Review by HamsterCheese
This game just didn't make me happy
OK, I am a lifetime Street Fighter fan, I spent 5 years crafting my skills on SSF2TE and there's probably no video game on the planet I've played more so writing a not so glowing review hurts me more than it hurts the game.
Lets start from the beginning, Arcade mode, you're given an impressive amount of characters to chose from, many of the old favorites from past games are still there and a few quirky new ones as well. However, there are no easter eggs, no secret characters, no hidden movies nothing, zip, zilch, nada. What you see is what you get. When you play the arcade mode you're given two videos of your character, one in beginning, one in the end. The writing on the videos is hokey, non poignant and seemingly just thrown together and definitely on the short side. I'd even venture to say the videos at the end of SSF2 were much better and far far far more memorable (Zangief, Gorbachev, nuff said) than this version's. The end character is a mannequin looking man named Seth who has a few of the old characters moves and really fails to conjure any hate to make it an interesting battle where you're thinking "I MUST BEAT THIS BASTARD". The only easter egg in Arcade is if you beat the game without losing and getting one perfect you'll face Akuma last, yawn.
The difficulty levels are strange, it seems like you can either have it on a level where you destroy anyone without trouble or have your ass handed to you on a silver platter every time you try a move, making the experience somewhat lacking as neither are very stimulating or entertaining. I recently had my power go out for 9 hours and the only thing I was left with was Arcade mode on my 3ds, I literally shut the lid and laid on my side on my bed doing nothing but staring at a wall until the power came back on rather than play it. Sad, Arcade mode was the crown jewel of SSF2, stimulating but not yet godmode either. Now? It's an afterthought like a joke throw in for the internet fighters to gawk at. "Look at that relic Arcade mode, fellow neckbeard" *commence loser nerd laughter*.
Internet mode, oy vey. If you play 15 matches, three will be enjoyable with a good player who fights well, doesn't spam and won't rage quit when you're winning. The other 12? 2 will be mongoloids who you're surprised can operate a 3DS to the point where they can even turn the device on, 7 will be spamming Ryu/Ken players of varying degrees of "skill" and the rest will be an assortment of some truly awesome players who you marvel at how little of a life they have to become so good at this game, Guile spammers (FLASHKICK! x100) and annoying turds who messes around with the connection so he can get free hits then gleefully uses his players taunts while he does it. The worst thing about internet mode however is the spamming, spamming is in every video game of every platform but this genre and with the moves right there at he touch of a button it's become really ridiculous and trite and just not enjoyable. This game is prone to major rage quitting, thus the reason for my title. I put the game away for good because I just found it didn't make me happy, winning was boring and losing was annoying because usually it was against someone who did nothing but spam or mess around with the connection for some free hits. It's downright pathetic and not fun.
The 3D effect is fun for 10 minutes, then I shut it off because it hurts my eyes.
There's a few moments of nostalgia and fun in this game, such as the barrel and car smash, few good net players and familiar players/moves, so if you're looking for a fix of nostalgia I suggest getting this game used somewhere. I get the feeling it will be selling for 10 dollars on ebay soon however so don't be in a huge rush to get it (it's already available at half price in mint condition a little more than half a year after it came out).
I wouldn't dare dream of getting this game for someone who has never played the game or is under 15 however, there's just no replay value in Arcade and online is infested with neckbeard spammers types that go "SPAM? LEARN HOW TO BLOCK" who make the game as dull and predictable as watching paint dry with their predictable fight patterns. Spare your children and don't get this game, don't let them become one of those people.
It was a nice run Street Fighter, but after playing this game for a few months I've realized this is the part of the movie where you dip into the vat of molten steel and Linda Hamilton coddles me while I cry watching you burn into nothing, adios old friend.
Product Release: Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition (US, 03/27/11)
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