down and read the poem.  WRITE  IT  DOWN.

Then head east, north, southeast, east, and northeast. Take the vial here,
despite setting off the security system. Drop the pigeon and take it back; you
will then be dealt a hunger spell. Soon, you'll starve to death. Oh noes!

Back here in the Great Hall, get the food and the wand. Go west and point the
wand at the flamingo. Take the flamingo, then go east, down, north, north.
Put the flamingo in either the left or right booth, then enter the other booth.
Wait around for the flamingo to become normal, and press the button.

Holy crap, you're a freaking flamingo! Eat the food and wait for the whole
transformation to dissipate.  O_O  Pick everything up, except the wand, which
is no longer needed, and not the pigeon, for obvious reasons. Put on the
amulet, then take the pigeon to warp again.

Go down here and retrace the path you took under the world. Drop the fungus
here to reunite the two, and they just walk up and leave.  O_o  Enter and get
some wax. Yeah, we just could NOT use our own.

Exit and go up to the Lower Hall. Head southeast and east, then enter the dock
and enter the yacht. Here, put the Seaman's Cap back on, then push the green
button. Wait a turn, then leave the yacht and docks.

Go south and west to find a thirsty camel. Aww... Ride it and go east, north,
and west. The camel will get its thirst plenty quenched here. Now, to ride to
the oasis - go east, south, south, southwest, southeast, southeast, and

Here, stand and fill the "9" vial. Pour the "9" vial into the "4" vial. Empty
the "4" vial. Repeat these last two actions. Then pour the "9" vial into the
"4" vial again, and, this time, fill the "9" vial. Pour it into the "4" vial.

Drop the "4" vial and ride the camel. Back to the yacht - southwest, northwest,
northwest, northeast, north, and north. Get off the camel and stand, then enter
the yacht. Press the yellow button and head back to the Great Hall.

Go look at the rebus. It being a mirror image and all, it reads right to left,
and the "b" is a "d", and vice versa. Work it all out and go back to the
Great Hall. Drop the Seaman's Cap, then take the lantern. Go to the oracle
room and enter the oracle with all four eyes open.

Go west and continue along the path to the precipice from before. Turn on the
lantern and head into the cave. Give the vial to the sickly or prickly witch;
I guess it doesn't matter. They'll begin to cast their spell... then they need
some Brogmoid earwax.

Well, assuming you didn't eat it or something, give the earwax to either the
sickly or prickly witch. Then the spell will be cast, and the club grabbable.
Leave, take the candle and lantern from the cliff bottom again, and turn the
latter off. Go along to Flathead Stadium and take the obvious baseball bat,
although it's called a club, much like in Zork III.

John Paul's Spyglass:

Drop and retake the pigeon to warp once more. Just one item to go - place the
club among the other twenty-two treasures.

Head over to the rebus for a number of puzzles:

 ~ TIE + BIRD - B = TIEIRD, which sounds like TIRED
 ~ PIE + N        = PIEN, which sounds like PINE
 ~ EYE + URN      = EYEURN, which sounds like IRON
 ~ MIND - D       = MIN, which sounds like MINE
 ~ W + OAR        = WOAR, which sounds like WORE
 ~ MATCH + CHICK  = MATCHICK, which sounds like MAGIC
 ~ STORM - M      = STOR, which sounds like STORE

And then, you get the completed poem:

                   "She stood in the shade of a tired pine
                      She held the prize of an iron mine
                     And all beheld that she proudly wore
                       A relic found in a magic store"

So, then, go to the Great Hall and pick up the sapphire from the Iron Mine.
Then take the ring, which came from the Magic Store.

Return to the oracle and enter it with three eyes lit to head to Fublio
Valley. There, go southwest, southeast, south, and down. You'll find the
alluded-to pine. There, wear the ring, then get the sapphire.

You'll pass out and soon reawaken. Take the candle and the random rusty key.
AND TOSS OUT THE RING. Go up, north, northwest, south, and west. Seem familiar?
Get on and head up.

Unlock the trunk with the key and open it. Then drop the key and take the fly
and the notebook. Backtrack to where the pigeon was and pick it up. In the
Great Hall, pick up the fly nearby. There are two remaining.

Go south to the Tee, then west, up, up, up, and up. Get the "even larger" fly,
and, yes, you have to put it like that. Return to the oracle and enter it when
there are two eyes open. Oh, heck yeah! A maze! How awesomesauce! </sarcasm>

Go southwest, southwest, and northwest to find a toad and the spyglass. Take
the spyglass.

It is quickly snatched away from you and he gives you an odd demand - tell him,
without using "toad", to give it back. Another thing for the instruction
booklet, found in the section of John Paul. Tell the toad "[toad name], give
me the spyglass".

Another demand is made - four flies. Go north, then northeast twice. Take this
fourth fly and go back to the toad (southwest, northwest, southwest). Give all
of the flies to the toad while using his name, then repeat the previous
paragraph's command.

Then take the spyglass.

A New Dungeon Master:

Drop and retake the pigeon to return back here, then head to the Banquet Hall.
Look around - you should see 21 obvious Flathead items, a flask, and a
dumbbell. That plus your spyglass equals 24 Flathead items, which is all you
need, and is exactly what you need.

If you don't have them all, you screwed up, unless they went in the cauldron.

If you put something else other than a Flathead in the cauldron, you just
screwed yourself.

Otherwise, start taking and dropping items in the cauldron. The Flathead items

 - The crown
 - The scepter
 - The saddle
 - The lance
 - The zorkmid bill
 - The silk tie
 - The landscape
 - The easel
 - The quill pen
 - The manuscript
 - The scale model
 - The T-sqaure
 - The diploma
 - The stock certificate
 - The violin
 - The metronome
 - The lantern
 - The screwdriver
 - The flask
 - The fan
 - The seaman's cap
 - The spyglass
 - The dumbbell
 - The club

Once you've put all 24 items inside, the cauldron reacts violently, then
abruptly halts.

Go west and read the notebook. Say the sacred word there and you'll be faced
with the most important task of this game - getting the **** out of there!
Go north, then northwest repeatedly.

Outside, you'll find the castle to be shrinking, suddenly into a small white
house with a boarded front door, the final entrance into the Great Underground
Empire, one that will not be successfully intruded for many decades to come.
The jester soon appears and reveals himself to be Megaboz.

He explains everything. He did not want the Flatheads to have any sort of
legacy of their evil, mercantilistic, tyrannical reign, not even a fan or a
club. Megaboz was also miffed that no one was brave and bold enough to stand up
to them. So he took matters into his own hands and cursed the empire - the
Great Underground Empire would fall if no one would stand up to the Flatheads
and removed their legacy.

To do so, you ended up unknowingly completing this goal by placing all of the
24 remaining possessions into the cauldron. (This also explains why you need
every possession.) You are rewarded with half of the mass treasure of the
Great Underground Empire, and are made its Dungeon Master...

... Until one day, many years later, an adventurer comes into the house. Unlike
the many before him, he succeeds in his three massive tests and meets the first
Dungeon Master to then become the second one. They are truly the best
rags-to-riches stories, and show that everyone has greatness within, if they
hardness the power within ...

End-Game Evaluation:

I'll just say this. This game requires you to have 1,000 of 1,000 points to end
the game. Thusly, if you beat the game, you have maxed the score. The rank is
for you to see.  ;)  Your move count is gonna be somewhere between 1,250 and
1,750, depending on jester stuff, mostly.

                         Section Six: Fun Things to Do               **ZORK_6**

This section is just designed for a number of random oddities in the game that
give you a chuckle or two. Consider them your "sidequests". I won't spoil them
here, though. And try to save before the obvious ones that look like they'll
kill you.

 - After drinking the potion, listen to the birch, pine, and elm trees; the
   flower, the lilypads, and the roots below the world.

 - At the Hanging from Roots area, let go.

 - At the Mirror Lake, look at the reflection of the candle, wand, flash,
   cloak, glove, pigeon, perch, amulet, jester, glove, sapphire, parchment,
   potion, magic passage, and some chesspiece.

 - Awaken the statue in the Enchanted Cave.

 - Bring the cloak to the Inquisition.

 - Clean and read the rusty key.

 - Clean the fireplace in the Ruined Hall.

 - Climb down the banner from the Balcony.

 - Cough outside of the Icky Cave.

 - Count your eyes.

 - Destroy the four orbs.

 - Do not leave the castle after saying the magic word; let it close in.

 - Do stuff to the granola in the Granola Mines - namely, step in, touch,
   taste, and smell.

 - Drop something through the machicolation at the Parapet.

 - Drop the cannonball through the murder hole in Upper Barbican when holding
   the infinite-lit candle.

 - Drop the perch into some crazy place (e.g. from the gondola mid-flight, into
   the abyss under the world, over the North of Anthar fence) and then drop and
   retake the pigeon to go to it.

 - Eat the lobster, or try to, during the prologue.

 - Examine the tables during the prologue.

 - Go to the 400th floor of FrobozzCo.'s building.

 - If asked by Otto, "Do you think you own this swamp?", say you do.

 - In the Icky Cave, for the first time, without a light, cough.

 - In the Testing Room, use the booths to turn yourself into something else,
   like a violin, then diagnose yourself.

 - Leave a chesspiece in the Fishing Village, then take the perch and pigeon to
   the Inquisition.

 - Leave the gondola in mid-flight.

 - Look at the etching on the toboggan.

 - Look at the jester when wearing the X-ray goggles.

 - Look inside the camel.

 - Make the camel drink water ("Camel, Drink Water") at the South Shore.

 - Peep through a keyhole.

 - Place a chesspiece at the Foot of Statue area, then go to the oracle. With
   the perch in hand, put the pigeon into the Oracle's mouth.

 - Play the harmonica.

 - Point the wand at stuff, including a fly, bedbug, the large brogmoid, a
   chesspiece, Otto, a unicorn, the executioner, and the jester.

 - Put something in the Borphbelly Stew pot.

 - Put the drinking straw in your mouth.

 - Sing a lullaby to a random, inanimate object.

 - Sing a lullaby with the jester around.

 - Sing a lullaby with no one around.

 - Speak with the large brogmoid.

 - Swing the bat. Do so three times.


 - Try entering the fish tank after taking it.

 - Try entering the moat.

 - Try entering the moat after the jester exclaims "See you later alligator!",
   which turns you into an alligator.

 - Try putting a magic passage in the dirigible.

 - Try removing your hand when it is not in the waldo.

 - Try taking the fish tank after entering it.

 - Try to close the walnut after cracking it open with the nutcracker.

 - Turn around.

 - Type "DATE".


 - Type "TIME" when you've done over 1,000 moves.

 - When in the Cell, try killing the giant arachnids.

 - When the jester won't let you into the hangar for the dirigible, use the
   pigeon to get rid of him, then head west.

|                      This is the end of KeyBlade999's                       |
|                       FAQ/Walkthrough for the PC game                       |
|                     Zork Zero: The Revenge of Megaboz.                      |
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